Beautiful descriptions of erotic scenes by male writers. Describing a bed scene - a fanfic for the fandom "Fikbook and everything connected with it"
Ok, if all this is bad, then what is good?
In fact, there are no universal criteria for the “goodness” of a sex scene. If it lacks the negative elements listed in the first part, it should no longer cause disgust or laughter. However, it is still a long way from an ordinary, undistinguished scene to decoration. This is where the “give the reader something else” factor comes into play.
"Anything else"
It’s difficult for me personally to describe this phenomenon. Maybe this is perceived at the level of personal feelings, but I will try to formulate my thought. A good sex scene is filled with feelings. Not just sensations, impressions, or filled with nothing, like a police report, but feelings. She must make sense. That is, if you crown your gorgeous love affair with such a scene, or at least introduce it like climax, she must change heroes.
For example. A girl can feel different - more mature, more sensual (everything was wrong before - but now she knew what real pleasure was), bolder, more crazy (now she is knee-deep in the sea, she has achieved what she wanted), more detached and calmer ( she realized that he could never love her, so at least let him sleep with her). The guy can understand what it is real love(and before that there was only pure sex), or real woman(and before that there were only girls), or real art (for example, if they suddenly get into tantra), or real beauty (well, he hasn’t seen naked women in person, what should he do...), etc. In general, the scene should open new horizons for the characters, and your job is to show this beautifully to the reader.
The idea is not new. But usually, even cool authors who do not forget to introduce conflicts into every dialogue, every scene, carefully monitoring the growth of the character, forget to do this in the sex scene. Of course, you can describe sex well without this. But, as they said, this is terry IMHO, and to me personally it “tastes better” this way. Now let's move on to specific suggestions for improving your art.
Epithets, metaphors, comparisons - this is our motto
1. Compare. In my opinion, this has never ruined a single scene. She will immediately become juicy and beautiful. Compare movements and actions, flexibility, smoothness of lines, passion, ardor, etc. This is especially true for women. It’s just advisable to avoid cliches like “passionate like a tigress”, “flexible like a cat”, “strong like a lion”, “cold like ice”, well, I think you yourself know which comparisons are best to use))
2. Metaphysicize what is difficult to say in plain text. Oh, this is my favorite point. Probably should have taken it out separately. Anyway. In general, if you are embarrassed about something or don’t want to seem vulgar, describe it with a metaphor. In my opinion, it is not permissible to use specific words and expressions in general, unless you have tough masculine prose, where it is necessary, so that all this slobbering romance does not get out of the general context. Saying “orgasm” is very easy. But it’s difficult to show this feeling through a hero. Show the fall into the abyss, flashes, lightning, thunder, sparks, darkness, light, peace, satiety, fullness (or whatever you feel there, Idk). Show it with a feeling. The reader will understand what you mean, even if you don’t say like Captain Obvious, “Vasya Pupkin has never had such an orgasm.” The same goes for other elements.
3. Sing praises to the sexiest parts of your body. Yep, it's not just the parts you're thinking of. There are hundreds of ratings on the Internet - both from Man’s Health, and simply, and surveys on various portals, etc. If you don't rely on sociology and men's/women's magazines, sing the praises of what specifically appeals to you. Beautiful hands- OK. Chest and pumped up abs - excellent. Pink buttocks (XDDD), smooth beautiful back line, strong broad shoulders, satiny skin, rounded knee, slender hips, long neck after all... Think and describe it beautifully. And don’t forget - we metaphysicize, compare, so that the reader’s mouth waters. By the way, it should be noted here that the author is often outraged by the inattention of writers to female breast. No, you come up with something beautiful and original, not “swollen nipples” TM! In general, it seems that these same “swollen nipples” are the only indicator of arousal in a woman! Yes, it can manifest itself in different ways! Blush on the cheeks, perspiration, sparkle in the eyes, trembling, etc., etc.. “Swollen nipples,” damn it!.. Sorry. So what am I talking about? In a sex scene, you can show the appearance of the characters in all their glory. Just do it!
4. The smells, sounds, taste and touch of the characters are your friends. Give the reader 3D. This is so fashionable right now) The reader should see a three-dimensional picture in the bed scene, for greater identification, this is especially important. What does the skin feel like? What does she smell like? What does hair smell like? What do your lips taste like or what? What are the tactile, taste, sound parameters of the present moment? Immerse the reader. The description of tactile and taste sensations is often much more important than the physiological component itself.
Don't you watch erotic films yet? Then we go to you!
Yes Yes. And light porn is also possible, if you really want to write something bright and original, but you don’t know what to come up with, or you don’t have enough personal experience. In general, the most universal way to learn to write without redness of the skin, trembling hands and a hail of cold sweat at the collar is bed scenes, is a good old descriptive essay. Take the film. Look at the picture. And you describe it beautifully words. Yeah, it’s much easier to do this with a visual image in front of your eyes. Do you see where the hero put his hand? How did he trace along the heroine’s body? How did he throw his head back? How did the heroine hold her breath and her eyes open wider? WRITE! One, two, three scenes - and everything is fine.
You can also write stories where a beautiful, detailed sex scene is actually an end in itself. The author did this regularly. And now I wrote all this with a slight grin, although once, while describing the kiss, I almost hid under the table in shame.
Good luck and great works!
To determine the ten best descriptions bed scenes in fantastic literature. We will understand the word "bed" in in a broad sense, because events will take place on other planets and in virtual reality, under the starry sky and among the endless snow, which our heroes will try to melt with their feelings. However, let's start without much prelude.
10. So, in tenth place is an unforgettable scene from “Heretics of Dune,” the fifth part of Frank Herbert’s epic. When she is eight years old and he is ten, this is NOT pedophilia. And when several adults excitedly watch an act through a video camera, this is NOT voyeurism. People just consulted and decided that it was best to awaken the clone’s memories of his former life with the help of an orgasm. The experiment was a success, and the boy turned into a man even more dramatically than it happens in life: having remembered everything that happened before his death in the previous body, he became a junior high school student with the consciousness of an adult commander. Rare case when sex does not cloud your mind, but clears it up. For such practicality and a complete lack of eroticism, little sinners take only tenth place. The most interesting things are yet to come!
- What am I doing, what do you think? - She sat down next to him and put her hand on his penis.
His head jerked, he looked at her hand, feeling the onset of an erection.
- Why are you doing this?
- Do not you know?
- No!
- Bashar would know.
He looked at her face, coming close to him:
- You know! Why don't you tell me?
- I'm not your memory!
9. Second to last place in the top ten goes to Jeff Noon for his depiction of the joys and horrors of virtual sex. On the one hand, there are no consequences, everything is done as if for fun. On the other hand, in Virt you are not in complete control of the situation, as in a dream full of chimeras, where your girlfriend can turn into your father brandishing a sharp razor. And the Garden of Eden will turn out to be a personal nightmare for life. But this doesn’t scare avid riders. More precisely, it’s scary, of course, but so what? Well, the developers are deliberately inciting fear!
Electrical impulses control me, the room wallpaper turns red and pink, blood pours from the ceiling. Brid is hiding behind a small sofa. The Beatle grabbed Mandy from behind on the Turkish carpet.
The Thing from Outer Space spins through the air and lands softly on the dining table.
I wander through the swamp of flesh towards the kitchen door for breakfast oatmeal. Stepping over Beatle and Mandy, I see that the door is padlocked and bolted, and looks like a wall of beef.
Blood pours out of the keyhole.
8. Eighth place is taken by the duel on the members from the novel by Philip José Farmer “The Hidden Feast”. To be honest, this entire book can be considered one long sexual orgy: on the way to his beloved wife main character worries whether he is ready for this meeting. And he tests his physical fitness on everyone who comes under... well, let's say, the hand: women, men, animals and corpses. Do you happen to know what the perversion is called when you get an orgasm from the process of murder? But the hero of “The Hidden Feast” seems to have found a worthy partner (in every sense) - it turns out that you can also enjoy a mortal battle! Yes, the riskiness and looseness of the descriptions is shocking, and in some places (guess what?) even repulsive, despite the obvious carnivalesque and parody nature of the narrative.
The girl was full of strength and a little later she started all over again. This lasted until the first rays of dawn. I fell asleep for a while, and when I woke up, my penis was erect again. But already because I really wanted to urinate. A fly landed on the head of the penis, which had become hypersensitive to touch, which immediately caused an orgasm. The very first ejection of sperm drowned the fly in itself. This picture still stands before my eyes. Since flies have existed, this must be the first and only time one of them has died in this manner.
7. The sexual excesses of the previous paragraph are easily eclipsed by love under the stars from Vladimir Savchenko’s book “Position in the Universe.” At the same time enchanting and ordinary, earthly. And no less beautiful for that. Speaking without further ado, a couple of scientists, one of whom is a pretty woman, took advantage of the moment and the office equipment, turning on views for a romantic mood distant galaxies. Without interrupting our exploration of the world around us, we explore the world within us! This is what true professionalism means.
- No it's not that! “She got up, went to the remote control, and pressed a few keys. starry sky condensed into a galaxy - now the entire slanting vortex of billions of sparkling points was placed above the dome. Its light - weaker than daylight, but brighter than moonlight - magically poured onto Lucy’s naked, slender body.
Kornev looked and admired: no, this woman did not rise here from Earth - she descended from the Changing Universe. Condensed from the light of stars.
6. And again Philip Jose Farmer is with us with another orgiastic book with an intriguing title - “Flesh”! This time everything will be done without perversion, but on a much larger scale. Several men from our time find themselves in a dystopian future of the Earth, where matriarchy and pagan fertility cults flourish. One of the “aliens” is destined in this society to become an inseminating bull... That is, an elk. That is, a deity with horns, thanks to which he can stay in shape for a long time and delight thousands of girls in different cities every night. Science fiction begins at the moment when the main character has a desire to abandon this “sex mission” for the sake of one and only woman.
I want to take the city by surprise. I'll be there before they expect me! Let them tremble when the Great Stagg of all Staggs passes over them with a squall! I'll kill them all like a hurricane! This time it's not just virgins who will be mine! Now I won’t just take what is handed to me! Not just Miss America contestants! Today - the whole city!
Sylvia recoiled in horror.
- But, sir... that won’t do! From time immemorial...
- Am I the Sun Hero or not? Who is the Horned King here? I will do as I wish!
5. The second five winners are opened by the resourceful girl from Tanith Lee’s book “Silver Lover”. By giving your young body to a skilled robot, you yourself can get much more than from a soft-bodied man! The robot does not know fatigue, it does not need to sleep or eat, it cannot be in a bad mood, its only desire is to make its owner happy. He doesn't come home drunk, he can carry a girl in his arms all the time, he has a wonderful physique... And he is programmed to be ideal lover. And the fact that he doesn’t know how to love - wake up, but we ourselves know how?
“Perhaps,” I said, “you can do without my instructions?” A?
“Okay,” he agreed.
He pulled me into his arms. This is how a wave rolls away from the shore. Inexorably. Dizzying. The elasticity of the lips, their moisture - everything is like a person’s... only the sensations when kissing are completely different. Then he picked me up as if I weighed nothing and carried me into the elevator.
4. Fourth place is won by Viktor Pelevin with an erotic episode from Chapaev and Emptiness. No, no, this is not happening between two title characters novel! And between the loving Peter Void and the arrogant Anna. As you know, a woman loves with her ears... However, here too we will do without perversions! Anna simply orders her companion to continuously talk on psychological and philosophical topics during the entire performance. Thus, the banal description of the process is replaced by a chaotic and inspired monologue on a topic, however, adjacent to the act taking place. And even if it later turns out to be just a dream, I can hardly imagine a more intelligent erotic dream (or a more erotic intelligent dream).
- So, she gives ninety percent at the moment when you just see her, and the rest, for which the whole thousand-year bargaining takes place, is just a tiny remainder. And these first ninety percent cannot be decomposed into any component parts, because beauty is indefinable and indivisible, no matter what Schopenhauer lies. As for the other ten, it’s just a collection of nerve signals that would be worth nothing if imagination and memory didn’t come to their aid... Anna, please open your eyes for a second... like that... yes, exactly imagination and memory. You know, if I had to write a really strong erotic scene, I'd give a few hints and fill in the rest with vague conversation, something like...
3. He breathes languidly down his neck. silver medalist Ursula Le Guin with a single page from " Left hand darkness": about an earthling and an alien who were left alone in the middle of a snowy plain. I say "alien", although it would be just as correct to call him an alien, because this unearthly partner of the protagonist had signs of both sexes, which appeared in him alternately throughout life. The Earthman got used to treating him as a friend, and the moment of insight regarding his bisexuality is permeated with tenderness and sadness. There was never a physical relationship between them: the inhabitants of different planets decided not to rush headlong into the unknown, but tactfully keep their distance. But genuine the eroticism of these lines brings the writer a well-deserved bronze.
We were both silent for a while, and then he looked at me directly and tenderly. His face in the reddish light of the stove seemed as soft, vulnerable and distant as sometimes a woman’s face is when she suddenly looks at you, torn from her own thoughts, and remains silent. And then I saw again, and very clearly, what I had always been afraid to see in him, pretending that I simply did not notice it: he was as much a woman as a man. Any need to explain the reason for my sudden fear disappeared along with the fear itself; I finally had to just accept him for who he was.
2. Comfortably in second place is Robert Silverberg and a scene from his book “Up the Line”: the only night of Jud and Pulcheria with a slight touch of incest. Meeting a soul mate is happiness. But when she is also your distant great-great-great-grandmother - admit it, this is somewhat unusual. And the grandmother from the 12th century had a lot to learn from her advanced grandson! Yes, well, they have morals modern youth... And jokes aside, the author’s description of what happened turned out to be sincere and elegant, so he rightfully receives the silver.
I counted her breasts. Two. Pink nipples. With my fingers spread out, I measured her waist. Not a bad size. Then he ran his fingertips along his thighs. Magnificent thighs. I was delighted by the two deep dimples at the very bottom of her back.
She was both shy and relaxed - an excellent combination.
When I undressed, she saw the timer and touched it, began fiddling with it with her fingers, but did not ask what it was, but slid her fingers even lower. We collapsed on the bed together.
1. So, who will get the gold? I know you'll like it! The tireless Vladimir Savchenko with his truly cosmic sexual fantasies immediately moves from seventh place to first. The sublime love games of tikitakas from Gulliver's Fifth Travel are due to the fact that their bodies are transparent, although their structure does not differ from ordinary human ones. At night the spouses open air adjust the lenses of their bodies, and the husband becomes the eyepiece and the wife the lens. Sensing each other subtly, they look at the stars and planets, as if through an intimate telescope. This is considered real mutual understanding, as opposed to ordinary carnal relationships. And you must agree that there is nothing more erotic than real happy love.
In the morning I supplemented the poems about Aganita with the line: “Whose thighs are so pure and round that through them you can see the satellites of Mars.”
In the following nights, I detected the orbital periods of the satellites, and from them it is easy to calculate the orbits.
With this discovery we began our family star catalogue.
Describing a sex scene is, of course, not easy, and to some extent even risky. After all, if readers don’t like something about your "masterpiece", they will remind you, and more than once. There are two options here, either the sex scene may be well described, or, on the contrary, it may be very bad. Unfortunately, there is no third option here.
Let's close our eyes and imagine this situation: You are diligently going about your business, let it be reading interesting book, watching another movie, just listening to music, and other similar little things of interest, and then someone starts to bother you. I think that your emotions here are understandable. After all, you are being distracted, and this is unpleasant. But do you feel the touch of loved ones in this? No, you don’t even think about it, you just understand that they are trying to tear you away from your favorite activity. If you think about it, can you remember that your father’s hands were cold, since he had just recently come from the street, or the warm hands of your grandmother? Most likely not, because the touch of relatives is considered neutral in most cases.
But if you imagine that in the same situation a loved one touched you. How will you feel? Most likely, goosebumps run through your body, butterflies in your stomach, and a feeling of joy arises. Otherwise, we react differently than from the touch of relatives.
Another situation. If you are touched by a person whom you hate with all your heart. This could be a member of your family or just an acquaintance. Agree, you will involuntarily try to avoid this touch.
This is where the key to success lies. After all, the reader sits down to read similar story in order to plunge into the atmosphere, feel all the emotions that this or that character experiences. Therefore, the more detailed the emotions and feelings of the characters are conveyed, the more delight the reader will experience.
We should not forget about the failures when, guided by manuals and having well described the sequence of actions required for a sex scene (undress, lie on the bed, spread your legs, etc.), the author forgets about the characters of his characters. From here we get a whole piece of torn text from a work in which readers previously worried about emotions, characters, where they were happy happy moments, cried over the character's death. And then, instead of something “sweet,” they get bad taste.
Therefore, let's look at what we should remember when describing such scenes.
1. We remember the feelings, emotions, tastes of each character.
a) Relationship to another character. After all, you must admit that the same touch can bring both a wave of bliss and cause even more hostility (all this, of course, depends on who touched the hero, be it a loved one, an evil old woman or a playful kitten).
b) The mood of the hero. If the character is tired, then he has no time for such entertainment, he simply dreams of lying down in his soft bed and falling into a deep sleep.
c) Tastes, character. This will certainly leave a mark on the character’s behavior in bed.
d) Problems. If your character has someone seriously ill/died, or some great responsibility has fallen on his shoulders, then your hero will be concerned with solving these problems, and not with love pleasures, from which he is unlikely to receive satisfaction.
Therefore, there is no need to rush to describe a tender and delightful sex scene after the family of this character, let’s say, is dying or even died. Bad emotions will not disappear from the hero’s head so quickly. The maximum that your character can try to do is try to at least forget/get distracted for a while, and find support in a loved one.
2. Time.
Time- important point when describing sex scenes.
Here sex scenes work for the plot. If the characters decide to make love in front of the readers, then they should have a reason good reason. And this reason is a plot necessity. If there was sex, but nothing changed later, then this scene can be safely deleted. If you nevertheless found the very reason why the heroes decided to be satisfied with love pleasures, then we will move on to other options from which we will build. There are two of them:
a) There is enough time, there is no need to rush. The action can unfold in the following way, gradually: long foreplay, massage with all sorts of different oils, role-playing games, conversations, careful preparation: some special lubricants that will increase the sensitivity of the character, sex toys that turn sexual intercourse almost into a ritual, which will help your partner to relax more, feel needed and attention to himself.
b) There is little time, you should hurry. Perhaps relatives will return soon, or the character(s) are in a hurry somewhere, or your characters are making love in a crowded place where they can be found at any second, then they have at most five minutes to caress each other. Long and detailed description In this case, the sex scene, I consider inappropriate. It may cause at least misunderstanding in the reader.
3. Be careful, don’t overdo it.
Leisurely seduction can be more effective than sexual intercourse itself. It could be a glance, a casual touch. It is worth focusing on small details, this will make a big impression on the reader.
4. Don't forget about consistency.
If the characters’ relationships have previously been described in detailed detail, then the sexual act itself should be no different. If you haven’t spoiled your readers with a luxurious narrative, then you shouldn’t start.
5. Of course, the atmosphere, where would it be without it?
Atmosphere- however, this is a rather complex thing that even experienced authors may find difficult.
The atmosphere is influenced by everything: the place itself, its lighting, the mood of the characters and even the readers themselves. It can change back and forth and several times. There are several schemes for mood changes in a sex scene:
a) Gradual/increasing. In most cases, authors choose this one. Why? Agree, it’s convenient to describe all emotions and feelings gradually, from kissing to hard sex.
b) Fickle. It usually appears when the characters are in a quarrel or sorting things out among themselves, which in the process leads to a short but passionate sexual intercourse.
c) Violent. When one of the characters “pounces” on the other in order to satisfy his need, and the other resists, pushes the rapist away.
In conclusion, I want to say, believe in yourself, and you will definitely succeed!
I have read enough guides on writing sex scenes from a variety of authors to understand that they are all cunning, without giving away the main secret to the success of a sex scene. Basically, such articles describe the technique of the process, analyze the main poses in detail, give examples of successful and unsuccessful descriptions, and give some general recommendations.
This material is prohibited for reading by persons under the age of majority, it contains direct reference to the male and female reproductive organs and can cause a strong negative reaction. Be careful! 18+
Indeed, using one of these manuals, you can write a completely acceptable sex scene, but mmm... a monkey, if you beat it for a long time, can also be “taught” to type letters in the correct sequence. Only this work will be mechanical, and, accordingly, the result will be completely different from what the author would like to see.
So what's the deal? Why don't the manuals, which are detailed and thorough, with numerous examples and good techniques, help? What do experienced authors hide from readers?
At one time, I set out to write a porn novel, stuffed with sex scenes through... oh, no! All four hundred pages written in Word were one continuous continuous sex scene with a rating of sorts... NC-21. But what turned out to be more surprising for me personally, when I sat down to re-read the resulting masterpiece, not one of these scenes was repeated. Each was unique, had its own emotional coloring and conveyed a very specific sensual charge to the reader: from the most tender romance to dirty lustful passion, from the insight of timid hope to brutal violence, from the euphoria of long-awaited possession that overshadows all other feelings to the tart bitterness of an incestuous relationship.
This porn novel, which was subsequently destroyed (yes, authors are sometimes ashamed of what they write, I’m no exception), revealed to me the key to understanding the main secret to the success of a sex scene, which can be used by both beginners and seasoned authors. But before I name it, I would like to conduct a small experiment with you.
Close your eyes and mentally imagine next picture: you are at the computer, wearing headphones, greedily reading some interesting story, and then someone from your family starts bothering you. Your emotions are understandable. You get distracted and it's unpleasant. But do you feel the touch? No, you definitely understand that they are trying to tear you away from interesting activity that you are being pulled or shaken, but... do you yourself feel the touch of your loved one? Can you later remember that your mother's hands were a little damp because she had finished washing the dishes? Or that my brother's fingers were cold, because... did he come from the street five minutes ago? Most likely not, because the touches of relatives are mostly neutral for you: as if you were touching yourself.
Now imagine that in the same situation it was not a relative who touched you, but a dearly loved one. Immediately goosebumps will run through your body, your breathing will become a little uneven, your abdominal muscles may tighten, and you will feel a feeling of awkwardness or pleasant joy. In any case, you will react differently than from the touch of a relative.
And the situation will be completely different when a family member whom you fear or hate touches you. Well, mmm... someone like a stepfather, mother-in-law or a very evil grandmother. Involuntarily, you will try to get away from this touch, move away as much as possible, move away. Your reaction will be more severe. Your back muscles will tense, your lips will close together, you will frown and start drumming your fingers on the tabletop in irritation.
This, in my understanding, is the main key to success. The majority of the reader sits down to read an erotic story in order to plunge into the atmosphere, feel the emotions of the main character, and, as it were... mmm... live his life. And the more detailed and believably these emotions are conveyed, the more delight he experiences, as a rule. If the situation were reversed, I believe that instead of the darkness of erotic stories, readers would study the atlas on anatomy.
This is also the biggest failure when, guided by all sorts of manuals and having perfectly described the sequence of actions required for a bed scene (lie on the bed, spread your legs, insert a penis, etc.), the author completely forgets about all this mechanical work the characters of their heroes. In this case, we have a whole piece of text taken out of the general context of the work - a work in which previously readers experienced the slightest shades of feelings of the main characters, reveled in their touching affection or mind-numbing burning desire. And then... pppff! And instead of something sweet, they finally got something indigestible as an aftertaste.
Now, to summarize all of the above, I will give several recommendations taken from my own experience, based on which any author, even a beginner, in my opinion, will be able to cope with writing a sex scene:
1. Be aware of feelings
A character’s feelings/emotions/attitude largely depend on:
Relationship to the object (the same touch can give both a wave of bliss and a surge of acute indignation or hostility, depending on who touched the hero: a nasty hunched old woman, an imperious arrogant lord exuding discontent, or a playful puppy with black eyes - buttons),
Current mood (if the hero has previously spent the whole day in the saddle, then, having rolled off the horse - oh, alas! - he will dream of a soft bed and hot soup, because he is tired, hungry, his legs are numb, his back aches, etc. , but not about instant sexual adventure),
From gnawing problems (if someone died for the hero, or somewhere something didn’t work out the way he would like, or if the hero is burdened with guilt or responsibility, then mmm... most likely he will be so absorbed in his internal problems and troubles, which will stop paying attention to the surrounding reality, fall into apathy and perceive a sexual adventure without the proper enthusiasm),
From external circumstances (if a chase is sent after the characters and any hour and any minute may well be their last spent together, then, despite the inevitably present discomfort and accumulated fatigue, all the characters’ feelings will be heightened to the limit, so their closeness is most likely , will turn out to be feverishly convulsive, crumpled and insatiable: they will strive to have time to get enough of each other, dissolve in a partner or take some part of him for themselves... In this case, long preparations, a candlelit dinner, a bath with rose petals and champagne, relaxed languor and other romantic things will lose their relevance).
Therefore, there is no need to rush and write a delightfully tender and sensual sex scene immediately after the character’s entire family has died. Sad emotions will not disappear so quickly. Most likely, they will become dull and go through the entire bed scene with a slight tinge of bitterness and regret, an attempt to forget themselves, to find support in their partner.
2. Don’t betray your heroes
Each hero has his own (ideally unique) character, tastes and preferences, line of behavior, temperament, which will certainly leave their mark on his behavior in bed. If the character for 3/4 of the work was written as frivolous, eccentric, sarcastic and sharp-tongued, then in the end, when the moment of the sex scene has arrived, it is very sad to see how he turns into an automatic machine for inserting/removing a penis from the female body.
Where did all the causticity and insolence go? Where has competent trolling gone? Throughout 3/4 of the work, the partner only dreamed that this character would “shut up someday, because his jokes...”, and now, at a moment when even normal people nervous tension they involuntarily begin to giggle, our eccentric, sarcastic character obediently performs the mandatory program, read by the author in the relevant recommendations.
It's funny to you? I don't. Let me give you an example of a real bestseller. foreign literature- the book “Shantaram” by Gregory David Roberts, where jade rods and caves of voluptuousness were used to describe the sex scene, which, in my opinion, had little connection with the main character - a criminal who escaped from an Australian prison, a rebel and a mafioso.
3. Track the atmosphere of the scene
Atmosphere is a rather complex thing that can be too much for even experienced authors to handle. On the one hand, the atmosphere is influenced by everything (place, lighting, previous events, the mood of the characters, etc.), on the other hand, the atmosphere lives as if on its own, setting a certain impetus for the development of certain events. And the point here is not so much in the environment, but in the mood it creates - Attention! - from the reader.
This mood can change back and forth several times during one sex scene. But there are two general cases: the atmosphere is either under the author’s control and he changes/creates it purposefully, or the atmosphere exists on its own in isolation from the author.
What are the standard patterns of mood changes in a sex scene?
Gradually intensified, increasing (as a rule, most authors use it. So what? It’s very convenient and technical to describe all emotions in increasing increments: from a light kiss on the neck to hard sex with elements of violence),
Fickle, explosive, with a sharp change in emotions (usually used when partners quarrel or sort things out among themselves, which in the process of the next transition from one extreme to another leads to a short but passionate bed scene),
Roundabout, welcome back to starting point (classic example, when for the main characters a sex scene occurs for the first time and due to a lack of experience or some unresolved interpersonal conflicts, at some point the matter stalls, after which the characters have to somehow defuse the atmosphere, calm each other down and start all over again),
Descending (when we're talking about about violence in bed, which one of the partners did not count on. It seemed... it seemed like everything started out well (candles, flowers, etc.), but when it came directly to the insertion of the penis, the partner felt pain, or she changed her mind, or the partner offended her with some of his harsh remark, or he turned out to be pervert, etc.).
I would also like to especially note that there is a big difference between the way a sex scene is imagined in the author’s head and the way he embodied his idea on paper. Very often the first does not coincide with the second, and this becomes the reason why the atmosphere is lost. In such cases, expanded reader reviews, from them one can judge whether the original author’s message reached the reader or not.
4. Don't play hide and seek with time.
Timing is a very important point when writing a sex scene.
So, for example, if we have a bed made of silk, soft lighting, no need to get up after four hours, then the action can unfold before the reader gradually: long foreplay, massage, erotic games, ambiguous conversations, careful preparation, some special views lubricants that enhance sensuality, incense, smoking, turning sexual intercourse almost into a certain kind of sacred act in order to create the necessary atmosphere of reverent attention, necessity and importance for a woman, etc.
If the sex scene finds the heroes in a trench under enemy machine guns, then they have at most 3-5 minutes to caress each other in front of their faces possible death for both - exactly as much time as it takes the enemy to load a new machine gun belt into the machine gun. A long and careful writing of a sex scene in such a situation, in my opinion, will at least cause bewilderment in the reader.
But in addition to the structural logic, which is responsible for the appropriateness of the author’s chosen speed of unfolding the sex scene before the reader’s gaze, rhythm is also important. The manner of writing, speech patterns and sentence construction must - no, they simply must! - convey the smoothness or rapidity of a time process. Otherwise, the picture in the author’s head, his idea, will be conveyed to the reader in a highly distorted form: for the author, the entire scene will fly by in seconds, and the reader will have to sift through a dozen pages.
5. Don’t confuse the physical and the spiritual
How often have you come across erotic stories, in which a rape victim would melt with delight in the hands of a skilled rapist, huh? I think quite often, because this plot is one of the most popular. But only in works true masters In this plot direction, the emotions of the victim and the physical pleasure from the process are somehow separated.
How can I tell you... in general, there are several pitfalls here.
Firstly, physical pleasure itself may simply not arise in a person even with intimacy with a beloved partner, let alone a rapist.
Secondly, the occurrence of physical pleasure in itself does not mean anything. It is not so complete as to lead a person into ecstasy.
Thirdly, a person’s greatest pleasure from sex comes from his brain, which enhances physical pleasure tens and hundreds of times.
The brain acts as a kind of resonant circuit: it multiplies reactions from some physical influences, and cancels them out from others, causing the attenuation of pleasure. Therefore, it is unpleasant for us when a person we hate touches us, and vice versa, it is good when a loved one does it. The brain filters the information coming to it and displays the necessary flags - friend/foe, pleasant/unpleasant.
However, in addition to the brain, a person also has a soul. And this soul is vulnerable enough not to survive violence as such in principle. Otherwise there would not be so much fuss with the long-term rehabilitation of rape victims. The violence experienced literally breaks the human psyche, changing it irreversibly and often for the worse.
At the same time, nothing prevents the victim from experiencing physical pleasure during rape, but mmm... what does the soul feel? And what conclusions does the brain make from this? Where does the old personality disappear after this? All these questions cannot be answered by basing the human response on physical pleasure alone. How are we different from animals?
Therefore, it seems to me that when writing a sex scene, one should take into account both the physiological aspect (body reactions), the social aspect (brain signals), and the spiritual aspect (soul experiences). However, they may be in sufficient contradiction with each other that a plot conflict may arise.
For example, the Duchess loves her husband's trusted servant. With intimacy with her husband, her physiological and social aspects will be at their best, and the spiritual, on the contrary, will go into the minus, while with intimacy with a servant, the spiritual and physiological aspects will be at their best, and the social will go into the minus.
By taking into account the nuances described above and reflecting them in the sex scenes with the husband and with the servant, you can get two sex scenes that are completely different in sensuality and intensity.
6. Know when to stop
Not everything and not always needs to be written down, right down to the smallest details. Sometimes such detailing only harms the work.
Let me give you an example: “He peered for a long time into her green eyes, the colors of the first snowdrops that had just emerged after the winter, inwardly melting at how softly she hugged the silk with a V-neck pink dress her flat girlish breasts and two protruding pea-shaped nipples, which shone through so invitingly through the thin fabric, only fueled the awakened desire that spread in languid bliss in the lower abdomen.”
And now the question: is it so important for the reader to know at the moment described that the shirt had a V-neck? Does anything change if this definition is removed from this sentence?
In essence, no, it doesn’t change, and it doesn’t affect the general mood either. Then why? Why try to cram everything into one sentence at once, overloading the reader with information that is unnecessary to him at the moment?
The same thing happens when trying to paint a sex scene, going to every smallest step and describing it in every detail. So page after page drags on, and the characters don’t even get to the point of directly caressing the crotch. It’s good when the general mood is not lost and the author correctly builds up the atmosphere. But most often, somewhere in the middle, the reader forgets what was there at the beginning, and loses confidence in whether he is interested in knowing what awaits the heroes at the end.
Meanwhile, the proposals grow and swell, adding more and more details to the interior, the properties of fabrics, important facts from the biography of heroes, strategic plans for a palace coup, the number of servants with their occupation and specialization, the most likely reasons for the breakdown of the rim of carriages, geography kingdoms, etc.
The opposite situation is also critical, when phrases lack imagery, and the picture given by the author is so meager that it is impossible to imagine the characters in space. One inevitably gets the feeling that they love each other somewhere in a vacuum, outside of time and distance.
7. Watch out for epithets
IN in this case There are two nuances.
The first is identifying the basic things. If you called a member a member, and not flesh, not nature, not a penis, not a bolt, not a sausage, etc., then I think it’s not worth introducing a dozen other epithets as the main action unfolds. The reader will simply become confused in such alternative anatomy and, without understanding the great artistic design the author, will leave him offended.
The second is the different temperature of the epithets used, for which “tender”, like “chaste”, sounds quite innocent (cold), but “cheeky”, “burning”, “passionate”, like “lustful”, do not evoke anything at all. innocent associations (hot). Therefore, one of the authors’ skills lies in the correct sequential use of available epithets in order to create exactly the temperature atmosphere (cold-hot) that he originally planned for the sex scene.
As an example, if we are talking about an ascending atmosphere, then you should start with timid touches of lips, a fluttering heart (or eyelashes), soft velvet skin, smoothly moving to a ripe body, passionate curves, sensual kisses, and from them to ragged, ragged breathing , rhythmic thrusts, bitten lips, etc.
So, by playing with the alternation of temperature coloring of epithets, you can create any atmosphere. In this case, the temperature of the words is extremely important, because it is written in the text implicitly. Therefore, if you blurt out something very hot somewhere in the middle of a completely neutral scene, this will lead to bewilderment on the part of the reader and a feeling of dissonance when everything seems to be well written, but at the same time something is wrong.
8. Be aware of the situation
By this, I mean not only the physical environment as the immediate scene of action: walls, table, chair, bed, without which any work will inevitably lose part of its appeal, but also the social one.
It just so happens that not a single person becomes a person in isolation from society, so there will always and everywhere be prying eyes, rumors, gossip, and whispers. A typical mistake, in my opinion, is when the author introduces a character with bright distinctive features that sharply distinguish him from the general background, but at the same time forgets to give society’s reaction to him.
How, you ask, can this relate to the sex scene?
Let me give you an example of a hotel near the main highway. The partitions there will most likely be wooden, audibility is good, the travelers are tired, and now one secluded couple wakes up their neighbors in the middle of the night with voluptuous shouts. In our world, we knock such neighbors on the radiator or call the police. So why is everyone so tolerant and united in the imaginary world?
My explanation goes something like this: the authors of erotic stories are so obsessed with the rising atmosphere that sometimes they are simply afraid to the point of panicky stomach cramps to interrupt it with a polite knock on the door, say, of a mountain troll asking them to squeeze each other a little more quietly, otherwise he will here my fists itch and in general. ^__^
Such a concentration on the feelings of the main characters for each other, of course, justifies itself: a sensual charge is transferred to the readers, they blush, turn pale, turn to stone and others “eat” - but mmm... where is the highlight?
But it is she who elevates the text from a craft (the author knows how to write sex scenes, and we see this) to a creative breakthrough (the sex scenes written by the author are not forgotten, you want to return to them again and again), when the required number of sex scenes have already been written, until the author “I was getting my teeth into it” and it turned into quality.
I still remember the erotic scene from Ray Bradbury’s story “The Secret of Wisdom,” because I was deeply struck by the simplicity with which the author was able to create an incredibly vivid erotic scene visible in all details. The maestro wrote that the boy’s mouth smelled like a freshly chewed stalk of grass, which had a sweet, fragrant aroma, and my brain immediately built a whole picture of the village with its fields, cows, landscapes, smells, the chirping of insects and so on.
So one small touch - one detail that was insignificant at first glance - was able to evoke a whole storm of feelings in my soul. I still keep this scene in my head and, frankly, I draw inspiration from it.
9. Reflect the main idea
Sex does not always reflect the disposition and love of partners for each other. With the help of a bed scene, you can express a lot of different feelings and situations: mutual cooling towards each other, indifference of one of the partners, hatred for each other, pushing the heroes into the same bed, the bitterness of loss, when it doesn’t matter who owns the heroine, as long as he has , just to warm with its warmth, humiliation and submission, fear of one towards another, etc.
A true master is able to describe equally well both everyday fucking and that special night that can happen 1-2 times in a life - no more. In this case, everyday fucking will look like just everyday fucking, and that very unique night will look like that very unique night. Because with the help of intimacy, when human souls are naked in the same way as their bodies, you can dot all the i’s, because in such a situation the character has nowhere to hide from himself. And even if he plays here, masterfully depicting passion, this is also visible and is completely reflected in the author’s letter.
So, in a good way, the main idea should be defined in advance. “What do you need to show with this intimacy?” - this is the question that you should ask yourself before writing another sex scene.
10. Believe in yourself
Amazing, right? You need to believe in yourself. After all, it so often happens that, after reading a story, we note to ourselves: “What a bed scene!”, “What a talent this author is,” “I will never be able to write anything like that...”, etc. . Of course, at first it always happens that, having exhausted ourselves with at most 2-3 sentences in 1.5-2 hours, we give up and give up on the text. Moreover, there are a lot of other stories around, where everything is described better, more beautiful, and sexier... well, in general, in no way comparable to our three sentences.
Now is the time to remember point number 1 and the preface. Your story won't be that good in beautiful words or correctly constructed phrases (words and letters - they are the same for everyone), but with your feelings, i.e. with what you and only you can put on paper, with your experience, with your feelings, with your attitude towards life.
If it were possible to write a sex scene perfectly, then mmm... the ancient Greeks would have done it before us. But bed scenes, like erotic stories, are written every day by the hundreds. So why?
Because feelings do not become obsolete and never disappear without a trace. And, if your heroes are asking to be written, then you need to give them a chance. Who knows, a couple of years will pass, your skill will grow, and then you will be able to edit what has already been written, but if you don’t write anything, everything will be forgotten: the feelings, the characters, and you yourself at this age.
In conclusion, I would like to say that all the recommendations described above are purely advisory in nature. They helped me write better. I hope it will help you too.
Hello! I’m here again, again with you, again with an article, in general, everything is as always. Nothing has changed much since the previous article, only the topic is new.
What is today's topic? Let me explain. I have often seen works where, in addition to the plot, there was love line. Or there was a plot besides the love line. Or... Okay, I think you get the point. And sooner or later, this very love affair led to the inevitable - to a bed scene. The main characters passionately loved each other on the bed/table/floor/chandelier (underline as appropriate), while the author chewed on a pencil/pen/keyboard, wondering how to describe this process.
Actually, this is what my article will be about. So let's get started!
“And he brought his train into his black tunnel...”, or a few words about speech and anatomy
I won’t talk about what you need to roughly imagine, what goes where and where: this is repeated too often, I think everyone who reads this kind of article has long been familiar with the unfortunate anatomy. It will be more about whether these anatomical details are appropriate when describing sexual intercourse. And whether the opposite is appropriate is what you can admire in the title of this unfortunate section.
It all depends on what genres slash is combined with. This is such a genre that there is no such spherical purely slasher work in a vacuum. When combined with the Fantasy genre, some abuse of beautiful phrases may be quite appropriate, but medical terms will scare and make fun of most readers. Not because they are funny in themselves, but because they are out of place. Try to look at the style of your work. If you have not disdained modern and scientific words before, then “member”, “prostate” and so on from general series will not be knocked out.
The exaggerated “dandelion stalks dripping milk of pleasure” can also be useful in humor or banter. Or in psychedelics. Just because these turns seem so absurd, they don't become bad. They are bad when they are included in a text that does not match the style. Well, you must admit, it’s strange to read a beautiful, atmospheric fantasy, and then with a poker face about the scrotum, urethra and ejaculation.
What can you recommend specifically regarding style? Here, each author already has his own. The main thing is to remember to make sure that your sex scene does not stand out from the rest of the story, looks organic in it, and not like a nail sticking out in the middle of a board, but not hammered in.
Although, perhaps, I’ll still note: try not to pile up words like “Mind-blowing, unreal, amazing.” The more often you repeat a word, the less the effect produced. One description is better than ten if they repeat the same thing. Once they wrote that he felt simply amazing - and that’s enough, no more. It’s better to focus on the details: one random forehead bump during an unsuccessful kiss sometimes looks more real and erotic than a hundred common epithets.
The descriptions themselves
Don't be afraid to describe what is happening, be bolder! If you have already taken on a sex scene, justify the rating. As they say, it’s too late to drink Borjomi... Okay, we’re not talking about Borjomi. And about the descriptions.
There are two extremes here. The first is a complete lack of description of the external and a continuous, overflowing description of actions. It looks like this in an example:
John pulled Sam towards him and kissed him, then threw him onto the bed and began to undress him. Sam then smiled and rolled over onto his stomach. John began to gently stretch him, after which he entered inside and after a couple of thrusts he came. Sam came next and shouted out his lover's name.
And it wasn’t John who was the favorite, ahem, sorry, I got carried away by the example. It is very unlikely that such text will evoke emotions. No, the sequence of actions is followed here - no alternative anatomy, the picture is clear... But I personally imagine two mannequins, on one of which hangs a sign “John”, on the other - “Sam”. Mannequin John and mannequin Sam show the correct sequence of actions during lovemaking. A kind of video lesson “Homosexual intercourse for the little ones,” forgive me for such cruel humor.
What's wrong with this extreme? The fact that it is informative, but does not carry anything other than information. After reading something like this, the reader will most likely say: “They had sex. And what?"
This “So what?” should not arise. Don’t be afraid to describe how the same John bit his lip, closed his eyes, licked his lips - and what those same lips are like. Wet or dry, swollen and reddened or, conversely, pale... Yes, the text will be a little more loaded, but it is precisely such details that make the reader immerse themselves in what is happening, and not just read and forget.
It is appropriate to describe thoughts and fantasies. Perhaps a certain amount of comparisons: the characters’ associations do not fall off during the sex scene. But there is a danger of going to the second extreme, which looks like this:
John kissed Sam and then looked at him as he undressed him. How beautiful his beloved was! This slightly tanned skin reminded him of his recent trip to Italy, where they spent the most wonderful days of their lives. They swam, sunbathed, went on excursions around different cities and took a lot of different photos. One of these photographs now stood on the desk opposite. Sam in the photograph was trying to cover his face with his hand: he never liked to be photographed, and that time John had difficulty capturing him against the backdrop of St. Peter's Cathedral...
... Do you still remember that they have sex there?
I think the problem with this extreme is also visible to you: an excess of descriptions that are not related to the erotic scene. This happens in two cases: either the author got carried away and decided to write about their trip to the Vatican to spite the poor Pope, or the author forgot that he was not writing a term paper and it is not necessary to fill pages with extra text. In the end, no one will eat you if the sex scene is a little shorter, but you will be describing the scene itself, and not the photo on the table and the carpet on the wall. What will this roughly look like? Something like this:
John pulled Sam towards him, kissing him hungrily. His lover immediately grabbed his hair, slightly pulling his head back and trying to take the initiative. Unbuttoning his beloved's shirt, John ran his nails over his chest, watching how his slightly tanned skin turned red.
Okay, I won’t write out a twenty-line example - I think you get the gist. There should be a description, but it should relate to the sex scene itself. If there is a gun hanging on the wall, then it should fire, and if a photograph flashes in a sex scene, it means they are jerking off to it or it was accidentally brushed onto the floor, knocking someone over onto the table. Or the nervous guy thought it would be a good idea to turn the photo over - otherwise the person depicted on it would be staring at how they were making love. Although, if I were the lover of such a guy, I would be wary of whether the poor fellow has a persecution mania, but heroes are different. Suddenly there will be one like this.
About the characters' personalities
Sudden, isn't it? Although okay, who am I kidding – a very expected point. This is one of the most common mistakes - when in a sex scene the characters are confused and don’t know what to do, and the almighty author fits them into one Procrustean Bed of the world yaoi standard. Let's take the same abstract John and Sam as objects for analysis. So, our John is a “bangs, piercings, tight pants” type of guy. He is sometimes melancholic, but quite emotional and easily succumbs to impulses of emotion. Sexual experience - they don’t live that long. Enthusiastic about intimate side life and happy to give pleasure to my partner. And Sam is a simple, moderately shy guy of the “botanical flower” type, glasses, no muscles, forever a virgin until he meets John. So... Imagine that you are reading about this couple. And then it begins...
John glanced in surprise at the closed door of the room:
- Sam, did you want to talk?
Instead of answering, the beloved sat on John’s hips, insolently fidgeting and licking himself lecherously:
- Come on, fuck me, I know you want...
Here is one of three things: either Sam has a split personality, or, as in Brazilian TV series, he has an evil twin brother abandoned in infancy, or the character of the characters is not consistent with the author. Let's assume that in our case it is the latter.
Remember when going to new stage relationships, your heroes do not immediately become different people with a different psychology. No, an unexpected transition is possible - a confident macho may turn out to be a virgin when tested and feel shy, but there is a very high risk of precipitation like tomatoes and slippers. It is necessary to throw at least some traces of uncertainty into the previous text, so that the reader has the opportunity to at least briefly think: “What if he is not so macho?” Then in the bed scene everything will be organic.
But if the hero is Everyday life did not show an easy and slightly curious attitude towards the sexual side of life, he is unlikely to run even to his loved one with a cry: “Let’s go and fuck!” Heroes are still people (or elves, or gnomes, or vampires, or demons, or aquarium fish - to each their own), they have character. Don't change it in the sex scene. Don’t be afraid to describe how a joker tried to make an awkward joke, or how a shy young man blushed and asked: “Or maybe we shouldn’t?”, or how a rude punk swore from the buzz... In general, remember: your heroes are people, not abstract models .
“Today I’m on top, and tomorrow you’re on top”
Due to the huge number of yaoi anime, a division has arisen into “seme” (active) and “uke” (passive). But then, deciding that it was necessary to be original, someone decided: “Let them change places every Monday!”
These people are partly right: a couple of two men is not a parody of a heterosexual couple; men most often do not have clear roles in the spirit of: “You’re from below - into the kitchen, woman!” and “You’re on top - provide for your family, man!” If the guy is below, he is not necessarily a cutesy mummer and snot. If the guy is on top, he is not necessarily a tough guy.
In an amicable way, I’ll reveal a terrible secret, the question “Above or below” is purely a matter of the personal tastes of the couple. Some people enjoy being in any position (even in position 69 on a sacred chandelier), as long as it is with their loved one. Some people like to be fucked doggy style, on all fours, and prefer to be on the bottom. But this is not at all a matter of life and death, as they like to position it: if from below, it means that you are passive with everyone and everywhere, if from above, you will not let anyone near your royal butt and will fuck all those who attempt to do so for their insolence.
The question of “from above or from below” is quite solvable for most couples at the level of those same tastes. But not in such a way that the passive begins to think “Oh, I was fucked, I am morally humiliated and subordinate!” IN loving couple Such thoughts are unlikely to arise, and if they do arise, they are quickly cured by a simple open conversation. Men generally do not like to endure inconvenience - if they don’t like something, they will most likely prefer to say so directly, rather than sit in the corner and sulk. My sisters, girls, do not be offended.
What to do and why this point? Besides, there is no need to focus the question on the “asset-liability” topic. This is not a physiological necessity (with rare exceptions). Passives are not born with a penis smaller than a finger, and assets have an anus that is not sewn up. If they don’t change their position and are used to having one on top and the other on bottom, it only means that it’s more pleasant for them, and not that one of them is a girl.
Transferring someone else’s “personal experience” to work
Now I’m writing about those cases when a girl (let’s not prevaricate – slash is mostly written by girls, I’m one of them) tries to find the necessary information on the Internet. Let's assume she honestly approached the study of anatomy and other necessary things, that's just the problem... Young men gay Those who decide to “enlighten” the unreasonable most often believe that if it was like this for them, then it cannot be any other way. And the poor girl is confused in her testimony: one writes that it definitely hurts the first time, the other - that if the partner is experienced and there is lubrication, then there is only discomfort, and not hellish pain. One writes that if you do not caress the passive member, then he will never cum, the second - that there is no need to jerk off at all, because it “distracts” from the main sensations.
What to do about it? Apply someone else's personal experience» in doses so that no contradictions arise. Try to be more careful with these “hundred pounds of truthful” articles written by “one hundred percent” gays. Even if the article was indeed written by a guy, this does not mean that his personal experience is an immutable truth. In no way am I trying to offend anyone and I hope that this advice will not be understood as: “Forget about this advice from experienced people!” Don't score. You just don’t need to follow them unquestioningly: remember, it happens in different ways, and not just as one person described. Is this not evidenced by the contradictions in this kind of works belonging to different authors?
Conclusion
So my article has come to an end. Dear readers, love, be loved and allow your heroes to find happiness: do not make dummies out of them. Let them love each other too, without losing their face.
Best wishes to you. And good luck in your creativity!
