Daria Dontsova: “I survived to help others survive…. Daria Dontsova: My main enemy looks at me from the mirror

In the late 90s, Daria Dontsova survived a severe cancer disease, and when she managed to defeat the disease, she decided that she should help other women survive and win in the same situation. Therefore, I began to actively participate in the “Together against Breast Cancer” charity foundation. She not only donates large sums from his fees, but also participates in various fund activities, and in his radio program “The Pill for Depression” and at meetings with readers he invariably talks about charity, good deeds.

Recently the most popular writer Russia (the total circulation of its detective stories has exceeded 130 million copies) presented in St. Petersburg its novel “The Sprawling Cranberry of Hollywood,” the opening of its new book series “Fortune’s Favorite Stepanida Kozlova,” and also answered questions from “Good Deed.”

Our stars, helping sick children, are afraid of being misunderstood...

— Daria, many Western stars participate in various charity events, there this is not considered something surprising... Why are such examples still rare among our celebrities?

“But we also have a lot of such examples, it’s just that not everyone talks about their good deeds, not everyone wants to advertise on it. And this is an indicator that people engage in charity based on their hearts and conscience. You see, it's not that hard for a very rich person to give a couple of million dollars to a charity. Just sign a piece of paper or tell the secretary: “Transfer through the bank.” It is much more difficult to give up your precious time. I really value such examples when a woman comes to a children's oncology hospital with the words: “I have a car, I can meet one of your patients who comes from another city, bring him to the clinic, help his parents, allow his family wash at home in my bathroom.” This is also charity, although it is not related to money.

As for our artists, many of whom are my friends from ancient times, I know for certain that not only Joseph Davydovich Kobzon helps several orphanages, but Philip Kirkorov also helps orphanages and clinics. Don’t be surprised, even Sergei Zverev helps several orphanages. Why don’t they talk about this... this is their exclusively personal internal matter! There is Ira Muromtseva, the presenter of Channel One, together we call “Ambassadors Against Breast Cancer,” and I know that Ira works a lot with cancer patients. Why doesn't he tell? Although I don’t shout about it at every corner either.

- But there is another point of view on this matter: famous people should, on the contrary, talk about their good deeds, attracting the attention of the general public to these problems... Chulpan Khamatova followed this path, and her “Gift of Life” foundation achieved impressive results!

- This is a double-edged sword. We still have our own mentality. And if tomorrow Joseph Davydovich Kobzon stands up to his full height and says who and how many children he helped, then the first thing the press will write about him is: “Kobzon is doing PR for himself.” And he, as you might guess, doesn’t want this at all. In the same way, Philip Kirkorov, towards whom the press is initially negative, does not want to either. The media have formed the image of a brawler, and if Philip now starts telling how he went to see a very sick girl fan, how he bought a TV for a disabled boy in St. Petersburg, the press will attack the singer: “Kirkorov is doing PR for himself.” And after the concert he goes to this girl, this boy, gives in the distant orphanage free concert and does not invite television cameras, photojournalists...

— Do you often go to hospitals and meet people who need support and help?

- Often. Just recently I came from Kaluga, where our foundation, together with the Gazmash association, organized a big charity event for children from an oncology hospital. The children were successfully treated, but, however, everyone was wearing masks. We organized a party for them - clowns, actors, cake, gifts. Parents of sick children were also invited, close relatives also need support and participation, because sometimes it is easier to get sick yourself than to watch your child get sick.

“My mission is to make people’s lives better, kinder, more fun...”

— You are a successful, energetic woman, you always radiate optimism... Have you always been such a positive, self-confident person?

— You see what’s the matter, optimism and self-confidence are two different things. My self-confidence is actually very bad, because I am not a very confident person, especially in the morning, when I look at myself in the mirror, see something unfamiliar from there and tell him: “I don’t know you, but I’ll paint you!” (Laughs.) As for optimism... I have always believed that any problems must be solved. Okay, now I’ll sit down and cry that I was kicked out of work, my company closed... But the job won’t appear on its own if I’m sitting at home, sobbing into my pillow? So I poured snot, and then I have to get up and go look for work.

— How religious and church-going are you?

- I Orthodox man, but I don't really like to talk about it. A churched person, not a churched person - this has now become very fashionable. But this is such an intimate and personal part of life, and in general, my confessor always says that God is inside a person. There was a case when my father told one parishioner to stop fasting. He entered the church and heard this parishioner very loudly and actively talking about how she fasted - how good she was, how correct she was. She screamed so loudly about it, he came up to her and said: “Mother, from this day on you will not keep the fast.” This is a kind of punishment for a man who talked a lot about his religion.

— Daria, you are the most successful Russian writer... Every month your books sell 1 million copies. A million a month is mind boggling... At the same time, you are constantly getting involved in some radio programs, TV projects that take up a lot of time... What motivates you?

— By and large, one thing: my responsibility to people who have cancer. I have my own author's program, which is called “The Depression Pill.” IN different options it switched from “Russian Radio” to “Mayak”, from “Mayak” to “Komsomolskaya Pravda”, from “KP” to “First Popular”, because each radio program lives for two or three years, no more. These are the laws of the genre. Then, as a rule, the format changes, but I don’t want to change it.

I just have to tell people that it’s not scary, that a person can recover, everything in life can be good, any trouble can be dealt with. And not only in terms of illness. In addition, any disease brings with it a heap of problems, because, as you know, trouble does not come alone. If your husband leaves, it doesn’t matter, there will be another, or maybe you don’t need a husband at all. There is no need to expect gratitude from children - there are no ungrateful children, there are stupid parents who expect gratitude. I do this four times a week because I really feel sorry for my readers. Many of them have a huge number of problems in their heads that can be completely avoided.

- You work as a therapist!

- I'm trying! Because there are a huge number of women and men who are told by everyone around them that they are depressed. And depression is a severe clinical diagnosis when a person lies face to the wall and does not speak. But if you were fired from your job, it’s not depression. If you don't want to work, that's laziness! When a person understands this, he stops crying into his pillow... It is important for me to set people up for a wave of kindness and understanding.

An inconsolable mother calls: “My son is homosexual, what should I do?” I asked: “Do you love your son? If you love, you must accept him as he is. He will not improve if he is a genetic homosexual... But first, take him to a psychotherapist to find out - is this real or feigned homosexuality? Most men have had homosexual contacts once, but not all have had them!

Many questions arise in connection with oncology...

The radio presenter receives little money, so we remove the financial side; on radio and TV they don’t give any bonuses for stardom... You see, there are strong people, and there are weak people. If a person is strong, he must definitely “drag” someone less strong with him and show him that in different life situations there is a way out. And secondly, if you show willpower, courage, step on your own laziness, then you will emerge victorious from this situation, do you understand what’s the matter? I am obviously stronger than many of my readers, and therefore I am trying to “drag” them with me in some way. They start telling me: “Well, after the oncological operation I will be bald, after hormone therapy I will be fat and generally disabled.” I answer: “Well, here I am: not bald, not fat and not disabled.” Two arms, two legs, one head - and you have the same thing. You and I are anatomically very similar organisms, you will be treated the same way as me. I recovered, but what prevents you from recovering? That's the whole conversation. Everything is very simple. And such conversations work very well.

— But there is a charitable component to this activity?

“I probably survived so that people would have more fun and a better life.” If I stop doing this, they will remove me - Game Over, it is not needed here, it does not fulfill its vital function. This is how I explain this whole situation. A sick person needs to be told that he will recover, that everything will be fine, that he will be cured, even if this is not true. However, I never broadcast. They ask me - I answer. I always say that I am not a psychologist or a doctor. If you ask me how I would get out of this situation, this is how I would get out of it - this is my experience. Whether it suits you or not is your business. I always say, if you fell on the road and sprained your finger, and then for the remaining 40 years of your life you carry this finger like this and tell everyone: “I am disabled, I am sick, help me, please,” then I will not respect you, this not the same situation.

— Do you feel nourished by your listeners? Perhaps this switching later helps you in your writing?

- No, the situation is different here. I have many friends in so-called “show business” circles, mostly singers. Many people tell me that when an artist goes into the hall, he has such a drive, an energy boost. But you know, the radio broadcast is a kind of emptiness: here you are sitting, you have a microphone, ears and, as a rule, it’s night, people are not sleeping, all this is still curtained. I rather get very tired when I leave the studio. My task is not to receive, but on the contrary, to “shove” something into the listener’s head so that he stops crying at that moment. A positive energy And positive emotions I will get it from my dogs - I will take my pugs at home and go to bed with them. I have four pugs - three beige and one black. They are alimony puppies, all from different dogs, but they live in the same family, friendly. Their names are Musya, Fira, Kapa, ​​Fenya, the cat San Sanych and a turtle of unknown gender, which we call Hera - either a man or a woman...

It's not that bad...

— Tell me, the opportunity to recover after such a serious illness as you had depends on higher powers or the person himself?

— In fact, the cancerophobia of Soviet people has very distant roots. IN Soviet years They never made a diagnosis on the doctor’s card, they put the letters there - A, B, C-75. A person came, the doctor saw that he had oncology, but there was an order not to say that he had oncology. The first stage is surgery, treatment, but not talking. That's why they said - lipoma, that's why they said - fibroma, a lot of such things. A person ended up in an oncology department, they explained to him - this is a fibroma, you need to operate, do histology, and we will release you healthy. They let us go, often without even telling our relatives. They released a person cured of oncology with a bulletin “disease N-758.” He went to the accounting department (“I have fibroids”) and moved on, forgetting about oncology for the rest of his life. But when they said that it was oncology, that means it was stage 4 and everything was very bad, do you understand what’s the matter? Therefore, there was a feeling that everything was predetermined: oncology, and then the crematorium. And everyone was silent about the huge mass of people who were cured even in the 1960s, when there were no modern medicines.

Now we have the other extreme: medicine has said that we must tell the patient that he has serious illness. How many patients we ourselves have given birth to... But even if a woman has cervical cancer, how many such women give birth to children after surgery! Take the statistics, go to the website of the 62nd Moscow City Hospital! Ten years ago, 98 percent of children with leukemia in this country died or went abroad. And now the situation has changed dramatically - 98 percent of children are recovering... Go to the website of the Kaluga Children's Regional Hospital, all these statistics are presented there. And please don’t write - it’s fatal, incurable. Somebody, somewhere, once told me that everyone dies from cancer... Who, where, when - show me the document! Take real papers, it says something completely different! It's not really that tragic. Start by simply going to the doctor once every six months and take care of your health yourself.

— You have said more than once that your detective stories have a psychotherapeutic effect, although they are beautiful fairy tales... And you yourself are capable of sacrificial acts, for example, to help to a stranger?

— At a meeting with readers in St. Petersburg, I was reproached that, supposedly, it doesn’t happen as I described, that two friends live in the same apartment and raise children... But this is my real situation. Many years ago I worked at the newspaper “Evening Moscow”, I had my own apartment, which is rare for Moscow, because I was just over 20. I already had a child, however, I gave birth to a child very early without a father - it was a classic single mother without child support, but with a small boy. And one woman worked as the secretary of our editor-in-chief, and one day, passing by, I saw that she was sitting and sobbing. I asked: “Why are you crying?” - “Mom kicked me out of the apartment.” She had her own life story, she had nowhere to go. I took her in, and we lived together for either six or seven years. Then she married an Italian, went to live in Italy, now she is some kind of Italian countess - do you feel Dasha Vasilyeva?

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“I get up at 6 am”

Instagrams run by your pug dogs mention that you get up at 6am every day. Is it really true?

Yes, I get up at 6 in the morning, because I am not only a writer and TV presenter - no one has relieved me of the duties of a wife and mother. I have assistants, I have a housekeeper, but I always cook in the house myself.

- What do you like to eat?

Fish in any form, except fried, vegetables, fruits. Doctors forbade me to eat meat products - not exactly, but somehow limit myself to them. But since I never really liked them anyway - neither sausage, nor meat, nor frankfurters - the refusal was very easy.

- When you cook meat for your family, is there any temptation to try a piece?

Absolutely! I don’t like it, so I cook it completely calmly. In our family we have never had any special gastronomic problems. The only thing is that we always cook soup. There are a lot of men in the house, so somehow it’s traditional that there’s not a day without soup. But we always cook it in water or vegetable broth, not in meat broth. And for variety, we sometimes add two spoons to any hot vegetarian soup processed cheese. It turns out very tasty.

“I don’t believe in magic pills”

- How do you manage to be so graceful and slender? Do you have a special diet?

For those who want to always be in good shape, I can only advise one thing: eat less and exercise - there’s simply nothing else! All the stories about “magic pills” with which you can eat anything and still lose weight are not true. Diet is not a one-time promotion, but a lifestyle. If you live with your mouth “gagged” for two weeks, and then, having lost a couple of kilograms, you “untie it”, then not only will the lost kilograms return, but you will also bring a couple of friends with you. I have foods that I never eat at all. Mayonnaise, smoked products, meat. I don’t buy sausage, but pate, boiled pork, roast beef - I make everything myself. I buy meat from the market and cook it at home.

I also play sports, go to the gym three times a week - unfortunately, at night. I get there at 8 pm because I have no other time.

- How do you rest?

At home. I come in the evening, collect all my dogs, and go to bed. Forgive me for the indecent confession - I eat in bed, although I know that it is very bad, it is a disgrace, but I do it. And I feel good, happy and healthy!

The writer is a frequent visitor to the fitness room, where she easily stretches. Photo: Instagram.com

HELP "KP":

At 64 years old, he stretches at the machine.

Daria DONTSOVA (real name - Agrippina Arkadyevna Dontsova) is one of those rare women who does not hide her age (born June 7, 1952). And all because at 64 years old, she, a mother of two children and grandmother of two grandchildren, looks fit, fresh, full of energy and optimism.

Everyone knows that the author of ironic detective stories survived a terrible disease - breast cancer (diagnosed in 1998), but managed to defeat it. Dontsova calls on women who find themselves in a similar situation not to give up: “If they told you “oncology,” this does not mean that the next station is “crematorium.”

“Many years ago, I began to tell journalists: oncology is conquerable,” Dontsova wrote on her page on social networks. - They didn’t want to listen to me, but I repeated these words, repeated them, and put on TV programs. I was the first to speak openly on screen about breast cancer. And I’m proud that now this disease is no longer considered shameful, that women have begun to be checked and to calmly go for surgery.”

BY THE WAY

According to the Russian Book Chamber, Dontsova ranks first in the country among authors of adult fiction in terms of the total annual circulation of published books. In 2015, 117 titles of books and brochures by Dontsova were published in Russia with a total circulation of 1 million 968 thousand copies.

SPECIFICALLY

Simple ways to become an optimist

- Daria, you always smile and good mood. What's your secret?

Actually, I already wrote my tips on my Instagram page. But I repeat again.

1. Mine main enemy looks at me from the mirror. We need to educate ourselves every day, not those around us.

2. You shouldn’t try to change those around you, you should change yourself.

3. You must love yourself and your loved ones.

4. You should never show aggression.

5. Whether I will be happy or unhappy depends only on me.

6. No matter what happens to me, I first of all think that the Lord will manage everything, will certainly help, I read the prayer of the Optina elders, the 90th Psalm and do not panic.

7. Every Sunday I go to liturgy, confess, take communion, and fast. I know that the Lord will give me everything, but only at the moment when He deems it necessary. I understand that we are on Earth in order to save our soul, so I am not angry with those who do me bad, I am grateful to ill-wishers, they teach me to be tolerant and calm.

8. I don’t divide people into good and bad, I don’t condemn anyone. The one who is bad for me is good for another person.

9. I don't argue.

10. The husband is the main one in the family.

11. I don't complain about life.

12. When I am guilty, I ask for forgiveness.

13. I try to live by the commandments.

14. I have true friends.

15. It’s good to have money, but my happiness does not depend on it, and there are some things I will never do even for billions.

16. If I don't understand something, I'll ask.

17. I see only the good in people.

18. I'm not offended.

19. I work a lot.

20. I'm always in a good mood.

21. I don’t sort things out.

22. I enjoy little things.

23. I don't envy anyone.

And I am happy. It's simple. If you want to be happy, believe in God and educate yourself every day without getting tired.

© Blagovest Publishing House, 2012

Preface

Our spiritual literature, although it is rich in guides for those seeking the salvation of the soul, but since such books as the works of St. Ephraim the Syrian, St. Abba Barsanuphius, St. Isaac the Syrian and the like are quite expensive, and therefore not accessible to everyone, a compilation was undertaken this book, in which, like a treasury, a lot of good things have been collected, and brevity and clarity of presentation were meant.

Many of the female monastics, living by their labors, do not have enough time to read lengthy works; This book is especially convenient for such people.

There are many paths leading to God, but we believe we won’t go wrong if we put God at the head of everything. remembrance of death the most precious of all spiritual feats, for it, and only this one, separates a person from the vanities of this age, makes him dead world, destroys all sinful passions in him, replaces all exploits, embraces a person’s whole life, cleanses his heart, attracts the grace of the Holy Spirit to him and thereby grants him free ascent to heaven, without hindrance from the aerial authorities of the world ruler of the darkness of this age.

The great of the ascetics, Saint Isaac of Syria, discusses the remembrance of death as follows: “Satan hates this craft and attacks with all his might to destroy it in a person, for he knows, the insidious one, that if this thought abides in a person, then his mind no longer stands. in this land there is deception, and its wiles do not come close to man.”

Since the remembrance of death in action is nothing more than the continuous directing of the attention of the mind - and with it all the powers of the soul - to the future eternal life, then the goal of all the efforts of the tempter is to entertain the attention of the ascetic of Christ and direct it to the concerns of everyday life or scattered over the vain objects of the present world. “And therefore,” says the Monk Isaac, “if it were possible, Satan would give man the kingdom of the whole world, just to blot out such a thought in his mind through entertainment. And if he could,” confirms the holy father, “he would do it willingly.”

So, here is the right and shortest path for everyone those seeking salvation souls. The methods for acquiring such an incomparable benefit are presented in this work with proper consistency.

Also included here is a remarkable extract from the miterik of the monk Isaiah, compiled by him exclusively for female monastics and hitherto not published in Russian.

We invoke the blessing of the Almighty on our small work and ask that the minds and hearts of those who honor and strive to fulfill His holy will will be opened by His grace, according to what is spoken: Tell me Your ways, O Lord, and teach me Your paths.

I. Arseny.

Saint Athos, Russik, 1875

About faith in God

He who has faith and is baptized will be saved, but he who does not have faith will be condemned.

Mk.

The evidence of faith in the existence of God is obvious: the first place among them is occupied by what God inscribed on the tablets of the human heart domestic law, convincing of the existence of the Divine. Among rude peoples this was expressed in worship inanimate objects: the sun, the moon, fire and others, and among some we even find a temple created by them to an unknown God, from which we are fully convinced that at the very creation of man, worship of God was implanted in him as something natural. And if at the present time atheists have appeared who deny the existence of God, then these are people who have not only corrupted their concepts, but even distorted the natural law.

The internal law given to us by God shows us good and evil, and for the good done it rewards us with a joyful feeling of the soul, and for evil it punishes us with torment of conscience, which serves as obvious proof of the infinite wisdom of our Creator, Who, although He gave us free will, but at the same time instilled within us, as it were, a kind of leader who, with inner suggestions and sensations, encourages us to fulfill the will of God. Then given to us Holy Bible, which with all clarity leads us to the knowledge of the existence of God and His Divine and wise purposes for the creation of the universe, for everything visible and invisible to us in this world silently tells us about the Creator and Creator, about His goodness, omnipotence and wisdom.

In this world, every plant, animal, and man, as we see, comes from one another: plants from seeds, animals from their own kind, and so does man. Who started it all? Where did the first plants and the first man come from? That nothing could come into being by itself, we are convinced of this from the fact that during the entire existence of the world, nothing was created or appeared by itself, except for what Almighty God created in the beginning; and if there are madmen who claim that everything came from some kind of matter or was created by itself, then this is obviously just resistance to the truth or an arrogant desire to express something new. This direction, unfortunately, is in Lately developed mainly among young people due to the fact that, having not received a real religious education, driven by the spirit of pride, they think that they have become smarter than everyone else and that they were mistaken before them. It is obvious that such absurd ideas can only take place in the heads of those thinkers who are under the special influence of the original enemy of our eternal salvation.

Faith will save a person only when his deeds are consistent with it, faith without works is dead(Ik. 2:26); and our good deeds are only pleasing to God when they are done with faith in Jesus Christ (Gal. 2:16). Faith is a heavenly ray that enlightens the darkness of our life, guiding us to our heavenly homeland. Faith is the voice with which the blind man shouted: Son of David, have mercy on me! Although we do not see Jesus Christ, by the power of faith we know that He is the never-evening Light, dispelling the darkness of delusion, that He is the Guardian, protecting us from misfortunes, that He is the heavenly Physician, healing our sinful ulcers. But faith is a gift of God, which is confirmed and rooted in us from the fulfillment of God’s commandments, from the constant striving for good. For teaching and confirmation in faith and piety, one must resort to our mother St. The Church, into which, as into a rich repository, the apostles placed everything that is true and saving, so that those who thirst would flow to this life-giving source and draw abundantly from it the water of life.

In the matter of our salvation, faith is the same as the foundation in a building: if the foundation is undermined, the building inevitably collapses. Where there is no faith, there is unbridled passions, dragging a person into the abyss of evil; for unbelief he suffers the wrath of God; we see this in destruction ancient world in the flood and in the absorption of several cities by the earth. Unbelievers are worse than a dumb animal, because it also knows its master: the donkey and his master's manger knew the will of him who had acquired it(Isa. 1:3). Unbelief destroys human well-being, not only private and family, but also public. Faith, like any virtue, is subject to temptation; he who is not tempted is unskilled, as Holy Scripture says; The enemy of our salvation, by God’s permission, strives to shake our faith, but we must repel his attacks with fervent prayer to God, - this is how the Lord taught the holy apostles when their faith became weak.

The holy fathers call souls alien to faith in God their Creator dead; So says Saint Callistus: “Many dead have souls, in a living body, like in a tomb, buried.” “Listen,” exclaims Saint Demetrius of Rostov, “for the body of a sinful man is a living tomb. dead soul called."

Diligent prayer, frequent and heartfelt confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, love for neighbors, humility, avoidance of acquaintances and conversations with corrupt people, and especially with non-believers - these are the most reliable means for preserving and strengthening the faith.

“Pray to God,” teaches Saint Tikhon, “so that He will give you true living faith; take care of your faith more than your life, for we must lay down our life for faith.”

We owe not only the right to believe, but also to know which faith is most acceptable to God. In this, as in everything, we will seek guidance in the word of God. The Apostle Thomas believed in the resurrection only when he felt the Savior’s wounds; but the Lord said to him: “You have seen and believed, but those are more worthy of praise who, having not seen, believe.” If we believe what we see, then this is no longer faith. True Faith there is confidence in the invisible as if in the visible and in the expected as if in the present; So, we do not see God, but we believe that He exists; We do not see the future bliss prepared for the righteous, and the eternal torment awaiting sinners, but we believe that they exist - such faith is true, pleasing to God.

Perfect faith consists of complete devotion to the will of God, as mentioned in the Holy Gospel: Whoever says to this mountain, “Be moved and thrown into the sea,” and does not think in his heart, but has faith, even as he says, it happens, it will be done to him, even if he says.(Mark 11:23). Such faith is a great gift of God, bestowed primarily on simple and kind hearts - hid the ecu cue from the wise and revealed the ecu cue to babes. Yes, Father, for such was the favor before You(Matt. 11:21–25). The martyrs had such faith when they went into the fire, and it did not burn them; they were thrown into the sea, and it spewed them out unharmed; they were taken out to be devoured by bloodthirsty beasts, and they meekly licked their feet. Such is the power of faith that overcomes natural laws!

So the paralytic was once brought to the Lord with faith to receive healing and received it (Matthew 9: 2). A wife who suffered from bleeding for twelve years was instantly healed by just touching the Lord’s garment with faith (Matthew 9:22). The blind man cried out in faith: Son of David, have mercy on me!- and his eyes were opened (Mark 10:52). Uar fell with faith and prayer at the feet of the Life-Giver, and his dead daughter rose from her deathbed (Mark 5:42). And in our time, although poor in faith, there have been many cases where those possessed by long-term and uncured illnesses, having exhausted all their property for healing and not receiving any relief, when they resorted with faith to the Source of life, the Lord, they received perfect healing: the blind despised , the crooked were corrected, the lame began to walk, the mute began to speak, and other countless ailments, with just the invocation of His most holy name with faith, were instantly healed by His omnipotence, which was, without a doubt, witnessed by many of those reading these lines, and on some the very grace-filled effect of healing took place . Let us remember the recent cases that took place in the God-saved city of Moscow: in 1867, when the Athos shrine was brought there, how many long-term ill people were instantly healed by just touching the shrine! Let us also pay attention to miraculous phenomenon, what happens with Epiphany water, which others have preserved and preserve for decades and is always fresh, as if just drawn! Isn’t visible in all this the action of the omnipotent Providence of God, paternally caring for the establishment of faith in us, which is the basis of all our salvation?

O depth of wealth, and wisdom, and understanding of God, for you have not tested His judgment, and have not explored His ways(Rom. 11:33), - cries the holy Apostle Paul, teaching us not to become arrogant about Divine objects that are inaccessible to the concepts of our limited mind, but rather to be guided by humility, for the works of God are incomprehensible. Let us believe in simplicity of heart, as the holy apostles believed, and we will be saved.

Faith produces in the heart of the believer joy and gladness about the Lord Savior, about His goodness and love for mankind; it softens suffering and sorrow with the hope of heavenly reward for them, makes a person cold towards everything earthly, transitory, encourages him to seek the eternal, incorruptible, heavenly; it mysteriously unites the soul of the believer with Christ, like a bride with a groom: I will betroth you to Myself in faith,- says the prophet on behalf of God, - and hang the Lord(Hos. 2:20); and the Holy Apostle Paul: For I have betrothed you to a single husband, a pure virgin, to present Christ's(2 Cor. 11:2).

Great is the power of faith: it caught some alive into heaven, and snatched others from the flood waters; she made the barren bear children and saved them from the edge of the sword; she brought the poor and humiliated out of the ditch and made them rich and great; brought down fire from the sky, divided the sea, cut the stone and poured out water from it; fed the hungry, called the dead to life, tamed the waves; healed the sick, defeated armies, overthrew walls, stopped the mouths of lions, extinguished the flames of fire, humbled the proud and exalted the humble; in a word, everything is possible for believers, as the holy Apostle Paul confirms when he said about himself: I can do everything about Jesus who strengthens me(Phil. 4:13)

The spread of the Christian faith at its very beginning met fierce resistance from the spirit of malice, which continues to this day; its offspring: atheists, apostates, leaders of heresies, schismatics and others - no matter how much they strive to eclipse the truth, the Orthodox Christian faith shines in all its purity and will remain so until the end of the world, according to the word of the Lord: On this rock I will build My Church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.(Matthew 16:18). The devil strives for nothing more than to plunge us into the abyss of unbelief; but let us firmly resist him, according to the word of the apostle: Take the shield of faith over everything, in it you will be able to extinguish all the arrows of the evil one.(Eph.6:16).

Since faith in God is the basis of our salvation, our conversation began with it. Next we will talk about other virtues necessary for the salvation of the soul.

To build a house, you need different Construction Materials: brick, wood, iron, etc.; Likewise, to establish an eternal heavenly dwelling, many virtues are needed.

When starting any good work, and especially reading soul-helping works, it is necessary to pray to God, inwardly from the depths of our hearts to ask Him to bless our undertaking and make it fruitful, otherwise our work will be according to the word of the Lord: without Me you cannot do anything(John 15:5)

About prayer

Pray unceasingly, give thanks in everything, and whatever you ask in prayer as a believer, accept.

1 Sol. 5:18; Matt. 21:22

Just as in the natural state a child does not suddenly become an adult, but reaches full maturity little by little, so in a spiritual state, a person cannot suddenly become spiritual, pleasing to God from being carnal and sinful, but ascends to this height gradually, striving in virtues, in the head which prayer is worth, for through prayer we ask God for everything, according to what He said: ask and it will be given to you(Luke 11:9); and if we do not ask, then we will not receive anything, we will not perform a single virtue, if we do not turn in prayer to the Lord, asking for His help. But before we begin to pray, we must know what prayer is? How and what should you pray for?

What is prayer

Prayer is the reverent striving of the human soul towards God or a heartfelt conversation between a person and God, during which a person, imagining God invisibly present with him, pours out the feelings of his soul before Him. In the Old and New Testaments there are many indications about the need for prayer and its high importance, which is fully confirmed by the examples of the Savior and His apostles, who spent days and nights in prayer. Their followers, who practiced this high virtue throughout their entire lives and experienced the necessity and beneficialness of it, called her the queen and leader of the ranks of virtues. Not a single virtue has been said so much as about prayer: it is the elevation of the mind and heart to God, with it a person enters into the host of angels and becomes a participant in their bliss, is illuminated by their wisdom; prayer is incense, most favorable to the Lord, the most reliable bridge for overcoming the waves of everyday temptations, the insurmountable wall of all believers, a safe haven, divine clothing, clothing the soul in great beauty and beauty. Prayer is the mother of all virtues, the guardian of chastity, the seal of virginity, a sure defense against all the tricks of our primordial enemy the devil. Smite your adversaries with the name of Christ, that is, with prayer, as the holy fathers teach, for there is no stronger weapon than this, neither in heaven nor on earth. Prayer is the affirmation of peace, the propitiation of God for sins, a pier unstormed by waves, enlightenment of the mind, an ax to despair, the destruction of sadness, the birth of hope, the quenching of anger, the intercessor of the judged, the consolation of prisoners, the salvation of the perishing: she made the whale a home for Jonah, returned Hezekiah from the gates of death to life, the youths of Babylon turned the flame into dew; Saint Elijah closed heaven with prayer: Elijah was a man like us, and he prayed that there would be no rain: and there was no rain on the earth for three years and six months.(James 5:17). Even the most holy apostles, when they could not cast out unclean spirits, the Lord said to them: This kind does not come forth except by prayer and fasting(Matt. 17:21).

There is nothing more precious in a person’s life than prayer: it makes the impossible possible, the difficult easy, the inconvenient convenient: prayer is just as necessary human soul, how much air for breathing or water for the plant. He who does not pray is deprived of communion with God and is likened to a dry, barren tree, which is cut and thrown into the fire. He who does not pray does not receive God’s blessing on his deeds, according to what is said: Unless the Lord builds a house that has labored in vain to build(Ps. 127:1).

The misfortune of a blind man is not to see the light, but a much greater misfortune for a Christian is to lose the disposition to prayer, to deprive his soul of Divine light: darkness settles in such a soul, and upon leaving the body its lot will be eternal darkness.

Here is a brief outline of the meaning and power of prayer, and at the same time its advantages, and the plight in which people find themselves who are alien to the spirit of prayer.

What and how should you pray for?

The Lord's Prayer “Our Father” is the highest of all prayers, as poured out from the most pure lips of the Savior Himself; it summarizes all human needs.

“When we come before the King and God and speak in prayer,” says Saint John Climacus, “let us not approach this without preparing; lest he, having seen us from afar, not having weapons and clothing befitting a royal presence, command His servants and servants to bind us, to cast us far from His face, and to tear the charter of our petitions to pieces and cast them down on our face, and therefore, starting a conversation with God, one must reject everything worldly from oneself, not heeding any thoughts that arise with special force during prayer.”

Venerable Cassian the Roman, regarding prayer, gives next instruction: “In order for prayer to be offered with the proper fervor, one must certainly put aside all earthly cares and not only worry about, but not even think about, any everyday activity or undertaking.”

And Saint Macarius the Great says this: “When you direct your mind and thoughts to heaven and want to unite with the Lord, then Satan becomes lower than your thoughts. Just as the ancient walls of Jericho fell by the power of God, so now the walls of evil that hinder your mind will be thrown down by the power of God. When standing in prayer, remember Who you stand before! Be deaf and dumb to everything around you, call on the Lord for help, and He will help you. We must uproot every disposition to anger and completely destroy the destructive kindling of carnal lust, no matter where it is directed.”

A person standing in prayer is the same as a warrior on the battlefield: here is a time of acquisition, precious minutes of spiritual purchase for one who resists the enemy and, not heeding his suggestions, strengthens himself in prayer, works, struggles, calling on the Lord as an Ascetic for help. The temptations of the enemy during prayer are countless: at these moments he brings to mind such everyday affairs, the fulfillment of which seems necessary and urgent, and non-fulfillment worries him about important losses. But if you want your prayer to be heard, do not listen to anything; God’s grace will remind you of what you really need even after prayer; but even if it happened to forget something else and suffer from it a failure in everyday affairs, then, since this followed for the sake of God, He, the All-Merciful One, will reward it a hundredfold. During prayer, be deaf, blind and dumb to everything and everyone except God. “The beginning of prayer,” as St. John Climacus writes, “is to drive away thoughts at their very appearance; its middle is that state when our mind is not plundered by thoughts, and the perfection of prayer consists in the admiration of our entire being to God.”

Rising from sleep, your first thought will be thanksgiving to God; Go to sleep with the same thought, having in mind that your bed, perhaps, will become your coffin. Forgiveness of offenses, even the most serious ones, is necessary for success in prayer, remembering the words of the apostle: Let the sun not set on your anger(Eph. 4:26).

The Angel of the Lord revealed to one of the monastics the following form of prayer most pleasing to God: first of all, let us offer sincere thanks to God, then confession of sins and contrition of the soul in feeling, and, finally, let us present all our petitions to the Tsar.

We see from the Holy Gospel that the judge fulfilled the widow’s request, convinced only by her persistence, as did the friend, who at first refused his friend’s request, but when he, without leaving him, continued to beg, he finally gave in to his persistence ( Luke 18:5). With these parables the Lord teaches us how we must act in order to receive what we ask.

Darya Dontsova. Is there anyone in Russia who does not know this name? Unlikely. Dontsova is adored by millions of fans of the detective genre, she is a pill for depression, a lifeline for everyone who is drowning in daily problems, big and not so big. Dontsova is a real fighter who has proven that you need to fight to the end. Having defeated the terrible cancer disease, she embarked on the path of enlightening thousands of people who faced this disaster face to face. Dontsova is believed, just like her fictional characters. Immersing the reader in the world of a detective fairy tale, she extends her hands to everyone who needs moral support. We met with Dasha Dontsova in her warm, hospitable home to talk about the most intimate things on Saturday evening.

Dmitry Kirillov: Your first literary work was about open-hearth furnaces. Is it true?

Darya Dontsova:(Laughter.) Yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: People love fairy tales, and your detective stories are very similar to fairy tales. Maybe you are a storyteller?

Darya Dontsova:Of course, I'm a storyteller.

Dmitry Kirillov: You eat little by little, don’t eat anything harmful, and write interesting cookbooks all the time. This is some form of self-torture simply. No?

Darya Dontsova:No, it's just a love of food and a desire to wear beautiful clothes.

Dmitry Kirillov: You can check the clock on the Spasskaya Tower. Is it true?

Darya Dontsova:Yes, I am a very careful person with my time.

Dmitry Kirillov: Daria Dontsova - is this a medicine for the blues?

Darya Dontsova:I actually call myself a depression pill.

Dmitry Kirillov: Were no dogs harmed in the plots of your books?

Darya Dontsova:It's right. Main character Khuchik has been living in books for, in my opinion, 40 years.

Dmitry Kirillov: Your husband is a famous psychologist, academician, doctor psychological sciences. And at home, in my opinion, he is your client.

Darya Dontsova:At home I am the main psychologist.

Dmitry Kirillov: Has the name of Daria Dontsova been in the Guinness Book of Records for a long time?

Darya Dontsova:Yes it's true. For 100 novels written in 10 years.

Dmitry Kirillov: What is your father famous writer, helped you in life?

Darya Dontsova:Not good. Dad died when I was 19 years old.

Dmitry Kirillov: By writing speed literary texts you have no equal. Do you realize that you are an anomaly?

Darya Dontsova:No, I'm not an anomaly. Balzac wrote very quickly, Alexandre Dumas wrote very quickly, a lot of writers write quickly.

Dmitry Kirillov: There is nothing tastier than French croissants in the world.

Darya Dontsova:No, why? Swiss chocolate is tastier than French croissants.

Dmitry Kirillov: Your production plan is per month according to the book. It was so 20 years ago, now, and so it will be in the future.

Darya Dontsova:Well, I hope so.

Dmitry Kirillov: Do you still dream of falling on the sofa with an unwashed head in a greasy robe at 9 o’clock in the evening and watching the “Time” program? Is this still a dream?

Darya Dontsova:You know, this is an impossible dream. I even stopped dreaming about it.

Dmitry Kirillov: You were on friendly terms with Kataev, Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky, Kaverin, Dementiev, and with a huge number of different classics. This is true?

Darya Dontsova:This is true, but I can't call it "short leg".

Dmitry Kirillov: You were in Syrian Aleppo for three years, and there in Syria one fortune teller predicted your fate very accurately. This is true?

Darya Dontsova: That's right, yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: Having survived a serious illness, you know the value of both time and life. And, in my opinion, in your books and in your life, do you want to somehow convey this to people?

Darya Dontsova:I want to explain to everyone who has been diagnosed with cancer that they don’t have to give up.

Dmitry Kirillov: Dasha, looking at you, you say, “I’m blonde.”

Darya Dontsova: Blonde.

Dmitry Kirillov: When I communicate with you, there is a feeling that you are like, you know, Frau...

Darya Dontsova: Brunette.

Dmitry Kirillov: ...German, very pedantic, very knowledgeable, with her own backbone. And this image of a frivolous blonde crumbles.

Darya Dontsova:Dima, first of all, I didn’t expect you to fall under the influence of the word “blonde”. Blonde is hair color and skin color, but nothing more. And as for the German core - yes, I was raised by a German woman, Rosa Leopoldovna, and the first words in my life, probably, that I heard were “Ordnung, mein Kind o rdnung" ("Order, my child is order").

When you come to visit and take off, say, your shoes, what do you do with the laces?

Dmitry Kirillov: What should I do with the laces?

Darya Dontsova:ABOUT! Rosa Leopoldovna did not teach you. The laces need to be pulled off and placed inside the shoe. God forbid they get dirty.

Again, you came to visit. What will you take off first: your boots or your coat?

Dmitry Kirillov: Probably boots.

Darya Dontsova:Boots? ABOUT! You see, Rosa Leopoldovna would praise you. This is correct so as not to stain the hostess. This German upbringing. When I was a child, being one minute late from school was equivalent to...

Dmitry Kirillov: To be shot.

Darya Dontsova:...simply a state crime. “If you said you would come at 14:12, you should be home at 14:12. Next time, think and say that you will come at 14:15.” ABOUT!

Dmitry Kirillov: I noticed an interesting detail. After all, quite a lot of people write, and they write well.

Darya Dontsova: Yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: But only a few become popular and famous. After all, one of the publishers once saw that what you were writing would be in demand.

Darya Dontsova:I can tell who saw it. My editor Olga Rubis saw me, and the wonderful writer Tatyana Sotnikova, who was a reviewer of my books and a teacher, saw Literary Institute. Tanechka writes under the name Anna Berseneva.

My entry into publishing is a different story. I just looked like a city madwoman, and I would never have taken a manuscript from such a person, because it was a little strange. It was September 6th, my daughter's birthday. Masha told me: “Mom, you should be lucky on this day. Bring the manuscript to the publishing house.” It's hot September, I'm bald, I'm having chemotherapy. Here, you know, I have the remains of my bangs, I put on a beret, and I...

Dmitry Kirillov: To work not this.

Darya Dontsova:Yes. It was cold all the time. That's why I put on my winter coat. And since I lost 15 kg during this whole story, my coat was wrapped three times. This is how I came to the publishing house, holding my daddy here. She entered Olga Rubis’s office and said: “Hello, I brought you a book. Who should I give it to?” She looked at me like that, smiled and said: “Probably for me,” and I gave her this manuscript. And while they were watching it, they called me a month later. I have a bucket, I’m mopping the floor, and there’s a phone here. I pick up the phone, a call from the publishing house: “We have made a positive decision on your book. We will print it. The book is small. Do you have another one?” I screamed: “Yes, there is! Until what time do you work?” I throw the phone into a bucket of water, I don’t understand anything, I grab my coat, shake it out... You know, I had this onion hanging in my shopping bag.

Dmitry Kirillov: In such networks, yes, yes, yes.

Darya Dontsova:Yes. At that time I had six handwritten manuscripts, these are the folders. I stuffed them into this string bag, put my feet in my boots, and the publishing house was literally on the other street, very close to me. I'm running there. I run in, take out the manuscript and say: “Here, I have a manuscript!” Then I think: “Lord, what am I doing?” “Yes, I still have it,” and I dump all these packs on Ole’s table. She has this kind of, you know, something flashes inside her for a second, and she says: “This is all yours, right?” I say: “Mine, mine! I still have it!” She says: “Oh, you carry everything,” and runs out into the corridor. I think: "What happened?" I lower my eyes and realize that I am in my husband’s shoes. I'm scared... You see, taking a manuscript from such a person was a huge risk.

Dmitry Kirillov: Daria, pure city crazy.

Darya Dontsova:The girl is clearly a city madwoman. My appearance at the publishing house for the first two times, people who have worked there since the founding of the publishing house, there were very few of us then, are still remembered very often.

Dontsova, who was included in the Guinness Book of Records a long time ago, is a book-person in herself, and a very useful one, because if up to 700 thousand copies of her works are sold out around the world every month, that says something. Anyway about incredible success, for sure.

Darya Dontsova:A book, if a person is interested in it, can be read in one or two days. There are 30 days in a month. Well, write more, please. Readers are an unplowed field. Another question is that you have to decide who you are writing for: are you writing for yourself or are you writing for people. Make up your mind and everything will be fine then. Both this writer and this writer always have their audience.

Dmitry Kirillov: Of course you write for people.

Darya Dontsova: Yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: Because if you have your own production plan to release a book every month - this amazing story, because after all, you write very quickly.

Darya Dontsova:Writing speed, as I understand it, is genetically determined. This does not affect the quality of the text in any way. I don’t just write quickly - I can’t help but write, that’s why I write a book a month. It's not like plans or anything.

Why 30 pages? They are determined not so that I do not write less, but they are determined so that I do not write more.

I had a case when my family went on vacation to the seaside (I don’t go to the seaside), I stayed at home, and it was summer, I didn’t have filming, I didn’t have work, and by the evening I realized that I had paralyzed right hand. She's hanging. I have a close friend who is a doctor.

Dmitry Kirillov: For no apparent reason, paralyzed, that’s all?

Darya Dontsova:It just hung there, that's all. I called and said: “Oksana, there’s something wrong with my hand.” Oksana arrived immediately; she lives nearby. She looked at my hand and said: “How many pages did you write?” I say: “I don’t know. I sat down in the morning and got up in the evening.” She says: “Well, let’s go and count.” They counted it - 92. She tells me: “It just physically fell off you. You know, she just can’t do it anymore.”

Dmitry Kirillov: Everything I could.

Darya Dontsova:And after that it became 30 pages.

Dmitry Kirillov: And always by hand, right? It is a habit? Comfortable?

Darya Dontsova:Yes. Why should it be uncomfortable?

Dmitry Kirillov: You're all lying down.

Darya Dontsova:No, I'm sitting. Pillows under the back. But in bed, but sitting.

Dmitry Kirillov: Is it comfortable to work in bed?

Darya Dontsova: Of course it's convenient.

Dmitry Kirillov: There is no management.

Darya Dontsova:The authorities? Eat. Own conscience. At the moment of writing there is no word “must”. There is no such word, I just really want it.

Let’s say, on Sunday, going to church for liturgy is necessary. There are some things that are needed. You don't want to do everything. And sometimes it happens that I come to the Marfo-Mariinsky Convent in Moscow, and there is a hospice for terminally ill neurological children. They have parents who understand that the child is dying. And he lies in this hospice. There are absolutely holy nuns there who look after them, and I come there to talk with their parents. I'm going there, the word "I don't want" is not here. But first I get ready in the car for a whole hour so that I can go in with a happy face, and then, when I leave there in three hours, I then cry in this car for a whole hour, because these children are really very hard. There was some kind of holiday to be held at the Marfo-Mariinsky Convent, I made Christmas trees for them, and we had them there for children with cerebral palsy, for children from large families, for the poor - that was a holiday.

Dmitry Kirillov: What happiness it was for them, right?

Darya Dontsova:It was a holiday when they fled. Do you know how much good people around, Dim? I just shouted that we needed gifts. And so many people came running and helped us, and brought gifts to these children. Oh, this is a separate story about human mercy.

Dmitry Kirillov: There are many situations when people even come to you and tell you that everything is bad for them.

Darya Dontsova:Very often. I advise you to turn the bad into the good.

I recently led one meeting, many women were sitting in the hall: “We live badly, we live poorly.” I say: “Girls, do you live in boxes on the street, in the rain?” They are silent. I say: “Here you are sitting, so beautiful, all with hairstyles, makeup, and gold rings. What’s wrong with you? Is someone on the street living in a box?” You don’t need to look where it’s better, you need to look where it’s worse. A happy man is done when he does not want what he does not have, but rejoices in what he has.

Dmitry Kirillov: There are many people who are structured this way, who always see that “It’s better there.”

Darya Dontsova:No, these are few people, but there are, yes. I feel very sorry for them. In general, I feel very sorry for people who say nasty things. I usually get lost. It happens that a person begins to tell you something unpleasant. I...well, "God help you." What more can I say?

Dmitry Kirillov: What situations are there when a person can say something unpleasant to you? What could this be? I don't even believe it. Are there really such people?

Darya Dontsova:Different things happen. Let's say that the team writes for me.

Dmitry Kirillov: They've been talking about this for years now.

Darya Dontsova:Yes, but the team keeps writing and writing. Adjacent, after all. I now started saying that pugs write for me. Every time I say: “Pugs write for me,” that’s the whole conversation. At first, of course, it was somehow not very pleasant. But I really went and talked to the priest, he told me so quickly... Father Alexander is very good at helping me think, and Mother Elizabeth will do it even better. Therefore, I have two ways to run if something happens.

Dmitry Kirillov: And at home, if anything, do you always tell your husband certain things too?

Darya Dontsova:No, I won't upset my husband. I won’t do this simply because even without me, his head is filled with a huge number of work problems, so all the problems at home, related to children, grandchildren, housekeeping, they all fall apart on me. And the children know that they don’t have to go to dad and hang all sorts of nonsense on his head - hang it on me. And we quickly...

Dmitry Kirillov: Mom will survive.

Darya Dontsova:No, I will simply solve this situation if it requires a solution. They know this from childhood.

The history of the Vasiliev family is true detective, which life itself presented to Dasha. Who was her father? A writer? Yes. Or maybe an intelligence officer or a statesman? In any case, not everyone in the USSR was allowed to change their wife’s age in their passport.

Darya Dontsova:Mom changed her age. It was very funny. And once I remember very well how dad told her when mom was in Once again she came up to him and said something like this, dad told her: “Tomochka, there are two reasons why I don’t recommend changing the age in your passport again. First, I’ll turn out to be a child molester, I’m not very pleased with that. And secondly, your age will coincide with your party experience, and this is absolutely no good.” It was impossible to change anything in party documents.

I have boxes at home. When dad died, mom put his notebooks in one big box. She couldn’t throw it away, and I couldn’t either, but this box wasn’t taken apart. And we climbed into this box.

To begin with, we found there a pension book for an employee of the Cheka, issued in 1920 due to injury, for a year's pension. And dad always said that it was from 1907. There was already a discrepancy. Dad always said that he had two classes at TsPSh (parochial school), and he always laughed. But he was a very literate person. A certificate of graduation from the Naval Academy in St. Petersburg dropped out. He had a higher education.

The notebook fell out. I started leafing through it, there were entries for German. I speak German fluently, better than Russian. I am reading. I understand that it was done a very long time ago. The letter "esset" (ß), it had not yet been abolished, but in general the spelling is old, and part of it is written in Gothic. The graphologist said: “Oh, the man not only wrote in German, he thought in it.” I understand, yes, how did dad turn out to be an ethnic German? That's it. I began to think: “And Rosa Leopoldovna, was she a nanny?” I don’t know anything here anymore. There was no one left alive.

But I didn’t know dad well. Dad died when I was 19 years old. Why didn't it occur to me? My father, a writer, not the most famous, died. Dad is buried on Novodevichy Cemetery, his closest friend Semyon Kuzmich Tsvigun, Andropov’s first deputy, will then lie in the next grave. If only something had clicked in my head. Nothing clicked for me. It didn’t click for me, even when we arrived home, the picture was removed and there was a hole in the wall, the safe was taken out. Nothing clicked for me. Why did dad have a Kremlin phone? The writer should not have had it.

A man who was a very close friend of my dad is still alive. I haven't called him for many years. He is now a very big businessman, he is a very old man. I didn’t have his phone number, I called the receptionist and said: “Hello.” I never do that, but there was simply nowhere to go. I say: “You know, my name is the writer Daria Dontsova. Could you tell me when you can sign me up for a conversation?”, She said: “Just a minute,” and immediately connected me. I think: “How interesting! Maybe he somehow...”. I didn’t think the person remembered me. I pick up the phone and say: “Hello, (patronymic name).” They answered me: “Oh, hello, Grunya. And I keep thinking, when will you finally remember about me, about the old man? I watch everything about you on TV.”

I arrived and started asking: “What about dad, who is dad?” He looked at me like that and said: “Baby, what do you know about your dad?” I say: “My dad was a writer, a party functionary, a deputy of the Supreme Council, a member of the Central Committee. I know all this.” He says: “So you know.”

Dmitry Kirillov: It's enough.

Darya Dontsova:He said, "You've had enough of this." Dad died when I was nine months pregnant. Arkasha was born on the 40th day after his death, and there was a completely mystical moment. When I gave birth, I lay with my feet towards the window. The light was obviously for the doctor (I realized later). And for some reason it started snowing on September 29th. And at that moment, when the midwife takes out the child, a dove begins to beat on the glass, and a very elderly midwife says: “The soul has arrived.”

Dmitry Kirillov: Has it become harder without him? I just know that for some period it was quite bad for you.

Darya Dontsova:Of course, it was hard for me. It was hard for me financially, it was hard for me mentally. On the other hand, I was very lucky. There was a dental clinic under my house. But it was impossible to get a job somewhere without work book, especially with two jobs. And I enrolled my grandmother there. The head physician was very good. He came towards me.

Dmitry Kirillov: Is it like grandma is working?

Darya Dontsova:Yes. And I worked. They paid very well there. I was so pleased, you can’t imagine. I was very lucky.

For some reason, at the post office back then you could dangle balls of rope at night.

Dmitry Kirillov: And they paid for it?

Darya Dontsova:Yes, they paid very well for it, based on weight. If you sit there all night, you'll waste it. You just got a lot of money. Sometimes you could get three rubles. You know, it was serious money.

Dmitry Kirillov: And then winter came?

Darya Dontsova:Yes, then winter came. I had a friend Natasha. There she had certain troubles, she had nowhere to live, and we lived together in my two-room apartment: she, I and Arkasha. It’s like I have a child and a job, but Natalya has the earth burning under her feet, she always has some kind of romance, some people revolve around her, Natalya either went there or went here. But Arkady doesn’t winter coat, it's already cold. There is no hat, no coat. This is my pain, I don’t know where to get this coat or hat. And then Natalya says to me: “Listen, you know, New Year soon, - there is a Leningrad market near our house, - I was walking along the Leningrad market, two Uzbeks came up to me: “We have nowhere to celebrate the New Year, and you are a beautiful girl.” And I thought: “Hmm, let them give me money for Arkady’s coat, and we’ll celebrate the New Year with them.” I became so quiet and said, “Natasha, it would be nice to just celebrate the New Year. But somehow, probably, all this will not end with the New Year.”

Dmitry Kirillov: Some kind of barter is needed.

Darya Dontsova:She says: “What, is it difficult for me? For Arkasha’s coat. It’s okay, we’ll trample. I’ve already agreed with them. And the money, everything will be fine with us, everything will be wonderful with us.” Well, I think: “Okay. Really, I need a coat. Okay, good.” Natasha comes running and actually brings money. Oh, naive Uzbeks.

Dmitry Kirillov: Prepaid expense.

Darya Dontsova:It actually brings money, it brings everything. I leave for work, come back from work - Arkady has a new coat (they bought it in children's world), new hat, everything is fine. 31th of December. And then we turned sour. There is a coat, Arkady is dressed, everything is fine, he is warm, but he will have to work out. We sat with her and sat. Then Natasha says: “Listen, it’s somehow not good like this. Yes, it’s somehow generally indecent and ill-mannered. Listen, let’s go to my friends to celebrate the New Year.” I say: “What about the Uzbeks?” She says: “Yes, we will lock the door and leave.” And we left. And then one fine day, quite a lot of time had passed, Natasha and I were walking, and some man approached. Natasha says: “Oh, hello.” He says: “What a minx you are!”, and left. All.

Dmitry Kirillov: Do you call yourself a depression pill?

Darya Dontsova: Yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: Every book still has some kind of good, bright ending, in general.

Darya Dontsova: Necessarily.

Dmitry Kirillov: And it turns out that we find ourselves in some kind of fairy tale.

Darya Dontsova: Yes.

Dmitry Kirillov: Do you think people need fairy tales? What are they looking for, what do they find in these books?

Darya Dontsova:Everything bad that happens to us happens for our good. My husband, my loved one, left, abandoned, cheated. At this moment, when he left you, abandoned you and changed you, there was horror in your eyes, black. The person begins to cry and does not understand what is happening. There is no worse condition. Terrible. But five years later, walking down the street with another person who is much better than that husband who left, and loving him with all her heart, she understands very well that he was not true love that husband Here it is, this love. And she would not have come if her husband had not left. And some people need, you know, a lot of shaking in order for them to change for the better.

I left 20 s extra years ago to the 62nd hospital to die. When they drove me to the gate, I thought that was it. No. Do you understand? Obviously, I needed this experience in order to somehow change. Any trouble should change us, but only for the better.

You won't get bored with Dasha. She is always friendly and open to the world, and the world smiles back at her. She does not pay attention to envy and anger, to the fact that there are still people who continue to accuse her of using labor to write their novels. But Dasha has long learned not to react to poor criticism, she knows how precious time is and is not going to waste it. She still writes a lot, and hopes not to let her fans down in the future.

Dmitry Kirillov: Understanding that every day you try not to live idly, but to do something in time, what else do you want?

Darya Dontsova:What else do you want? Oh, I want a lot of things. Well, naturally, write more books. Now on one channel there is a ready-made script that has been ordered. They ordered it for me, I wrote it. I want the film to finally start filming based on this script. We haven't had anything on this topic yet. I really hope everything works out. It's like two things you want.

I have two granddaughters Nastya and Arina, but they are already adults. And now I have Mishenka. He is one year and five months old now, Mishanechka. I still want a girl. Of course, I don’t tell my daughter anything. Well, not a girl, but the boy is also still small.

Dmitry Kirillov: You so generously share your warmth with people that you really want them to give you this warmth too.

Darya Dontsova:I don’t share such a huge amount of heat at all. I actually don't have much of it. This is what I regret, that such sincere love is not enough, in fact. I really want to learn it. What do you want? I would like to have a very strong faith in the Lord, the gift of prayer and love for people. I really want to have this, but I’m still just learning.

“In front of the camera, the tooth fell out again. We stuck it on the gum and continued filming. The tooth was lost all the time back then,” says Daria Dontsova.

“Oh, that was very funny.” It was unexpected to hear this from Daria Dontsova in a conversation about breast cancer, which she survived. But famous writer detectives believes that whining in the fight against cancer is harmful and inappropriate.

“You should see an oncologist”

I found out about my oncology by accident. I have felt discomfort in the chest area for a long time, but... special significance I didn’t attach any importance to this. I went on vacation to Tunisia with my family and a friend who is a surgeon. I remember we were standing in a booth, changing clothes, and then a friend asked: “What is this?” I answer with a laugh: “In my old age, my bust has grown, can you imagine? I was always minus the first size, and then suddenly such wealth arrived!” I see her face has changed: “We urgently need to fly to Moscow, immediately!” But I stayed. I have a husband and child here. How can I leave, I soviet woman. Once you come to rest, you can’t let your family down...

In Moscow, too, I didn’t rush to see a doctor: I thought it was just mastopathy. And then I woke up in the morning and saw bloody stains on the pillow. I should have called that same surgeon friend so that she could advise which doctor to go to, but I’m smarter than everyone else! I went to the district clinic. I showed up to the doctor, who, looking away, said: “You should see an oncologist.” I went to the doctor to whom I was referred. An uncle of about 50 years old is sitting. “Oh, girl, what village did you come from?” - “I’m a Muscovite.” “Why, you, Muscovite, never went for examination? You have three months left to live. The fourth stage of oncology. Everything is very bad, no one will undertake the operation. Unless I decide. But you need to pay this much to the anesthesiologist, this much to the older sister, this much is the cost of chemotherapy, this much radiation, this much, this much...” The amounts fell on me like stones. My husband and I don’t have that kind of money. Sell ​​the apartment?!

“Marry my husband!”

I left the hospital, sat at the bus stop and roared. What should I do now? The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining, everyone will live, but I will not be there. I cried and cried, then I thought: “I have three children, two grandmothers, a pack of dogs and cats. Grandmothers - mother and mother-in-law - of course, are good, but God forbid, their characters are just a nightmare. Who can stand my old women? Yes, no one, no one to give them to. My husband is 47 years old, Doctor of Science, professor, he won’t remain a widower for long, someone will marry him right away. What about children? Okay boys, they're almost adults. But Masha is 10 years old, how can she be without a mother? What will happen to the dogs and cats? It became so sour. We need to find some way out, I think. Do you know what came to mind? I remembered everything about the same surgeon-friend Oksana. She is not married, she cooks well, her son is my Masha’s best friend. She needs to marry my husband! I got on the bus and went to see her. Tears are dripping, snot is flowing, the handkerchief is wet... The conductor looked at me and didn’t even take the money. She probably thought: “Oh, this is bad, my aunt got stuck at the “Oncological Hospital” stop.”

I entered my friend’s apartment and declared from the threshold: “You must marry my husband.” We must give her credit, Oksana instantly replied: “Of course! Just explain the reason." I told you everything. She exploded: “This doctor is an idiot, they don’t draw any conclusions without tests, he scams patients out of money! Scoundrel!

And she gave me the phone number Igor Anatolyevich Groshev, with whom I once worked together. Of course, I immediately rushed to him, saw my dear young man, who after the examination told me: “I can’t say that we see a pleasant picture here, but we will be treated.” - “So, don’t die?” - I ask. "Everyone will die, but you - obviously not now." These words had a very good effect on me then. But I left the hospital and started crying again. The worst thoughts were spinning in my head... What will happen if I die? And then... Just don't laugh! A week before I found out about the disease, I hung curtains in the house. I chose dark burgundy beautiful material, I sewed it myself. But my children and husband criticized me: it became very dark in the rooms, the curtains need to be changed. Naturally, I was indignant: “No, I won’t take it off!” And for several days we had the same conversation in our house: everyone in my family said: “Mom, give us back the old curtains.” I’m driving after meeting Groshev and thinking: “After my death, my husband will get married, a woman will come to the house, she will take off my curtains.” And I got so angry! Immediately the tears dried up, I decided: “We have to do something. They promised me: I won’t die. That’s why I’ll fight.”

I was treated at Hospital No. 69, free of charge. She has undergone several operations. Two large ones, several hours each. When they start telling me that all this is impossible to endure because of the pain, it’s so funny. You're sleeping under anesthesia, you don't feel anything. And the postoperative period is also not painful. But there’s a little trouble: your arm can’t rise afterwards because the lymph node is removed. Some of the women complain: “I had a breast amputation many years ago, you see, my arm is hanging, you understand how badly they operated on me.” As a rule, I answer: “The doctor did everything well, the arm just needs to be worked out, done special exercises. This is unpleasant, but if you are lazy, you will be disabled. There’s no need to feel sorry for yourself, it hinders your recovery.”

“I’m being hunted like a rat!” - I thought"

After chemotherapy, as a rule, I feel nauseous. I have a book called "My Husband's Wife" written on the toilet. It was the third or fourth chemo, and I didn’t feel very well, to put it mildly. Our apartment in a Stalinist building had a large bathroom, where I sat on a bench and wrote a novel. When I felt bad, I put down my pen, lifted the toilet lid, then closed it and sat down on the bench again to write a book. I was afraid to go far.

When you go through chemotherapy, you get tired. “Chemistry” is poison, but you can’t live without it; it kills “bad” cells, which after surgery can spread throughout the body through the bloodstream. Chemotherapy is our chance for life. When people refuse such treatment, it is such stupidity! You are losing the opportunity to recover. I remember there was funny situation. I took a course of medication called cyclophosphamide. I went to the flower shop to buy pots for plants. I see near the entrance a huge bag with the inscription: “Cyclophosphamide, poison for fighting garden rodents.” I thought: “Oh-oh-oh! I’m being hunted like a rat, how interesting!”

Because of the chemotherapy, just the sight of food made me sick. All the time. Every minute. It was much more unpleasant than losing my hair. They usually fall out slowly. And I woke up one morning and felt like my head was somehow cold. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror: “Who is this?” For a second it seemed like someone I didn’t know had entered. And then I understand: I’m bald. How should I react to this? The bathroom is open, my daughter rushes in and says in surprise: “Ahhhhh...” Enters middle son Dima looks at me silently. I finally found something to say: “I should probably put on a headscarf and go to work.” At this moment, Masha, who was 11 years old, is carried away somewhere. 10 minutes later he comes running with a wig, they were then selling them near our house in underground passage. My daughter pulls a wig on me and says: “Mom, you are beautiful!” Dima is standing behind: “Mom, you are the best!” And at that time we had a dog, a black poodle... I looked at myself in the mirror, and Cherry was looking at me from there. In any case, our “hairstyles” were exactly the same. It's hot, summer... I went to work. And a wig is a warm hat. The subway is stuffy, the wig is synthetic, poor quality, shiny, terrible... At some point I understand: I’m about to faint. I took off my hair and put it in my bag. The people who were sitting nearby were dumbfounded. I think they will remember me for the rest of their lives.

My hair fell out unevenly and stuck out like bushes. My husband and I had a friend Volodya Tsekhnovicher, candidate of psychological sciences. And his wife is a hairdresser. I asked her to come and do something about my terrible head. What could be done with it? Just shave with a clipper. And here I am sitting in the bathroom, Katya turned her friend’s head into a billiard ball, and at that moment the door opens, Vovka appears, who knows nothing. She sees me bald, Katya with a typewriter, says three words that cannot be printed in a newspaper, and shouts: “O-o-o, stupid little girl, what did you do to her?!” This phrase has remained in our everyday life forever. I sometimes jokingly say to my friend: “Katka, you stupid petty girl, why did you do some nonsense again?”

When I was preparing to publish my first novel, it turned out that I needed a photograph for the cover. (Shows a book.) Admire this mummy. I weigh 32 or 33 kilos here, and I have dark hair. I've never been a brunette. An artist drew this hairstyle for me. It’s a little shocking to place a photo of a bald girl on the cover of a book...

You see, today I have a mane again. Most people's hair becomes better after chemotherapy, and some even start to curl. I kept waiting for me to have curls, but no, it didn’t work out.

And let the cancer choke!

I took hormones for 10 years. Because of the therapy, weight problems began. I can’t tell you how hungry I was, no, to eat! There was a period when I gained a kilogram per week. Before the operation, I weighed 45 kg, and then suddenly the scales showed 60. I realized: in a year it will become 72, and then 82. Something needs to be done. I removed half the food and left one instead of two cutlets. The weight fell, that was such a joy! And then the body got used to this diet - and the scale arrow began to move to the right again. I forgot about sweets, flour, fatty foods, potatoes, butter, cottage cheese. Then about everything else. In the end, I was left with a leaf of lettuce and half a zucchini. But she continued to gain weight! And then I went to fitness. I told the coach about my diagnosis and weight problems. Instructor Maxim started chasing me like a bug. And he still races, for more than 10 years. The weight gradually dropped off, and now I still weigh my 45 kg. I don’t want to say that it was easy for me, I went to the pastry department of the supermarket to smell the cakes. One time I look at the window and dream: “I’ll buy it and eat it around the corner. Nobody will see." And then a hundred-kilogram aunt pulls up to the counter: “I’ll have these 10 pieces, these 10.” I looked at her and decided: “No, I won’t eat potatoes.” And now I just don’t want sweets anymore.

Complexes about your appearance? There weren't any. There were problems that needed to be solved. For example, trouble started with my teeth. And for 5 years I was banned from using prosthetics - after radiation therapy I had poor blood clotting. The dentist came up with some things for me with screws that were used to secure the artificial teeth. I come to television to film. My front tooth falls out in front of the camera. I run to the dressing room: “Do something!” And they attach my tooth to chewing gum. Fortunately, after a few years, the doctor allowed me to put crowns.

Hair, teeth and weight are really nonsense. It is not important. The main thing is to understand that you can fight cancer and live quite comfortably. If you were told “oncology”, this does not mean that the next station is “crematorium”.

I admit, I was also in a depressed mood for some time due to my illness. But it turned out to be even more difficult for my entire family: a sobbing creature was walking around the house, reacting inappropriately to words. First “chemistry”, then hormones in the best possible way influenced my character... And then it became clear: I must not turn into a professional patient, otherwise cancer will eat me. There is no need to moan: “Why did this happen to me?” We need to understand WHY! Moreover, my illness is my luck! Because she is a chance to rethink and correct your life. I decided to continue to live cheerful and happy. I realized that I need to fight my own emotions, they can be controlled like arms and legs.

“You got rid of the traitor!”

I was lucky with the surgeon. Nothing can be brought into the intensive care unit for reasons of sterility. They usually stay there for 3-4 days, maximum - a week. And I settled in this block. Since several operations were planned and they were happening one after another, they decided not to take the sick Dontsova out of this ward at all. I was such a beauty: covered in tubes. After all, intensive care is not divided into male and female... I was unlucky: there were men lying next to me, whining endlessly. They opened their eyes in the morning and moaned: “We are going to die. We have pain there, we have pain here.” I'm so tired of them! I looked at them sideways and sideways, and then I said: “Guys, you will definitely die. I know a hundred pounds that it will be so - because you have already given up. But I’m not going to the next world.” All day long I dreamed: if only these terrible whiners would be taken away from me. I had to distract myself somehow... I complained to Igor Anatolyevich, my surgeon. And he told my husband: “Your wife is not very comfortable right now. Maybe you can come up with something? Alexander Ivanovich came home, grabbed the first children’s book he came across from the shelf so that it would serve as a “writing desk” for me, took a pack of paper, a pen and brought it all to the intensive care unit with the words: “You’ve dreamed of writing a book all your life.”

I sit and think: how do people write books? They probably start with the first phrase... The hand itself scribbled: “I got married many times.” And away we went, I just couldn’t stop. I left the hospital with three manuscripts.

And about those whiners... I recently talked with a major oncologist - we discussed charity program. I asked, “Why do some people die from cancer while others are cured?” He boiled and pointed to the long corridor in his hospital: “Yes, in my department there are a lot of people who are dying because they are sure that they will die.”

And my husband, Doctor of Psychology, professor and academician, says this: “If in our society it was considered shameful (as it is shameful, for example, to walk naked down the street) to die before the age of 150, then we would all live more than 150.” years!" Everything is inside our head.

I now wear a prosthesis instead of a breast. Yes, you can make silicone implants, but I fundamentally abandoned this idea. My body already has enough surgical interventions. I really can’t understand the hype around a woman’s bust! Why does it have to be huge? Women often come up to me: “I had my breast amputated, and after the operation my husband left me, now I’m ugly, he couldn’t sleep in the same bed with me, he ran away.” I always answer: “Rejoice, you got rid of the traitor, there will be new love in your life.”

How did my husband react to my new body? Firstly, Alexander Ivanovich professional psychologist, secondly, he loves me very much. For us, the absence or presence of the bust does not matter; the main thing is that I remained alive.

“Healers” should be driven away!”

I always say: people, please learn from my stupidity! If I had seen a doctor earlier, had cancer diagnosed initial stage, many unpleasant sensations could have been avoided. You need to go to the doctors at least once a year. The first stage of breast cancer is cured in 98.5% of cases - this is more than with the flu. Just don’t go to psychics, grandmothers, or healers. How many times have I heard: drink kerosene - it helps a lot against cancer. Or eat chicken rotten eggs buried under a bush. I won't tell you everything" secret methods”, which are used by crooks to “treat” cancer. Such “healers,” in my opinion, should be severely punished, because they are, in essence, murderers. Once, I, a completely non-aggressive person, beat a similar “healer” on a recording of a famous TV show. This man began to say: “chemistry” is poisoning and killing us, but we just need to correct the aura, we will be treated by laying on of hands. And he started waving his arms... That’s when I hit him on the top of the head with the microphone!

I really don't like to say the words, “Look at me,” but right now they are appropriate. I am the same as millions of women in our country, I have the same sorrows and joys with you. And as an anatomical organism, I am similar to others, my liver, lungs, kidneys and heart work like other people. I am the same as you, both mentally and physically. Look at me, take my example. If I, who is so similar to you, managed to recover from cancer, what is stopping you from defeating cancer? Never give up!