Why the world can seem hostile. Communication - from the womb

The world is hostile

They began to explain to us very early what a hostile world we live in.

- Where did you go, Baba Yaga is sitting there, she’ll take you now...

- Come on, uncle, take this one. bad boy who doesn't listen to his mother...

They quickly explained to us that we live in a world of people who, at any moment, will deceive, betray, steal, abandon.

- Do not trust anyone! - how often have we heard these words.

- Before you know it, they’ll devour you! – these words clearly express the entire philosophy based on the idea of ​​a hostile world and hostile people.

We truly lived in a hostile world. We lived in a country in which the image of an enemy, the image of a threat, had been implanted for decades and became the norm for ideas about life.

We were surrounded by enemies in the form of American imperialism, world capitalism, nationalism, Zionism, etc. And we really believed that the world was hostile.

I remember one incident that happened during my “sacrifice” period, when I lived in negative beliefs and ideas about the world.

Through hard work, my husband and I earned money for a trip abroad, which Soviet time was the ultimate dream.

We stood in line for almost a year, checking in once a week, to buy a ticket.

We were traveling abroad, having received instructions from serious people from a serious organization on how to behave, who not to communicate with, what to do, what not to do. General meaning these instructions: keep your eyes open, because this is abroad!

And, although we were traveling to what was then still socialist Hungary, it was still impossible to relax!

And one day, while walking through the streets of a small Hungarian town, my husband and I came across a swimming pool under open air. It was a large pool in the center of a picturesque green meadow. And a lot of people - local residents and tourists different nationalities, - throwing off their clothes and simply laying them on the grass, - swam in this pool, expressing their mood with joyful exclamations and laughter.

We also decided to take a swim. We undressed, laid our clothes on the grass and, as they say, slowed down.

– How will we leave our things? - the same question was born in us at the same time. For us, immigrants from the Soviet system, it was simply unthinkable to imagine that you could just leave your clothes and go swimming. After all, they will hide!

We looked around. Nobody was guarding anything. People simply left their clothes and went into the water. But it was unthinkable to understand and accept this.

“Go away,” I told my husband. - I'll go later.

My husband went swimming. I sat and guarded the clothes. I sat “guarding” my clothes from invisible but potential thieves, because I really believed that “you can’t trust anyone” and that “before you know it, they’ll steal you away.”

Then my husband looked after the clothes, and I swam, already realizing the stupidity of this situation. Because no one except us was guarding anything.

People were just having fun. People were just happy. They frolicked like children. The thought that they were among enemies who would at any moment leave them in the same clothes their mother gave birth to did not enter their heads.

I swam a little, then, lying on the grass, I said to my husband:

- Let's go together…

- What about things? - he asked.

“We’ll take a look,” I reassured.

And we “looked”. Swimming in one direction or the other, we controlled the situation. Even in the water we did not relax. We were like two soldiers of an invisible front, caught in the enemy camp and existing in expectations of a “threat”.

It’s funny to think about it now. Funny and sad. But then I was who I was, with the whole terry set of limiting negative ideas about life. And it is not surprising that in my life there was always, as they say, “diarrhea, then scrofula”...

Having such an idea of ​​the world, we always expect, fear troubles, and, in accordance with these expectations, we receive them in full.

We live in an evil world in which there is evil people- they are just waiting to beat you up or condemn you.

We live in a world in which there is an evil God who is constantly watching your sinful actions - and is just waiting to punish you.

We live in a hostile Universe - just remember any film about aliens, representatives of other civilizations, who are always hostile in our minds and arrive only to destroy our lives and destroy our planet.

But why should we believe that the world is like this?

Who decided this? You? Or your parents and people who don’t even think about what they believe in, but sow the infection of their ideas around?

I don't believe in all this nonsense anymore.

My world is bright. He is kind and joyful. They live in it beautiful people. And kind ones, loving God and the Universe support me, guide me through my life.

At least admit the thought that this could happen!

And then the idea of ​​the kindness of the world will help you create a completely different life. Full of kindness, trust and support.

"...And even earlier I was able to treat people (relieve headaches, toothache, treat a cold) and now everything has disappeared somewhere. It’s a pity, in general it’s very nice to help people. And why I don’t know. Maybe it improves your self-esteem.

Although it’s more likely just pleasant and that’s all, I don’t know why. And in general, more than anything in the world, I want to have a taste for life. To make life interesting for me. In general, I don’t even know how to explain. I don't have it yet. I live like an amoeba. It's even disgusting...

This is the greatest dignity of man. Without it, everything else is of little value. That is why you strive for it all your life. Usually you measure your success at any given time by how deep the peace is in your soul.

Peace in the soul is your inner gyroscope. Only by living in harmony with your own highest values and inner beliefs, being in perfect balance with life, you achieve peace in your soul. If for some reason you compromise with your own...

As a rule, the ignorant think that Buddhists believe in reincarnation, even in metempsychosis (transmigration of souls). But they are mistaken. In fact, Buddhism only teaches that the energy obtained as a result of the spirit and physical activity of a being gives rise to new phenomena of a spiritual and physical order after its death.

There are many ingenious theories on this subject, and it seems that the mystics of Tibet treat the question of death more deeply than most other Buddhists.

Philosophical...

During the first year of his life, the child lives in the reality of the unconscious and most receives his impressions from his mother. He unmistakably reacts to her conscious and unconscious impulses and little by little learns a lot even then. The mother's influence is much more significant than many people think, and the way she behaves towards the child (often on an unconscious level) shows the child where he belongs. Apparently in the world of a newborn important role a number of others also play...

The long-awaited 21st century has finally arrived, for which we have all been preparing for so long. Remember how in childhood we were constantly told that we were children of the new century, that it was we who had to live and build communism in the 21st century? So what now?

It turns out that there is no need to build any communism for a long time, we have all grown up and ceased to be children, we watch old “Soviet” films with a smile and are surprised if suddenly at VDNKh we see a monument to the leader of the world proletariat, Grandfather Lenin. We're just living in a new century...

It is generally accepted that the sense of smell in life modern man plays a much smaller role than, for example, vision or hearing. They say that this is how we differ from animals, for whom smell is the main regulator of both sexual behavior and behavior in general.

But we are all children of nature. Therefore, the fact that the world of smells is often underestimated in terms of controlling our behavior can be considered strange. For example, it has long been established that the olfactory impulse reaches the brain much faster than...

“There is no violence in the spiritual,” say the Kabbalists. But in our material world there is plenty of violence. Is there at least one corner where you could be sure that you won’t be offended, humiliated, or forced to do something you don’t want?

There is no such place on earth! There is no place where you can feel safe. Why is this so, because these same Kabbalists assure us that there is nothing in the world that does not have a reason in spiritual world?

"Yes, I would like to live in such a world...

I have long noticed one strange thing: a person does not want to solve a problem, he is looking for someone to blame for it. And the culprits are found, social people they find the culprits in the government, in employers, in bandits, in the mafia, in the USA, etc. Spiritual people are different.

But only in color: Christians blame the devil and demons, and numerous esotericists blame anyone: astral entities, energy vampires, egregors, damage, evil eyes, karma, the destructive influence of the auras of surrounding people, and so on, and so on, and...

There is such a strange paradox - we cannot live without peace. From the very beginning - if a child is not hugged and stroked by his mother or father, if they do not talk to him, do not smile at him, or if the child does not have them at all - he cannot become a person. Does not master speech or does it with great difficulty.
If he doesn't have social group- he cannot form identity and individuality.
If he does not have close people, he does not have intimacy, trust and acceptance.

And at the same time, the world contains many dangers. The same parents inflict many wounds on the child - both psychological and physical, and some - sexual (both psychological and physical sense).
And that's not to mention kindergarten, school, work.

And this paradox lasts all our lives - on the one hand, if we don’t give anything to the world, don’t communicate with it, don’t care about it - it’s strange for us to expect something from it. On the other hand, if our picture of the world is such that the world is hostile, unfriendly, and will simply not give anything, or even hit you in the head, then what we put into it also begins to become deformed, and the less we get an answer. But it seems to us that we are putting a lot, because we are overcoming enormous internal resistance: the picture is distorted.
And more and more aggression, resentment, a sense of injustice: they use me, I am everything, but I have nothing, I can’t get what I want, all people are bastards, no one is interested in me, or - I’m lonely, no one cares about me understands, I'm always on the sidelines.
Some of my clients go deep into calculations - I’ve been in the company for three months, and I’m entitled to this and that, but Masha is entitled to a month, and she’s entitled to such and such. Or “I gave the girl a rose, a gladiolus and a car, now I can count on...”

And it’s so difficult to cope with this - I know this from myself. Because you still want closeness - even psychopaths - because you still want love, it is impossible to constantly live on the sidelines - because without a group and intimacy, life begins to disappear, because suddenly the girl Masha, who has been in the company for three days, turns out to be more accepted and close, than me.
Because people draw completely different conclusions and perceive my woundedness as detachment or aggression.

And I don’t always know how to deal with this with this particular client - of course, we explore the past, the present, we try to learn to trust more or behave differently. But the tougher his concept of a hostile world, the earlier it was formed, the more difficult it is to move it.

Two things helped me at one time: “the world is not hostile, it just doesn’t care, so it makes sense to live the way you want and look for those with whom I can be myself - and whom I can accept” and “don’t try to explain it with evil intent.” , which can be explained by human stupidity."
I'm not afraid to give something to the world because I know that I can take care of myself, not give too much and agree in advance "what will happen to me for this."
And I received a lot of different things from the world - bad, very bad, good, and very good. And a lot of incomprehensible garbage that was not easy to sort out. Because he is very different.

Subjectively, the experience of the onset of labor carries with it strong anxiety and a feeling of impending threat. Our entire universe seems to be in danger, but the source of this threat remains a mystery that eludes our attempts to comprehend it. Because the initial changes are chemical in nature, they may feel like illness or toxicity. In extreme cases, a person may feel paranoid or feel like they are in a hostile environment. In trying to find an explanation, he may attribute the sensations of threat to poisons, electromagnetic radiation, evil forces, secret organizations, or even the influence of extraterrestrial civilizations. Spontaneous occurrences of memories involving intrauterine disturbances or the beginning of exit from the womb appear to be important reasons paranoid states.
As the experience of threat develops and deepens, a person may have a vision of a giant whirlpool, a feeling of being in it and being mercilessly pulled into its very center. It may also seem that the earth has opened up and swallows the unwitting traveler into the dark labyrinths of an eerie underground world. Another variation of the same experiences is the feeling of being devoured by an archetypal monster, caught by a terrifying octopus or a huge tarantula. This experience can reach fantastic proportions, as if not only you alone, but the whole world is being drawn into it. The whole atmosphere as a whole resembles an apocalypse, destroying the calm intrauterine world and replacing the oceanic and cosmic freedom of the embryo with the agony of being trapped and a feeling of being absorbed by unknown external forces.
A person experiencing the full development of BPM-I feels caged in a claustrophobic nightmare world. The visual field becomes dark and ominous, and general atmosphere resembles unbearable mental and physical torment. At the same time, the connection with linear time is completely lost, and everything that happens seems eternal and seemingly without end. Under the influence of BPM-I, a person is selectively tuned to the worst and most hopeless aspects of existence; he becomes aware of the dark, monstrous and evil aspects of the universe inhabiting his psyche. Our entire planet seems to be an apocalyptic place, filled with horror, suffering, wars, epidemics, catastrophes and natural disasters. At the same time in human life it is impossible to find any positive aspects, such as love and friendship, achievements in science and art, or the beauty of nature. In this state, a person sees beautiful children playing with each other and thinks about how they will grow old and die, and when he sees a delightful rose, he imagines how in a few days it will wither.
BPM-I in the most mystical sense connects people with the suffering of the world and helps them identify with everything
we have been sacrificed, trampled upon and oppressed. In deep unusual states governed by this matrix, we can truly experience ourselves as thousands of young people who died in all wars human history. We can identify with all the prisoners suffering and dying in the prisons, torture chambers, concentration camps or mental hospitals of the world. Among the themes most often associated with this matrix are scenes of hunger, as well as the discomfort and danger posed by frost, ice and snow. This seems to be due to the fact that when the uterus contracts, the baby's blood supply is interrupted - the blood that means nourishment and warmth for him. Another typical aspect of BPM-lf is the atmosphere of the Inhuman, grotesque and bizarre world of automata, robots and mechanical devices. Images of human deformities, deformities and the meaningless card world of dens also belong to the characteristic symbolism of this matrix.
BLM-1! accompanied by a variety of physical manifestations. This includes tension in the whole body and a posture that expresses a feeling of being cheated and/or forced into a pointless struggle. A person may experience extreme pressure on the head and body, heaviness in the chest, and various combinations of physical pain. At the same time, the head is tilted forward, the jaws are closed, the chin is pressed to the chest, the hands are most often folded on the chest, and the fingers are tightly clenched into fists. The knees are often bent and the legs are pressed towards the stomach, which completes the picture of the fetal position. Bruises may appear in the skin capillaries, forming red spots in various areas.

One of my friends gave birth to her first child very early - at 15 years old. She didn’t have a husband, and throughout her pregnancy she walked around in fear and shame, and when she gave birth, she didn’t even imagine that it would be so difficult for her to care for the baby. Of course, then there could be no talk of a spiritual reunion with the child, of correctly guessing and responding to his needs. After all, my mother was afraid and worried about her future. However, this experience gave the woman the opportunity to look at herself and her life differently. After several years of suffering, she finally took up psychology and personal development. And then she got married and gave birth to a second daughter. She had a completely different connection with her second baby: while pregnant, her mother communicated with him, listened to music, and did yoga. And when the baby was born, the mother rejoiced at every moment spent with her.

This different attitude to his daughters, of course, could not but affect their lives. The eldest - whom my mother, even in her womb, considered a “foreign body” and a creature “ruining her life” - grew up intimidated and embittered. Only after some time - when her mother began to change and then got married - did her first daughter perk up and calm down a little. But the basic hostility towards the world remains. The girl grew up with a rather distrustful character, cautious, fenced off from the world. Youngest daughter- quite the opposite. Filled with maternal love from the womb, the girl easily moves through life. She is not afraid of communicating with people, relationships with them, she is brave, energetic and open.

Why is bonding needed?

The way a mother communicates with her baby in the womb and in the first years of life is called bonding. From English bonding is “reunion”, “recreation”. This is the name given to that unique, subtle, intuitive connection between a baby and his mother. It is in the perinatal period and in the period up to one year of a child’s life that as a result of bonding, the so-called basic trust in the world is formed. It manifests itself in the initial attitude “the world is kind to me” or vice versa - “the world is hostile”.

Trust in the world is formed if the world is predictable and benevolent. This means that the mother correctly recognizes the signals given by the baby (what he wants at this particular moment), satisfies these needs in a timely manner and eliminates discomfort. If from the very moment of birth the mother is next to the child, ready to help at any moment, the baby feels safe and confident.

If during this period, due to some extreme circumstances, it is not formed, it will remain unreplenished for life. Due to some circumstances, a mother may incorrectly recognize the child’s signals, fail to satisfy his needs in a timely manner, or have her own psychological problems (which necessarily affects her attitude towards the child). In such cases, the baby will develop the attitude that “the world is hostile to me,” and his basic emotions there will be anxiety and fear. Subsequently, such a child will become unsure of himself and the world, the people around him will seem bad, angry, and it will become difficult for him to make contacts and build relationships.

Communication - from the womb

If you are going to get pregnant or are already carrying (or nursing) a baby, try to pay attention to how this intuitive subtle connection is formed in you.

To safely carry and give birth to your baby, try to talk to him more during pregnancy. Treat him as a part of you - a sacred, gentle being. Try to listen to your sensations and feelings more often, meditate, sing, listen to music. Involve your husband in communicating with the unborn baby. Painting your mood with colors and reading fairy tales also have a good effect on the baby. In body-oriented psychotherapy, pregnant women are recommended to tell their child special phrases - affirmations - from time to time. This maintains connection with the baby and calms him down.

Sit back, dim the lights, turn on some nice music. Place your palms around your stomach. In a quiet, calm and confident voice - thinking about the child - repeat the following phrases several times:

"I'm here, I'm next to you"

“You are desired (desired)”

"I'm waiting for you"

The child will not understand the meaning of the words, but he will definitely feel the meaning of these phrases. Indeed, during this period, it is more important than ever for him to feel that his mother is here, that she is really waiting for him.

Birth and safety

When a baby is born, it is also important not to disrupt the subtle intuitive contact with him. If the mother begins to worry and be afraid, the child will definitely feel it and will also become worried. Therefore, try to follow these rules:

Always be within sight (audibility) of the child. For a baby, the absence of a mother is perceived as her loss, death. Talk to your baby even when you go to another room or to the kitchen.

try to hold your child in your arms more often. Or carry your baby in special slings. The more often and more the baby is in physical contact with you or dad, the calmer and healthier his psyche will be. It is in the arms of the parents that the baby feels safe.

If possible, breastfeed your baby. In infancy, the child receives all pleasure through the mouth. Feeding is perhaps the most important element development at first. Through communication with the breast, the baby not only receives food, he thus communicates with his mother. It’s good when food, mother’s breast, mother’s warmth and smell, heartbeat are always nearby. This feeling of satiety and safety of the child is the basis mother's love. But feeding a child by the hour can create uncertainty and anxiety in the baby.

sleep with your baby. After all, waking up alone in the middle of the night, a baby can be seriously scared. Sleeping together between mother and baby only strengthens the child’s sense of security and in no way harms him.

In the period up to one year, it is also important for the baby to pronounce individual phrases. This should be done in a quiet environment when the child is sleeping. Preferably - in your arms. Make yourself comfortable and repeat the following affirmations in a quiet, pleasant voice:

"I love you"

"I'm here"

“You are desired (desired)”

"It's good that you exist"

"I feel you, I stay with you"

"I'm attentive to you"