Applications for developing emotional intelligence. Is it true that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ? How to do it

We want ourselves and our children to be successful and happy. But we often forget that it is impossible to put an equal sign between these concepts. You can be successful, but still feel unhappy all the time. Or you can constantly experience difficulties in your studies or career, but treat them not as a tragedy, but as a step forward.

Why are emotions so important?

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

Charles Swindoll, writer

The modern world is full stressful situations, which are difficult to cope with even for adults, not to mention children. They do not understand and do not know what emotions they experience at one time or another, or how to manage them, so they have a distorted idea of ​​what is happening. This leads to neuroses, apathy and other depressive states.

The inflated demands of teachers, instilling in a small individual the importance of victory and superiority (many want to be the parents of winners) - all this is too heavy a load for fragile children's shoulders. The heavier this load, the more important it is to deal with the child’s feelings and experiences.

Already in adult life We see that people who cannot control their emotions have troubles in all areas of life, including in their careers.

When a man is covered negative emotions and cannot objectively assess his feelings, desires and capabilities, a destructive effect is guaranteed.

Relationships with others deteriorate, a person withdraws into himself, loses faith in himself, his strengths or his professionalism, becomes irritable, and becomes even more confused in his feelings. And then the question arises: “What level of emotional intelligence does he have?”

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is responsible for recognizing and correctly interpreting emotions. It is he who gives a person psychological flexibility and the ability to effectively interact with the world around him.

That is why the concept " emotional intellect“was first voiced in relation to career building and self-realization. However, psychologists immediately caught the infantile subtext in this, because the fundamental development of personality occurs precisely in childhood.

For a child, the development of EQ is an opportunity to create an established and understandable system of perception that will allow you to effectively interact with people around you, correctly perceive criticism, recognize the feelings of adults and peers and adequately respond to them.

Aggression, apathy, bad dream, absent-mindedness, inability to establish contacts with peers and other alarming manifestations in a child’s behavior are obvious signals that indicate the need to develop emotional intelligence.

How to develop emotional intelligence from childhood?

The most important thing in the life of any child is parental love. Love your child, show him tenderness and care. Tactile communication between mother and child does not lose its significance for children older than infancy.

Love allows every person to feel protected and confident. This is a reliable foundation for the development of a successful personality.

In addition, it is very important to create the right associations with different emotions. Show your child the real example what is joy? Perhaps it's the smell of cake? Maybe the ringing of a bell? What about friendship? Do you associate friendship with hugs? If not, then what does it look like in your mind?

Create a colorful and bright world, in which every feeling and sensation has its own color, aroma and taste. This way you will not only open the doors to the world of emotions for your child, but also get closer to him and further strengthen the trust between you.

A similar method works with . Don't just read, but play fairy tales, tell them to children magical stories through the game or small performance. Act out a scene in front of them, use tactile sensations, aromatic oils, appropriate intonation - this will allow the child to feel the whole gamut of sincere emotions that a magical story evokes.

Each of these methods is well described in our book “Monsiki. What are emotions and how to be friends with them.” Ours, because we created it together with my son Gleb, based on our own experience. It can be safely called detailed instructions for parents, where one of the most effective methods EQ development is shown through interaction with fairy-tale characters Monsikami. Each one represents a specific emotion and has skills that will help children understand and cope with those emotions in a variety of ways. Monsies are kind fairy creatures, and a fairy tale is best perceived by a child.

Working on emotional intelligence in childhood is the key to successful development and well-being in the future.

Most likely, such a child, as an adult, will be able to avoid most of the psychological problems that modern society faces us with today.

Children are more receptive to everything new, their psyche is like plasticine - flexible and ingenuous. But what will be molded from this plasticine often depends only on the adults. So let's start with ourselves.

Simple exercises to develop EQ

The methodology for developing EQ is simple and straightforward, but requires care and regular implementation. Here are the simplest and most effective exercises.

Mindfulness Exercises

Emotional diary

To learn to be aware of yourself here and now, write down every three hours the emotion you experience in this moment. At the end of the day, identify the dominant emotion and think about what you need to work on.

In a couple of weeks you will learn to feel yourself in real time without any difficulties.

This exercise will be made more effective by a kind of checking - an analysis of the physical state when experiencing a certain emotion. This practice is also good for improving health.

Stop!

How often are our actions accompanied by ? We don’t think about what we are doing, but simply perform some familiar, regular manipulations. Exercise “Stop!” consists of abruptly interrupting any action in order to get rid of inertia and allow yourself to think about the situation. This is the only way to feel yourself here and now, to begin to control your reality.

Exercises to improve self-esteem

What a luck!

Teach yourself to think positively, reacting even to unpleasant events with the phrase: “What luck!” Such a reaction will be a surprise to others, but this fact will also benefit you, because then you will find even more advantages in the situation. To enhance the effect, you can use the phrase: “This is so great because...”. Why? Think about it.

Sell ​​your weakness

An effective technique that allows you to interpret even negative sides personality in a positive way. Tell the audience about your shortcoming in other words, give it a different color. For example, can caution be considered cowardice, and courage - recklessness? But it all depends on which side you look at it from. The synthon approach is based on a positive approach to development. He says: you have no shortcomings, you have features.

It is necessary to develop your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

With this approach, you can sell any of your shortcomings. For example, sell uncertainty. Tell your audience honestly and truthfully how you have this quality before committing important step consider all options for events, look closely at various solutions, and only after that take the most beneficial step for you.

Exercises to develop motivation

Openness to new things

To develop this valuable quality, you can use a simple, but very effective exercise, which is to find as many possible applications as possible ordinary things. Let it be an ordinary towel, an old bucket or just a piece of cardboard. Come up with greatest number options for how to use these things. It's not only interesting, but also fun. Therefore, practice this exercise with your family and children. They will have a great time and work on their imagination and ingenuity.

Two random words

Open any book or magazine, randomly select two words from the text and try to find something in common between them. Compare them, analyze, reflect and make connections. It's effective and fun.

Exercise to increase adaptability

Finally - known method Elevator Pitch - presentation of your business project in 30–60 seconds. Imagine that you are your own business project. Start presenting yourself as brightly as possible, while remaining honest with yourself.

To get started, use this template:

1. Profession.
2. Hobby.
3. How am I changing the world for the better?

Each of these exercises will help you become a better person emotionally and psychological sense. However, emotional intelligence should not be perceived as a universal key to success. Life is quite multifaceted. So improve your mind, body, soul and love yourself. After all, the only thing we have control over in this world is ourselves.

Most of you are probably familiar with the concept of intelligence level or IQ, and many have probably taken IQ tests at school, university or at work. Thus, the first technique for measuring mental abilities such as memory, attention and decision making logic problems, created by Alfred Binet in the early 1900s, became very popular and spread throughout the world. Well, after refinement by researchers and scientists, this technique turned into the IQ tests familiar to all of you. And today, most psychologists use tests to measure intelligence and, based on the results, try to determine whether this or that job is suitable for him. And there seem to be no complaints about IQ tests, everything is smooth and smooth, and most importantly, it works. But is it possible, based on the results of such tests, to obtain an adequate assessment of human abilities?

One of the problems that psychologists constantly faced was that some people, although possessing a fairly high level of intelligence, were completely unable to manage their emotions. On the other hand, a person with a relatively low level of intellectual ability surprisingly showed enough high level emotional stability and had good control over his emotions. Similar examples from life different people from all over the world made researchers think about creating an additional scale that would allow them to measure the level of a person’s emotional abilities. It was very difficult to do this, but already in 1990 the first attempt to define emotional intelligence was published by Salovyom and Mayer and it sounded like this: “Emotional intelligence is the ability to control the feelings and emotions of one’s own and other people, as well as recognize them and use this information for guidance in your thoughts and actions."

In more scientific terms, a definition of emotional intelligence might look like this: “ Emotional intelligence is emotional awareness and emotion management skills that provide the ability to create a balance between emotions and reason with the goal of achieving greater happiness in the long term." Having a high level of emotional intelligence means being able to recognize your emotions and change them according to at will. So, good memory and the ability to solve problems are not sufficient to be considered truly reasonable person, but add here the ability to manage your emotions and we see everything in a completely different light. Emotional intelligence makes it possible to acquire and apply knowledge about your emotions and the emotions of other people and make your life more complete and rich in joyful events and vivid emotions. By developing emotional intelligence, we become better able to control our own life, and most importantly - to get more pleasure from it.

If you want to roughly assess your level of emotional intelligence, answer the following questions:

• 1. Do you know how to express your feelings?
• 2. Do you listen to other people's opinions?
• 3. When you are stressed, do you act intelligently?
• 4. Do you easily adapt to unexpected changes in your life?
• 5. Do you take responsibility for your actions and actions?
• 6. Do you know how to recognize your emotions as they arise?
• 7. Do you control your strong emotions and impulses?

Even one answer “no” to the above questions indicates that your level of emotional intelligence is not high enough, especially if you answer the seventh question in the negative. Many researchers tend to believe that the inability to cope with stress can not only harm a person’s well-being, but also reduce his emotional abilities, leading to the so-called temporary setback. Subsequently, if you do not take decisive steps to eliminate stress and manage your emotions, you may notice that your behavior becomes less and less appropriate. It is important that this process can be reversed, but this will require serious work on yourself.

You probably know about most of the mental skills required for a high IQ, but what skills does a high level of emotional intelligence include? Peter Salovey and John Mayer, in their definition of emotional intelligence, identified abilities in five main areas. So.

Emotional intelligence includes:

1. Self-awareness. This is emotional awareness, which includes the ability to identify the emotions present in us, identify connections between our emotions and the reasons that led to their appearance, and also predict their appearance in future situations and circumstances.

2. Managing emotions. This is the ability to promptly get rid of such negative manifestations as anxiety, anger and stress. It is also the ability to use the energy of negative emotions to solve your problems without getting stuck in them or attaching too much importance to them.

3. Self-motivation. This is the ability to focus on a goal, emotional self-control, in which you refrain from satisfying immediate needs for the sake of long-term gain, or go through unpleasant experiences for this if it is really necessary.

4. Recognizing other people's emotions. Sympathy plays important role V social life people, and is one of the components of a high level of emotional awareness. Interestingly, sensitivity to subtle social cues and the ability to determine how others are feeling are some of the most important skills for achieving success in your personal and professional life.

5. Relationship management. “He who knows how to manage other people is successful, he who knows how to manage himself is great” - this is approximately how one ancient truth goes. But let's rephrase it: by being able to manage your emotions, you develop the potential to manage the emotions of other people. This is how true leaders are born, and how the highest levels of emotional intelligence are achieved.

It is possible that you have already achieved success in any of the listed areas, but this is just the beginning and you just need further development your emotional skills if you want to achieve a high level of emotional intelligence. Let it happen already achieved success will become the basis for a confident upward movement.

How to develop emotional intelligence?

In fact, no matter how much emotional intelligence you have, you have already achieved some success because emotional development each of us begins in early age and continues throughout life. And even if this does not always happen consciously, development still occurs. Of course, we go through most of the journey in childhood and adolescence, when most of our emotional habits, however, even if you are unhappy with your level of emotional intelligence and you do not like your character, you can still fix it. True, this will become more difficult the older you get. In addition, you will need to be prepared for the fact that you most likely will not be able to change some of your character traits, which means you will need to learn to accept yourself as you are, although if you have the desire, there will be a way.

What skills are needed for high levels of emotional intelligence?

Below are a few skills that will help you improve your emotional intelligence. We will look at three types of skills, namely emotional skills, cognitive and behavioral skills.

Emotional Skills:

• Identifying and defining emotions– emotional awareness, that is, the ability to recognize the emotions inherent in us as they arise and predict their occurrence. This is also knowledge of what they are.
• Expressing emotions– the ability to express one’s emotions without holding back or suppressing them, and, if necessary, expressing them in a safe way.
• Assessing the intensity of emotions– how your emotions manifest themselves, brightly or weakly.
• Managing Emotions– the ability to evoke the necessary emotions, or eliminate them as they arise, or change them if necessary.
• Abstaining from momentary pleasure– the ability to control your desires in order to achieve your goals.
• Pulse control– the ability to weaken the controlling influence of strong emotions and gain the upper hand over them.
• Knowing the difference between emotions and reason– understanding when your actions are dictated by your emotional impulses, and when your actions are thought out and logical.

Cognitive Skills:

• Positive attitude– to life, to the surrounding reality, to ourselves, the understanding that being negative is extremely unproductive.
• – the ability to direct thoughts in a positive direction - to solve problems without hanging on negative thoughts.
• Reading and Interpreting Social Signals– recognition of social influence on your behavior, determination of your role in society.
• Understanding other people's points of view– the ability to put oneself in other people’s shoes.
• Understanding behavioral norms– knowledge of what and where is considered acceptable and what is not.
• Planning– step-by-step achievement of your goals, setting goals, identifying alternative paths, anticipating consequences.
• Self-awareness– living in the present, the ability to think about the past or future only if it is necessary and benefits you.

Behavioral skills:

• Nonverbal methods of communication– the ability to act confidently in any place, even if you don’t feel confident inside, that is, this presupposes excellent knowledge of body language.
• Verbal methods of communication– development of speech skills - confident, clear and vivid speech.
• Internal self-control– control of your body, identifying and preventing unconscious impulses and movements.
• Healthy Habits– exercise, nutrition, everything that helps strengthen your body.

This seems like enough information to get started, and as you can probably tell, there's a lot of work ahead, but don't let that scare you, because as long as you move forward, you're getting closer to success. One of the good news is that the skills listed in this article will not only help you increase your level of emotional awareness, but will advance you in every other area of ​​your life. By developing your emotional intelligence, you accelerate your step towards self-improvement, personality development and success. Best wishes to you!

“Emotions lead to delusions and this is their value, the value of science is in its unemotionality.”

"The Picture of Dorian Grey".

Have you ever noticed how emotions distort or transform reality? In psychology there is special term“Emotional intelligence” and it has a special designation - EQ. People started talking about him again at the beginning of the 2000s. Let's talk about what this concept is and how to develop emotional intelligence.

Managing emotional intelligence became of interest to me long before I heard this term. It was an intuitive understanding that the development of the situation, or the lack of results, is influenced not only by my thoughts, but also by my reaction to them, emotional condition. Rather, it is emotions that shape thoughts, and not vice versa. Negative thoughts appear precisely because a person does not have complete information about current events, worries, feels fear, resentment, anger and from certain expectations. Agree, most conflicts arise because our loved ones do not behave the way we expect them to. Psychologists note that clarification of relationships, or who is right, occurs because a person does not receive strong, bright, positive feelings from reality and the struggle is designed to compensate for this deficiency.

Stressful situations become a goldmine for a certain circle of people. This includes fortune tellers, magicians, and psychics. Various sessions act like morphine; they remove negativity for a while, leaving positive experiences and a feeling of relaxation. As a result, the client comes again to receive not the prediction itself, but the confidence that everything will be okay. This is the best case scenario.

Some of the psychics and magicians deliberately increase the level of anxiety of clients in order to instill even greater fear and, in this way, lure large sums money. They cling to what is important to a person: relationships with a loved one, health, and so on. Emotional intelligence exercises helped me move away from constant feelings of fear and anxiety, think clearly and look for constructive solutions to problems without turning to third parties for help. I will tell you about several effective techniques.

Concept of emotional intelligence

Psychologists Kahneman and Smith conducted research in the field of behavioral psychology, for which they were awarded Nobel Prize. They managed to prove that most people, when making decisions, are guided by emotions, not logic.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to see one’s strengths and weaknesses and accept them in other people, the ability to separate personal feelings and facts. There are low and high levels of emotional intelligence. Low level emotional intelligence is characterized by the following emotions:

• envy;
• criticism;
• condemnation;
• tunnel vision of the situation (a person sees only one possible variant developments and, most often, in negative tones);
• suppression of feelings;
• a high level of emotional intelligence is characterized by:
• flexibility of mind;
• variability of thinking (a person can find many options for the development of events and work through each of them in detail);

EQ - intelligence helps you find mutual language with different people social groups and ages. Managing emotional intelligence is useful in business, sales, and any team work that requires organizing and inspiring people.

Why is this necessary?

Not everyone understands why it is necessary to develop EQ - intelligence. There are several reasons for this:

1. Adequate assessment own capabilities, acceptance of the strong and weaknesses your personality, effective use of internal resources.
2. Understanding the causes of certain emotions.
3. Understanding and careful attitude feelings of surrounding people, family.
4. Understanding the needs of other people and building a line of behavior based on them.
5. Acceptance and understanding of the conditions of objective reality.
6. Managing emotions quick search decisions in a given situation.

You will gain not only emotional stability, but also the respect of other people, both in the team and from management. A person who can understand others can grow up good leader. You can, for example, write your own book on managing emotions, or become the head of a company, or maybe in the future you will conduct training yourself personal growth? Today this direction is very popular; the experience of people who, without special education, were able to understand themselves and rise to a new level of well-being is especially valued.

Such masters include, for example, Joe Vitale, who became a multimillionaire after several years of living on the street, or Niko Bauman, who wrote a series of books about the power of mental focusing without any special education. The young author founded his own online school, conducts webinars and intensive courses in which he teaches people to control their attention and direct emotions in the right direction.

Stages

Experts distinguish 4 stages of development of emotional intelligence:

1. Communicate clearly and clearly with others, listen well, and communicate expectations. The ability to motivate people to take active action, teamwork, leading a small group of people, the ability not to get involved in open conflict.
2. Feeling comfortable among large group people, regardless of whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert, the ability to understand the emotions of other people, rare cases misunderstandings with someone.
3. Knowing and accepting all the positive and negative sides of your personality, living comfortably with them, understanding your emotions and their impact on current events.
4. Skillful management of emotions, limiting their destructive influence, ability to fulfill promises and responsibilities, maintaining long-term relationships, acting according to circumstances.

Development methods

Let's look at 7 main ways to develop emotional intelligence in adults.

1. Refuse to share feelings. From an early age, we are taught to divide things into categories: this is good, this is bad, there is black and white. But such a division is very subjective, because in general you don’t know what prompted a person to do something bad. good deed from the point of view of society. Maybe if you found yourself in such a situation, you would do worse. What I mean is that there are halftones in the world. Anger, for example, is referred to as bad emotions, but there is a hidden desire in her for everything to become better than it is, and this is already a positive side. For many people, during an attack of anger, a source opens up. inner strength. Refusal to divide emotions into “good” and “bad” helps to understand the reason for the occurrence of those that are commonly called negative.
2. Write down the emotions you experienced during the day. By keeping notes in a journal, you can easily track what triggered the experience. In addition, over time, you will be able to track how your reaction to a similar situation has changed. Write down without limiting yourself and you will understand what makes you worry, how you react, for example, to fear, and what makes you move on.
3. Observe people and situations that make you feel a wave of strong emotions. Describe in your diary the physical sensations of the emotions you experienced.
4. If you find it difficult to track and write down your emotions, observe your preferences: what you prefer to watch, listen to, what you read about, what fills your mind day after day. What songs or films do you feel an inner connection with, and why did you make this particular choice? Which characters do you have an inner sympathy for and why? Answering these questions will help you start tracking your emotions.
5. Sometimes our emotions and words are spoken by other people, in the lines of a song, in a performance, in a film. They experience the same emotions as you, which makes you feel a kind of euphoria. You can remember several catchy episodes.
6. The most proven way to understand another person is to put yourself in their place. Think about how you would feel in those circumstances or if another person said to you what you said.
7. Think through the worst-case scenario, what will you do in this case, how can you get out of the situation? This will help you calm down.

Own your emotions, don’t let them control you, you are the masters of your life. Even the most unpleasant situation can be changed simply by looking at it from a different point of view. By addressing what makes you uncomfortable, you can become strong personality, after all internal state does not depend on the money in your pocket, or on your position, or on the presence or absence of a partner nearby. You are the creator of everything that happens; you have the power to fly or fall.

We want ourselves and our children to be successful and happy. But we often forget that it is impossible to put an equal sign between these concepts. You can be successful, but still feel unhappy all the time. Or you can constantly experience difficulties in your studies or career, but treat them not as a tragedy, but as a step forward.

Why are emotions so important?

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

Charles Swindoll, writer

The modern world is full of stressful situations that are difficult to cope with even for adults, not to mention children. They do not understand and do not know what emotions they experience at one time or another, or how to manage them, so they have a distorted idea of ​​what is happening. This leads to neuroses, apathy and other depressive states.

The inflated demands of teachers, instilling in a small individual the importance of victory and superiority (many want to be the parents of winners) - all this is too heavy a load for fragile children's shoulders. The heavier this load, the more important it is to deal with the child’s feelings and experiences.

Already in adulthood, we see that people who cannot control their emotions have troubles in all areas of life, including in their careers.

When a person is overwhelmed by negative emotions and cannot objectively assess his feelings, desires and capabilities, a destructive effect is guaranteed.

Relationships with others deteriorate, a person withdraws into himself, loses faith in himself, his strengths or his professionalism, becomes irritable, and becomes even more confused in his feelings. And then the question arises: “What level of emotional intelligence does he have?”

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is responsible for recognizing and correctly interpreting emotions. It is he who gives a person psychological flexibility and the ability to effectively interact with the world around him.

That is why the concept of “emotional intelligence” was first voiced in relation to career building and self-realization. However, psychologists immediately grasped the infantile subtext in this, because the fundamental development of personality occurs precisely in childhood.

For a child, the development of EQ is an opportunity to create an established and understandable system of perception that will allow you to effectively interact with people around you, correctly perceive criticism, recognize the feelings of adults and peers and adequately respond to them.

Aggression, apathy, poor sleep, absent-mindedness, inability to establish contacts with peers and other alarming manifestations in a child’s behavior are obvious signals that indicate the need to develop emotional intelligence.

How to develop emotional intelligence from childhood?

The most important thing in the life of any child is parental love. Love your child, show him tenderness and care. Tactile communication between mother and child does not lose its significance for children older than infancy.

Love allows every person to feel protected and confident. This is a reliable foundation for the development of a successful personality.

In addition, it is very important to create the right associations with different emotions. Show your child with a real example what joy is. Perhaps it's the smell of cake? Maybe the ringing of a bell? What about friendship? Do you associate friendship with hugs? If not, then what does it look like in your mind?

Create a colorful and vibrant world around your child, in which every feeling and sensation has its own color, aroma and taste. This way you will not only open the doors to the world of emotions for your child, but also get closer to him and further strengthen the trust between you.

A similar method works with . Don’t just read, but play fairy tales, tell children magical stories through a game or a small performance. Act out a scene in front of them, use tactile sensations, aromatic oils, appropriate intonation - this will allow the child to feel the whole gamut of sincere emotions that a magical story evokes.

Each of these methods is well described in our book “Monsiki. What are emotions and how to be friends with them.” Ours, because we created it together with my son Gleb, based on our own experience. It can be safely called a detailed guide for parents, where one of the most effective methods of developing EQ is shown through interaction with fairy-tale characters Monsics. Each one represents a specific emotion and has skills that will help children understand and cope with those emotions in a variety of ways. Monsies are kind fairy-tale creatures, and fairy tales are best perceived by a child.

Working on emotional intelligence in childhood is the key to successful development and well-being in the future.

Most likely, such a child, as an adult, will be able to avoid most of the psychological problems that modern society faces us with today.

Children are more receptive to everything new, their psyche is like plasticine - flexible and ingenuous. But what will be molded from this plasticine often depends only on the adults. So let's start with ourselves.

Simple exercises to develop EQ

The methodology for developing EQ is simple and straightforward, but requires care and regular implementation. Here are the simplest and most effective exercises.

Mindfulness Exercises

Emotional diary

To learn to be aware of yourself here and now, write down every three hours the emotion you are experiencing at the moment. At the end of the day, identify the dominant emotion and think about what you need to work on.

In a couple of weeks you will learn to feel yourself in real time without any difficulties.

This exercise will be made more effective by a kind of checking - an analysis of the physical state when experiencing a certain emotion. This practice is also good for improving health.

Stop!

How often are our actions accompanied by ? We don’t think about what we are doing, but simply perform some familiar, regular manipulations. Exercise “Stop!” consists of abruptly interrupting any action in order to get rid of inertia and allow yourself to think about the situation. This is the only way to feel yourself here and now, to begin to control your reality.

Exercises to improve self-esteem

What a luck!

Teach yourself to think positively, reacting even to unpleasant events with the phrase: “What luck!” Such a reaction will be a surprise to others, but this fact will also benefit you, because then you will find even more advantages in the situation. To enhance the effect, you can use the phrase: “This is so great because...”. Why? Think about it.

Sell ​​your weakness

An effective technique that allows you to interpret even negative aspects of personality in a positive way. Tell the audience about your shortcoming in other words, give it a different color. For example, can caution be considered cowardice, and courage - recklessness? But it all depends on which side you look at it from. The synthon approach is based on a positive approach to development. He says: you have no shortcomings, you have features.

It is necessary to develop your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

With this approach, you can sell any of your shortcomings. For example, sell uncertainty. Tell the audience honestly and truthfully how, with this quality, before taking an important step, you consider all options for events, look at various solutions, and only after that take the most profitable step for you.

Exercises to develop motivation

Openness to new things

To develop this valuable quality in yourself, you can use a simple but very effective exercise, which consists of finding as many uses as possible for the most ordinary things. Let it be an ordinary towel, an old bucket or just a piece of cardboard. Come up with as many options as possible for how these things can be used. It's not only interesting, but also fun. Therefore, practice this exercise with your family and children. They will have a great time and work on their imagination and ingenuity.

Two random words

Open any book or magazine, randomly select two words from the text and try to find something in common between them. Compare them, analyze, reflect and make connections. It's effective and fun.

Exercise to increase adaptability

Finally, the well-known Elevator Pitch method is a presentation of your business project in 30–60 seconds. Imagine that you are your own business project. Start presenting yourself as brightly as possible, while remaining honest with yourself.

To get started, use this template:

1. Profession.
2. Hobby.
3. How am I changing the world for the better?

Each of these exercises will help you become a better person emotionally and psychologically. However, emotional intelligence should not be perceived as a universal key to success. Life is quite multifaceted. So improve your mind, body, soul and love yourself. After all, the only thing we have control over in this world is ourselves.

Task "Reminders"

Organize a reminder system on your phone (at least 2 reminders per day). Do it randomly. At the moment the signal occurs, determine what emotions you experienced immediately before the signal (most likely, at the moment of the signal you will experience slight irritation J), remember and write down.

Quest “Diary of Emotions”

Buy a notebook or notepad. Determine the most convenient time for yourself (morning, evening). During this time, you will record your daily work results for the day. Throughout the day, track what emotions you experience, what caused these emotions, track the general background of your mood.
At the time you choose, record the facts: what are the strongest emotions you remember today, at what moments they arose. Also write down what sensations arose in your body while experiencing these emotions, what thoughts came to you at that moment?
Record your observations in free form or in a table

Fact (situation, person)

Thoughts
Physical sensations
Emotions

Exercise “Attitudes about emotions”
This exercise allows you to analyze what attitudes you have about emotions? To do this, remember everything that comes to your mind: what your parents, teachers or others said significant people what you read in literature or saw in movies, what proverbs, sayings and catchphrases about emotions?
After you have written down everything you can remember, analyze how these attitudes and beliefs affect your behavior and/or emotional state? Would you like to change any of them?

Exercise “What does a negative emotion signal to us?”
Choose an emotion that you consider negative. Which you don’t like and try your best to hide. Remember situations in which you experienced this emotion.
. What do you think is the reason that she appeared at these moments?
. What did she want to signal to you? What is important to pay attention to? What
will it change if you start listening to this information?
. How did this emotion help you? What was good about having this emotion?
. What happens if you allow yourself to experience and sometimes express this emotion?
Until we recognize the presence of an emotion, “do not see it,” we cannot see the situation well as a whole, that is, we do not have sufficient information. And naturally, without recognizing the presence of some emotion, we cannot part with it; it remains somewhere inside in the form of muscle tension, psychological trauma and other troubles.

Exercises to develop skills in understanding the emotions of others

"Mute TV"
Turn on the TV and mute the sound. Find some Feature Film and watch it for a while, observing the gestures, facial expressions and location in space of the characters and thinking about what emotions they are experiencing now. This is a very exciting process.
If you don't really like watching feature films this way, watch some TV debates or news. Watch a piece of a familiar film and a piece of an unfamiliar one. What is the difference in the observation process? Does knowing the plot hinder or help you compare “nonverbalities” with emotions? Compare films of different genres. American and French. What are the similarities and differences between nonverbal behavior in different cultures? Watch a movie where they play famous actors, and some cheap series. Compare actors' nonverbal expressions with real people in some reporting program.

"Public transport"
This game has additional bonus. To watch silent television, you must have time, a television or computer, and the consent of relatives to use it. When you are on public transport, you only need time that can be occupied with useful activities. Therefore, when you are tired of the newspaper you bought for a trip on the subway, or the book you took on the train or plane runs out, you can switch to this game. How do these people feel? If you see a couple, what kind of relationship are they in? If someone tells someone something, then a funny story or sad?

Exercises to develop skills to manage your emotions

"Breath"
Develop a habit: if you become aware of an emotion, and you don’t like it and it bothers you, immediately start paying attention to your breathing and start breathing a little slower, paying attention to the exhalation.

"Body Methods"
Choose a body-based method for managing emotions that can be used in almost any situation. For example, imperceptibly clench and unclench your fists. Stand on your tiptoes several times. Get up, walk a little and sit down again. Practice using it at least once an hour.

"Problems"
Write a list of problems that are relevant to you now. Remember maximum amount problems (note: at first some difficulties may arise, and then the process will progress - we know how to look for problems).
Now reframe these problems into goals. Make sure to formulate goals positively, that is, without using the particle “not”, as well as the words “quit”, “stop”, “stop”. Formulate your goals as specifically as possible, and be sure to determine the time frame by which you plan to achieve them.
Notice how your emotional state has changed compared to when you started.

"Resource state"
1. It is better to perform the exercise while standing. Remember a situation life moment, when you were in a resource state. Recreate this situation, remember it in great detail: the resource state will appear again. Immerse yourself in your feelings, imagine yourself in this state.
2. Create a portrait of this state using the following questions...
- Where exactly is “it” located in your body?
- What form is this sensation?
- How big is this sensation?
- What colour?
- What images and/or words come from the past?
- Does “this” have a temperature?
- What does “this” feel like?
- What is the limit of this feeling?
- Does “it” move?
- What material does it look like: wood, metal, air, water, cotton wool?
- Can this be moved?
3. Set a threshold or draw a line for yourself and go beyond it, being in a resourceful state.

"Boast"
Every day, write down what you did well and successfully today. What did you achieve? What made you happy?
We do not encourage you to constantly be in a positive mood. As we remember, fear, anger and sadness are also useful emotions and, allowing only positive emotions in our lives, we lose a lot of information and may miss something important. At the same time, when we have a positive attitude, it is much more difficult to upset us or make us angry. Thus, a positive approach creates for us solid support under our feet and a kind of protection from the excessive influence of unpleasant events and emotions on us.

Exercises to develop skills in managing the emotions of others

Exercise “Emotional Balance”
Choose some personal or personal significance that is significant to you. business relationship. For personal relationships, it is enough to remember a period from several days to a week; for business relationships, it is better to take a longer period - one or two months. Divide the sheet in half with a vertical line, mark the left column as “+”, and the right column as “-”. Write down in the left column all your actions that, in your opinion, improved the state of your account (those actions that improved your partner’s mood), in the right - worsened it. See how you affected your emotional balance in this relationship over a given period. Have you managed to improve it or at least maintain it at the same level? Or is the number of actions in the right column becoming depressingly prevalent?
If you're the type of person who only has a bunch of great actions in the left column, ask yourself if you're throwing the balance off balance there, too. Are you giving too much to your partners and asking too little in return?
In both cases, it is worth drawing up an action plan that will help you maintain balance in a more or less equilibrium state. It is useful to carry out such an analysis for yourself at least once a month for the most significant figures and “accounts” and once every few months for people important to you.

Exercise “Emotional motivators in my company”
Think about it and write down what you can do to maintain a constant atmosphere of drive, excitement and enthusiasm in your company.