What do they think about Russian children? Raising children in Russia through the eyes of an American woman

Fri, 02/05/2014 - 17:52

The history of any country is fraught with many unique things that are available only to its residents, causing a pleasant nostalgic thrill and pride in their homeland. There are many native Russian things and traditions in Russia that will be incomprehensible to residents of other countries and continents. Such a delicacy from the childhood of any Soviet child as boiled condensed milk, the tradition of knocking on wood so as not to jinx it, and many other products and customs are an unknown curiosity for foreign citizens.

Pioneerball

This version of volleyball, simplified for the frail bodies of children, appeared in the 30s. Even though this type of Soviet children's sport developed mainly only the grasping function of the body, it was amazingly democratic. Literally everyone could play pioneer ball: boys, girls, fat people, dystrophic people, mentally retarded people and people with glasses. There were no stars in pioneer ball, because it was impossible to play it well (you could play very poorly, but that’s another story). Until now, Russian children in Turkish and Spanish hotels amaze the staff by playing their mysterious game.

Trust turnstiles

That's where they are buried, the roots national psychology. All over the world, turnstiles in subways and train stations are initially closed and only when tickets or coins are inserted into the proper slot do they move in different directions. If the road is closed - stop, if the road is open - go. And only our turnstiles work on the principle of carnivorous plants. They lurk in the darkness of iron boxes, giving you the illusion of complete freedom and security. But with any attempt at illegal entry, their jaws close on the body of the intruder - in the area of ​​​​the most vulnerable places. Yes, we don’t like simple, open paths. We haven't trusted them since childhood.

Boiled condensed milk

Caramelized concentrated milk also lives in foreign supermarkets - in the departments of all kinds of ingredients for confectionery products. But the taste, appearance and smell are still not at all the same as our native condensed milk, which you boiled in a saucepan for three hours and then scraped off the walls and ceiling after being slightly distracted by watching the final match of the European Cup.

Foot wraps

“There were foot wraps, there are and there will be foot wraps! – Army General Vladimir Isakov, Chief of Logistics of the Armed Forces, once said in an interview with the press. – Because synthetics are harmful for the feet, especially when you have to run 30 kilometers in tarpaulin boots. Instead of synthetic thick socks, each soldier needs to be sewn to measure, or they will shrink and fill their legs with bloody calluses. The Russian army tried socks, they tried, we don’t live in the Stone Age. So, the experiments ended in fiasco. These are all sorts of American Marines who strive to move around in helicopters and jeeps; they can afford to play around with socks.” This is the opinion of the army leadership. But there's only one useful skill Each of us can bring something from the army. For girls, for example, the ability to instantly make socks from two handkerchiefs makes an indelible impression.

Sitting down on the path

Our ancient national superstition says that if all members of a noisy family sit down and be silent for a minute before leaving, the trip will be successful. If only because it is at this sacred moment that they can mystically realize that the passports are left on the sofa, the tickets are in the bathroom, and the child is wearing skates instead of mittens.

Knocking on wood

As you know, around every person there are a lot of big-eared evil spirits who are busy destroying all dreams. As soon as they hear that someone there wants to buy a horse at a better price or marry off their daughter successfully, they immediately rush at all costs to raise prices, spoil the girl - just to cause mischief. Therefore, in all countries reasonable people Having foolishly expressed some of their desires out loud, they immediately knocked on the tree: wood scares away devils, the Druids understood this. But now other nations have lost this useful skill. And we knocked and will continue to knock!

Banya broom

More like an instrument of torture than pleasure, this bunch of branches with dried leaves is a much more original symbol of our country than the French ballet, the Chinese kokoshnik or, for example, black caviar, which is widely exported by all sorts of Iran and Canada. Many nations have baths. Only we have a broom.

Birch juice

It seems that birch trees grow in many places, but for some reason no one else thought about how tasty and healthy birch sap is. Maybe it’s all about some gene that only allows us to feel the subtle taste of sweetish veneer that is so wonderful in childhood? And even an adult needs birch sap when a foreigner comes to visit him. Then you can buy a can of this juice and force the guest to thoroughly taste our national drink, watching with quiet pleasure the expression on his face at this moment.

Kvass

Even though strong drink, the progenitor of kvass, was invented in Mesopotamia, today you won’t find kvass during the day in either Egypt or Iran, just like in any other country in the world. Only here. And those scoundrels who last years got into the habit of selling carbonated drinks “based on kvass”, you just need to drown them in basins with their products.

"Retona"

The washing machine, which weighs 300 grams, practically does not consume electricity and does not flood the neighbors below, was born in Tomsk, in the Reton research and production association. You just put it in a bowl with water and dirty laundry, add washing powder, and rest - I don’t want to. While you are minding your own business, Retona is doing its own thing: diligently treating clothes with ultrasonic waves, creating microbubbles that separate dirt from the fabric fibers. Then you will only need to rinse the laundry properly, wash it by hand or remove the most stubborn stains with bleach, and thoroughly wring out the laundry. Millions of people have already bought this brilliant invention. Yes, by the way, “Porridge from an Ax” is also a Russian fairy tale.

Seeds

How we managed to introduce eating sunflower seeds, which were brought to us two hundred years ago, into the rank of an ancient national tradition is a mystery. Nevertheless, this plant has become so absorbed into our culture that even trained historians will make mistakes. For example, in the book of the wonderful writer and the story of Boris Akunin “Altyn-Tolobas” we can find a beggar girl husking seeds, not embarrassed by the fact that in the year 1682 described, advanced gardeners in Holland and France had just begun to cultivate this exotic flower.

Vocative case

Once upon a time it was among many Latin peoples, but then it completely degenerated. And we carefully preserved it. True, slightly modified. If earlier, when addressing a person, we expanded the word with an additional “e” at the end (“prince”, “human”), then in modern Russian the vocative form is, on the contrary, an abbreviation in the last vowel: “Zin, a Zin”, “ Listen, Pashk,” “Lech, ah, Lech!”

Old New Year

Europe moved from Julian to Gregorian calendar at the end of the 16th century, and Russia only at the beginning of the twentieth. However Orthodox Church categorically refused to participate in this outrage. There was nothing special here (after all, all branches of Orthodoxy celebrate Christmas on January 7), but we also had an atheistic revolution, which threw Christmas into the dustbin of history and made the most important holiday of the year not it, but the New Year hanging out next door year, attaching to it all the former Christmas attributes such as a Christmas tree, burning stars and gifts from the Magi. As a result, in the people's memory we ended up with a mish-mash like an Olivier salad and we became the owners of unprecedented wealth - as many as three festive weeks, beginning with Catholic Christmas and ending with the slightly sad holiday of the Old New Year, the very name of which is from the category of things impossible, but existing.

String bag

Unknown when primitive For the first time, I thought of connecting animal tendons so that they formed a cellular container that you could put in your pocket in case you suddenly spotted a line for scarce sausage on the way home from work. But we know how the name of the bag beloved by Soviet citizens came about. It was first heard in Raikin’s monologue in 1935. “But this is a string bag,” said his character, waving the above-mentioned object in front of the viewer. “Maybe I’ll bring something home in it today.”

The address is backwards

What is more important – the individual or the state? Individual or society? Unit or system? While philosophers are struggling to resolve these global issues, the Russian postal service has long ago solved them. Only our address begins with the country, then comes the city, street, house and, finally, that combination of letters that you are used to considering as your personal call signs. From the general, so to speak, to the particular. In all other countries, you first notify the postal services that you need John Smith, and only then indicate the coordinates of the place where John Smith is usually found. But it’s easier to work as a postman here!

Activated carbon

Coal has an absorbent property and at the same time reduces acidity environment– just what the doctor ordered. So they treat “stomach problems” with it everywhere. But sanctimonious doctors and pharmacists abroad do their best to disguise the original component, putting all sorts of additives into coal and subjecting it to various metamorphoses (in life you will never guess what this white pill or pink capsule is made of). And only in Russia do honest sellers package blackening, most frightening-looking pills in pharmacy packaging that stain your mouth and fingers. But it helps!

"What? Where? When?" and KVN

There are more quiz shows and competitions on television than you can eat. But only two games are ours original projects, while the TV people bought the scripts for all the others from foreign companies. Just two. But the best and most beloved.

Dyeing easter eggs onions

Of course, this is all due to poverty. The Russian peasant usually did not have sufficient funds for gold foil and honey paints, so the poor decorated the eggs with what was at hand - onion peels. Sometimes they also wrapped the eggs with thread to create a cheerful pattern. But on the other hand, a properly boiled egg in an onion solution turned out much tastier than usual, especially if the shell was slightly cracked.

Cup holders

At a time when glass was outrageously expensive, glass holders were ubiquitous - as armor and support for an unstable, expensive glass. When glass began to cost a ridiculous amount of pence and pfennings, the glass holders said goodbye to humanity, boarded the ship and sailed with beautiful songs to fairyland. This happened everywhere except one big, big country. People there had to travel on trains for a very long time. And on the road, as you know, you really want tea, especially since in the country we are talking about, tea drinking has become national tradition. And then it turned out that you can’t do without a cup holder on a shaking train: it’s unpleasant when they scald you with boiling water. Everyone is so accustomed to drinking tea from glasses with cup holders that they began to serve this drink in the same way in their homes.

Buckwheat

Although the root “Greek” makes one suspect a Greek spy in this mess, she is truly ours. Ancient evidence of human consumption of buckwheat was found only in one place, in Altai. There are plenty of fossilized buckwheat grains in burials and sites. Apparently, it was from Altai that buckwheat spread throughout Asia - although without much success. Only the Japanese and Chinese partially retained it in their diet, adding mashed buckwheat to flour, and most peoples never really ate it. Nutritionists believe: the whole point here is that you need to get used to buckwheat from an early age, otherwise an adult, trying it for the first time buckwheat porridge, will feel bitterness and a chemical taste. So, except for us, no one really eats it or knows how to eat it. Although buckwheat is sold in Europe and the USA in all sorts of organic food stores, you can’t look at these bags without crying. The buckwheat in them is uncooked: green, crushed and good for nothing.

Doors opening inwards

The legend that in the USSR apartment doors open inward to make it easier for the KGB to knock them down during arrest is just a legend. The KGB officers opened the doors themselves - quietly and doomedly. And their location is a common thing for northern regions. Where a couple of meters of snow pile up on the porch overnight, you very quickly understand how to hang the doors if you intend to get out of the house before winter sets in.

Brine

Marinade - at least fill it up. You will never find simple cucumber pickle anywhere. Only here. It is not clear why export has not yet been established, tanks are not rushing, brine pipelines have not been laid. You might think we're the only ones who drink. Or was there no one yet ready to risk the liver of Prometheus, who would steal this secret from us and give it to humanity suffering from a hangover?

There are no such couple holidays anywhere. Is it only in Japan that our main sexual holidays slightly correspond to “boys’ holiday” and “girls’ holiday.” But there it is only for children, but here it is for everyone. No one has looked at the original meaning of these dates for a long time. On the day of the working woman, even those ladies who have not worked for five minutes in their lives receive gifts, but on the day Russian army nothing can save the most heroic draft dodgers from the new examples of socks, ties and razors in their private collection.

Zelenka

Perhaps there is not a single house in our country where there would not be at least one bottle of brilliant green. A magical remedy for everything: apply it and everything will go away. Hundreds of miraculous bubbles fly away from Domodedovo and Sheremetyevo airports every day. They fly to distant lands, to wild people who don’t know what brilliant green is. Western doctors have already learned to distinguish Russian children during examinations by mysterious green spots on their bodies. And as soon as they learned, they started screaming, because the kids found themselves smeared with such a mixture that not only was it poured on themselves, but it was also unsafe to look at from afar. Complete teratogens with carcinogens. Since then, all sorts of malicious Western commissions have continually demanded that the production of brilliant green be banned in Russia. But in a country where textbooks on obstetrics still recommend lubricating breastfeeding mothers’ nipples with green tea (against cracks), such proposals can be regarded as extreme blasphemy and, in some ways, even disgusting. Because this is already an attack on the foundations.

Pine nuts

The healthiest nuts are eaten only in Russia, which is not surprising. In order for them to reach the table of any citizen of the country, this country must have many thousands of square kilometers of taiga. But you cannot grow pine nuts industrially. Or they will have to be sold at a completely obscene price: the cedar tree needs too much space to produce its first ten modest cones after fifty years. True, we are now exporting pine nuts, but they are in no hurry to buy them en masse abroad: this exotic fruit is painfully unusual for local buyers.

Everything that seems familiar in Russia sometimes shocks residents of other countries. The attitude of mothers towards children is no exception. Let's look at Russian mothers through the eyes of foreigners.

About Russian education

American Tanya Mayer, who lived in Russia for many years and published the book “Shapka, babushka, kefir. How children are raised in Russia,” argues that Russian education is fundamentally different from European and American ones. She liked some things, but not so much others. So, what is unique to Russian mothers?

They are more likely to choose breastfeeding

If a Russian woman has milk, she will most likely feed the baby herself. And it is unlikely that soon after giving birth she will go to work, sending her child to a nursery or nanny, as often happens in America. In Russia it is customary to prefer family to career.

They have little hope for help from the child's father

IN Western countries ah on weekends you can see a lot of men walking with children in the parks. In Russia, mothers traditionally take care of children more than fathers. If the husband helps with the child “by full program”, then this is regarded as an exception rather than as a rule. Many women try not to trust their children to their fathers at all, because they are convinced that the man will do everything wrong.

They often entrust their children to their grandmothers

In the West this is simply not accepted. There, grandmothers do not sit with their grandchildren, but live their own lives, for example, go to various interest clubs and travel. Call us and ask: “Mom, can I leave Mishka with you until the evening?” in order of things. On the contrary, if the grandmother has other plans and refuses to take care of her grandson, the Russian mother will be mortally offended.

They love to go out with children

Russian mothers are convinced that what bigger baby will be in the fresh air, the better for him. That's why they walk with their children for hours. They try to spend the summer at the dacha; if it is not possible, they can send the child to their grandmother in the village “for vitamins.”

They carefully monitor the children's nutrition

Most Russian mothers try to follow the principles for their children healthy eating- even if they themselves eat fast food. They may limit strawberries, citrus fruits or chocolate if the child is allergic to them. It’s rare that mothers let their child eat ice cream and drink cold drinks - they are convinced that this will give the baby a sore throat.

They have a strange attitude towards treating children

Many women in Russia are against childhood vaccinations. And they prefer to treat children not with pills, but folk remedies and homeopathy - less “chemistry”. Tanya Mayer also thought it was wild: after all, law-abiding Americans are used to running to doctors and following their orders in full... In addition, Russian mothers often travel with their children, and taking an unvaccinated baby to other countries is very risky, she believes Mayer.

They love to send their children to extracurricular clubs and sections.

In Europe, it is customary to entrust a child to a kindergarten or school, and if he goes to clubs, it is usually at this institution. In our country, they certainly try to enroll children in an art studio or for dances at the cultural center, in music school, to classes foreign languages... It is believed that the more extracurricular activities the child attends - the more prestigious.

They raise children all the time

Don’t slurp at the table!”, “Don’t walk through puddles!”, “Behave decently!” The fact that Russian mothers constantly make comments to their children, shout at them and sometimes even spank them in front of everyone, makes unprepared foreigners dumbfounded.

In Japan, up to the age of five, children are generally allowed to do almost everything, and in most Western countries they are reprimanded only in very egregious cases. If a child, say, eats with his hands or screams too loudly, then this is often simply not paid attention to.

They punish not only their own children, but also other people's children.

“Once in Moscow, my son was naughty, and one nanny loudly slapped him on the palm - they said, it’s impossible,” recalls Mayer. “I asked that woman not to do that again, to which she was surprised: “What’s wrong? That’s how it is with us!”

Indeed, in Russia a woman can make a sharp remark to her child’s friend or even hit him for some offense, and this does not always become a reason for complaints and proceedings. In the West, it is believed that you can only raise your own children. If something doesn’t suit you, go complain to the child’s parents, but under no circumstances touch him yourself!

Russians raising their children in an atmosphere of unlimited guardianship instill in them habits that shock foreigners. Because of the difference in mentality, they believe Russian methods forging personality, very conservative, tough and suppressing the child’s individualism.

Child control

According to psychologist Maria Shchensnyak, Europeans are amazed at the attitude of Russian adults towards children, whom they do not perceive as an independent unit. Surrounding their children with excessive care, they try to protect them from mistakes, deprive them of the right to choose, trying to prolong their carefree childhood. Meanwhile, in the opinion of foreigners, it is for this reason that Russian children, for the most part, grow up to be spoiled and childish people, unable to make decisions. The absence of the habit of listening to the child, not limiting his freedom within the limits of what is permitted and wisely indulging his whims, ultimately leads to the “creation” of a complex, insecure person, dependent on the opinions of others.

Little manipulator

Along with this, there is another habit of Russian children - manipulation. Knowing about his role in the life of his parents and that they will go to great lengths for his sake, the child, in order to achieve his goal, forces adults to follow his lead, abandoning their previous words. For these purposes, there is a whole arsenal of “weapons” - screaming until you are hoarse, rolling on the floor, crying your eyes out, pretending to be sick, etc. Foreign parents in such cases will allow the child to go through all stages of hysteria, while Russian parents, for the most part, rush to save the child and fulfill his demands.

Grandmothers and grandfathers

Foreigners are sincerely surprised great love Russian children to their grandparents, who, instead of devoting leisure time to themselves, traveling and enjoying a life free from work, are raising their grandchildren for free. Giving young parents the opportunity to build a career, they take care of their child, citing experience in this difficult matter. Russian families are critical of the idea of ​​hiring a nanny; firstly, this circumstance requires additional budget items, and secondly, the grandmother will simply be offended when she learns that a person from the street was chosen over her. Justifying “grandmother’s” upbringing, Elena Kazantseva claims that between grandchildren and elderly relatives there is “ mystical connection", strengthening the connection between generations.

Too many clothes

American Donna Gorman, who lived in Russia for several years, wondered on the pages of the Time newspaper why local mothers tirelessly wrap their children in warm clothes. In the West, the child decides for himself how and what to wear, while Russian parents prefer to independently take care of the baby’s decoration, which must protect him from colds. In this regard, hats become an indispensable attribute of children’s clothing, numerous modifications of which change from season to season.

Mandatory walks

At the same time, Gorman notes that, in addition to a phobia of illness, Russian parents have a mania for walks, which they go on with their children, both in pleasant weather and in severe frost. Explaining such actions with the phrase “children need Fresh air", they shock foreigners, who see this as a real execution. This is why children grow up spending a lot of time outside.

Late sleep

Gorman, who had contacts with Russian families, did not understand the habit of local children going to bed late due to attending numerous clubs, sports sections, tutors and homework. In the West, such a burden on a child is considered unacceptable, but in Russia, the more additional classes he attends, the more developed he appears in the eyes of others.

Showdown in Russian

According to educational consultant Isabella Lauterpacht, in private schools in the UK, students from Russia can be easily identified by how they cope with conflict situations in the classroom. Accustomed to solving problems on their own, they never go to complain about the offender to the administration, but prefer to sort things out with their fists. The reason for this lies in the fact that from childhood children are taught not to sneak around, but to be able to stand up for themselves. Such behavior of Russian boys often becomes the basis for their expulsion.

Spoiled

Among other features of Russian teenagers in foreign boarding schools, Lauterpacht names spoiledness, which results in indiscipline, aggression and self-will. They are used to getting everything they want at the first click, and having a good understanding of their rights, they do not want to realize that they also have responsibilities. While flaunting the material capabilities of their parents in front of their peers from Western countries, they sometimes forget that the main purpose of their stay at school is to study.

Russian girls, unlike their European peers, are fixated on fashion, their appearance and the impression they make on the opposite sex. Being the center of attention of boys, they suffer from arrogance and vanity.

Tanya Mayer moved to Russia from the USA in the 90s. I learned the language and set off to conquer Moscow. Everything turned out relatively well for Tanya: a well-paid job, romantic relationship... But it didn’t last long: when the man found out about the pregnancy, he chose to simply hide. So she became a single mother in Russia and gained invaluable experience, as it turned out years later. Time passed, Tanya got married, gave birth to two more children and moved to Europe, but her experience of raising a child in Moscow was so memorable and useful that she decided to write a book about it called “Shapka. Babushka. Kefir. How children are raised in Russia."

How did you end up in Russia, how long did you spend here and how often do you come here?
I studied Russian language and economics at Georgetown University in Washington. After graduation, I worked on Wall Street for a year and at some point told my boss that I wanted to go to Moscow.

I stayed here for 8 years - in 2008 I moved to London with my husband. Now we live in Vienna, but I try to come to Moscow at least once a year: I like to watch how the city is changing.

How did you decide to write a book about your experience? What attracted you so much to Russian motherhood?
I am very glad that I wrote this book. I'm not a journalist or a writer, but I enjoy collecting information, analyzing it, and writing. One day one of my Moscow friends added me to a secret group of Russian mothers on Facebook (many of them lived in Moscow, but some were scattered all over the world).

Then I shared the idea of ​​the book with the group and asked the girls if they would agree to tell me about their experience of motherhood. They responded with great enthusiasm and I got to work. I got the feeling that the women I spoke to were receiving great pleasure from sharing their experience - perhaps because in Russia it is customary to take motherhood seriously. I was probably the first person to ask them to analyze exactly how they were raising their children and why. Talking to the girls was really cool.

How does Russian motherhood generally differ from European and American motherhood?
It seems to me that Russian mothers - no matter where they live: in New York, Moscow or Paris - take their parenting very seriously.

And at the same time, such involvement in parenting does not prevent them from finding time for themselves. Russian women are not victims of motherhood, they enjoy it. They are not afraid to ask for help: in my book many chapters are dedicated to nannies and grandmothers, because in Russia it is customary to raise children together and rely on help different people. In the USA there are mothers who work from home, they are focused on their careers, so they use outside help: mothers plan the lives of their children, but other people implement these plans. There is another type of American mother, housewife. They perceive motherhood as a sport, and the interests of their children often replace all other needs - I think this is not a very healthy tendency. But Russian women manage to combine everything: they are loving mothers and wives, good friends, they make time to take care of themselves. Russian mothers support each other and are less likely to judge other people's choices. And, of course, they are absolutely not lazy.

Is the way maternity leave is organized in Russia more humane or stupid?
Oh, this is very humane! I, as I already said, did not have maternity leave, but it was my own decision: I didn’t want to lose a high position and a good salary. In the US, the standard parental leave is 6 weeks. American mothers work until the 40th week of pregnancy, give birth and return to work after a month and a half, being forced to leave their children in nurseries - nannies are very expensive and not everyone can afford them. This is the terrible reality that faces most of working mothers in the USA.

IN European countries maternity leave lasts a maximum of 12 months - this, of course, is a dream compared to the American system.

What do you think about Russian kindergartens?
My son was too small for kindergarten when we lived in Moscow.

In the book I write that such a choice is precisely Russian peculiarity: in Europe and the USA there are certain education standards that are supported by the state and society and which almost all parents try to adhere to. But it seems to me that there should be many and different ways of education, because all children are different. In Russia I came across children who did not go to any school until they were seven years old. preschool institutions, and were at the same time very smart and well socialized.

Which superstitions of local moms and dads did you find cute and which were wild?
I love logic, so superstitions generally seem unreasonable to me. What amuses me most is the local idea that cold drinks (especially with ice) can cause a sore throat or high fever. I also find it funny to see Russian mothers, like my well-educated friend Sonya, who don’t cut their hair during pregnancy.

What do you think Russian traditions It would be good to introduce parenthood everywhere, but which ones are better to abandon altogether?
Healthy eating, frequent walks with children, early potty training—these are trends in Russian parenting that the entire planet should learn from. But I wouldn’t copy everything: there are days when you can go outside without a hat, and it also seems to me that humanity can survive just fine without several courses of baby massage.

So how do they raise children in Russia? Good or bad?
Obviously I'm biased, since I wrote an entire book on this topic. But in general: yes, they raise children very well in Russia! Russian mothers spend so much time thinking about their decisions, reading books, studying information, asking questions and analyzing their own actions, investing so much mental strength into your motherhood! Women all over the world could learn from them. Unfortunately, in Europe and the USA there is still an idea of ​​Russian women as strange glamorous creatures with long red nails.

Europeans see us in rose-colored light, while Africans see us in black and white

Despite the decades that have passed since the fall of " iron curtain“Russia for a foreigner is still terra incognita. And our citizens evoke a range of different feelings among foreigners - including our manner of celebrating the New Year. An Irishman, an Iranian, an African and an American who visited Russia candidly shared with us their observations regarding our moral character, family structure, everyday habits and state of mind (before and after the celebration). Thanks to their frankness, we can see ourselves, our loved ones, through their eyes. After all, it’s always useful to look at yourself from the outside and listen to what our neighbors think of us?

Daisel L. Frederick, South Africa.

Residents of Dublin were not ashamed to speak the truth to our faces (John Murray, 52 years old, came to film about Moscow documentary, and 20 years ago he studied at); Tehran (Behruz Bahadorifar, 34 years old, married to a Russian for several years); South African Durban (Daizel L. Frederick, 29 years old, studied in Moscow for a year, but could not stand the climate and is now leaving) and New York (Harold Jones, 63 years old, in Moscow for the first time on a month-long business trip).

A look at our women...

From Ireland:- Many Russian girls seemed somehow uptight to me. It’s as if everything is the opposite with them: at first she’s shy, and you can’t even get a word out of her... And then suddenly she makes the closest contact, and a day later she expects to marry you! This is especially noticeable at parties, of which there are many everywhere in Moscow in December - both in offices and in restaurants. Our girls, on the contrary, can laugh, sit with men in a pub, and behave very freely, but this does not mean that she will want to continue the party with one of them. And if he suddenly wants to, he will say so. And the Russian woman first says, “I’m not who you take me for!?” - and then goes straight to bed. It is very noticeable from Russian women that they are looking for a husband, and not just a guy for leisure. In this sense, I even envy Russian men: among our girls, getting married is no longer fashionable. Besides, even if an Irish woman ends up being your wife, it won’t be too much for you! They are very characteristic and demanding, and we do not encourage divorce, and you can lose everything in it - health, nerves, and everything acquired through backbreaking labor, as you say. And Russian girls, it seems to me, see Europeans in too much of a rosy light - here, too, not everything is perfect everywhere. I noticed that your girls often have naively rosy impressions of family life relationships with Europeans are built on films and tourist trips. But this is not life, but outdoor advertising.

John Murray, Ireland.

From Iran:- Your girls are very beautiful, but it seems to me that they don’t know their worth! In our country, such a beauty would sit at home and wait for the prince to woo her! And yours run after young people and forgive them everything. Wives, as far as I can see, forgive their husbands a lot in life, but they can also raise their voices at him in front of strangers. With us it’s the other way around: in the house main woman- mother, wife, she is very demanding of her husband, but swearing at him in front of others means terribly humiliating him. But all the same, your women, in my opinion, are somehow ingenuous - and they harm themselves. Yours also love to work; ours don’t work that much. And some Russian women work even on December 31, although in Russia on this day you need to prepare for a feast, and it is a woman’s job to prepare all those numerous snacks that you usually put on the table. At the same time, unlike ours, a Russian woman can wear anything at home, but she will make a complete mess if she needs to go out to the store.

From South Africa:- For some reason, most Russian girls prefer black in clothes, even in summer. But at the same time, in winter, many people are dressed inappropriately for the weather and the occasion: for example, thin tights in the cold and jewelry in the morning. Moscow parties, although on New Year's Eve should be rather carnival-like (with the exception of spontaneous ones in a hostel or at someone's house), seemed to me too pretentious, and the girls seemed cold, arrogant and somehow tired. I was also struck by the abundance of all-female groups in expensive karaoke clubs: dressed up girls come in groups, order a table, a minimum of food, and sing. It is clear that they are not lesbians. But as soon as you come up to meet them, they give an angry rebuff - and continue singing with tense faces. I still don’t understand why they go to such expensive establishments if not to have fun? Sing for each other?

From USA:- Outwardly, Russian women differ from ours in their clothing style: they dress carefully and smartly every day, and not just when they go on a visit or to the theater, like ours. At the same time, Russians are clearly less confident in themselves. Everyone - even the most homely American woman - expects respect from men and her husband, in particular, and knows that caring for children will never become her only problem. And Russian girls - despite the fact that more American women are focused specifically on legal marriage - do not hesitate to date married men. I know this both from the stories of Russian men who are proud that in addition to their wife they have a young mistress, and from the girls themselves. For Americans family problems It’s easier to decide, so they don’t feel afraid of not getting married at all or getting divorced. For American women, the most important thing is to have own life- interests, social circle, self-esteem, income. And a Russian woman sacrifices her life to her husband and often takes care of him until a very old age, and then becomes a free nanny for her grandchildren.

...for family, children and school...

From Ireland:- It was amazing that Russian children love hamburgers much more than American ones, and sushi - more than Japanese ones. I was also surprised that children after 18 remain to live with their parents, and some are even brought to parents' house wives or husbands - this is not customary here.

From :- Dogs and cats are often kept in apartments. And often large dogs or several cats. People in Iran also love animals, but this is unthinkable for us. Big dog can only live in the yard if you have a big one a private house. The cat also needs to be able to go out for a walk. When I asked why to have pets in such cramped conditions, many parents answered that they could not refuse their children. But despite the fact that often mothers and fathers indulge even the excessive whims of the child, they can shout at their offspring in in public places- this is unthinkable!

From South Africa:- It seems to me that Russian children play very little outdoor games - for example, you rarely see boys kicking a ball on the street. Parents do not allow their children to walk outside, but they do allow them to sit for hours in front of the TV and at the computer. It’s also strange and unusual that parents, and especially grandparents, force their children to eat. Why force it if the child doesn’t want to?

From :- In Russian families, it is customary to compare which of the children studies better, behaves, etc. Americans have a different approach: they praise everyone equally, a lot and often. In the United States, their goal is to develop independence and self-sufficiency in children. It seems to me that American children are, as a result, more cheerful and lively than Russians. In America, a child learns almost from birth: he has the right to choose. Thus, in American schools, children do not all study according to the same curriculum: everyone chooses the subjects that he likes.

Harold Jones, USA.

...to our realities, manners and habits...

From Ireland:- I noticed that Russians do not know how or do not like to make superficial acquaintances. For them, people are divided into “strangers”, with whom it is not customary to talk, and “friends”, whom you can wake up in the middle of the night and dump all your problems on them. And there seems to be no middle ground in the form of simply polite, non-binding communication. Therefore, apparently, a simple “How are you? Russians silently and suspiciously look at you if you are not familiar to them yet - like, for what purpose are you interested? It often happened that I was introduced to Muscovites and they seemed somehow dissatisfied and tense. And then that evening they invited me to their house, and it was clear that they were carefully preparing for my visit. There we drank together and began to be “friends” - sharing everything, laughing, singing and dancing. And before drinking together, Russians apparently find it difficult to relax with a stranger.

I was also amazed by the queues for the bus. While waiting for the bus, people stand in such a way that each of them can safely hula hoop without the risk of hitting a neighbor. Simply violating the so-called personal space is indecent and uncomfortable. And in Moscow people support each other, push each other with their elbows, breathe in their faces.

From South Africa:- It’s surprising that when the streets are clogged with traffic, Russians prefer huge SUVs! Moscow has a beautiful metro, but for some reason riding in it is considered unprestigious. But on the subway almost everyone reads - this is also surprising! I was also surprised by the doors: in Russia, many open inwards. For what? Bathing habits are also not for the faint of heart: from the steamy winter - and straight into the snow! This can give you pneumonia in no time!

From USA:- The road from the airport, contrary to the stories, surprised good quality- but the Moscow traffic jam turned out to be even worse than I had heard about it. We got into it for a good couple of hours, and all sorts of Bentleys, Porsches and other luxury cars were languishing in traffic around us. The Moscow vehicle fleet amazes with its wealth. And it’s hard for me to believe that some people buy such luxury cars with their last money or even on credit. But I have heard more than once that the Russians do exactly this. At the same time, they can calmly ignore many rules - both for the operation of the car and for their own safety.

...on our food, drinking habits and New Year in Russian

From Ireland:- The manner of receiving guests in the kitchen seemed strange - especially when something was being prepared there at the same time. And in general, do several things at the same time. With us, if you have agreed to meet with friends or invited them to your place, then you drop everything else and take care of them. Russians can invite guests and, while communicating with them, at the same time do some household chores or talk on the phone. They can also have a long conversation about business in front of everyone, for example, at a table in a restaurant. But at the same time, such a meeting will be somehow regulated in time. For Russians, such gatherings last, as they say, “from the fence until lunch”: it seems that the owner is busy with his own affairs and, while drinking with you, communicates with members of the household, does homework with the child, talks on the phone, but as soon as you get ready to leave - he immediately gets offended. They also drink whiskey from glasses, and vodka from glasses. And the completely barbaric custom of drinking strong alcohol with soda or juice! I was invited to a Russian family for the New Year, but, to be honest, I was just scared! As I imagined that they would not let me leave the table and the apartment until the morning, and that it would be inconvenient to run away at 2 a.m., I chose to refuse altogether. It’s hard for me to imagine a stormy holiday until the morning small apartment where there are children. After all, children will need to sleep, and adults will make noise and listen to music. And if one of the household members gets tired and wants to lie down, he will have to endure until all the guests leave. And I’m afraid I won’t be able to eat and drink all night long.

From Iran:- We have a lot of similar utensils and dishes - samovar, cauldron, kebab, tea, yogurt. We also like to add garlic to our food, but we don’t eat it raw. Your food is very tasty, but, in my opinion, too fatty, but you use little spices. In Iran, the new year is called Nowruz and is celebrated at the end of March for a week. We also cook a lot of dishes and go on walks as a family. But in general, of course, Novruz is like spring holiday, looks different - we don’t drink alcohol and prefer picnics in nature.

Behrouz Bahadorifar, Iran.

From USA:- Russians set the table for any occasion. Moreover, the abundance of food is simply off the charts: both alcohol and provisions - everything is bought in abundance. Also, the Russians (no offense to their hospitality) stuff you very obsessively. They ask: “Do you want to eat?” You answer: “No, thanks, I’m full.” And they start: “How about some soup? Well, at least a sandwich?” Or do they think I'm hiding my hunger out of modesty? Americans are not known for such delicacy: if they are hungry, they will agree to eat with joy. Americans love to eat, but this has nothing to do with friendly visits to someone's home. People in America come to visit not to eat, but to socialize. In our country, Christmas is celebrated with family, and in New Year's Eve people go out into the streets - every city has a special New Year's place. In , for example, many people go to Times Square. Bringing alcohol there and drinking it is strictly prohibited; those who want to drink at the same time watch the action on TV - from a bar or from home. Russians now also walk around the city center on New Year's Eve, but it is difficult to find sober people among them. But most of all I'm afraid of your fireworks! Recently I was invited to a dacha near Moscow. Forest, air, lovely hosts. But after the barbecue with vodka, they decided to set off fireworks! It was some kind of Armageddon! These explosive devices smoked and stank like TNT bombs! Maybe they are of poor quality? I began to say - this is dangerous, there may be a fire and injuries. But intelligent owners country house They just laughed at me and said that this would happen all over Moscow on New Year’s Eve! What a blessing that by this moment I will already be flying home!

Personal observations and attitude towards foreigners

From Ireland:- Your people know how to do a lot with their own hands - men can fix everything themselves, even cars, and women sew, knit, heal, cook. This is good, but it seems to me that this “lot of knowledge” is sometimes to the detriment of the main task and makes you scatter yourself. You all understand politics, medicine and education and spend a lot of time on empty arguments about this... It’s also funny that on the streets the smile of a passer-by for no reason alarms Russians, but in online communication they, on the contrary, abuse emoticons. Not a single Irishman, for example, will put three emoticons in a row after a simple phrase like “I’m at work.” And the Russian will deliver. And the girl will also stick a heart on it. That is, Russians are more emotional on the Internet than in real life.

From Iran:“With us, if a guest asks for directions, people will definitely stop, explain in detail and even show us. Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere, and no one has a minute to even say a word. Perhaps Russians are simply busier people than Iranians.

From USA:- The way Russians buy almost luxury items with their last money or on credit - cars, watches, jewelry - is amazing. Girls who do not even have their own home and permanent job, they buy expensive branded clothes and handbags to look expensive. For Russians, saving electricity and water is considered a shameful penny-pinching - even if they live on a meager salary. Another strange habit is to accumulate rubbish on balconies for decades, and in the summer to drag it many miles to litter the dacha. Russians never throw away plastic bags, but put them in a separate bag. Some choose the prettier one and walk the streets with it. In New York, you can also see women with bright branded bags in their hands, but this means that the lady has just left the store. There are many security guards in Moscow, with weapons, in shops, museums, restaurants, offices and even churches! In churches where, according to the very idea, no crime is possible! The abundance of armed guards in Moscow makes you feel like a potential criminal!

It’s an amazing thing - Russians don’t like America as a whole, but they treat individual Americans who come to Russia well. In general, I came to the conclusion that an American cannot understand Russians. But the average American doesn’t care about incomprehensible Russia. The average American is concerned about the loan for the house, salary, the question of where to have a picnic for the coming weekend and where to go on vacation - but not the fate of Russia.