You like guys who play guitar. Why do girls like guitarists and what should ordinary guys do?

If in a dream you play six string guitar, although in life you do not know how to play it, it means that a person will soon appear in your life for whose sake you will quarrel with everyone around you and give up a good job. If in a dream you are good at playing the guitar, and you enjoy the music that you skillfully reproduce, then this person will truly be worth making all these sacrifices for the opportunity to be with him. But if you somehow cope with the guitar and all you get is a pitiful rattle, then you will do something stupid, your new friend It’s clearly not worth it for you to quarrel with the whole world and yourself for his sake.

If in a dream you enjoy the game of another person and see how quickly and skillfully he moves his fingers guitar strings, then expect an official notification in 33 days, which will mix up all your plans and make you worry. If the person in your dream plays for a long time, then the period of uncertainty will last you 6 weeks; if the person playing only a little, then after 15 days everything will be over and you will return to your previous state of peace.

If in a dream you watch children or adults who cannot play the guitar, then soon you will be asked for a report, oral or written, and you will find yourself in a difficult situation: 24 days ago you promised to provide this information, but you simply forgot You won’t be able to do this, but you won’t be able to write the required report in one sitting, since this is a long and painstaking task.

If in a dream you see all 6 strings of a guitar breaking, then in reality you will have to make an offer if you are a man, or accept it if you are a lady.

Advice to women: do not rush to agree on Saturday, made on this day, the proposal does not carry sincere feeling, but selfish calculation. However, if you are asked to get married on 6, 15 or 24, then you can safely say “yes”, and your marriage will be happy and long.

Advice to men: if you want to check what your marriage will be like, then invite your chosen one to set an hour for conversation, and then look at what number she said: if it is divisible by “6”, then you will be happy with this woman, she is exactly ta. who you have been looking for all your life. If she chose a different time, then this only means that you still don’t know each other very well.

If in a dream you yourself broke all 6 strings on the guitar, then in life you cannot get rid of your complexes. Carry out an “internal cleansing” and free yourself from suffering, at least 6 of your many inferiority complexes are false.

The guitar as an instrument was invented so long ago that no one remembers who its creator was. But it is known that this instrument has been very popular since ancient times. Why should every man know how to play the guitar? And what can it be useful for?

Applications can be different:

1. Seduce girls with romantic songs.

2. Amuse your friends around the fire with funny songs with thieves chords.

3. Become a rock star and gain public recognition.

4. Hang it on the wall for beauty.

5. Break the heads of ill-wishers.

Let's skip the last two options for today and focus on the first three.

Many girls love a touch of romance in relationships with the opposite sex. And nothing contributes more to the satisfaction of the souls of our ladies than a beautiful song about love, performed by you personally! Well, if you feel that the bear not only stepped on your ear, but in addition jumped and trampled on it, think about whether you can dance to some music in rhythm. If yes, then all is not lost and you just need to take a few lessons from a guitar tutor, after which the problem will be solved.

It’s not for nothing that guitarists are called the life of the party. If you know how to play the guitar, then outdoors or any party with you will never be boring!

Despite its slightly bulky size, the guitar can serve as your faithful travel companion and become an excellent way to lift your spirits if you suddenly feel depressed. Also, with the help of a guitar you develop your Creative skills. And if over time we can learn to compose our own melodies, then you will get simply unforgettable impressions, similar to the feeling of divine omnipotence!

More experienced and adventurous guitarists are usually the leaders of their musical groups. With the help of their skills they can earn good money. On average, the cost of services from a less-than-promoted group costs a client 2-3 thousand rubles for a two-hour performance. But the positioning of the group, repertoire and budget of the event or establishment play a significant role here. Proper management in a group allows you to earn much more large sums money - from 8,000 rubles per hour and more. These are the good ones organized groups and over time, new Noises, Bi-2 and Mumiy Trolls are born.

Private guitar lessons are also a very profitable business. Tuition fees vary from 150 to 500 rubles per lesson. The number of classes per week is two or three, the duration of one lesson is 1.5 hours. The training period for beginners ranges from two months to infinity. Therefore, it is not difficult to calculate how much money a guitar teacher can earn. Typically, a tutor teaches several people, individually or in group lessons. The average income of a teacher is about 20,000 rubles monthly. Agree, this is not such a bad additional income for 9 hours of work a week?!

Our world is full of terrible things. You yourself can guess about many of them - wars, economic disasters, Justin Bieber... To be frank, a huge wave (actually a tsunami) of disgusting events constantly strives to grunt you in the face, no matter what you try to do. And in such conditions it is very difficult to live positively, although there is still hope. In this regard, guitarists have a huge advantage over other people. Among all musical instruments there is nothing cooler than a guitar, and we are lucky to play it... And don’t care about all the troubles in the world, about depression and new songs by Justin Bieber - we continue to play the guitar in any case. Because it's cool to be a guitarist... And here's why:

1. Stress relief

Your workday was a nightmare. You spilled coffee on your pants, your boss behaved like a complete freak from morning to evening, your partners set you up on deadlines, your colleagues infuriated you for not caring. All in all, the day didn't go well. In this case, the best medicine is the guitar. You come home, plug it into the amp, turn up the gain and start chopping up something evil. And there is no other way to maintain some kind of normality in this fucked up world that seems to just troll you every day. You can say that this is yoga, but only very loud. Clears the mind and brings peace.

2. Feeling of victory

Remember how you feel when you finally nailed some fancy solo, composed a cool riff, or just jammed like hell to a minus track? The feeling is akin to having proven yourself to be a sex giant. Who among us still doesn’t remember the first time we played “Sweet Child O” Mine, Layla or some other famous classic rock song, being a completely inept beginner? Surely, a lot of your friends then spent most life in attempts to repeat these amazing sensations again. And all because at such moments you feel like a winner.

3. Mental growth

Do you know that by learning something you become smarter? All those hours that you spent playing along to other people's albums or even correcting crooked tablature from the Internet actually improve your brain. Learning guitar can really improve your analytical skills, improve your coordination, and heck, it can even add points to your IQ score. Being a guitarist means always learning, always pushing your brain to do something new, solving riddles and pushing yourself to grow. In a word, playing the guitar elevates you above other people.

4. Playing in a group

It's not hard to repeat this for the thousandth time - there's nothing better than playing music with friends. If you live in the company of people, you can’t imagine anything more pleasant. When you play in a band, write songs, perform somewhere - any normal guitarist should try this kind of pure high, unless he is a strange psycho who likes to cut solos at high volume exclusively in his home. Try the drug of gaming in a group and you will find that it is one of the most exciting things in life.

5. Understanding the benefits of work

Each of us has one of the most difficult things we have learned. I had to do a fair bit of digging. Time after time, trying to delve into the most the smallest details, it was as if you were looking at each note under a microscope, slowly connecting all these sounds into one single whole, so that you could then work on dynamics, phrasing, rhythm, expressiveness and steer correct sound. Good performance finished musical piece coupled with writing is an extremely difficult task. But you did it, and then you do it again and again. And all because you realized how important it is to be persistent and not give up on your goals. And then things that at first glance seem impossible suddenly become subject to your work, patience and perseverance. What else can we call pure gold if not life skills like these?

6. Showcase yourself

Of course, after you have killed a lot of time studying, you will want to show the fruits of your labors to some living people. And if we're talking about not about musicians, then they will be impressed by your skills in any case, no matter what you show them - two simple chords or a complete catalog of Zeppelin songs. And this pleasant feeling of influencing the audience compensates for all those endless hours that you spent alone, honing your skills in playing the instrument. And it doesn’t matter where you perform - at a party in front of friends, visiting colleagues, or on a club stage on a Friday night - the main thing is to feel the energy of people who are passionate about your game. Plus, when you play in front of people, you can always try on all those show-off rock star poses that you tried in front of the mirror since childhood.

7. Guitar stores

Magnificent temples of guitar shrines, shops for musicians, as a rule, make up a golden fund of memories of best moments our lives (well, besides all the nonsense like having children, getting married and other bullshit). From endless hours spent simply contemplating the instruments of your dreams hanging on hooks, to spontaneous purchases in a state of feverish excitement (when you came in for strings and left with a stack...), guitar stores are the places where your dreams turn into reality. The first time to touch the guitar that I have been dreaming about for decades, to hear from random person competent advice about a gadget, telling a funny guitar joke to a close friend who is choosing an amplifier - all these pleasant moments happened in our lives exclusively in a guitar store - how can you not love this place?

8. Tools

Most musicians don't have the fetishistic attitude toward instruments that guitarists do. You won’t find among non-guitar players people like nitro-varnish maniacs, hunters for real tube sound, experts on types of wood, adherents of the right magnets in sensors and other amazing personalities who have plunged somewhere into the depths of the processes of creating instruments. There is beauty in guitars even when not being played, and we can't stop ourselves from enjoying it. The same goes for amps, pedals, and even guitar stands. Name the model of any product for a guitarist and there will always be a guy who will tell you the exact period of production, the materials used, the history of creation. In this regard, we are similar to people who are crazy about airplanes, hanging out with expensive cameras near airfields and photographing winged machines flying over them. Our global difference from these spotters is that we have reached the point where we began to “fly our planes”, and not just admire.

9. Be a live jukebox

Sure, it can be a little annoying when you're constantly asked to play the same songs over and over again, but let's be honest - we love playing. Well, if there are at least a few people who will sing along to your songs, even if it’s something simple with half-forgotten lyrics like an ancient Johnny Cash track, that’s great way enjoy the evening. Not only can you show off how many chords you can come up with and how many songs you can play just from the intro, but people also buy you booze just for playing. How can you not like it?

10. Light up

At the end of the day, we know that we are just playing for our own enjoyment. Of course, it’s cool when you’re praised or treated to a beer, but in reality, we ourselves get the most pleasure from our playing, especially since listeners usually don’t dig into the subtleties of phrasing, the nuances of sound production and other things that you spent months on. Playing the guitar is an endless pleasure that lasts for years and brings you more and more joy over time as you begin to play better and understand the essence of the music. And if we're lucky, over the years we get all the tools and equipment we need for even greater joy, and our love for the game grows stronger. And this is wonderful! Just have fun.

P.S. (From the translator) One of the most surprising things in the text you just read is the absence of the “popularity with girls” clause. Crazy amount famous musicians in their interviews they say that they started playing the guitar so that girls would like them. And the most amazing thing is that they succeeded. When I bought my first guitar (after graduating from high school), I didn’t think at all that it could help my relationship. And I don’t remember that any of my many guitar acquaintances thought in this way. Moreover, in 20 years with the guitar, I have never seen a single girl play guitar. But there are a lot of wives and girlfriends who hated guitarism (for its terrible sounds of overload, for the money that it eats up, for the time that their man spends on it).

If I were writing an article like this, I would definitely include the “new friends” item. Through my passion for guitarism, I met an insane number of people, many of whom became quite close and dear to me. Living your life surrounded by people who share and support your hobbies and interests is one of the most enjoyable options for living.

Another point that would be in my imaginary article on this issue- this is an “opportunity to earn money”. Who among us doesn’t love a little money for something nice for the soul? Moreover, we guitar nuts need more money than ordinary people. We have an expensive hobby, a mad passion. And by “earn money” I don’t just mean working as a musician. You can teach people to play, sell instruments, run a guitar forum with banners, work in the guitar trade, shoot guitar videos, repair guitars, produce guitars and equipment, work as a guitar technician for professional guitarist, write articles about guitarism, after all. In general, there are a lot of guitar-related professions in the world. This cannot be said that this is an absolute path to happiness, but for many people, engaging in such activities is much more pleasant than any other.

One could also say about such a thing as spiritual life and closeness to art. Still, a person must live by something spiritual. And in this regard, music - its study and performance, it is somehow more pleasant than TV or the Internet. Or communication with children. Many adults find it difficult to find a common hobby with a child. Why not get him into guitar playing? This is wonderful. What is the reason for doing something unpleasant to other people? Isn't it fun to play the guitar, just knowing that it pisses off your neighbors, teachers, parents and other nice people? Many people find pleasure in being rebels and causing discomfort to others.

In general, in my opinion, our British friends could expand this text to, say, 15 points. Easily. But let's not be harsh on them. Surely, after the first three sentences they wanted to give up everything and go have fun with distortion. We understand them. They are like that themselves. Thank you for at least managing to write so much in the eternal struggle with the desire to “throw everything to hell and go play.” So I guess I'll go. I have a couple of new riffs...

My wife and I have lists of free sex: which celebrities we could sleep with without consequences for our relationship, if the opportunity arises. I know it's stupid. But if you look closely, you can understand something about your girlfriend in this way.

I'm turned on by comediennes, but my wife is turned on by guitarists. Her list consists almost entirely of them. Dave Grohl is mentioned twice there. Two! Probably for reinforcement. My wife has a great sense of humor and is one of the funniest people I know. But I don't know how to play the guitar. At all. And I wouldn’t strike a chord, even if the life of my family depended on it. I imitate playing the guitar somehow ridiculously: it seems more like I have rhythmic pain in the gall bladder.

It's hard not to see my inability as a shortcoming. Although my wife insists that this is not the case, I have seen her gasp when Dave Grohl appears on the screen, and have repeatedly heard her say that there is a video of Lenny Kravitz's penis popping out in the middle of a guitar solo. My wife is not alone.

If we can say something general about all women, then yes, they all like guitarists. Even scientists confirm this. In 2013, a study was conducted in France with the participation of 300 girls aged 18 to 22 years. A stranger approached them on the street and said: “You are very beautiful, let’s go have a drink sometime.” If he had nothing in his hands, only 14% agreed. But if they had a guitar case in their hands, 31% were not only happy to chat with it, but also left their phone.

Men's Health often publishes articles such as "33 simple ways start her,” but among them there is no advice to learn to play the guitar. Or maybe it should? I asked several psychological experts about whether a man who plays the guitar, or even just plays the guitar, would be more attractive to women. With a few exceptions, they all came to the same conclusion: women like guitarists because they want to have children with them.

“Learning to play the guitar, like many other forms of acquired skill, signals intelligence and creativity,” explains John Meiner, professor of psychology at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management. “If you conceive a child from someone who is smart and creative, there is a high chance that the child will inherit these qualities, and for the reproductive process this will be considered a success.” Reproductive process. Do most of us associate these words with rock guitarists?

But how can you show off your intelligence and creativity if you're not performing in front of crowds of fans? As a journalist, I am also creative and at least try to be smart. But I usually write alone, not in public. If I want my wife to look at me the same way she looks at Dave Grohl, maybe I should try writing lyrics in front of her? I tried. I brought my laptop to bed. She looked at me like I was a homeless person defecating on the subway. “What the hell are you doing? What kind of grimaces are these?” – she asked. And this was me trying to imitate Carlos Santana. In general, a failure.

Carlos Santana

Anka Radakovic, certified sexologist and author of The Wild Girls Club Part 2,” gave me a different explanation for the appeal of guitarists that I found more useful. “When we watch him play his guitar, we fantasize about how he would ‘play’ our clit,” she said. “Guitarists are known to have magic fingers.”

Here it is, the essence. Perhaps it is not at all a matter of creativity or musicality, which translates into a desire to have a child with him. Maybe women just want to feel the touch of those fast fingers. Now everything is more or less clear. I'll take my laptop to bed again today. And I'll do some warm-up. Yes, I know it probably won't work, but I refuse to give all the credit to Dave Grohl.