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If you look closely, you will notice that happy people are similar to each other, as are unhappy people. And this is largely due to similar mental attitudes and habits.
Psychologists advise observing a person whose personality and life you like, and “assigning to yourself” some of the features of his behavior. There's nothing wrong with that and it's psychological game has nothing to do with imitation or losing oneself. We are all a bit of a “mirror”, and it is better to reflect the good, which then becomes a harmonious part of our personality.
We are in website collected habits that can make us unhappy, to study them, and then throw them out of life forever.
- Living with an eye on others. Focusing on what others think and the desire to please everyone is a direct path to neurosis. Dependence can be not only on the opinions of strangers, but also on the assessment and views of relatives, friends, and loved ones. Know how to say “no” to unpleasant circumstances and inconvenient requests. This is your life.
- Striving to meet standards. You are unique, he is unique, everyone is unique! For mental health and moving forward, you should only compare yourself to your past self. Have you become better, more successful and wiser? So everything is going according to plan.
- Fear of the future. Reluctance to move forward can be caused by obsessive thoughts that everything will end badly, “the years are no longer the same,” “where I was born and came in handy,” and similar attitudes. Imagine the worst that could happen if you decide to take this or that action. What will you do in this case? Calculate the steps you will take in the worst-case scenario, and fear will subside.
- Criticism of others and the desire to change them. Criticism and belittling of other people often stem from envy. Psychotherapists say that it is difficult for insecure people to compliment others - they feel that it belittles them. As for “remaking” others, then happy man He only decides for himself whether he accepts other people’s nuances of behavior or distances himself.
- Distrust of people."Do not trust, do not fear, do not ask!" - this and other similar statuses can often be seen on social networks on the pages of strong and independent women. Constantly expecting tricks from people and the belief that it is a shame to voice your requests has never made anyone happier.
- Confidence in the injustice of life.“Even those who don’t deserve it live well. “Everyone but me” is a thought that can truly poison life. There is no money because there are no connections and luck, or because everything comes from childhood, and my grandmother once inspired me that money is evil. An amazing effect in getting rid of such an attitude can be achieved by stopping comparing yourself with others (at least for a while) and focusing on your own tasks, perceiving yourself “here and now.”
- Habit of complaining and gossiping. The need to whine and complain turns life into a vicious circle. Psychologists recommend a simple exercise - specifically recording all the good things that happen around you. This focus on the positive aspects of life changes your thinking - try it!
- The need to control everything. The habit of constantly keeping your finger on the pulse greatly poisons life. Such a desire often indicates a low ability to accept the behavior of other people. Maybe lovers of total control will be sad to read this, but without your participation, life around you will definitely not fall apart. Take a break and you will see it with your own eyes.
- Procrastination and the desire to put off until later. The value of time is one of the “secret” knowledge of successful and happy people. Endless hanging on social networks, procrastination, addictive TV series - all this suggests that current affairs do not bring any joy, which means that something needs to be changed in life.
- Too much serious attitude to yourself.“A serious face is not a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this expression. Smile, gentlemen, smile!” These words, written by Grigory Gorin, perfectly illustrate the approach to life of a happy person.
People admire success stories and love to read biographies of people who have radically changed their lives. But few people know that all global changes begin with small steps. Small but regular steps towards change can make you the main character of a success story. Let's look at 10 habits that can change your life forever. better side.
1. The habit of getting enough sleep.
Many people live in self-deception. They think they become more efficient by staying up late at work, drinking gallons of coffee, and forcing themselves to focus. But, instead of increased efficiency, a person develops irritability, health problems and chronic fatigue. If you make regular and adequate sleep your habit, you can increase your personal effectiveness and normalize mental condition and become healthier and more beautiful. You can start getting enough sleep today, and changes from this habit will become noticeable within a few days.
2. The habit of smiling.
You may think that something as small as a smile cannot bring change in your life. But if you try to develop the habit of smiling, you will notice changes very soon. Firstly, you will become less sensitive to stress, your relationships with people will improve, you will feel more attractive and forget about your bad mood.
3. The habit of planning.
The best way to become successful in life is to plan for it. Try to develop the habit of making plans for the year, for every day and for your whole life. Thanks to this habit, you will move consistently and quickly towards your goals, and order will appear in your life.
4. The habit of rest.
Regular rest is the key to good performance in any activity. Develop the habit of finding time to relax every day, and be sure to give yourself a real weekend after a fruitful work week. You will see your life change. A rested person is filled with energy, and he needs much less time to solve assigned tasks. Rested people feel stronger and more confident, and thanks to this they can easily overcome obstacles.
5. The habit of dreaming.
A person without a dream does not have many chances for positive changes in life. The habit of dreaming gives a person the opportunity to generate energy to make dreams come true. In addition, dreams reveal the potential of our brain. A person who is able to let his imagination fly free can do much more than someone who is skeptical about life and considers the habit of dreaming stupid.
6. The habit of getting up early.
Whether you're a morning person or a night owl, getting up early can be a reality that changes your quality of life for the better. Correct mode sleep and wakefulness will help make early rises painless - you just need to get used to it. Those people who decided to change their habits and learned to get up early note that the most productive hours work and training occur early in the morning.
7. The habit of not making excuses.
Not in front of anyone. If a person makes excuses, he feels guilty. This happens automatically. Therefore, it is worth developing the habit of not making excuses and not defending your rightness to anyone. Disputes do not give rise to truth - they give rise to painful experiences, complex emotions and strife in relationships between people. The habit of not making excuses to anyone will make you calmer and put your relationships with other people on a healthy course.
8. The habit of developing.
Every person has the opportunity to become better every day. The problem is that only a few people use it. Try to develop the habit of improving your best every day. best qualities, develop professional skills, gain new knowledge. Even a small step forward, taken every day, will make a big difference in the long run.
9. The habit of getting rid of unnecessary things.
This is the principle hot air balloon- the more weight and rubbish goes overboard, the higher it can fly. The secret is that we need to regularly get rid of everything unnecessary that prevents us from living in harmony and moving towards our own goals. These are not only things, but also unnecessary activities, relationships that exhaust, life principles that do more harm than good. Deal with everything unnecessary in your life constantly - develop the habit of not accumulating “junk”, and you will see significant changes in your life.
10. The habit of giving love.
If you give someone some of your money, you will have less. If you give someone your love, you will have even more of it. Life in love is the only way to harmony, peace with yourself and the world around you. Develop the habit of giving love without expecting anything in return. And you will never be alone. The habit of giving without demanding anything in return enriches, fills with meaning and joy.
What makes us happy? The answer is simple - these are our habits, which determine how happy we are. Psychologists have identified ten useful habits that the “lucky” people have.
1. The fact remains that happy people are absolutely not interested in what others might think about them. Agree, we are used to worrying about what opinion people have about us. But do not forget that there are as many opinions as there are people in the world. It’s not even worth imagining what will happen if we decide to please everyone. Coco Chanel also exclaimed: “I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t think about you at all.” Everyone likes someone who is independent and self-confident, who has a strong life position People. Be just such a person, and don’t look at the opinions and condemnations of people around you.
2. You need to be able to thank from the heart. The fact is that gratitude can work real miracles. When we give thanks, we focus our attention not on what we do not yet have, but on what we already have. As they say, like can attract like. Therefore, try to respond with gratitude to everything, and before you go to bed, remember at least 5 reasons to be grateful for your life.
3. Failed love? Betrayal of friends? Missed opportunity? Happy people don't torture yourself with regrets. We are all prone to regret, but don't forget that we spend a lot of our lives doing this. What happened cannot be corrected, but drawing the right conclusions will never be superfluous.
Falling in love, taking care of yourself - these are the things that can make you more attractive in the eyes of others. But there are many other ways that can help you present yourself in a completely different light, both externally and from the point of view of the inner world.
Of course, this approach may seem a little selfish, but it is vital not only for your health, but also for your well-being and ability to be sincere. Your self-confidence is very attractive to others, so it is important to develop this quality in yourself. In this article we will look at 10 daily habits that will make you more attractive.
10 habits that will make you more attractive
When we talk about attractiveness, we usually think about things that influence our appearance. However, this is not only due to appearance. Being attractive can be done emotionally, spiritually and mentally. And this is also important in order to find the right partner.
1. Connect with people on a deeper level
We attract people like ourselves exactly as they pay attention to attractive features from their point of view. It’s easy to be likable: it’s enough to be able to deeply perceive what he says and show sincere interest.
Try asking your interlocutor a series of questions that could help you better understand him, characterize his behavior and method of action. What are his hobbies? What does he do at home when he's alone? What is he afraid of and what does he dream about?
2. Make friendship a priority.
The right friends will not allow the relationship to break down. By nurturing your friendship with someone, you practice the necessary skills to maintain a happy romantic relationship.
Friends make you smile, and what could be brighter than this attractive feature?
3. Live here and now
Fun fact: during speed dating strangers A study was conducted that showed that women found men more pleasant who showed high level awareness. It seems that this is just one of many ways to increase your attractiveness to others, in particular to the opposite sex. For example, in the same study, men did not pay attention to a similar trait at all.
Self-mindfulness is peaceful self-awareness. This is the understanding that everything is happening exactly as you wanted. Mindfulness is attractive because we shift our focus away from worry or depression, rather than worrying about it. Reasonable people, as a rule, are more balanced emotionally.
4. Move your body
It's obvious that physical exercise keep the body in shape and actually saturate it with health, which is a significant indicator of attractiveness. This is especially true for men and women who are looking for healthy partners with whom they hope to raise a suitable family.
When we think about someone we are interested in, we always pay attention to his body, which in our thoughts is always graceful in the slightest movements. Balance and stretching, as well as the right exercises, will help you present yourself as a more attractive partner.
5. Eat healthy
Proper nutrition is an excellent foundation for maintaining and improving your health. internal organs and skin. Glowing skin is always attractive and it proves that beauty can come from within. Just think for a moment, would your potential partner pay attention to you if you eat fatty junk food from fast food? And how will the situation change if you give preference to delicious and healthy dishes?
6. Gain a sense of dignity
Be confident in your worth and that you are just as important to someone or something because of your positive qualities: character, intelligence or good deeds. We said earlier that self-confidence is sexy, and self-love (in a healthy amount) is The best way develop that same confidence.
Try to project your importance with your head held high. Catch the glances of others and tell yourself: “I will be a great partner for a relationship.” Be careful! Don't cross the line into being arrogant.
7. Learn to sleep properly
Sleep ensures that your body can replenish its wasted resources. Get into the habit of good and proper rest to look good: your skin will look healthier and your eyes will glow with life.
Well-rested people are more resilient emotionally: they cope better with stress and are less likely to succumb to aggression. Sleeping well is a good and healthy habit that can make you more attractive to your potential partner.
8. Give yourself a break
Taking care of yourself has another point besides healthy sleep. You need to be able to find some time to get rid of stress during the day. Again, visualize your ideal partner as you relax. Another relaxation option is a specific hobby that will help you relax your soul and body. You can do yoga or meditation.
9. Forgive and learn from mistakes
Self-improvement is constant learning. A study was conducted in which men and women were asked about their understanding of ideal traits in a potential partner. As it turned out, psychological characteristics just as important as sexual attraction. Moreover, both sexes rate intelligence and kindness very highly.
Intelligence doesn't mean you have a science degree. You can demonstrate it to a potential partner by learning from your own mistakes and overcoming your shortcomings and problems that everyone has from time to time. You can be complacent by forgiving yourself for mistakes, but then make sure you don't repeat them in the future.
10. Enjoy simple things
In any situation, you have a choice: to be happy or angry, sad, afraid. Choose joy no matter the situation. This approach can lead to you finding the partner of your dreams, meeting him with a wide smile and inner peace.
And despite all of the above, remember that you will be loved no matter who you are, but who you really are! This list is only intended to help you get closer to your ideal.
There are not so many “genetic” skinny people among us. In order to stay in shape, many women change their habits (and not just in food). We asked Mikhail Gavrilov, psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences, author of a patented method for correcting eating behavior and weight loss, member of the Institute of Functional Medicine (IFM, USA) to tell us more about what feats the army of slender healthy lifestyle performs every day. .
Eat according to hunger, not appetite
Sometimes we put an equal sign between these sensations, which is fundamentally wrong! Hunger is a signal that it’s time for you to eat. You can understand this by your sensations: for example, sucking in the pit of your stomach, rumbling in your stomach. The onset of hunger largely depends on when you are last time ate - on average it occurs 4 hours after the last meal (provided it is complete). Appetite is associated with the desire to enjoy food.
If you're not used to paying attention to your body's signals, distinguishing hunger from appetite will be difficult!
Try to imagine whether at this particular moment a plate of borscht or a piece of black bread would please you? If yes, then it’s definitely time to eat. If you dream of a donut, sausage or chips, it is quite obvious that this is an appetite, because you want a very specific tasty food. You will often be led by appetite, problems with overweight won't keep you waiting long.
Quench your thirst
Only the lazy did not write about the importance of drinking regime for a good figure, so the daily 1.5 liters of water turned into a widespread myth. But, alas, without enough fluid it is truly impossible to maintain weight. All reactions of our body take place in solutions, so we need water every day and in certain quantities, or rather, in the ratio of 30 ml per 1 kg of weight. You need to drink it in small portions throughout the day, and not all at once in the morning (and even more so in the evening).
Advice: measure out the amount of water you need in advance and place the container nearby, for example, next to your workplace. Drink half a glass of liquid every hour. If you live on the run, install any application on your phone that will remind you that it’s time to drink.
Focus on food
Even if you don’t have a minute of free time, put all your gadgets aside and take ten minutes for a snack and half an hour for a full meal. While watching TV and working at the computer, you don't concentrate on what you eat. As a result, the signal of satiety arrives to the brain late, and you can eat much more, significantly exceeding the calorie content of the daily diet.
They eat what tastes good
Among the healthy foods, there is enough that you can really like. Don’t force yourself to stuff yourself with the notorious boiled food chicken breast, if you don't like it at all. At a minimum, it can be baked without oil, or at a maximum, replaced with other lean meat (turkey, rabbit). Among the cereals, vegetables and fruits you can also find those that you will eat not because you need to, but because they are tasty.
Don't give up your favorite treats! You may experience a neurotic need for them or a breakdown when eaten great amount prohibited products.
You can afford to eat something that is not very healthy, but something that you really love, regularly in small portions - their calorie content should be about 100-150 kcal. Allow yourself such indulgence only when you are full and be sure to choose only the highest quality delicacies made from natural ingredients, without trans fats, preservatives and dyes.
Weigh yourself regularly
This habit is especially important for those who have put a lot of work into their slimness. You need to control your weight regularly. Weigh yourself every 1-2 weeks in the morning on an empty stomach. Libra will tell you everything honestly: if the problem is 3-5 extra pounds and you already have the skills to lose weight, you can cope with them in a month, simply by adjusting your diet and physical activity. Dealing with a weight gain of 10 or even 15 kilos will be much more difficult.
Periodically count calories
Contrary to popular belief, only initial stages Calculating your caloric intake takes some time. However, within a month, those who do this develop the skill of calculation energy value your diet by eye.
In order not to lose it, periodically, at least once a year, you need to calculate the calorie content of your dishes more carefully during the week!
This is especially important for those who for some reason have changed their diet or added new foods or dishes to their diet. Today, calorie counting is made easier by various applications and mobile calorie tables.
Have a lot of hobbies
Slim people are extremely active and not just physically. They, as a rule, take care of their appearance, constantly learn something, and some are also creative. In general, their leisure time is extremely varied, and they simply have no time to think about food. If we talk about hobbies in the language of psychology, then each of us has a so-called circle of pleasures: pleasures for the body (any skin care, massage, saunas, pleasant tactile sensations, physical activity), soul (self-development, visiting exhibitions, theaters, reading books, etc.) and applied (any types of creativity). If any sector in your life falls out, it is invariably replaced by the simplest and most easily accessible pleasure - food. Ideally, you need to choose what you especially like from each direction, then the appetite associated with boredom will not affect you.
Give up refined sugar
There are no mandatory standards for the consumption of sugar (sucrose) - the product appeared in our diet only about a century ago, and it does not belong to the category of healthy ones. It is better to get the required amount of simple carbohydrates from natural products, such as fruits and/or vegetables. Want to sweeten your life? Then get ready to gain weight quickly. Glucose molecules are the final product; the body does not need to spend additional energy to break it down. Therefore, it is very easy to take them and put them aside for future use, that is, in fat.
Take vitamins and supplements
Modern products contain significantly fewer vitamins and microelements than before. Due to a deficiency of micronutrients, you can encounter a failure of metabolic processes, uncontrolled overeating (the body will try to make up for their lack with food), and a violation of natural detoxification processes, which is especially important for residents big cities. The vitamin and mineral complex must be selected individually, based on your needs, together with your doctor.
Get plenty of sleep
We don’t eat at night, so we get glucose to support brain function from fat, which we store during the day. What happens to your body if you don't get enough sleep for some reason? Poor quality sleep disrupts circadian rhythms, disrupting the natural rhythm of hormone production and the breakdown of fat at night.
At night, the body burns about 30 grams of fat. If you don’t get enough sleep or sleep restlessly, then, for example, only 20 grams are processed, and the rest are sent to reserve ─ for the hips, waist and butt.
With regular lack of sleep, even if you eat right and take time physical activity, you will still gain weight - albeit slowly, but surely.
Mikhail Gavrilov is a psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences, author of a patented method for correcting eating behavior and weight loss, member of the Institute of Functional Medicine (IFM, USA).
Photo: Getty Images, press service archives
