How happiness and love are connected. What is love: stages, love and passion, facts

Anyone who has found joy, let him share it with someone else; happiness was born in a couple. Lord Byron

Two leading positive psychologists, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, studied “very happy people” and compared them with those who were less happy. And it turned out that the only external factor that distinguishes one group from another is having “deep and satisfying relationships with other people” " Spending time with friends, family, or romantic partners is necessary (though not in itself sufficient) for happiness.

When we have people whom we care about and who care about us - people who live the same life with us, share our thoughts and feelings - this helps us to more acutely feel the meaning of our existence, consoles us in sorrows and suffering, strengthens us. We have a feeling of admiration for the beauty of this world. As the seventeenth-century philosopher Francis Bacon said, close friendship “doubles the joys and halves the sorrows.” Without friendship, writes Aristotle, no happiness is possible.

Actually, from the point of view of happiness, any human relationship is very important, but love here is still beyond competition. Summarizing the sociological research on the problem of spiritual well-being and happiness, David Myers frankly admits that “ there is no surer guarantee of happiness than close, full of tenderness and care, equal, intimate, companionate relationships with your best friend throughout your life " No other topic is written about (in poetry, fiction, and nonfiction) or talked about (in cafes, in schools, on the Internet, or on a psychoanalyst's couch) as much as about romantic love—the passionate attachment between two human beings. . And no other topic gives rise to so many misunderstandings and disputes.

Question: Think about the people closest to you. Do you spend as much time with them as you want? And if not, is there any way you can change it?

Love me just like that. Unconditional love.

When we talk about love simply as a feeling or emotion, as a state of mind that has no motives, this is a clear simplification. Love cannot last indefinitely without any rational reason: just as positive emotions alone are not enough for lasting happiness (a hedonist will never know what happiness is, because his life is meaningless), in the same way, strong feelings alone, in itself is not enough to experience love. When a man falls in love with a woman, he does so for certain conscious or unconscious reasons. He may feel that he loves her only “because she is she,” without really understanding what he means by this; if you ask him to clearly articulate why he loves her, he will most likely answer: “I don’t know, I just love her.”

We are taught that when we fall in love with someone, we are guided by the heart, not the mind, that love, by definition, is something inexplicable, mystical, without any rational basis. However, if what we feel is truly love, it is probably due to some reasons. These reasons are sometimes unconscious, that is, inaccessible to our consciousness, and yet they exist.

But if we need some real reasons to love someone, if we only fall in love under certain conditions, could there be such a thing as unconditional love? Or is the very idea of unconditional love fundamentally irrational and groundless? It depends on whether the character traits we love in a person are manifestations of the core of his personality.

Core personality

The core of personality includes the most fundamental and enduring features of our self—our character. This also includes the real principles by which we live, which are not necessarily identical to the principles by which we are guided in words. Since we do not have the opportunity to observe the core of personality directly, we can know a person’s character only through his manifestations, through the analysis of human behavior, since it is observable from the outside.

Suppose a woman—sensitive, diligent, patient, and enthusiastic, because the very core of her personality contains these traits—institutes a correctional program for underprivileged children. The success or failure of this program depends entirely on countless external factors that have nothing to do with the personal qualities of the woman; after all, she took up the work motivated by inner character traits that are part of the core of her personality. This woman's behavior (the fact that she took on this program) reflects the core of her personality, while the result of her behavior (the success or failure of the program) reflects nothing. If one loved this woman unconditionally, he would certainly be happy at the success of the program and sad at its failure; but in neither case would his feelings for the woman herself have changed in any way, because the core of her personality remained unchanged.

When we are loved for wealth, fame or power, we are loved conditionally; when we are loved for constancy, strength of feelings or warmth, we are loved unconditionally.

Question : What character traits form the core of your personality?

Circle of happiness

Psychologist Donald W. Winnicott was the first to draw attention to the fact that children who play in close proximity to their mothers demonstrate higher levels of intelligence in their games than children who play at a greater distance from their mother. Children are highly creative as long as they stay within a certain
radius from their mothers, inside, so to speak, the circle of creativity. The circle of creativity is a place where children have the opportunity to take risks and experiment, to fall and get up again, to fail and to succeed because they feel safe and secure in the presence of someone who loves them unconditionally.

Because adults are capable of higher levels of abstraction than children, we do not need to always be physically close to our loved ones in order to remain within our creative circle. When we know that we are loved unconditionally, we are psychologically in a safe and secure place.

Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness for us, where we are supported in our pursuit of activities that provide us with meaning and pleasure. We are free to indulge our passions - whether it be painting, banking, teaching or gardening - regardless of the prestige or success of our enterprises. Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy marriage.

If someone truly loves me, he or she will want more than anything to see me express the core of my personality to the fullest and exhibit the qualities that make me who I am.

Meaning and pleasure in love

While unconditional love is essential for a happy relationship, love alone is not enough. In human relationships - just as in learning and work - happiness cannot last long if marriage is not a source of meaning and pleasure, present and future good.

Couples who get together primarily for some future benefit - for example, because marriage will help them move up the social ladder or improve their social position - are typical "rats", participants in the rat race. The same can be said about couples who work hard and spend very little time with each other on the grounds that they do it for the sake of the family - to ensure a comfortable and happy future together. Indeed, sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice immediate benefits in order to achieve certain goals in the future, but if you live too long only for the sake of the future, this will ultimately lead to the collapse of relationships.

The other extreme is the hedonist who starts a family solely for his own pleasure, and his attitude towards it is based mainly on how much joy he gets from the family. Since the hedonist confuses pleasure with happiness, he also confuses carnal pleasure with love in a love relationship. However, the pleasures of a hedonist very quickly fade and lose all interest for him, because if the relationship does not have any significant basis, containing something more than the immediate satisfaction of desires, it is impossible to experience happiness.

And the nihilist? Perhaps he decided to get married because it was the “right thing” or because all his friends were doing it. He expects nothing from marriage and receives nothing from it, but simply floats with the flow side by side with his partner - without a goal and without happiness.

Question : Remember your past friendship or love. Which sector would you put her in? Has the very nature of this relationship changed over time?

It is important that you are known and understood, and not just told that you are good

In the United States alone, approximately 40% of marriages end in divorce; This statistic does not bode well for our ability to maintain long-term loving relationships, especially considering that the 60% of couples who stay together are not necessarily happily married. Are these statistics evidence that we are not designed for long-term monogamous relationships? Not at all. At least no more than depression statistics suggest that we are doomed to an unhappy life.

Sometimes it’s really best to get a divorce - after all, not all couples are psychologically compatible, and not everyone can smooth out their contradictions, however very often the cause of divorce is rooted in an initial misunderstanding of what love is and what it entails. Many people confuse simple sexual desire (lust, lust) with true love. But while sexual desire is necessary for romantic love, it is clearly not enough on its own. A marriage based primarily on lust will not last long. No matter how “objectively” attractive a partner is or how strong a “subjective” attraction exists between partners, the initial arousal wears off and the simple physical attraction inevitably fades. Novelty excites our feelings, “the exotic becomes erotic” - and vice versa, if you live with a partner for some time, he becomes too familiar, “one of our own.”

But while intimacy can sometimes weaken physical attraction, getting very close to a partner, truly getting to know them, takes a couple to a higher level of intimacy - which means their love becomes stronger and their sex gets better and better.

In his book The Passionate Marriage, renowned sex therapist David Schnarch challenges the conventional wisdom that sex and passion can be reduced to basic biological impulses. If sex really was all about that, we would have little hope of maintaining passionate love for each other for long. However, over decades of working with couples, Schnarch has convincingly demonstrated that sex can get better and better if we make every effort to get to know our partner better and let him get to know us better.

As Schnarch suggests, if we want to achieve true intimacy in relationships with each other, we need to shift the center of gravity - Instead of craving approval and praise, we want our partner to get to know us better l . In order for love and passion in a marriage to grow stronger over time, both partners must be willing and ready for the other party to know their secrets - and this means gradually revealing the very core of their inner selves - their desires, fears, fantasies, dreams, even when they do not show you in the most favorable light. Over the years, spouses become more and more deeply imbued with each other's moral principles, passions, fears and hopes, and they develop an increasingly detailed map of the inner world of their partners.

The process of recognizing another person, as well as the process of learning ourselves by another person, can continue indefinitely, because there is always something in which one can open up to another and what can be discovered in him. And therefore, it is much easier to maintain the exciting novelty, excitement and freshness of the relationship. Whatever we do when we are together - chatting over coffee, playing with the kids, or making love - our intimacy will be a much richer source of meaning and pleasure if, instead of trying to extract words of approval from our partner, we try better than him. find out and let him get to know us better.

Question : Think about ways you could help your partner get to know you better. Think about ways you could get to know your partner better.

Develop relationships rather than look for new love

Many people truly believe that the secret to a successful marriage is finding your soulmate. In reality, however, the most important and most time-consuming part of happiness in love is not at all in finding the one who is meant to be our husband or wife (I do not believe that each of us is destined for one and only one half), but rather in that constantly maintain, develop and improve relationships with the only person we once chose.

The misconception that causes us to believe that finding love is more important than nurturing it in our hearts can be at least partially attributed to the magic of cinema. There are a lot of movies about the search for love, about the trials and tribulations that two people go through until they find each other. At the end of the film, the lovers share a passionate kiss and live happily ever after, or so we just think. The problem is that movies end exactly where love begins. Meanwhile, the most difficult thing - to live happily ever after - comes after; problems and difficulties often arise when the sunsets fade and the nightingales sing.

We are mistaken when we believe that love itself - if only we can find it - guarantees us eternal happiness; Because of this misconception, partners do not attach due importance to those small and large everyday incidents, actions and events that precisely shape the relationship in marriage. Would anyone in their right mind and good memory argue that since he found a job or got the profession he dreamed of, he can now rest on his laurels? Such an approach would inevitably lead to a monumental failure. The same can be said about relationships in marriage: the real, hard work begins after we fall in love. In the context of marriage, the hardest work is bonding and intimacy.

We achieve greater intimacy in relationships when we get to know our partner better and allow them to get to know us better. Subsequently, relying on your knowledge of each other, this intimacy can be further deepened - To do this, it is enough just to do something together that is a source of meaning and pleasure for both of us. Over time, as we get to know each other better and spend enough time doing things together that we both enjoy, we will build a strong foundation for our relationship that can withstand the inevitable storms of life, and prepare fertile soil on which our love and happiness will blossom. .

based on the book by Tal Ben-Shahar: Learning to be Happy
Also more links from the book:

Ph.D
TAL BEN-SHAHAR
- one of the best teachers
Harvard University.
Programs with his participation
broadcast on TV channels
CNN and CBS
and his articles are published
in the New York Times newspapers
and the Boston Globe.
His training course
1500 people attend per semester.

International Day of Happiness

In 2012, the UN declared March 20 as the International Day of Happiness to support the idea that the pursuit of happiness is a common feeling for all people on our planet. According to the founders of the Day, the holiday is intended to show that happiness is one of the main goals of humanity. In this regard, the founders call on all countries to focus their efforts on improving the well-being of every person. And the UN invites all member states, international and regional organizations, as well as civil society, including non-governmental organizations and individuals, to mark the International Day of Happiness in an appropriate manner, including through educational activities.
The initiative to establish the International Day of Happiness came from a small mountainous country - Bhutan. It is believed that the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Bhutan are the happiest people in the world - champions of the Gross National Happiness Index, which measures the national well-being of citizens. The very concept of the Gross National Happiness Coefficient was introduced and cultivated by the fourth king of Bhutan and became one of the concepts of the country’s unofficial state philosophy.
To reflect the well-being of people and the state of the environment in different countries of the world, the International Happiness Index (Happy Planet Index) was introduced in July 2006.

What is happiness?

We ourselves have divided the mind into three parts,
We are upset, we live with worries,
We are used to seeing Happiness only in the back,
And now we don’t recognize His face.
© Georgy Boreev

The problem with human happiness is that we do not always understand what happiness is. Our happiness is based, as a rule, on success: I am happy if I get what I wanted, and vice versa, I am unhappy if I don’t get it. This is conditional happiness.
We often become convinced that our happiness can come only through the possession of something, can only be achieved at the expense of someone else. Often self-indulgence seems to us to be happiness. And if this is not the case, we conclude that there is no happiness. On the other hand, those who satisfy their ego to the maximum are also unhappy and dissatisfied with life, because true happiness does not lie in this.
Happiness is a special high state of soaring, joy, love, light. But sometimes people confuse this heavenly state with pleasures and pleasures. This is not the same thing, but even very different.
When a person is truly happy, he becomes like a bird: it’s as if his wings grow and he soars above the ground, and his heart is filled with boundless joy. I want to distribute this joy to all people, so that everyone is joyful and happy.
It is absolutely impossible to lose happiness. We can only lose what does not really belong to us. People feel unhappy because they have something that they will sooner or later lose. They know this and spend all their strength trying to hold on to what does not belong to them, and everything material does not belong to them. All their lives they live in fear of losing something that is not theirs.
Happiness is a state that we cannot enter if we are dependent on fears. The main fear of a person is the fear of losing. In earthly life we can lose almost everything, including our life (earthly existence in this incarnation).
So what is it that a person cannot lose?
But he cannot lose the feeling of his Divinity, the feeling of himself as a part of God the Creator. This means that in order to enter the State of true Happiness, a person needs to reveal his Divinity, which is expressed in unconditional Love and selfless service for the benefit of all humanity.

Vedic formula for human happiness:
- Fulfill your purpose.
- Do it with love.
- Do not get attached to the result (to the goal).

Have you noticed that this formula does not include the influence of other people? This means that our happiness depends on ourselves. Therefore, there is nowhere to wait for him.
There is only one true way to be happy - to love. Unconditional Love coming from you is the only path to happiness.

The Law of Giving To love means to give a part of yourself, without payment or reservations. If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it. And the more you give, the more you receive. Love is like a boomerang, it always comes back. It may not always be from the person to whom you gave it, but it will still come back to you. And it will return a hundredfold. At the same time, it is important to remember that we have an unlimited supply of love. We don't lose it when we give it.
And the only way to lose the love within us is to not give it to others.
One of the reasons why people rarely experience love is because they wait for someone else to love them first. But it's like a musician who says, "I'll only play music when people start dancing." Or wait for warmth from the fire without putting wood there.
True love is unconditional and asks for nothing in return. She does not tolerate barter.
The secret formula for a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus not on what you can take, but on what you can give.

Happiness only happens “here and now”

Many are convinced that to find happiness they must save the world. This is an error of perception. If they don't find happiness themselves first, the world is doomed. This may be hard for you to hear, but it's true. Until you feel happy now, you will not find happiness in the future. So if you are unhappy now, then don’t even try to think about happiness in the future, but direct all your attention to the present moment. This is where your happiness is.
We can only be happy in the present moment, so we need to learn to be happy with what we have at the moment.
The ability to be present in the present moment, to be attentive to it, is an art necessary for a deeper revelation of the state of happiness.

Someone thinks that true happiness is somewhere behind the mountains, behind the oceans, deserts, where you need to go long and painfully, overcoming adversity and obstacles. But the truth is that there is no need to go anywhere. Your happiness is not somewhere out there, far away, beyond the horizon - it is in you, and it has always been with you. Just to discover this simple truth, you need to hit so many bumps, wander so much around Mother Earth, drink more than one cup of losses, disappointments and falls.
Without leaving your place, you can find yourself in a wonderful land of light and joy, without listening to anyone's advice - you can find yourself, without following anyone's example, you can meet yourself.
And this is a true miracle that can happen to anyone!

Even in a garbage dump you can see something good and beautiful, for example a flower that has made its way to the sun through a pile of dirt. The only question is what are you looking at: garbage and dirt or a flower.
My opinion! - This is the source of my happiness and my misfortune.
My happiness does not depend on adding something else to life, but on what my attention is directed and focused on.

There is no need to wait for a bright future.
If I see gloom in everything, then all days are a continuous, single, gloomy day. If today, having transformed my vision, I direct it to a joyful one, then the bright future has already come, has arrived today.
Don’t look at the calendar, don’t study your horoscope, thinking that after so many days or years, good luck and happiness will come to you. Meanwhile, every day you will live sadly, gloomily and hopelessly. You should not wait for tomorrow, but become happy and joyful today. Today you need to join the bright stream of life and so that it flows not from the outside, but through you, through your Heart.
Joy, happiness, beauty are spilled in the endless ocean around us, and each of us is in the very center of this holiday, you just need to open your eyes to discover it!

Happiness is the dissolution of the ego

Happiness is a threat, and suffering is security - security for the ego. The ego can only exist in and through suffering. The ego is an island surrounded by hell; happiness threatens the ego, the very existence of the ego. Happiness rises like the sun and the ego disappears, evaporates like dew on a blade of grass.
Overcoming the ego is an important part of life itself. But overcoming the ego is not possible for everyone, but because a person seeks happiness in money and material wealth, experiences a passion for money, attachment to money, but if (when) he achieves material wealth, he feels spiritual and mental insufficiency. A wise person would not seek happiness in money; one who seeks such is petty, no matter what position he holds.
A person can go far in search of material happiness and not find it and be left with nothing. So that the ego does not control a person and does not overshadow his consciousness, one must gradually renounce (purify) it and the consciousness will be pure. If you begin to gradually renounce the ego, then, after a while, you can realize and feel how it decreases, and then completely disappears and dissolves. But a person who is going to practice renunciation of the ego must initially be ready for change and for filling the future emptiness with love.

There are millions of forms of expressing happiness, but there is only one true way to be happy - to love. Unconditional Love coming from you is the only way to happiness.
Before loving someone, any person must learn to love himself and accept his entire being.
The source of eternal, omnipresent, formless Love is within us. It is to him that our faith should be directed, because love is undoubted like nothing else. And when it is firmly established in our hearts, we will never again need to look for happiness outside of ourselves.

People will appear in and out of our lives. We will accept the love that exists in the world and see the absence of love for exactly what it is - a cry for help from the person who is hurting. We will encourage others to find the Source of Love within themselves, as we ourselves have done, fully understanding that we cannot solve their little problems. The tragedy of their lives can only be resolved by themselves - by their willingness to look into their own hearts and minds.

Think kindly about your neighbor, wish him love and happiness, or simply don’t stop him from being himself– this is the highest manifestation of love. For human relationships, the very awareness of this fact is very important: you cannot change another person. You either love him as he is, or you don’t; you accept it as is - or you don’t accept it. But trying to change him, to make him the way you would like him to be, is like trying to turn a dog into a cat or a cat into a horse. He is who he is, and you are who you are. You're either with him or you're not.

In order for both to be happy, everyone must bring impeccable order to their other half of the relationship. A person is responsible only for himself, but each of us has a lot of rubbish there. Our trash is just our trash. And we have to clean it up ourselves, not someone else. If your life partner wants to put things in order for you, it will all end with a bloody nose. You need to learn not to stick your nose where you're not told to.

Heal your other half of the relationship - and become happy. If you manage to heal your other half, you will be ready for a relationship in which there is no fear, no mutual demands. But remember that you can only heal part of yourself. Let each of you two take care of your other half - and you will see for yourself how quickly your relationship will improve.
Love makes us happy ; If both you and your life partner begin to serve love, it is difficult to even imagine what rich opportunities will open up for you. The day will come when you will live without guilt, without condemnation, without anger and sadness. And it will be a wonderful day: you can be completely open. You will begin to share only good things, you will only help each other, you will only give each other your love.

Any convention leads to internal conflict, and this is the problem of human happiness. For example, an attitude like “If ..., then I will be happy.”

False understanding of female happiness

1. I will be happy only when my husband treats me well.
2. I get the highest happiness in intimate relationships, and if they do not suit me, the partner is to blame, and, therefore, I need to look for another.
3. I feel happy that I do not limit myself in anything: I want to light a cigarette, drink a glass of wine (or two), eat a cake at night, etc.
4. I am happy when men look at me and they like me, so I will wear tight jeans, low neckline, a very short skirt, without a hat in the cold to be as attractive as possible.
5. I am happy that I am a self-sufficient woman - I can earn money, carry bags, drive a car, I don’t need handouts from men.
6. I will be happy when my boss raises my salary and my clients (colleagues) are calmer.

As you can see, most often we not only become attached to the result, but also wait for it long before we have “fulfilled our destiny” and not always with love... In this case, what kind of human happiness can we talk about? And the very expectation of happiness cuts everything in the bud. Therefore, let’s try to rephrase the erroneous attitudes given above into healthier and more correct attitudes regarding the understanding of our happiness.

True guidelines for understanding female happiness

1. I am happy regardless of who treats me and how. Only when I am happy does my husband treat me well.
2. Intimate relationships cannot make me happy. I am initially happy without intimate relationships. If intimate relationships do not bring happiness, then I am looking for it in the wrong place. Therefore, first I need to love the partner with whom I live, accept him as he is.
3. I feel happy that I take care of my health, so I limit myself in order not to harm myself: I don’t smoke, don’t drink, and don’t eat at night.
4. I am happy because I am a Real Woman. I take care of my beauty and therefore will not allow it to be looked at and committed in the mind of adultery, which pollutes my purity and chastity. Therefore, I will not walk around in tight jeans, with a low neckline, in a very short skirt, without a hat in the cold.
5. I am happy that I am a real woman - I can do without men if they are not around, but I can also turn to men for help, ask them for something and accept their care.
6. I am happy that I can do my job with love, fulfilling my purpose, and I am glad that I can be useful.

Don't try to do for your neighbor what he should do for himself. To overcome boundaries, you need to see them correctly. Do not place responsibility on your neighbor for your own peace and happiness, and on yourself for his peace and happiness.. He is not here to save you, and you are not here to save him.
On the other hand, do not hold anything against your neighbor. To be offended is the same as attacking him and giving yourself over to the power of fear and guilt.
Don't shy away when your neighbor asks for help. Let him walk with you hand in hand as long as he wants. And when he is ready to leave you, wish him a good journey. Don't hold him against his will and don't let him feel like he owes you something.
Your neighbor's freedom is nothing more than a symbol of your own freedom. Therefore, graciously allow him to come and go. Greet him when he comes and wish him a bon voyage when he goes. There's nothing more you can do. But this is quite enough.
A man creates the initial impulse, which allows love to manifest itself! A woman responds to a man’s impulses and reveals her love.
A mature woman “gives birth” to her man. This is her important and difficult task and very interesting! “Giving birth to a man” means creating great happiness. Many have heard about the “royal word.” This is the strong-willed, creative word of a man, filled with the deepest love for a woman. And the stronger and more complete the love between them, the more majestic the man’s royal word, the more significant it is for the World. Then this word becomes the word of the Creator! Many “royal” words were heard on earth, based not on love, but only on will. Hence the enormous disasters from such “royal” words.
Intuitively striving to make the word more significant, to fill it with love, rulers of all ranks surrounded themselves with fans, concubines, harems, and skillfully formed the people’s love for themselves. But the royal word acquires its greatest sound when it is filled with the mutual love of the one and only one that contains all the women of the world!

As long as you are unhappy, you will not be able to give happiness to your children!

There is a golden rule: “If I want my children to be happy, then I must be a happy person myself.” You can only give your children what you have yourself; the more happiness the parents have, the more happiness the children have. To cease war and enter into the present is to discover the greatness of our own heart, which can contain the happiness of all living beings as inseparable from our own happiness.

Be guided by love

Focus on gratitude: Pay attention to what you are grateful for to expand the energy of your heart. - this is when you prefer to see God's love in everything. No person who makes such a choice can be unhappy.
The decision to value what you acquire leads to happiness just as surely as the decision to belittle him leads to unhappiness and despair. The first supports and elevates. The second brings everything to naught and destroys.
The way you choose to respond to life's events shapes your perception for a long time. If despair reigns in your life, it comes from the fact that you have chosen not to notice, not to appreciate what is given from Above.
Don't forget: let go of resentment and anger towards others to free your heart.
Radiate: Spread “radiant” love and wish well to everyone you meet.

Everyone living on Earth reaps the fruits of the thoughts he sows. And if he wants to change the character of the next harvest, he must change his present thoughts.
A state of happiness can spread between people, and if everything is good in your family, then all family members are happy. It is sensitivity and attention towards yourself and the people around you that helps anyone become much happier.

Think lovingly of all living beings, wish that they become truly happy, find true peace, true freedom and true joy. First remembering your loved one, father, mother or spouse, or not so close friends and acquaintances, say:
" May all living beings be truly happy!
Let them truly become harmonious!
Let them become truly free! "

Spiritual happiness is almost invisible to the eye. And the cruder the manifestation of happiness, the more and more noticeable it is: people start dancing, turn on music loudly, they need everyone around them to know that they have happiness.
But spiritual happiness will not be seen by an ordinary person. The power of this state is incredible. In this state, miracles, reality control, and much more are performed. A person in this state of absolute inner happiness can do anything. His thought is capable of materializing any desire.
Therefore, people are drawn to such Saints who are constantly in this state. Their power is so great that even the thought of this Saint already works to fulfill a desire (for example, healing or solving a problem).
Try, while listening to this mantra, to enter such a state of inner happiness (ecstasy). This is a very subtle feeling. Very sublime, and at first it is difficult to realize it, it is so subtle. But gradually, striving for things that cause this feeling, you will understand better and better what we are talking about.

Subject: Russian literature

Grade: 9

Subject:Preparing for an essay. (22 – 23 lessons)

Composition by work A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin".

“Why didn’t happiness happen?

Tatiana Larina and Evgeny Onegin?

(The theme of love in the novel by A. S. Pushkin

"Eugene Onegin".)

Lesson type: Lesson that completes an in-depth reading of the novel.

A lesson teaching essay-reasoning.

A lesson teaching how to draw up a regular plan and a quotation plan.

Goals: Be able to select the material correctly, analyze the work, write according to the topic of the essay, and use citations correctly.

Tasks : 1. Complete an in-depth reading of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

2. Analyze chapter 8 and answer the main question of the lesson.

3. Determine what is unique about the genre of essay-reasoning, name its components.

The main objective of the lesson:

learning to write an essay plan.

Technologies:

group, research, creative.

Equipment:

Illustrations for the novel and drawings by students;

Recordings of Onegin and Tatiana's arias;

Texts of the novel;

Textbook on literature 10th grade. V. G. Marantsman;

Decorated board.

Plan. (Lesson and as an essay plan).

I. Love and happiness are very close concepts.

II. Onegin and Tatyana are two banks of one life - a river.

1. Captured by books and light.

2. Meeting of heroes. (Village).

3. Letter from Tatiana.

4. Garden date.

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin).

7. Last date. Separation forever.

III. 1. The originality and role of composition in revealing the main plot line of the novel - the failed happiness of the author’s favorite characters.

“God grant that in this book you (the reader) can find at least a particle.”

A. S. Pushkin

Introduction.

I. "Love is the heart of everything."

V. V. Mayakovsky

Main part.

II. “The shores, the shores. This bank and that bank - between them is the river of our life.”

Song

1. She “I fell in love with the novels of both Richardson and Rousseau.”

He "like Childe Harold sullen."

2. She : “You just walked in, I instantly recognized...”

He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. She : “I recognize that you were sent to me by God.”

4. She “I listened, barely breathing.”

He : “Your perfections are in vain. I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. He: “Another thing separated us, Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.” (Or "From everything thatheart nice, then I tore it off.”

She

6. He : “How Tatiana has changed! - Goddess of the royal Neva!”

She "... doesn't notice him."

7. He : “What a mistake I was, how I was punished!”

She

Conclusion

III. 1. “Forever alive, forever new.”

V. G. Belinsky

(Opinions and judgments about the novel from critics and readers of different eras).

Preparatory work.

1. Draw illustrations for the 8th chapter of the novel (your own, not copy them).

3. Answer the questions in writing (in workbooks):

How does the novel end? (Chapter 8).

Who and what is the whole novel about?

Your understanding (and A.S. Pushkin):

What is love?

what is happiness? Are they related?

Under what circumstances, where, how did Tatyana and Evgeny Onegin meet?

Why didn’t Onegin reciprocate, although he immediately noted her intelligence, modesty, and spiritual beauty?

Tatiana's letter to Onegin. How does it reveal Tatyana’s character and nature?

Onegin's confession to Tatyana (date in the garden) in response to her letter. How does it characterize Onegin, what are his character traits?

Why did the duel between Onegin and Lensky take place, because they were friends?

Have our heroes (Onegin and Tatyana) changed during the 2 years of separation?

Why did Onegin now fall in love with Tatiana, a society lady?

Why did Tatyana refuse Onegin now?

Who do you feel more sorry for: Tatiana or Onegin? And Pushkin?

Why does Pushkin leave his hero (Onegin) at such a fatal moment for him, and the novel remains unfinished?

Is it possible to continue it? If so, how would you complete it? Try writing another chapter (you can do it in prose, of course).

Why, in your opinion, did Onegin and Tatyana not become happy?

Or maybe they found a different kind of happiness? What? What is the ideal of the poet Pushkin?

Individual tasks.

1. Prepare brief information (repetition) about romanticism, sentimentalism, the uniqueness of their development in Russia (2 students). The material is in the textbook.

2. Prepare an expressive memorization of Tatyana’s letter (with my abbreviations) (1 student).

3. Re-enactment of the last date between Onegin and Tatiana (St. Petersburg). (I compiled it myself based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8. I prepared its performance.)

4. 2 individual tasks about Tatiana and Onegin: - a report about Onegin’s journey and how he appeared in St. Petersburg; - a message about what events happened in Tatiana’s life during Onegin’s absence, how are they explained?

Design of the board for the lesson.

Notes on the board: topic, goals, tasks, plan. (The plan is normal (left side) of the board, and the right is empty).

During the classes.

I. Introduction.

"Love is the heart of everything." (Or love and happiness are very close concepts.)

Conversation.

1. Guys, what and who is this novel about? (About love, about unfulfilled hopes, about young people of the 10s-20s of the 19th century.)

2. What is love? What meaning do you give to this word? What does Pushkin mean by the word love? (The guys name the words: love is passion, suffering, illness, illness, happiness or unhappiness, family; this is life, favorite job, beloved friends...)

I have already prepared these words on pieces of paper in advance and drawn a heart. I attach these words to it (like rays) (or all this on the poster).

It turns out that this is the basic outline (the guys can draw it in their notebooks)

Favorite job life

beloved friends passion

suffering

family Children

misfortune illness

happiness illness

3. What is happiness? (We do the same vocabulary work with this word.)

Sun (happiness): a sense of accomplishment, life, love, light, warmth of the family hearth, children, service to the Fatherland.

Let's write down the first output:

Love and happiness are very close concepts, they always coexist, one is revealed through the other. These words are synonyms. The novel “Eugene Onegin” is a novel about love, but one that failed and did not become happiness.

So today in class we will try to find out the reasons why the happiness of Tatyana and Onegin did not happen, what are the reasons. This is the topic of the lesson.

Let's move on to the main part of our reasoning.

II. Main part.

1. Captured by books and light.

1. Brief literary dictionary reference about sentimentalism and romanticism and the peculiarities of their development in Russia. (2 students are prepared in advance.)

2. Conversation with students.

Do you guys find the presence of these trends in literature regarding the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (Yes, especially since Pushkin himself called his work a “novel.”)

What is this novel: a tribute to fashion, that is, romanticism that was fashionable at that time, or an attempt by the author to explain the characters of his heroes and their relationships? (Both.)

What are our main characters Onegin and Tatyana?

What can you tell about them (based on the first chapters of the novel) about their lifestyle, hobbies, habits?

(To save time, 2 previously prepared students can briefly talk about them.)

Recording the output : Onegin and Tatyana live the life of book heroes, like all the youth of 10-20: Tatyana - Richardson, Rousseau; Onegin - Byron (“Childe Harold”), Benjamin Constant (“Adolph”).

Pushkin himself was fascinated by them and studied them! That is, Onegin and Tatyana are typical representatives of youth of the early 19th century, they are no exception, they are the same tribute to fashion; This is captivity, this is deception, these are mistakes, delusions, living under the impression of what you read. ("She fell in love with the deceptions of both Richardson and Rousseau”;He "like Childe Harold sullen.")

2. Meeting. (Village).

Conversation.

Briefly tell us how, under what circumstances, where did Onegin and Tatyana meet for the first time? (In the village, Lensky invited a friend to the Larins.)

What was this meeting like for Tatyana? (Fatal!)

Why fatal? What is the consequence of this meeting? (Tatyana falls in love with Onegin, but unrequitedly!)She : “You just walked in, I recognized it instantly.”He : “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. Letter (from Tatyana).

A student (in Tatiana's costume) reads by heart (abbreviated) Tatiana's letter.

Question for the class:

What can you say about Tatyana’s feelings, what are they?

How does the letter reveal Tatyana’s nature and character? (Her feelings are sincere, pure, strong, she fell in love for the rest of her life. She is an integral nature, but too trusting, believes in fate, etc.)

She : “I know you were sent to me by God.”

He: “...I was touched by innocent Tanya’s letter.”

4. Date. (In the garden.)

Conversation.

Why did Tatyana fall in love with Onegin at first sight?

(I read books, waited for my hero, saw him in Onegin - mysterious, different; I believed in the plans of fate.)

Why didn't Onegin take advantage?divine gift , which fate sent him?

(I didn’t want to lose the freedom that I had just gained by leaving the “light” of St. Petersburg; he stillwas not able to love himself andcouldn't appreciate the love of another.) But he showed gratitude, warning where “inexperience leads.”

She : “... listened, barely breathing.”

He : “Your perfections are in vain,

I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin.)

Conversation.

What caused the separation of Onegin and Tatiana? (Duel, death of Lensky.)

Whytook place Onegin's duel with Lensky?A duel between friends?

(“The spring of honor is our idol.

And this is what the world revolves on!”)

Fear of gossip, rumors. Yes, and they are friends “with nothing to do.”

It turns out that Onegin is incapable of either love or friendship, because he is not free from the “light”, its laws. Only then will it come to him.

He : “Another thing has separated us,

Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.”

(Or "From everything thatsweet to my heart ,

Then Itore my heart out.")

She (in Onegin’s house): “Isn’t he a parody?”

The student and student briefly talk about how and where Onegin and Tatyana lived for two years apart:

about Onegin - travel andwhat returned to St. Petersburg as greeted;

about Tatyana - a series of events in her life, her feelings, thoughts,new external the appearance of the heroine.

6. New meeting. (Petersburg.)

Conversation.

How does St. Petersburg find Onegin’s “light”, and why?

(Strange, he doesn’t look like his former self, doesn’t look like them.)

What does the “light” advise Onegin? (Be like everyone else.)

What do you think is the “strangeness of Onegin”? What has changed in him? (I began to notice people, became capable of feeling, suffering,fell in love !)

How does he find Tatyana now? (He finds no trace of the former humble girl. She is unapproachable, cold: “Goddess of the royal Neva!”)He : “Goddess of the royal Neva!”She : “... doesn’t notice him.”

Let's see this with our own eyes.

7. Staging. "Last date."

(Last date scene

Onegin and Tatiana.)

It is based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8 of the novel.

Conversation.

How is this date different from the first one, in the garden, in the village? (Onegin has become himself, loves, suffers, but does not find the same Tanya. The situation has changed just the other way around. She is now teaching him a lesson in morality.)

How does Tatyana motivate Onegin’s sudden love for herself? Answer with lines from the novel. (Which is noble, that in the world, that her shame would be noticed by everyone.)

What do you think: is she right? (No! He loves sincerely, repents of his previous mistakes, that then “he didn’t give in to the habit”, that “he didn’t want to lose his hateful freedom.”)

What do they both understand? (that they both love each other. That Tanya is the same, that Onegin is different, but that happiness is impossible.)

Why does Tatyana ask to leave her? (She got married, is faithful to duty, values her husband’s honor, respects him, because he is a noble, battle-wounded general, respected by everyone.)He : “How wrong I was, how I was punished.”She : “But I was given to another, I will be faithful to him forever.”

8. What mistakes did they both make?

(Tatyana got married, yielding to her mother’s pleas, and “all the lots were equal” to her; Onegin once did not believe himself (“the habit was given to us from above”), he could not once become above the “light.”)

Conclusion : Their happiness did not happen for many reasons (mistakes that both of them made): a tribute to fashion; Tatyana’s ignorance of the laws of social life, her carelessness; the desire to be free from family ties as Onegin; duel; Tatyana's marriage.

What lesson of life, what science of love did Pushkin teach us? (Life is harsh, in contrast to its beauty in books, in dreams; it is filled with human suffering, separations, late awareness of one’s mistakes and the inability to correct them, since it is impossible to turn back time, to live again (you cannot step into the same river twice). So it always was, so it is and so it will be...

What examples of such a fate of heroes in works of classical and modern literature do you know?

(“Romeo and Juliet” - literary heroes; M. Volkonskaya - in life. She, like Tatyana (in the r. “Eugene Onegin”), did not marry for love, but carried a high sense of duty throughout her life, went for her husband to Siberia...) The same destinies, sufferings, and mistakes of life are sung in the song “Shores” performed by A. Malinin. Let's listen to her.

9. (Musical pause.)

III. The final part of the lesson.

"The distance of a free novel."

1. The role of composition, its originality in revealing the ideological concept of the novel.

Questions for the class:

What can you say about the composition of the novel?

What is the role of chapter 8 in it?

What is unique about the composition of the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (answer)

Then I. (The composition is traditional and simple, since the novel reveals the typical fate of the heroes in the development of their love relationships.

At first : She loves him,

He won't notice her.

She writes him a letter and listens to his sermon.

Then: He loves her, she does not notice him; he writes her a letter, listens to her sermon

This often happens in life. This is a simple structure of the novel (mirror composition, reverse reflection.) But it emphasizes the complexity of human relationships and the experiences of our heroes.

Critics, readers about the novel.

2. Now let's turn to the opinions of critics and literary scholars (Pushkin's contemporaries and today). What did they find in the novel, what do they think about its characters?

(The statements of Belinsky, Herzen, Dostevsky, Merezhkovsky, Lotman, Kuchelbecker, Gukovsky end.) We read from the textbook and listen to individual information from the student.

Question for the class : -Are their opinions clear?

Answer : “No, different. Yes, many coincide..."

Question : "And why?"

Answer : …

Conclusion (teacher ) : because our life is filled with diversity, movement of thoughts, destinies. The main thing in it is the ability to overcome difficulties, the ability to think, feel, love, warm others with your love, shine for others like a candle in a dark night, warm others who need it with the warmth of your outstretched hand. This is what the great Pushkin hoped for, and prayed to God for this: “God grant that in this book, reader, you could find even a grain.” I. Moiseev and A. Pugacheva sing about this in the song “Two Candles in a Dark Night.” (Light candles from one to another, join hands and listen to the song.)

2nd musical break.

Our journey through the pages of Pushkin’s favorite novel “Eugene Onegin” has ended, the last page of the life of his favorite heroes has closed. Take his wise advice with you into life, carefully, like a candle, carry your love through life and remember that love (as the poet told us) is a priceless gift, a divine gift! Learn from Pushkin all your life.

Lesson grades. They are ranked according to the number of tokens and their colors that the students earned during the lesson.

Homework .

Write an essay on one of the suggested topics. (The topics were given in advance in one of the lessons at the beginning of the commented reading of the novel.)

Here is a list of these topics.

1. Why didn’t Onegin and Tatyana’s happiness happen? (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

2. The role of the episode (“Tatyana’s Dream”) in revealing the character and fate of the main character of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

3. “Where there are no passions,

Where there is no sadness -

There is no life there.

V. Belinsky

(Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin” or the student’s choice.)

4. “I love my dear Tatyana so much.”

A. Pushkin

5. Features of the genre and composition of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin”.

6. My opinion about Onegin. (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

Have you ever wondered what words "Love" And "happiness" very often used in close conjunction? Why is it that when love is lacking we cannot find happiness, or when happiness is absent we cannot feel loved. We know that happiness is a feeling of great pleasure, satisfaction with one's life and joy.

And love is a deep and tender feeling of affection and devotion from one person to another. Thus, it can be said that love is the surest road to happiness. Many people say that the way to be happy in life is through caring for another person and his caring for you.

There are many forms of love: the love of a woman for a man, the love of parents for children, the love for their country, for their work, the love for God. Love has no boundaries; religion, age, and financial status of a person are not important here. We can accurately determine by looking at another person that he is in love. It seems that he is floating in the air, fluttering and not noticing anything around. This man is happy.

And a person is happy because he has found his life partner, received a promotion, his wife gave birth to a child, and for many other reasons. And people are happy because they have someone to share their feelings with. And this is the most beloved and closest person.
Because of the feeling of love, we become strong to face all the obstacles in our life. Love allows us to get rid of insecurities and “complexes” and achieve our goals in life. Our happiness becomes a powerful shield that protects us from all adversity and trouble.

Material wealth and power cannot replace love. They can only create the illusion of happiness. People who only worship power or wealth will always be in search of truth. They do not live surrounded by loving people. They are surrounded only by subordinates or hired workers.

When we are full of love, our life is full of joy because we know what we want and what makes us happy. When we give love to another person, and he loves us back, our souls and our lives become richer, more colorful and brighter. Well, the normal continuation of love is a wedding, the birth of children and their love for us. And then for sure It will become clear why the words “love” and “happiness” are very often used together.

Love and happiness to you.

And they wait impatiently for “love to come unexpectedly.” In the confidence that then the bright, full-fledged joy of life will sound like a powerful, strong chord. Everyone is very fueled by the myth that “man is born for happiness, like a bird is born for flight.” And that each of us is born with the ability to love.

Maybe he does, but why doesn’t it occur to anyone that without development, any abilities can wither away.

What are these abilities? Why are people drawn to one person and shy away from another? What do you need to have to be loved? Money? Position? With your mind? Face? Clothes?

None of the above. You just need to have a full-fledged emotional sphere. And the richer a person’s palette of experiences, the more attractive he is to others. Because there is a living fire burning in him, to which both women and men are drawn. An emotionally complete person is never lonely!

Emotions are an unpopular topic. There are no discussions and polemics about emotions on TV; they are not discussed in the kitchen. They are not interested at all. We can say that this topic is closed in society. Or rather, not touched by anyone. This sacred knowledge is hidden from everyone because it is not in demand.

Meanwhile, all human life is built on emotions, tied and revolves around them. To get sensations, impressions and experiences, people read books and listen to music, start hobbies, go to fun discos and go on challenging hikes.

Do you think people dream of fame and power? No, about the experiences they can give. They even earn money to buy emotions. Because a new yacht or an old bicycle, a cheap bauble or natural diamonds, a picnic in a nearby grove or a cruise around the world are valuable only for the sensations they bring.

Moreover, the origins of any creativity originate in emotions. To create something, a person must be passionate about it. And the secret of charisma, which so many dream of, is hidden there - in a powerful, deep, “multi-colored” emotional sphere.

From the point of view of science, both love and happiness are the highest emotions that are inherent only to humans.

Animals do not have love because they do not have higher emotions. And they get along just fine without it. Look, wolves have stable monogamous couples, when the she-wolf is “on maternity leave”, the wolf does not drink, does not run to the left, but regularly carries food to her. Some people could use a lesson.

True, animals are not happy. They are capable of experiencing pleasure, but not happiness. They don't have this center in their brain.

But a person has. Perhaps that is why both happiness and love belong rather to the category of the divine.

However, in man, animal and divine principles are combined in a surprising and not at all harmonious way.

The human aversion to tension makes him dream of having happiness, but without effort. And then happiness is declared to be well-fed peace, like that of animals in a zoo. And everything is called love, from sexual attraction to the social attitude: “it’s time to have a family.”

If only those who dream of love listened not only to fashionable songs, but also read smart books! They would learn that love does not always bring joy and pleasure. Never peace. Sometimes death.

And about happiness in the encyclopedic dictionary it is written that it is “a feeling of completeness and meaningfulness of life.” I’m afraid we’re not talking about external indicators – family-career-house-full-cup, but about something completely different, not known to many. When life is not feared and not invented. When they perceive it in all its diversity and respond to its signs, like a sensitive tuning fork. And for this it boils inside a person and around him.

By the way, a person experiences the most vivid sensations from happiness that did not fall on his head, but through suffering. When he could, he achieved, he conquered, he achieved. These are rare conditions. They are truly about love. Sometimes to a person. Sometimes to Business. Always towards Life.

It’s surprising that only fiction and speculation circulate about this most important area in a person’s life. Heaps of books have been written on how to develop will, memory, and intelligence. They never say “develop” about emotions, but only “control”. This means avoiding “negative” feelings at all costs. For some reason, most people are sure that a person does not need fear and anger. That nature and the Lord God created them foolishly. And a person’s task is to remove unnecessary things from himself.

So in the middle of the twentieth century, swamps were drained, not taking into account that nature has its own laws. The swamps disappeared, but insects disappeared with them, birds died out behind them - the ecology was disrupted.

As in nature, there is nothing unnecessary in the human soul. Each sense has its own function and purpose. There are no good or bad emotions, there are adequate and inadequate, appropriate and inappropriate.

As in nature, the emotional sphere of man has its own complex and fragile balance. It is easy to break, but so difficult to restore.

A person with well-developed emotionality receives incomparably more pleasure from work and rest, from communicating with art, people and nature, from food and sex... from life! They say about such a person: he has courage, drive.

And these people also feel inner independence. No wonder they irritate society. After all, they feel in their own way, and not “as is customary”! Therefore, there are many who want to drive the divine gift into a Procrustean bed. Here is the state, which needs silent robots. And loving parents who carefully trim their child’s wings so that he doesn’t fly far. Oh no, no one wants harm. But how often crimes are committed not out of malice, but out of ignorance.

Various kinds of trainings have also appeared that deal with the emasculation of emotions. They promise to teach you to be forever happy, or at least always in a good mood. It’s called “seeing the positive in everything.” How is that? Having never experienced suffering? Neither from mistakes, from which, as you know, one learns, nor from one’s own stupidity or meanness? Mental pain is a sign, a beacon, a landmark, it signals, it screams - understand and be smarter! Pain is the touch of God. K. Kedrov.

The current fashionable trick, which is taught in trainings, is to track down and cut off “bad” feelings in yourself, nip them in the bud, right in the morning. But while a person with the enthusiasm of a barbarian suppresses anger and indignation, at the same time their antipodes die in him - delight and admiration. Thus, a person makes himself a mental invalid. “If you can't feel madness, you can't feel love.” Shri Rajeenish

And even if a good fairy appears who sends such a person to the Ball of Life; even if there, at the ball, he will be invited by the most beautiful and intelligent people on the planet... He will not experience anything special. Because with a poor emotional sphere, any event falling into this half-dead swamp will cause only a short surge of sensations. Quiet and dim. And again we will blame everything on “bad luck”.

However, it’s a sin to blame the training. They just fulfill the dream of the average person about Control over the senses.

I think many would be quite happy if emotions were sold bottled. Sort of like a home bar fridge. So that when your soul gets hungry, you can take it out, drink a glass and put it back. For example, once a week on Saturdays. Or once a year on vacation.

Probably, if there was a boutique selling feelings, it would be a great success. I can imagine a dialogue with a salesman in a similar store.

– Give me some Quiet Joy.
- Maybe you can take something else? Delight?
- No, it's too loud. Neighbors may call the police for noise.

– Delight, it will be inside you.
– What’s good about him?
- It overwhelms, captures...
– Captivating? Then I’ll call the police myself!
- Excuse me, but do you have True Love?
- Certainly!
– Isn’t this a dangerous emotion?
“It makes a person vulnerable.”
- Then don't. Give Easy Falling in Love and Low Sexual Attraction.

– Maybe Passion?
- Come on, I’m a decent woman!
- And give me the Feelings of the Celebration of Life. Oh, why do they shimmer so much? Is there any regulated holiday?

- This is not a holiday...
- It’s okay, it’ll do for me. Otherwise, you will get hooked on these Strong Emotions of yours, and God forbid, you will fall in love with Life. But when everything is not good, it’s not a pity to die...

I have been working in the emotional sphere for 20 years. In the first years, I had to literally collect knowledge about it bit by bit, look for literature and specialists. It took a long time before I was able to work with emotions without fear of causing harm. Naturally, it horrifies me when everyone, whoever they please, climbs into this subtle sphere, some with a sledgehammer, some with a hammer, some with a velvet noose.

Maybe that’s why a healthy, full-fledged emotional sphere, not crippled by relatives and society, is extremely rare? Maybe that’s why real, undistilled feelings are so rare: a taste for life, a taste for life, love, and happiness?..

Like everyone else, I have hard days and easy days. But always, when I go to work, instead of blood, champagne plays and boils in me. When I return, it’s different, depending on how the group I’m leading went. Sometimes there is a black hole in the chest. Sometimes fireworks.

But by the end of the week I have a living, fragrant bouquet of different impressions. In a month a greenhouse appears, in a year a huge garden appears. Imagine, I live in this garden! And all the flowers there are real. I evoke a memory and it comes to life, I can immerse myself in it, hear smells, sounds, taste.

I know what fear, melancholy, hatred are. But I also know what tenderness, jubilation, admiration are, and what it’s like to soar in the clouds, and what it’s like to die and be reborn in love...

There are flowers that I am ashamed to look at. Or it hurts. But I don't weed them out. After all, this is a precious emotional experience of my one and only life.

Leo Tolstoy believed that “all the diversity, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of shadow and light.” I am ready to sign these words in blood. And champagne!