A son was born to plant a tree. Build a house, plant a tree, give birth to a son

Photo gallery: 3 things you must do a real man

So, 3 things a real man should do. Previously, a man had to build a house. What was meant by this? In fact, the house was then an opportunity to protect oneself from the cold and attacks of enemies. After all, a castle can also be called a home, fortified and protected from everyone external enemies. Really strong and good house Previously, it was highly valued, because the more reliable the house was, the more opportunity a person had to protect himself from various weather disasters and protect himself from ill-wishers. In addition, not every person could afford to build a real home, and not a shack that would fall apart from a light blow of wind. That is why men have always tried to build real home, To obtain good bride. After all, at all times, parents tried to marry their daughter to the most reliable young man. And a strong house was the first proof of his reliability. This meant that the man was able to independently save money and build his own home, which also proved his physical strength.

What does the strong and large mansion in modern world. Well, probably about the fact that a man has the financial ability to purchase it or hire workers for construction. Nowadays, few people will build a house with their own hands. And, if this happens, then this will most likely indicate that the person does not have enough funds to pay a professional team of builders. Building a house with your own hands will take more than one year, and therefore, in the modern world, a man should rather not build a house, but purchase a presentable home. This does not necessarily have to be a cottage or a mansion. Also, a beautiful spacious apartment in good area cities. Probably, the concept of home, in fact, has not changed much since the past. The bride's parents are still concerned about the living space of their future son-in-law. Only now they are not worried about barbarian raids and cold winters, but about the prospects of living in the same apartment with young people, which, of course, they don’t want at all, or the possibility of renting an apartment, which will not be so cheap, which will affect the future family budget of their daughter . So, we can conclude that the first thing a modern man must do is to get a living space. And let it be a gift, an inheritance, or an honestly earned apartment, the main thing is that the guy has a place to live with his future wife.

The second is to plant a tree. What did this once mean? A tree is, first of all, a tree. And if there is a harvest, it means that the family will not starve in winter. Then, by planting a tree, they meant that the young man had his own land on which he could and knew how to grow bread, vegetables and fruits. It's no secret that farming used to be one of the main professions. If a man was a good farmer, he had food in the house, and many products were sold. With the money, the guy had the opportunity to buy clothes, household utensils and firewood for the winter, so as not to freeze in a cold house.

Then it turns out that for a modern man, planting a tree means getting Good work. Now that you can buy almost everything, the main currency has become not bread, but money. Yes and requests modern people an order of magnitude higher than that of their ancestors. Therefore, in order to live well in the modern world, you need to have enough money, which, as we know, brings a promising, highly paid job. That is why modern guys must not only learn to handle their land plot. It is necessary to have it high intelligence and get it at university a good education, with which you can find suitable job. Also, in order to have high earnings. You must be ambitious and courageous, be able to find innovative solutions and never give up. So, to some extent, it is more difficult for modern men to follow the second rule.

And the third thing is to raise a son. This is probably the one thing that will never change. Every person wants to continue his family line, to see in his children best qualities, which he laid down for them from infancy. Of course, times change, and the methods of education also become somewhat different, but still, at the core, one thing remains - to raise your child as a worthy member of society. This is what every real man tries to do. He will never leave his offspring and will not try to evade his obligations. A real man and real father will raise his child and will never say that he simply does not have time. Such men always managed to build houses and grow trees, but at the same time, their children were never left without a male upbringing. The upbringing of such men is strict and fair, and they undoubtedly love their children very much. For the sake of the child, such guys build the warmest and most comfortable house and grow the tallest tree. They do everything they can and even try to do the impossible.

So, 3 things that a real man should do in the modern world is to get a good living space, have a well-paid job and do everything so that his children do not need love, care and proper education. If a man is able to achieve this, he will be able to be fully realized in life. But in reality, following these three rules is not so easy. It takes a lot of effort. Therefore, it is not surprising that not all men achieve such results, and therefore self-realization. But, if your boyfriend has a nice house or apartment, a job that brings him not only high income, but also joy, and, in addition, he loves children very much and is ready to invest all his soul and all his finances in them - then there really is a real one nearby a man who deserves you.

One day an active woman came to the sage and asked:
- Oh, wisest one! The sky has revealed that mine is coming good hour give birth to an heir. I want to raise him worthy person, a real man. I know from my father and mother that a true man is the one who builds a house, plants a tree and raises a son. Help me find out for myself, and then pass on wisdom to my son, how to do it right.
“Your mother and father told you everything correctly,” answered the sage. - And I’ll just say more precisely. The house must be built on a foundation of twelve bricks. Tree - plant only in suitable soil. A worthy son your son will grow if you grow in yourself first worthy mother.
The woman thought about the words of the sage, and then said:
“You said it beautifully, wise one, but I don’t understand your words.” Please explain what your words mean.
The sage smiled and answered:
- A foundation of twelve bricks is nobility. There are twelve letters in this word, and it contains twelve male virtues. This strong will, strong faith, honesty, kindness, freedom from baseness, a sense of justice, readiness to help those in need, the ability to be responsible for one’s words and deeds, empathy, non-judgment, the ability to forgive and respect for elders. If you help your son lay this foundation, his heart’s house will stand strong and will never fall.
- What is suitable land and wood?
- The tree is your family, which your son will continue. Teach him to look for worthy land - worthy woman. And then the tree of your Family will never wither, but its roots will grow stronger.
“Thank you for your wisdom,” the woman replied. “I understood what a strong foundation and suitable land are. But what does it mean to raise a worthy mother in yourself?
“And this is the simplest and most difficult,” the sage smiled. “I can only give you one hint.” Every day pray to God with these words: “Lord, help me to be a worthy mother for my son! Help me love, not judge, him. And help me always remember that I gave birth to a son, but I am raising a man!” Do you understand?
“Thank you, wise one,” the woman sighed. “I understood everything, but I can’t understand one thing: I asked you about an earthly house, a tree and an heir, and you told me about what it is in my soul to raise my child.”
“What seeds a mother sows in her son’s heart, such fruits will his earthly deeds sprout,” the sage answered.

Oksana Akhmetova, 2013

Many people have heard more than once that a real man must do three things in his life: build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. The expression has long since acquired the connotation folk wisdom, which teaches that a man during his life (at least once) must take care of nature, take care of the continuation of his family, and also provide his family with a place to live.

This phrase is often said during toasts, although it is unknown who authored this expression. This sounds like a phrase in the Talmud. It says that “a man must first build a house and plant a vineyard, and then get married” (“Sota”, 44b (93, p. 361). So the expression “build a house, plant a tree and raise a son” can be considered an interpretation of the phrase from Talmud, the meaning of which is that it is necessary to first create conditions for life, and then get a wife.

Generations of Soviet children, following the young performers, sang the lines with inspiration popular song: “Let there always be mom, let there always be me.” Not everyone asked the question: “What about dad?”

In the wings

Until recently, the roles in the family were quite clearly distributed: dad works and earns money, mom also works and raises. Although fathers, of course, are different, however, with the word “dad” in Soviet time Two stereotypes were common: the dad lying on the sofa with a sports newspaper or the stern one with a belt. We walked with the children, took them to sections, clubs, went to parent meetings most often mothers or grandmothers. The father was responsible for teaching the child order, strict upbringing, and even choosing the professional path of his son or daughter.

“Dads are becoming more responsible and want to take part in raising their children. Sometimes women earn more, and dads are there to help with the upbringing. Fathers are increasingly leaving maternity leave. Now I go to parent-teacher meetings with my children and see that dads often come and actively discuss all school matters. That is, they are interested in the development of children,” says the chairman public organization“Large families of the Perm region” Irina Ermakova. – We are hosting a forum for women “Mama Bee”. While mothers were gaining new knowledge, fathers were taking care of their children. I think it's wonderful."

Modern life is blurring traditional roles, but getting used to it is not so easy. You can learn about how to be a mother - from pregnancy to raising teenagers - everywhere. But there is much less information about how to be a dad. They usually don’t prepare for the role of a father: in kindergarten and school they usually don’t talk about who dad is, focusing on mom.

Nowadays you can see brutal guys who braid their daughters’ hair and walk with their kids in playgrounds. Dads take their children to classes and clubs and generally spend more time with their children.

“If you want to be a good dad, no one will tell you how to do it. There are practically no books. There are also very few thematic sites and useful information there’s not much there,” says the organizer of the discussion “Where is Dad?”, which took place recently at the exhibition “ Smart child", Pyotr Kravchenko.

"Mama" ecosystem

Peter has two children: Arseny is three years old, Kirill will soon be one year old. The division of roles in the family is traditional: dad is mainly the breadwinner. And yet Peter tries to spend more time with his sons. Now the schedule allows me to take my three-year-old son to work, so that the child knows what the head of the family does and how he earns money. When Peter began to actively participate in raising children, he realized that he did not know much.

“I see how my wife’s communication with her girlfriends is structured. They have some kind of bird language, a whole mother ecosystem. This manifests itself in everything: they share advice, change things, etc. There are many sites and groups on social networks for mothers. But there is nothing for dads yet,” says Peter. “It so happened that my close friends and I became fathers almost simultaneously. But in our men's company It is not customary to discuss issues of education. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us. For example, I am interested in many questions. On the one hand, I don’t want to crush the child with severity, on the other hand, I understand that it is necessary to form a framework for behavior. How to find balance? If earlier dads influenced the choice of profession, now this is becoming impossible. When the baby grows up, they will change significantly. Where can we look for an answer even to this question?”

It is not customary to discuss issues of education in a male company. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us.
Tenderness and responsibility

To understand who a dad is and what it means to be good father, Peter and his friends organized a discussion. To the delight of the organizers, she gathered a lot of men. How to find a balance between work and family, what conscious fatherhood is, what are the advantages of maternity leave - they discussed all these issues.

“It is important for the future father to be aware of everything that happens to the woman he loves even during pregnancy. This should become a necessity, because even an unborn child is already part of the family. In such a situation, a man should already be interested in how he can help. If a husband takes a responsible approach to the role of a father, he must be ready to restructure his taste habits, to give up some personal needs for the sake of the needs of the family (for example, quit smoking on the balcony, go outside), says Perm journalist Roman Popov. – The one who is more comfortable goes on maternity leave. The important issue here is priority and agreements, not established norms. Even at the stage of his wife’s pregnancy, a man should consider the option that he can go on maternity leave. Traditionally, all knowledge about what happens to the child is transferred to the woman. If a pediatrician comes, he tells mom all the information about how he is feeling, and only trusts dad to bring a spoon for examination. However, it is also important for the father to be aware, he must participate in decision-making and take responsibility.”

According to Roman, a man should forget about the traditional distribution of responsibilities around the house. There is no division into men's and women's affairs.
Men say that while dads who take care of children are a rarity, they have whole line bonuses. At a minimum - touching mothers on playgrounds. One dad remembered how ladies in the children's clinic made way for him and his child, because fathers usually appear in medical institutions much less often than mothers.

The father must participate in decision making and take responsibility
The organizers of the discussion want to take the discussion of the topic of conscious fatherhood to a new level - they plan to hold a festival of dads in Perm. And in the near future, on September 30, this topic will be raised at the We-Fest festival dedicated to family issues.

Why is the law so harsh?

Commissioner for Children's Rights in Perm region Pavel Mikov:

In the last three to four years, the number of complaints from fathers of children has increased significantly. Appeals most often involve disagreement with court decisions that determined the child’s place of residence after the parents’ divorce. On the one hand, the very fact of conversion and the desire of fathers to participate in the lives of their children speak of conscious parenting, and this cannot but rejoice. On the other hand, this also indicates some problems in the practice of Russian legal proceedings.

Most often, the judge makes a decision, traditional for our mentality, regarding the place of residence of the children, leaving them with their mother. According to the fathers, the judges do not take a comprehensive approach to assessing this decision. One of the latest appeals to the Commissioner indicates just this.

The man does not agree with the court's decision, which determined that after the divorce one child will live with his mother, the other with his father. However, as it turned out, the children’s mother actively professes an unconventional religion: and such moments as abandoning traditional medicine, involving the child in religious worship, changing the normal diet cannot but raise doubts about the safety of physical and spiritual development child. The man is now challenging the court's decision.

Boss or friend?

Senior Lecturer at the Department of Developmental Psychology of Perm State National Research University Maxim Zubakin:

Now the perception of the father's role in the family is gradually changing. The ideas are different from those in the time of our parents. IN modern society There are still no common ideas about the role of the father.

In my opinion, a fairly small segment of men still have an interest in raising children and improving their quality of life. As a rule, these are educated people with an average income, aged 30 to 45 years. I have not yet observed a widespread demand in society for discussion of this topic.

Men don't always understand what it means to be a father. The problem is that there is a certain conflict between the role of breadwinner and dad. Usually men work a lot, but their children hardly see them at home. It’s not easy to find a balance in order to be fulfilled in your profession and find time for your children.

Mixing both roles - worker and dad - is not best idea, since they imply completely different behavior. Often a man gets used to behaving in an enterprise in a certain way and transfers the same style of communication to the family, which causes conflicts. If at work everything is very structured for a man, then the family involves much less formalization. Work obliges him to act clearly and unemotionally, while at home he is expected to show more feelings. At work there are rather narrow opportunities for expressing one's self. individual characteristics. The family, rather, is forced to accept the father’s character in all its manifestations. If a man turns his family into a corporation and perceives his wife and children as employees of the enterprise, they resist management and begin to hide something.

Educate yourself, not your children

Dean of the Faculty of Legal and Socio-Pedagogical Education of PGSPU Venera Korobkova:

There are four categories of fathers. The first is absent parents. They either never participated in the child’s life at all, or stopped communicating with him after the divorce. The second is traditional dads. They don't interfere much in their children's lives. They believe that their task is to earn money, and upbringing is the mother’s job. The third category is active dads. They are ready to delve into educational process, readily communicate with children. The last, and smallest, are authoritarian fathers who regulate all areas of family life. They decide everything themselves, and the mother does not have the right to vote.

The largest category is traditional dads. We usually want them to pay more attention to children, but scolding and forcing is not the answer. Schools make the situation even worse. When do dads usually get called to see the teacher? In cases where the child behaves completely badly. For a man, a child is a reason for pride, and listening to how their son or daughter is scolded, dads feel like failure. Now we offer for kindergarten groups, school classes organize family clubs to encourage dads to be involved in their children's lives. Men can take part in hikes and meetings in nature, they can barbecue, play football with their children, and watch how other married couples—the parents of their children’s classmates—communicate.

There are much fewer active fathers - in different teams from 6 to 15%. This figure increases every year as a lot of information appears on the Internet.

I will say that it is important not so much how much time the father spends with the child and raises him, but how he behaves in the family: how he treats the child’s mother, how and how much he works. There is one English proverb: “You don’t need to raise children, they will still do what you do.” She's truthful. The father simply shows the child by his example how to different situations you need to behave.

Will protect and teach

Dad on maternity leave Sergei Galiullin:

When I found out that my wife and I were going to have a child, I began to look for a job with more money. But it didn’t work out, so I decided to be with the child. I consider it work, because raising a daughter is just as much work.

In our family, the mother works, and I look after the child. Household tasks - washing, ironing, cooking, washing floors - are performed by those who have time. I usually cook breakfast, my wife cooks dinner. She most often washes the floors, because at this time I work with my daughter. I walk with her, change diapers, my wife puts her to bed. Since I have been with my daughter since birth, we have good contact. I had to learn how to wash a child, change diapers, and clothes. Now she falls asleep worse with me, she prefers to be put to bed by her mother. But I don't see this as a problem.

I think that men should spend more time with children. A father can give his daughter and son what a mother cannot. Dad is stronger and it is he who will ride the child on his shoulders. It’s easier for dad to be a clown, a fool, at whom children will laugh kindly. But dad will protect you, teach you how to defend yourself, how to get out of conflict situations. In general, it is very important for me to be a father - to be needed, caring. I learned some household things that I couldn’t do before. I even started cooking better.

Traditional ideas about roles in the family are losing relevance. But stereotypes are very difficult to change. It seems to me that the more dads actively spend time with their children, the faster the point of view in society will change. I often see men with strollers on walks and in shops. First, dads will learn to simply be with their children, and then raise them at the proper level.

Share and educate

Mother of many children Nina Shirinkina:

In our family, on maternity leave to care for youngest daughter my husband came out. We compared salary levels and found out that it would be more profitable. I will say right away that not all our acquaintances and even close people understood us. Nevertheless, I believe that it turned out to be the right decision. We immediately clearly divided responsibilities so that both parents would take care of the baby and she would get equal attention from both dad and mom. I got up to see my daughter at night, my husband was with her morning and afternoon. In the evening I always came home from work on time to feed her, wash her and put her to sleep. The division of responsibilities in education remains with us even now. My husband is raising his sons, and I do not interfere in the process. My task is to raise girls. The husband takes all the children to the sections, plans summer rest. We resolve all issues of upbringing together and never interfere with the children - we make comments and give advice to each other only in private. I believe that husband and wife should be one team.

When a man spends so much time with a child, they develop a very close relationship, he begins to understand the baby as well as the mother. This is exactly the kind of communication my husband has with his daughter. But with his son, whom he did not deal with so much, there is no longer such close contact. We noticed another one interesting detail and found confirmation of this in the literature - the child’s speech develops better when dad communicates with him a lot. Men have a low voice timbre, which has a positive effect on the development of the speech center in children. My daughter is now three years old, and she can already construct long sentences.

And one more thing: when a man actively participates in raising a child, his wife looks young and happy.

"Papal" rights:

For education

Caring for children, raising them - equal right and the duty of mothers and fathers (Article 38 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation).
If the parents live separately, the child has the right to communicate with each of them (Clause 1, Article 55 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).

A parent living separately has the right to participate in raising children. The person with whom the children live has no right to interfere with this communication if it does not cause harm to the physical and mental health of the child and his moral development(clause 1 of article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).

For parental leave

The father, like other close relatives, has the right to go on parental leave (Article 256 Labor Code RF).
At the request of the employee, the employer must provide the man with a break from work. The manager has no right to refuse. Men who are on maternity leave receive benefits. Until the child reaches the age of one and a half years, the employer pays it. The amount is 40% of average earnings.

For maternity capital

A man has the right to receive maternity capital, if he is the only adoptive parent for the second child, which is confirmed by a court decision no earlier than January 1, 2007. Also, if the mother of the children died, she was deprived of parental rights, she committed a crime that threatens the life and health of her children.

upbringing

An ancient wisdom says: “A person must do three things in his life: plant a tree, build a house and raise a son.” This phrase has been attributed to eastern peoples, and Caucasian, and even to a specific person, for example, Omar Khayyam. And they pronounce it differently: “a real man should...”, “... raise a child (not a son).”

One can speculate for a long time about what is hidden behind this phrase: “Home” is general concept family, family hearth. “Son” or “child” was important in ancient times: then there were many wars, and the son was the future protector. And only about the tree there are no doubts, everything is simple and unambiguous - a person (whether a man or a woman) must plant a tree.

If this thought has passed through centuries, then it reflects the truth. Why did people want to pass on to generations that everyone should plant a tree?

We cut down a lot of trees, build houses from them, burn them in furnaces, and now we also make paper... And how much do we plant?

"Trees are the lungs of our planet." This phrase is not so ancient, but it also reflects the truth. Nothing can replace the cleansing effect that tree leaves produce.

Our cities are looking more and more like gray concrete boxes with thousands of cars smoking among them.

What are we ready to do to correct this situation? How many trees does one family need to provide themselves with clean air?

Try planting a tree. At least one...

The gardener will immediately think to himself: “I have already planted more than one tree: an apple tree, a cherry tree, a pear tree, a plum tree...”. Honor and praise to you! But why only fruit trees? Unfortunately, their life is short-lived. In addition, all this is in your garden. And in the city there are so many abandoned corners and bare playgrounds, where there is nowhere to hide from the dust and sun.

TREE AS ​​MEMORY...

In ancient times, everything that was important was clothed in symbolic form and given some special meaning.

It was important to inspire people to plant trees and come up with the concept " Family Tree". It was a symbol of the fortress family line, a symbol of long family happiness.

This tree was planted the same year it was built new house, and the house was built when it was created new family: Then children were born... And years later the children said: this oak (cedar, maple) was planted by my father or grandfather. Such a tree is a kind of monument (from the word memory) - a memory of your life.

By the way, the tree became the property of the whole village, because it was planted in FRONT of the house - behind the fence.

Each man considered himself the ancestor (or successor) of his family. It was important that the family tree did not die or that a new tree grew instead of the old one, that is, the family line was not interrupted. Hence it came that every MAN should plant a tree.

WHAT TREE SHOULD I PLANT?

Having your own garden with fruit trees is, of course, good. But fruit crops have one significant “disadvantage”. In the fall, so many fruits ripen that they urgently need to be processed. If this is not a problem for you, plant it to your health.

And if you are busy at work and want to relax in the garden, then no one is stopping you from planting maple, linden, chestnut, oak and other trees. They are more durable than apple trees and do not burden you with the hassle of harvesting. Who said that you MUST grow only fruit trees in your garden?

MAPLE. Grows tall and powerful. An adult maple occupies a lot of space on six acres. But how beautiful he is! In autumn, the leaves are painted with all colors in yellow-orange tones. In summer, carved leaves create a cozy tent, under which it is pleasant to drink tea or take a nap in a hammock. But in practice, it rarely happens that maples are planted in the garden - it’s not allowed!

I have a friend who defended the right to have a huge maple tree on her property. At a meeting of gardeners, the question was raised that this allegedly contradicts the Gardening Charter.

But the maple does not bother anyone; all its shadow falls only on the territory of their plot. And the whole extended family gathers under this tree on weekends...

By the way, now it is possible to plant not an ordinary maple, but false siebolds. Its leaves are just as bright, but more elegant in shape.

LINDEN. Another example of a “non-standard” plant for the garden. One day I came to a garden where the entire front garden was in the shade of a huge linden tree. No one knew how old she was.

I asked: “Why such a huge tree that obscures the sun and prevents us from growing beautiful flowers"Without explaining anything, I was invited to visit a week later. Then everything became clear to me. The air was saturated with the aroma of linden - honey, sweet, magical! Yes, a wise decision received by the owner of the house when he planted this beautiful linden tree. And again, it grows behind the fence. This is the property of the entire street, which is filled with this aroma every summer.

CHESTNUT - it seems, not our tree, the southern one. But in central Russia, horse chestnut has taken root well. It blooms with “candles” of beautiful white flowers and has large palmate leaves. The blooms are awaited every year as they are a delightful sight! And in autumn the crown glows with golden foliage.

Once upon a time I planted such a chestnut tree a little boy not far from our house - I just buried a nut I found in the park. Now this chestnut tree has grown to the fifth floor, and the boy is already a grown man, working as a doctor. His son is proud that his dad is a doctor, and also that he planted a chestnut tree.

CEDAR. They say this is a “tree for grandchildren.” They mean that it bears fruit late, you won’t get nuts until you have grandchildren.

Nowadays this is not entirely true. Varieties with a faster fruiting period have been created. But we agreed that fruits are not the main thing for us. We are planting a "family tree". Cedar is just like that. I also have a special story about him.

Once upon a time, when I was still studying at the university, our friends decided to plant a cedar tree - from a nut. I asked: “When will he grow up? life will pass!"

And so, many years later, we came to their garden. There is a beautiful cedar tree growing in front of the house! The crown is lush, higher than the roof. And life has not yet passed... My son is 23 years old, about the same age as the cedar.

SPRUCE. Previously, spruce was not planted as a family tree, because it was believed that it brought misfortune. This was due to the fact that in ancient times a deceased person was covered with juniper branches (they have a strong bactericidal effect). If there was no juniper nearby, they took spruce branches.

Under Peter the Great, the spruce became a Christmas tree, and then a New Year's tree. Now the Christmas tree in front of the house is both desirable and beautiful. All year round it decorates the space with its lush green pine needles.

ROWAN. There is no need to talk about her. Loved by everyone and even sung in many songs and poems. Rowan is decorative all year round. This can rarely be said about deciduous trees, because in winter they stand bare. And the rowan is all in red clusters. They are amazing under the snow, how good they are!

And in the spring there is lush flowering. In summer - openwork foliage. And starting in August, ruby ​​clusters again appear, under the weight of which the branches bend. Well, how can you not love her!

April and early May are the time to plant trees. Have you decided which ones you will plant?

E. Demchuk, designer

, - what is the meaning of this definition?

What is the meaning of human life?

What does it take to be happy? Have you tried to answer these questions for yourself?

There is such a definition: "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son."

And many of us take this literally—they start a family and raise children. They are furnishing what they inherited from their parents or grandparents, or they are actually building or buying a house or apartment for themselves. They start a dacha or a garden where they plant and grow more than one tree. But they still happen, and very often, to be unhappy.

What is it to build a house?

Home is a place where love, kindness, understanding, mercy, help, care, tenderness, joy, and happiness live. Home is the entire space of your life. Home is your homeland. Home is everything that is sweet and dear to you, it is where you feel good.

You can also call yourself your home - a home or temple for your soul. That is, first of all, each person must become a home for the soul. So that his soul blossoms and sings, and this song of the soul pours out into the world, making it better.

What are we really doing? We build mansions for the body, do European-quality renovations, buy expensive carpets, furniture, and dishes. But this does not make our homes better - there is no warmth in them, no love. Yes, there is no time for the soul - continuous worries.

There is something to think about, isn’t it?

A - "to plant a tree"? What does this mean? Of course, and a literal tree. Each of us should take care of nature. Must love and preserve her. In their dacha or garden, everyone takes care of their own seedlings and seedlings, their own flowers and berries. He tries to water them, weed them, and remove excess dirt. And in nature, when you go on a picnic or pick mushrooms, or go fishing. How many of you pick up trash after yourself? How many of you put out the fires on which you cooked your kebab? Our forests and parks, and even just courtyard areas, have turned into a dump of garbage and dirt. And what is the use of the fact that everything at your dacha is sparkling clean, but near your entrance or house there is garbage and dirt?

But there is also another meaning "to plant a tree". This is to enable a new generation to grow and become a new tree of life, the Tree of Life. Your parents are the roots, you (family - spouses) are the trunk, your children are the branches, your grandchildren are the twigs, your great-grandchildren are the leaves. But every branch and twig, every leaf must grow its own Tree. This is how the ancestral grove grows - the clan.

What is it "create a family"? It’s not easy to meet a person, fall in love, have a wedding, give birth to a child, feed him, send him to be raised first in a nursery, kindergarten, school, institute, etc. This is a very responsible work, and first of all, with yourself. Everyone must find those ways and compromises that will make communication in the family comfortable, calm and joyful, full of warmth and love. Everyone should try very hard to raise their children to be reasonable and kind.

What is really happening today? Two young people meet who do not have the right morals in their relations with each other, since all means mass media today they talk about open relationship, not about morality, but about immorality. Young people do not understand and do not know what it is to love. And so-called falling in love, a sensual relationship, arises. And, these two really want to escape from the care of their parents, or one of the two is thinking about their own benefit (money, apartment, etc.), or it’s just this "last hope" start a family, or it just so happened that new person should be born soon. This is how it is created "family". And today it is even called "marriage".

Where is the love? Where in relationships with each other is trust, understanding, kindness, desire to help, tenderness. Usually there are none. There is either attachment (habit), or any obligations (the same marriage contract), or "hold" Small children. But the attitude towards our children is purely everyday - to feed, clothe, educate on time, and the school, the institute should be responsible for education, but not ourselves, we already spend a lot of money to provide our children with textbooks, a computer, clothes, food ; " so that they don't need anything", or were "no worse than others."

Where is the love for the child? Not cooing and indulging in whims, not excessive care, but love?

Exactly Mom and dad should be the first educators and teachers. It is mom and dad who should be the first comrades and friends.

Exactly mom and dad must show their child the world he has come to. It is you who must teach your child to love.

But how can you teach to love if you don’t know how?

Love is a very deep feeling that must be kept in balance. remember, that "from love to hate one step". Hatred comes from disappointment, from unfulfilled hopes.

What have you done to make all your hopes come true, to make your dream come true?

Love needs to be cultivated. Moreover, even just respect or deep affection can be grown to Great love. I can tell you this for sure. I went through this myself.

But for this you need to really love yourself and see in your partner, first of all, a person who has something to love for.

This is the kind of love that lasts long years. It's like in fairy tales: "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day".

You need to try not to change another person with your moral teachings, but to change yourself. Understand what is important in life for you and for him. Find compromises, and such that both you and your other half feel calm and comfortable. So that in your relationship there are no omissions or even small deceptions. And this is a job for two spouses.

The simplest thing is to say that he (she) himself does not want to change, that you are already doing a lot for a calm family life that you are already tired of adjusting and giving in.

And this is how many families live. And children in such families grow up the same way - ignorant of happiness - there was no one to learn from.

Here you go "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son".

It turns out that each of us must first educate ourselves. Understand yourself. Accept yourself. Learn to love, learn to give and receive love.

It's difficult, but anyone can do it!

After all, this is precisely why we came to this earth - to learn to love..

And I’m talking about love not as a relationship or feelings for another person, but about selfless, unconditional, boundless and pure love. This is love for yourself - as the temple of the soul, this is love for the world in which you live, this is love for the people who surround you, this is love for your roots - all your ancestors, this is love for God, as the Creator of everything and everyone, this is love for the person who is your soul mate, this is love for your children, an extension of yourself, this is love for all living things.

But how to learn to Love?!

Start changing yourself: “Change yourself, and the world will change around you!”

It is not simple beautiful words. This is a rule that each of us must follow if we want to live in a better world.

Everyone knows the saying that a real man should have time to plant a tree, raise a son and build a house in his life. Having a house, a garden and a son are the traditional criteria for a man’s success. But is it necessary? to the modern man strive for these three cherished goals or does success today lie in something else?

The simplest task, at first glance, seems to be the task “Raise a son" Many men have sons, but not all of them raise them, that is, care for and educate them. Unfortunately, many fathers do not pay enough attention to their sons and sometimes do not even love them. But it is the father who is the boy’s role model!

The most effective education is education based on by example. Therefore, the task “Raising a son”, in fact, implies the ability to begin with becoming a real man, one from whom the son will take an example and, based on this example, grow up as a worthy person.

But in order to raise a son, caring only about the formation of his personality is not enough; you also need to think about external, material well-being. It is unlikely that a child will be happy if the family lives in poverty. Hence the second task of a man - “Build a house”.

Of course, it is not necessary to build a house yourself and it is not at all necessary that it be a house. It is enough to have an apartment, the main thing is that it is your own!

A successful man these days can buy an apartment in the city or a house outside the city. If buy a plot of land in a cottage village , you can build your house yourself, with your own hands. And then the second task will certainly be completed 100%!

The meaning of the task “ To plant a tree” is perhaps the deepest. What trees are usually planted? Fruit! Those from which you can harvest, those that later grow into a large garden. This means that a man must be able to find a direction of development, work and business from which he can receive constant profit.

The “tree” that feeds will help the man both maintain the house he has built and provide everything necessary for his entire family.

But even if we take the third task literally, it does not become less significant for life. By planting trees, people save the planet, and therefore themselves. Everyone today wants to live in an ecologically clean area, everyone loves to relax in nature and many would like to live in the country.

Ideally, if you have an apartment in a metropolis, for example, in Moscow, buy country cottage area not far from the city, where you can go to relax from the bustle of the city and breathe fresh air. In the Moscow region, country houses are especially popular plots in the Gorky direction , since here you can relax in nature, while being in close proximity from the capital.

So, all three tasks are still relevant in our time. And these days, having a garden, a house and a son are the criteria for the success of a real man.

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