Comic funny predictions for the new year. Funny predictions and fortune telling for the new year

We have all heard about predictions. It is known that such work is carried out by people who are, to one degree or another, connected with various forces that are still incomprehensible and unknown to man. Predictions were in demand always and everywhere, in all countries and in the most different eras. Of course, in modern world predictions play a huge role, since there are few people who do not want to look into the future. Even the most ardent skeptics sometimes secretly want to know what awaits them next in life. However, predictions are now acquiring not only a strict character, but also their humorous form. And therefore, more and more often you can find comic predictions.

Comic predictions - what are they?

How do cheerful predictions differ from their more strict form? Initially, it is important to note that such predictions can be voiced for different purposes. Many people get tired of reading boring and strict predictions for the day, month, year. I want to defuse the situation, read something funny, but instructive. And therefore, ordinary predictions sometimes turn into a comic form. It can be just humor, a cartoon, and sometimes there is real black humor. Reading funny predictions You can have a good laugh and take note of a few warnings that will help you avoid various problems in the near future. Moreover, when reading comic predictions The harsh reality is easier to perceive, and it becomes easier to look at life. Whether to believe such predictions is, of course, up to each person. But it would be useful to take warnings into account.

Where are funny predictions used?

However, comic predictions do not always have a strict basis. They can also be used simply to lift your spirits. A person who takes them into service is capable of as soon as possible become the life of the party and be known as an enviable jokester. You can use them in the office at work, at a party with friends, in general, anywhere, the main thing is that they are appropriate. Naturally, such a prediction does not need to be taken on faith; it is intended only for entertainment. However, there are also frequent cases when even funny predictions, invented for laughter, came true. So even with them you should be careful. Also cool and funny predictions often used at holidays and celebrations. These could be birthdays, anniversaries, corporate and home holidays.

At what events are comic predictions most often used?

The first events where fun but instructive predictions originated were weddings. It's rare to see a wedding where guests don't dress up as gypsies on the second day. And what is a gypsy without predictions? In order to raise the festive spirit among those present and simply amuse passers-by, the gypsy in a comic form pronounces predictions to the bride and groom, and then to everyone present. Afterwards, funny predictions began to be used on other holidays. The hero of the day is always wished for long years life, health, happiness. Everyone knows this and is accustomed to it. But a humorous prediction, uttered at the height of the holiday, in which humor is mixed with wishes for happiness and longevity, can ignite it with new strength, make the guests laugh and please the hero of the day. Often funny predictions are used at children's parties. Of course, their shape should correspond to the children's theme.

Cool predictions form

Comic predictions are used in various forms. If they are pronounced during a feast or wedding, then it is more interesting to use a poetic form. Thus, at the same time, a prediction can become an excellent toast. Also, a fun prediction often becomes part of a game or entertainment. There are many table games in which you can playfully guess who the person was in past life, of course, with the same comic result. If cool predictions are carried out at children's parties, then this usually creates a feeling of mystery. You can even hold a costume masquerade for a similar purpose. Children interested in a riddle always accept jokes with pleasure.

In general, comic predictions can be used anytime, anywhere. The main thing is that it is appropriate, otherwise the joke simply won’t work.

Comic predictions in verse in one line

1. The day was bright and bright, like a sweet gift.
2. A trip to the sea awaits you soon.
3. Let a tear of joy shed soon old friend will be back!
4. Down with both anger and revenge, you will receive good news.
5. Wait for the sunset, wait for the dawn, wait for a sweet greeting.
6. Every day and every hour someone thinks about you.
7. Look ahead more cheerfully, wealth awaits you there.
8. Wait a little, the road is waiting for you.
9. Gingerbread and sweets, there will be a lot of joy.
10. Holidays and fun await you at the end of the week.
11. Suddenly you have a new friend.
12. Wait without crying, luck will come to you.
13. The sun is back and happiness is back - you will meet new love.
14. Expect success at work by next Saturday.
15. You will always have delicious food in your house.
16. Try to vacation in the Bahamas six times a year and then you will certainly, certainly, probably be lucky.
17. If you lie down naked on ice for a long time in winter, no harmful microbe will crawl into you.
18. Someone will be lucky again in the coming year, maybe you or a neighbor - you must always be prepared.
19. Changes await you at the beginning of January, prepare for them gradually - don’t waste your time.
20. Try to run carefully at night in icy conditions, and then you will quite possibly celebrate the New Year.

Funny predictions

1. When giving your beloved a bouquet of daisies, count all the petals. Must be: loves!
2. When expecting a bad event, do not twist the button: it will definitely come off.
3. You are lucky! Therefore, be more modest and do not grab more lucky tickets.
4. When crossing the road, look around - there is a chance of meeting your destiny.
5. Approach your boss with the right foot - and a promotion awaits you.
6. Always smile! And no one will call you a gloomy person. Keep quiet! And no one will call you a bore.
7. Your life is an endless road, so choose a reliable means of transportation along it - a car.
8. Today is the best day for you! As the others!
9. Buy a book that you don't like at all - and you will find the answers to all your questions.
10. During the first week after the New Year, a pleasant surprise awaits you.
11. When leaving the entrance of your house, turn your head to the right. The brand of the car standing there will soon appear in yours too.
12. If your neighbors knock on the battery today, then a fun and unforgettable New Year awaits you.
13. In the New Year you will win a million dollars, but then you will give it all to charity.
14. In the New Year you can get rid of your bad habit, but you will buy a couple more new ones.
15. In the New Year you will be given the most desired gift - goldfish. True, it will be stuffed with rice and herbs.
16. In the New Year, you will learn and discover a lot of new and useful things, but now please open a bottle of champagne.
17. In the New Year, you will have the pleasure of spending a lot of money, as well as the pleasure of earning it.
18. In the New Year, you will get yourself a new pet, and give the old one to a nursing home.
19. If on June 1 you wear your clothes inside out, then many people of the opposite sex will pay attention to you. Maybe you will find love!
20. If you come across a foreign body in bread, know that this is good luck!

Astrological comic predictions

1. The stars are favorable to you. However, you should not catch them in a bowl of salad, otherwise the powerful influence of Mars may contribute to prophetic dreams under the table.
2. Venus in the second house foretells a hearty dinner with excesses and moderate physical activity on the dance floor.
3. Ritual dancing on the table is contraindicated for your zodiac sign, otherwise an unpleasant meeting in a government house is possible.
4. People of your sign are smiling, cheerful, talkative, funny... hey, dear, aren't you drinking too much champagne?
5. Abuse of shouts of “Happy New Year!” is fraught with throat diseases; "Happy New Year!" should be pronounced with just your lips, rolling your eyes meditatively.
6. The stars are not located in the best possible way: The most susceptible to rhythmic twitching will be the knee, hand, elbow and hip joints.
7. Your patron planet Mercury portends you unexpected turn events after your toast to love.
9. WITH today you are under the auspices of the planet Venus, which will present you with new unexpected love.
10. This night the stars are positioned in the sky so that everything you have dreamed of getting for so long is shining for you.

New Year Wishes

1. Good luck, happiness, peace to you! You will have your own apartment!
2. I wish you to save the style! You will have a car!
3. Luck will not leave you! There will be a new dacha for you!
4. A toast to your health! There will be career growth for you!
5. I wish you good luck! A new addition to your family is waiting for you!
6. Surround you with comfort! And your income will increase!
7. Let success follow! You are the best to study!
8. There are many different impressions! On wonderful journeys!
9. Don't let worry bother you! A new job is waiting for you!
10. I wish you not to be bored in vain, There will be new friends!

• If you work hard and hard in the new year, you will receive a reward in the form of a bonus.
• If you get up early in the new year, you will never be late for work.
• You can’t work like a horse in the year of the pig - it will set you back whole year back. If you spend a long time choosing a TV channel to watch on New Year’s Eve, you’ll wake up on January 1st with the remote control in your hands.
• New Year of the Pig is good for those who like to sleep. Count the stars and sleep like a baby.
• On the morning of January 1, leave the entrance and look to the left - you will see a bright and brilliant future.
• How many peas you eat from Olivier - so many wishes will come true in the new year.
• Champagne finished on the morning of January 1 will remind you of the past year.
• A hat lost on January 1 means buying a new one.
• Gifted to my wife on New Year frying pan - to the bump on the forehead. And a fur coat means love and mutual understanding.
• A passion for cakes and chocolates in the new year means updating your wardrobe.
• In the new year you will be promoted at work - your office will move to the floor above.
• In the new year you will find many new, exciting... household chores.
• Gifting my wife for the New Year jewelry, you provide yourself with a well-fed life for the whole year.
• After such a delicious New Year's treat, you will be fighting off guests all year.
• If you are a big boss in the new year, you will gain 50 kg.
• In the new year, your pragmatic interest will develop into a romantic passion.
• In the new year you will meet great love. Very big. So 120 kilograms, no less.
• This coming year, avoid the cold from your significant other. Otherwise you will be sick all year.
• Taking off career ladder this year, watch your step so that there are no dizzying consequences.
• Keep it clean. Wash your hands before eating. If your hands are dirty, you will get contagious diseases.
• In the morning, after New Year's feast. Beware of a heavy blow. Stepping on the scale.
• In the new year, move forward boldly - and wealth awaits you.
• A visit to the fitness club and swimming pool in the first quarter of the coming year will lead to envious glances from your friends in the next two quarters.
• For those who are passionate about fishing, fishing happiness will come in the new year. Will open next to the house
• Fish and seafood store. There will always be a catch to report to your wife.
• In the new year you will have everything you want. And nothing will happen to you for this. New ones are waiting for you, exciting travels... to the dacha. Don't be upset - this is also a change of scenery.
• This year a strong explosion is expected - all your envious people will burst.
• In the coming year, all the doors of supermarkets and boutiques will open for you. And my husband’s fat wallet will lose a lot of weight.
• This year you will find a treasure... You will discover your husband's stash, which he saved all last year.
• In the new year you will learn a lot of new and useful things. They will give you an encyclopedia.
• In the new year you will be attacked. Luck and success will attack you and you will not be able to fight them off.
• Beware. Very soon. Very soon. Great... love awaits you.
• Yours creative success as a makeup artist own person, will be noticed by many men this year.
• Your charm and beauty are preparing a happy meeting for you in the new year

New year's night– this is the time when work colleagues get together, best friends, relatives, loved ones. It is impossible to imagine the New Year without fun, congratulations and, of course, gifts. Many people expect something special from him. Comic predictions for the New Year 2019 can be a real surprise for those who decide to celebrate this event in your circle.

• for family;
• for work colleagues;
• for children;
• for your closest friends.

In fact, such forecasts exist great amount. They can be with jokes, in prose, in poetry, short quatrains, according to the signs of the Zodiac, etc. They can be presented after competitions as a gift, after dance competitions in the form of surprises, said during a toast, etc. Short funny predictions for all guests can make New Year's Eve unforgettable.

New Year is the best time to lift the veil of mystery and find out. New Year's Eve is a time of miracles and therefore each of us is happy to know what will happen very soon.

When preparing for the New Year's Eve, you need to prepare predictions in advance for all participants in the New Year's Eve. They can be presented in a variety of forms. For example, in the form beautiful cards, which must be pulled from a colorful bag, a mysterious chest or a hat. Prophecies can be glued with tape with reverse side New Year's toys so that they are not visible. At the right moment, you can invite guests to choose their favorite toy and read the predictions out loud. You can put a fateful forecast in cookies or candies that the hostess is preparing for New Year's Eve.

It’s better to have a little more options than guests. After all, for the one who ends up last in choosing predictions, it is very important to have a choice.

And yet, we must take into account that all prophecies are positive character, did not offend those present and did not touch them to the quick. In this regard, it is better to choose funny predictions with jokes. Each of us hopes only for the best in the coming year. Therefore, predictions should be kind and optimistic. Let us give examples of forecasts for various situations that are possible with .

Predictions for colleagues

Forget that the holiday is coming
You need to move forward in your career,
While colleagues are simply drinking heavily,
Hint your boss about career growth!

The coming year is prophesied for you
Fame, money and success!
A sea of ​​crazy emotions
And recognition from everyone!

Today you are among friends,
Shout again: “pour, pour”
So that tomorrow you won’t be ashamed,
Today you need to be respectable!

Funny predictions
For all honest company,
But personally, personally for you
And at all a year will pass Just kidding!

In the works next year
It will bring you success!
And a lot of money to boot,
To buy you a dacha in the Moscow region!

Forecasts in verse

You will have a lot of money
You will have a successful journey!
There won't be any worries
But the main thing is to start working!

The stars are prophesying for you today
Be kinder to your friends!
Otherwise they are all together
They will put you in your place!

All wishes at this hour
Today is just for you.
Sleep more, relax,
Don't waste your bottle!

This is a prediction
Talks about your upbringing!
Why laugh at others?
Try to figure it out for yourself!

It will be quiet in your personal life
If you make me angry!
And if you are obedient,
Everyone will fall in love with you!

Short prophecies according to the signs of the Zodiac

Short funny predictions

• I wish you not to be bored in vain. There will be new friends.
• Don't let worry bother you. A new job is waiting for you.
• There are many different impressions. On wonderful journeys.
• May success follow. You are the best to study.
• Surrounded you for comfort. And incomes will increase.
• I wish you luck. A new addition to your family is waiting for you.
• A toast to your health. There will be career growth for you.
• Luck will not leave you. There will be a new dacha for you.
• I want to keep the style. You will have a car.
• Good luck, happiness, peace to you. You will have your own apartment.

Wishes for family and relatives

You have a lot of friends and acquaintances, and everyone will come to visit you soon.

Very soon from friends
Wait for good news!

You will soon be very lucky,
Fate will bring a surprise!

So that money flows like a river, so that you can have caviar for breakfast,
So that your career goes straight up, and in all matters - success!

So that you are loved and appreciated, so that you dig up a treasure in the forest,
To drink and not get sick, to eat and not get fat.

And a lot of household chores and household chores await you.
But in your family and in your personal life everything will work out great!

A good family atmosphere awaits you
And a dizzying personal career.

Let success follow! You are the best to study!

I wish you to live a pleasant and easy life!
And so that your wallet is tightly packed with money!

May you not live sadly,
Cabbage crunches in your wallet,
The key to the car is in my pocket,
The TV remote is waiting on the sofa.

Predictions for children

If you will help your mother
Wash dishes, put everything away,
Your wish will come true
For exemplary obedience!

You have a surprise, my friend,
A fun prize awaits you!
You just have to deserve it
And be good all year!

There will be a feast for you my friend
Well, prepare your mouth,
Lots of delicious ice cream
Sweets, cakes, pastries!

If you don't eat porridge
You won't grow up, my friend,
You'll be weak all year
Like a pea pod!

My friend, if you want to grow up
And save your health
Drink more milk
And don’t shed tears over him!

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Predictions and horoscopes are something that has always attracted people, because each of us dreams of knowing our future in order to know in advance what to prepare for, how to avoid troubles and what to count on. Yes, of course, only a few can predict with high accuracy what will happen. Getting an appointment with such professionals is difficult and expensive. Plus, looking into the future using magic is prohibited, as it is believed that you have to pay for it. However, the payment can sometimes be too high. However, this does not prevent us from joking, adding variety to the gala evening. If you want to amuse your company and make the evening truly unforgettable, dilute it with comic predictions for the New Year 2017.

How to properly format and submit?

You can make funny predictions different ways: glue the letters onto a postcard, write by hand on a small piece of paper, or print them out and cut out a fancy shape. Here, a lot depends on your imagination and what and how exactly the predictions will be attached. If you don’t know how to present them beautifully, we bring to your attention the following. So:

1. Glue the predictions to the bottom of a plate or glass. In this case, the dishes should be placed on a tray so that guests can take them themselves. Attach the prediction words to the card and give your guest the opportunity to draw it themselves.
2. Place the fortune papers in balloon, then inflate it. Guests must take turns coming up, piercing it with a needle and then receiving predictions.
3. Bake cookies with a prediction in advance. These Chinese cookies are classics of the genre. You can write a prediction on regular maps, giving the guest the opportunity to draw any one from the deck.

What should the predictions be?

Please note that predictions must be humorous and “kind”. Do not use ambiguous and negative prophecies under any circumstances, as this can ruin a person’s mood. So, we offer you several options for comic predictions that are perfect for celebrating the New Year:

Happy holidays!