Comedians about status in networks. Cool statuses
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I have only two shortcomings - laziness and a sense of humor. One constantly prevents me from living, and the second does not allow me to die.
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But has anyone ever thought about how many liters of beer a small phrase contains: MAYBE A BOTTLE???
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I was telling fortunes for Christmas. She burned a Christmas tree, flooded her neighbors, hit some guy with a felt boot... The ambulance, firefighters and police arrived immediately. Now I sit and think - which of them is the betrothed!!!
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Well... my husband told me this morning: - Hey, beauty, save the world... go get a beer!)))
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- Grandpa, what’s in your shorts?
- The end of love and two bags of memories.
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When I... jokingly set the status:... “What an unbearable infection I am!”... All my... hidden “exes”... couldn’t stand it... and put it “class”... Ha!... Remember, bastards... Nice!!!
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Herring with potatoes is the best sushi! Take a boiled potato, wrap it with a real piece of herring... Serve with regular uncolored horseradish (instead of wasabi), sunflower oil(instead of soy sauce), and sauerkraut(instead of ginger):))
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Lord, give me what I need, not what I want!
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You empty out the drawer with your husband’s socks: first you remove all the dirty ones, then all the unpaired ones, then all the ones with holes, if there is nothing left, everything is correct - the solitaire has worked out!!!
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There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, and there are people in whom only worms live.
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When climbing the tree of life, try to avoid branches and avoid reacting to woodpeckers.
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Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
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IN past life I was definitely a bee... only the sting remained as proof.
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Our medicine is the strongest!
What they treat for is what they die for.
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First he hanged himself, then he poisoned himself, and finally he cut his veins... In short, Koschey the Immortal had as much fun as he could that day.
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Happiness cannot be put off “for later”! There is now? Take it and don't think about it!!!
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Do you want to crush my dream? Get over it. I have it unbreakable, shockproof and frost resistant!!!
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He was so unlucky that even in peach-scented toilet paper he came across seeds.
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A person always believes in miracles, especially when he presses the balance request button on an ATM!
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It's hard for me to work when there is no boss. I don’t even go smoking, I’m afraid I’ll go home.
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One more beep in my direction and your teeth will begin to move.
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“Your wife’s nervous illness is not dangerous. People live with such neurosis for a very long time.
- And I, doctor, how long can I last?
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Grief from intelligence is much easier to bear than joy from stupidity.
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I've been laughing at my husband for two days. He has been walking for two days, waiting for the football game, worrying, worrying. And in the end: he eats chips during the anthem and falls asleep at the sixth minute.
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A hen runs from a rooster and thinks: “Am I running too fast?”
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She: That's it, I'm offended, you don't care about me, I'll go to the Internet and cheat on you online!
He: Take Kaspersky!
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Sign up for work book: “Fucking sacked” Cool statuses with humor
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The dream of Russian doctors is that the poor never get sick, and the rich never get well.
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Space for rent under the heel... Expensive...))
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In my next life I'll be a man to find out how it works male brain and find out - DOES HE EVEN exist???
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Small children! For nothing in the world, don’t let your mom surf the Internet. There are bad things on the Internet. There are kaki on the Internet, Virtual maniacs are waiting for mom on the Internet. They will feed your mother fairy tales, and then you and your father will cook the soup yourself...))))
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Take a seat on the throne, Your Majesty. Now I will supply electricity there...
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Everyone says, “I want summer, I want summer,” but I don’t want it! My felt boots are cool...
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It's time to change wedding traditions! Now let the bride throw an unmarried man to her girlfriends instead of a bouquet.
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I wish that next to us there is no smell of goats!!!
© Torch
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Don't listen to what people tell you.
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Blew your brains out? Are you satisfied? Now assemble it carefully and put it in place)
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And yet it seems to me that my husband married me... so as not to go to the circus...))
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I don't want to be woken up by your messages in the morning. I want your kisses and hot breath to wake me up in the morning. Well, you can also have a cup of coffee in bed.
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Since the hangover, the kolobok is worse than anyone else, and everything hurts!!!
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What we believe stormy youth, people call it alcohol addiction!)
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Tutorial on how to meet a real woman: Speed up the horse, set fire to the hut, wait...
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Once you open your soul, someone will definitely take their tests...
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I want a prince like a white horse.
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I'm tired of all. Tired. I'll go to the monastery. In men's. For 3 days…
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Now the mother said: “Soon you’ll be going to the toilet with your laptop!!!” Apparently she doesn’t know yet...))))
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The only thing I ask is, give me a chance to make sure that money cannot make me happy.
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Women are very clean - before sitting on a man’s neck, they carefully wipe their feet on him...)))
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There are people for whom dialogue is just “free ears”...
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-Honey, where have you been? -Running for bread! -Well, have you caught up?
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Friendship between a man and a woman is a passion rolled into tin can, in use... in a hungry year it will be opened.
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A smart woman will even saw her husband carefully, like with a manicure file... For better “grooming”... And not like the “Friendship” chainsaw, when there will be no horns or legs left of the person...
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Everyone is mine last time such a penultimate one.
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How nicely T9 and I complement each other. He teaches me literacy, and I teach him bad words...
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Now about the eternal. You are always without money.
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-WHERE DO THE KEYS GO??? -They secretly meet with the TV remote control. -And together they wait for the flash drive)))
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The dish “happiness” has one recipe... Only the cooks are different.
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“I’ll send him to... the sky, for a star!!)))" - I dreamed, sitting in a chair and sipping hot coffee... But when I saw his eyes, I realized... that now they would send me... to the store, to get beer!)
Funny statuses with humor
Previously, all the boys knew, if you break through to the movie “Children under 16”, there will be boobs! Now if they write “16+”, there are no guarantees.
If you suspect someone is secretly watching you, yawn. If he's really looking, he'll yawn too.
If intuition didn’t fail, then it’s “I thought so,” if it failed, then it’s “as I felt.”
Whatever I'm going to do, my grandmother has the same story in which someone died.
My neighbor was struck by lightning, and since then he has acquired the superpower of boring everyone with this story.
In the morning I had such a bad hangover that I stood in the shower for almost an hour. Then I gained strength and turned it on.
I like traveling very much. Yesterday I visited the kitchen - the capital of the apartment.
Remember how we sat in class studying Pavlov's dog? They laughed for a long time about how stupid his dogs were. And then the bell rang, and we were already flying to the dining room.
Somehow I never had a chance to throw easy money left and right. But I feel like it’s mine.
Perhaps the most funny statuses on the website Statusy-Tut.ru! When you want to amuse your friends, look at Statuses-Here and you will find funny statuses for classmates, in contact or for other social networks. The main thing is not to lose heart, because you can always find positive statuses, thanks to which you will cheer up those around you, and gray everyday life will suddenly sparkle with new colors. Our most funny statuses will help make any princess Nesmeyana laugh, and now she is already laughing with you, and together you read laughing statuses for classmates on Statuses-Tut.ru! This is not surprising, because laughter, jokes, a positive and cheerful attitude prolong life, help maintain good relationships and make it easier to look at the world. Our funniest statuses about everything and everyone will give you the opportunity to stand out from the crowd of gloomy and dissatisfied Internet users. Funny quotes and sayings will definitely cheer up everyone who is lucky enough to see them. The funniest statuses are here! Let's choose a status together!
Selected funny statuses!
For us funny statuses do not imply a frivolous approach, since we monitor the quality of our content extremely carefully. Funny statuses will surely please your friends and cheer you up. Positive Quotes as a status will reflect your positive attitude in life and will delight everyone who sees them. In any situation, the main thing is to always think positively, and even if your day is not going well in the morning, come visit us and read our carbon monoxide statuses and you yourself will not notice how the situation will change in your favor. Everyone knows that life is like a zebra - today the stripe is white, and tomorrow it is black. Let the pessimists think so, but you and I are optimists, because on our Odnoklassniki and VKontakte pages we have our very funny statuses!The funniest statuses!
Your soulmate dreams of meeting New Year on the seashore, and the heat is +30? Our humorous statuses will help you take your companion's thoughts in a different direction. Are your parents tormented by conversations about a summer cottage and are already purchasing seeds in December? Our funny statuses about spring will help you, make them laugh. You can judge a person by his sense of humor. You don't want your friends to think you're a fan of Petrosyan or the Ponomarenko brothers? Then our statuses with humor will help you. And let them just say that Ivan Urgan is simply handsome, now he has serious competition in you.Funny statuses here!
Therefore, it’s a small matter: go to the appropriate section of the site, find carbon dioxide statuses and post them on your site. Just a few minutes of pleasant work, and a witty quote will appear on your page. And the fact that the work of finding funny statuses is really pleasant cannot even be disputed. After all, along the way you will definitely look at more than a dozen funny quotes, which will certainly delight you with excellent humor and charge you with an excellent mood. Positive people They really love funny statuses. Because funny statuses are very simple, but incredible effective remedy to lift the spirits of everyone around you. It’s so easy to pick up a funny quote and post it as a status on your page. Everyone who visits your page will certainly pay attention to your status and, at a minimum, smile. But this is already a lot! That's why funny statuses are so popular. It would seem that just one or two lines of text, and the mood is already in the positive. This is the whole essence and meaning of funny sayings and sayings.Presented in this category are super funny quotes will help you master your own inner sense of humor and then correctly present a witty joke in reality, it will be much easier for you. You have come to the page of comedy and wordplay - stock up on the sharpest jokes, tinged with light irony with a pinch of satire and generously seasoned with fresh jokes.
Cheer up yourself and your friends with good portions of funny statuses! Humor is positive emotions. If you know how to enjoy life, enjoy every moment you live, and a sense of humor is your constant companion in life, Everyday life, then share interesting jokes and a charge of positive emotions with your friends, make everyone laugh social network, our statuses are a great opportunity to cheer everyone up and have a good laugh yourself! Original funny quotes, phrases, aphorisms can also be found in the status category.
Funny? Funny? You cannot resist the delight and jubilation that rages in your soul. Then don’t restrain yourself - your status is your mood and with the help of it you can easily share your joy with others! It is probably impossible to overestimate the benefits of laughter and positive emotions, because we all know the familiar phrase “laughter prolongs life”! Just think about how powerful a status can be if it is not just a banal statement or primitive, flat humor, but an original, witty quote. Let a wave of positivity cover all your friends, and let the raging sea of laughter and joy never calm down!
If you are bored and sad, then remember that the best cure for loneliness and melancholy is fun! Good joke can be the beginning of a fun and pleasant conversation. Having interested the visitors of your page with a cool funny status, you will definitely find like-minded people and, together with the same cheerful friends, you will easily tune in to the positive. If the current state of your soul does not want fun, and your mood, to put it mildly, is not the best, then quickly call your friends for help! How? Of course status!!! Or rather, status from the category! Your friends will immediately understand that you urgently need to be rescued from the blues!
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The coolest aphorisms, very funny quotes and the latest humorous sayings read now! Have a stock of cool ones funny phrases for all occasions, everyone needs it!
Laugh healthy with! And let the whole world laugh with you!
