Phobias associated with people - fear of strangers, drunken people, old people, fear of communicating with people, fear of large crowds of people, fear of people touching, losing a person: symptoms, treatment.

Good day friends and blog readers!

Today we continue talking about. Or more precisely, about the fear of communication with people, especially strangers.

It just so happens that we live in a society and we need to find a common language with its inhabitants in order to establish a personal and professional life. So, where does the fear of communicating with people come from and how to remove it.

• Fear of communication
• Causes
• What are we afraid of

Fear of communication

It often happens that starting a dialogue first is not so difficult, but simply impossible. It seems that now everything will go in an unclear direction and those around you will look condemningly or, even worse, with ridicule. As a result, it is easier to retreat into the shadows and not show up.

If such negative sensations occur extremely rarely, then this can still be attributed to a bad mood. But if it’s difficult to come up and start talking every day, and preparing for a work phone call continues for an hour, then it’s time to think about it.

First, it’s worth understanding where this feeling comes from. First of all, it is a defense mechanism.

Perhaps you were once greatly offended (insulted, humiliated). If such a traumatic moment took place, then the psyche could decide - why communicate with people if they hurt. So it turns out that you are protecting yourself without realizing it.

It would seem that everything is fine, no one will hurt me. But if you think about it, without communication there will be neither a prestigious job (because interviews are also communication), nor a normal personal life (after all, in order to get married, you need to first get acquainted).

And what do we get as a result? There is nothing good in fear, no matter how much it protects us from disappointments and insults.

If this awareness has come, then you can move further to a more specific study of the causes of the phobia and methods of solving the problem.

Causes

Many studies have been conducted on this topic at different times. As a result, psychologists have come to the conclusion that the root cause of uncertainty is:

• Criticism

This is not about constructive criticism, when shortcomings are carefully pointed out to us. Problems arise due to harsh, rude criticism, when not only shortcomings are pointed out, but all this is exaggerated and put on show. It is almost impossible to withstand such pressure without losses;

• Bullying

Refers to school age. It is there that the child encounters the inappropriate behavior of other children and withdraws into himself so that there is less ridicule. Trust in people after this, in mathematical terms, tends to zero;

• Inability to build a dialogue with the opposite sex

For girls, this problem appears if their dad is strict and despotic. For boys - if similar character traits were inherent in the mother;

• Unsuccessful performance in the past

Remember! There are different things in life, so if you made a mistake somewhere once, this does not mean that the next time everything will happen again!

• Shyness

Not all people are the same in character. For some it is easier to establish contacts, for others it is more difficult. But shyness is not a reason to be rejected. Just need a little more confidence!

• Inability to formulate your thoughts

If this is the problem, then the person needs to read more. This way, over time, the skill will develop and it will become easier to say what you think beautifully.

As you already understand, the appearance of shyness or uncertainty often comes from childhood. If there are fears about communicating, but you can fight them, then the likelihood of coping with the fear on your own is high.

If communication with other people is painful for you and requires preparation, then it is recommended to consult a specialist.

What are we afraid of

Fear of communication- the concept is very vague. That is why it is worth dividing what exactly a person may fear:

• Dialogue with strangers. A state of numbness arises and the person cannot connect two words;
• Conversation with a peer. The root cause is excessive shyness and inability to stand up for oneself;
• Contacts with the opposite sex. We have already discussed the origins of such a problem in the parental family a little earlier;
• Speaking in front of people. These include the inability to string together several words, constant stuttering, trembling knees and constant shortness of breath;
• Telephone conversations. The difficulty arises when it is impossible to see the interlocutor and evaluate his reaction to certain words;
• Contacts with management. Good, kind and loyal management is a gift from heaven, which, unfortunately, not everyone gets. But it is necessary to talk with your boss in the process of work in any case. And it’s bad when such interaction becomes a constant source of stress for the employee.

Self-help principles: what to do

It is possible to overcome your fear of communicating with strangers on your own. To do this you need:

• Do not get ahead of events and do not imagine the worst options. This will definitely not make you feel any better, but the fear of disgracing yourself will increase;
• Don't worry about what others think of you. They don’t think anything longer than one or two minutes!

Think about it: how long do you remember the faces of people going to a meeting on the street or speaking somewhere (unless, of course, they are celebrities)? Five minutes at best. Then the faces are simply erased from memory. So your “mistakes” are remembered for five minutes at best;

• Engage in dialogue. Do your homework first, thinking through how to start a conversation with people you are sure to see the next day. Over time, the need for such “home preparations” will disappear;
• We carefully monitor the facial expressions and movements of our interlocutors. Look for things that might indicate that the person is interested in talking to you. After all, why be afraid of a person who is interested in you?

The main thing is not to focus on your feelings.

Concentrate your attention on whatever you want - a flower in someone's window, a beautiful cufflink on the sleeve of your interlocutor, the taste of coffee (tea).

In general, you can think about anything before and during a dialogue, just not about how you feel. As soon as you notice a similar thought in yourself, immediately switch your attention!

Remember, the positive effect will not be immediate. To overcome yourself you need to work. Ideally, the restructuring process takes from one to three months.

The duration depends on the individual characteristics of each person’s nervous system. If during this time no changes have occurred, it is recommended to consult a specialist.

But it is possible to overcome a phobia!

We can talk about communication phobia for a long time. However, most often problems arise in personal communication.

Therefore, the continuation of our conversation with you will be the study of fears when meeting the opposite sex.

Once a week, by receiving a message from us with published articles, you will be kept up to date with the news of Fashion, Beauty, Health, and Creativity.

Everyone should know how to overcome the fear of approaching and start making friends, and therefore improve their life!

See you!

With you was a guest of the blog, practicing psychologist Maria Dubynina.)

If this article was helpful to you,

Communication is life. Wherever a person is, no matter what state he is in, he tends to communicate with family, friends, colleagues and even strangers. But some people experience psychological discomfort from any contact with others. This is how the fear of communicating with people manifests itself.

Social phobia - fear of communicating with people

In psychology, the fear of communication is called social phobia. It has a large number of varieties, knowledge of which will help overcome the signs of phobia.

Why are people afraid of communicating with others?

Social phobia is the fear of communicative influence. The contact itself, which causes the patient to feel panic and anxiety, can be of a different nature. Some patients find it difficult to talk with unfamiliar people, while others find it difficult to meet girls (guys). Some people completely avoid any contact with relatives, friends and colleagues. They experience fear of everyone around them, close themselves off and become prisoners of their own home, which they consider the safest place.

Depending on the type of social phobia, fear of communication may have various reasons for its occurrence. According to psychologists, the most common causes of social phobia lie in childhood experiences and grievances. Self-doubt and shyness are direct signs indicating the presence of a phobia. Fear may arise from the desire to communicate with peers who do not want to let a new person into their social circle. It may also be due to excessive criticism from parents.

The appearance of the problem in adulthood is also possible. More often, such a phobia is experienced by individuals who have experienced certain traumatic events or by those people who, due to some circumstances, are forced to have little communication with others. Both women and men can become hostage to social phobia. Signs of fear are found in young mothers on maternity leave, housewives, pensioners, etc. Patients experience a lack of communicative interaction, which is why a fear of communication develops.

Types of fear

An obsessive desire not to communicate with others is the first sign that a person suffers from social phobia. But the very contact with people that a person is so afraid of can be different. Fear of communication can have the following varieties:

1. Fear of contact with strangers. Such people can talk for hours with their loved ones, friends and colleagues, but feel insecure and uncomfortable when talking with strangers.
2. Fear of contact with the opposite sex. This phobia is based on a complex personality. Boys and girls are embarrassed to meet and communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, often because of failures experienced on the “love front”.
3. Fear of communicating with peers. Such fear is rarely encountered in a sociable child or teenager. Patients are often shy, which is why they can become outcasts in the team.
4. Fear of speaking. Public speaking is the most common type of phobia. This problem can arise at school due to failures to perform at the blackboard, at concerts, etc.
5. Fear of telephone conversations. Without making eye contact with people, but hearing their voice, some individuals experience an obsessive feeling of anxiety.

A phobia can also be expressed as a fear of communicating with high-ranking people in society. Those people who have a certain authority in a social group become the main psychological enemy of a person. This phobia is one of the most common.

Performance anxiety is the most common form of social phobia.

Signs of social phobia

Fear of communication is expressed by a variety of physical, psychological and behavioral symptoms. Depending on the strength of the fear, a person may experience anxiety or suffer a panic attack. In addition, the following symptoms of phobia are common:

• increased heart rate;
• feeling of a lump in the throat;
• problems with speech (tremor in the voice, stuttering, etc.);
• muscle tension;
• increased sweating;
• dizziness and headache.

And often the patient experiences problems with the gastrointestinal tract. He may experience nausea or intestinal cramps.

Depending on the degree of fear, the patient may experience one or several symptoms at the same time. The more pronounced the signs, the more difficult it is for the individual to contact people.

In adults

The manifestation of social phobia in adulthood can have a different character. Often the patient avoids unwanted contacts with friends, relatives, colleagues or strangers. When coming face to face with people, the patient experiences fear, which predetermines the appearance of physical, behavioral and psychological symptoms.

An individual may fearfully escape from a conversation, finding a safe place at home, at a workplace, etc. But if it is not possible to escape from fear, nor to overcome it, the patient is consumed by a feeling of panic. Due to the start of a conversation with an opponent, his consciousness becomes clouded. The patient cannot think rationally and conduct a dialogue correctly. Such events can cause misunderstandings among the interlocutor.

In children

Fear of communication in children is an even more common problem. The fact is that improper upbringing of a child can cause problems to appear in adolescence, during puberty. Boys and girls who change in appearance create complexes for themselves that turn out to be very difficult to overcome on their own in the future.

But, most often, social phobia arises at school, when a child enters a new social group that is unfamiliar to him. Problems with psychological adaptation occur in more than 50% of all students, but only a few turn to a psychologist for help. The result of inaction by the child himself, his parents and teachers can be:

• student's reluctance to go to school;
• lack of desire to communicate with peers;
• fear of contact with the teacher;
• refusal to speak publicly (at the blackboard).

Such a phobia arises from a fear of strangers, communication with them and a certain creation of a new social role.

Problems in communication with peers, answers at the board, conversations with the teacher, etc., are a reaction to the student’s poor adaptation, his fear of doing something that he will later regret, experiencing a feeling of shame.

A student may be afraid of a change in his social role or a decline in his authority among classmates.

Fear of the teacher and reluctance to go to school are consequences of an untreated disorder

Treatment of fear of communicating with people

It is important to get rid of the obsessive fear of communicating with others, because such a problem prevents the patient from living a normal life. It is impossible to live in fear all the time. Therefore, it is important to figure out how to overcome the fear of communicating with people. Psychologists advise:

1. During a conversation, you should focus not on the interlocutor and the fear of him, but on the dialogue itself.
2. Learn to listen to your interlocutor, avoiding your own eloquence. Besides, you don't need to do anything. A grateful listener is a value of modern society.
3. Practice your own communication skills with strangers every day. A simple question from a saleswoman in a store, a person standing in line, etc. is enough.
4. Learn to make eye contact when speaking.
5. Stop taking any statements from others to heart. All fears are formed in the mental activity of the patient.

You can make your first attempts by telephone or Internet connection. You can get rid of fear by correspondence. But the voice conversation itself should be the next step towards overcoming the phobia.

Conclusion

Not all people are sociable. Some people feel afraid of their interlocutor. It is important to learn to get rid of the signs of such a problem, to control yourself in order to experience all the delights of life in society.

How to overcome the fear of communication? There is only one way out - you need to rationalize your thoughts and gradually develop live communication skills.

There should be no problems with such methods, since we live in the era of Internet technologies that can be used for the benefit of our mental health.

Communication is a normal part of every person’s life. With the help of communications, experience and knowledge are transferred, and social needs are satisfied. But in the modern world, when the number of contacts increases, fear of communication often arises.

Social phobia is the fear of communicative interactions with other people. This ailment falls within the competence of a psychologist and can be successfully treated during classes.

There are these types of fears:

• communication with people;
• contacts with strangers;
• communication with high-ranking people;
• fear of telephone conversations.

The problem of phobia is easier to solve if the root cause of this phenomenon is established. The main factors are the following:

• criticism of significant adults (parents, teachers, bosses);
• ridicule of peers: classmates, friends;
• poor start to conversation;
• poor public performance and more.

The main signs of social phobia are:

• palpitations when communicating;
• trembling, sweating, muscle tension;
• dry mouth, headache and feeling hot;
• facial redness,
• disturbances in the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract, abdominal pain.

Social phobia greatly interferes with study and work, negatively affects personal life and can even cause divorce. That is why the disease requires urgent overcoming. Moreover, the patient himself should be interested in treatment, since it happens that fear of communication is only a means of attracting attention.

Fear of communicating with people

Communication requires at least two people. If a person communicates daily and works in an office, then he is unlikely to face social phobia.

Communication skills tend to be lost:

1. Categories of people such as housewives, young mothers, people who, for certain reasons, have been without full communication with new people for a long time.
2. For some people, fear of communication may be related to hypertrophied dependence and inflated self-esteem your image. Such people, as a rule, have no friends and avoid communication so that no one can destroy their ideal image. If communication does occur, but such a person is not in the zone of attention or is subjected to jokes and ridicule, then he withdraws into himself for a long time.
3. Insecure people They are also unsociable, but the reason for their fear lies elsewhere. They are afraid of being underestimated and misunderstood. Self-doubt gives rise to isolation, which aggravates the situation, making the sociopath unsociable, withdrawn and aloof even with close relatives. Such people believe that they are owed everything, that they are not given enough attention and love.
4. Young mothers For a long time they are forced to communicate only with the child. Because of this, they have the idea that they are unfulfilled and unattractive, which gives rise to an inferiority complex. In this case, family relationships are also at risk.

With strangers

Communication with strangers is traumatic for an ordinary person, but for those who have a fear of communication, it may be completely impossible.

A stranger is full of secrets and dangers; he is unpredictable in his reactions and attitude towards what is happening. All this frightens sociopathic individuals, preventing not only the communication process itself, but even acquaintance and the first stages of communication.

With the opposite sex

Communication with the opposite sex has a lot of features and at the same time causes most problems for those who have a fear of communication.

Young men are especially susceptible to this, because the right to take the first step remains with them:

1. Young men are not confident in their attractiveness and are so embarrassed by the opposite sex that they prefer to experience their feelings in silence, suppressing emotions.
2. There is another side to the fear of communicating with the opposite sex - excessive rudeness. Boys are either openly rude to girls, or have several relationships at the same time, trying to prove to their friends that they are cool. In fact, behind such a mask there is a fearful, insecure teenager hiding.

Psychologists believe that fear of communication affects health, causing not only psychological, but also physical discomfort. Various tics, obsessive movements, etc. may appear. This also aggravates the situation and requires deeper psychological work.

Women often suffer from a fear of communicating with men. This feature begins to develop in them in childhood.

How the girl’s mother treats herself and her child is very important:

• If she considers herself beautiful, adequately evaluates her appearance and loves herself, then the girl is not at risk of sociopathy.
• But if the mother does not love herself and takes it out on the child, humiliating her dignity, saying that she is ugly or not like everyone else, then this is a direct path to the child’s sociopathy at a very early age.

With high-ranking officials

The fear of communicating with superiors at work or with those whom a person considers superior to himself is often revealed: teachers, celebrities, etc.

This fear is easy to overcome, since contacts are usually quite frequent and formal in nature:

1. To overcome fear, you just need to turn to the biographies of such people. In childhood, they were all ordinary boys and girls, so you shouldn’t be afraid of communicating with them. It is necessary to see them as people first, and then status.
2. To defuse the situation, you can directly talk about your feelings. This will not only allow you to have a more sincere conversation and overcome fear, but also gain the respect of a high-ranking official due to your courage and openness.

By phone

At work and at home, you need to answer phone calls. Some people are afraid to do this because the phone is also a means of communication between two people.

Sociopathic individuals believe that they have a strange and ugly voice on the phone, that the person on the other end of the line laughs at them, and so on.

This type of social phobia is less dangerous, but also requires work on oneself.

Social phobia in children

Social phobia is considered a mental illness, but in children it can be a consequence of improper upbringing.

Typically, the disease begins in adolescence during puberty: a changing body, voice, and appearance raise many questions among young men and at the same time give rise to complexes.

But the first phenomena that can lead to illness in the future can be identified already at school.

If in children of kindergarten age mild social phobia is considered the norm, then at school age, when the child first encounters the model of a “society of strangers,” social phobia is unacceptable.

New faces offer stricter rules for the child and have a lower level of acceptance of the child for who he is compared to the family circle and kindergarten group.

If the child is unable to adapt to new conditions (and this happens in 50% of cases), then the help of a psychologist is required.

Socially significant situations for a child at school are:

• communication with strangers;
• conversations with teachers, answers at the blackboard;
• carrying out their actions under supervision.

In addition, a shy child over 7 years of age may experience discomfort when eating with new people, which is especially problematic since children often simply refuse to eat.

Approximately 40% of children refuse to go to school at all due to the emergence of strong uncontrollable feelings of anxiety. For this reason, work on socialization must begin from a very early age, attending various events with the child, introducing him to many new people.

The main signs of the development of social phobia are:

• refusal to go to school;
• does not communicate with peers;
• does not come into contact with teachers, psychologist;
• refuses to go to the board;
• At home he is afraid to fall asleep alone.

The normal reaction of parents is to have a conversation and stop a social phobia attack with the phrase: “Pull yourself together, you’re already big.” Threats in this case are unacceptable, since they will only aggravate the situation, and the child will include his parents among the dangerous persons.

How to overcome

Treatment for social anxiety takes time. Usually the fear of communicating with people goes away for six months. During this time, the psychologist struggles with the cause of the phobia, teaches the child to deal with frightening situations, and relaxes him. In severe cases, psychotropic drugs and psychotherapy are prescribed.

There is no need to be afraid of taking medications, since modern medications are not addictive and do not have withdrawal symptoms.

Parents should take an active position and contribute in every possible way to the child’s recovery by conducting therapy at home in the form of play methods and fairy tale therapy.

• realize that fear of communication is not at all a sign of a strong personality and ideal self;
• stop “putting labels” on other people;
• choose a job where there is communication with people, albeit moderate;
• do everyday things with maximum communication: friends, colleagues, household members;
• It’s worth defending your opinion, your needs.

In general, the recommendations are quite simple. Only he himself can help a person with social phobia. Otherwise, no therapy will help. There is no need to set clear goals for yourself, as they increase anxiety, but you need to systematically and purposefully work on yourself.

Psychologists have developed a number of tips for people who want to get rid of communication problems:

1. Learn to make eye contact. At first, you can do this on the Internet: communicate on forums, comment on photos. After this, you need to go to the store more often and communicate with sellers while shopping.
2. Master the phone. This method is easier than real communication, so before moving on to personal interaction, you can try doing it over the phone.
3. Go to real contact. During this period, it is necessary to contact strangers with requests, in stores to agree to the sales assistant asking for help, etc.

Thus, social phobia is a serious problem. Today, a person in modern society cannot live without knowing the methods of effective communication. That is why overcoming communication problems should be task No. 1 for any person.

Video: A word from a specialist

Video: Training

Fear of communicating with people: how to stop being afraid of social contacts

Despite the fact that every person from early childhood comes into contact with other representatives of society, for some individuals it is the need for communication and the very process of conversation itself that are sources of significant discomfort. The fear of communicating with people manifests itself in varying degrees of severity.

Some people occasionally experience minor difficulties when interacting with the human community. For other individuals, the fear of communicating with people takes the form of severe mental disorders called social phobias. In such situations, the individual is unable to overcome the irrational and obsessive fear of communication on his own, and to get rid of the phobia, the help of a competent doctor is required.

No matter how intensely and regularly a person is overcome by fear of communication, the presence of such an unpleasant phenomenon is an abnormal situation, but it can be overcome. We will discuss further what are the prerequisites for the development of a pathological fear of communication and what measures should be taken to establish harmonious interaction in society.

How the fear of communicating with people manifests itself: types of difficulties

Fear of social contacts manifests itself in many variations. Let us describe the most common manifestations of fear of communication.

The palm goes to logically inexplicable anxiety, which takes over the subject’s mind in anticipation or directly in the process of speaking in public. Irrational fear of communication literally paralyzes the will of the individual, depriving him of the power of speech.

An equally common form of fear of communication is the illogical fear of establishing contacts with people of the opposite sex. The person experiences severe psycho-emotional stress and feels painful “vegetative surprises” in the form of rapid heartbeat and tremors of the limbs when it is expected that they will meet a person of a different gender.

An abnormal fear of communication makes a person defenseless in situations where it is necessary to express one’s point of view, defend a personal opinion, and protect one’s own interests. An individual, dependent on an irrational fear of communication, becomes dumb like a fish, acting to the detriment of personal needs and putting an end to his own prospects.

Another form of fear of communication is a person’s inability to express his emotions out loud, talk to others about feelings, or communicate desires. He is very firmly held captive by painful anxiety, so he does not dare to express his own experiences even to a close partner. Over time, such “cooking in one’s own juice” becomes the cause of a person’s embitterment: the subject withdraws into himself and fiercely hates the whole wide world.

An equally insidious guise of fear of communication is excessive shyness and excessive tactfulness of the individual. A pathological shy person is afraid to object to others and cannot say a firm “no” to other people’s requests. The inability to refuse and obedient fulfillment of all the demands of the social environment leads to the fact that a person finds herself in the status of a “barge hauler”, who is forced to pull an unbearable burden.

What causes fear of communication: reasons for fear

The main source of fear of communication is the dependent personality type. Such a subject is an insecure, indecisive, shy, overly modest person. This individual has low self-esteem and considers himself guilty of all mortal sins. He is afraid of “evaluative” glances, comments and criticism addressed to him. He is afraid that he will not be accepted into some team and will become an outcast from society.

It is worth noting that some individuals who are addicted to fear of communication secretly dream of being an authoritative leader and want to control the crowd. However, such aspirations in reality remain as dreams, and people continue to play the role of a “gray mouse”. This paradox can be explained by the lack of a strong inner core and lack of sufficient knowledge of how to gain a good reputation in society.

Fear of communication often comes from the inability and unwillingness to learn about the world around us, from the inability to understand other people. Such an individual does not seem to see the personal characteristics of the interlocutor, does not hear the statements of other people, does not know how to interpret the manifestations of other people’s emotions, and does not distinguish between intonation shades. In fact, communicating with such a “blind and deaf” person is tantamount to addressing speeches to an impenetrable wall. Subsequent fiascoes in relationships over time form a negative emotional charge in the subconscious. The subject's predominant feelings are resentment, regret, anxiety, and loss of spirit. Naturally, such negative experiences trigger a negative subconscious program that controls a person’s life.

Very often, fear of communication is rooted in early childhood. Family and social institutions often make significant efforts to “break” the child’s personality, trying to build the child’s character according to their “correct” canons. In the future, state structures maintain uncertainty about their own potential. The media are successfully cultivating doubts about the future, which is reinforced by the changing state economic policy and the country's instability in the political arena. Indeed, intimidated and dependent individuals are very easy to manage. And it is easier and more convenient for an individual to climb into a cocoon, existing with the fear of communication all his life.

How to overcome the fear of communication: ways to solve the problem

We cannot achieve a high level of communicative competence if we do not take adequate action. To overcome the fear of communication once and for all, it is necessary to take measures to completely eliminate the irrational components of fear and subsequently acquire positive experience in social contacts. In the first case, hypnosis sessions can eliminate the unconscious subconscious program that triggers fear reactions. In the future, persistent, consistent daily training will help you get rid of the conscious components of anxiety. Let us describe the stages in more detail.

Step 1. Eliminate the negative life scenario

Thanks to immersion in a hypnotic trance, strict censorship of consciousness is eliminated and access to the unconscious mechanisms of the psyche becomes open. In a state of natural half-asleep, it is possible to find out the real factors that the subject fears and establish the reasons for the fear of communication. During hypnosis, the client “remembers” the most unpleasant circumstances when interacting in society. However, a person experiences such a “terrible” situation in comfortable conditions, and with the help of a hypnologist adequately interprets the drama that occurred.

During hypnosis sessions, a person realizes the cause of his complexes and, on a subconscious level, transforms the destructive program into a positive life scenario. Suggestion during hypnosis ensures the formation of correct self-esteem and the motivation required for transformation. As a result of a course of hypnosis, a person is freed from the irrational components of the fear of communication and gains the opportunity for further practical development of communication techniques.

Step 2. Train practical skills

It is impossible to become an excellent swimmer without getting into the water. Likewise, fear of communication cannot be eliminated if you do not interact with other people. True liberation from irrational anxiety is possible if you daily train your communication skills, try some new techniques, and experiment with behavior. Even if the first attempts become unfortunate failures, changes will certainly occur over time, and the fear of communication will be eliminated. To overcome our fear, we persistently follow the rules of harmonious interaction in society:

• we do not anticipate our own abnormal reactions;
• we don’t think about what others will think of us;
• We do not make an object of worship out of our fear of communication;
• We make it a rule to enter into dialogue at the slightest appropriate opportunity;
• We try to exchange at least two remarks with strangers every day;
• we focus our attention directly on the process of interaction with the interlocutor;
• We don’t focus on our feelings;
• We carefully monitor the opponent’s gestures, facial expressions and intonation;
• we look for convincing arguments to defend our opinion;
• We remember that we never owe anyone anything;
• we act exclusively in accordance with our life principles;
• we ignore unconstructive criticism;
• we ignore the gossip behind our backs;
• We carefully study and analyze the possible intrigues of others and choose countermeasures.

Remember:The fear of communication and the habit of avoiding contact that has been nurtured for decades cannot be eliminated in one week. We persevere, act consistently, develop self-discipline, and eventually our fear of contact will be eliminated forever.

Audio recordings for the treatment of phobias and immersion in ultra-deep stages of hypnosis.

“- Please tell me where should I go from here?
-Where do you want to go? - answered the Cat.
“I don’t care...” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter where you go,” said the Cat.
“...just to get somewhere,” Alice explained.
“You’ll definitely end up somewhere,” said the Cat. “You just have to walk long enough.”

Somnambulism (deep stage of hypnosis) is a mode of brain operation in which all mental forces are subordinated to one idea or feeling. The criterion for achieving this state can be considered amnesia (memory loss) and hallucinations (with eyes closed).

• Audio recordings for achieving ultra-deep stages of hypnosis.

For therapeutic purposes, “light somnambulism” is usually used - the middle stage of hypnosis (two points according to Katkov, the level of eyelid catalepsy in Elman’s induction), but even this level of immersion will require courage. It will be necessary to give up everyday fears about hypnosis (“they will turn you into zombies, break your psyche”) and think about why the two-century practice of using hypnosis in medicine has not led to licensing of hypnotherapy activities? Having answered this question in yourself, think about the purpose of immersion in a somnambulist. Do you want to get rid of a psychosomatic illness or just experience the feeling of hypnotic nirvana? Both are good, but in the first case you need to be prepared for the fact that at some stage familiar symptoms will arise. After all, you want to get rid of them? Then, while listening to the recording, you will have to not only put up with them, but also hold on to them and even savor them. This is necessary so that the process of therapy can begin in the free layers of the psyche that you have uncovered.

Please use audio recordings freely. You can turn on any of them from the place where you can surrender to the surging emotions: sob excitedly, and laugh convulsively, and have hysterics, and express thoughts out loud. You can use both tracks alternately, switching from the first to the second or vice versa as soon as any obstacle arises. The main thing is not to forget that this is not a treatment, but a “tester” - a game of hypnotherapy. The hypnostimulator is designed to create an advertising and propaganda effect so that you become more serious about the possibilities of hypnotherapy. Therefore, the smoothing or even complete disappearance of painful symptoms should not mislead you - you simply have the opportunity to make sure that hypnotherapy is indicated for you. Now you know for sure that you should make an appointment with a live specialist to undergo a full course of treatment.

Fear of communication is understood as an unconscious desire to avoid all interaction with others. In this case, a person may understand the presence of a problem quite well, but often cannot cope with it on his own. Of course, such manifestations cause a lot of suffering. The individual in this case experiences extreme awkwardness when the need arises to somehow interact with others. He limits himself to contacts to avoid unnecessary disappointment. For him, public speaking generally becomes akin to a real disaster. Such fear can be present in a person’s life for a long time and hinder his socialization.

Causes

No phobia develops just like that, out of nowhere. Everything in life has its reasons. To help yourself free yourself from such internal imprisonment, you need to understand in more detail the reasons for what is happening. Let's take a closer look at them.

Strict parents

Upbringing leaves an imprint on your entire life. We unconsciously act towards ourselves in the same way as our mother and father treated us. The experiences gained in early childhood are unconsciously transferred into adulthood. Often how our parents scolded us, and then we limit ourselves. Self-judgment, the habit of constantly being in a bad mood, pronounced self-criticism come from here. If an individual experienced a lot of negative emotions in childhood and was not allowed to reveal his uniqueness, then he will have a very difficult time during the period of personal development. Many people withdraw so much into themselves that they do not want to make any attempts at action at all. Such a person will be afraid to take risks and act in the direction in which his soul requires. Sometimes parents themselves do not realize how much they cripple the lives of their children and do not allow them to be themselves. By setting rigid boundaries and stereotypes, they undermine their son or daughter’s self-confidence and destroy the desire to follow their own individual impulses. As a result, a persistent fear of doing something wrong appears, uncertainty and fear of communication grows.

Negative experience

It also happens that an individual faces a negative assessment from society. As a rule, this occurs during childhood or adolescence. When faced with ridicule from classmates or outright bullying, not everyone finds the internal resources to adequately respond to the situation. Most simply withdraw into themselves and do not want to take active action. Negative experiences always have a negative impact on personal development and prevent the emergence of understanding between people. In the future, there may be a fear of speaking first and meeting people in public places. It often happens that a person, even in his own family, remains lonely and misunderstood. He can hardly explain to himself why this happened, but he clearly feels a persistent rejection of his own essence. In this case, his individuality is suppressed under the pressure of social demands.

Closedness

Such a distinctive feature as unsociability also creates significant barriers to communication. An individual cannot relax even in a familiar environment, because he constantly expects betrayal from those around him. He is afraid that the situation will suddenly get out of control. Being withdrawn is the reason why you have few or no friends. If an individual cannot open up in communication, then it becomes quite difficult for him to concentrate on the conversation. He does not know how to conduct a conversation, he often lacks certain communication skills. If you are unhappy with your life, you are depressed by loneliness, then you need to sort yourself out. Blaming others for your own failures is unlikely to help. You need to understand that people are not all bad, and not everyone is going to cause you mental pain. In fact, the reason lies in you, in your behavior. Isolation provokes isolation from the world and prevents the establishment of normal mutual understanding between interlocutors.

Inability to trust

The inability to trust is a common reason why a person remains alone in the most difficult moments of his life. This mainly manifests itself in the fear of communicating with strangers. A persistent thought is formed in the head that after internal self-disclosure, bitter disappointment will certainly follow. As a rule, a person chooses a convenient and safe social circle for himself and does not let anyone outside. Such an individual avoids new acquaintances and does not want to attend various exhibitions and interesting events. The inability to trust is a false belief that others will definitely cause internal pain and make you doubt your abilities. In most cases, the individual does not even make any attempts to correct the situation, because he is very afraid to act. The inability to trust is a problem that often cannot be overcome even over a long period of time. After all, every new attempt can lead to aggravation of the situation.

Manifestations of fear of communication

Recognizing the fear of communicating with people is quite easy. To do this, you just need to pay attention to your own behavior or the behavior of your relative or friend. It is difficult not to notice this, because social ill-being is striking. Let's take a closer look at ways of expressing fear.

Shyness

When an individual suffers from social phobia, this is necessarily expressed through shyness. A guy or girl can be so timid that it's really hard to imagine. They refuse not only to participate in public life, but to at least somehow express their position. For such people, defending an individual opinion is generally akin to a real feat. Shyness hinders self-realization and prevents the identification and development of strong character traits. It is worth noting that everyone has positive traits, but not everyone is ready to make certain efforts for their own development. If you have a habit of being shy, it means that it will be difficult for you to show your individuality in any matter.

Feeling isolated from the world

When we are afraid to communicate with the world, a feeling of isolation and isolation from the people around us arises. It seems to a person that he is alone in the whole world, and no one can help him solve the problem. This happens for the reason that a person unconsciously isolates himself. Having gotten used to refusing the help of others, he no longer hopes for them in the future. He makes it clear that he does not want to contact the world in any way due to his mistrust. Fear greatly limits him and makes him begin to doubt himself. The feeling of being cut off from the world is dangerous because it teaches a person to consider himself a victim in any situation. A person stops fighting and relies entirely on the fact that those around him will someday notice and understand him. Of course, this is a deliberately flawed approach that yields nothing but severe disappointment. The more a person withdraws into himself, the more difficult it becomes to find a decent way out of the situation.

Feeling exclusive

A person who is afraid of people gets used to considering himself an exceptional creature. He cultivates the behavior of a victim, and therefore does not want to change his rules and attitudes. It often seems to such people that everyone is unfairly offending them. They may complain to others about misunderstanding or pretend that they were wronged in vain. Such a person gets used to considering himself a misunderstood genius, a victim of the universe. It doesn’t occur to him to start analyzing his actions and actions. After all, it becomes much easier to blame others for your failures. The feeling of exclusivity is a derivative of arrogance and pride. It’s just that the fear of interacting with others is so strong that it does not allow them to take tentative steps towards the desired result. The individual does not make any attempts to feel better, to free himself from oppressive experiences.

Low self-esteem

A person who suffers from a fear of communication does not know how to value himself. He does not understand that he, too, has his own strengths, like everyone else around him. Rather, he has a fear of receiving society’s disapproval, of being misunderstood and condemned. Often such individuals do not pay any attention to their talents and do not develop their existing abilities. They feel that their own skills mean nothing and are worthless. Low self-esteem does not allow you to identify your best character traits and somehow express your talents. The personality is overly focused on its own shortcomings, it lacks the courage to start moving forward. Finding himself in such a situation, a person always finds weighty arguments to somehow justify his inaction: bad luck in life, no opportunities and talents. In fact, there are no aspirations and healthy ambitions. Such an individual does not know what he wants to achieve in life and does not know how to cope with even the most basic tasks. It soon turns out that there is absolutely no one to try for: there are no friends, close relatives do not always understand and do not share his experiences. Low self-esteem is always the result of an incorrect attitude towards life, the people around you and yourself.

Avoidance of social contacts

Fear of social interaction often forces an individual to avoid all contact. He simply begins to avoid people, fearing that they will cause him great mental pain and make him experience colossal disappointment. A person may not leave the house for weeks, shutting himself off from everyone and everything within four walls. This line of behavior is due to the fear of disappointment. Avoiding social contacts does not lead to the formation of trust; rather, on the contrary, it scares people away. People around him begin to perceive such a person as abnormal, avoiding normal communication. The greater the mistrust, the greater the gap between the individual and the outside world becomes. The person becomes even more affirmed in his exclusivity and finally becomes locked in on the problem.

Fear of public speaking

It is impossible to get rid of the fear of communication if a person does not make any attempts to somehow work on himself. Personal development cannot be carried out without conscious desire. When there is a pronounced fear of communication, there is no opportunity to speak in public. The individual is seized with such panic that he has hardly ever experienced before. Under any pretext, he will refuse the opportunity to express himself and express his own feelings. Fear of public speaking greatly limits personal development. As a result, a person generally ceases to understand what he needs from life.

How to get rid of the fear of communicating with people

Many people think about how to overcome the fear of communication. I must admit that it causes great discomfort and makes you doubt your capabilities. If a person does not find the strength to fight, then he has to doom himself to loneliness and a completely joyless existence. How to overcome the expressed fear of interacting with people? Let's try to figure it out.

Constant practice

If you constantly sit and sigh how bad everything is, nothing will change. Only with the help of constant practice does it become possible to reduce the level of anxiety. Train, try to communicate with those who are nearby. There is no need to be upset by temporary setbacks. Remember that your goal is to acquire a new useful skill.

Taking responsibility

When thinking about how to get rid of the fear of communication, you need to try in advance to take full responsibility for the result. Understand that no one can change your life for you. It's not other people's fault that you can't build relationships with them. It always seems to us that the main cause of all troubles lies in the world around us, but in reality everything is in our perception. It is necessary to learn to look at things soberly, without illusions and enthusiasm. Then you will be able to overcome unnecessary suffering and become more independent.

Nurturing Confidence

Self-confidence is not an empty phrase. It is necessary to pay attention to what level it is at. Working with self-esteem includes the ability to adequately assess one’s strengths. It is unacceptable to constantly belittle yourself; this will not correct the situation. Sometimes you have to cultivate self-confidence, and through your own efforts. Don't be afraid to act and fight!

Thus, the fear of communicating with people is the result of improper upbringing and a distorted attitude to life. A person ceases to value his own personality and strive for any achievements. If you are suffering from such a problem, do not hesitate to seek help from a psychologist. Consultations with Irakli Pozharisky will help restore peace of mind and restore a sense of self-confidence.

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