Why don't the French like Russian women? Is it true that the French speak English very poorly and why? Dostoevsky and hieroglyphs
How do foreigners see the French? What do they say about them? What are the characteristics of the French in the eyes of other nationalities? Positive or negative characteristics, strict or softening assessments, neutral or mixed judgments. The French - what are they like?
What are the French like? What do foreigners think of the French?
1. “The French eat a lot of bread, with all dishes, salad, cheese. In the morning, they make sandwiches - bread and butter - and dip them in the cafe. They even have a dessert of bread and toast - "croutons".
Zhan Lin, Chinese student.
2. “I think the French are very suspicious, especially when you have to pay for it. They want to know everything about a product before they buy it. They seem to be afraid of being deceived. Often, after much doubt, they don’t even buy.”
Suwanna Oupathum, merchant, Bangkok.
3. “In France, I discovered that people are very ironic. They often make fun of others behind their backs. The French often make fun of people’s physical defects, it’s not very nice.”
Jane, Australian, student.
4. “The French love to talk and discuss. Their discussions seem endless. In a cafe you can often see a picture: there are two who have entered into a verbal duel, and the rest are listening.”
Olof, Swedish student.
5. “I find that Frenchmen and Frenchwomen are natural, and, in general, elegant in their simplicity. TV actors are the same. There’s nothing like ours, when it seems like everyone just left the hairdresser.”
Terry, American, fashion model.
6. “The French can be very inquisitive, they will ask you everything: “What do you think about this? How is it for you? Do you agree with this? In France, it seems, there is always an opinion about politics, events, its culture...”
Mariko, Japanese, student.
7. “We rarely talk about money in France. If you are invited to a house and ask them a question about the price they paid for a sofa or a DVD player, you will offend your hosts.”
Jennifer, Hong Kong student.
8. “It's a bit of a cliché, I know, but I agree that the French are individualists. This means that they do not spend time with you in noisy companies, especially if everything is spontaneous. In the evenings they remain in small groups and take a long time to integrate into big society. More often than not, they need to be introduced there by someone.”
Monica, Brazilian artist
9. “I find French people, especially French women, very nice.”
Aristide, Ghanaian journalist.
10. “It’s less and less likely to find French people who agree to speak English with you, especially among young people. It is true that the French are very attached to their language. But those who know how to speak other languages do it with great pleasure.”
Steve, British businessman.
11. “I give you advice: if you go to France, speak French with the French, it will be much easier to make friends, and they will admire you, and this, believe me, is not so easy to deserve!”
Berd, German professor.
12. “Note that in France coffee is sacred, they always drink coffee after lunch! And sometimes in the morning, after breakfast. We spent hours in cafes in France. And what’s more, all the people smoke!”
Li Shan, Chinese student.
13. “The French are formal in their greetings: you have to shake hands, kiss twice on the cheek to say hello and goodbye. They always want to know when we will see each other again. They always say, “We should have lunch together one of these days,” and then they won’t even call you…”
Charlotte, American, actress.
14. “France is very beautiful country, Paris is a magnificent city. The food is delicious, the bakery is excellent. The French live peacefully, I appreciate that. They have their shortcomings, of course, like everyone else. For example, they are a little chauvinistic.”
Mathilde, Belgian, sales representative.
15. “I cannot judge all French people equally. They are different, cute and not so cute. It's true that they grumble a little, they criticize everyone, but they have so much positive qualities! In France they love to make discoveries, invent, and ask questions.”
Phil, Canadian, artist.
16. “I don’t agree with the stereotype that the French don’t like to work. I know people who work hard. Of course, in government sometimes this is not the case, and this issue seems to be bothering our employees... But isn't the same thing happening all over the world?
Lavik, Norwegian architect.
17. “I was completely shocked by the relations between men and women in France. Before getting married, a couple may live together for several years and even have a child! Women are much freer than ours; they express what they think and do it without hesitation. One day, an acquaintance came to visit me in my room, and when he sat on my bed, it shocked me.”
Pak Sung Hi, Korean student.
18. “For an Italian, the most difficult thing in France is human relations, which are much colder than ours. People smile more in Italy and have more patience than in France. In Italy we can meet a crowd of friends and walk this way without specific purpose. And in France, people always have a goal: to go to the cinema, to a holiday, etc.”
Luigi, Italian, musician.
19. “If I compare with my country, or Germany, France is a less organized country. And there is “flexibility”, which practically does not exist in our country. Events in France may change in last minute: French people can cancel a lesson or meeting. I also think the French don't take things as seriously as the Austrians. They always leave a little distance, a little irony.”
Ecology of life. People: On the Internet you can find a million and more texts about “Russian” wives abroad - the readers and authors of these articles love to exaggerate all the subtleties and differences between “our” women and foreigners. But I have always been interested in the topic of men – “ours” and those with whom we go abroad.
Relationships in an international couple are very often like a litmus test: people from the same country could never make such interesting discoveries about each other as those two who were born and raised in completely different cultural and social environments.
On the Internet you can find a million and more texts about “Russian” wives abroad - the readers and authors of these articles love to exaggerate all the subtleties and differences between “our” women and foreigners. But I have always been interested in the topic of men – “ours” and those with whom we go abroad.
What exactly are they bribing us with? What do they have that the great guys from hometown And home country? After all, when it comes to Slavic women, it’s easy to immediately draw a picture in your head of how economical and caring we are, which is not surprising, since we were raised in a patriarchal society.
It is for these virtues that Europeans love us, living side by side with independent, emancipated women. But when you start talking about French men, nothing but clichés comes to mind: wine-savvy, romantic, wonderful lovers, flighty, fickle, stingy, arrogant. How much of this is true? And what are they like in their relationships with us - not French women at all?
I became interested just enough that I asked 50 women from Ukraine, Russia and Belarus who dated/were married to Frenchmen about it. The age range of respondents was from 22 to 57 years. Everyone is very different, which is immediately felt by the answers to the 10 questions I compiled. Today I am publishing the first 5.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS A WOMAN THAT IS IMMEDIATELY NOTICEABLE?
It was no coincidence that I asked this question first, because it brings out the most emotional moments that lie on the surface. And my expectations were justified: 90% of the answers boiled down to the fact that The French perceive a woman, first of all, as an equal partner in a relationship, and not as the mistress of the house. Specifically, the word “equality” was mentioned in every second answer. A woman is perceived as an individual, they respect her, strive to make her happy, take care of her, without praising her like a princess or worshiping her.
But in some answers there was also bitterness about this very issue: that there is no clearly defined gender attitude that we are used to at home, where women are given flowers on the eighth of March, let go ahead and at the same time every day they expect a hot dinner, a tidy house, ironed shirts And so on.
The French, as it turned out, do not have this consumer attitude towards their partner - she is not a laundress, not a cook, and raising children is also not part of some purely “female” responsibilities. The French are accustomed to dividing all of the above into two.
A double-edged sword and a certain everyday pun: in our homeland we don’t like that all household responsibilities are assigned to us by default, but when we marry a foreigner, we voluntarily take on something that no one forces us to do.
WHO PAYS THE BILL AT THE RESTAURANT?
I don’t know why everyone is so interested in this, but this is a very popular question when it comes to French boyfriends. In fact, from the very beginning of meeting my boyfriend, I have been constantly haunted by some legend about the stinginess of the French, which has not yet justified itself. After four years of relationship, I am inclined to think that the European habit of buying less is often mistaken for stinginess. So, about restaurants.
In addition, some girls quite directly expressed that they do not understand at all when something happens differently. At the same time, the French do not like it when a woman takes it for granted that he pays for everything - returning to issues of equality, this is more than logical.
All other answers to the question say “50/50”, “we pay in turns” or “the one who invites pays”. I specifically do not share the answers of those who are married or simply dating a Frenchman - in both cases the situation is approximately the same. I personally really liked the remark that some added to the answer: they say that the French are pleased if sometimes a woman pays the bill - they perceive this as a sign of attentiveness and love. And I fully support them in this.
DO THE FRENCH GIVE FLOWERS?
Another level of eternal disputes, and more often - simply complaints from our women that Europeans do not give them as gifts. There is a dual impression here: on the one hand, there is a culture of magnificent flower shops, of which there are a great many everywhere in France, the sale of fresh flowers in food markets, in supermarkets, and the obvious demand for the product itself.
On the other hand, there are a lot of stories about how the French don’t give flowers. Only six women out of fifty respondents said that their men give flowers often, without reason and without reminders. The rest of the answers boiled down to either the concrete “never” or “only if you hint.” And a separate category “we managed to get used to the bouquet on March 8th.”
The fact is that the French (both men and women) very often buy flowers for home just like that. Not as a gift, not for special occasion, but just to decorate the house. They are taken in armfuls at the market - along with fresh vegetables, meat and cheese. They don’t make events out of bouquets here, as we are used to.
That's why they don't give it any importance. And that’s why our women are so attracted to it. This is an addition to European equality, when you can quite safely buy flowers not even for yourself, but at home on an ordinary weekday - to please everyone who lives there. In our country, for now, the bouquet is assigned the role of a festive attribute and a sign of attention specifically to the woman.
HOW DEMANDING ARE THE FRENCH ABOUT APPEARANCE?
We all know that French women are often said to be not beautiful, but stylish and with charm. And about the Slavs - what are they? beautiful women in the world. And it’s not even the natural beauty itself that is amazing, but the amount of effort (money and time) we put into our appearance.
Which, again, is rooted in a patriarchal society, where everything revolves around a man - his choice, evaluation and approval. French women are much more freedom-loving and independent in this regard - their own interests they rate higher. What do French men value more in this state of affairs? Exterior or internal content?
Many women in their answers emphasized that the French are much less demanding in matters of beauty and grooming than their compatriots (already spoiled, it must be admitted). Of course, there are no fools - anyone is pleased when a woman next to her takes care of herself and knows how to highlight the best in her appearance, but this is perceived only as a pleasant addition to character and education.
But here the French have quite high standards: They love to talk about art, politics, literature, music - their companion should be able to carry on a conversation on any of these topics. Women's intelligence, erudition, and broad outlook delight them. But the makeup is too bright and unnecessarily revealing outfits rather, they repel - charisma and non-flashy sexuality attract them much more.
I especially liked the comment from one of the respondents: “Be better version yourself,” that’s what a Frenchman wants from a woman. At the same time, men who take care of themselves expect the same from their partner. Unfortunately, for us this trend works exactly the opposite: no matter how good our woman looks, this will not guarantee that our man next to her will strive to look up to par.
SLAVYANKI VS. FRENCH WOMEN – WHOSE BENEFIT IS THE COMPARISON?
No matter how much women flirt and dissemble, in an international couple, partners always draw parallels and compare (at least mentally) their halves: we involuntarily put the French in a row with our ex-boyfriends who remained in their homeland, and our French notice the difference between us and their former or hypothetical passions.
Personally, I was a little upset by the answers to this question. Not even the answers themselves, but the fact that our greatest advantage in the eyes of the French is thriftiness and the desire to please a man. They call French women cold, self-centered, too demanding, pretentious, too independent and emancipated (it’s interesting how quickly men got tired of emancipation if French women were only allowed to vote in 1944).
Slavic women look like angels against their background - gentle, attentive, caring, masterfully lead their everyday life, cook, dress up and try for a man, put on family values at the forefront and (to quote one of the respondents) “satisfied with little.”
I often notice that Slavic women seem to feel sorry for the “poor, unfortunate French” who are tired of all these independent feminists. And the survey confirmed this impression. While Europeans are fighting for equal rights, our women continue to cultivate the dominant role of men.
IN in a certain sense this slows down the development of civilization. And it is not surprising that a Frenchman, “tired of emancipation,” choosing between two women, will choose the one who is not only rich inner world, but also cooking skills, perfect manicure with hair and willingness to give in.
And everything would be fine, but this also has a small fly in the ointment for us: unlike French women who strive to emphasize individuality in appearance, Slavic women follow standards - high heels, long hair, red lipstick and so on. And this catches the eye of local men. That is, it turns out that we are somehow even too good for them.
While I was processing fifty answers to my questions, many vivid dialogues took place between me and my Frenchman, who also has something to compare with. It will be all the more interesting to publish the second part of this material, in which 50 women answered questions about their men’s attitude to sex on the first date, whether it’s true that the French are flighty and fickle, and something else. To be continued! published
For prevention and general development- if you are going to travel to France or meet the French, it’s nice to be a prepared person :) I am against labeling people based on any characteristics, but at the same time, there are small and large national characteristics among residents of each individual country. This is what makes us different, this is the thrill of learning something or someone new. At the same time - positive and negative qualities All people on this planet express themselves in the same way. Just if verbally, then on different languages. So, according to my personal observations, the French...
They love to eat outdoors.
The obvious change in scenery in Paris from gloomy to sunny spring made me remember this habit in the first place. All the parks, embankments, benches and squares where you can sit down somewhere become more and more lively every weekend. Last weekend on the Place des Vosges people even sat in the middle of the idle fountains, just to bask in the sun somewhere. Everyone has either a sandwich, or a panini, or a full-fledged lunch box in their hands.
Dress inappropriately for the weather.
And it appears to be airborne. Ballet flats in February, sandals in November, a thin raincoat and a tent scarf in December... And so on and so forth. Both adults and children - sometimes it’s cold to look at their bare necks, ankles and short sleeves. The most surprising thing is that often this is not a pose, but a completely conscious choice. What’s even more surprising is, oh, and here you are, at the end of February, somewhere along the Grands Boulevards in short trousers and sneakers, and for some reason you don’t get winded anywhere.
They talk a lot about politics.
And they have their own special opinion about everything. It’s not customary here to say: “Oh, I don’t understand politics” - they do, one is better than the other. Of course, sometimes (almost always) discussions about government boil down to how everyone is doing everything wrong and “this country is going straight to hell,” but all this is said with a very serious face.
Even more talk about food.
About food - while eating. Remember what, where and when , where, how and what was prepared, what they cook at home, where they buy it , which market is fresh, which cheese/butcher shop is better to shop at. This drives an unprepared person a little crazy at first. But then nothing - you get involved. If you don’t want to support these deep discussions, nod thoughtfully and smack your lips. This will be considered an expressed opinion - it has been verified more than once.
Polite hypocrites.
The good manners of the French are visible a kilometer away - here it is customary to say hello, apologize and wish Have a good day to everyone and always, under any circumstances. They will ask you for forgiveness for stepping on someone’s foot in the subway - automatically, because children literally absorb this habit with their mother’s milk. That's the way it is. But this barrel of honey has its own fly in the ointment - no matter how polite a person is when looking into your eyes, behind your back he can say the most unpleasant things. Colleagues and neighbors are the closest and most striking example of this.
Quite a lot of people judge others and consider themselves better than others.
Of course, you can come to terms with this if you understand that you want to live in this country - there are not many options other than accepting the locals with all their troubles. The fact remains that the French love to gossip and are very fond of judging other people (for their decisions, lifestyle and appearance). “Other people” can be both scandalous celebrities from TV screens and close relatives. In addition, the French as a nation often place themselves above others. It’s snobbery or arrogance – call it what you want. They are proud of their history and rich culture, and therefore they are terribly proud of their origin.
They wear shoes indoors.
Behind this comes a whole cart of similar everyday habits, unsettling people like me - who do not go further than the corridor in sneakers, and if they do, then only in sterile clean sneakers. In the same way, it’s difficult for me to afford something like this in someone else’s house, but the French don’t seem to care - they don’t seem to pay attention to the fact that guests in their houses are trampling around in shoes.
They eat on the subway.
They grab their sandwiches with their bare hands and chew with pleasure while other people's coats, backpacks and umbrellas hang over them. Many people manage to read a book and turn pages with one hand. Is this the cost of living in big city and the resulting habit of saving time when traveling, or simply absolute indifference, where and what is appropriate to do - I have no idea. One way or another, this habit is already a classic.
They don't bother about hygiene.
Which is logical if you add the two previous points together. Add here small children, who are allowed to touch everything and climb everywhere, and the same carefree parents who easily sit on the asphalt and often do not wash their hands before eating. I'm used to seeing things like this, but I'm unlikely to ever start doing the same.
Conservatives in everything.
It’s not for nothing that the Old World is called “old” - traditions are remembered and preserved here, because there really is something to preserve. This concerns national holidays(including religious ones, even despite the fact that France is a much more secular country), as well as small and large everyday traditions. Many of them (well, naturally) are related to food :) What is pleasantly impressive is that the French mentality masterfully combines old-fashioned and progressive views, depending on certain topics.
In general, the French are very cheerful and cheerful guys - they cannot be different, because they know a lot about pleasure and know how to enjoy life. Yes, they often , sometimes irritate with their melancholy, and sometimes it seems that they are spoiled and spoiled. But this is only at the beginning, when both the country and the people are still new to you. Over time, the habit of comparing fades into the background, and you focus more on what you can they have. Much more productive activity :)
Where France is a rather flighty coquette, Russia is a powerful but simple-minded gentleman who constantly has to prove his worth. Each stamp born over three centuries of relationships is accepted in the opposing country with a smile and irony. How not to smile when hearing for the hundredth time from a Frenchman sympathetic insinuations about the terrible Russian cold and bears on city streets.
Great Russians and France
Considering the people of Russia to be uneducated savages, the French were simply amazed by the hypnotizing charisma of the personality of the Russian Tsar Peter I. Noting his spontaneity and lack of refined manners, the memoirist Duke Saint-Simon wrote about him as a monarch “equal to the heroes of antiquity, who evokes such admiration in his time and will call in the coming centuries."
Next Russian empress Elizaveta Petrovna was friends with D'Alembert, Voltaire, Diderot and corresponded with them, in which Voltaire highly appreciated her intelligence. Under her, the Frenchization of the middle class began and high society. An entire generation spoke two languages, knowing French better than their native Russian. The culture of France is also firmly entrenched in the salons royal palaces and light.
At the very height of Russia's admiration for France, a war with it began. Napoleon considered Russia a wild "Asian" country. This opinion existed in many houses of high society in Paris. The defeat of Napoleonic army did not leave a negative imprint on the attitude of the French towards Russia - rather, on the contrary, there was some interpenetration of the two cultures and the myth of the savages of Russia was to some extent dispelled.
But we couldn’t become our own for them. And these days, the cultural and social equality of Russia with the rest of Europe is accepted with great reservations.
The tired image of Russia as a poorly educated country incapable of democratic development still continues to exist. However, after the fall" iron curtain"and the exit of Russian businessmen, the opinion has changed a little.
Reviews of French businessmen about Russian colleagues
The French partners’ impressions of their Russian colleagues emanate respectful condescension: “Russians are very conservative. When negotiating with them, you need to gradually and unobtrusively offer the Russian your terms, and in no case should you put pressure on him. Although the Russians will try by any means to force them to accept their option. They express trust and gratitude through tactile contacts.”
Russians love strong drinks, drink them while sitting and accompany them with long toasts. At the same time, you cannot refuse alcohol - for a Russian this is a mortal insult. During negotiations, one should not be greedy and show distrust of the authorities. Russians do not accept criticism, but they really love praise.
Due to the socialist past with blind obedience to leaders, the hierarchy in work among Russians is strictly observed and is important element conducting business negotiations.
You just have to admire a man, it doesn’t matter whether he’s an Eskimo or a Frenchman. Especially if you share a refrigerator with him and even sometimes (okay, every night) end up in the same bed. Because, you see, NOT admiring a man in this case is too late and puts extra stress on the nervous system.
Here is a discussion that does not pretend to be systematic or excessively serious about what awaits you if you start dating a Frenchman. Recorded from the stories of eyewitnesses, including myself.
He will have a compound name
In which, among other things, it will be impossible to pronounce half of the written letters. Your boyfriend's name will be Pierre-Yves. Or Jean-Marie. Or Jacques-Antoine. But even if it turns out that you find a Frenchman without a hyphen, he will have a couple more names in his passport, just in case. Which, if you think about it, is good as a remedy for routine. And a slap on the head if you suddenly call Lucien Regis. One of these names will definitely be Regis, rest assured.
He will cook great
Simmer the bechamel over low heat, wrap the boeuf Wellington in mushroom anointing puff pastry, With eyes closed distinguish shallots from just onions. Or it won't! My idealistic picture of the world (in which the main characters in porn get married at the end of the film) was shaken when I learned that not all French people are born with the gene of the famous chef Alain Ducasse. But one thing is certain: he will not be a fool when it comes to eating.
“The first thing that struck me about my French man was that he doesn’t care what’s in his stomach. French cheese, red wine, baguette – clichés have never been so close to reality. They say they seduce a man in bed and keep him in the kitchen. I think it's about the French. And my boyfriend will always prefer naturalness to luxury. He is confident that you should live your life the way you want, and not with an eye on other people’s opinions.”
He will talk a lot about food
On my first visit to France with my samovar, when I found myself in protected areas where the French are found not by a timid expat diaspora, but by endemic populations, I was amazed at how much my boyfriend’s friends talked about food. What they ate yesterday and yesterday, what God sent them for lunch today and what they plan to eat tomorrow. Oh, how the eyes of grown men light up when discussing the caramel crust on creme brulee! How they savor the recipe for their own homemade steak tartare! How they carefully describe a visit to a restaurant (in France they often say not “an excellent restaurant”, but “an excellent table”, “the best table in the city” - exalting the main one for French image life interior item).
So, if you want to be comfortable with a Frenchman, I advise you to be more passionate about food than the underground millionaire Koreiko. So, a Frenchman will never eat dull food just to support the “eat to live” principle, and will want you to share his love for tasty, cleverly prepared food. It's difficult, but I believe in you. You can handle it.
“In the 6th year of marriage, we flew to Astana for a wedding for two days, stayed in a “rented” apartment with relatives. The morning after the wedding, he woke up earlier, went to the nearest store, bought bags of ice and coffee, froze ice for me... He knows that nothing makes me as happy in the morning as iced coffee. At home, you always have a freezer full of ice, but when you travel..."
Friends will be no less important to him than you
There are also hermits among the French. But for the most part, they really love to communicate.
- Apero? – the French write to their friends in WhatsApp chat.
- Apero! - the friends answer.
“Apéro” is translated from French as “aperitif” or “let’s go have a glass of red in a cafe and discuss the problem.” The French get sick every day. They are able to meet with friends and acquaintances every day and find new topics for discussion, even if they talked for three hours the day before. ( Just like Yulka and I on the phone). The French reach out to each other both to share joy and when they are in trouble. They go to visit - both for a reason, for a rich feast, and without - to drink coffee, chat for 15 minutes, or even carry out this very “apero”. Only after immersing myself in the French environment did I realize that rumors about the unrivaled hospitality of the Kazakhs were somewhat exaggerated.
“The way to the heart of a Frenchman is not through the stomach - they themselves will cook everything perfectly and with great pleasure. Everything is very simple and even fun - lively Breton songs, a fanatical passion for football and rugby at the same time. And you also need to be a very hospitable hostess. Even when you want send the guests away!"
He will never be happy with the French President
Especially if it's Francois Hollande. 50 percent of conversations over apero are devoted to culinary theme. 15 percent are women. 35 – discussion of political news and all kinds of censure of the current French government. However, the old presidents will get it too, if you dare to ask whether poor France ever had a tolerable leader. The only politician who is usually left alone is Charlemagne.
It won't be as romantic as you imagined.
The chances are high that your chosen one will often use obscene expressions(especially the “putane” that doesn’t need translation) and make salty jokes. Despite the subtle sense of humor of the characters of Jean Dujardin and Pierre Richard, the French on this side of the screen love jokes below the belt. In this regard, my advice to you is: act wisely, do not learn French. Then at any moment, no matter what phallocentric joke the French around you are telling, you can imagine that you are in a cafe in Montmartre - among bohemians discussing the technique of pointillism. Do you know why?
Any phrase (even frankly vulgar) in his mouth will seem beautiful
This is such a fantastic language. The “baby” addressed to you, which makes your cheekbones cramp in Russian, will sound like bebe coeur or “mon petit bebe.” What can I say, even the words “deer” or “flea”, which in France for some reason are used to call beloved women, sound like gentle “bichette” and “petite puce”.
Victoria
"You have to get used to the fact that every second joke will be related to sex or an intimate part of the body (more the back). Learning independence (social, not financial) is the key to long-term relationships. Accustoming your stomach to digest everything that you didn’t imagine was edible before (frog legs , snails, stingrays, raw meat). Get used to the fact that, most likely, your children will grow up on children's comics, teeming with smoking half-naked ladies and very excited monsieurs in every sense. Remember that cheese is a dessert. And in no case, not Under no circumstances should you put anything other than foie gras into a foie gras sandwich."
"You will talk and debate with him every evening and never get bored. Dating a Frenchman means being prepared for independent life and independent decision making. You will receive support from your loved one within reasonable limits, but forget about hyperprotection, help and participation in your affairs, which are typical for Kazakh men."
