Article on what it means to be a patriot. What is patriotism and why we should love our homeland

— Father Nektary, why do you think they are talking about patriotism now?

— If you observe the relationship between reality and slogans proclaimed through the media, you will notice that often an active discussion of something is associated with the complete absence of what is being talked about. Now the situation is such that we talk a lot about patriotism. And it’s clear why: there are problems in the relations between states on the world stage, in international politics, there are serious problems within our country. This is where the topic of patriotism comes up. But if we look at how work aimed at patriotic education is carried out in Russian regions, we will see that the funds allocated per year for this work amount to tens of thousands. Although, for example, in Kazan, as I heard, millions are spent on this. Apparently, someone is interested in patriotic education being developed more in Kazan, and not in the Saratov region. Why? It's difficult for me to answer.

As for fashion, patriotism, as they say today, is a kind of trend. On the other hand, those who are actually involved in patriotic education today can refer to the president’s statements and relevant documents, thereby justifying the need for what they are doing, and this is important.

Everything is generally ambiguous. It would seem that the law “On patriotic education citizens of the Russian Federation,” and even at the stage of its preparation, the Ministry of Defense and the Ministry of Education and Science cannot decide which of them should be involved in patriotic education, shifting this responsibility to each other. And at the same time, in Russia there are military-patriotic clubs, in which the leaders and teachers are enthusiasts who have found the time, energy and means to carry out this work, often in in every sense this word, on a voluntary basis.

— Do you think the sudden interest in patriotism means that things are bad in society with patriotic feelings?

— Just look at the statistics: a lot of people are leaving the country. If in the 1990s people left in search of better life or were hiding from responsibility for crimes committed, then today they are leaving out of despair, the desire to live according to the law and have certain guarantees. And this is scary, because, as a rule, it is not children or pensioners who emigrate, but young and active people. By the way, when many people talk about Russia, they increasingly call it either “this country” or use other names. Rarely does anyone say “Russia”, even less often - “Motherland” or “Fatherland”.

— Tell me, who should be involved in educating patriots?

- First of all, the power to which the people have entrusted the management of the state and which must implement the trust. But, of course, parents should educate and teach at the same time, without waiting for their children to be taught by the school, the street, the computer, or the TV. But, in essence, there is no one to expect patriotic education from, except from patriots. You just need to turn to them for help. We have heroes wonderful people, languishing in obscurity after the wars in which they participated. They need to be involved in the work, especially since they themselves would like it. But this is not happening yet. There is a saying: “Words edify, but deeds attract.” So today slogans disgust, words irritate, and only actions really attract people.

— How much is the state doing to educate patriots? Is it being done at all?

— Various events are held periodically, usually for show. But if you think about it, what do they have to do with patriotic education? What do they teach and what do they give? To achieve results, you need systematic work. In children from the first grade, the concept of the Motherland should be formed in their minds. But this is not the case. If a child does not have certain established priorities, then he will not pay attention to them and will grow up as a person with different principles and aspirations.

In the Soviet Union, the schoolchild had the idea that his country existed, it must be loved and protected. And this was a given that no one thought to challenge. It was considered sacred. Naturally, in a healthy society healthy attitude to patriotism, and in the patient - corresponding. Today there is another reality: did you earn and buy? So you are successful. Otherwise you empty place. This is the ideology of modern Russian society. We criticize Americans for many things, but for them patriotism comes first. They have different shapes patriotic education, which, although they seem funny, stupid, artificial, work. They have pride in their country and love for it, perhaps of a pragmatic, utilitarian, selfish nature, but it is there.

What is happening here? Here's an example: people who returned home after fighting in Chechnya. They had to kill, their comrades died before their eyes, they were seriously injured, and around them there was a society that did not understand them at all. No one has taken care of them and no one is going to. And this is the real crime. Therefore, our patriotism is really bad. But it's not hopeless. The Russian people themselves are patriotic people, possessing an amazing ability to recover from the shocks they have experienced. We have not yet reached the point of no return, although they are diligently leading us to it.

— You mentioned the concept of the Motherland. What do you think, what is the Motherland for us, because it, its face is constantly changing?

— A person’s face also changes with age: it becomes decrepit, wrinkles appear. Sometimes a person in old age is not very similar to himself in his youth or childhood. But the soul remains the same. When we talk about the Motherland, we need to keep in mind not the person and other external signs, but the soul inherent in it. In order to recognize this soul, you need to thoughtfully and carefully study our history, which is made up of the destinies of specific people, and understand that the time in which we live is also part of it. Each of us has a history specific place. And the answer to the question of what the Motherland is for us, what it is and what it will be, can only be found in oneself.

— But still, what do we need to love?

- When a person loves, he himself determines who the one he loves is for him. Here is a young man who loves a girl and sees something in her that others do not notice, because he looks at her with the eyes of love. The same thing happens when a person looks at his country. It is impossible to tell what his country is if he does not understand it in his heart. What is his country? IN Soviet times They said: “One sixth of the land.” But, besides, this is history, glorious military victories and bitter defeats, the history of the Russian Orthodox Church, art, literature. How more people learns about his country, the closer he comes to becoming a patriot. Because being a patriot without knowing anything is somehow strange.

— Why do you need to be a patriot? And is it even necessary?

— The question itself contradicts the essence of patriotism, which lies in selfless love to the country. Why do you need to love? If you read what the Apostle Paul says about love, then you need to love in order to give, sacrifice, forgive, not demand anything and maintain love, no matter what happens in response. It turns out that loving and being a patriot is unprofitable, since a person is required to be willing to give his life for his homeland, despite the fact that she may not take care of him. On the other hand, a person who does not love is an inferior person, because sacrificial love is something natural to our nature. Therefore, to be a patriot is necessary in order to be a real person. Why be a real person? To think, feel and experience the life God has given us differently. How many people live who seem to have everything except happiness: they are not able to rejoice, love, give and receive warmth, since there is no place for it in their hearts.

— Is it difficult in our time to be a patriot, and therefore a real person?

— But it’s difficult to be a patriot at all times. For example, the Roman hero Gaius Mucius Scaevola, refusing to betray his people and state and showing that he was not afraid of torture, burned his own hand in front of his enemies. A patriot is a person who must always be ready to sacrifice something, and this is very difficult. But there are victims who impoverish us, and there are those who enrich us.

— Can faith, in particular Orthodoxy, raise patriots?

— A believer, by definition, must be a patriot. Nowadays, within Orthodoxy, such a direction as uranopolitism is developing. In my opinion, this is a false ideology, main idea which is that since our fatherland is the Heavenly Fatherland, we should not concentrate on love for the earthly Fatherland. But the Lord gave a person to be born into some family. And it's not always ideal or easy good family. But nevertheless, we are given the commandment to honor our parents. This commandment also implies honoring the country in which a person was born. We call the country Fatherland or Motherland, because here we were born, here we have a family connection with our history and people. If a person does not love his parents, then I have great doubts that he is a believer. Accordingly, if a believer does not love his Fatherland, then, probably, there is a big flaw in his Christian self-awareness and worldview. Faith teaches a person to be a patriot. And the believer must be ready to lay down his life for his friends, that is, not only for his family and friends, but also for the country, for the entire community of people in which the Lord brought him to live.

— What do you think will happen to a state that has no patriots?

- Hitler wanted to turn many countries into territories where it would be possible to engage in agriculture, extract minerals and organize some kind of production. When a state lacks such a concept as patriotism, then it becomes such a territory.

Interviewed by Daria Khokhlova

Essay: “What does it mean to be a patriot”?

The ocean stormed your shore,

The Ural tested our strength,

But with its multi-colored aurora,

Yamal illuminated all of Russia.

We will never give you up

Here are our native cities,

The most important wealth of great Russia

Stay, Yamal, forever!

The movement of time is constant. One generation replaces another. Russia is going through many events. Today, in pursuit of material wealth, people forget about patriotism, love for the Motherland, and the revival of our society..

To be a patriot means to work for your country, for your people in their interests, and to be respectful and careful about history and your past.

You cannot be a patriot without feeling a personal connection with your Motherland, without knowing how our ancestors, our fathers and grandfathers loved and cherished it. And we have something to be proud of! Let us remember the feat of the people in the Great Patriotic War!

Historically, love for the Motherland, patriotism at all times in Russian state were a feature national character. But due to recent changes, the loss of traditional Russian patriotic consciousness in our society has become increasingly noticeable. Philistine philistine concepts, reflected in the saying: “My hut is on the edge, I don’t know anything,” came into life.

Psychological and spiritual state Russians today are constantly worried about the prospects own life and the lives of your loved ones. The most acute problems that do not allow any individual, nor the average Russian family, nor the region, nor the country as a whole to breathe freely. Russians do not feel like masters in their country, they become strangers in it: and in big cities, and in forgotten by god and the power of the villages.

It is necessary that Russian citizens can live in their country, study in their country, work in their country, defend their country and be proud of their country.

What is “patriotism” and what kind of person can be called a patriot? The answer to this question is quite complicated.

Patriotism – high human a feeling, it is so multifaceted in its content that it cannot be defined in a few words. This includes love for family and friends, and for the small Motherland, and pride in one’s people, the desire to do concrete everyday things to improve the condition of one’s homeland, its embellishment and arrangement (starting from maintaining order, neatness and strengthening friendly relations with neighbors in one’s apartment, entrance, house, yard to the worthy development of your entire city, region, region, Fatherland as a whole).

Patriotism- secret a feeling that is not necessarily noticeable to others, located deep in the soul (subconscious). Patriotism is judged not by words, but by the deeds of each person. A patriot is not the one who calls himself that, but the one who will be honored as such by others, but above all by his compatriots

Patriotism is a feeling individual , it manifests itself differently for everyone, and everyone understands it differently, but everyone is united by one thing: preserving and strengthening their homeland. Nowadays, the very word “patriot” is sometimes heard with mockery, with irony, which in itself is louder than all the banners calling for patriotism. Or a person, naming his shortcomings or advantages, most often can hear about how honest and smart he is, but few characterize themselves by calling themselves a “patriot”..........

I would like to add, honestly, before I didn’t even think about whether I was a patriot? It turned out that you only need to find out one thing: what is the Motherland for you and does it evoke trembling in your heart?

Russia, Rus' is my great Motherland!

There is a song called “Where the Motherland Begins...”. So, my homeland begins with Yamal, with hometown, where my closest people live.

Here there are five weathers a day: sowing, blowing, watering, sprinkling. A cloud will creep in and a cold shadow will cover the tundra. Behind it the second one will sprinkle with frequent rain. The third one will drum the ice grains. The fourth one is covered with snow. It’s good if the fifth one passes by - then the sun and warmth will come again.

Beautiful tundra!!!

It is brightest in summer. There are colorful birds in the puddles: white, black, red.

On the bumps bright flowers: blue, red, yellow. But the tundra is best on spring evenings. The plain becomes dark, and the entire vast sky above it turns golden. Endless silence. And time stopped.

In the North live the courageous, brave people. Harsh nature requires that a person be brave, decisive, strong. In the North, people raise deer. Deer is a very useful animal. He replaces a horse and a car for a person, he gives him meat and warm wool. Reindeer herders graze a herd of reindeer far in the tundra, where the animals find their favorite food - reindeer moss.

In Yamal there live people who are engaged in gas production - gas producers. They produce gas for the country, which people need.

And our tundra is good.
The bushes darken with lynx fur,
Snowflakes are circling slowly,
They sparkle in the sun like beads.

Unemployment" href="/text/category/bezrabotitca/" rel="bookmark">unemployed, weak people.

Yes, we must become more tolerant of each other, forgive voluntary and involuntary mistakes. And then people will believe in the best and be happy! Well, happiness is when you are healthy and your loved ones are healthy, when your family lives in abundance, when you are confident in the future, when you love and are loved. For Russian citizens These values ​​have always been and remain!

Poltinin D., Shalatov M.:

What does it mean to be a patriot today?

To be a patriot means to be the master of your country, not a guest. In case of danger, be able to protect her and handle her gifts with care. A patriot, in my understanding, is a person who works and is socially active, builds his future, connecting it only with his Fatherland. He will do much more than a person who is ready to defend the country’s prestige in words. This is much more difficult than just talking about love for the Motherland, let’s look at Dictionary Dahl: “A patriot is one who loves his fatherland, is devoted to his people, is ready to make sacrifices and heroic deeds in the name of the interests of his Motherland.” Modern life differs from previous eras in its frantic rhythm, individualism, and the value of material goods. And at the same time, she leaves room for heroism. To be a patriot or not depends on the person himself. Anyone who does something can become a hero good deeds from pure heart. After all, great heroism is born from small actions. To be a patriot, in my opinion, means “not to litter in the forest.” Don't name Russian Federation"this country". Cheer for your team at the World Championships. Support the actions of our, not foreign, politicians in conflict situations. And, of course, refrain from sophisticated swearing and sour sarcasm against our state. From my point of view, patriotism begins when you realize that for some reason you need this country, and not in the form of ruins and poverty, but in the form of a place of residence (as comfortable as possible) for your relatives, relatives, acquaintances, people of the same you nationality, with common historical roots. When you realize that in this land lie your ancestors, who worked it and for which they fought, which fed them and which accepted them. And when you realize that you want to lie in this same land, you want this land to feed and raise your descendants. It doesn’t matter how you came to this - through the logical realization that it cannot be otherwise, or purely emotionally (having arrived at Once again to your favorite forest to pick mushrooms and see deforestation in place of the forest). And when this feeling becomes unconscious, when you are ready to take a machine gun and go defend your home, knowing full well the futility of this step and realizing that you have no chance of survival - at this stage you can talk about patriotism.

How does patriotism manifest itself today?

If we proceed from the generally accepted idea that patriotism is love for the Motherland, then it is necessary to determine what is included in the concept of “Motherland”. I believe that the Motherland is a place in whose fate a person feels spiritual involvement. The homeland is the native expanses and the father's home. But it's also something more than locality or place of residence. First of all, the Motherland is people. From here it becomes clear that heroism for the good of the Motherland is aimed at the benefit of people and, first of all, loved ones. For Russian people, the Motherland has always been holy and revered and they protected it as a shrine. It is in this understanding of the Motherland, in my opinion, that patriotism originates. At the same time, patriotism is not just love for the Motherland. This is a willingness to overcome any challenges with the country (to protect it from enemies, to raise it from ruins, to defend the honor and rights of the state on the world stage), respect for one’s history and traditions, the desire to serve the interests of the country with one’s actions (to be useful, to take responsibility, work for the good of the Motherland for yourself, loved ones, Russians...). Patriotism implies not only a sense of pride in the country, but also a willingness to be with it Hard time. I asked my friends the question: “What is patriotism and your heroes today.” The answers basically boiled down to the fact that patriotism is love for the Motherland. About 5% of respondents were unable to define the concept of “patriotism” at all. When asked to list famous heroes most often called the heroes of the Great Patriotic War. When asked whether there are heroes in the 21st century, many said that there are none. Those who agreed with the statement that there are still heroes cited only one or two names. The great military and labor past of our country knows many heroes: Sailors, Panikakha, Suvorov, Nakhimov, Stakhanov, Sakharov, Zhukov, Kutuzov, Ushakov and many others. These people once glorified our country on the world stage. Their heroism is immortal. At the same time, we, the generation that grew up in the 21st century, should know that modernity also provides examples of the manifestation of patriotism. Who are they modern patriots and heroes? My list of heroes is long, I will name only a few whose exploits were especially memorable to me. The undisputed heroes of our time are the officers and soldiers of the 6th company of the 2nd battalion of the 104th Guards Parachute Regiment of the 76th (Pskov) Airborne Division, who on February 29 - March 1, 2000 entered into battle with a significantly superior detachment Chechen militants, led by Khattab, near Argun in Chechnya, at height 776 - Lieutenant Colonel M. N. Evtyukhin, Major S. G. Molodov, Captain V. V. Romanov, Senior Lieutenant A. M. Kolgatin, Lieutenant A. V. Vorobyov, Lieutenant D.S. Kozhemyakin, privates Alexander Suponinsky, Andrey Porshnev and many others. Leonid Mikhailovich Roshal (born in 1933) - Soviet and Russian pediatrician and surgeon, Doctor of Medical Sciences, professor, public figure, Director of the Moscow Research Institute of Emergency Pediatric Surgery and Traumatology, “Children’s Doctor of the World” (1996), expert of the World Health Organization.

All participants in military operations in Chechnya, liquidators of the Chernobyl disaster, flood rescuers and many, many other people saving others without sparing their own lives.

Patriotism is Full time job mind and soul, love and respect for elders.

Lekanskaya D.:

There is no single measure for patriotism. For everyone there is one. Some say that patriotism means that we should be ruled only by people like us, of our nationality (but is this always true? best option?). Others believe that a person should rule who always firmly defends national interests(Are you sure it’s national and not personal?). Personally, I prefer a different approach. Patriotism is when you not only “heartily root” for the country, but when you realize what is happening to the country, and act, albeit to the detriment of yourself and the current situation/generation, but in the interests of future generations. Moreover, the “interest of future generations” is both support for today’s youth and concern for the elderly as carriers folk traditions, as a connection between generations, as the moral face of society, and concern for natural resources, economic, scientific and military potential of their country. Patriotism cannot be measured by the number of speeches for anything or the volume of the cry, nor by the number of returns “from there.” Patriotism can be measured exclusively by specific deeds - how many factories you built, how many people you gave work to, to what extent you prevented the export of raw materials (generational wealth) from the country and what part of these resources (as a measure to prevent export) you turned into high-tech products with high added value due to technology and the labor of citizens, how much taxes you paid, how many talented fellow citizens you helped, how many orphanages you supported and how many orphans you helped find a family, how many teenagers you gave the opportunity to go to study/work instead of “hanging around the streets” and sitting down on drugs, how many villages did you save from extinction and brought back young people there, how many wild animals live in the forest or reserve closest to you, how did you finance national science, art, mass sports, how many streets in your city have you helped make clean, illuminated, ... And love... They love the street, not the dirt on it, and if they love it, they will make an effort to keep it clean and pleasing to the eye.

Mishin A.:

We were all born in the same country, we live here and grow up. We all study the history of our country and are proud of it. But the most wonderful thing is when our souls are filled with a special feeling, consolidated over centuries and millennia - patriotism. How does patriotism manifest itself? It manifests itself: in love for one’s Fatherland, in pride for one’s people, in love for the culture of one’s people. In love for his small Motherland, where he was born and spent the first years of his life; in the desire for the prosperity of their Motherland, in activities for the benefit of the Motherland, in the readiness to protect and defend their country, in respect for veteran defenders of the Motherland, heroic deeds their ancestors. It is impossible to teach patriotism the way they teach mathematics and physics. The feeling of the Motherland is not memorizing a list of rules and regulations. This is the air we breathe. The sun that we see. The house in which we live. The feeling of the Motherland permeates our entire life. Modern life with its transience makes us think about our attitude towards the Motherland - the most sacred thing that a person has. I live in Russia. The history of my fatherland is rich in examples of great victories and glory, adversity and suffering. Smart and courageous people worked for the good and benefit of my country. Their work brings glory to Russia. This is my homeland. Its expanses are beautiful and vast. I am proud of my country, its past and present.

Now that the situation in many countries has become quite calm, patriotism is talked about less and less, but in literature and history this phenomenon is very important and vivid.

What does it mean to be a patriot

What it means to be a patriot is to feel patriotism, to experience love in your homeland and to put its interests above your own, this is the desire to do everything possible to preserve it itself, its people and its culture, the desire to protect its interests and borders. Patriotism was not always inherent in the human community, in primitive communities there were no states, but the beginnings of patriotism appeared in the form of attachment to one’s tribe, a sense of kinship and unity with its members, and awareness of oneself as one of them.

• Patriotism performs various functions, it helps to maintain the unity of a certain state or nation, helps to protect it from external adverse factors.
• We see especially vivid manifestations of patriotism during military operations, where one person is only a small part of his people and his country, and he himself, feeling this, is able to go to great lengths to protect it, often sacrificing himself for the common good.
• Patriotism is often assessed as positive quality, it is valued and rewarded by the state and the authorities, they write about it in the literature and devote headlines to the means mass media, but not everyone considers it useful and good.
• What it means to be a patriot, according to Leo Tolstoy, is to experience a rude, harmful and immoral feeling of patriotism, which becomes the cause of wars. And there are reasons for this point of view: after all, if the unity of a people is very strong, then a feeling of “we” is formed, which expresses the thought “we are all alike and we need to stick together and protect each other,” while at the same time a feeling of “we” is formed - they,” which tells a person that everyone who does not belong to his people is different, they are not understandable, they are not as good as his compatriots and that means he must defend himself from them and cannot accept their views. Such patriotism turns into radical and becomes nationalism, but it is this that becomes the cause of wars and interethnic conflicts. At the same time, patriotism here is only the initial initially positive feeling.
• Patriotism also had a negative connotation in the Soviet Union, since there a person was left with no other choice; having been born in the USSR, he was obliged to be a patriot, devoted to his state, and if he expressed any ideas that contradicted this, it was punished by the authorities.

On the eve of the holiday of February 23, Defender of the Fatherland Day, it’s time to talk about the patriotic education of youth. What do the concepts of “patriot” and “patriotism” mean these days, for example, for modern schoolchildren? The article contains the opinions of the guys themselves.

If for you such concepts as “patriot”, “patriotism”, “feeling of patriotism” are an empty phrase or cause irony, irritation, etc., try to think about this unusual question: is it profitable to be a patriot in our time?
This question is especially appropriate to ask schoolchildren, among whom there are many cynics, in order to motivate them to think about difficult topic. And this can be done the day before the event. class hour or any other event dedicated to instilling a sense of patriotism.

Such questions can attract children to a serious and constructive discussion. At first glance, the question “Is it profitable to be a patriot in our time?” seems rather strange, but it is precisely as a result of this approach (as practice shows) that even a cynic can be forced to think and express his “thought-out” opinion on this matter.
It would be nice to organize a competition for the best answer to this strange question from the guys’ point of view. Let everyone share their opinions.

To the questions “How does patriotism manifest itself?” and “Is it profitable to be a patriot in our time?” The students gave very interesting answers. After generalization and systematization, they look like this.

• Patriotism is manifested in respect for one's country, its past, and the memory of ancestors; in interest in the history of their country, studying the experience previous generations. And this leads to finding out the causes of many events, which in turn gives knowledge. He who is armed with knowledge is protected from many failures and mistakes, does not waste time correcting them, goes further and overtakes in his development those who “tread on the same rake.” Knowing your history and the experience of previous generations helps you navigate the world, calculate the consequences of your own actions, and feel confident. At all times, people relied on the experience of their predecessors. Without the historical past, neither the present nor the future is possible. According to many classics, “Forgetfulness of the past, historical unconsciousness is fraught with spiritual emptiness both for individual person, and for all people." It is the understanding of the failures and mistakes of the historical past that leads to the achievements and merits of the present, helps to survive in hard time. Therefore, it is beneficial to be a patriot.


• Patriotism is manifested in the ability to appreciate and take care of one’s homeland, the desire to change it for the better, to make it cleaner, kinder, more beautiful. For example, it is more pleasant and convenient to walk on clean, repaired roads. Shoes last longer less likely fell. It is also much more pleasant to deal with decent people, and not with boors and scoundrels. It's nice to enjoy the beauty of nature and human creations that are not at all difficult to preserve. If a person learns to ennoble himself and the territory surrounding him, life will become happier, psychological comfort will appear, which will allow him to spend his money more efficiently. mental strength, enjoy life and achieve a lot. Therefore, it is beneficial to be a patriot. True patriotism manifests itself in the ability to be moral person who create beauty and goodness around themselves.


• Patriotism is manifested in the ability to be faithful and devoted to one’s country, one’s cause, one’s family, one’s views and ideas, one’s dreams. A patriot does not shout at every corner about his passionate love to his homeland, he silently does his job well, remains true to his principles, ideals and universal human values. Thus, he really helps not only his country, but also himself. A person who studied hard, acquiring knowledge, and as a result received Good work, became socially active, built his future, created a full-fledged family, works honestly - did much more for his country than the one who walks around with slogans, chants for patriotism and verbally defends the prestige of his country. People whose sense of patriotism is not developed have no future. They will destroy themselves because they do not develop and do not have a strong “core”. This is the law of life. Patriotism is needed for personal development, for survival. Therefore, it is beneficial to be a patriot.

I really want everyone to understand the following: “ Patriotism as political, social and moral principle reflects the attitude of a person (citizen) to his country. This attitude is manifested in concern for the interests of one’s fatherland, in readiness for self-sacrifice for it, in loyalty and devotion to one’s country, in pride in its social and cultural achievements, in sympathy for the suffering of his people and condemnation social vices society, in respect for the historical past of their country and the traditions inherited from it, in the readiness to subordinate their interests to the interests of the country, in the desire to protect their country, their people. A patriot is one who works conscientiously for the good of his country and encourages those around him to do the same, who helps his fellow citizens improve. Without caring about others, you risk being left alone.”