Thieves questions. What questions are asked to a newcomer in a Russian prison?

In the cells of juveniles and first-time prisoners, there is a rather aggressive public, familiar with prison law only by hearsay. But not every repeat offender knows this law fully. The pioneers usually understand prison law as the power of the physically stronger over the weaker. And they begin to play in prison, thinking that they are fulfilling its law, and not knowing that they are breaking this law and will someday pay cruelly for it. How do they play? They bully newbies. Registration is most often carried out in such cells.

If they don’t do anything particularly cruel during registration, then it’s more like a game. It is widespread mainly in “young children”, and in “adults” (that is, in cells for adults), the same youth usually prescribe their own peers. At the same time, there are some restrictions: you cannot register “microns” - those who have not turned 16 - and prisoners over the age of thirty, those who have suffered greatly, who came to the cell severely beaten, too. As, of course, those who are not on their first trip.

- And how do they prescribe?

They force you to solve different riddles. Diving from bunks, hitting your head against a wall with a running start, and so on - all this is called “gags”. There are several hundred such jokes, you can’t remember them all, and every generation of prisoners adds something of their own to what is known... For example, they throw a broom at you: “Play the balalaika.” You gotta throw it back: "Tune the strings." They lead you to the battery: “Play the harmonica.” You answer: “Spread the furs.” They are having a “wedding”: “What will you drink: wine, vodka, champagne?” You answer: “Wine.” They will pour you a mug of water - drink. They will ask the same thing again. You answer: “Vodka.” They will pour a full mug again - drink. And so they will pour it, and you will drink until you say to the toastmaster: “The same as you.” And other nonsense. This is where your intelligence is tested not so much as your knowledge. You know the jokes - yours. But these are, of course, trifles. They can arrange a more serious test: they will blindfold you, put you on the top bunk, tie your scrotum to it: “Jump.” If you don’t jump, you become cowardly and you’ll sign your own death sentence. If you jump, it turns out it’s no big deal, they tied you with a thread, which broke right away, although you didn’t see it, and out of fear you thought it was a rope. Or: “What do you want to become - a pilot or a tanker? - A pilot. - Jump upside down.” You jump and they catch you. They should at least catch you, because if you crash, they will hold you accountable for it. Or, in camp jargon, they will be “presented” with it.

Registration has another meaning. The first acquaintance with a prison can simply kill any first-timer and drive him crazy - it’s so hard. In the first hours of captivity, a person is in shock. And registration distracts him from this state, makes him actively involved in new life. Well, the camera will better know what kind of person you are: rotten - not rotten, weak in spirit - strong (“spiritual”), cheerful - gloomy, selfish or ready to suffer when necessary, for society, etc. But in general, registration with correct concepts is not approved, because the game there often turns into mockery. The “lowered” ones (we will talk about them later) most often end up in pre-trial detention centers, not in the zones.

Nowadays, in general, registration for newcomers is less often arranged than before. Especially in a normal cell.

- What is a “normal camera”?

One in which it is not the power of the fist that reigns, but the prison law. This law is very harsh, but it is fair. In the part that concerns the meeting of new prisoners, it says: prison is your home. A man came - first of all, say hello to him. Don’t pester him with questions: why was he imprisoned, how was it?.. Tell him about the rules of the prison and cell, give him space, warn him about what not to do. The lads - that is, the inhabitants of the cell - must tell the new person everything, show everything, and only after that ask for violations of prison law, if he allows such violations. A person who has just returned from freedom, according to the prison law (which is also called “correct concepts”, “correct life”), is clean. In freedom, he could be anyone and do anything, but here he begins a new life. He is a baby, and there is no demand from him. This is the “number one” rule - you cannot ask a person for violating a norm that he does not know about. And my advice to you: if you get there, start a new life immediately. Consider that if you are ever destined to be released, it will be a gift of fate. But your main life will now be spent in prison. And how it goes further depends 90% on your first steps.

- What other procedures are there in a normal cell?

In prison, prisoners often say to each other not “cell”, but “hut”. The neighbors in the exercise yard will knock on the wall: “Hey, guys, what kind of hut is this?... And before, what hut was he in, who do you know?” That is, even this wretched living space is perceived as a home, it becomes settled. Even if you are sitting in solitary confinement, after a few days you have already settled into it, you know where everything is, and the whole space seems to be spiritualized. After an interrogation or a call, you walk into the cell and feel a sense of home.

So, in prison terms, a normal hut will sound like this: a proper hut. And the rules in the right house are basically the same as in the right people free. I came from a long distance, that is, from the toilet - wash your hands. When you sit down at the table, take off your lepen (jacket). When someone is eating, one should not use a bucket. When everyone listens to music or some kind of program, too. You can't whistle - you'll whistle the deadline. You cannot wash dirty linen in public, that is, tell other cameras about what is happening in your house without any special need.

You don't owe anything to anyone. Nothing can be taken away from you - especially when it comes to rations “from the owner”. And even asking you for something is considered dishonest.

Another point is cleaning the camera. In prison there is the same order as in the army - the young guys scrub the floor, but the grandfathers go crazy - no. Everyone must take turns cleaning the cell, absolutely everyone. A former cellmate of the famous thief Vasya Brilliant told me that he cleaned his cell and washed the bucket just like everyone else. And when someone asked him a question about this, he explained that according to prison law it is considered shameful to do something for another, to serve another, and a person must clean up after himself. “Now, if I could fly,” said Vasya Brilliant, “then it would be a different matter. And since I walk on the floor, why don’t I sweep it?” No one has the right to force you to remove your cell out of turn as a punishment either. The jailers have such a right, and you are brothers, that is, brothers to each other.

If you end up in the wrong cell, where nothing is explained to you, and you see a man lying under a bunk or by the bucket, with whom no one is talking, do not approach him. In general, at first, take a closer look at what is happening around you. Look closely, keep quiet, do the same as everyone else. And just like everyone else. Even if it seems abnormal or funny to you.

As for controversial issues, they must be resolved peacefully. There should be no fights or insults among the lads - this is also required by correct concepts. As a last resort, there is access to other cameras to resolve controversial issues. Ask them what is possible and what is not.

- How do we ask them?

In prisons people show fantastic ingenuity. Make a fire by friction or from a light bulb, saw through a grate with a boot, cook chifir in a newspaper, throw a note on the next street - they can do it all. They will make everything out of nothing, if only there was time. There is communication between cells in any prison, but it is not organized in the same way everywhere. The simplest thing, when the inspector has moved further away from the door, is to simply shout through the bars (“from tails”): such and such a hut... True, in a pre-trial detention center, inter-cell communication is one of the most serious violations of the detention regime...

You can do this: you pump out the water in the toilet with a broom or rag: the sewer pipe is like a telephone. Through it, with a certain skill, you can transfer anything: tea, cigarettes, notes. You can take a mug, put it on the heating pipe and shout into it everything you need - in other cells they will hear through the same mug and take note, or pass it on. You can launch a “horse”: you make a fishing rod out of a newspaper tube and thread, tie a note with an address to it and drop it behind bars - they’ll catch you below. You can just knock. Thirty letters of the Russian alphabet are taken, without soft and hard signs and “ё”. You place them vertically in a “cage” - five cells high, six wide. The letters in this cell are numbered: from 1 to 5 down and from 1 to 6 to the right. In this alphabet, “a” will be transmitted like this: one blow - pause - one blow; “k” - two beats - pause - five beats, etc. If you and your interlocutor know Morse code, there are no problems at all. It is pointless to describe all possible methods.

It’s better not to try, it’s the same as learning “to be like Stirlitz.” Maybe not right away, but such an attempt will definitely end badly. Prison sharpens intuition, people there always feel when you are lying - this is the first thing. Secondly, it’s easy to pretend in the wild, because there you pretend for an hour, two, well, a day. And in prison you are visible around the clock. The most brilliant actor cannot live on stage all the time. He needs rest, otherwise he will make mistake after mistake. Thirdly, knowing fenya is not enough to find mutual language with experienced prisoners. Gestures, hints, certain habits, and demeanor are important here. And what was shown in “Gentlemen of Fortune” is, of course, fantastic even at its core. The thief's double cannot impersonate him if he himself was not imprisoned. The first prisoner with camp experience will split him.

Quite the contrary, it would be better if the prisoners themselves played the prisoners in the movies. One of our best film directors, Alexey German, understands this. In his film “Road Check,” real prisoners played prisoners of war. And the guards of the prisoners of war were also played by professionals - our own, our own jailers. By the way, the prisoners filmed there voluntarily, with the blessing of the camp authorities.

- By the way, about “Gentlemen”. Is it true that a tattoo is a prisoner's passport? Are they made by force?

Until recently this was the case. By the number of domes of the church, gouged out on the chest, you can count the number of “walkers” (previously it was the number of years served). If a cat in boots is depicted, then the owner of the tattoo is a pickpocket, if the circle with a dot inside is on the forearm or above the upper lip, it is lowered, etc. And tattoos that did not correspond to reality were punished. And they forcibly branded the same ones who were omitted. But all this was before. Nowadays professionals don’t do tattoos at all - why do they need additional special signs? And roosters are not branded either - you can already see them a mile away. So tattooing is usually voluntary. Unlike our passport system.

Another example of a non-standard post that OFFICEPLANKTON likes to pamper its readers with.

A collection of very unusual riddles with a catch for a law-abiding citizen. IN certain places Based on your answer, your future fate may happen. I often encountered similar prison puzzles during my youth. Prison puzzles are usually given to newcomers to the cell for fun, but the prison puzzle itself and the answer to it will tell the cellmates a lot about the newcomer. In the future, cellmates treat a person based on how he responded to tricky questions.

We ask impressionable people, people under 18 years of age, and people with unstable mental health not to read this material. Contains profanity.

The convicts themselves are a very inventive people. And even if the prisoner was a computer specialist in freedom, then in places of deprivation of liberty he may open hidden talents in invention. For example, prisoners skillfully know how to adapt to a difficult life thanks to their ingenuity and from scrap materials. With the help of inventions, prisoners can boil water or light a cigarette.

1 Two chairs (classic):

There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharp, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down the f*cks, sit down myself and imprison my mother.
Answer #2: I’ll sit on the peaks myself, and put my mother on my knees.

2 Parachute:

You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest of shit, on the left is a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit?
Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.

3 Pit:

You fell into a hole. There's a pie and a dick in the pit. What will you eat, what will you put in your mouth?
Answer: I'll take the pie and crawl out of the hole.

4 *opa or mother?

Will you give it to F*ck or sell your mother?
Answer: Ass is not given, mother is not for sale.

5 Fork:

Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?
Answer: And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer #2: I don't see any one-eyed people here.

6 Soap or bread?

What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap dish, the bucket is not a bread bin.

7 About the Sahara:

You and Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. There is no housing or settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the kent and bites him on the dick. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the kent has a butt above his knee, then the snake will not reach him. If it’s lower, he’ll suck it himself.
Answer #2: Today it’s a kent, and tomorrow it’s a cop.

8 About the train:

You are riding on a train, chained to levers that can be turned either left or right. There is a fork ahead - on the right the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, who will you run over?
Answer: Today they are kents, tomorrow they are cops.
The answer to all the riddles above: I will wake up.

9 About bones:

The prisoner sits on the shkonar, they open the feeding trough and give gruel and dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.

10 About roosters:

There lived two roosters, one was eaten before lunch, and the other after lunch, who was worse?
Answer: Those who already have it worse.

11 Football:

They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.

12 Broom:

They give you a broom and say: “Play something on the guitar.” What will you do?
Answer: Give me the broom with the words “And you set the mood first”

13 Sew up the bottle:

They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.

14 Bayan:

They ask you to play the battery, like a button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to blow the furs.
And if you are interested in what life is like in prison, we can offer some rather unusual and interesting stories about life in prison.

15 They sent a man to prison for 9 years:

The man was sent to prison for a strict 9 years. One day his godfather (prison warden) tells him, if you solve the riddle within 9 years, I’ll let you go, well, the man agreed and the warden said:
A 9 letter word, found in every home, ending in “zor”, but not TV. The man thought and thought for 9 long years and still couldn’t guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer: TV. The question is not about what the jailer wished for, but about the object, about the cat. The man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw it at home. And if you read the conditions, you can understand this.

16 A convict escaped from prison on the island:

An island in the ocean. There is a prison on the island, there is water all around. A convict escaped from prison, climbed over the wall, jumped into a motor boat and rowed with all his might. The guards jumped into a faster motorboat and chased after him. They caught up with me, twisted me, grabbed me by the hair, slammed my head against the side, and took me back to prison. There are 3 inconsistencies in this story.
Answer:
1. A wall is not needed in the open ocean
2. Why row a motorboat with oars if you have a motor?
3. The convicts are still bald

The young guy told what riddles fellow inmates in prison tell a newcomer.

ATTENTION! For Android smartphone owners there is a bonus at the end of the article!

This prison game is a famous registration, it scares green prisoners even earlier, even in the pre-trial detention cells of the police, where there is always an experienced or simply talkative neighbor who wants to scare. Usually such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will let you know what applies to you based on the answers. Prison games are not being abandoned. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.

Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharp, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down the f*cks, sit down myself and imprison my mother.
Answer #2: I’ll sit on the peaks myself, and put my mother on my knees.

Parachute: You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest of shit, on the left is a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit?
Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.

You fell into a hole. There's a pie and a dick in the pit. What will you eat, what will you put in your mouth?
Answer: I'll take the pie and crawl out of the hole.

*opa or mother? Will you give it to F*ck or sell your mother?
Answer: Ass is not given, mother is not for sale.

Fork: Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?
Answer: And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer #2: I don't see any one-eyed people here.

Soap or bread? What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap dish, the bucket is not a bread bin.

About the Sahara: You and Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the kent and bites him on the dick. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the kent has a butt above his knee, then the snake will not reach him. If it’s lower, he’ll suck it himself.
Answer #2: Today it’s a kent, and tomorrow it’s a cop.

About the train: You are riding on a train, chained to levers that can be turned either left or right. There is a fork ahead - on the right the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, who will you run over?
Answer: Today they are kents, tomorrow they are cops.
The answer to all the riddles above: I'll wake up.

About the bones: The prisoner sits on the shkonar, they open the feeding trough and give gruel and dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.

About roosters: There lived two roosters, one was eaten before lunch, and the other after lunch, who was worse?
Answer: Those who already have it worse.

In addition to such riddles, citizen prisoners can also offer the newcomer a series of tests of intelligence and ingenuity.

Football: They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.

Broom: They give you a broom and say: “Play something on the guitar.” What will you do?
Answer: Give me the broom with the words “And you set the mood first”

Sew up the bottle: They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.

Accordion: They ask you to play the battery, like a button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to blow the furs.

Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - they ask the newcomer. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he answers. Then crawl under the bunks, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping away dust and dirt under the bunks.

Get out. Now who will you be? Well, probably better to be a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which bunk will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. I was scared if he said - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to show himself to be a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he answers. Will you fall on dominoes or on arranged chess pieces? - they ask him.

When you stand blindfolded, you obviously have a very vivid picture of how you fly flat from two meters onto the points of arranged figures. It’s bad if a beginner chooses a domino: they will force him to fall, and registration will begin to become stricter. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: off to chess, there will be another three minutes of fear and that’s all.

While they are arranging the figures, while they are placing you on the bunk, and the most terrible seconds are when you have to fly off it yourself - fall with your whole body down blindly. Jerking sharply - it was not - he flops, expecting acute pain, but falls onto the stretched blanket.

Pain resistance: A newcomer may be asked to compete with one of the old-timers in resistance to pain. They are both blindfolded (the old-timer first), seated on both sides of the table, and the newcomer’s scrotum, he feels with horror, is tied with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of the opponent. And he is given the end of a similarly tied rope.

The start is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost loses consciousness, because he is pulling himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and see how he reacted to the bullying.

Bus: A newcomer gets down on all fours, and someone heavier climbs on his back. Go! The newcomer walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn around and rest. The rider-passenger asks him which stop. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's move on! This will last until he decides to say: the final stop.

Astrologer: A novice stargazer climbs under his padded jacket and must, through its extended upward sleeve - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he sees them clearly through the sleeve, as if through a pipe. At this time, a basin suddenly pours onto him through his sleeve. cold water- a basin for washing, called Alyonka for some reason, is always in the cell. How will a newcomer react to this, crawling out wet to the general laughter of those around him?

Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer answers readily. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me too. And in a cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess what, newbie, on the second or third glass, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the last one for your overall health.

Based on: Guberman I.M., Walking around the barracks, M., “Verb”, 1993, p. 78-82.

Bonus for owners of a gadget on the Android OS - There is a quest application “Prisoner Test 2.0” in the playmarket. In this application you can independently register for a “hut” using the knowledge from this article.

Well, here are some helpful reviews of the app from the Play Store:

You shouldn’t renounce prison; anyone can end up there for several hours, days or months, even for a minor violation. Going to prison is always stressful for an inexperienced person, because the culture and customs of the prisoners differ from the usual ones. But the first stress is followed by the second: how to enter a house in the zone so as not to spoil your impression of yourself on the first day?

The zone is a place where mistakes are not forgiven, and staying there can be aggravated by a mispronounced word or wrong action. Therefore, a beginner would benefit from some knowledge of how to enter a hut in the zone. First day in the zone prison registration- which is the first link of all subsequent events. What should you not do or say to ensure successful relationships with prisoners?

The behavior of the convicted person is formed from the minute when, through the lawyer, it becomes clear to him how long he is scheduled to spend in the cell before the trial. How less people he will meet “youngsters”, “seasoned criminals” - so much the easier. Isolation implies absolute loneliness, which is sometimes negotiated with investigators.

Login and greeting

Before entering a hut in the zone, it is worth keeping in mind that almost everything about you is already known or will be checked very quickly, and flaunting eloquence, as well as adding anything to the truth, is inappropriate. The essential qualities that will be required are communication skills, politeness, self-esteem.

First of all, basic education is necessary: ​​when you enter, you greet people. But if among the cellmates there are “low-down” ones, the person who has become close to them in words will replenish their number. That is, “hello everyone” will not do. Optimal greeting options are recommended: “greetings people”, “great, bros”. Addressing prisoners as “men” is not the best; this word will emphasize the boundary between a despised caste and an honorary title, and will encourage them to check the status of the “man” who enters. They do not shake hands with the first mover until their “purity” is confirmed.

Article, acquaintance, nickname

A towel thrown at your feet, a self-esteem detector is not the end of the acquaintance, after that the same question remains relevant: how to properly enter a hut in the zone without attracting unhealthy attention to yourself? “What were you convicted for?”, “What did you get caught for?” - the newcomer should answer these questions with the article number, without hiding the actual state of affairs, despite his innocence. To the question: “Who are you?” the expected answers are “a tramp” - an authority figure who has found himself behind bars not for the first time, “a man” - a person who has no “mistakes” when he is free, or “a degraded person.”

You should not go to seemingly free bunks. For pioneers, most often there are sleeping places located in the corners. The newcomer may be invited to the table (common fund) to drink tea, and will again be asked to tell in more detail what he was convicted of and who he is. If you have no experience of imprisonment, it is better to say so - the experienced ones will figure out your the real essence. Without knowing the rules of life in a cell, it is worth saying it as it is, and expressing agreement regarding their observance. It is better to remain silent about your financial situation or create the impression of a person of average income.

A nickname is a necessity that you can choose at your own discretion, or it will be assigned by society according to the characteristics or behavior of the prisoner. A newcomer can accept or refuse an offensive nickname by answering “no channel” or vice versa: “he is channeling”.

Usually the beholder voices unwritten rules, failure to comply with which is punished especially severely. It is very easy to “get caught” in deeds and words, especially for a beginner. If it is necessary to resist collective disapproval, to extricate oneself from an unconscious mistake, if the usual methods do not work, then the prisoners are forced to practice " non-standard approach"to survive and to improve the current situation.

"Unconventional" approach

1. Go on a hunger strike with the involvement of a lawyer and with the signing of a statement about this by higher management, starting from the supervising prosecutor or higher.

2. Declare an allegedly difficult-to-diagnose disease, such as coronary heart disease, or the like, which will make it possible to go under the supervision of a doctor, and in some cases will give a chance of release. But it’s not worth competing with experienced people by simulating unfamiliar illnesses: exposure can be more expensive.

3. There is also a method when the prisoner informally informs the investigator about his suspicions: that his cellmate has shown an intention to encroach on his honor, and that in an attempt to defend himself he may cause bodily harm to the offender. Often the decision is made to place the new arrival in solitary confinement.

4. It is preferable to serve a sentence in a small cell, where neighbors will be violators whose offenses are not related to particularly serious ones - robbers, accident workers. And then the hassle of entering the house, registration in the zone, and the like, are more likely to remain unclaimed. But in order to influence the decision on a sparsely populated cell, at a minimum, it is important to maintain respect for the detective officer and the investigator.

5. In some cases, it was possible to pay off for large amounts from being in a shared cell.

6. “Residence registration” can be avoided by elderly people, those who are sick, who upon entry declare that they undertake to pay “to the common fund” and work as much as they are supposed to.

What is "registration"?

If it was not possible to avoid cells with criminals, you will have to register and live under generally accepted conditions.

Initially, no one is inclined to harm the newcomer, but no one is indifferent to what kind of person you have to serve time, communicate and interact with long time. Therefore, formally, registration is a test in the form of tricky questions, like quick way get to know your cellmate, understand what kind of attitude he deserves.

Often you need to make a choice between two obviously losing options, but an answer that avoids specific values ​​may turn out to be quite satisfactory. Recommendations on how to competently enter a hut in a zone come down to the principle of firmness and unambiguity in answers, in which, however, a philosophical approach is acceptable.

Provocative questions for a newcomer

1. They are asked to choose one of the domino fields: five or six. In the territory of prisoners, the five corresponds to the degraded person, and the six to the slanderer. But if you answer that you chose a “dash” between the fields, the specificity of the answer will not suffer from this. Things symbolic of these concepts sometimes become fatal, like “accidental” hopelessness in the form of a single place or item of use numbered six, which for a beginner can backfire as a potential nuisance.

2. Provocative questions with subtext, requiring immediate answers without hesitation, may look like this: “If there is a sea on the right and a forest on the left, what will you choose when descending by parachute?” With any choice there is a loss, but the solution is in an expanded version: “In every forest there is a clearing, and in the sea there is an island,” and the like.

3. Questions that require categorical answers: “What will you do if hopeless situation Will you need to sell your mother or substitute yourself?" Answer: "The mother is not for sale, and your own (if mentioned) part of the body is not substituted."

If you haven't passed the "registration"

For those who did not pass the registration, there is a chance to repeat it again, unlike those who were “omitted,” accompanying the intention with the appropriate ritual and words, usually by pouring a bucket of water on themselves. If the registration has not been completed, the newcomer is forcibly offered to join the “fives” or “sixes”. This state of affairs can be avoided by apologizing, offering payment or work as an alternative.

What kind of criminals are not liked in prison?

Before entering a hut in the zone, you should prepare for the fact that in prison they do not like rapists, child molesters, and homosexuals.

If it becomes known that a prisoner betrayed his friends, which is why they ended up in prison, they will not forget this and will determine the appropriate attitude.

The one who lied can be checked, and if the lie comes to light, it turns out that the prisoner kept silent about his belonging to the “lowered ones”, sitting with fellow prisoners and authorities at the same table, this is not forgiven.

What to Avoid

How to spend time usefully

Before entering a hut in the zone, you should think about your time there, and perhaps use it to your advantage - for self-development or something else. They smoke a lot in prisons and the food is also poor. best quality, but there remains the possibility of daily walks, or work, as well as independent physical training. Recommended to take Active participation in activities, go for walks, go to the bathhouse, take care of the body as much as possible, do not reject the possibility of additional distance education, which is encouraged in prisons. If the prison has a library and is equipped jobs- this has a beneficial effect on the psyche and speeds up the passage of time.

Staying behind bars, even for a short period of time, is a rather difficult process. The laws of the zone are harsh and sometimes downright cruel. But these are real, “reinforced concrete” laws, or “concepts”, as they say on the other side of the gateway. Knowing and following prison laws is essential if a person wants to survive behind bars.
Checking for lice
On the other hand, what is a prison? Let's face it - this is a place where a person is tested for survivability, or rather for survival in extreme conditions. Once imprisoned, a person is obliged to mobilize all his physical and intellectual potential and wage an endless struggle for survival. After all, there are only two exits from the pre-trial detention center - to the zone or to the morgue. The latter, as a rule, ends up as a result of a showdown, suicide or accident. There is a third option - the defendant is found not guilty in the courtroom and sent home. But the likelihood of such a happy ending is so small that we won’t even consider it.

In short, risky, brave people with a king in their heads can trample the zone without any problems. Many people cannot do this. As they say, you can’t stop anyone from living with curly hair. But not everyone can, some people have points.

Almost always, the further status and conditions of a new prisoner’s stay in the criminal environment depend on his first steps, the first minutes of being in the cell. Anyone entering the cell must undergo registration, which in form is an interrogation in order to determine what kind of person has come to the “hut”. After all, people have to spend some time together in one enclosed room, and they don’t want unnecessary problems. For example, eating at the same table for a week or two with a “rooster” who has not declared his suit is fraught with trouble even for the toughest authorities. That’s why they question the newcomer in the cell so meticulously.

Most likely, people over forty, obviously ill people and psychotics will not be forced to register. For an elderly person, if there are no “shoals” around him, the thieves will immediately declare that he is designated as a “man.” That is, sometimes he will work to tidy up the “hut” and pay into the “common fund”. No one will force him to participate in thieves' affairs. True, you can drop out of the “men”, and with a demotion. If, for example, you steal from your own people (“rafting”), talk too much and bother the thieves with your questions, and also get caught having connections with operas.

There's one more thing iron rule- when registering (and generally while in a pre-trial detention center cell), you should always tell the truth. Even if a person committed rape, one should state this directly and tell about all the circumstances of the case. Surely there will be some mitigating circumstances (excluding cases of rape of minors). In the first case, the gang will carefully discuss the topic (discuss the situation) and will not put much pressure on the rapist. Today, no one will “put down” the “shaggy safe cracker” (rapist) and punch him in the ass. IN worst case he will be offered to move closer to the bucket. But if it turns out that the “Kent” deceived his cellmates with a big deal (crime), he will never be forgiven for this.

So be honest about yourself. If you don't know the rules of life in a cell, say so. When asked whether you will comply with the rules and concepts, it is better to answer “yes”. Few people know that according to the concept, a person who has not passed registration and is classified as a “parashnik” or “devils” has the right to a second attempt to register correctly.

To do this, you need to go to the middle of the “hut”, pour a bucket of water on yourself, shout “goodbye, parasha!” and try to register again. This time, the first mover already has some prison experience and can more adequately answer the tricky questions of his cellmates. "Rooster", of course, does not have such an opportunity.

One more thing. Today, when market relations have penetrated beyond the walls of the prison, there are cases when first-time residents paid off their registration by contributing several thousand dollars to the common fund.

Frostbitten athlete

Registration is an important prison ritual. Its rules have evolved over decades, and a person entering a cell for the first time can be intimidating.

They may shout at you, hit you several times, or provoke you in every possible way. But at the same time, no one sets the goal of inflicting serious bodily harm on the newcomer; rather, this is done as a preventive measure. Athletes who come into camera for the first time often take such attacks seriously and start a real fight. And this is a serious “jamb”, for which serious punishment is due.

Personally, I witnessed the following incident with my own eyes. One day they assigned a muscle racketeer to our cell. He was a huge guy who was a professional boxer. With a bullish neck, huge muscles, a pumped up torso and one gyrus, which, apparently, was not in the head, but just below the back. On the very first evening they tried to register him. The jock answered the questions slowly, but within the acceptable limits. The “bull” has almost passed registration. To complete it, one of the criminals, nicknamed Skula, lightly hit the athlete in the chest. The boxer responded with a crushing right hook and rushed into the fray, inflicting grievous bodily harm on the lessons that prescribed him. As a result, three thieves went to the hospital. The boxer was transferred to another “hut”, but three weeks later he was “cocked” there at night.

“The second part of the Marlezon ballet”

The attitude towards intellectuals in the zone is generally tolerant. In the criminal world, they need to behave simply, but with dignity. Inmates, as a rule, have incomplete secondary education. Their interests are very limited - drugs, chifir, porn, exchange of opinions on criminal cases. Therefore, it is possible to establish communication. It is useless to argue with cellmates; conflicts with prisoners do not end well.

However, there is a difference between intellectual and intellectual. One day a slender wimp showed up in our “hut”, who obviously didn’t sniff buckets. The friar's name was Lenya Finkelstein, and in life he was a typical huckster. He had some kind of business, but went to prison for tax fraud. He passed registration quite easily and was assigned to the “men”. But Lena was not destined to remain in this suit.

Some researchers claim that one hundred percent of the population of planet Earth suffers from mental disorders to one degree or another. In other words, we are all mentally inadequate. But Lenya clearly stood out against this background due to the scope of his illness. He suffered from full-blown musical schizophrenia. Every morning began with a small chant. First, thieves' verses were sung. Then Lenya smoothly switched to the classics and performed various arias. Then there was a sharp transition to the White Guard theme. After lunch, washing his belongings in a basin near the brakes, Lenya gave out all the pearls from the serial TV movie about The Three Musketeers. Like “Burgundy, Normandy, Champagne or Provence...”, “A shabby saddle will hold it together again...”, “There is a black pond in the count’s park, where lilies bloom...”. And when announcing the title of the song, he always added: “The second part of the Marlezon ballet!”

The thieves were furious with this folk art, but they couldn’t do anything. They will tell the singer to “shut up,” he will be silent for a couple of minutes and begin again: “The Cardinal ate broth with Madame Eguillon...” or “Constance, Constance...”. At the same time, Lenya did not formally violate any prison laws and it was impossible to punish him. The lafa ended when Lenya, climbing onto his horse, began to sing a song that was creepy by prison standards.