Humorous statuses. Funny statuses

Perhaps the most funny statuses on the website Statusy-Tut.ru! When you want to amuse your friends, look at Statuses-Here and you will find funny statuses for classmates, in contact or for other social networks. The main thing is not to lose heart, because you can always find positive statuses, thanks to which you will cheer up those around you, and gray everyday life will suddenly sparkle with new colors. Our most funny statuses will help make any princess Nesmeyana laugh, and now she is already laughing with you, and together you read laughing statuses for classmates on Statuses-Tut.ru! This is not surprising, because laughter, jokes, a positive and cheerful attitude prolong life, help maintain good relationships and make it easier to look at the world. Our funniest statuses about everything and everyone will give you the opportunity to stand out from the crowd of gloomy and dissatisfied Internet users. Funny quotes and sayings will definitely cheer up everyone who is lucky enough to see them. The funniest statuses are here! Let's choose a status together!

Selected funny statuses!

For us funny statuses do not imply a frivolous approach, since we monitor the quality of our content extremely carefully. Funny statuses will surely please your friends and cheer you up. Positive Quotes as a status will reflect your positive attitude in life and will delight everyone who sees them. In any situation, the main thing is to always think positively, and even if your day is not going well in the morning, come visit us and read our carbon monoxide statuses and you yourself will not notice how the situation will change in your favor. Everyone knows that life is like a zebra - today the stripe is white, and tomorrow it is black. Let the pessimists think so, but you and I are optimists, because on our Odnoklassniki and VKontakte pages we have our very funny statuses!

The funniest statuses!

Your soulmate dreams of meeting New Year on the seashore, and the heat is +30? Our humorous statuses will help you take your companion's thoughts in a different direction. Are your parents tormented by conversations about a summer cottage and are already purchasing seeds in December? Our funny statuses about spring will help you, make them laugh. You can judge a person by his sense of humor. You don't want your friends to think you're a fan of Petrosyan or the Ponomarenko brothers? Then our statuses with humor will help you. And let them just say that Ivan Urgan is simply handsome, now he has serious competition in you.

Funny statuses here!

Therefore, it’s a small matter: go to the appropriate section of the site, find carbon dioxide statuses and post them on your site. Just a few minutes of pleasant work, and a witty quote will appear on your page. And the fact that the work of finding funny statuses is really pleasant cannot even be disputed. After all, along the way you will definitely look at more than a dozen funny quotes, which will certainly delight you with excellent humor and charge you with an excellent mood. Positive people They really love funny statuses. Because funny statuses are very simple, but incredible effective remedy to lift the spirits of everyone around you. It’s so easy to pick up a funny quote and post it as a status on your page. Everyone who visits your page will certainly pay attention to your status and, at a minimum, smile. But this is already a lot! That's why funny statuses are so popular. It would seem that just one or two lines of text, and the mood is already in the positive. This is the whole essence and meaning of funny sayings and sayings.

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I see the meaning of life, I understand it perfectly, I remove toxins, I bring you to consciousness - all at a negotiated price. Your money is my concern

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There are people with this developed sense humor, that their humor has clearly overtaken their intelligence.

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I built a house... I’m raising my son... And I divorced the tree!!!

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Leaders should be praised! And some are simply placed on a pedestal, and higher. Let them sit there and not interfere with their work.

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Damn it, we are beautiful as always, and we make everything around us and the whole world even more beautiful:)

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“Indian summer” is the hot weather that sets in immediately after you have packed and hidden all your summer things.

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If you’re going to go and get yourself into something, it’s easily me! Right to the fullest and to the pumpkin! I’m great, I’m straight, special. I know the routes...

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I eat a kilo of candy a day... life doesn’t get any sweeter.

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Any reinforced concrete plans can be destroyed by battering ram circumstances...

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For some reason beautiful women They fix their gaze on themselves... and their loved ones - the brain...

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It's always a little alarming when doctors give a lifetime guarantee on their work.

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It’s very strange, but it’s those who don’t want to live who want to live long healthy image life...

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After Vladimir Putin drew on school board cat from a rear view, it became clear where the government was turning to education.

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If laziness comes into fashion, I will be the most stylish and cool.

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How fleeting life is - before I knew it, I turned from a girl with a future into a woman with a past...))

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The advance and salary have long since been divorced, they are still only registered at their place of residence, but do not live... I threw away my wallet... as unnecessary)))...

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Our team is tolerant. Endure and endure...)) Statuses about life with humor

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Nature has a great sense of humor! The April Fool's joke was a great success: everything was covered with snow at night, and in the evening it was freezing.

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A sense of humor is a person’s attitude towards life. The more relaxed he is about everything, the brighter his sense of humor.

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Don't argue with just anyone with anything.

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Talent, like an ideal, is different for everyone and different for everyone...

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- The doctor prescribed this medicine to me and promised that with it I would have a different life!
- I mean, the next one?

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HOORAY!!! Yesterday I won a trial against traffic cops!!! My lawyer managed to prove that at a speed of 240 km. per hour, the 40 sign is really not visible!!!

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I got up in the morning in a great mood, decided to enjoy life all day like crazy, came to work, caring people improved my mood...

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Only the dead are absolutely not hypocrites.

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I Lately I sleep very anxiously... especially at work.

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The head goes into the shoulders, the soul goes into the heels. And only the ass has nowhere to hide. And answer her.

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Delivery by Russian Post worked more or less. But then the postman Pechkin’s bicycle was stolen...

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I approach life with humor and sometimes she likes to joke with me...))))

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Men, if you don’t want to live with a fool, don’t turn your WOMEN INTO WOMEN!!

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Life is full of failures and troubles, but if there is a sense of humor, there will be a reason to laugh... and a good mood

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Sometimes the Mosquito considers himself an Eagle, because he has wings and he flies on them...

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Foreigners are surprised why our fences are high - above the waist... It's dark... What's below the waist... then we have a fence!

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I suffer from periodic attacks of an excess of emotions, but on the whole I am quite adequate and happy...))

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A thought always gnaws, if there is food for thought, like a lump in the throat.

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I’m on a diet: I don’t eat meat, fish, flour, or sweets... Yes, it’s simple, I don’t have any money!!!

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You can't shout down a barking dog.

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Previously, in order to empty the toilet, it was necessary to turn off the light in it. Now to do this you need to turn off the router.

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My friend has suffered from blood pressure since childhood... You should have seen how she chokes on dumplings!!!

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Even people with a developed sense of humor do not want a ridiculous salary.

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Brevity is the sister of talent, but not all those who are friends with their sister are friends with their brother...

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The ideal cocktail for life: adventurism doesn’t give a damn, altruism, a drop of selfishness. Mix, shake, drink immediately...)))))

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The sad time is not autumn at all, but those ten days before payday!

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I'm still too young... to wonder if there is life after death? I'm much more interested in... is there sex... after the wedding???

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It seems there will soon be three of us, I told my husband... and took a lover... and he, in my opinion, has been thinking for two months now... that I’m pregnant...))

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Exorcism, on the contrary, is when you are expelled from hell because you annoyed everyone there too.

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Looking for adventures for my fall! Statuses about life with humor

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As soon as my sense of humor overcomes my upbringing, I will finally be able to be rude to others without suffering from remorse.

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Cheap show-offs cost more...

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Not seen in bad company! I’m trying to be stupid... on my own!!!)))

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I drank 200 grams of rum in the morning... Now I'm roaming!!!))

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Why am I so lazy? - asked the ass and answered herself - Because I am forever young and beautiful!

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A woman's handbag is like a tourist's backpack - it contains only the essentials.

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If your wife is listening to your every word, she is probably looking for a hole in your alibi.)))

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Six billion people live on Earth, not counting visitors!!!

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I don’t listen to anyone if they shame and criticize me... Because I’m the best! And also - deaf!

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Life is sheer sex: everyone roasts each other with great pleasure...

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A smart woman WILL get smarter when necessary.

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Before you scold your child, remember yourself at his age, pat him on the head, kiss him and go drink your valerian...:)))))))

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Hope is the last to die...

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People without a sense of humor are like stale champagne. The taste seems to be the same, but there is no holiday feeling.

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I can't understand people... without a sense of humor ;))

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It turns out that bestiality has its deep and rich history: This is where nymphs, satyrs and mermaids come from!

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When there are children in the house, the only place that can be perfectly clean is in a bowl of sweets...

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And her name is Glashka, and her last name is Gotovko, and every day she has the same thing...

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Exit from maternity leave to work - important stage in the life of any woman... Well, if you don’t play smart, then I’ve gone wild, really gone wild))))))

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I was at the market today! I found out... that we have three sizes of clothes: “to fit you”, “not to fit you” and “need to be tried on”!

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Don't know who you are in life? go outside at 4am and shout “WHO AM I?” whoever wakes up will answer!!

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Tell me my dressing table, am I such a schmuck in nature?

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For wealthy gentlemen! The family is for sale on a turnkey basis. Beautiful wife, child and mother-in-law.

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Daughter, it's time to tell you the truth. we brought you in to wash the dishes

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Not all proverbs are for cats during Maslenitsa! For example, when I eat, I am very alert and sociable...

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“I urgently want to meet an unmarried president to create a strong family”

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I watch detective stories on TV. A judge was killed with a statuette of Themis, a computer technician was hit in the head with a laptop. In the next episode, the corpse of a gynecologist is found. I wonder how it is?

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Keep your friends at a distance. At gunshot distance. And NO problems with betrayal.

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A woman is honest only during hysterics... Provoke her and shudder with delight at the fact that she really thinks about you...

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Your freedom to wave your arms ends where my nose begins.

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It's good when people have a sense of humor, some don't have any at all.

Statuses about life with humor

New funny statuses- it seems like a trifle, but how these funny quotes lift your spirits! We want to amuse you, your friends when they visit your Odnoklassniki page, or simply cheer you up. We must live cheerfully, joyfully! You come home sad, maybe you had a quarrel with a young man, or you have troubles at school or at work. And I really want something that will cheer me up and lift my spirits! Add new cool statuses to Odnoklassniki or VKontakte!
Watch, read, select cool statuses for Odnoklassniki, Vkontakte. We collect the newest, funniest and funny statuses. Select the cool status you like and click on the icon of your social network. The most funny statuses only on our website! Stop looking for them on the Internet, because we have already collected the best of the best. Most people often fall into funny situations. At the right approach they easily turn into cool statuses. This is how about half of them are created, the other half are specially invented, but no less cool. As cool status jokes can be used, which have recently lost some of their popularity. The best jokes, jokes, incredible life situations, it's all here - read and enjoy. We hope you enjoy it!

No matter how much bad things they say about me, I always have something to add. 100

Nothing limits your actions like the phrase “do what you want”... 81

Guys get jealous when they love you. Girls are jealous even when they don't love you. 72

Can't find an approach to me? Go around! 198 - cool statuses

Comrade, let’s go check out the cash... 21

Nothing strengthens faith in a person more than 100% prepayment. 30

If you know exactly who is to blame, don’t give yourself away. 48

I'm going with eyes closed and a smile from ear to ear, towards future happiness, through a field of rakes... 98

From the statement: “How do I feel…” Crossed out. “How I did you all...” Crossed out. “Yes, you all should go to...” Crossed out. “Please grant me another vacation.” 31

Dear Money! I miss you very much. I promise to buy you a new wallet. If you want, you can invite your relatives from Europe or America - I won’t object. I will accept everyone! 42

I want chronic health, progressive happiness, recurring success, a hypertensive salary, and an eternally pregnant wallet without the threat of miscarriage!))) 39

The best way to test a guy’s fidelity is to ask the sleeping person in the morning the question: “Will you go to yours or will you stay with me?” 67

According to statistics, the phrase “How huge he is!” Most often heard by a spider. 65

Briefly about yourself: Year of manufacture 1991, Mileage 20, Light color, Height 162, Lights blue, Documents on hand, Tuning present, Body not damaged, not rusty, Roof in place, but no brakes. All options, I start with half a turn. 54

You can't look in the mirror when you eat - you'll eat away your happiness. And when you drink, you drink. And it’s better not to hang a mirror in the toilet at all... 62

Sex is when he wants, erotica is when she wants, porn is when both want. 48

If you don't have the money to change your wardrobe, change your job! For the new team, all your old clothes are new. 41

Flowers should be for no reason... Happiness should be unique... The house should be warm... The weather - and it doesn’t matter what the weather is! But love should be mutual. 46

All people bring happiness - some by their presence, others by their absence) 69

What would I give to a person who has everything? I would punch him in the jaw. 20

If men knew what women were thinking, they would court twenty times more boldly. 46

Only nesting dolls can live soul to soul. 65

I need to call my mom and tell her where I am. - Hello, mom? Where I am? 44

The little boy was watching porn. I didn’t understand the movie, but I was sweating a lot. 31

The main thing is that they are waiting for you at home, and not waiting for you 61

Chocolate tastes twice as good if you can’t have it) 40

The Lord protects us all. But the shelf life is different for everyone. 47

The great one protects me ancient egyptian god peace and tranquility - DANUNAH. 75

Every day those around me prove to me that life without a brain is real. 61

No one will die a virgin: life will fuck us all. 34

Presented in this category are super funny quotes will help you master your own inner sense of humor and then correctly present a witty joke in reality, it will be much easier for you. You have come to the page of comedy and wordplay - stock up on the sharpest jokes, tinged with light irony with a pinch of satire and generously seasoned with fresh jokes.

Cheer up yourself and your friends with good portions of funny statuses! Humor is positive emotions. If you know how to enjoy life, enjoy every moment you live, and a sense of humor is your constant companion in life, Everyday life, then share interesting jokes and a charge of positive emotions with your friends, make all members of the social network laugh, our statuses are a great opportunity to cheer everyone up and have a good laugh yourself! Original funny quotes, phrases, aphorisms can also be found in the status category.

Funny? Funny? You cannot resist the delight and jubilation that rages in your soul. Then don’t restrain yourself - your status is your mood and with the help of it you can easily share your joy with others! It is probably impossible to overestimate the benefits of laughter and positive emotions, because we all know the familiar phrase “laughter prolongs life”! Just think about how powerful a status can be if it is not just a banal statement or primitive, flat humor, but an original, witty quote. Let a wave of positivity cover all your friends, and let the raging sea of ​​laughter and joy never calm down!

If you are bored and sad, then remember that the best cure for loneliness and melancholy is fun! Good joke can be the beginning of a fun and pleasant conversation. Having interested the visitors of your page with a cool funny status, you will definitely find like-minded people and, together with the same cheerful friends, you will easily tune in to the positive. If the current state of your soul does not want fun, and your mood, to put it mildly, is not the best, then quickly call your friends for help! How? Of course status!!! Or rather, status from the category! Your friends will immediately understand that you urgently need to be rescued from the blues!

Down with sadness and melancholy - we present to you new breathtaking pearls of wit that instantly improve your mood and energize positive emotions all day!

The coolest aphorisms, very funny quotes and the latest humorous sayings read now! Have a stock of cool ones funny phrases for all occasions, everyone needs it!

Laugh healthy with! And let the whole world laugh with you!