There's something wrong with these Russians. There's something wrong with these Russians

Anna-Lena Lauren

There's something wrong with their heads, these Russians

Anna-Lena Lauren

De är inte kloka de där ryssarna

I dedicate this book to:

Alexey Yanson - without you this book would never have seen the light of day.

Ilya Alexandrov, Ekaterina Alexandrova, Tatyana Andrianova, Dmitry Andrianov, Andrey Barsukov, Ksenia Sidorova, Yana Nabokova, Anna Chumachenko, Nikolai Chumachenko, Marina Shumilina, Natalya Shumilina

In loving memory of Svetlana Yanson.

Preface

This book is about my Russia. This is not an attempt to cover the entire country, its history, politics and economics, but reflections on Russia that have not left me for ten years now. This book is very biased and subjective. The fact is that Russia for me is not an object that can only be discussed, turning it this way and that. Russia is the country I am in love with. In my work as a journalist, I try to portray her as fairly as I can, but as a person I cannot remain impartial. She captured me and changed my life, and now I can never, ever remain indifferent to her.

Russia is an ungrateful country. Russia is irrational, burdensome, capricious, self-satisfied, obstinate, sympathetic and cordial, generous, painfully sensitive, vindictive - but still quick-witted. It takes time, time and time again to finally start at least in general outline understand Russian society. I am not a fan of talking about mentality, but it is impossible to deny the existence of the Russian mentality. For a Finn this is not obvious, because the Russian way of thinking was maintained in a completely different historical solution, although we have a common history.

I have been working as a Moscow correspondent for the Finnish state television company since March 2006. Before that, I traveled to Russia for ten years, partly as a journalist for the newspaper Hyvudstadsbladet, but primarily for the sake of communicating with my St. Petersburg friends. I dedicate this book to them. For opening the doors for me to a culture that I can no longer live without. But first of all, because they are my friends and have always supported me on all paths, in all circumstances and in all imaginable ways.

Lauri Karvonen, Vese Kekäle, Bjarne Nitovuori and Gunnel Salminen, who read the manuscript, made many sensible comments, corrected many things and provided many ideas.

To Mom and Dad - for shelter and food in Pargas during the writing of most of the book. And also for the cordiality and tolerance in the summer during the countless Russian invasions of our island in the Turku archipelago.

Russian woman

Russian feminists did not even need to declare war on men, because men voluntarily surrendered to the more educated, more cultured, smarter, more hard-working and less drinking sex.

Zhelvis V. These strange Russians

“Anya, I decided to go to the doctor and have my breasts examined,” says my friend Lena, looking at me seriously.

"Wonderful! Mammography is terribly important,” I answer. In Finnish, reasonable and dignified.

"No no. I will have surgery. I’ll enlarge my breasts,” explains Lena.

I almost fall out of my chair: “What’s this for? You’re already beautiful!”

“I know,” Lena answers proudly. “But I want to be even more beautiful.”

Lena is a single mother, she earns about one and a half thousand euros a month. Breast augmentation surgery will cost five thousand euros. Lena is going to take out a loan from the bank. I just open my mouth: the rate in Russia is twelve to thirteen percent. But Lena is happy and animated; she receives approval from Tanya, who says that she needs to allow herself important things in this life. “Although you won’t pretend that you’re doing this for your beloved. It’s clear that you’re doing this for the men,” Tanya says soberly.

My Russian friends talk very little about sex. The bed exploits of husbands and boyfriends are not a topic of discussion among girlfriends to the same extent as, for example, in Finland. An unsolvable mystery: why do Russian women spend so much energy on looking sexy, but never talk about sex?

Russian women dress femininely, move femininely, speak femininely. Most often - but not always - they do this completely unconsciously, this is some kind of requirement of society for them. Their whole being breathes a different sensuality than mine and my Finnish sex sisters. We were practically born wearing rubber boots.

Move with your back straight. Sit with your legs crossed. Hold the glass between the large and index fingers, leaving the rest a little behind.

Speak with a smile and a soft voice. Gracefully hold the cigarette between your index and middle fingers and, releasing smoke, form your lips into a sweet ring. Gracefully pick at the food and leave half on the plate. Always, always be tinted, perfumed and dressed in such a way as to spur a man's fantasy.

Some claim that Russian women dress like prostitutes. It is not true. It happens differently here. Most Russians definitely have style and taste, and they dress elegantly, femininely, emphasizing their individuality. Overall much better than the Finnish ones.

Although, indeed, I have never seen shorter skirts than in Moscow. It is quite natural that in a country of extremes there should be many girls who believe that a skirt should barely cover their panties. Even at sub-zero temperatures.

All the same, Russian women have that charm that sharply distinguishes them from other women, especially Scandinavian ones. This quality can lead foreign men to complete delight. Especially Scandinavian men. My Finnish male friends almost broke their necks when they visited me in Moscow: there are too many stylishly dressed girls of marriageable age here, you can look at them all the time.

"How many beautiful women in Russia? This is incredible!” - my friend Anders catches his breath on the second day of his stay in Moscow.

He says that women in Russia are beautiful differently than in Finland. They are simply more women. They are softer, more emotional, and most importantly, they have a much better developed sense of gender.

I myself notice that I have changed since I live in Moscow. Now I paint my eyes and lips more often, I bought several beautiful blouses, boots on high heels and a fitted winter short coat with velvet trim. This is not because I want to imitate Russian women - I will never become as beautiful as them. More likely because I want to be real. And in Russian society, women are not real if they do not spend a lot of time and effort on their appearance.

My metamorphosis was received with great enthusiasm by my Russian surroundings.

“Finally, you got rid of those baby shoes!” - Ilya exclaimed when I showed up in St. Petersburg for the first time wearing makeup and boots. He was referring to the size thirty-six athletic shoes that I wear in my free time.

Ilya looked at me appraisingly and concluded: “Now only a perm is not enough.”

No matter how hard I try, there is one thing to remember: I am a relatively young woman (at least I still have a few years of youth left). In other words, I will never be particularly convincing in the eyes of the Russians. This is a "macho society", a society in which men dictate the terms - literally. The main task of young women is to be beautiful and decorative. Nothing else matters.

This does not mean that young women in Russia are not doing well; on the contrary, many of them are better off than their male peers. Many foreign enterprises in Moscow prefer to hire women. Women are more responsible and dedicated to the common cause, compared to men, who are mainly interested in high salaries and how to get their friends into the same company. For women, the interests of the company mean much more, so they are more successful in international competition.

Circumstances turned out differently - which means you are forced to play by the rules established by men. Jumping as hard as you can and preaching Scandinavian equality is a lost cause. We need to watch what Russian women do and learn from them.

This primarily means one thing - to be cunning. Cunning and calculating.

When I first started my journey as a correspondent for Finnish television in Moscow, I often clashed with the most senior of our cameramen, who had a bad reputation as a man who looked down on women. Especially to women who are almost half his age and, moreover, have not worked a single day in their lives on television.

From the very first minutes he behaved incredibly arrogantly towards me. I responded with anger and indignation. Several times I answered him quite sharply, as a result of which he was mortally offended and began to consider me a brawler.

I dedicate this book to:

Alexey Yanson - without you this book would never have seen the light of day.

In loving memory of Svetlana Yanson.

Preface

Russia is an ungrateful country. Russia is irrational, burdensome, capricious, self-satisfied, obstinate, sympathetic and cordial, generous, painfully sensitive, vindictive - but still quick-witted. It takes time, time and more time to finally begin to understand Russian society at least in general terms. I am not a fan of talking about mentality, but it is impossible to deny the existence of the Russian mentality. For a Finn this is not obvious, because the Russian way of thinking was maintained in a completely different historical solution, although we have a common history.

I have been working as a Moscow correspondent for the Finnish state television company since March 2006. Before that, I traveled to Russia for ten years - partly as a journalist for the newspaper Hyvudstadsbladet, but primarily for the sake of communicating with my St. Petersburg friends. I dedicate this book to them. For opening the doors for me to a culture that I can no longer live without. But first of all, because they are my friends and have always supported me on all paths, in all circumstances and in all imaginable ways.

Lauri Karvonen, Vese Kekäle, Bjarne Nitovuori and Gunnel Salminen, who read the manuscript, made many sensible comments, corrected many things and provided many ideas.

To Mom and Dad for shelter and food in Pargas during the writing of most of the book. And also for the cordiality and tolerance in the summer during the countless Russian invasions of our island in the Turku archipelago.

Russian woman

Russian feminists did not even need to declare war on men, because men voluntarily surrendered to the more educated, more cultured, smarter, more hard-working and less drinking sex

Zhelvis V. These strange Russians

“Anya, I decided to go to the doctor and have my breasts examined,” says my friend Lena, looking at me seriously.

"Wonderful! Mammography is terribly important,” I answer. In Finnish, reasonable and dignified.

"No no. I will have surgery. I’ll enlarge my breasts,” explains Lena.

I almost fall out of my chair: “What’s this for? You’re already beautiful!”

“I know,” Lena answers proudly. “But I want to be even more beautiful.”

Move with your back straight. Sit with your legs crossed. Hold the glass between your thumb and forefinger, keeping the others slightly apart. Speak with a smile and a soft voice. Gracefully hold the cigarette between your index and middle fingers and, releasing smoke, form your lips into a sweet ring. Gracefully pick at the food and leave half on the plate. Always, always be tinted, perfumed and dressed in such a way as to spur a man's fantasy.

“How many beautiful women are there in Russia? This is incredible!” - my friend Anders catches his breath on the second day of his stay in Moscow.

He says that women in Russia are beautiful differently than in Finland. They are simply bigger than women. They are softer, more emotional, and most importantly, they have a much better developed sense of gender.

I myself notice that I have changed since I live in Moscow. Now I wear makeup on my eyes and lips more often, I bought several beautiful blouses, high-heeled boots and a fitted winter coat with velvet trim. This is not because I want to imitate Russian women - I will never become as beautiful as them. More likely because I want to be real. And in Russian society, women are not real if they do not spend a lot of time and effort on their appearance.

My metamorphosis was received with great enthusiasm by my Russian surroundings.

Ilya looked at me appraisingly and concluded: “Now only a perm is not enough.”

No matter how hard I try, there is one thing to remember: I am a relatively young woman (at least I still have a few years of youth left). In other words, I will never be particularly convincing in the eyes of the Russians. This is a “macho society,” a society in which men dictate the terms—literally. The main task of young women is to be beautiful and decorative. Nothing else matters.

Anna-Lena Lauren

THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR HEAD, THESE RUSSIANS

I dedicate this book to: Alexey Yanson - without you this book would never have seen the light of day. Ilya Alexandrov, Ekaterina Alexandrova, Tatyana Andrianova, Dmitry Andrianov, Andrey Barsukov, Ksenia Sidorova, Yana Nabokova, Anna Chumachenko, Nikolai Chumachenko, Marina Shumilina, Natalya Shumilina.

In loving memory of Svetlana Yanson.

Preface

Russia is an ungrateful country. Russia is irrational, burdensome, capricious, self-satisfied, obstinate, sympathetic and cordial, generous, painfully sensitive, vindictive - but still quick-witted. It takes time, time and more time to finally begin to understand Russian society at least in general terms. I am not a fan of talking about mentality, but it is impossible to deny the existence of the Russian mentality. For a Finn this is not obvious, because the Russian way of thinking was maintained in a completely different historical solution, although we have a common history.

Anna-Lena Lauren

Lauri Karvonen, Vese Kekäle, Bjarne Nitovuori and Gunnel Salminen, who read the manuscript, made many sensible comments, corrected many things and provided many ideas. To Mom and Dad - for shelter and food in Pargas during the writing of most of the book. And also for the cordiality and tolerance in the summer during the countless Russian invasions of our island in the Turku archipelago.

Chapter 1. RUSSIAN WOMAN

Russian feminists did not even need to declare war on men, because men voluntarily surrendered to the more educated, more cultured, smarter, more hard-working and less drinking sex.

Zhelvis V. These strange Russians

“Anya, I decided to go to the doctor and have my breasts examined,” says my friend Lena, looking at me seriously.

"Wonderful! Mammography is terribly important,” I answer. In Finnish, reasonable and dignified.

"No no. I will have surgery. I’ll enlarge my breasts,” explains Lena.

I almost fall out of my chair: “What’s this for? You’re already beautiful!”

“I know,” Lena answers proudly. “But I want to be even more beautiful.”

“How many beautiful women are there in Russia? This is incredible!” - my friend Anders catches his breath on the second day of his stay in Moscow.

He says that women in Russia are beautiful differently than in Finland. They are simply

Caution prevailed, and the book remained unwritten. But today I received as a gift a book by a Finnish journalist who lived in Russia for many years and... Well, it would be strange if she didn’t write a book about us Russians.

Of course, I won’t be able to rewrite her entire book here on LiveJournal.

Would you like me to quote this book to you?

(under the cut you can read for those who are interested, for example, I was terribly interested, especially since just yesterday Ivan Sergeevich Artsishevsky spoke about the reasons for the ineffective management of Russia, and two hours of conversation, which seemed like one minute to me, coincided so much with my thoughts, that... In general, it’s hard to surprise me - Ivan Sergeevich surprised me with the quality of his thoughts, and today this book turned out as a follow-up to yesterday’s conversation, wonderfully simple)

I quote fragmentarily, I warn you, although I try to preserve the context.

1. Apparently, the most closely guarded secret in Russia is this: women are not dumber or weaker than men - on the contrary. But no one told the men about this.

2. In Russia there is an excess of beautiful, well-educated, competent women - and a shortage of working men who don’t drink.

3. Being a single girl in Russia is not chic in the slightest.

4. But the author herself quotes “Our Russia” - “The woman has settled down well. After work, she just needs to run into kindergarten, pick up the kids, go shopping, cook dinner, help the kids do their homework, get them into bed, wash, iron, tidy up. After that she is free to do what she wants."

5. Women have to be their own brick wall. If not for them, Russia would have gone to the bottom long ago.

6. Russia is an ungrateful country. Russia is irrational, burdensome, capricious, self-satisfied, obstinate, sympathetic and cordial, generous, painfully sensitive, vindictive - but still quick-witted.

7. My Russian friends talk very little about sex. The bed exploits of husbands and boyfriends are not a topic of discussion among (Russian) girlfriends to the same extent as, for example, in Finland. An unsolvable mystery: why do Russian women spend so much energy on looking sexy, but never talk about sex?

8. Some people claim that Russian women dress like prostitutes. It is not true. It happens differently here.

9. I have never seen skirts shorter than in Moscow. It is quite natural that in a country of extremes there should be many girls who believe that a skirt should barely cover their panties. Even at sub-zero temperatures.

10. Russian society demonstrates male chauvinism very openly and persistently. For example, it is normal to write job advertisements as follows: “Secretary required, female, under 25 years old, height not lower than 175 cm.”

11. Women themselves rarely protest. They don't understand what the participants are really striving for women's movement for women's rights. “We already command men. The whole trick is to convince the man that he makes decisions,” says Tanya.

12. The solidarity of Russian men is indestructible... Standing up for friends is a matter of honor. It is not a great sin to cheat on your wife, to betray a friend - this cannot be forgiven.

13. Most Russian men are very gallant. On vacation in Finland, I am immensely irritated by these terribly uncouth and inattentive Finnish men who, on the train, leave me to push heavy bags onto the shelf on my own. In Russia this is simply impossible.

14. It no longer bothers me when a Russian man holds my door or pays for my cup of coffee - that’s simple politeness, no one is going to have an affair with me. I no longer insist that I will pay myself... - this will not lead to anything other than an argument... A woman who stubbornly pushes herself with her money is by no means promoting Scandinavian equality. A Russian man will not understand anything about her behavior. He will only be offended and confused.

15. (here is an incomplete quote from the words of a Norwegian man, but still interesting: “... Russian women have superbly succeeded in manipulating men. Since a man is stronger and more independent, it is necessary to set as many traps for him as possible. Russian men know this, and they do not allow themselves to be fooled. Foreigners, on the contrary, are too rational and naive. They do not know how to “read” the behavior of their Russian girlfriends and quickly end up henpecked..."

16. At festive dinners, men always drink to women.

17. But the contract stipulates that a man is by nature a fool and will always remain so, and therefore all his stupidities should be forgiven. As it is sung in popular song- “I’m sorry, believe me, and I’ll open the door for you...”

18. I feel sorry for Scandinavian women - all Russian men agree on this.

19. When they see the shoes that Finnish, Swedish and Norwegian women walk around in, Russian men shudder with disgust.

20. Russian democracy has been sliding backwards ever since Putin came to power - this is a fact, and nothing can be done about it.

21. In Russia... citizens do not understand why they should serve a society that does not serve them. State and municipal employees are deeply despised; it is believed that their only task is to take care of their own profit and steal as much as they can.

22. Most of Russians sincerely sympathize with Putin and therefore accept Putin’s heir to the throne, Dmitry Medvedev.

23. Opposition demonstrations are suppressed in the same way: total police and riot police are at least equal to the number of demonstrators.

24. Of all the potential heirs to the throne, Medvedev is the most modern: he learned to work with an iPhone back in the days when it was impossible to buy a licensed model in Russia.

25. My old Nokia 6310, the best Nokia ever made, causes a very strange reaction: why is a foreign journalist walking around with a ten-year-old model? Explanations like the fact that I have never seen a phone with such a long-lasting battery are met with complete bewilderment. It's not about the practical advantages of the phone, but about how you look with it in your hand!

26. In Russia, many topics are openly discussed that are taboo in Finland. They talk about salary, illness, death. You can discuss existential questions with complete strangers. It's completely normal to ask how much the person you're talking to earns. It is normal to discuss your relationship to God. But they don’t talk about the amount of the restaurant bill... In Finland, any waiter in a restaurant knows that they have to split the bill among the whole company... In Finland, people try to slip you twenty cents if they take a cigarette from you. The latter could drive the Russians into a stupor...

27. When a line forms, passport control employees do not even try to work faster or call their colleagues for help. Let people stand. Just think, it's a queue!

28. Moscow is a heartless city and in highest degree unsentimental, people here are fighting for survival and are concerned with one thing: making money... Everyone is in a terrible hurry... New Yorkers nervously smoke on the sidelines...

29. Russians have a different culture of arguing than we do. Anyone who is embarrassed to interrupt or speak out loud at the same time as the speaker will simply not get the opportunity to speak... In Russia, someone who remains silent is not considered mysterious or a philosopher. He is simply considered a strange person. People with the Finnish idea of opening your mouth only if you really have something to say are simply ignored.

30. You come to Helsinki on vacation and suddenly notice that in this city everyone has change... Completely implausible and almost boring.

31. Everyone in Russia knows that most police officers want one thing - money... Everyone knows that police officers are just looking for someone to extract money from, so why pay attention to what they say? And since in Russia everything can be agreed upon, the only question is to start negotiations.

32. Lena believed that it was safer to pay three hundred euros to an instructor, who would split the spoils with his contactees in the police, and thus provide Lena with a driver’s license. It never occurred to her that she could get a license by simply learning to drive - it was much easier to pay for the test.

33. I couldn’t understand why my (Russian) friends spend so much time and energy on all sorts of ingenious devices to deceive the examiner (at the university). Wouldn't it be easier to prepare for the exam?

I haven't read further yet. If there is anything interesting there, I’ll quote it. Will you say that these are well-known truths? For us Russians - yes. And for foreigners - discoveries. It took me a long time to get used to all this again when I returned to Russia. And by the way, I still haven’t gotten used to many things...

And yes, a bonus for those who read to the end - the book is called - “They have something wrong with their heads, these Russians.”

Finnish journalist of the YLE TV channel Anna-Lena Lauren wrote a book with analysis modern life in Russia. Lauren lived in Russia for a long time and wrote about her views from the position common sense civilized European woman.
Our book was published in December 2009. About the title of the book, the author believes that there is “nothing offensive in it. It can be compared with the French expression Ils sont fous. They are crazy. But in in a good way words."

Apparently, Russia's best-kept secret is this: women are no stupider or weaker than men—on the contrary. But no one told the men about this.

In Russia there is an excess of beautiful, well-educated, competent women – and a shortage of working men who don’t drink.

Being a single girl in Russia is not chic in the slightest.

Women have to be their own stone wall. If not for them, Russia would have gone to the bottom long ago.

Russia is an ungrateful country. Russia is irrational, burdensome, capricious, self-satisfied, obstinate, sympathetic and cordial, generous, painfully sensitive, vindictive - but still quick-witted.

My Russian friends talk very little about sex. The bed exploits of husbands and boyfriends are not a topic of discussion among (Russian) girlfriends to the same extent as, for example, in Finland. An unsolvable mystery: why do Russian women spend so much energy on looking sexy, but never talk about sex?

Some claim that Russian women dress like prostitutes. It is not true. It happens differently here.

I have never seen skirts shorter than in Moscow. It is quite natural that in a country of extremes there should be many girls who believe that a skirt should barely cover their panties. Even at sub-zero temperatures.

Russian society demonstrates male chauvinism very openly and persistently. For example, it is normal to write job advertisements as follows: “Required secretary, woman, under 25 years old, height not less than 175 cm.”

Women themselves rarely protest. They don't understand what the women's rights movement is really striving for. “We already command men. The trick is to convince the man that he is the one making the decisions.”

The solidarity of Russian men is indestructible... Standing up for friends is a matter of honor. It is not a great sin to cheat on your wife, to betray a friend - this cannot be forgiven.

Most Russian men are very gallant. On vacation in Finland, I am immensely irritated by these terribly uncouth and inattentive Finnish men who, on the train, leave me to push heavy bags onto the shelf on my own. In Russia this is simply impossible.

It no longer bothers me when a Russian man holds my door or pays for my cup of coffee - it’s just politeness, no one is going to have an affair with me. I no longer insist that I will pay myself... - this will not lead to anything other than an argument... A woman who stubbornly pushes herself with her money does not at all promote Scandinavian equality. A Russian man will not understand anything about her behavior. He will only be offended and confused.

(here is an incomplete quotation from the words of a Norwegian man, but still interesting: “...Russian women have superbly succeeded in manipulating men. Since a man is stronger and more independent, it is necessary to set as many traps for him as possible. Russian men know this, and they do not allow fool themselves. Foreigners, on the contrary, are too rational and naive. They do not know how to “read” the behavior of their Russian girlfriends and quickly end up henpecked..."

At festive dinners, men always drink to women.

Russian democracy has been sliding backwards ever since Putin came to power - this is a fact, and nothing can be done about it.

In Russia...citizens do not understand why they should serve a society that does not serve them. State and municipal employees are deeply despised; it is believed that their only task is to take care of their own profit and steal as much as they can.

Most Russians sincerely sympathize with Putin and therefore accept Putin's appointed heir to the throne, Dmitry Medvedev.

Opposition demonstrations are suppressed in the same way: the total number of police and riot police is at least equal to the number of demonstrators.

Of all the potential heirs to the throne, Medvedev is the most modern: he learned to work with an iPhone back in the days when it was impossible to buy a licensed model in Russia.

My old Nokia 6310, the best Nokia ever made, causes a very strange reaction: why is a foreign journalist walking around with a ten-year-old model? Explanations like the fact that I have never seen a phone with such a long-lasting battery are met with complete bewilderment. It's not about the practical advantages of the phone, but about how you look with it in your hand!

In Finland, people try to give you twenty cents if they take your cigarette. The last one (about cigarettes) can drive Russians into a stupor...

When a line forms, the passport control officers do not even try to work faster or call their colleagues for help. Let people stand. Just think, it's a queue!

Moscow is a heartless and highly unsentimental city, people here are struggling for survival and are concerned with one thing: making money... Everyone is in a terrible hurry... New Yorkers nervously smoke on the sidelines...

You come to Helsinki on vacation and suddenly notice that in this city everyone has change... Completely implausible and almost boring.

Everyone in Russia knows that most police officers want one thing - money... Everyone knows that police officers are just looking for someone to extract money from, so why pay attention to what they say? And since in Russia everything can be agreed upon, the only question is to start negotiations.

Lena believed that it was safer to pay three hundred euros to an instructor, who would split the spoils with his contactees in the police, and thus provide Lena with a driver’s license. It never occurred to her that she could get a license by simply learning to drive - it was much easier to pay for the test.

In Russia, becoming a politician is a business concept.

Communication in Russia is so important that external circumstances cease to matter. Several times I happened to barbecue in the cold and in the rain - if we decide to go to the park for barbecue, then we do so, regardless of the vagaries of the weather. Is your butt wet? Lay down the bag! Are you cold? Drink vodka and sing.

A Russian who wants to drink vodka with you makes it clear that he is friendly. The best way make friends - have a drink together. Refusal may be regarded as direct insult, a sign that you don't want to be friends.

There is no purchase that is too small not to be washed.

Smile, laugh, beg, beg, cry or yell - this is the language that Russians understand better than Finns.

The Russians are going to spend the next twelve hundred years trying to understand their own existence. Unsuccessful, of course.