What does orientation without prejudice mean? What is orientation

A negative stereotype is a prejudice. Being a negative attitude towards a certain social group, prejudice contains negative emotions that give rise to intolerance, injustice, rudeness, immorality, etc., in a word, hostile behavior.
As a rule, people are not aware of the presence of prejudices and, accordingly, their manifestations are not controlled. In addition, during surveys, the majority of people generally refuse to recognize them both in themselves and even in representatives of their group (for example, ethnic). Of course, this does not mean at all that in in this case prejudices are really absent, indicating rather something else - that from the standpoint of modern social norms having prejudices is “not accepted”, and therefore shameful!
Since we all have social stereotypes (they are inevitable, even moreover, necessary), we all have prejudices to one degree or another. Another thing is that different people there may be prejudices against various groups: some have racial, some have gender, some have class, and some have both, and some at the same time. Therefore, if you do not experience any negative feelings when interacting with people of a different race, then this is not a reason to believe that you are free from prejudice. It’s better to remember (if you, of course, have a “traditional”, i.e. normal sexual orientation), how you felt when you saw a couple of “non-traditionally” oriented lovers, in other words, homosexuals?
The demonstration or, on the contrary, concealment of prejudices largely depends on the prevailing norms in society, which, in turn, can be determined by political or ideological realities. For example, totalitarian regimes even specifically cultivate and encourage prejudice in the form of class, national or racial hatred. But intolerance is rarely limited to one object of hatred. IN communist USSR and in Nazi Germany were criminally prosecuted and physically destroyed (not to mention moral destruction) not only class or national groups, but also homosexuals. By the way, psychoanalysis provides an interesting, unexpected and paradoxical explanation for hatred of homosexuality. From the point of view of psychoanalytic theory, intolerance towards homosexuality is most characteristic of those people who experience acute unconscious anxiety about their own latent (hidden) and repressed homosexuality. In other words, a person who unconsciously experiences a feeling of uncertainty regarding his own psychological gender, whose process of final gender identification has never been completed, becomes the most violent persecutor of homosexuals. He unconsciously fears and hates his own homosexual impulses and projects his fear onto obvious homosexuals, fights them and thereby fights himself. And the stronger the pressure of one’s own unconscious homosexuality, the tougher and more desperate the struggle.
But prejudices can and should be controlled not only by society and the authorities, but also by the individuals themselves, since in addition to objective ones, there are also subjective ones, i.e. the causes of their occurrence rooted in the individual psyche.
As Patricia Devine (1989) suggests, there are two components to the prejudice response: unconscious, automatic, and conscious, and therefore controllable. When meeting representatives of a particular social group about which a person has stereotypes, these cognitive schemes are spontaneously activated. And there's nothing you can do about it. But further, P. Devine believes, a person is able to actively restrain the negative ideas contained in the stereotype. If this is not done, then a reaction of prejudice will follow. Therefore, the process of getting rid of prejudices resembles the fight against bad habits(Myers D., 1997). If you do nothing, they will persist, but if you consciously decide to end them, then maybe you can get rid of them.
P. Devine is also convinced that suppressing prejudices can weaken their basis - social stereotypes, which, ultimately, can also be eliminated. Of course, the author’s last statement raises great doubts, since the disappearance of stereotypes is only possible if the very principles of human (and not only) change cognitive activity. But this is already a completely fantastic assumption, since others known to science principles of knowledge simply do not exist. So let's move on to discussing the causes of prejudice.

There are emotions that destroy our lives and relationships with others. We are very well aware of some (and this does not mean that we draw the right conclusions) and often hear and read about them, and there are those that are little researched and discussed, but nevertheless have a huge impact on everything connected with us .

Let's immediately agree that we will consider prejudice precisely, despite the fact that this is a state, attitude and opinion in one person. Firstly, it is easier to call this term with one definition, and secondly, any state, attitude and opinion are formed primarily by the root emotion, and only then we enter into any long-term emotion (state), give ourselves a conscious command (attitude) and we express a thought out loud or to ourselves, taking into account some factors (opinion).

The connotation of this word is understood differently in different dictionaries. In some, prejudice is defined as a “negative attitude,” in others, “attitude,” that is, in the second case, this attitude may be positive in advance. We will consider precisely the negative attitude, based on which we will form a definition.

Definition and synonyms

Prejudice is a pre-conceived negative opinion about someone. Speaking about the word “in advance”, you should understand that this does not mean that this opinion can necessarily be formed before meeting a person; it can happen later. The most appropriate synonym for prejudice is ignorance. With ignorance, a person forms his opinion about something without having any facts, but based only on the desire to simplify everything. Why think and read about the global economy if everything is already divided, and all we can do is drown each other and survive? How can you trust a person who bought himself orange rubber boots?

Stereotypes are also similar to prejudice. So it turns out that these four factors smoothly flow from one to another, and sometimes one factor contains another.

Causes of prejudice

Some psychologists believe that prejudice stems from the need for self-esteem. If a person is told that the person he will meet today is a very bad person, this simultaneously means that he is worse than the person to whom this is told. Of course, this is a very distorted logic, but the vast majority of people have a distorted logic, which, moreover, often manifests itself on a subconscious level and is very difficult to distinguish, catch and disarm.

Prejudice is also a tempting opportunity to roll along the paved rut of other people's opinions, not strain the brain with a conscious attitude towards a person, and simply save time.

The better a person's mood, the less prone he is to prejudice and prejudice. An optimist has a much better attitude towards strangers, he is open to new impressions. or people with low self-esteem tend to subconsciously lower themselves to their level, increasing their mood and the same self-esteem.

And of course, the cause of prejudice may simply be lack of education and the small scale of the individual. The desire to simplify everything into one phrase is too tempting a prospect.

The danger of prejudice

However, in all these cases one thing is obvious - our reality is becoming inadequate. Of course, purely statistically, our prejudice towards a stranger may ultimately turn out to be true, but it is better to treat a person in advance either neutrally or friendly than negatively, because you never know what impact any acquaintance can have on life.

But not only does prejudice distort reality, but this person’s brain constantly supports this opinion, constantly looking for confirmation. This phenomenon is called. This is a state in which a person believes in one thing, but is faced with a situation that refutes this belief - and in the end must choose one of the two, or begin to live in a schizophrenic situation. As we see, the mental poison of prejudice can very easily distort reality, reach cognitive dissonance and even cause schizophrenia. This slight authorial exaggeration should make it clear that any negative emotion with long-term use it is capable of radical personality changes. Any actor will tell you this.

Just because you're biased doesn't necessarily mean you're bad person. After all, sometimes it is very difficult to get into the mood for a productive acquaintance with a person, before meeting whom everyone tells you how terrible and rude he is. People named Louis are more likely to live in the city of St. Louis, and you tend to trust the opinions of your friends and family because you consider them part of your personality. But you can imagine how prejudice can change your life - from cosmetic moments to complete destruction of your life.

The resourcefulness of the brain is sometimes simply amazing. For example, an anti-Semite, having met a Jewish philanthropist, is inclined to classify him as a good Jew and remain as before an anti-Semite. Moreover, the more philanthropists he meets, the more strongly he adheres to his opinion. And yes, this is again an example of getting rid of cognitive dissonance.

What to do if you yourself are a victim of prejudice

• a person often thinks categorically, use this. If you are in some way different from a person who is prejudiced against you, look for factors that unite you, take the person away from a negative perception and give him a positive one. For example, you might have in common higher education, same profession, social status. “Us bespectacled people have to stick together.”
• A very good way to deal with a person who is prejudiced against you is to constantly mention words such as “justice” and “humanity”. This programmability will allow this person to match them
• If possible, try not to communicate with such people at times when they are stressed or in a state of distress. The likelihood of prejudice increases several times. After a pleasant dinner or relaxation, a person tends to love the whole world

How to get rid of prejudices?

In principle, from everything discussed above, you can already figure out how to get rid of this behavior. However, we will systematize and add a couple of tips.

1. The first thing you should understand is that if you are prejudiced against someone, the reason is because of you. This idea is always difficult to accept, but being a pleasant person and loving other people is always more difficult than hating everyone.
2. Expanding knowledge about stereotypes. Understanding how your thoughts and emotions work and observing yourself is already half the success.
3. New acquaintances with different people. Many stereotypes and prejudices simply disappear when a person finds the desire and opportunity to meet people and initially treat them friendly.
4. Always remember that if your friend speaks negatively about a person you will soon meet, this is his opinion and in fact the reality may be very different. Plus, most things are truly subjective.
5. Treating people with respect (at least before meeting and getting to know them in person) is always more beneficial than being suspicious and negative.
6. Books and travel. Nothing pushes us towards prejudice like a small social circle, lack of observations of other cultures and knowledge.

In any case, remember that prejudice harms you. It limits you, binds you, paralyzes your brain, and will not make you happy. Leave your opinion regarding this phenomenon in the comments.

Due to societal hostility and prejudices against homosexuality, many young people (I'm talking about their teenage years) are confused about their sexuality, lack of self-esteem and associated alienation and isolation. According to the periodization of the process of formation of homosexual identity, which was put forward by American sociologist Richard Troyden, adolescence and early adolescence is the most dramatic and psychologically stressful stage of development. This is a period of doubt and mixed identity, when a teenager is already thinking about his sexual identity, but cannot yet clearly define it. Experiences of the first homosexual contact, self-awareness of one’s homosexuality according to data various studies, on average, occur precisely at the age of 12-16 years. Research by the British Medical Association has shown that by the age of 16, human sexuality is already fully formed.

However, for many teenagers, even having homosexual experience and awareness of their homosexuality does not mean recognizing themselves as gay or lesbian. Some of them turn to a psychotherapist for help in the hope of getting rid of their homoerotic orientation, others engage in self-education, eradicating such feelings in themselves. How? With the help of mental self-defense, the methods of which are different:

· Activation or, conversely, avoidance of communication, including sexual, with persons of the opposite sex;

· Avoidance of receiving any information that could confirm fears about one’s homosexuality, unwillingness to hear anything on this topic;

· Ridiculing one's homoeroticism and bullying one's own kind in the hope of hiding behind a wall of hatred;

· Avoiding painful problems with the help of alcohol and drugs;

· Defining unacceptable feelings and behaviors as incidental, temporary, or peripheral.

The teenager is not prepared for such a sudden invasion of sexuality into his psyche, and the natural reaction is often something like shock. Psychological disorders, which, as a rule, can follow this, are therefore not pathological (V. Frankl). According to I. Kon, “homosexual teenagers and young men need psychiatric and psychological assistance, but not because they are sick, but because they found themselves in very difficult situation, which only a specialist can understand.” I would associate this categorical “only” with the fact that many people ( social workers, psychologists, employees of lesbian and gay organizations) to whom young homosexuals turn are not aware of the rules and restrictions that exist in psychological practice in order to reduce the risk of harm to the person contacted. Therefore, I would like to introduce you to recommendations for professionals who work with young gays and lesbians, based on the materials of the American organizations P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), WAF (We are Family), the works of I. Cohn, as well as from my own observations.

Advice for professionals who work with young gays and lesbians (homo- and pre-homosexuals)

1. Don't be surprised when young people "come out" to you. Surely, before contacting you, they tested you with several “test balloons”. Based on your previous reactions, they decided that you were the right person to trust. A teenager does not open up to everyone at once; often he simply has no one to open up to, because he doesn’t trust anyone. Usually, the first confidant is his/her same-sex peer, the second is the mother, and, as a rule, he is never revealed to the father. He may come to you having already realized his homo-directionality and accepted himself, or he may come to you in an attempt to find the answer to the question: “Who am I?”

2. Maintain confidentiality. If a young person has shared information with you about his or her sexual orientation, you have gained trust that you must respect. Violation of this confidentiality often leads to suicide.

3. Understand the meaning of sexual orientation. Each type of sexual orientation is what comes naturally to that person. And it's not a matter of sexual preference. People don't choose to be gay or lesbian; they simply are.

4. Be supportive. Explain that many young people have struggled with this issue before. It is necessary to provide objective and accurate information about everything that concerns you young man, the experience of other young men and women with similar problems is especially important. Agree that dealing with one sexuality is difficult. Avoid easy and quick answers regarding this topic. Leave the door open for more conversation and more help.

Do not forget about family conditions, help the teenager understand his relationship with his parents, if possible, talk to them, but only with the consent of the teenager himself. If he wants to open up to his parents, but doesn’t know how to do it, introduce him to the recommendations of American psychologists from the P-FLAG organization, based on many years of research, and dedicated the following questions: “How to open up to your parents”, “What stages do parents go through on the path of understanding and accepting their child” (The school has a “Letter to a mother who found out about her son’s orientation” and “Coming Out” on this topic). It is very important that he knows about those psychological problems, which parents may encounter upon learning of his/her homosexuality. After all, it is difficult to be a philosopher in relation to your own child. Relationships can only work if there is patience, understanding and mutual honesty on both sides.

5. Help, but don't insist. Whatever the consultant’s own sexual orientation, he must proceed primarily from life problems the teenager sitting in front of him. You cannot say and do not have the right to decide whether to be or stop being gay or lesbian. The clues to how you can help will come from the youngest person. Do not squeeze him or her into the narrow framework of your own limited, like any person, ideas - this will make it easier for you to understand the teenager and find exactly him unique solution in his unique situation.

Troubled teenagers need to be accepted for who they are, without moralizing or intimidating. It is not the role of the counselor to change or reinforce the adolescent's sexual orientation. It is necessary to help him understand and clarify his feelings.

The most important thing is to deal with feelings. Most young gays and lesbians feel lonely, scared and guilty. You can listen to them, thus giving them the opportunity to release feelings and thoughts that are often in conflict with each other. Be prepared to encounter confusion and confusion. They must work with their own feelings and try to understand themselves.

Bias as a personality quality is the tendency to have an initially biased, biased, usually negative opinion about someone or something, to which a person draws all his subsequent conclusions.

One Buddhist master read a beautiful text to his students that touched everyone. The students immediately asked: “Who wrote it?” - If I say that this is Buddha, you will revere the text, lay flowers on it every morning and bow to it. If I say that the patriarch wrote this text, you will have great respect, but you will not bow to it as much as you would to the Buddha's text. If I say that the author was a monk, you might be confused. And if you find out that our cook wrote the text, you’ll just laugh,” the teacher replied.

Prejudice is a belief that makes it difficult adequate perception realities. Prejudice is indifference to facts, arguments, arguments. Prejudice is the lack of logic in justifying your assessment of another person. Psychologists have discovered that prejudices are extremely persistent because they support themselves. After a person mentally creates a logical rationale for his idea, he with great difficulty breaks up with her. Prejudice is extremely difficult to change using ordinary rules of logic or rational thinking: a person is not inclined to notice what contradicts his belief system. Conclusions are able to live their own own life, even if the facts on which they were based have already been refuted.

Bias drives the company with bias, prejudice, partiality and bias. Having such an environment, she becomes prone to biased, biased, one-sided, deliberate distortion of reality and defending it in the eyes of others; predisposed to impartial coverage of events and facts; seeks to insist on his vision of the problem, the manifestation of his personal preferences contrary to objective reality.

Once a girl brought her groom home to meet her parents. My father didn't like the groom right out of the gate. When they sat down to dinner, the future father-in-law bombarded the young man with all sorts of questions. It was clear from the answers that my father was being nagging in vain. However, he did not let up and asked one last simple question: “What party are you in?” “I’m not a party member,” the guy answered. - Here! I thought so! - the father perked up. - When I was young I had a dog. Non-party people stole it from the yard and ate it! Since then I have not liked non-party people!

Prejudice often results from disrespect and hostility. If a person initially, before meeting you, does not respect you (he has heard enough gossip, slander), he will be prejudiced towards you, that is, he will take everything you say skeptically or frivolously. Initial skepticism and bias appear.

Prejudice is the rebellion of the ego against the ego of the person opposite. Even if you shoot yourself, you can’t prove anything to a prejudiced person. He understands everything, but does not accept it. Maybe he doesn’t like your face or some habits cause hostility? No matter what reasons and arguments you give, it’s all in vain. Blank wall. An impenetrable shield of skepticism. Talking is pointless in most cases. Prejudice is almost impossible to change.

On a summer night, all the family members were sleeping in the garden on the roof of the house. The mother saw that her daughter-in-law, whom she was forced to endure against her will, and her son were sleeping, clinging closely to each other. It was beyond her strength to watch this. She woke up the sleeping people and shouted: “How can you snuggle so closely together in such heat?” It's bad for your health. In another corner of the garden, her daughter was sleeping with her beloved son-in-law. They lay at least one step apart. The mother carefully woke them both up and whispered: “My dears, why do you lie apart in such cold weather instead of warming each other?” The daughter-in-law heard these words. She stood up and said loudly, like a prayer: “How omnipotent is God!” There is one garden on the roof, and what a different climate it has.

Philosopher Vyacheslav Ruzov writes in the context of prejudice: “Prejudice is aggressive black and white thinking. You can't do anything with prejudice. Such a person finds the enemy in advance, goes to fight him in advance, and it is actually impossible to oppose anything, just somehow endure the situation. In the practice of communication, there is one way that allows you to slightly reduce prejudice. To do this, you need to eliminate the polarity of thinking, get away from such words as “ours” - “yours”, “ours” - “alien”, “black” - “white”. Use “we”, “us”. We all. All of us, etc. Those are such generalizing words. However, this does not work on a truly prejudiced person. If we come into contact with such a person, with obvious prejudices, he simply begins to get angry when he hears such generalizations. It just pisses him off. He jumps up and shouts: “Why are you speaking for all of us?” You only speak for yourself, why are you for all of us?! What's happened? You are zombifying us all. It's just you who thinks so, we don't think so. That is, you need to be very friendly with nervous people. Well, the man is nervous. Someone had already instilled some kind of prejudice in him. You need to be very friendly. You can't fall for a person's nervousness. You can't respond in kind. You cannot stand on the same platform. One must behave compassionately and mercifully, understanding that a person is in the heat of his prejudice.”

Two Catholic diggers were working near a brothel when they saw a rabbi sneak into the brothel. - What else can you expect from him! - the workers looked at each other. Some time later, the Protestant pastor sneaked in there. This no longer surprised them. - What else can you expect from him! A little later, with his collar raised high, a Catholic priest slipped into the house. - Horrible! One of the girls must have gotten sick.

Peter Kovalev

Homosexual- fact human life, which existed at all times along with the traditional orientation (which is quite clearly proven historical documents from different places and eras).

Attraction to people of the opposite sex existed among people as if “by default”; it was obvious that this was the dominant type of sexual attraction. However, it turned out that not everyone is capable of experiencing attraction only to the opposite sex.

In different periods of history and in different cultures ah formed different attitude to those whose sexual orientation was unconventional - from open persecution to the acceptance of this kind of contact as ritual practices, from disgust to the assertion of equality before the law.

On the one hand, these people really found themselves and find themselves in the minority, while the majority continues to experience attraction to members of the opposite sex. On the other hand, this minority is quite stable. According to various estimates, it is 3-7% of total number of people.

Naturally, statistics are difficult to collect from past historical eras, however, researchers are inclined to believe that this percentage remains almost constant at all times.

Sexual orientation in nature did not imply complete certainty: among animals, unconventional sexual behavior occurs in many species, from worms to mammals, and in approximately the same percentage as in humans. And therefore, it is difficult to say that homosexual - something “unnatural”.

So what is sexual orientation? Where does it come from? homosexual? And which ones even exist? types of sexual orientation? We will talk about this in the first part of the series about various forms sexual preferences.

Navigation through the article “Types of sexual orientation and its formation”:

The modern scientific community has not developed a single hypothesis about how sexual orientation is formed. They looked everywhere - in genes, studied various parts of the brain, hormonal factors, and, of course, the cultural, social context, early childhood experience and education in general.

You can read about all this in any modern encyclopedia. But there is something on which most scientists clearly agree: sexual orientation and sexuality in general are something that is formed at least with early childhood, and the deep foundations of human sexuality are laid in the intrauterine environment.

If we look at the development of the fetus, it turns out that any person in the womb goes through the stage of hermaphroditism: the embryo has the rudiments of both male and female genital organs.

Under the influence of various biochemical factors (including hormones), the embryo eventually acquires the characteristics of one sex or the other. However, this does not happen to everyone - there are also those who, even at birth, do not have a completely definable anatomical sex. The existence of hermaphrodites has been known at all times - just look at some ancient Greek statues.

This phenomenon of intrauterine development allowed some researchers (in particular, Freud, Kinsey, Weiniger) to conclude that a person is basically bisexual, even if his anatomical sex is formed without deviations at the time of birth.

However, later, with the development of sexual consciousness, one of the vectors - attraction to the opposite sex or to one’s own, a specific sexual orientation - begins to dominate, and bisexuality becomes latent, i.e. hidden, unconscious, remains in potential.

The formation of the fetus and what set of internal inclinations it will come into this world with, not yet realized by the person himself, are influenced by too many things: the biochemistry of the mother’s body, hereditary (genetic) factors, even emotional background The environment in which pregnancy occurs can influence the formation of the child's future sexuality.

But we are not yet able to accurately trace the entire chain of formation of such a complex set of reactions as sexual orientation: after all, an infant cannot talk about how he is aware of himself, his gender, and his awakening desires. And he still realizes very little.

And much more before that how gender and sexual orientation are generally perceived, on baby begin to influence social factors: expectations of parents, norms of sexual behavior accepted in a given culture, ideas about the acceptability of manifestations of sexuality in a particular family.

By the time a person completes the period of sexual development and becomes, moreover, a full-fledged member of society (and the age of majority, 18 years, is considered to be the statistically average age of completion of sexual development), he, in fact, has already been formed and his sexual orientation too.

But it's not that simple. Only if sexual orientation is traditional, it does not raise questions. The teenager is supported in his awakening desires or, at a minimum, they do not attach importance to this.

But in the case when a non-traditional orientation manifests itself in one way or another, or a teenager cannot decide to whom he feels more attracted, development occurs with a large component of neurotic factors - emerging questions about himself, fears, anxiety, self-rejection, or vice versa – open protest.

This is due to the fact that in societies of different cultures, non-traditional orientation is something negative, unacceptable, and pathological. And the child learns about this quite early, as a rule.

Despite long story attempts by scientists to prove that non-traditional orientation is a variant of the sexual norm, the philistine consciousness is afraid of such manifestations.

Delve into the explanations for why gay people have been rejected by different cultures in different times maybe for a long time. I will only say that something different from the majority in one way or another frightens many, creates a feeling of insecurity, and then people think little about whether there are grounds for fear - for many it is easier to prohibit than to understand, and this is already a matter of limited intellectual resources.

In our modern society, most parents think that if a child lives his life according to patterns that are understandable and familiar to parents, he will live it more safely.

And by the time such a teenager comes of age, he can no longer fully distinguish what is truly true in his awakening sexuality, what is the fruit of his own own faith into “how to do it right”, formed under great impact the opinions of parents and society, and what is protest behavior or a defense mechanism.

By the time a person begins to understand this topic within himself, he has already been fully formed, and his true core of desire has formed inside, but much of himself has been repressed into the unconscious, and therefore the search for what his true sexual orientation is can continue already in adulthood.

But let's talk about what generally happens to a person in this sense.

The main types of sexual orientation are heterosexual (attraction to people of the opposite sex), homosexual (attraction to people of the same sex) and bisexual (attraction to both sexes, but not necessarily to the same extent and at the same period of life).

In other words, a bisexual may experience attraction to women at one period of his life, and to men at another; it may be that the choice of a sexual object depends not so much on his gender, but on human qualities, or it may be that at one period of his life he is fascinated by both women and men equally.

However, types of sexual orientation this does not stop there. Asexuality is also considered one of the varieties of sexual orientation, when a person basically does not experience sexual desire or experiences it to a very weak degree.

What causes this and whether this is considered a variant of the norm is a topic for a separate article, however, people themselves who identify themselves as asexuals can be fully realized in all other areas of life, and research does not confirm that most of them have any mental disorders and personality pathologies.

Types of sexual orientation may have a more complex structure. For example, in my practice there were clients who were in to a greater extent focus on attraction not to a person's anatomy, but rather to their psychological gender.

For example, a man was attracted to young people, both anatomical men and anatomical transgender women, who were planning sex reassignment surgery or had partially transitioned.

What mattered was not what anatomical features characterized this personality, and the fact that psychologically it was a man was the most important thing in the emergence and development of attraction in my client.

This man considered himself homosexual, and in the event of contact with a woman who identified herself as a man and sought to occupy a proper social role, who looked the part and was preparing for sex reassignment surgery, he believed that anatomy simply “didn’t stop him” from enjoying relationships and sexual contact.

I also remember a woman who identified herself as heterosexual, and she had two episodes of relationships with masculine women in which she felt like the same woman being courted by a man. Psychology was also more important to her than anatomical features.

Or, for example, a man who considered himself bisexual, but clearly preferred either straight women or transsexual men who looked like women wearing women's clothing, while not necessarily seeking to change gender.

All this, theoretically, can be attributed to bisexuality, however, types of sexual orientation include the term “pansexuality,” which emphasizes attraction to people with a certain set of qualities, regardless of their anatomy.

Scientists continue to argue about terminology, however, I gave these examples for only one purpose: to show that sexual orientation includes not only an anatomical factor. Just like gender does not consist only of the configuration of the genital organs, but also includes psychology, social role, and identification.

It is also worth mentioning the variant of the sexual norm. In sexological practice the following definition is accepted:

Sexual norm - sexual actions of capable subjects who have reached sexual and social maturity, carried out by mutual consent and not involving harm to health and also not violating the boundaries of third parties.

Simply put, if these adults are responsible for their actions, are aware of them, do not commit violence, do not resort to sexual acts with a person who is not fully aware of themselves (a child, a mentally ill person), do not involve in the process those who did not give their consent to participation, and do not seriously injure each other - they have the right to everything that they can do within these limits.

But in every society there are additional restrictions, which, as a rule, stem from many factors, mainly value-based, moral and sometimes, as a consequence, legislative, which can limit the right of people to have sex the way they want.

Considering all types of sexual actions from the perspective of “norm/pathology” is not the purpose of this article, but if we return to the topic of sexual orientation, then sexual contact between two adults of the same sex, carried out according to mutual consent and without causing harm to health, is a variant of the sexual norm.

It would be simple and easy if the world was organized unambiguously. White or black, bad or good, up or down, right or left. “Pure” homosexuals and the same “pure” heterosexuals. But in reality, it is not possible to divide the world into such simple and understandable categories.

Zoologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey, studying the sexual behavior of people and animals, came to the conclusion that “pure” unambiguity in this matter is rare. Look at this scale and you will understand everything yourself:

Kinsey confirmed his hypothesis with extensive statistical data, but another one emerged interesting fact. Not only may a person not be a “pure” representative of his orientation, it is not possible to evaluate him on this scale once and for all, because different age periods may have different manifestations.

For example, in adolescence When sexuality is just awakening, it is quite easy to confuse situational manifestations of homosexuality with true homosexuality. During those periods of life, girls and boys exist in their own, mostly same-sex, companies or pairs of friends.

Friendships at this age can be very important, they are truly intimate during this period, and many of my clients have admitted to feeling attracted to, for example, a girlfriend or boyfriend of the same sex.

Sometimes this even led to some kind of situational sexual contacts; curiosity about sexuality was strong, but it was still difficult and scary to decide on contacts with the opposite sex.

But then such impulses faded away, and with further growing up and with the emergence of wider access to the opposite sex, the development of communication and dating skills, and maintaining relationships, those “random adventures” began to be perceived as a game and were even forgotten for a long time.

Often, when working with teenagers, I was faced with the fact that enthusiastic adoration, for example, of an older teacher was mistaken for falling in love and the teenager began to ask himself the question: am I gay?

But, as a rule, for the majority, such loves do not carry any information about what the real sexual orientation of an adult will be in the future.

They serve a completely different purpose: to reveal to the teenager himself the power of his emotions, they allow him to show sexual curiosity, to study himself and his reactions. Mature feelings and real strong attractions come, as a rule, later.

It also happens exactly the opposite. A person who, in adolescence, was “unconscious” relative to his peers of the same sex, has matured, lives an ordinary heterosexual life, and suddenly begins to mature age experience strong same-sex attraction.

How is this possible? As a rule, this is a consequence of harsh upbringing. If a child with early years actively instill horror of homosexuality, emphasize that non-traditional orientation is a shame and a nightmare, then the child will try with all his might to suppress and repress even latent manifestations of his own bisexuality (which - remember! - is inherent in everyone by nature).

As a result, his attraction will begin to form not as his nature requires, but as society requires. Moreover, this happens differently for girls and boys. For some time, boys, under the influence of strong youthful hormones, think that girls completely satisfy their desires.

In fact, the general illegibility of male youthful desires is reflected, especially among those who have a strong sexual constitution. At the moment of peak sexuality, instinct so powerfully demands an outlet that it gives rise to the ability to be satisfied with almost any more or less suitable object.

And taking into account the fact that the girl is awarded the label “the right object” by everyone around her, the universal approval of this step of the young man fuels his ardor. And only when the topic of self-affirmation in society recedes into the background can a person’s true sexual orientation emerge.

In my practice, there have been male clients who, on a wave of self-affirmation, managed to get married and even have children. But later, when other, deeper factors were needed for attraction, the attraction to his wife disappeared completely, and unconventional orientation “suddenly” announced itself with an unexpected, but passionate and irresistible love.

What happened more often with women was somewhat different: many of them started relationships with men, not at all guided by sexual impulses, if only curiosity. For many, something else was important - spiritual friendship, security, support in a woman’s desire to become a mother.

“I thought that sex was not the most important thing,” one of my clients said about that period of life, “we got along great, we had a child. And only later did I realize that I really wanted to have fun in bed, I sincerely wanted sex, but at the same time I realized that I really want this sex not with my husband or even with a man in general ... "

There have also been examples where a person realizes his orientation, develops a completely “ordinary” relationship, but at the same time suddenly experiences an impulse to “try something new” with a partner of the same sex. In general, there are a lot of development options.

I gave all these examples just to show: sexual orientation itself is formed early, but it manifests itself in different ways, at different periods of life, with different intensities, and most importantly, it may not be realized for a certain time, especially if it - homosexual.

Not many people get to extreme points scales as soon as they become generally aware of their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with that: human nature It is plastic for a reason, it is a certain resource that is given to man by nature.

For what? Well, at least so that in a situation where there are no sexual partners of the opposite sex, you can at least switch to your own partners for a while. Sex is a function that exists not only for procreation, and non-productive (not leading to conception) sex occurs among animals.

Sex helps the species survive in general because, among other things, it serves as a form of consolidation of the union between people, a source of creativity, a way of self-expression, etc. It has many important functions besides procreation.

As one of interesting examples– some fish change sex during life. This is how nature controls the balance of females and males in the population. And with regard to people, some scientists are inclined to assume that non-traditional orientation is a way of regulating population numbers.

At least before the advent of assisted reproductive technologies, these people were those who, in essence, refused to actively reproduce, while maintaining the ability to conceive, and could still take part in the reproductive process if necessary.

And in the next part of the article we will talk about is it possible to change sexual orientation, what things can interfere with this and why it might be needed in general.

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