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One can argue about whether it is worth calling her reluctantly “mom” or whether this is still a relic of the past. There remains one indisputable fact - you choose a husband, and you receive his relatives as a bonus, and whether it’s pleasant or not, depends on how you look at it.

For your mother-in-law, her son is the best/favorite/talented or just a man in whom she has invested a lot. Therefore, it is very difficult for her to admit that her very, very boy has grown up. Accept in one day, and often many years, the fact that a son can only have his personal, adulthood, in which she should not interfere with her mother-in-law is incredibly difficult.

She has to get used to her son’s new status, to the difficult changes, that a woman has appeared in his life who has “moved” her. That's why she can't just love you. It may well be that in the first years life together you will expect such “gifts” from your mother-in-law as attacks of jealousy, attempts to defend your authority, tricks and manipulations in order to influence your son.

But this does not mean that building a good relationship with your mother-in-law is something from the category of “mission impossible”. Your husband's family can become both a support for you and a reason for the drain of energy and love from the family. How your relationship will turn out depends at least 50% on your behavior and actions. If your husband’s parents, and in particular his mother, have become a reason for you to quarrel with your loved one, most likely you made a mistake when building a relationship with your new “mother”.

In this article, I suggest you analyze your behavior with your mother-in-law and look for ways out of the impasse. In the following list you will find the main tactical mistakes that lead to the fact that the “mother-in-law” problem grows to incredible proportions.

By the way, persistent irritation, anger and resentment towards your mother-in-law, complaints to everyone who is willing to listen about how unlucky you are - the first sign that there is a leak of energy from your family. Instead of directing your attention to your relationship with your husband and children, you waste your energy on the negative, focusing on something other than what actually requires your attention.

Why is this happening? Perhaps it's time to work on the mistakes? What should you not do in your relationship with your mother-in-law? Let's figure it out together with psychologist Lesya Matveeva.

Lesya Matveeva

Psychoanalyst, public figure,

personal development consultant,

presenter of channel 1+1.

1. Compete.

You should not share your husband with your mother-in-law. He's not an orange nursery rhyme, which is “only one.” He is a grown man who chose you as his life partner. His mother has known him since the first days of his life and his mother will always have a special place in his heart. And period. Don’t waste time and energy proving that you are more important/better/more important to him. You're both important, but you're on different levels. You are his beloved woman, wife, mother of his children; mother-in-law is a mother who will remain her no matter what, even if he stops communicating with her. You don’t need to compete, because just as you cannot, and most importantly should not, take the place of his mother, she will never replace you.

2. Let them into your territory.

This is not about a room or apartment to which your mother-in-law does not have access without your permission, although this is also important point. We are talking about your and your husband’s personal space, which should be inaccessible to anyone.

For a mother who “wouldn’t let go” of her son, the idea that she might not be welcome if she suddenly came to visit without warning is simply incredible. Therefore, at first you may be faced with the fact that your mother-in-law has no understanding of why her opinion was not asked and taken into account.

What should you do? Build boundaries for your family. This is difficult, but otherwise you will not have any intimate space and be prepared for your mother-in-law to demand the keys to your apartment (just in case), call in the middle of the night and make scandals about why you didn’t visit her over the weekend.

3. Develop rules under pressure from your mother-in-law.

After marriage, you and your husband begin to develop your own rules, create your own microclimate, and your task is to ensure that your mother-in-law does not interfere in this process.

Budget planning, making serious decisions, you should decide all this only with your husband. At first, your mother-in-law will test the strength of your family boundaries, giving advice, trying to influence your husband. But we cannot give in on this issue.

The best tactic is to listen if the mother-in-law wants to speak out and do things her way. Involve her less in personal matters, do not rush to discuss her husband’s shortcomings with her, hoping that she will influence her son.

4. Expect your mother-in-law to be on your side.

Superexpectations, especially those fueled by your husband’s stories “I have such a world-class mother!”, “You will definitely get along with her,” should not mislead you that his mother will love you like her own daughter.

Remember, the less you expect from your future mother-in-law, the less she will disappoint you. You must also understand that she has her own plans and fantasies for you. Perhaps she wanted you to bake pies, become her best friend, and give birth to three grandchildren at once. But instead, you’re so busy, you don’t spend time on cooking and you don’t plan to have children until you’re 35, until you’ve made a career. This is the first point of non-joining.

You shouldn’t blame your mother-in-law for not liking you. She a common person with all the inherent shortcomings. In her understanding perfect wife looks different from the always busy businesswoman.

At the same time, you may have wanted your mother-in-law to be different. More intelligent, wiser, so that you can count on her advice, can trust your children without fear, know that she will not give bad advice to your husband and will not set him up with his exes, and will let him into your family. So it’s worth accepting the real mother-in-law, saying goodbye to the fantasy image.

5. Take conflicts onto your shoulders.

Don’t forget that your husband’s mother, who loves scandals and squabbles, is primarily his problem. He shouldn't put it on your shoulders. Don’t let your husband withdraw and remain silent in important situations for the family. For example, with the same decision not to allow your mother to come visit you without warning, “out of the blue.” You should not be the “bad cop” in a relationship while your husband remains your favorite son. He is an adult man and since he has decided to create a union, to unite your lives, then there is no need to drag your mother there. Therefore, you must work together to protect family rules and boundaries.

6. Making a monster out of your mother-in-law.

So, despite all expectations, you need to learn how to communicate. Therefore, do not rush to declare that you will not get along with your mother-in-law. Start by finding a place in your heart for gratitude. This woman raised your husband, she is the future grandmother of your children, find positive qualities in her. Don't focus on its negative aspects, it won't make you feel any better.

“Why don’t I have a relationship with my husband’s mother, because I seem to be doing everything right... why does she interfere in our lives? I must admit that I mother-in-law got it with his peremptory tone, constant nagging, attempts to command in my family and insist on his own!” A young woman is crying, she is confused, offended and constantly stressed, she does not know who to turn to for help. After all, her husband is also not always on her side, and it is also not easy for him to withstand constant defense from both sides. And the family looks less and less like a quiet, cozy corner where you can relax...

The image of the Mother-in-law - an older woman with pursed lips and a gaze searching for flaws in her son's young wife - haunts generations of brides and daughters-in-law. A child appears in the family, grows up and in due course marries. He brings his wife into the house, and the former daughter-in-law begins to oppress the new daughter-in-law, just as she was once oppressed. As if there was some kind of revenge! Although it is not those who were to blame for the initial misfortunes who receive the blow back.

Why does the mother-in-law hate her daughter-in-law?

Why not live peacefully? Why in human society is the same very unconstructive algorithm of actions being produced that does not bring any joy? he assumes that the mother-in-law hates her daughter-in-law with fierce hatred and does everything. to quarrel with her husband - her son. Yes, there is no joy, but there are other psychological benefits that those who get involved in this confrontation receive.

And it’s interesting that a mother-in-law and a son-in-law can also have quite a few contradictions, and they do! However, there are a lot of jokes about the mother-in-law, but about the mother-in-law - one, two, and too many. (If you know_ share in the comments, I will be grateful). Why is that? Why do men who are more prone to aggression get along more easily with their wives' mothers? In my opinion, everything is clear. When a man is at enmity with a woman, he still treats it with humor. Yes, and there may be more sympathy, although hidden, there is a difference between the sexes! But between a woman and a woman it is a struggle for life and death.

Jealousy and power struggle

The reason is very primitive. And it's called JEALOUSY. In the case of mother-in-law-husband-daughter-in-law we see classic triangle . Two women fight for one man. And he is in an unstable balance between them. The reason for the appearance of any triangle is precisely the position of this side. He cannot finally choose and insist on his own, because he needs BOTH women, both a mother and a wife. And they are in it. For them, a husband is access to a resource: emotional (love), material (money, male help). Both prevent each other from taking possession of it completely. Jealousy is always a struggle for a resource, for POWER.

Do not agree?

An associative example: imagine that you are a gardener, you planted a fruit tree. You grew it, hilled it, watered it, sprayed it, pruned it... You waited for fruit for several years. And when they appeared, another gardener came and said: “Now I will take care of this tree. And I will also collect the fruits!” How do you feel about this?

If you're not close Agriculture, can you imagine that you spent 20 years creating a production enterprise fashionable clothes. We built, did design, spent money on brand promotion and a network of selling points. And when everything finally started to generate income - a raider attack. Your enterprise ended up in the hands of a young, energetic career woman who appropriated the fruits of your labors and didn’t even say thank you...

Like?

On this occasion, I remember a conversation with my friend, who was very disapproving of her son’s girlfriend. I asked what was wrong with it. It turned out that everything was so, but... “When you raise sons, some young fools will come and you’ll have to give them away! Will you like it? By the way, my interlocutor is smart and intelligent, but here such atavistic programs are evident... jealousy and struggle for power...

Put yourself in the place of your mother-in-law, and it turns out...

This is how the situation looks from the mother-in-law's side. And if you are a daughter-in-law, put yourself in her place and imagine how you would feel when a new manager took your rightful place (the manager). It will clearly seem to you that:

- will fail all the work;

- has the audacity to take your income;

- does everything wrong!

This last point is the root of mothers-in-law’s nagging. How can I not remember...

Old joke

A husband and wife are returning home. They see that the elder has brought home a girl and they are enthusiastically having sex. Son's thoughts: “I got it!”

The girl’s thoughts: “A reason to meet my parents!”

My husband’s thoughts: “What an ass!”

The mother’s thoughts: “The way she holds her legs, the child is uncomfortable!”

By the way, who are you reading this article? Mother-in-law or daughter-in-law? In both of these cases, (if the problem has already bothered you), you can exclaim: “What does this have to do with any trees-enterprises-resources, SHE’S just a BITCH!” This is if you are sick...

If you are a man...

If you are a man who cannot reconcile warring women, loves both of them and does not understand why they behave this way among themselves, then... deep down in his soul he will agree with me, because he understands. That yes, they are fighting for him, they cannot divide him, and in some ways this situation is even flattering...

Is there a way out of this? The mother-in-law has bothered her daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law is also good, and the husband doesn’t understand what to do, he fusses, rushes about and tenses, and this adds fuel to the fire. How should one behave so that everyone in the family can feel good?

What to do to stop quarreling?

All three participants in the triangle have their own tactics. Let's start with the BRIDE, as from the weakest (oppressed) link. Why weak, by the way? Of course, I don’t mean physical data, but the weakness of positions. A young woman comes into an established system that lives according to certain long-established laws and rules. Its weakness is that it has to either give up its own rules and get used to strangers, or fight. Her habits and principles are under close scrutiny and criticized by her mother-in-law. And it’s good if her husband is on her side, if he’s not mama's boy and mature enough to create new things (with his wife) rather than hold on to the old (with his mother).

Mama's boy, this is sad, of course... In this case, the daughter-in-law has little chance, because her mother-in-law is a more experienced fighter, seasoned in everyday life. But she has a way out! A young wife should become like this for her husband tidbit, for the sake of which he is able to abandon the old habitual stereotypes of submission and reward, brought up in him from birth. This is possible, but requires great cunning, resourcefulness, or even breaking off diplomatic relations with your mother. It should be remembered that the daughter-in-law always has a strategic advantage - a joint future (which she does not have with her mother) and... Oh! armor-piercing weapon - SEX! The night bird always chirps the day bird, this has long been known among the people...

If the son is a fully grown person, then it is better to unite with his mother-in-law; this is exactly what the daughter-in-law’s energy should be spent on, and not on war with her.

How to do it?

Be able to convey to her that you love her son and want to make him feel good. To do this, praise him and tell him how you care for him. Do not be shy! Who knows about your correct actions better than you? The husband may take this for granted...)
Let your mother-in-law know that you you are not going to encroach on their relationship . By the way, this is in your best interest! To the extent that he is accustomed to love and honor his mother, he will treat his wife well.
Let her know how much you are grateful to her for raising such a wonderful son . Nothing has such a pacifying effect on people as recognition of their merits.
Her advice and teachings should also be received with gratitude. . By and large, she doesn’t want harm to you, she wants good for her child. “Vasya loves fried eggs...” You shouldn’t tell her that yesterday you also ate them without fried, it’s better to say: “I didn’t know, thank you!” I'll try." And when you try, thank again and tell in poetry and colors how Vasya liked the scrambled eggs prepared according to her recipe... After all, she has been running this enterprise longer than you may have been alive in this world, and knows a lot about it. Why not take advantage of her experience? Put your pride in your pocket. She's a bad advisor.
Ask for advice! You will not only receive valuable information about your husband (not only about scrambled eggs), but also:

- save your time (you would have to ask your husband or guess);

— reaffirm her sense of self-worth.

You shouldn’t discuss with your husband “how your mom is wrong” , by doing this you make him torn between his two beloved women, and this is unpleasant for anyone.
Should you call your mother-in-law mom? For many, this is a fundamental issue. For many daughters-in-law, and for many mothers-in-law. In my opinion, yes is better than no. By calling her mom, you make it clear. that you join the family, accept its rules, and this will only contribute to the establishment good relations. If you call her by her first name and patronymic, this may constantly remind you that you are maintaining a distance and do not accept your husband’s mother as one of your loved ones.

Women who, contrary to wisdom, are inclined to “test” a man’s feelings, trying their best to attract him to one of the sides (whether they are wives, mothers, it doesn’t matter), are at great risk! The check may end in a quarrel. A man, tired of living in the tension of permanent conflict, can CHOOSE, and the choice will not be in your favor. Instead of confirmation that you are needed, you will receive rejection. War and discord are not a woman's way. Let's leave the men their toys! Women tend to build relationships and compromise.

Conclusion: your mother-in-law will love and appreciate you if you help improve the relationship between her and her son, and not worsen it. If you are attentive to her requests and in the name of peace in the family, you will motivate your husband to fulfill them before your own.

Husband's tactics

Women quarrel. In order not to add fuel to the fire, try to understand both. Stand (mentally) on your mother’s side and understand her position (intentions, demands, aspirations, resentments), try to feel what her NEED is?

If in love, then: “Mom, you are my favorite mother!” It's simple, say it and repeat it as often as you can. If in confidence that you are happy with your wife, talk about it too. Your mother is not a telepath. She does not always understand that “darlings scold, they only amuse themselves.” Tell her how good your life is, how your wife takes care of you. It wouldn’t hurt to say that “she really listens to you and appreciates your advice.” Even if it's not entirely true, sometimes it's worth lying a little for the sake of happiness in the family.

Then the same thing with my wife. Think about what she's missing, that could be it too love, the confidence that she is loved, the confidence that she is supported. And.. tell her about it! Or let us understand in any other way that is more familiar to you.
Do not carry on conversations with either of them that condemn the other. To all attempts to “run over”, answer “She is my mother. I love her,” or “She’s my wife, I love her.” They will soon give in and stop tugging at you if they understand. That you cannot be moved from these positions.
What to do if it occurs open conflict and you are being called on by both sides to take part in it? Whom to support?

Of course, this is largely a matter of context. That is, it is important what they are arguing about and whose position is closer to you. But if you can choose those, preference should still be given to the wife. It is with her that you will have to live your life, give birth to children and create a space of love for them, with your own laws. Remember that a young woman is vulnerable new family, and the only thing that supports it is your love. And if it so happens in your family that mother in law hates daughter in law - even more so!

You should always remember that the daughter-in-law is your ally in an enterprise called "my son's happiness."
A person cannot be changed. But it's possible win over , using the theme “We have common goals.”
He chose her, which means he needs her. Giving your grown son freedom of choice in such an important matter as choosing a wife means believe in him . Once he has chosen, it means he has the opportunity and the need to cope with the consequences of his decisions.

Why does the mother-in-law like to boss?

Yes, mothers-in-law tend to give orders. Why? A woman after 40 begins to master the male archetype. And this – authority, assertiveness, aggressiveness, purposefulness . And a man after 40 masters the feminine one. This is acceptance, gentleness, flexibility, the ability to negotiate and compromise. Therefore, it is so difficult for a young daughter-in-law, who is still in the “feminine” phase, to resist a mature mother-in-law, who has moved into the “male” phase. This is how the world works. The main thing for us is to understand that this is a natural process and to go along it, and not across it. She commands - I agree... Of course, I don’t always do what she wants, but I try not to enter into open confrontation. For what?

Now about mine personal experience. I was married 2 times, and I was lucky. I didn’t know what it was—a mother-in-law’s hatred of her daughter-in-law. Both were tolerant of my shortcomings and did not skimp on useful tips and they understood perfectly well that their sons were not angels. When I divorced my husbands, both regretted it. However, it should be noted that I did everything Daughter-in-Law Rules , which I wrote about above, except for the last one, that is, I did not call them “mom”.

ALL people at ALL times act in the name of one goal - to be happy. If you unite with your daughter-in-law (mother-in-law) for the sake of the happiness of your son (husband), and for the sake of happiness in the family, everything will be fine. And finally: after reading the article, I advise you to take note of what concerns you and not to say, “If my mother-in-law hadn’t bothered me... my daughter-in-law was sweet and friendly... my husband would have calmly reconciled you... everything would have worked out!” Your job is to do what depends on YOU, and forget about the rest. Changes always start with one thing, and others “catch up” sooner or later.

Personal consultations will help you resolve individual issues

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Rare daughters-in-law can boast that they have an even and friendly relationship with their mother-in-law. Usually the exact opposite happens

Young women face constant reproaches, remarks, and sometimes direct humiliation and undisguised disdain from the husband’s mother, who does not miss the moment to express her opinion about her son’s poor choice. Although more often than not it happens that the mother-in-law does not bother the daughter-in-law too much real help and communication, with one exception. For all her outward friendliness and smiles, this woman tries to embroil the young people in every way possible, interferes in their lives and believes that the young family has the right to live only at her behest.

Relationships with mother-in-law: rat - jealousy

The main reason for all scandals with mother-in-law is ordinary female jealousy. After all, now the mother-in-law is forced to share her beloved son with another woman. This problem is especially acute in those young families where the newly-made husband is the only son, into whom the mother invested all her feminine essence and who suddenly moved away or completely forgot about the existence of his mother, stopped obeying and became completely different. The mother-in-law perceives the situation as a personal challenge: some stranger came and befuddled her beloved child.

It is not surprising that the daughter-in-law is perceived with hostility. But it’s worse when behind the external piety of the mother-in-law hides a cunning, unprincipled nature ready to survive the “rival” by any means. Such a mother-in-law is capable of hysterics, vile intrigues and scandals. Moreover, she arranges everything in such a way that she herself looks like an innocent victim. Of course, this attitude infuriates the daughter-in-law; often, due to inexperience and impulsiveness, the young woman begins to say nasty things, without controlling herself and lashing out at her husband and those around her. To minimize such conflicts or avoid them altogether, you need to reconsider your relationship with your mother-in-law and analyze your own behavior with her.

What to do if your mother-in-law is “fed up”

Unfortunately, for every woman, and mother-in-law is no exception, it seems that the beloved man loves the other more and more strongly. This is what causes the subconscious belligerence and jealousy that poisons the lives of everyone. Psychologists say that in such a difficult situation, rely on sanity adult woman useless. Therefore, responsibility for harmonious and smooth relationships, both in own family, and with the mother-in-law, falls entirely on the fragile shoulders of an inexperienced young girl, who recently changed her status from “actively searching” to “married”.

To minimize conflicts with your mother-in-law and improve relationships, stop arguing about this topic with your beloved half, you need to show not only remarkable patience and wisdom, but also remember some categorical “don’ts”:

1. You should never complain to your husband about his mother;
2. You should not openly tell your mother-in-law that she is minding her own business;
3. When living together, you should not accuse your mother-in-law of tampering with things;
4. You should not complain about your mother-in-law to her friends;
5. You need to learn to share her son with your mother-in-law.

Complaining to your husband about his mother is not only useless, but also dangerous. Unless, of course, there is a desire to deliberately quarrel with your spouse. IN best case scenario he will simply remain silent, without reacting in any way to the complaints; at worst, he will take the mother’s side and actively defend her. In this way, you can find yourself guilty without guilt, provoke a scandal in your own family and leave an unpleasant aftertaste in your spouse’s soul from the conversation.

The fact is that men cannot stand female squabbles and least of all want to be the reason for these conflicts. And the second reason for the husband’s non-interference in the relationship is his reluctance to listen to nasty things and reconcile two women who are equally dear to him. Although there are exceptions, when a man either protects his wife from the attacks of his mother, clearly limiting the share of the latter’s intervention, or, due to weakness of character, runs away from both.

Openly accusing the mother-in-law of her bias, unscrupulousness and dishonesty automatically turns her into a victim. So she gets additional opportunity to say that her daughter-in-law is an ungrateful and soulless bitch. It is much better and smarter to tell your husband, putting on an innocent face, about your efforts to please his mother and unconditional respect for her authority, that she is a good woman.

We must remember to remind our husband to help his mother, call her, visit her cultural events or went to the store. Then it will be possible to preserve the love of your spouse, teach him to adequately perceive his own mother, and find in him a reliable defender from any attacks from his mother-in-law. And most importantly, make your husband an ally, with whose help it will be much easier to establish relations with your mother-in-law.

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Gone are the days when going to the theater was an event for which people carefully prepared - they sewed outfits, selected jewelry, luxurious shoes, that is, it was a full-fledged appearance. In modern conditions, watching a theatrical production is also an important event, although not as significant as before.

In any case, the question of how a woman should dress for the theater sometimes worries the fair sex. The dress code depends on the scale of the event: the opening or finale of the season, ballet or opera, an ordinary performance, a production in an experimental or puppet theater.

Of course, when deciding how to dress, you should take the season into account. The time of day is also taken into account - for daytime performances, the rules regarding dress code are less strict.

In the last two cases, a democratic outfit, including classic pants or a skirt + traditional white top.

You can choose black jeans with a smart blouse and jacket or everyday dress. The same applies to ladies who come to a theatrical performance from work without having the opportunity to change clothes.

We will tell you below how to dress for the theater for all other women.

Rules and taboos of theatrical outfits

So, to begin with, what a woman should absolutely not wear to the theater:

clothing in casual style, sportswear;
shoes with metal heels;
shorts, T-shirts, sundresses;
open sandals, flip-flops, ;
too bright, provocative clothes;
short dresses;
huge bags.

Relatively casual wear the prohibition is obvious due to its inappropriateness in a formal setting. As for shoes with metal heels, loudly clicking heels will prevent the rest of the audience from enjoying the performance, the annoying sound will cause unnecessary attention and, finally, such shoes will ruin the expensive parquet flooring.

Open toes and heels are not aesthetically pleasing (even if it’s a hot summer); in addition, the theater dress code requires women to wear tight flesh-colored tights, which are excluded in tandem with sandals. IN special cases When it’s very hot, a lady should at least get a pedicure.

Stockings, fishnet tights or bright colors are the height of indecency and vulgarity.

Autumn, winter, and sometimes spring are often characterized by slushy, dirty weather, so you will definitely have to change your shoes in the theater. In boots in theater Hall It is not customary to enter: in summer and winter it is recommended classic pumps on medium heels.

Bright, neon colors, sparkles, sequins, rhinestones on your clothes are tasteless. If a woman's shiny outfit gets caught in the spotlight, the resulting glare will create serious inconvenience for the actors.

What should a girl wear to a theater premiere? For an ordinary production it is suitable as the notorious black dress in a minimalist style, as well as a classic dark bottom, white top.

If you are planning to go to the opera (especially if your seats are in the stalls), then a laconic but luxurious flowing evening dress is quite appropriate.

In winter, a woman can complement her outfit with a small fur cape, for example, from mink or otter.

Please note - there should be no hint of vulgarity in clothing: if the back is open, then a neckline is unacceptable and vice versa.

A small, elegant clutch is ideal as an accessory for a woman - everything you need will fit there, and the handbag itself will be an excellent addition to the outfit. As mentioned above, large bags have no place in the theater, they will look strange there.

Regarding jewelry, a woman really needs it to go to the theater. You just need to know when to stop - one brooch or a discreet set consisting of a necklace and earrings is quite enough (but not costume jewelry).

Lastly, it is worth recalling that the makeup for going to the theater should not be too bright, the hairstyle should not be too high (so as not to interfere with the spectators behind them watching the performance), and Cell phones– turned off. Enjoy watching!

Unfortunately, modern women Rarely does one have a reason to wear nice outfit. For many, going to the theater is a festive event, during which they can not only spend time usefully, but also demonstrate to others their excellent taste.

Choosing an outfit for the theater

When choosing a toilet for a “going out”, you need to take into account the format of the performance, the characteristics of the audience and the time of the event:

Usually theatrical performances for older audiences take place in the evening, after 18:00. Therefore you can afford high heel, complex hairstyle and bright makeup.
Daytime performances are sensitive to the choice of toilet.
If you like to attend informal productions or house performances, then here you can relax and pick up something from your everyday wardrobe.

A cocktail dress with closed shoulders, made in subdued colors, is considered a win-win option for an evening out. The ideal length is to the knee or slightly below. If you want to look dressier than most, choose an ankle-length dress. A midi or maxi skirt is also appropriate for visiting the theater.

If previously going to the theater in trousers was considered unacceptable, today this rule is being violated more and more often. For example, as an alternative to a dress, you can wear trouser overalls. And regular trousers (but not jeans!) in combination with a beautiful blouse or smart jacket are quite suitable.

If you plan to go to the theater immediately after the office, when there is no opportunity to change clothes, it’s okay. A sheath dress, a skirt suit or, complemented by, is suitable for this occasion. True, at the end of the working day, this image can be complemented with jewelry and brighter makeup.

Grand premiere in opera house- this is exactly the case when it is appropriate to wear. Welcome evening dresses with an open neck and even back. You can cover your shoulders with a light cape or fur boa. Also, such an outfit is relevant for visiting the capital’s “name” theaters.

Shoes and accessories

For evening performances, choose shoes with heels of about 5-7 cm or platforms. You can go to daytime performances in more democratic shoes, for example, boots or ballet shoes.

According to the rules of etiquette, you should not wear open shoes to the theater: sandals, sandals, and especially flip-flops. If you are going to go to the theater in the cold season, give up felt boots, UGG boots, and “puffers” in favor of more sophisticated models. If it is possible to take a change of shoes with you, for example, elegant shoes, then this will be the best solution.

Going to the theater is often equated with festive event, but don't take it too literally. Don't try to put on your best at once. You can't go wrong if you choose beautiful, but laconic jewelry. This is jewelry from precious metals and stones, as well as high-quality jewelry. A small evening bag or clutch will successfully complete the look.

What should you not wear?

Theaters do not have a strict dress code that could prevent a visitor from attending a performance. Some people actively use this. Therefore, today you can see spectators in sneakers, jeans, shorts, stretched T-shirts, sportswear. It is better to leave such things for another occasion, for example, walking with friends. The theater should not be confused with a club. Minidresses, shiny tops, too revealing outfits - all this is unacceptable in this case.

When choosing an outfit, it is important to remember that it should not cause inconvenience to other visitors. This is why it is better to refuse high hairstyles. If you wear a hat to the theater, it is recommended to take it off during the performance so as not to block the view of other spectators. Leave large bags, bags, and backpacks in your wardrobe.

Despite the fact that in opera and drama theaters there are quite strict requirements for appearance, even here you can meet visitors in jeans and knitted turtlenecks. In order not to catch astonished glances, it is worth finding the line between theatrical fashion and modern realities.

Ksenia Alexandrova especially for the site
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