Henryk Sienkiewicz, where are you going? "Kamo Gryadeshi" by Sienkiewicz: description and analysis of the novel from the encyclopedia

Is it possible to punish your child? Most often this question is asked by young parents. The topic of corporal punishment is very controversial. There are 2 categories of parents: the first use physical punishment, and the second do not. To hit the butt or not to hit? what if he doesn't listen? What consequences might there be?

Key parenting styles

The history of human development identifies three main parenting styles that parents use:

What is physical punishment?

A type of punishment, the purpose of which is to inflict bodily pain on the offender, is considered to be physical. Besides known methods(slap, belt on the butt), there are also punishments with a towel, slippers, a click on the forehead, etc. All these methods pursue one goal: to show their superiority over the child, to create a painful effect, to prove that they are right.

The main reasons for physical punishment of children

Most modern mothers and fathers, when punishing their children, believe that this is their parental duty. But there are several key reasons for this:

Why don't children listen?

We all know that there are no ideal and obedient children. In psychology, there are several reasons for children's disobedience:

• diffidence;
• gaps in education;
• a way to attract attention;
• desire for contradictions;
• a way to assert oneself;
• There are a lot of demands on the child.

Most children's whims and cases of disobedience are due to the fact that the child grows up, feels like an independent unit, and parents still think that he is still a baby. The baby does not obey if mom and dad do not pay attention to him. This is very effective method. If you don’t devote enough time to your child, then he may become offended, and then he may do everything not as you want, but as he sees fit.

Your heir may feel the parents' increased irritability and frequent tugging at their clothes. The lack of a system in raising children is observed when children take part in this process. a large number of people - father and mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts. Each teacher has his own method; it may differ from the methods of other family members. For some, the behavior of the baby is the norm, for others it is unacceptable, and then the baby does not know how to behave correctly.

Parents who use an authoritarian parenting style have many demands on their child, sometimes inappropriate for their development and age. They put their opinion above all else, but the child’s opinion is not taken into account, they are only demanded from him. If he does not follow the instructions, then he is punished. It is very difficult for a child to develop in such an environment.

Impact on the child

Physical and psychological methods are prohibited by law, but many parents practice this method, considering it the most effective. Adults often cannot contain their anger; it is easier for them to hit them in the butt with a belt than to explain accessible language child his wrongness. If you use one as corporal punishment, then expect consequences. Often a little person develops a fear, which can subsequently greatly affect his future life.

If a child is afraid of a loved one, this may affect him in the future. interpersonal relationships, adaptation in society, at work. Parents should know that it is impossible to hit their butt, humiliate, or shout at their heir, because he can grow up unsure of himself, without aspirations in life. He will think that whoever has the power is right.

Physical effects of corporal punishment

Very often, corporal punishment leads to physical injury to your child. This is due to the fact that many parents do not calculate their strength when punishing their children. Getting used to slaps on the butt occurs, especially if they are used every day. This leads to the fact that the child’s behavior does not change, and the strength of bodily influences increases. The result is severe bodily injury.

Without controlling himself, a parent is capable of causing injury to a child that is incompatible with his life. And then punishing children will lead to disastrous consequences. Cuffs and slaps on the head cause the baby to hit a sharp corner or other objects in the house.

Physical consequences can manifest themselves in the form of enuresis, various tics, encopresis, etc. Don't hit children, be more reasonable! After all, the child is several times smaller than you.

Psychological effects of corporal punishment

• Low self-esteem. The child will be guided throughout life by the principle: whoever has the power is right.
• Impact on the child's psyche, developmental delay is possible.
• Lack of concentration in lessons and games.
• Projection of the same behavior onto your own children.
• Most children who are physically abused become child abusers in the future.
• The child stops living in reality, without solving the problems that have arisen, without studying.
• There are always feelings of fear and a desire for revenge.
• Punishment and humiliation leads to loneliness, the child feels alienated and unwanted.
• There is a distance from parents, relationships deteriorate. If violence is used in a family, there will be no common ground.

Psychological consequences also include frequent restlessness, a feeling of confusion, fear, and increased anxiety. Appetite may worsen, the child may sleep poorly, and hyperactivity may increase.

An alternative to corporal punishment, or how to punish a child

Manifestation of weakness, lack of certain pedagogical knowledge and skills in parents leads to physical harm in order not to harm him? You can't hit children on the bottom, use an alternative. What you need for this:

• It is necessary to switch the child's attention to something else.
• You should captivate the little one with such an activity so that he stops playing around.
• Come up with new entertainment to encourage your baby, and not vice versa. For example, you can put all the scattered toys in a box. Read him his favorite book or bedtime story.
• Kiss and hug your baby so he can feel your warmth and love. Spend more free time with him.
• Replace corporal punishment with more loyal methods (don't go for a walk, turn off the TV, take away the tablet).

Treat your children’s pranks philosophically, projecting the entire spectrum of actions onto yourself. Try to communicate more with your children, create trusting relationships with each other, and then the problems will become much less. Learn to deal with problems without punishment. It is important for parents to understand that children should not be hit on the bottom under any circumstances!

You can often see an indignant mother on the street spanking her bawling baby on the butt. This common method of education is firmly rooted in our society and is considered a necessary measure of influence on a disobedient child. Is it possible to hit a child on the bottom, and what do psychologists say about this?

As soon as the toddler begins to move independently on his legs, he is inevitably exposed to educational influence from adults. "Do not go there! Don't pick up the poop! Get away from the TV! — the baby does something wrong all day long. What are the types of educational measures?

Throughout its history of development, humanity has formed three educational methods:

1. authoritarian;
2. democratic;
3. mixed.

In the first case, the child is subjected to training or drilling: he is obliged to accurately carry out all the orders of adults, otherwise he will be punished. The baby gets used to this educational style. It’s good if it is not accompanied by physical suggestions.

The democratic method involves communicating with the little one, giving him the right to express his opinion and defend his position. Parents who do not spare their efforts are ready for this style of communication. educational process and want to form from the baby a holistic personality with a sense of human dignity.

Dangerous methods

“I was beaten as a child, so what?” - this is how modern mothers argue, justifying their frayed nerves. Everyone was taught at school that it is undignified and cruel to offend little children: they cannot respond to aggression. Everyone was taught that “you don’t beat someone who’s lying down.” So why don’t these rules apply to your own children? Maybe because the baby is considered property?

First of all, it hurts. Secondly, it's a shame. Thirdly, it generates aggression in response. Then the parents wonder why their adult son is so cruel! Another extreme of this method can be the child’s lack of confidence in his strengths and capabilities: the baby will be afraid to reveal his potential. So is it possible to hit a child? Categorically: no. This is violence.

The use of violence may result in:

• injury to the child's body;
• mental trauma;
• accumulation of aggression;
• desire to go against;
• the desire to take revenge in return.

This set of character traits is formed imperceptibly and is like a time bomb. Fear of punishment (especially when they hit the butt with a belt out of “good intentions”) has a negative impact not only on the psyche, but also on the body’s metabolic processes:

• when feeling offended, the throat constricts;
• the excretory system suffers from fear.

Remember your feelings during nervous experiences: either uncontrollable hunger attacks you, or you don’t feel like eating at all. The child feels the same! At strong feeling Out of fear, the baby may pee in his pants or crap himself - this will further aggravate the unpleasant situation. Is it necessary to apply such educational measures?

Advice. If you get loose and want to hit the baby in the butt, you need to put yourself in his place. Not much pleasant.

But the most unpleasant thing is yet to come: some children may suffer from enuresis from being hit on the butt with a belt or hand! Do you need a wet crib in the morning for educational purposes? A strong blow to the butt shakes the baby’s entire body and hits the kidneys. Here's an explanation for why you shouldn't hit children. But parents don’t want to think about this in the educational rush.

Why doesn't the baby listen?

Psychologists have identified several reasons for children's disobedience. These include:

1. struggle for self-affirmation;
2. a way to attract attention;
3. desire to contradict;
4. feeling of uncertainty;
5. inconsistency in education;
6. excessive demands on the baby.

The feeling of uniqueness is inherent in all people, however, over time it can disappear. By the age of one year, the baby recognizes himself as a person who has own opinion and position. It’s the adults who perceive him as a baby, but not he himself! This is where many children's whims and misunderstandings take their roots.

If a toddler lacks attention, he finds a way to influence adults - disobedience. Very effective way! Doing the opposite is also one of the methods of influencing a child on his parents. The reasons for this behavior may be resentment or lack of parental attention.

A feeling of self-doubt arises due to the constant tugging of the baby and irritation of parents at the slightest provocation. The little man is simply trying to defend himself and stops perceiving the mother’s constant tugging and abstracts himself.

Unsystematic upbringing occurs when a child has a lot of educators - mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, uncles and aunts. Each teacher has his own ideas about proper education, which may contradict the views of other family members. This style can be called “swan, crayfish and pike”. The kid simply doesn’t know what to do: some praise him, others punish him.

Some parents present little man simply impossible demands. This usually happens with authoritarian parents who elevate their word and power to absolutes. No one listens to the child, no one is interested in his condition - they just demand. If you do not comply with the requirement, punishment follows. Being in such an atmosphere is extremely difficult even for adults, not to mention children.

Did you know that you can make purchases in online stores with DISCOUNTS OF UP TO 70% all year round!? Find out what sales and discounts on children's clothing, as well as other children's products, are valid right now!

What to do with a naughty baby?

Japanese tradition prohibits scolding and punishing children under five years of age. This time is considered sacred; the child must not be touched for educational purposes. What to do, and is it possible to spank a child if he does not understand the words? In this situation it is better to do this:

1. switch the toddler’s attention to another object;
2. take him away from the place where he is playing around and disobeying;
3. try to come to an agreement.

Many parents, and even psychologists, advise that when a child behaves inappropriately, lightly hit the butt with your palm. Is it necessary to do this? Mothers motivate their right to hit this way: out of surprise, the baby forgets about his pranks and begins to perceive educational information better. Maybe this is rational. But the consequences of this approach will be negative: over time.

What can replace a slap on the butt? As a last resort, you can:

• shout at the baby;
• pull his hand.

Remember that only parents have the right to shout at a child or pull his hand. Don't let teachers kindergarten treat the baby roughly: they do not have the right to do this. Moreover, spanking the butt or the back! If you learn about this from your child, raise the question point blank at a meeting or in the manager’s office. The baby should feel the protection of his parents.

How else can you punish a little naughty person? It is allowed to isolate the baby: put him in a corner for a short time or lock him in his room. You can deprive a child of a walk to the playground or not give him sweets.

Important! You cannot intimidate small children with old women and wolves! Some sensitive kids can become very stressed due to their fear of monsters.

Obedient children

What kind of children are obedient? Psychologists are sure that absolute obedience is unnatural for a normal, cheerful child who is different good health. Children are absolutely obedient:

• with a phlegmatic character;
• with congenital diseases;
• with weak immunity;
• intimidated by punishment.

Children who are phlegmatic by nature do not bother anyone, do not create problems and do not distract adults over “little things.” Such children do not need to be beaten with a belt and spanked on the bottom - they do not set a precedent. However, with this type of character, it will be difficult for a child to adapt to a society where most people are sanguine or choleric.

Children who are naturally sick are also “obedient”: they do not have a source of additional energy for curiosity, which causes parents’ displeasure. What is a process of learning about the world for a child causes criticism or anger from parents. “Don't go near the socket! Who did you tell?” Mom shouts. Do you think the baby will listen? He will climb anyway, and then get hit in the butt with a belt or hand. Curiosity is one of the reasons for disobedience.

He was beaten with a belt many times and left with such methods of education deep wound in the shower. It's simple perfect child: does not complain about anything, does not ask for anything, does not irritate adults. But how difficult it will be for him in life, mom and dad have no idea! This will be an adult with a full set of phobias and complexes.

Results

Let's figure out why parents resort to violence against their children? Do they have the right to do this? Theoretically, they do: the baby is completely at the mercy of the adults. The dependent position gives parents the right to go too far for educational purposes at any time. However, this is simply an excuse for their pedagogical failure: mothers do not want to waste energy convincing their baby. The simplest and easy way- hit on the butt with a flourish.

The educational process is never smooth and takes a lot of mental energy from adults. However, it is important to demonstrate patience and understanding towards the little person. Why can't you hit children? Physical impact:

• harms health;
• cripples the psyche;
• provokes retaliatory aggression;
• creates a feeling of embitterment.

Many kids withdraw into themselves and try to distance themselves from endless stream complaints. Over time, you may end up with an uncontrollable teenager who is angry and violent. It is better not to use physical force for educational reasons.

How to get rid of stretch marks after childbirth?

To hit or not to hit - that is the question when it comes to raising our children, whose behavior leaves much to be desired. Is it possible to beat children if they consciously behave badly and, understanding everything perfectly, do something that should not be done? Many believe that yes, it is possible and necessary (churches, for example). There is another opinion - you should not beat children under any circumstances, because this is fraught with consequences.

What are the consequences? Why can't you hit children? Maybe it's still possible?

I will tell the story of one very good family in which they did everything for the sake of their children. This story - good lesson for parents and the answer to the age-old question - should you beat a child if he deserves it?

Beaten children, beloved children

The Kiselyov family was considered exemplary; they were even shown on TV. Of course, even though the family has many children, the parents took care of each child, sparing no time, no money, no effort. The children were involved in various clubs and achieved unprecedented success in many ways, taking first places in competitions.

The parents of Rita, Sasha and Kirill dedicated their entire lives to their children. They saved on their needs so that their children did not need anything. They really wanted to do everything in their power to ensure that their children grew up developed and could achieve success in life.

The children's mother was very caring. Their home always had exceptional order and comfort. The children ate properly and on time, and were always clean and beautiful.

But... they had one problem. The Kiselyov children were not ideal - they fought, were lazy, threw tantrums, violated discipline, and in general, did not behave the way their parents would like. They often irritated my mother, and then she took out the belt.

The Kiselyovs’ mother believed that beating a child with a belt was a completely acceptable method of education. Her parents raised her that way, and so did her brother.

There were times when irritation accumulated. Then my mother lost her temper... At such moments, the person who caused her anger faced a difficult fate. The mother frantically beat the offending child, pulled him by the hair, and called him the most humiliating words.

Then the woman came to her senses and... cried... She asked the beaten child for forgiveness, hugged him, kissed him and talked about her love for him...

She loved her children very much, but could not help herself. Every time she broke down, she did it again and again. It would seem that the children should have been afraid of their mother’s cruel punishment, but they did not behave better. Knowing full well what awaited them, the children continued to behave badly.

Sometimes it seemed like they were taking my mother out on purpose. They know that she has no nerves, it would seem, try, work on yourself - but no.

This is how this family lived. Outwardly she is ideal, but... with her skeletons in the closet.

Many years later…

When Rita, Sasha and Kirill grew up, the problems did not end. On the contrary, the problems have become more widespread. They say about such people: “ Big kids, big troubles."

As soon as Rita broke free from parental control, she found herself in very bad story. The girl fell in love and, secretly from her parents, began to live with a young man who turned out to be a real sadist. He mocked her as best he could, and when she tried to leave, he threatened her. Something kept the girl in this relationship almost whole year, during which she lost the will to live. The parents found the girl and saved her, but...

Rita's fate was bad. Because of the story with the sadistic torturer, she did not graduate from college. And although Rita was very beautiful, smart, interesting and talented girl, and many guys liked her, she always had relationships only with those men next to whom she suffered...

... Sasha was fatally unlucky in life. He left the institute, got married somehow thoughtlessly, “out of nowhere,” life with his young wife was nightmare. The couple often argued and fought. Sasha started drinking... He had a very complex nature, it was hard to live with him. In general, Kiselyov’s parents were very worried about him, but other than to feel sorry for him, they could not help.

How was Kirill’s life? Kirill is the most successful of the Kiselev children. He is the only one who graduated from university (albeit with difficulty - more than once he wanted to quit his studies). An intelligent and talented young man gained a good reputation in his city and made a good career in a field that he liked. Kirill dated his girlfriend for 4 years - everything was great with him... until the wedding.

A beautiful wedding in a luxurious restaurant was the beginning of the test. Only a few years passed, and family relationships fell apart. It all started with troubles and money problems - Kirill lost his job. The family found itself in debt. He began to reproach his young wife more and more often - she was bad, a bad housewife and a useless mother.

The young man turned out to be a verbal sadist. In the end, his wife took the child and went to live with her parents.

The fate of all three children who were beaten in childhood turned out to be very difficult. Each of them was deeply unhappy... The efforts of their parents, who tried their best to give them a good education, develop their creative and physical abilities, did not help them in adult life.

Their fate was built by their mother’s heavy hand...

What happens when a father or mother hits a child?

Hitting a child's bottom is an old-fashioned method of education that many mothers and fathers trust. It may seem incredible that corporal punishment affects the future of a child in the most destructive way, but this is actually true, because many of our adult problems come from childhood.

why you shouldn't hit children

When parents hit their child, they deprive him of the feeling of safety and security that he needs. young creature for proper mental development. When a child is deprived of this feeling, his psyche tries to “defend” itself by activating early (archetypal) programs that are inadequate for modern world. Mental development this makes it much more difficult.

It will be very difficult for a person with an undeveloped psyche to realize himself in the future. Instead of enjoying his life, he will suffer. He may be healthy, smart, handsome and talented, but the scenario of his behavior will not bring him happiness and pleasure.

Depending on what vectors (innate mental properties) nature has endowed the child with, the consequences of physical punishment for his life may be different.

Let's take advantage System-vector psychology and analyze what happened to the Kiselyov children.

Rita

Rita's life scenario - all her sufferings and failures, bad people on her way - all this is predetermined by unconscious masochism in the skin vector.

You cannot beat children with any vectors, and you cannot beat a child with a skin vector categorically! Such a child has very delicate skin and a low pain threshold. When he is beaten, a masochistic scenario is formed in his psyche (I wrote about this in more detail here). The little skinman, who has begun to adapt the pain from beatings, that is, to release endorphins, specifically behaves in such a way (unconsciously, of course) so that he is punished.

In adult life, such a person unconsciously seeks humiliation and pain. His life passes in suffering and disappointment. Unless he is aware of the mechanisms that live on him...

Sasha and Kirill

Physical punishment in childhood prevented the development of Sasha's anal and skin vectors. His undeveloped anal vector made him a sadist.

The so-called “loser complex” lives in his psyche - a frequently encountered male version masochism. Alcohol helps Sasha make his life easier, temporarily relieving his suffering.

Kirill's tendency towards verbal sadism manifested itself during a period of stress, when he lost his job and could not realize himself. This is how unrealized men with an anal vector behave. By sadistizing, the anal sex relieves mental stress for a short time and receives temporary relief.

The consequences of beating in childhood can be much more serious, global and destructive: a boy with the skin vector can grow up to be a thief, a swindler; skinny girl - a prostitute, (quite a thief too); a beaten urethral girl, having matured, will become a masculine lesbian, a urethral boy - a dangerous criminal, a skin-visual - a transvestite... List Negative consequences for different vectors (let me remind you that there are 8 of them) and their combinations can take a long time...

Do you still think it's okay to beat children?

Does this change anything? Does physical punishment actually help correct a child's behavior? Why then does he behave badly again and again, just like the Kiselyov children?

I assure you - it’s better not to! Moreover, there are no problem children. If a child behaves destructively, it means that the parents are making mistakes in their interaction with him (more details). Correct the behavior of a disobedient youth and find him mutual language possible without belts and fists.

I hit a child - what should I do?

It’s another matter when a father or mother beats a child because he cannot restrain himself. Frantically. Like the Kiselyovs’ mother.

What makes a parent hurt the closest and dearest person - their own child? Of course, the psychic, hidden in the unconscious. Frustration (unconscious and unfulfilled desires) in the anal vector makes us sadistic, temporarily relieving mental stress. Physical violence from parents can frighten a child and thereby temporarily correct his behavior. But it will NEVER benefit him...

What do you say about education through corporal punishment? Most likely, you will be strongly against it. Let's turn the pages of history and look at how our ancestors raised their children. Beating at that time was the norm and even the rule good upbringing. As a result, we see that in those days obedience was not just a word, and even contradicting parents was considered rebellion and happened only in exceptional cases. In those days, whims were unheard of. So what is a “whip”? good method, and is it better than the modern “gingerbread”? It is the question of the appropriateness of corporal punishment that we will examine today.

Not long ago, physical punishment of children was commonplace.

Psychological aspect

Before we start the conversation, let's look at the statistics. About 95% of respondents, when asked whether their parents beat them in childhood, answered in the affirmative. More than half of them, namely 65%, added that these punishments brought them tangible benefits.

Let us now move on to consider the influence of physical punishment on the child’s psyche. Psychologists, as well as all other sensible people, are convinced that a child will never find a reliable defense against such a weighty “argument”. With the goal of forcing the baby to do something, bypassing his endless whims and harmfulness, the parent, using force, will solve it very effectively.

Everything works, but here the question arises: what is the reason bad behavior has not been clarified or resolved. Thus, we get only a short-term effect. Dr. Komarovsky also speaks about this. To regularly fulfill your requests and demands, you will have to resort to violence all the time. Is constant beating not part of your plans? Remember that the child is afraid of punishment only the first few times, then he gets used to it and only becomes more and more embittered against you. The desire for revenge, based on resentment and pain, grows.

Parents, as a rule, in most cases strongly repent after each breakdown. Their sense of guilt is growing, because they raised their hand to a small and completely defenseless person.

Most main advice, how to restrain anger and assault: feeling that you are about to lose your temper, quickly run out of the room, breathe deeply several times, count: 1, 2, 3, 4... and so on. Help yourself in any way you can to avoid another beating.

Science versus beating

This article talks about typical ways to solve your issues, but each case is unique! If you want to find out from me how to solve your particular problem, ask your question. It's fast and free!

WITH scientific point From our point of view, the question of the advisability of using physical punishment for educational purposes has been considered more than once by scientists. Professor Murray Strauss, who teaches at the University of New Hampshire, says that children whose parents beat them as children are more likely to mature age have more low level intellectual development(IQ). Grown-up children whose parents tried to look for alternative options and methods of education have higher rates.

Are we really, without wanting it, introducing a “fad” into the child’s psyche about his low self-esteem, giving him self-doubt, and reducing his mental abilities? Are we really inviting fear and pain to replace confidence and intelligence? We see that children study poorly and think slower than their peers, we reproach them and punish them for every bad mark, but this only aggravates the situation.

Law against beating

About 13 out of 100 people participating in an independent survey pointed to the fact that the problem of domestic violence should be not only internal, personal, but also social. These issues should be dealt with by special bodies monitoring the observance of the rights and freedoms of the child. Such services should come to the rescue of a defenseless person who does not yet have enough own strength confront the threat. It is always easy to punish the weak. In the legislative system of any country, you can easily find a clause that states that any violence against children must be prosecuted by law, even to the extent of deprivation of parental rights.

Remember, hitting a child is prohibited from a moral or legal point of view. Not a single part of the body is designed for violence - not the back, not the butt, and especially not the head! This is the law!

Seeing a hysterical fit in a 3-year-old child and feeling that only a spank can bring him back to reality, do not rush to do this. Remember that you can always find other methods of influence. For example, use this: sit the baby on your lap and hug him tightly. Give him the opportunity to calm down in your arms and come to his senses. After some time, you will be able to talk to him calmly.

When deciding for yourself whether to physically punish a child or not, and not finding convincing arguments that such actions contradict all possible principles - moral, mental, and legal - answer yourself this question: what can give rise to violence (we recommend reading:) ? Answer yourself honestly: nothing but violence.

Consequences of assault

Let us emphasize again: never hit a child! Compare the situation when someone hit you. How will you treat this person? How is a child different? in this case? Yes, practically nothing. The mechanism for perceiving the situation is the same. Still just tiny, the kids already harbor in their little heads the dream of revenge on their parents. They cannot cope with adults yet, so they switch to easier targets: younger comrades, animals. It is terrible to understand that the wrong behavior of parents towards their children can ultimately give birth to the country of new maniacs, murderers, rapists and sadists. Most of these monsters were at one time victims of excessive domestic violence.

Why can't you hit children? As soon as you hit the baby, he immediately understands that:

• it is possible to hit the weak;
• parents are unable to cope with children's pranks;
• assault - great way solve all problems;
• the closest people (parents) cause fear, you need to be afraid of them;
• the child does not have physical ability respond to the offender.

Despite the fact that 67% of parents surveyed speak negatively about the use of physical punishment for educational purposes, they still periodically spank their children. Often parents raise their hand against a weak toddler because of their own powerlessness. They cannot convey the word “impossible” to the little one in any other way. Hitting the butt seems to them the most effective way. No, it shouldn't be like that. Anyone can understand a tired mother, exhausted, irritated and frustrated, but none of the listed conditions justifies spanking and slaps in the face of her beloved baby. Feeling that you are about to lose your temper and lose your temper, begin to act: count to 10, breathe deeply, go to another room, hit a pillow, try different ways eliminating anger. Do your best, but don't let yourself hit the weak.

What to do?

We have already mentioned that bad deeds, harmfulness and whims are only consequences, and the reason lies in something completely different. What? It will seem strange and banal - the desire to be seen and heard.

The baby wants to get our attention at any cost, so give him that attention. Walk and play together more often, hug and kiss more often. You will see how correctly you are acting: affection and care can melt the coldest ice of the heart.

What to do when you have exhausted all verbal arguments? What to do if you absolutely need to convey to your child that his actions are wrong? Silence is not an option, but trying to change the situation can be a good method.

Learn to make compromises

Situation: you are tired and want to sleep, but the baby still won’t calm down. You tried everything to calm him down: requests, threats... It seems that he is doing everything on purpose to annoy you. A little more and you will lose your temper... Stop! Imagine in the place of your 4-year-old toddler an adult - your friend the same age. He wants to have fun and make noise, while you are already mortally tired and falling off your feet. Are you going to spank him or, worse, flog him with a belt? Most likely, you will try to find another way to negotiate. You will either go to another room yourself, or ask him to leave, citing your own fatigue. Try the same methods with your baby. It may turn out that the baby just misses you, then the surest remedy is a strong hug and a sincere conversation.

The second situation: the child offends other children on the playground and may hit them on the head with a spatula. Step aside with him and talk to him calmly but firmly, explaining that you will go home now, since he does not know how to play well with others. Also tell him that you will do this until he learns good behavior. Seeing that even after your conversations the baby continues to do bad things, know for sure that he is doing it out of spite. This is how he wants to get your attention.

Give yourself the opportunity to be real

Scale negative emotions Your child’s pranks and pranks will soon reach the boiling point. You fight with yourself, try not to scream or get angry, but still, having reached the limit, you cannot cope and again beat your little blood (we recommend reading:). After this, you reproach yourself, scold and blame. Not worth it. Most the best option- talk to your child and explain why you did this.

Conversations can be had at any age. It doesn’t matter how old the baby is now - one, two, three years old or 10 years old. Don’t be shy about your anger and irritation, let your baby know about them. Don't strive to be perfect mom, be lively and natural. Call a spade a spade: “I was terribly angry with you because...” Always back up your words with explanations. By freeing yourself from the need to accumulate anger and anger, and by learning to talk about it with your child, you will see for yourself that the need for punishment will disappear by itself.

Find the root cause within yourself

If you begin to regularly and methodically spank your little one for any offense, but for serious offenses you can spank him severely, there is a clear problem. Of course, not a child’s room, but your personal one. Being in a difficult emotional and mental state, the parent is constantly tense and irritated. With punishments and spanking, he takes out his anger and relieves stress. Most people who beat children were beaten themselves as children. They don’t see anything wrong with beating: we were punished with a belt on the butt, and we will be punished too. Realizing that his parents’ tactics towards the person were wrong, he keeps shielding them, proving to those around him and to himself that beating is useful. Such parents may hit their child on the lips in the heat of anger for some impudent word addressed to them.

In such situations, the surest way is to get rid of childhood psychological trauma. If you don’t see the reason for your anger and frequent use of corporal punishment, consult a psychologist. The science of psychology will help in this case to identify the root cause and eliminate it.

The main assistants in the matter of education, namely humane education, are patience and boundless love. Raising children is a lot of work and not easy, but all problems and difficulties can be overcome. Seeing the negativity from the toddler, do not rush to conclusions. It is important to find out the reason for this behavior. Don't forget that each age has its own characteristics and needs that need to be listened to.

The main theme of the work is the life of the first Christians of the Roman community and the first persecution of Christians in the Roman Empire.

Reading the “Annals”, I more than once felt that the idea was ripening in me to give artistic contrast these two worlds, one of which represented the omnipotent ruling force of the administrative machine, and the other represented exclusively spiritual power.

Henryk Sienkiewicz managed to recreate a picture of Rome in the 60s of the 1st century AD. e. with great historical accuracy. In addition to the “Annals” of Tacitus, his sources were the works of other ancient authors, as well as the works of historians. According to the writer, when writing any other novel, he did not work so much with historical documents.

Almost the entire action of the novel takes place in Rome and its environs. The famous Roman fire is shown in detail, which, according to legend, Nero organized himself to cause poetic inspiration. During the reign of Nero, Christians were subjected to large-scale persecution for the first time; the emperor blamed them for the fire.

Bust of Sienkiewicz in the Quo Vadis church

During this persecution, the apostles Peter and Paul became martyrs; their deaths are also described in the book. The title of the novel was suggested to the writer by an ancient legend: the Apostle Peter, after the destruction of almost all Christians in Rome, secretly leaves the city; outside the city he meets Christ and asks him: “Where are you going, Lord?” Christ answers: “Since you are leaving My people, I am going to Rome for a new crucifixion.” After this, Peter returned to Rome and suffered martyrdom. Peter's Basilica on Vatican Hill is dedicated to this event, as well as the church-chapel that has survived to this day "Quo vadis" on Via Appia in Rome (near the ancient Capena Gate). In the church-chapel there is a bust of Sienkiewicz, erected by Polish emigrants.

The personality of Gaius Petronius Arbiter, whose tragic fate also described in the book. Being a childhood friend of the future Emperor Nero and his peer, he could not even imagine what the reign of this crazy comedian emperor would lead to in the future. Nero considered himself an outstanding singer, musician and writer, often performed in the circus arena and at numerous orgies, while not being as talented as he thought of himself. Petronius, being a man with a subtle mental organization, a true connoisseur of real art, was unable to look at how this pathetic comedian mocked the beautiful. Even the fact that he was young scared him, and he still long years he had to pretend to admire his friend’s “talents.” Seeing true face the one whom he treasured in childhood, he prefers to commit suicide, just so as not to see how everything beautiful is desecrated and spat upon, and being unable to bear disappointments. Petronius gathers his friends around him and arranges for them a final farewell feast, at which he opens his veins to the sounds of musicians singing. Sienkiewicz writes that his beloved slave Evnika also passed away with him. Before his death, Petronius reads to the guests Farewell letter Nero, in which he sets out the reasons for his death:

“Oh, I ask you, do not think that I am disgusted that you killed your mother, wife and brother, that you burned Rome and sent all the decent people in your state to Erebus. No, dear great-grandson of Chronos! Death is the destiny of the human herd, and nothing else could be expected from you. But for many, many years to torment my ears with your singing, to see your Domitian thin legs twitching in the Pyrrhean dance, to listen to your playing, your recitation and your verses, oh pathetic provincial poet - this is what became unbearable for me and aroused the desire to die.” Soon Petronius and Eunice die from blood loss.