Felix Krivin cruel animals. Felix Krivin - tales with morals
Children's stories for adults and adults for children
1. A TALE ABOUT THE SWITCHMAN
There was a switchman who lived here. Such a strange man. He is three hours late for work, and the trains are standing still, waiting for the road to open for them. Sometimes there are so many of them – from Uzhgorod to Mukachevo. Don't believe me? From Uzhgorod to Lviv. If you walk along the carriages, you can walk from Station Street in Uzhgorod to Station Square in Lviv.
Then they begin to figure it out: who is to blame? And they come to the conclusion that the switchman is to blame.
Switchman says:
– I’m not surprised anymore. It’s always like this with us: the slightest thing is the switchman’s fault.
And the people around are indignant, making noise: they found someone to ask! Move your bosses!
They blocked all the roads, posters pointed to the sky: “Freedom for the switchman!” The switchman is standing right there, waving a poster.
They gave him freedom. And what did he use it for? Nothing special: I decided to go visit my aunt. This is a good thing. If only the trains could be stopped during this time. But the switchman didn’t stop, he just went to his aunt. And instead of himself he left some unfamiliar boy.
If only the boy were unfamiliar with the switchman. Otherwise, he was unfamiliar with all his switch business. I moved the switch in the wrong direction and sent all trains from Uzhgorod to Vladivostok. Instead of Mukacheva. They were stopped only in Khabarovsk. Where are you going, they say, you Mukachevskys, look at yourself!
They began to figure it out - the switchman was to blame again. What kind of misfortune is this! When will we learn civilized methods of leadership? We keep talking about democracy, but if anyone is to be blamed, it will certainly be the switchman, and if someone is to be rewarded, it will certainly be the head of the railway.
Switchman says:
– I’m not surprised anymore. I have such a profession: no matter what happens, the switchman is always to blame.
No, says the switchman, I’d rather go to my aunt. She knows the whole city, let her transfer me to another job. It’s better to deal with people you know; these strangers are nothing but trouble.
And the unknown boy says:
- It’s a problem for you, but it’s not a problem for me? I'm second because of you
I skip geography. How will I know where Vladivostok is and where Mukachevo is?
2. FOURTH FROG
Three brave frogs decided to build a port.
That’s exactly what we decided: we are ours, we will build a new port, without leaving the swamp, so that it will be closer to mooring and disembarking.
The idea is, of course, wonderful. One shouts: “I will be a docker!” Another shouts: “I will be a Quaker!” And the third says: “Then I will be the speaker. Because you can’t leave a Quaker without a speaker.”
And the work began to boil. One day it boils, two days it boils. And the swamp, by the way, is calm, not a mountain ash, not a wrinkle. And the outlines of the port are nowhere to be seen, although work is in full swing around.
Then everyone started blaming each other:
- How do you croak?
- How do you prove it?
- How I speak is none of your business. Take your seats for now.
And the work is even more intense. It's boiling so much that almost all of it has boiled away. But this did not bother the brave little frogs: they still croaked, croaked and squeaked.
– Who’s dumping for you? – the fourth one emerged from the swamp. - Doesn’t anyone throw?
“Express yourself more clearly,” said the speaker. “If you don’t express yourself more clearly, I’ll deprive you of your speech altogether.”
The fourth little frog was even confused.
-You don’t know how to throw? Then look at the clock. “He took the watch off his hand. – Do you see gears inside here? To connect two gears, you need another gear between them. Otherwise, the teeth will not reach and the mechanism will not work.
– And this gear throws? - asked the Quaker and the Docker.
- Well, you are so little! – the speaker winced. “They didn’t see the broker!” Come on, make room, free up the brokerage places!
And the gears started turning. This one on the right croaks, and the one on the left croaks. And between them the middle one throws and throws... Now the outlines of the port will appear.
Will they appear? Or won't they appear?
It’s interesting: if you combine croaking and dokanye, strengthen the croaking between them, and place a spiking above them, will this make a port? Or do you need some other building materials?
3. STORKS IN CABBAGE
There is a Marlborough Peninsula in the Danish lands, which we could not find on our maps, except that something like that is found on cigarettes (though not ours either). And the Malborians live on the peninsula, a smart, savvy people—profound, in a word. The people there say that deep thinking is when you sit quietly and only wrinkle your forehead. This is what the people of the Malbor Peninsula looked like.
And it so happened that a stork got into the habit of visiting them. Even a small child knows why storks fly. They hide something in the cabbage so that people have something to find. But the Malborians began to fear that the stork might trample the cabbage. They gathered with their entire peninsula, became silent, and wrinkled their foreheads. And they began to descend deep, deep into the abyss of thought...
When they emerged from there, they said: let's invite a shepherd from the city, let him walk around the garden, scare away the stork.
It was a good idea, but the shepherd's legs turned out to be cleaner than those of the stork - not in the sense of cleanliness, of course, but in the sense of size. The peninsula residents looked at the cabbage trampled by the shepherd, wrinkled their foreheads a little more and came to this decision: select four hefty guys, let them carry the shepherd around the garden, and the shepherd will scare away the stork.
But the guys’ feet also turned out to be cleaner, not in the sense of cleanliness, and the matter ended in a big cabbage catastrophe.
- What would you do? – the Malborians asked after telling me this story.
Well, I know what to do, I’m from the country
with extensive experience in obtaining and storing crops. I would assign a dozen guys to carry those four who will carry the shepherd who will scare away the stork.
The peninsulas grinned: after all, ten guys will trample even more than four!
“It’s okay,” I said, firmly believing that
quantity will eventually turn into quality. “We’ll take twenty guys, let them carry ten, who will carry four, who will carry a shepherd, who will scare away the stork.”
Then the peninsula residents noticed that twenty guys would trample even more than ten.
How far reaching, how savvy! It’s not for nothing that they wrinkled their foreheads while we taught the whole world to reap high yields.
I suggested that they take forty guys, fifty guys, sixty guys, but they just sighed in response: where will they get so many guys? They don't have many guys at all...
Yes, of course... If the storks trampled the cabbage, the shepherds scared the storks away... Judge for yourself: where will they get guys from?
Yesterday's thoughts
I would call some sheep rams...
***The trouble is not that the truth is bitter, but that the lie is sweet.
***The word “victory” comes from the word “trouble”. Is this why we cannot have victory without adversity?
***We live well in the future. We still need to learn to live in the present.
***National executioner Currency Shkuratov.
***In a civilized state, anti-Semitism is underwear, in an uncivilized state it is outerwear.
***Life learns from death to turn a blind eye to everything.
***Sooner or later we will live well. But if it’s early, it will be early, and if it’s late, it will be late.
Felix Krivin
Tales with morals
Hey, you're falling behind, you're falling behind! - Big Arrow urges Little Arrow. - I’ve already walked so far, and you’re still marking time! You serve our time poorly!
Little Arrow stomps around and doesn’t have time. How can she keep up with the Big Strelka!
But it shows hours, not minutes.
TWO STONES
Near the very shore lay two stones - two inseparable and old friends. All day long they basked in the rays of the southern sun and seemed happy that the sea was rustling to the side and did not disturb their calm and peaceful comfort.
But then one day, when a storm broke out at sea, the friendship of two friends ended: one of them was picked up by a wave running ashore and carried away with it far out to sea.
Another stone, clinging to a rotten snag, managed to stay on the shore and for a long time could not recover from fear. And when I calmed down a little, I found new friends. These were old, dried out and cracked lumps of clay. From morning to evening they listened to the Stone's stories about how he risked his life, how he was in danger during the storm. And by repeating this story to them every day, the Stone eventually felt like a hero.
Years passed... Under the rays of the hot sun, the Stone itself cracked and was almost no different from its friends - lumps of clay.
But then the oncoming wave threw a shiny flint onto the shore, the likes of which had never been seen in these parts.
Hello, buddy! - he shouted to the Cracked Stone.
Old Stone was surprised.
Sorry, this is my first time seeing you.
Oh you! First time I see it! Have you forgotten how many years we spent together on this shore before I was carried out to sea?
And he told his old friend what he had to endure in the depths of the sea and how very interesting it was after all.
Come with me! - suggested Kremin. - You'll see real life, you will recognize real storms.
But his friend. The Cracked Stone looked at the lumps of clay, which at the word “storm” were ready to completely crumble out of fear, and said:
No, that's not for me. I’m perfectly settled here too.
Well, as you know! - Flint jumped onto the approaching wave and rushed off into the sea.
Everyone remaining on the shore was silent for a long time. Finally the Cracked Stone said:
He was lucky, so he became arrogant. Was it worth risking your life for him? Where is the truth? Where's the justice?
And the lumps of clay agreed with him that there is no justice in life.
NEEDLE IN DEBT
They don't give the Hedgehog any rest.
As soon as he curls up, settles down in his hole to sleep for a month or two, until the cold weather passes, and then there’s a knock.
May I come in?
The Hedgehog will look over the threshold, and there will be a furrier Hamster, a fur maker.
Sorry to bother you,” Khomyak apologizes. - Would you mind borrowing a needle?
What will you answer him? Hedgehog hesitates - it’s a pity to give, and he’s ashamed to refuse.
“I would be glad,” he says, “I would be glad.” Yes, I don’t have enough of them myself.
“Just for the evening,” asks Khomyak. - The customer needs to finish his fur coat, but the needle is broken.
With pain, the Hedgehog pulls out a needle for him:
I just ask you: finish your work and return it right away.
Of course, but of course! - Hamster assures and, taking a needle, hurries to finish the customer’s fur coat.
The hedgehog returns to the hole and lies down. But as soon as he begins to doze off, there is another knock.
Hello, are you still awake?
This time Liska the milliner appeared.
“Lend me a needle,” he asks. - Mine got lost somewhere. I searched and searched, but I can’t find it.
Hedgehog this way and that - nothing works. I have to lend a needle to Fox too.
After this, the Hedgehog finally manages to fall asleep. He lies there, watching his dreams, and at this time the Hamster has already finished his fur coat and hurries to the Hedgehog, bringing him a needle.
The Hamster approached the Hedgehog's hole, knocked once, twice, and then looked inside. He sees: The hedgehog is sleeping and snoring. “I won’t wake him up,” thinks Hamster. “I’ll stick a needle in his place so as not to bother him in vain, and I’ll thank him another time, if necessary.”
I found a free place on the hedgehog’s back and stuck the needle there. And how the hedgehog will jump! I didn’t understand it, of course, because I slept.
Save! - shouts. - Killed, stabbed!
“Don’t worry,” Hamster says politely. - I returned the needle to you. Thank you very much.
The Hedgehog tossed and turned for a long time and could not sleep from the pain. But he still fell asleep and, forgetting about the Hamster, went back to his dreams. Suddenly...
Ay! - yelled the Hedgehog. - Save, help!
He came to his senses a little, looked - Liska the milliner was standing next to him, smiling.
I think I scared you a little. I brought the needle. I was in such a hurry, in such a hurry, so that you wouldn’t worry.
The Hedgehog is curled up in a ball, quietly grumbling to himself. Why grumble? He gave with pain, and with pain he receives back.
"HISTORY OF A DROP",
I wrote and put a blot on the paper.
It's good that you decided to write about me! - said Blob. - I am so grateful to you!
“You’re wrong,” I replied. - I want to write about a drop.
But I’m also a drop! - insisted the Blob. - Only ink.
There are different types of ink drops, I said. - Some write letters, exercises in Russian and arithmetic, stories like this. And others, like you, only take up space on paper. Well, what can I write good about you?
The Blob is thinking.
At this time, a small Ray appears near her. The leaves of the trees outside the window are trying to keep him out of the room. They rustle after him:
Don't you dare hang out with this slut! You'll get dirty!
But Luchik is not afraid to get dirty. He really wants to help the ink drop that landed so unfortunately on the paper.
I ask Klyaksa:
Do you really want me to write about you?
I really want to,” she admits.
Then you have to earn it. Trust Ray. He will take you, free you from the ink, and you will become a clean, transparent drop. There will be a job for you, just make sure you don’t refuse any work.
Okay,” agrees Drop. Now we can call it that.
I stand at the window and look at the clouds that float into the distance.
Somewhere there, among them, is my Drop. And I wave to her:
Goodbye, Drop! Bon Voyage!
And far, far away, in the sultry steppe, Kolos sways in the wind. He knows that he must grow big and that for this he needs moisture. He knows that without rain he will dry out in the sun and will not repay the people who look after him so carefully. There is only one thing Kolos does not know: our agreement with the Drop.
Don't cry, girl!
Old Popka is not a fool, no matter what, but he understands life. And he says to the young Hen, escorting her to eternal life:
- What does the law of eternity say? As you were, so you remain. The way you leave this life is the way you will remain forever in eternity.
Old Popka can talk!” As you were, so you remain! This should not be said, but sung. But Popka is a master of the conversational genre.
“Your years are your wealth,” he says, and these words also beg for song. “By my years, I should die in the next world, but by yours, you are guaranteed eternal youth.”
But the Chicken doesn’t want to eternal youth, she hasn’t made money yet in this youth. She has a Cockerel here, she promised him to lay an egg. Have you ever laid an egg on your favorite rooster?
- Don't cry, girl! - old Popka consoles her. - You are going into eternal youth. What should I say, the old turkey? They will ask me: where did you spend your youth? Where did you squander it, screw it up? And what will I answer? Maybe I won’t be allowed into eternal life at all. - Old Popka sobbed. - Of course, young people love us everywhere (we need to sing this, sing it!), including the road to the slaughterhouse, but where should the old people go? - He cried: - Overcome by the withering of old age, I will no longer be young...
Well, where, where does he get such words from?
And the Chicken consoles him. He says that all is not lost for him either. His experience, his knowledge can be useful there too...
That's what the Chicken says. And he forgets about the egg. And he forgets about the cockerel. And with a cheerful, cheerful step he goes to eternal youth
Running to an unknown distance Life rushed with leaps and bounds, and Fate trotted along behind it and persuaded:
- Don’t run like that, my grief, I don’t have any strength anymore! There will be a turn over the hill, a wonderful turn, such turns few people get. I saved it for you, and tore it away from others. Literally pulled it out of my teeth.
But life either doesn’t hear, or is thinking about something - it scratches past the turn.
- What are you doing? - Fate bursts into tears. - Who did I try for? Such a turn! Keep in mind that such turns cannot be made twice!
And life moves on, without looking back at Fate.
- Turn! - Fate shouts.
Life is turning around.
- Turn!
Life is not up to him.
- Wipe your eyes! - Fate no longer screams, but screams. - Everything is written right there on the signs!!
Where there! More reading! There is a wide road ahead.
Fate should have left this crazy one behind a long time ago. But Fate feels responsible. They entrusted her with this Life, they said: “Look!”
There would be someone to look at: only heels flash ahead.
Then they stopped flashing. Tired of life, she sat down on a hillock and became thoughtful. She put her palm to her forehead and looked back at the path she had traveled.
Fate runs up. I was completely out of breath. To hell with this kind of work. She sat down next to her, caught her breath, and blew her nose. Well, he asks, what are we going to do now?
Life says:
- Yes, I see: you and I missed something.
- We missed it! - Fate put his hands on his hips. - No, just look at her! And who did I tell, who did I scream to, who did I cry bitterly?
- What do you mean? - asks Life, coming to his senses and about to run back.
- Otherwise. Now why look back? Late. We do not provide for turning back.
Life, as usual, comes with scandal. How and why? Who's in charge here? They are all like that, life, give them everything at once.
Then she cried. How did she miss everything? She began to complain about fate. Who should I complain to?
I pulled myself together. I dried myself off and perked up.
“Then,” he says, “go ahead.” Forward and only forward! Until new turns!
- Until what turns? - Fate has already spat. - Fie on you! Look at what you're sitting on: it's a grave!
__________________________________________________ ___________________________________________
MEGILLAH
Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull? You say - tell, I say - tell. Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull?.. I live in this fairy tale.
It's right next to the forest, just short of it. If you walk along the road, you need to turn off at the kiosk and follow the path, but the path leads straight to our lawn.
Our place is good, no worse than others. The grass is tall, there is a tree in the middle, and under the tree we are with a bull. The lawn is small, but not crowded for two.
The forest begins right behind us - Baba Yaga's farm. Some people start flower beds, others - a garden or vegetable garden, but Baba Yaga started herself dark forest And
settled there in her hut on chicken legs. One can also understand her: the old lady lives alone, the children she had left long ago, so she surrounded herself with
darkness, so that no one would look at her old age.
True, not everyone thinks so. There's a big one across the road from us blue fairy tale, on the shore of which stands an old fisherman. Every day he casts his net and everything
caught and released back into the sea, although he is a poor old man and has an evil old woman. Because ordinary fish doesn't suit him, he needs to catch goldfish.
This goes back to the time when his old woman was a red maiden and he decided to catch something special for her. And so it passed
a whole life, the beautiful girl has become an evil, ugly old woman, but the old man does not notice this, it seems to him that everything remains the same...
If you follow the path from us, you will come to the stall where Cinderella sells. This is her fairy tale, or rather, not hers, but her aunt’s, the good sorceress.
Cinderella lives with her aunt and sells magic wands at a stall. Trade is going well because she sells the sticks for free. Always in front of her stall
queue: many people buy magic wands for firewood.
- Good afternoon, how are you doing here?
This is Zmey Gorynych, a neighbor. The one whose son is Thumb. Since the Serpent adopted the Boy, he himself is unrecognizable: he did such things before, but
now you can't even hear him. He will pass by - bow and even invite him to visit - to look at the Boy.
This is how we live. In the middle we are with a bull, around are our neighbors. Or maybe we are not in the middle, maybe it just seems so...
Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull? Every day we start over...
2. CINDERELLA
We have a lawn, there is a tree on the lawn, and under the tree we are with a bull. The bull and I are one or two out of number, and we are really missing someone else...
Well, of course, not just anyone...
“Cinderella,” I say, “why do you need this aunt’s fairy tale?” It’s not a long time to live in it.
I'm a weirdo. I do not understand anything. Because how can she leave the stall?
Someone must be selling magic wands.
- For free?
Certainly. For more miracles.
- But many people buy them for firewood!
It turns out that they buy firewood. All the magic is not in the wand, but in what you buy it for.
“Cinderella,” I say, “do you feel bad on our lawn?” We also have a tree, although only one tree, but when it gets dark, it’s like being in a forest. AND
Will we live and live under this tree, make good things - what’s bad?
- Live and live? - Cinderella responds in fear. - But this is the end of the fairy tale. When this happens, it’s already over.
I calm her down. There will be no end to her and me. After all, we have a fairy tale about a white bull. I want to tell her a fairy tale about a white bull, but she tells me
your fairy tale.
In the fairy tale in which Cinderella lived before, she had little joy. Evil stepmother, evil sisters, no matter how much you work - no gratitude. But then Cinderella
The prince fell in love with her, she became his bride, and then the worst thing happened: everyone began to live and live well, making good things.
The shoe was no longer carried around the city in search of Cinderella - now Cinderella was carried around the city in search of shoes, ball gowns, pearls and other items
the first royal necessity.
Cinderella lived in a palace. Before becoming a princess, she needed to get used to new conditions. She needed to get used to the soft bed and delicious food, to
to lackeys who guess thoughts from a distance, and to advisers who suggest thoughts from a distance.
Cinderella made her way to the stable, where there were trotters that looked like the good sorceress’s trotters, and asked:
- Horses, horses, what kind of mousetrap are you from?
The trotters snorted contemptuously in response: they considered it humiliating to come from a mousetrap.
Cinderella approached the footman:
- a kind person, could you become a lizard again?
And the footman answered as all footmen answer:
- As your honor pleases.
Cinderella remembered more and more often about her cramped closet. It was damp and cold there and you had to work a lot, but there the mice turned into trotters, and the pumpkin into
carriage. Here, carriages do not grow in the garden, they are made famous masters, and diamonds here are just diamonds, and gold is just gold.
- Why aren’t you happy? - the prince asked Cinderella.
- I'm not happy.
- That's not the reason. Why aren't you having fun?
- I am not happy.
- That's not the reason.
It ended with Cinderella taking off her shoes and leaving the palace barefoot. Together with his aunt, they opened a stall and sell magic wands there.
- But for many it’s just firewood!
She is laughing:
- If you really want, even your twig can become with a magic wand.
- When will the sticks run out? After all, everything in the world has an end. Only our fairy tale has no end, because everything repeats itself for us.
But she said that nothing in life should be repeated, that repetition is the same as the end. And what is better to have one simple stick, which, if
want, can become magical than having a whole kingdom and not wanting anything else.
MEGILLAH
The path runs out from the lawn and runs past the stall. No, she doesn’t run past - she stops and waits for something for a long time. What is she waiting for?
That someone will leave the stall and step onto our path?
- Moo! - says my bull.
What is “mu” is “mu”. Indeed, there is no better way to say it.
And the path is still waiting. She stands at the stall and does not want to move further. And I keep looking at her: is she waiting or not?
Dusk is deepening, our forest is approaching us, and the bull clings to me: he is scared.
Is she waiting or not?
I tell him a story. I tell our favorite fairy tale about a white bull who fell in love with a white crow...
One evening this white bull saw something white on the fence. Maybe his owner hung some laundry out to dry, or maybe she hung up a notice that
Is there a bull for sale, still young, but of a good breed? The white bull knew nothing about this, and he decided that he was sitting on the fence White crow.
He could hardly wait for the morning and immediately ran to the fence. But - either the laundry had dried, or the hostess had taken down her advertisement - in general, the white bull saw that the crow was his
flew away.
He walked around the yard, looked at the trees and raised his head so much that everyone laughed at him, they said that he was catching crows, although he only needed one
crow.
- White crow? - the horse shook its head.
- Maybe a white gate?
- Maybe a new gate? - the ram inquired.
- Maybe a new trough? - the pig clarified.
My bull opens his eyes wide to drive away a scary fairy tale, and then I end not the way it was in the fairy tale, but the way we ourselves came up with. This
our favorite ending:
- He left the yard and has been wandering around the world ever since. He follows a cloud, then a white smoke, looks at the snowy peaks and the white sails in the distance...
Is there really no white crow in this world for a white bull?
- Moo! - my bull says joyfully. He has no doubt that the white crow will be found.
BOY-TO-THING
Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull? The third day we walk with him along the mountain road, moving further and further from our fairy tale, in which everything repeats itself,
repeats... Because repetition is the same as the end. Why do we need to end? The bull and I are still young...
A mountainous country, the domain of our neighbor Gorynych... It seems close, but we are walking for three days, because distances in the mountains are special distances...
Gorynych’s house emerged from behind the mountain, as if he wanted to run across our path, and then froze in the middle, gaping at the unexpected guests.
I tie the bull to the gate so that it doesn’t fall somewhere, and I myself enter the house.
At a big table, like a man on huge field, Little Thumb is working. He doesn't notice me. I stop behind him and watch him
carefully writes in a notebook:
1 wolf + 7 kids = 1 wolf.
-Where is dad?
He looked up from his notebook with pleasure and looked at me with cheerful eyes.
- I went to consult someone.
- What should I consult about?
Little Thumb laughed into his fist, however, restrainedly, since it was about his father.
- We know what it’s about. About my upbringing. He doesn’t know how to educate at all, so he goes for advice.
And Thumb Boy told about his latest prank.
They have a Frog Princess in their class. She, of course, is more of a frog than a princess, but she imagines it’s the other way around. Just wait, he says, an arrow will fly to me,
and the prince will find me using it.
The boy fell silent and frowned.
- Well, I took and shot this arrow. As if from the prince.
- And she believed?
- I believed it. Now he runs around with this arrow.
-Are you laughing?
“We laugh,” nodded Thumb and frowned even more.
Poor Frog! We sit here and talk, and she is there waiting for her prince and, when she goes somewhere, she warns the neighbors: “There is one prince here
should come. Let him wait, I won’t be long.”
That's when a magic wand would come in handy... But Cinderella says, if you really want, even a twig can become a magic wand. There is a twig
All you have to do is want it. I really want to...
I strained with all my might and waved the twig.
5. THE FROG QUEEN
There was a knock on the door and a girl appeared on the threshold. An ordinary girl, but not a frog at all.
- What do we need for arithmetic? - she asked from the doorway and was embarrassed when she saw me.
The boy was also embarrassed. He looked at me, and - children are well versed in such things - his gaze settled on the twig. Apparently, realizing what had happened, he
calmed down and said:
- Come in!
And he glanced sideways at the twig.
“I just need to ask,” said the Frog Princess, addressing me rather than the Boy.
I turned to the window.
The weather began to deteriorate: raindrops appeared on the glass. It seems that these streams are rolling from the mountains - from those mountains that are visible from the window of the house. I move the twig along
glass, but not stop the mountain streams.
There's a conversation behind my back:
“It’s wrong here,” the voice of the Frog Princess. - One wolf plus seven kids equals seven kids.
- But he's a wolf. Understand? Wolf!
- But there are seven of them.
“The wolf will eat the kids anyway,” the Boy says with conviction.
- So you want him to eat them?
- I want? I don't want to at all!
- Why do you decide like that?
I approach them and now I can take a closer look at the girl. There is still something of a frog in her: a large mouth and greenish eyes. And she's dressed in old clothes
a green dress, altered from an even older one. And on her head she has two pigtails that look like horns (my little bull’s dream). With one hand the girl corrects
pigtails, and the other is clutching something hidden in his bosom.
- What do you have?
The Frog Princess immediately forgot about arithmetic.
- This is my arrow. The prince sent it to me. He should use this arrow to find me. It's very difficult to find me because I live in such a place... But according to this
The prince will find me in an arrow, and we will go far, far away, perhaps to a distant kingdom...
- But why did you decide that this was an arrow from the prince?
- And from whom else? - She smiled, as if there really was no one else to wait for the arrow from.
- What if the prince still doesn’t come?
- Is this the prince?
And how confident she is that everything will happen exactly as she imagined!
“Well,” I say, “the prince has nothing to do with it.” They were just making fun of you.
- So I believed you! - She pressed the arrow closer to herself. - I’d better go, I still have to teach physics - about magic lamp Aladdin.
- But if you don’t believe me, let him confirm it himself.
The boy is silent. He doesn't look up from his notebook. The princess looks at him, and her eyes, two green islands, widen (this happens at low tide) - and
suddenly (this happens during high tide) they begin to be filled with water.
- What you? Because of which? Aren't you better off knowing the truth?
Green islands are drowning. Now these are not even islands, these are ships that have crashed.
Thumb Boy lowered his head even lower.
- If only my father knew how to educate... If only he weren’t so weak-willed...
- You're wrong, your father is not weak-willed. I have known him since he was Zmey Gorynych.
- Who was?
- Zmey Gorynych. Do you know how they shook in front of him? Just a little - and there is no person.
“That’s not true,” says Thumb. - You're making it all up.
- I'm not making anything up. You can ask your father yourself.
1 wolf + 7 kids = 1 wolf.
The seven kids blur, they can no longer be read.
1 wolf + (something vague) = 1 wolf.
Only a wet spot from the kids. This is because the boy is crying.
- Drip, drip, drip! - this is Little Thumb.
- Drip, drip, drip! - This is the Frog Princess.
- Drip, drip, drip! - the rain is knocking outside the window.
Before a person has time to open his eyes, tears immediately pour out of them.
6. Humpbacked Horse
The road ran down into the valley and went slowly. Sometimes a path separated from it, leading to an unknown place, just so as not to go in the general flow. It was a pity to watch
how she, helpless, tries to break through, pave own way, also become a leading road somewhere. Another path dives into the bushes, and from there
a faint rustling sound is heard. We listen, part the bushes, and there he is sitting in front of us.
Judging by the hump, this is a local camel, but judging by the ears, this is a local hare. True, the tail and hooves suggest that it is more likely a horse, and even more likely
- strong point, given the size.
“Now,” says the horse, “now I’ll wake her up!”
-Who is this?
- Sleeping beauty. Is it possible to sleep when this is happening around?
He began to tell what was happening around. I've probably heard about the Bremen Town Musicians? So.
Kicked out The Bremen Town Musicians robbers and began to live in their house. They live, they live, they make good (that’s right!). The donkey carries water, the rooster crows at the gate,
The dog guards the house, and the cat takes care of the storerooms.
The cat snooped, snooped and snuck out boots. He pulled them on, twirled his mustache and gave the command: “You, donkey, watch the house, this suits you better. You, rooster, carry water.”
And you, dog, let’s crow!”
There is nothing to do - you have to obey: after all, the cat is in boots!
The rooster carries water drop by drop in his beak, and the dog squeals and whines - he learns to crow.
“Somehow they’re sad for me,” the cat worries. “It’s no different - they’re jealous of the boots. The rooster over there has spurs, but no boots...”
He called the donkey. “I don’t like our rooster. Go hit him with your hoof.”
Then they live without a rooster. The donkey guards the house, and the dog crows for itself and even carries water for the rooster.
-What is she unhappy with? - the cat is surprised.
“Go,” says the donkey, “hit the dog with your hoof!”
Then they live without a dog. The donkey carries water. The donkey is guarding the house. And in free time the donkey crows.
- Well, if such an ass...
It's not about the donkey, says the horse. I must have heard of the Brave Tailor? So. After he won there, everyone calmed down and began to get on with their lives.
(live and live!). Only the tailor himself cannot calm down: all his exploits are in his head.
And then the smallest clerk, without a name or patronymic, comes to the king and says:
- Let me see him, Your Majesty. He will calm down with me.
The king did not believe it:
- Did you read what it says on his belt? After all, when he is angry, he kills seven!
The clerk just chuckled into his sleeve:
- Nothing, Your Majesty, just let me get to him!
“I’m fooling you,” the king waved him off. - Go, I admit.
The Brave Tailor's clerk is calling. He sits himself, hiding his eyes at the table, and the tailor stands in front of him, shifting from foot to foot. The clerk waited a few times
minutes and then says:
- So-so...
The tailor shifted from foot to foot.
- What is it? Speak directly!
And then the clerk looked up at him. Blue eyes, with a slight drag.
- So... - he paused again. - So-so...
The tailor felt something cold inside.
- I don’t understand you... In what sense - right?..
The clerk rose to his full height short stature.
- So that's it? Well, let's write it down!
I couldn't stand it here Brave Tailor:
- Don't write it down! - asks. - Just don’t write it down!
A clerk is sitting at the table, a little clerk, without a name or patronymic, and in front of him stands the Brave Tailor. So meek, he wouldn't hurt a fly...
Is this fair? - asks the horse.
- Well, if you're so brave...
It's not about courage, says the horse. I've probably heard about Little Red Riding Hood? Well, after the wolf ate her, everyone began to live and live well
make money And the wolf put on a red cap, and no one could guess that he was a wolf.
And then he comes out to the people from the forest and says:
“Citizens,” he says and adjusts the red cap on his head, “that this is happening here is a real disaster!” Where are our brave musicians? There is none of them. Where
our brave tailors? There is none of them. And then another one, I don’t remember the last name, devoured the girl. Am I right, grandma?
A tear-stained grandmother was pushed out of the crowd.
- That's right, son, that's right! If you want, I’ll tell you my last name!
- Last name?
- Last name, son! Last name?! Last name, my dear!
“Okay, give me your last name,” says the wolf, taking off his red cap.
Do you understand in what sense he took off this cap? - the horse explained to me. - In the sense that now he has nothing to be ashamed of... That's how things are... - He
paused. - And this beauty is sleeping and doesn’t suspect anything.
- But can she really help? Does it really depend on her?
- Well, you know! - the horse reared up. - If everyone talks like this... It doesn’t depend on one, it doesn’t depend on another, but on whom does it depend? From a gray wolf?
There are so many fairy tales in the world, and each has its own troubles.
- Wait, don’t get excited...
- Yes, I'm excited! - said the horse. - I am excited and will continue to be excited until I wake up this Sleeping Beauty and everyone else who is sleeping!
- Why should you wake everyone up?
It turns out that this is a very important question - who will wake up. Because if the beauty is awakened by robbers, then she will also become a robber, and if so, it’s better for her
never wake up. By the way, these brothers-robbers have long been plotting to wake her up, and these are such brothers... They each have four guns.
- When you want to wake someone up, the main thing is to isolate the robber brothers! - says the little humpbacked horse.
Sleeping Beauty sleeps, but she is still a beauty. The horse does not close his eyes, but he is far from handsome. He is skinny, tortured, as if he holds the whole world on his hump.
Eruslan Lazarevich was also found! You can't even see him from the ground, and he still wants to compete with the robbers! It would be nice if there was a real horse.
What if it was a twig? Take a twig and - once!
- Do you see this twig?
At the sight of the twig he backed away.
- Leave it alone, now is not the time to joke.
- I'm not joking.
I just had to want it. I really want this little humpbacked horse to become a big and strong handsome man...
“Let’s get down to business,” said the horse. - You need to make it while it’s light, otherwise you won’t be able to wake her up after...
He wanted to say something else, but then I tensed up and waved the twig.
My little bull, who had been wide-eyed in fear, is now wide-eyed in admiration. It’s as if the humpbacked horse has been replaced: the ears have become shorter, the legs have become longer, and the back has become longer
straightened up. And growth, growth! Really heroic!
- See, you didn’t want to. Now wake up your beauty. The horse raised his beautiful head and narrowed his beautiful eyes.
- Wake me up? I'll wake you up!
- What about the donkey? Let him crow? And the Brave Tailor? You should have helped everyone!
The horse is simply a miracle: strong, beautiful. He looked me up and down, measured my bull.
- First of all, I don’t owe anyone anything. And secondly - why on earth is this? - He lay down on the grass, stretching out beautiful body. - Let everyone try for themselves.
- A Gray wolf? What about the robber brothers? After all, they have four guns per brother!
The horse seemed to be lifted to its feet by the wind and shook as if from the wind.
- I won’t... I don’t want to... Take me to the stables!
7. THE QUEEN IS NOT LAUGHTER
Aty, baty, the soldiers were walking,
Ata, baht, to the market.
Aty, baht, what did you buy?
Aty, baty, samovar.
Aty, baht, how much does it cost?
Aty, baht, three rubles...
Aty-bats, like scissors, cut space, now moving away from us, then approaching us again, and we cannot understand the meaning of these activities. Ten steps there -
ten steps back. Twenty steps there - twenty steps back. No matter how far they go, they always return to their old place.
Could I go like this? I probably couldn't. Aty-bats can, because life is extremely clear to them and they have answers to everything. Where to go? To the market.
What to buy? Samovar. How much should I give for it? Three rubles and not a penny more.
But then, finally, the samovar, about which they have so much talk, appears, so it is placed on the ground, and the aty-bats sit down around it.
I leave my hiding place, leaving my bull there just in case.
- Hello guys.
- Oh, great! Do you want some tea? Hey, where's our extra cup?
We are getting acquainted. Aty-baty are presented in turn:
- Little peas.
- Roll out the peas.
- Peas.
- Rolling peas.
Actually, they are all Peas, and the only thing that distinguishes them is their profession. One was a coachman, he gave rides to the Tsar and the ministers (“Roll, Pea!”), the second rolled out barrels of
wine (“Roll out, Peas!”), the third watered the streets (“Roll out, Peas!”), the fourth simply wandered around, not staying anywhere for long (“Roll out the peas”). But now
they on military service, so they all have the same thing.
- What's the matter?
They looked at each other and became dignified.
- Have you heard about Nesmeyana? Here you go. So we are protecting her.
Nesmeyana is a princess. Not a real princess, but a poor girl who was taken to the palace for fun. They have King Pea reigning here, and all his ministers are
Pea jokes. So they took it to the palace poor girl. For laughs.
- So what?
- So much for it. They took her, and instead of being happy, she cried all day long. It just spoils everyone's mood. Well, they locked her up. To have fun.
Night has come. The aty-bats fell asleep, and only one remained at the post - Katigoroshek. He stood as one should stand at his post: firm shoulders, firm chest and firm
gaze directed into space. But then he raised his gaze upward - there, to the tower window, and barely audibly called:
- Nesmeyana!
A girl appeared at the window.
“Nesmeyana,” Katigoroshek whispered, “listen new joke. One king had a son, and the son had a wife, and the wife had a father-in-law. And this father-in-law was also a king...
Katigoroshka told a joke, emphasizing the funny parts, and even depicting some things.
- Isn't it funny? - he inquired. - And here’s another joke... You’ll laugh out loud!
The princess did not laugh.
“Just look into it, just imagine,” Katigoroshek took a breath and whispered again, every now and then looking back at his sleeping comrades:
- I remember I gave our guy a ride, it was a laugh!
Here he interrupted the story, because his time was up - Vykatigoroshek was in a hurry to replace him. This guard froze menacingly at his post and stood motionless until
his comrade was going to bed. But as soon as everything was quiet, he raised his head and called:
- Nesmeyana!
And again the princess is in the window.
-Aren't you laughing? - asked Vykatipea. - You are in vain. If you have to laugh, there's nothing you can do about it. We are all peas in the world, we do whatever they tell us to do. - He suddenly
made a face and stuck out his tongue:
- And your entire back is behind you!
The princess did not smile.
- Do you hear? You probably don't hear? I say: your back is behind. Understand? Behind the back!
No, the princess did not smile. Then he walked away a decent distance and walked towards her with small steps, carrying his inflammatory smile from a distance, but halfway
fell to the ground, got up and said with a smile that was not damaged at all by the fall:
- Almost fell.
The princess did not smile.
- Do you know how a barrel rolls?
Little Pea lay down on the ground and rolled over from his back to his stomach several times. Then he stood up, brushed himself off and said:
- You see, you yourself don’t want to...
Then the time came for him to relieve himself from his post, and in his place stood the impregnable Okatigoroshek. He stood without taking his eyes off one point, located in
in the opposite direction from the place he was supposed to guard, and tried not to blink, so as not to close his eyes even for a split second. But soon
he also spoke:
“Princess,” he said, “we have such a king, such ministers... Princess, this is just funny: why aren’t you the only one laughing?”
She didn't answer.
- Fine. Let's say you have your reasons. But, princess, put yourself in our position: do you think it’s fun for us to guard you? It's much more fun to water roads than to walk
on them without any sense - back and forth. But we are not of our own free will, princess, we do not have our own will, we do what we are told...
“I’ll pay now,” said the princess.
- No, no, please, not this! I wanted to make you laugh, and suddenly you burst into tears - it’s even funny...
- There's nothing funny.
- No? Why not, you just don’t see it. And look, take a closer look... I assure you, if you look closely...
“How funny you are,” said the princess.
- Yes, I'm funny, I'm very funny! You can’t even imagine how funny I am!.. But... why don’t you laugh?
The night is over. Aty-baty is on his feet again. Ten steps there - ten steps back. Twenty steps there - twenty steps back.
I untie the bull and wave goodbye to them with a twig. I wave the twig and say to myself:
- Let the princess laugh at them!
KING PEA
His palace.
The first thing we see is an open window. The first thing we hear is deafening laughter coming from the window. This laughter shakes the whole palace, and
It seems that he is laughing, opening his window wide. We want to pass by, but then the head of the king appears in the window, accompanied by the heads of the ministers.
“Hey, you,” King Pea shouts. -Where are you taking your donkey?
“This is not a donkey,” I say and put the bull in front so that the king can see it better.
- Shut up! - the king rejoices. - I’m asking him, not you!
He wants to say that he is asking my bull. And the donkey, they say, is me. That's what he's joking about.
- So, you say, not an ass?
The heads of the ministers roll with laughter and roll off the window together. Only the cheerful head of King Pea remains.
“Oh,” says the king, “you completely killed me!” Nothing to say, funny guy. So what do you say? Not a donkey? This is what I soaked! Wait a minute, I'm about to
I'll come out to you!
The king disappeared through the window and immediately appeared on the steps.
- So, you say, not an ass? It's okay, it's witty.
The king sits down on the step and removes the crown from his head, revealing a magnificent, downright royal bald spot.
“It’s hot today in the crown,” the king explains his actions. - And generally without a headdress - it’s somehow healthier for the body. A? How do you find it?
- I don't know.
- Do not you know? - the king laughed and laughed for a long time, until he cried. - It's nothing, it's witty. I see you won't get bored. Who is this? - the king is cunning
winked: - Not an ass?
- No, it's a bull.
- Not fried, no? I can't stand raw bulls!
- It's not raw, it's alive!
King Pea strokes the bull on the back and pats his ears:
- He’s alive for himself, but for us he’s just raw, right?
The conversation takes such a turn that I feel I need to get out quickly. But the king is not going to let us go, he has only just gotten the hang of the conversation.
- So this is how you say it: from fairy tale to fairy tale? Are you traveling? Well, it’s nothing: I have half a kingdom walking around the world. Rolling peas. But it's interesting
know: what can you say about the robber nightingale?
It is not clear why he remembered the nightingale? Probably because he also flies from fairy tale to fairy tale.
- I can tell you a lot about the nightingale. This is such a bird!
“Well said,” the king praised me. - Well, tell me. You tell me, and I’ll listen - what kind of bird is the robber nightingale.
- Why do you say that he is a robber? Has he done anything?
- What a joker! - the king laughed. - What a merry fellow! So you don’t know whether he’s a robber or not?
The king suddenly stopped laughing and said quite seriously:
- The little fox-sister ate the brother-rabbit. Brother wolf ate little fox-sister. In such a situation, we must not forget about the nightingale the robber, we must not close our eyes
his eyes... What a laugh!
He laughed again, but I could not forget his serious expression.
“I’m not closing it,” I said. - I, honestly, I’m not closing it!
- Well, how about it? - The king smiled widely. - Is he a robber or not a robber?
“Aty, baht, three rubles,” sounds in my head. I'm trying to get rid of this phrase, but it keeps sounding and sounding, and, having become completely confused, turns into
something completely ridiculous: “And you’re a tweedledee!” Who is this - you? My bull? Nightingale? Or perhaps Princess Nesmeyana? Aty, baht, three rubles, and you
tweedledee! That's how, when you need to find words, you never find them.
“A robber,” I say and, feeling that this is not at all the same, I add: “Just think, such a nightingale - and such a robber!” And in appearance - small, inconspicuous
bird...
- Wait, wait - who are you talking about? The Nightingale the Robber is not a bird, but a giant, a real monster... - He paused and suddenly - as if he remembered something: - And
this... bird is a nightingale?.. So she is also a robber?
"What kind of robber is she?" - I wanted to say, but I looked at him and lost all my words again. I look at King Pea, and I want to close my eyes, but I
I remember that they cannot, cannot, cannot be closed... And again it turns out to be tweedledum.
“Robber,” I say, “robber.”
- Well, you're great! - the king laughed. - Balagur! Shirt guy! Hey! - he shouted, putting on his crown. - Find the nightingale! - and continued, turning to me: -
So, you say, not an ass? This is nothing, witty!
I started to get ready, but he held me back again:
- You are a funny guy, and I love you for it. But I don’t like these peas, because they are all kind of gloomy. Also - they came up with: the one who laughs well
has the last laugh. Who will be first, I ask you?
I myself, of course, try. Both me and my ministers. Hey! - the king shouted, and the ministers appeared at the window, cackling merrily. - You see, we are doing everything we can.
King Pea sat down more tightly and took off the crown from his head.
- Where are you from?
- From a fairy tale about a white bull.
- Well, how is it there? What do you hear? What's the news?
- Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull?
- Go ahead, lay it out!
- You say - lay it out, I say - lay it out. Tell you
a fairy tale about a white bull?
“Nothing,” the king chuckled approvingly, “it’s a clever idea.”
- You say it’s invented, I say it’s invented. Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull?
Then the minister ran up to the king:
- Your Majesty! Nesmeyana laughs!
Apparently, my twig worked after all.
- Laughing? - asked the king, no longer laughing, but, on the contrary, very seriously.
- And how does she laugh? From the heart?
- Now let’s clarify, Your Majesty!
- Specify! - the king ordered briefly. And he turned to me with the same smile: “So what kind of bull were you talking about?” About this black one?
- You say black, I say black...
- So, you say he's black? - King Pea interrupted me. - That's what I see - a dark personality...
- You say - a dark personality, I say - a dark personality...
- So it's dark? Oh, he is a robber!
- You say - a robber, I say - a robber...
- Why were you silent before? - the king stood up from the steps and put the crown on
head: - Hey, guards! Take this robber!
The pea jesters rolled out of the palace, picked up the bull and rolled away.
- Wait, where are you going? This is my bull!
- You say - my bull, I say - my bull...
- But he's mine!
- You say - mine, I say - mine... Indeed, a clever idea. And why are you waving the twig? You're not a herd here!
I waved the twig to get my bull back, I really wanted to get the bull back, but the twig didn’t work... Or did I not want it bad enough? I turned around
and wandered out of the palace.
Oh great, sit down and have some tea!
The aty-bats are resting again, surrounding the samovar they so successfully purchased.
- Thank you, I don’t want to.
- And we, as you can see, are guarding. All hers, Nesmeyanu.
Girlish laughter could be heard from the tower.
- But if she laughs, why guard her? If she laughs, does that mean she's doing the right thing?
- Well, brother, how can I say... You can also laugh in different ways. But Nesmeyana doesn’t laugh the way everyone else laughs... Not in the same sense...
- And they took the bull from me... I told the king a fairy tale, and he took the bull from me...
And then Rolling Pea, who had previously been silent, spoke up. When a person is silent, it is not known what kind of words are hidden in him, and these are such words... I would
I personally forbade people to remain silent, let them say whatever they think, so that everything they think would be known.
- Cudgel! - said Rolling Pea. - The oaf of the king of heaven! I found someone to tell stories to!
9. BLUEBIRD
There was no state in the Thirtieth State. There was only an oak tree, around which a learned cat walked, tied with a chain.
- Such a scientist - and on a chain?
- On a chain. Every link of it is a link of my life. When I was young, I would run mindlessly through the forest. But then I began to understand something, and then it appeared
the first link... - The cat walked around the tree and continued: - While the chain was short, I did not give it of great importance. I put a watch on it and hid it in
pocket... I still had a pocket then... You know, like a vest... - He sighed: - I still had a vest then...
Then he discovered that we were standing and began to fuss with the awkwardness of a master who has made a mistake. He sat me down and sat down himself, carefully folding his chain.
- That's it - the longer you live, the longer the chain and the harder it is to carry. That's why we all bend over into old age.
The chain was not gold - no, the cat’s life was not gold. It was old and rusty, cast according to a general model and not even adjusted to the height.
- And I had a rope. Do you know the rope? You hold one end and tie the bull to the other...
- I know the rope. I know everything in the world of rope because I'm old scientist cat.
He stood up and walked around the oak tree. He threw the chain over his shoulder and dragged it, grunting and groaning. Having done full circle, he turned back and dragged the chain to the previous
place.
“That’s it,” said the cat. - And you say - Blue bird.
I didn’t say anything, but the cat apparently didn’t answer me - he answered his own thoughts.
“Blue bird...” he answered. - Say better - Bluebeard. When offered one of two, I choose the third.
And he began to talk about the terrible knight Bluebeard, who killed his wives because they believed not in him, but in some Blue Bird.
- He dealt with these women, and I was his scientist cat. Sometimes he would become mopey and ask: “Listen, cat, why is this so: how many wives have I loved without memory, and
I don’t remember who I loved?” “Such,” I say, “life.” He will sigh: “You are a smart cat, a scientist. But tell me why this is so: you take a young wife, and leave her -
old?" - “Such,” I say, “life.” Then he strokes his blue beard: “And you know everything, cat, you have the answers to everything.” True, he only talks about the old age of his wives.
said. And he did not abandon them at all, but killed them, and all of them young.
The cat spoke calmly, as if we were talking about the most ordinary things. It was clear that he had not been bothered by this story for a long time.
- Bluebeard had a castle - big, I don’t remember how many rooms. And there was one room there that he forbade anyone to enter; maybe he had an office there,
maybe a personal library. But wives - stupid women, they decided that he was hiding the Blue Bird from them. The one that should bring happiness, but in fact
brings nothing but trouble. And just think:
They had everything that could be desired on earth. What else do you need? Walk on water? Float through the air? But life is life...
The sun set on the top of the oak tree, dangled on it like a lantern, and began to descend, crawling from branch to branch. It blushed for its caution and yet
It moved slowly, and it was clear that the sun, always so high, was also afraid of heights.
Life is life, as well said! Simple words, but everything is in them. They include the little humpbacked horse, the robber brothers, and King Pea with his jesters. In them
all the fairy tales that we visited with the bull, and maybe one that we never visited.
- We were looking for a fairy tale here. One that has no end... Do you happen to know?
The cat stood up and leaned against the tree.
“I know all the fairy tales,” he said, and the sun, creeping down the branches, fell on his head. So he stood, with his learned paws folded on his chest, looking somewhere
far, far away and said:
- On the sea, on the ocean, on the island of Buyan there is a baked bull, crushed garlic in his mouth... An owl flew, a cheerful head. So she flew and flew and sat down with her tail
I turned it around and looked around... My friend, do you see this chain? Every part of it is a fairy tale. Believe me, I am an old learned cat, I once had a vest, and
there is a pocket in the vest, and a watch on a chain in the pocket.
I looked at this watch and it seemed to me - time is running forward, but it went into reverse side. And while I was looking at the clock, best time gone, and that's all that's left
he's left...
- My friend, compare the links of this chain, and you will understand that all fairy tales are similar to one another. And what does it mean - a fairy tale has no end?
The cat got up and walked around the oak tree. As he walked, his chain wound around the oak tree and became shorter and shorter...
- Here I come. I'm going, I'm going, I'm going... What? Is there nowhere else to go? Would you say this is the end of the fairy tale? And I will say - no. I just turn around and walk in the opposite direction.
I'm going, I'm going, I'm going... There's nowhere to go again? I'll turn back again. The main thing here is to go, but going there or back is no longer important.
- But repetition is the same as the end?
The cat looked at me with a smile that contained the answer. Yes, that smile said, some people think so. But in time they will understand life
will teach them.
“Repetition,” said the cat, “is the mother of learning.”
The sun set and, touching the ground, I immediately felt more confident. The sky is the sky and the earth is the earth. And no matter how high you fly, home is still better.
It's time for me to return home. I also have a tree there, around which I will make a path and walk in a circle like a cat. I'll go there later
Brotherly, and repeat everything again, because repetition is the mother of learning.
- And you say - Blue Bird... - the cat said to me goodbye. “When you live and think about it, you begin to understand that the Sea Walker is just
a sailor, and the One Floating on the Air is just an aeronaut... And the Blue Bird is just a tit, which in our hands is more accurate than a pie in the sky...
I'm trampling my path. I follow my steps - in one direction, then in the other, and there is no end in sight. Step. Stop. One more step. Stop.
Once upon a time there lived three soldiers. So the fairy tale has begun. Once upon a time there were three peacocks. That's half the story. Once upon a time there lived three geese. That's the whole fairy tale for you? No matter how it is: I
I turn around and go in the opposite direction.
Shall I tell you a fairy tale about a white bull?
EVERYWHERE - AMONG YOURSELF
It’s as if the insects have nowhere to rush, but they don’t walk on the ground, they run.
On a date - run. From the date - run. Running everywhere. Just run.
Because the world around them is big, and they are small in this world. And in
In the big world, little ones have to run around a lot.
But how insects run! The horse runs beautifully, it runs along the wall
won't run. And it won't run across the ceiling. And the insects are running.
What forces hold them up as they run across the ceiling?
They are held together by molecular forces. The forces of those molecules that make up and
walls, ceilings, and any surface in general.
Molecules are small, but they have forces that can support. Horse
they won't support it. They won't support the elephant. And they support insects.
Because there is no one else to support the insects.
Because the little ones must support the little ones.
THE PUSHER FAMILY
To tell you the truth, which Tolkunchik is the groom? Long nose, legs
long, and the head is so small that doubt even creeps in: he can
Does Pusher think about family? Yes, if you look at this, you won’t be happy.
Is he a fly or not a fly? The knives are crooked, shaggy, and there is baldness all over the body. How
as if, when they sowed Tolkunchik, they started with his feet, and didn’t do the rest
enough seed material. And Tolkunchik’s nose is like a tailor’s needle.
If Ant-Tailor had such a nose, Ant-Tailor would make it
state. And Weevil the Tailcoat would have sewn a tailcoat for himself! But Pusher
he’s not a tailor, and he’s not a tailor at all. Either neck or not neck on him -
the main thing will remain outside.
That's what he is, Tolkunchik. Not a gift. Especially not a wedding gift, and certainly not
Of course, not as a groom. Therefore, in order to somehow raise this quality,
The pusher comes to his bride with a gift. He comes with a bag like
some kind of Bag Butterfly, and in his bag he has a midge or a fly, -
in a word, a dowry. If you have a different appearance, you can take a dowry from the bride, but
With such an appearance, thank you for at least agreeing to take something from you.
However, it's not just about appearance. It's about the character of the bride,
or rather, wives. Because once a bride becomes a wife, she is ready
eat your husband Pusher.
While she is a bride, she is ready to love him (although loving Pusher is,
one might say, a feat). But as soon as she becomes a wife, she is ready to eat her husband
Pusher...
What we have, we don’t keep... The Bagworm Butterfly lives without a husband at all, if only
she probably loved her husband! But she lives without a husband, and her life -
just a few minutes. You won't live long without a husband. Give
Of course, she would have lived for her husband’s Bag Butterfly, and she would have also thanked him. A
Tolkunchik’s wife doesn’t understand this, she believes that without her husband she can’t
will remain. Is there only one Pusher in the world? There are many pushers in the world. WITH
with such a nose.
I would watch my nose, that would be the best thing to do. The nose itself
like your syringe, like your spade. If you gave such a syringe to the Pill Beetle, he would
cured the whole world without pills, and the Gravedigger Beetle killed everyone with such a spade
to the grave. And in general, to be honest, Tolkunchik’s wife is not at all
better than Tolkunchik.
But this is to be honest. Have you tried to tell her honestly? Come on,
come on, try it! That's when your long legs come in handy!
FOUR RULES OF THE SIMPLE
Each protozoan knows its own cell, and is not interested in what
takes place in the cage where his neighbor lives.
The first rule of the simplest: _my home is my cage_.
Attack is the only time when single-celled organisms unite,
to defeat a multicellular enemy. And here the second rule comes into force
protozoa: _many unicellular ones are stronger than one multicellular one_.
Of course, it would be possible to unite on a different basis, for example, on
the basis of love. But the simplest have no love. They even produce offspring without
love. The third rule of the simplest: _in order to continue the race, you need not
unite, but separate_. And they divide, each one divides by himself and
produces offspring on its own. Parents don't die, they move on
children. And children do not die, they become grandchildren.
The fourth rule of protozoa: _not a single protozoa is mortal_. Illusion
immortality, without which the simplest cannot exist. In order to
the simplest existed, he must believe that his body is immortal. Not
soul, namely body. Because they can't in one small cage
fit both body and soul.
TURNTY
The Karapuzik beetle does nothing but pretend to be dead. A little bit
noise, just a knock or a crack, and Karapuzik is already dead. This is him
pretends.
The dead are not so scary, and in general they are somehow calmer. It's better
pretend to be dead so as not to die of fear, rather than die of fear, but
pretend to be alive.
LIFE EXPERIENCE
The opossum pretends to be dead so cleverly that it even falls out of a tree and is already
he himself cannot say whether he is dead or alive.
What do you think - is it so easy to figure it out? When all your life
you're pretending, all you know is that you're pretending, how can I say it?
certainty - are you a possum or not a possum anymore?
LOVE OF LIFE
Triton is a great lover of life. It can be frozen, strangled and even
dry it for several years - and it will still come to life:
- Here I am! Returned from the other world...
And again he lives, and again he rejoices in life - that very life that
I dried it and froze it, so you can’t tell whether it was life or death. Well,
and if you don’t understand, we’ll consider it life. You have to live somehow! to Triton
he must live, otherwise he cannot imagine life.
He, an amphibian, has two elements, earth and water, and he maneuvers between
these two elements. He looks at where the living conditions are. Of course there are
such conditions... But for him, any conditions are, first of all, conditions
life. Because Triton loves life.
If tarpans and passenger pigeons truly loved life, they
would not rush to heaven, would not gallop across the endless steppes, but would learn
live in any condition. Dried, suffocated, frozen,
Then maybe they would have survived...
But everyone talks about tarpans, about passenger pigeons, about how they
they lived wonderfully and how sadly they ended their lives... Everyone sympathizes with them,
admire them... No one admires Triton, and thank God: when
people begin to admire you, which means you won’t live long in the world.
And Triton loves life. Not this one - loud, heavenly and steppe, but quiet,
invisible, amphibious life... And when everything in it dries up, when in it
everything freezes, so that it seems that there is nothing else, it remains, lives in it
a firm belief that any conditions are, first of all, living conditions.
BLIND BIRD'S APARTMENT
The mole rat settled underground, but comfortably. It's damp, really.
It's a bit dark, but there are all the amenities. There is room to expand family life.
Some sparrow will fly in, knock at the entrance, and the Blind Man from below:
- Who's there?
If the wolf won't open it, if the fox won't open it. And if it’s a sparrow - why?
not open?
The Molefly will look out, as far as his eyes allow, and immediately the apartment
show that the sparrow is asking him to stay.
- This is my gallery, these are the storerooms for storing grain, here
toilet - in general, utility rooms. And here we have a nursery, and here is ours
with my wife, we call it a wedding.
Wedding room - they'll come up with something like that! Once a year there is a wedding, and the room -
all year round! Yes, mole rats live and get comfortable. And they don’t climb up, or else
that we are sparrows.
- We don’t climb up, we’re fine here below...
“Yes, you feel good,” the sparrow will envy. - What do we see at the top?
You see this, mole rats.
And the sparrow will fly upward. So what to do? Such is our fate
passerine: we don’t see anything there, and there’s no joy in it, but still
we climb up.
KENYA THE AMAZING FROM THE ARACHNIDS TRIBE
Kenya is amazing and she is surprised that she is alive. Upon reaching land,
when everyone was exchanging gills for lungs, Kenya made an unsuccessful exchange: and
her gills were taken away and she was left without lungs. The question arises: how
live? It is not known how, but Kenya adapted. She breathes through her skin though
this, of course, is no longer the same. Neither take a deep breath nor exhale with relief.
Then, when they began to allocate places on the ground, for some reason Kenya
driven underground. Is it possible to live underground? Probably not, but
Kenya has adapted. She lives underground and rarely comes out into the light, and
In general, she doesn't respond well to light. Maybe because when
they gave away sight, Kenya was also bypassed, and she remained blind. Certainly,
adapted, but since then she cannot stand the light.
And again the question arises: how can this be? On the one hand, not seeing the light,
and on the other hand, to hate him... Is this possible?
Of course not.
Impossible.
But Kenya adapted.
WORLD OF INVERTEBRATES
The world of invertebrates is, in essence, not peace, but war, a cruel war and
with vertebrates and with invertebrates.
Hydra lives in this world, in this constant war, and she is literally torn
to pieces, but this is not to her detriment, but rather even to her benefit.
Because from each piece a new hydra is formed, and thus
The army of hydras is not thinning, but multiplying.
It's probably all about position. Normal position of a living being
- stand with your face to the joys of life, and your back to all the troubles. Hydra
takes opposite position, for peace for her is not peace, but war, and
all troubles benefit her.
You can even turn a hydra inside out, and it will still live. AND
the wrong side will become her face, and her face will become the wrong side.
Haven't you tried that? This is a very effective strategic technique: in
Hard time turn inside out. It's no longer scary to meet face to face
face danger because you will not face it. And when do you
If you happen to hit your face in the dirt, you won’t hit it with your face. And even let
they spit in your face, there is nothing offensive in that, because they spit
not in your face...
This is the essence of the strategy: to save face, you need to turn out in time
inside out.
IT'S NOT SO EASY TO BE STICKY
Yes, it's not so easy to be Sticky. It’s easy to cling, but only
question: to whom? You stick to someone and they get swallowed up. And that's it, song
sung... No, here you have to choose someone bigger. A shark, for example...
Sticky chooses Shark.
Of course, Shark is not ideal either; Prilipala condemns her for many things. To him,
Frankly speaking, I don’t like her behavior. But the Shark will not be swallowed, and this is what she
Prilipala likes it.
However, also for the time being.
They'll catch the Shark and drag him onto the ship, then Sticky will instantly come unstuck.
And who will it stick to? To the ship.
No, it’s not that Prilipala approved of him, Sticky, to put it bluntly, him
condemns. And he will be the first to come unstuck if, say, the ship goes down.
When a ship goes down, the most important thing is to get unstuck as quickly as possible.
Prilipala has a difficult life. All fish have a hard life, but he has it
It’s also troublesome: just look who will drown whom, who will swallow whom.
The main thing in this matter is not to make a mistake. In this case they make a mistake once.
Others make one mistake.
But Sticky is not mistaken.
TWO METHODS TO SLIDE OVER A SURFACE
The water strider cannot swim at all, although it lives constantly in the water.
Actually, she lives not in the water, but on the water, on its very surface. AND
glides along this surface, measuring the water not in depth, but in breadth, and managing
do not get your feet wet and do not muddy the surface of the water. Because if you get your feet wet
- trouble, and if you muddy the waters - trouble, and if you go a little deeper - too
trouble. And to avoid trouble, it is best to glide along the surface.
However, you can slide on the surface in different ways: after all,
the surface has two sides.
The Water Beetle runs along the water surface from below, like a fly on the ceiling.
This is very convenient: both the floor under your feet and at the same time a roof over your head. AND
the rain won't get you wet - of course, if you don't stick your head out of the water...
Slide so as not to stick out, and slide so as not to go deep -
Here are two methods that help you stay on the surface. They don't know this
only water striders and water beetles.
GOLDEN STRIPED AFIOSEMION
(Family Carp-toothed)
Golden-banded Afiosemion, which for short can be called
Semyon, lives in a swamp, in which there is more than enough dirt, and dampness, it is necessary
frankly speaking, it’s not enough. If Semyon lived in Europe or, say, America,
he would like water, as they say, to fall from the sky. And in Africa, wait for her to come to you
will fall. By the time it falls from the sky, everything in its swamp will dry up.
Those fish who have the ocean for their children rarely think about what
their children will grow up. Semyon has no ocean. And he will never have
ocean. And he prepares his children for this.
He dries his caviar, dries it thoroughly, so that this caviar, when
She will become an adult, not afraid of the most severe drought. He tempers his
caviar in the heat, because he understands that little will fall from the sky for his children.
It is very important to teach children that things will not fall from the sky, that they need to go through
through difficulties, if you want to grow up not to be some Liognate (whom
for short we can call him Ignat), not just any Barbouris
(who can be called Boris for short), but the real, strong,
the Gold-Striped Afiosemion, hardened in dry sands. Which for
for short we can call him Semyon.
THE WAY OF THE HARE
The White Hare knows neither shelter nor parental affection. He barely
opens his eyes, parents scatter. There are children from whom parents
I want to go all out, but it’s not about the children here. Of course, you can for each other
hold on when you have strong hooves or horns, but when there is nothing,
Apart from long ears, what is there to hold on to?
And the parents, having quickly fed the baby, let them go in different directions,
leaving the Little Bunny to rise to his feet and choose his life
path.
The little hare will walk a little, and there, you see, some little hare,
running away from her own children:
- Oh, my poor thing, come, I’ll feed you! Somewhere mine is the same
wanders...
And the second Hare will feed, and the fifth, and the tenth, so while the Little Hare is
age will come, it will change parents a lot!
All strangers - and all our own.
Those, of course, who have teeth and claws are all alien. Those with horns and
hooves - all of them.
Well, for those who have neither one nor the other, all are strangers and all are their own. AND
because they have main law- scattered.
ONE OF THE SEA URCHNIDS
To say that this sea urchin walks on its teeth is to scare everyone
ordinary pedestrians. Adding that he walks on needles means even more
frighten pedestrians and, in addition, greatly puzzle the tailors. To go to
needles and teeth, you have to be a very scary monster.
But this hedgehog is not a monster. He just walks on his teeth. Others don't go to
teeth, but their teeth don’t sit idle either. And he walks on his teeth. Walking
on the teeth. For him, a walk on the teeth - best view recreation.
It’s impossible to say that this hedgehog was just walking on his teeth, if only walking
on the teeth, then, as they say, you will quickly stretch your teeth. No, he first
take a walk and then eat. And after eating he will take a walk again (this is especially useful
- walk after eating). Moreover, he eats everything without going overboard. He
completely omnivorous hedgehog.
True, his omnivorousness lies more in the fact that he himself is everything
are eating. Despite the fact that he walks on his teeth, scaring away pedestrians, and that
he eats everything - everyone eats him.
This is how he combines omnivorousness with edibility. But they still call him
Edible Sea Urchin. Not an Omnivore, but an Edible Sea Urchin.
Because they value it not for its omnivorous nature, but for its edibility.
HUMBLE GRILLER
Siberian grouse is called the “humble hazel grouse”. This appears to be the case.
Siberian grouse sits on a tree, sits humbly, like an ordinary hazel grouse does not sit
will become. Because try to sit like that: before you have time to blink your eye,
someone will put a noose around your neck.
This is how Dikusha is caught. They simply put a noose around his neck and take him off
tree like ripe fruit.
“Our Dikusha is simple-minded,” the hazel grouse friends say about him. -
Look: he puts his head in the noose! Maybe he thinks he's being served
Laurel wreath? Maybe he is waiting for the crown to be placed on him?
But isn't it natural to stick your head in the noose and wonder
What's on the other side of the loop? Nobody knows what's there, on the other hand
side. And I want to know.
Dikusha wants to know.
And who doesn't want to?
CITY CHIEF OCTOPUS
Mayor Octopus lives in big city built from stones.
From these stones he built himself a house, the best in the whole city. This house
located in the very beautiful place, and inside it is the most delicious sea water.
And from this house the most pleasant view opens (Octopus has the largest
eyes in the world, so appearance means a lot to him).
And when the Octopus goes to town, he takes the biggest one from his house.
in the city the roof and carries it in front of him.
- Hey, move aside! Make way! - shouts the Octopus, putting it up like a shield,
your flat roof.
Because he is the mayor, and what is a boss supposed to do?
First of all, isolate yourself from your subordinates.
CALABARIA
In case of danger, the Kalabaria snake puts out its tail instead of its head.
She hides her head away, and lifts her tail up and moves it out
side to side and even seems to be trying to bite.
Of course, the tail is inferior to the head, he does not have its intelligence, but he
it will be quite in place if you lift it higher. And besides, he is completely
doesn't see the danger.
It is very important not to see the danger at a dangerous moment. Don't hear the danger.
Don't think about the danger. In short, put a tail instead of a head.
High, putting the tail as high as possible - this helps to keep the head.
The giraffe is ten heads taller than everyone else, and its tongue is as much as half a meter. I wish I could
talk like that!
But no one knows how to be silent like the Giraffe.
Even small sparrows chirp little by little, even grasshoppers - and
they are chirping something.
But the Giraffe is silent. Maybe because she is ten heads taller than everyone else?
Maybe she's afraid of losing her dignity? (No joke - from such a height!)
It is difficult to say why the Giraffe is silent, why even when dying it does not shout about
help. Even lions cry for help, even tigers cry for help, everything is on
the world is screaming for help, but the Giraffe is silent.
Maybe that's why they call her Giraffe, which means sweetheart? Often cute
they call those who are silent, who, even having a very long tongue, are good at
keep it tight.
This topic has been moved from the Humorous Stories section.
Once upon a time there lived a wizard. He could turn sand into sugar, and plain water into milk, but did not do this because he believed that miracles did not happen.
He once went to the ends of the world. He came, dangled his legs over the edge and suddenly felt someone standing nearby. The wizard squinted his eyes and saw a rooster perched on the very edge and calmly pecking at the stars.
Stop! - exclaimed the wizard. - You will leave us without stars!
Sorry,” the rooster was embarrassed. - But at the same time, you must agree; There’s nothing more to peck here.
They started talking. It turns out that the rooster was not a rooster at all, he was a man, and he had a wife, very beautiful woman. He loved her so much that his friends began to laugh at him. And one of them, a sorcerer by training, turned him into a rooster. And now he likes all the chickens, that's why he ran to the ends of the earth.
If only someone would cast a spell on me,” the rooster sighed. - I could return to my wife and live like a human being again...
The wizard also sighed:
Unfortunately, miracles do not happen.
They walked along the edge of the world, as if along the banks of a large river. Every now and then the rooster pushed the wizard in the side:
Look how pretty the chicken is! - and immediately began to shame himself: - Oh, what I am after all... Unscrupulous, unlucky...
Late in the evening we came across a bear's den.
Come in,” the bear invited. - Although there is nothing special to treat. At the end of the world with food - you know...
How did you get to the end of the world?
The fact is that I am not a bear, but a rooster. I sang and made pretty good money. It’s so wonderful to be a rooster,” the bear sighed and looked at the rooster, looking for sympathy. - If it weren’t for this honey... I can’t see it! I didn’t have enough grain, I wanted to try honey...
The bear fell silent. He was ashamed to tell what happened next. But once I started, I need to finish it.
Carefully, so as not to wake the bees, I climbed into the hive for honey. And as soon as I began to try, I suddenly felt that something was happening to me.
The bear turned away and began blowing his nose into a rag.
“You can imagine,” he continued, “my feathers and wings disappeared somewhere, and instead of them, wool and these paws appeared. And most importantly, I lost my voice. Listen here.
The bear roared so loudly that the earth shook.
The wizard shook his head:
It's unlikely that this will work. After all, miracles don't happen.
“Hello to honest company,” was heard from above, and a man looked into the den.
Who are you? - the bear was scared. - Not a hunter for an hour?
No, what kind of hunter am I? I'm not a person at all. Born a bear, grew old a bear. Well, in my old age I wanted to become a human being. I thought it was easier for a person, they give a pension to a person. I just see now - oh, it’s not an easy thing to be a human being! So I’m walking around, looking for someone who can turn me into a bear.
The wizard spread his hands: “There are no miracles.” They are sitting in a bear’s den, and everyone is in such a mood...
Oh, if only I could become a man! - the rooster laments.
If only I could become a rooster! - the bear dreams.
If only I could become a bear! - the man sighs.
The wizard got tired of this, and he waved his hand:
Oh, yes, you all can be whoever you want!
And then everyone became whoever they wanted. Because it was not just anyone who wished this, but a wizard. The rooster became a man. The bear is a rooster.
Man is a bear.
The wizard looked - a rooster, a bear and a man were sitting in a den - and sighed:
I told you that miracles don’t happen!
If I were an ermine
If I were an ermine, I would walk around like a king, and everyone would be surprised where I got my fur coat, and everyone would ask: “Tell me, where did you buy this fur coat, who gave it to you, who sent it to you, from you?” , probably rich relatives? And I would walk around in an ermine fur coat, in a fur coat made of pure ermine, because I would be an ermine myself, and I would answer: “No, I didn’t buy this fur coat anywhere, and no one gave it to me, and no one sent it, I I wear an ermine coat, because, you see, I am an ermine myself.” But they, of course, wouldn’t believe me, because you see an ermine every day, and they would ask: “Oh, please, let us wear this fur coat!” And I would refuse, I would categorically refuse everyone: the hare, the gopher, the wolf... And the wolf? No, I probably wouldn’t be able to refuse a wolf, it’s very difficult to refuse a wolf, he would probably take off my fur coat...
If I were a wolf, I would take off the fur coat from every ermine, and from a marten, and even from a hare, although the hare’s fur coat is of very poor quality, it sheds all the time, and it is barely enough for one season. But I would still take off his fur coat, because I would be a wolf, and a wolf can afford it, a wolf can afford absolutely everything, except the pleasure of climbing a tree. Wolves don’t climb trees, although, of course, they would really like to, they wouldn’t refuse, but where can they go? Monkeys climb trees, and wolves run on the ground, and they will never climb a tree!
If I were a monkey, I would never go down to the ground, I would jump on the branches and scream and squeal and throw bananas from above, trying to hit someone in the head. And the other monkeys would also squeal and throw themselves, and we would compete to see who would squeal loudest and who would hit the fastest, and would be happy that no one could get us in the tree. Maybe a giraffe, because she herself is like a tree, because her neck is so long that you can climb and climb on it and still won’t reach the end.
If I were a giraffe, I would not bow my head to anyone, I would look down on everyone, I would have such a long neck. And it wouldn’t cost me anything to look over the fence, and I would see what’s inside, and there must definitely be something inside, because fences exist for a reason - but, of course, not for those who have such a long neck. And no one could reach me, because to do this they would have to jump very high, and not everyone can do this.
If I were a leopard, I would, of course, succeed. I would jump on this giraffe's neck and bite its head off in one second. And then he would jump onto a tree and bite off the heads of all the monkeys, and at the same time the wolf, so that he would not take away other people’s fur coats, and at the same time the ermine, so that he would not boast of his fur coat. If I were a leopard, no one would be afraid of me - of course, except the lion, because the lion is terrible for everyone. When you meet a lion, you want to become small and unnoticeable, you want to bury yourself in the ground like a mole.
If I were a mole, I would bury myself in the ground every day. I would be digging there, underground, and I would not be at all interested in what was happening here in this world. And who took someone's fur coat, and who bit off whose head, all this would be of no use to me, I would rummage in the ground, rummage and rummage - and only sometimes stick my head out to see how the grass grows there and how the sheep nibble it . The sheep walk across the field and nibble the grass and warm their backs in the sun, and they may not think about anything, although, of course, they do think, sometimes they think so!..
If I were a ram!.. But I am a ram...
Happy regiment
“Happiness is a double-edged sword: one in the hand, the other on the back of the neck,” says the mole Slepysh, and there is a considerable amount of truth in these words. In the midst of bliss, something is bound to hit you on the head.
For Polchka, the height of bliss began a long time ago, but the height of it came only today, when the squirrel Veksha not only nodded to him and did not just ask how he was doing, but when she sat down next to him to talk in detail about everything.
Felix Krivin. I discovered this name quite early, when I was still a middle school student. In my aunt Natalya Zaitseva's library there was a small book of his miniatures. It was called “Half-Tales” and was published in Uzhgorod in 1964. I read it twenty times! Or even thirty! Her wise humor accompanies me to this day. Unfortunately, the name of Felix Krivin, who left behind a good two dozen such small books, is little known to the modern reader. So, I decided to slightly expand the circle of readers and admirers of Krivin. I give you the traditional good Friday smile.
TOUGH CHICKEN
Before the chicken had time to hatch, he immediately received a reprimand for breaking an egg. My God, where did he get such manners from? Obviously it's something hereditary...
RESPONSIBILITY
“We are responsible for those we have tamed,” said the sheep who raised the wolf. These were her last words...
CHOICE OF PROFESSION
It was quiet. It was dark. In the darkness - through the window - the yellow pupils of the stars glowed. In the silence - outside the window - there were some rustling sounds.
The mouse said: “When I grow up big, I will definitely become a cat...”
WATCH
Understanding the importance and responsibility of their life mission, the clock did not tick: they stood guard over time.
SAVOR
The photographic film recognized the light too early and therefore could not show itself properly at work.
POWER OF PERSUASION
“The room must be open,” the doorknob remarks thoughtfully when the door is opened.
“The room must be closed,” she concludes philosophically as the door is closed.
The persuasion of a doorknob depends on who presses it.
STUMP
The stump stood right next to the road, and passers-by often tripped over it.
“Not all at once, not all at once,” the stump creaked displeasedly. - I’ll accept as much as I can. I can't tear myself apart! Well, people, they can’t take a step without me!”
LAMA
In the camel family, only the llama does not have a hump. The camel family also has its fair share of freaks.
DISCUSSION
The ram expressed general bewilderment, the hare expressed general fear. Then the lion stood up and expressed his general opinion.
ORIGIN OF THE GIRAFFE
You have to bend your neck when you live in such an environment. And it’s good when you have something to bend.
FREELANCER
The electric iron asked to be unplugged because it was getting creative.
FLAP
“The man will probably freeze,” the whip was worried. - Arms, legs, shoulders are frostbitten. I’m calm about my lower back, I’m personally present here, but what about in other areas?”
ARMCHAIR
An important chair, a solid chair, it gives in warningly, shrinks when people sit on it, and when they stand up, it straightens up, looks around arrogantly, demonstrating its independent position.
INJUSTICE
“You work from morning to evening,” the healthy tooth lamented, “and no thanks to you!” And the damaged teeth are all in gold. For what, you ask? For what merit?
BLOT
Among the monotonous letters on a sheet of paper, one blot manages to retain its individuality. She doesn’t imitate anyone, she has her own face, and it’s not so easy to read her.
BEANBAG
“You need to be simpler, more intelligible,” the rattle instructs the violin. - For example, people always listen to me with pleasure. Even children understand!”
PROPER NUTRITION
It's better to undereat than to overeat. Therefore, the cat eats the mouse, and not vice versa.
HEALTHY OPTIMISM
The fly believes in the fly, the midge believes in the midge. And the mouse believes in the mouse and does not believe in the cat at all.
BIRDS
In every finch an eagle dies. From the consciousness that he is not an eagle, but a finch.
HIGH NERVOUS ACTIVITY
AND underwater snake You can get her to the point where she throws a deck at you.
TELL ME WHO IS YOUR FRIEND
A dog is a man's friend, but we also need to look at what kind of person he is.
BORN TO CREEP
You don't have to leave the ground to rise into the sky. Those born to crawl reach the top precisely thanks to the ability to stay on solid ground.
HEALTHY ENVY
And this thermos kept boiling water so that the glasses literally burst with envy.
SHUTTER
Every morning the shutter makes a broad gesture: our light, what is there to regret, there is enough for everyone!
And every evening the shutter closes the window more tightly: our light, no matter how others use it!
TRANSPARENCY
“We seem to be on the same path,” said the splinter, digging into his leg. “That’s good: after all, it’s more fun in company.”
Feeling the pain, the boy jumped on one leg, and the splinter remarked with satisfaction: “Well, I told you it’s more fun in company!”
ACNE
Sitting on the forehead of a short man, the pimple looked at their foreheads with envy tall people and thought: “I wish I was in such a position!”
PAINTING
The picture gives an assessment of living nature: “All this, of course, is nothing - both the background and the perspective... But you need to know some kind of framework!”
FLAP
“Paint me,” asks the rag. - I’ve already picked out a stick for the shaft. All that remains is to paint.”
“What color are you - green, black, orange?”
“I’m not good with colors,” the flap crumples. “I just wish I could become a banner.”
ENVIRONMENT
They say it all depends on the environment. Like, what kind of environment we have, that’s how we grow up. But it is not always the case.
A hole, for example, may have a gold or diamond surround, but it is still an empty space.
FROM THE LIFE OF TABLETS
“Wherever you poke, everyone tries to swallow you.” This does not happen in a healthy society.
FROM THE LIFE OF EGGS
They themselves are cold, where can they warm each other? Therefore, they always need either a hen or a frying pan.
PEDAGOGY
No egg likes to be over-hatched.
FROM THE LIFE OF INVENTORS
One very smart hare spent his life inventing a machine for processing hare meat into wolf meat. He didn't want to remain a hare. But such devices, it turns out, already existed, and the hare turned into wolf meat without the help of his ingenious invention.
FROM THE LIFE OF CENTIPODES
Where can you keep up with the times when you try to keep up with yourself!
CRUSTACEANS
So many legs, so many means of transportation - and all this in order to move backwards!
THE SECRET OF THE CUTE
In modern water conditions, a fish grabs a hook like a drowning man grabs a straw.
OUR VETERANS
Even back when there were no dinosaurs, ciliates were already ciliates. And now, when there are no dinosaurs a long time ago, ciliates are still ciliates.
HARD TIMES
And the fish has moments of melancholy when it is suddenly painfully drawn to land.
EXAMPLE OF THE SNAKE MUSSURANA
The Mussurana snake feeds exclusively on snakes and sees this as a kind of patriotism. But actually, why should we eat strangers? And why should strangers eat us? Don't we have anyone? Don't we have anyone to eat? The Mussurana snake answers these questions.
CROCODILES
It's not scary when you're young and green. It's when it's old and still green that it's truly scary.
YOUR OPINION
Finally, the sparrow got the opportunity to express his opinion.
“Chick-chirp,” said the sparrow. - Chick. Tweet. This one - chik, this one - chirp. Why bother with them?
LIFE EXPERIENCE
There comes a time in the life of every sandpiper when he no longer praises his swamp.
DIGNITY
The hummingbird is slightly larger than a bee, but it is still a bird!
“Our eagles are good guys,” says the hummingbird.
So, by the way, when it comes to words.
WATER AND ICE
Ice is lighter than water. The transformation of water into ice is an instructive and sad example: how often an attempt to show firmness in order to give oneself weight ends in embarrassment and failure.
PEDESTALS AND MONUMENTS
Once upon a time there was a pedestal. He lived and was longer than the monument itself, because he never strived to reach the top.
AUTUMN
Feeling that its beauty was beginning to fade and wanting to somehow prolong its summer, the birch tree was painted in yellow- the most fashionable in autumn...
And then everyone saw that autumn had come.
SPACE AGE
Snowflake, slowly sinking to the ground, asks the oncoming bushes: “Is this Earth? Tell me, please, what planet is this?” “Yes, it seems this is Earth,” the bushes answer. But there is no confidence in their voice.
ANT
“Why don’t you wear glasses?” - they asked the ant.
“How can I tell you...” he answered. - I need to see the sun and the sky, and this road that leads to no one knows where. I need to see my friends smile. Little things don't interest me..."
Unstarted stories
APPRECIATION
... but seeing the tears in her eyes, the onion, out of excitement, forgot that it was being cut.
MATURITY
... and now, having entered the wide road, he no longer rushed into the cornerstones, but was content with the modest role of a stumbling block.
POSITIVE EXAMPLE
... for example, a spoon: she, too, is not always at ease, but this does not in the least prevent her from working with full dedication.
INDIVIDUALITY
... but - oh, how difficult it is to be a highlight! Especially in a box of raisins.
PLAYER
... and because he always lost in life, it was especially interesting to listen to him.
REFLEXES
... when there is a hunt for wolves, the hares are the first to scatter.
PROBLEMS
... it’s important here who goes, where they go, why they go!..
“And who he rides,” interjected the camel.
TO EACH HIS OWN
...what remains for the kangaroo? Walk around the world with a bag.
Pedigree tree of reptiles
... and so, crawling, the huge lizards gradually turned into small lizards.
SCHOOL OF LIFE
... but before the birds learned to fly, how much they had to grovel!
WOLVES AND SHEEP
... and when the wolves were fed and the sheep were safe, a problem arose: how to feed the sheep?
FREEDOM LEVEL
...probably, the greatest freedom for birds is the freedom to sit in a cage when they want.
LEVEL OF CULTURE
... and a cow, accustomed to both straw and water, will never reach the point of drawing water through a straw.
LIVING CONDITIONS
... but for a butterfly that lives only one day, it is not at all indifferent to what the weather is like today.
FROM THE LIFE OF MICROBES
... and waking up a million years later, the microbe sees how much everything has changed around: many new microbes have appeared on earth.
FROM THE LIFE OF HERBS
... there would be someone to bow to, and there would be someone to bow to.
LOVE FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR
... and if the branches of one tree diverge at the top, then the branches different trees are drawn to each other.
CLIMATE
... some lack the southern warmth, while others lack the northern lights.
CATERING
...killed the worm. Hunger.
OPINION OF A FLYING FLY...
burn - burn!
BURDEN
... the heaviest stones are in the bosom.
OBITUARY
... it burned out like a candle in the era of continuous electrification.
DETECTIVE
... a thorough investigation showed that the crime was committed by a person who wished to remain anonymous.
PROGRESS
...thus, this small country that produced only buttons and toothpicks now produces everything from buttons to toothpicks.
RATES OF GROWTH
... from nobody to Robinson, from Robinson to Friday... Such is the increase in the population of uninhabited islands.
HEALTHY SLEEP
... and if a lion surrounded by giraffes sleeps up to twenty hours a day, then a giraffe surrounded by lions sleeps no more than twenty minutes. You can't sleep when you live in such an environment. Dozing is the privilege of the strong.
DEFENSE AND ATTACK
... when in the animal (and in the human) world a harmless person pretends to be a predator, this is a means of defense, and when a predator pretends to be harmless, it is a means of attack.
THE SMELL OF BLOOD
... minnows swim away from the smell of blood, sharks swim to the smell of blood, but most fish do not react to the smell of blood. Does it smell? Well, it smells. Is it leaking? Well, it flows. Everything flows in water, but nothing changes.
THE MOTHERLAND REMEMBERS, THE MOTHERLAND KNOWS
... and only after the Tasmanian wolf was completely destroyed in Tasmania, it was included in the coat of arms of this state.
HEREDITY
... well, let's say an elephant. Or a lion. But what does a pathetic, invisible microbe have? But he also finds something to pass on by inheritance.
THE POWER OF PROTEST
...and still tigers destroy zebras, and still zebras express their indignation. “Striped devils!” - the zebras are indignant at the tigers.
KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE
... in conclusion, lunch was served. The frog ate the fly, the frog already ate, the hedgehog ate the snake. The dinner passed in an atmosphere of mutual understanding.
FAIRY TALE
... and since the Golden Fish did not have enough of its seas, the last old trough was taken away from the old man.
FROM THE LIFE OF WORKERS
... work is not a wolf, it won’t go into the forest, don’t hope.
FROM THE LIFE OF JOURNALISTS
... none of our press can do without a press.
FROM THE LIFE OF VACATIONERS
... in our country, a person at work has the opportunity to rest, but they pay him as for rest, and not as for work.
FROM THE LIFE OF BUYERS
... in the capital there are temporary shortages of food, and in the provinces there are constant shortages.
FROM THE LIFE OF ANNIVERSARY
… half a century is still far from the ceiling. Floor and ceiling are fundamentally opposite things.
STATE STRUCTURE
... although without a king in his head, but with a parliament and a presidential council.
HOLIDAY ON SCAVEGOAT STREET
... finally the time for the scapegoat came: he was released to another garden, to his historical homeland... That's when Sidorov's goat regretted that she had not married him!
VIBRATIONAL MOTION
... but what should a pendulum do if it feels bad both here and there?
PUBLIC
... and everyone was disappointed that he couldn't perform his swan song as an encore.
POINT OF VIEW
... and as for the bald spot, the main thing for it is that it shines on top.
These stories are taken from Felix Krivin’s collection “Splashes of Reality,” published in Uzhgorod in 1996. Some of them are familiar to me from that very collection “Half-Tales”, some of them I read for the first time.
Well, did you like Felix Krivin? Have you read his works before? I would be grateful if you could suggest writers in the comments whose work is similar to Krivin’s. Thank you in advance. I love short thoughts like this notebooks Ilf, “Uncombed Thoughts” by Stanislaw Jerzy Lec...
P.S. Several miniatures of Felix Krivin performed by his close friend Lev Lutsker
