What is love: stages, love and passion, facts. What is love: stages, love and passion, facts Your relationship makes you better

All people on earth, regardless of gender, skin color, age and religion, are united by one desire - to be happy. Just to be happy, without thinking about what tomorrow has in store for us, without worrying about how much money is left in the account, whether your favorite football team will win, or whether there will be enough money to buy new Gucci shoes.

Happiness concept

However, each of us understands happiness in our own way. For some, happiness is the health and well-being of family and friends; for some - a dizzying career, bills on expensive cars and vacations in Hawaii.

Some people see their happiness in fame, recognition and creativity, while others will be immensely happy when they discover a tiny stale piece of bread, which will seem like the most delicious delicacy in the world, and find a place to stay for at least one night, so that in the morning continue again Happiness is different even in the understanding of men and women. What does a man need to be happy? Establish yourself in your own eyes and the eyes of others, earn decent money, occupy a certain position in society, meet a faithful and caring life partner and, paradoxically, eat delicious food. While a strong man's shoulder, a strong family, confidence in the future, healthy children are exactly what a woman needs for happiness, or rather, most women, not to mention those representatives of the fair sex who put self-realization and career first.

We live and work, striving to fill ourselves with moments, constantly asking ourselves what happiness is for and how to earn it. Why does a person need happiness? Why does the meaning of life for any of us come down to the search for this good? Are the concepts of “love” and “happiness” identical? A series of eternal questions that have no answers. Because happiness is difficult to achieve, changeable and deceptive. And there is no clear set of rules on how to find it and keep it.

Money for happiness or happiness in money?

One of the common beliefs that money makes us happier, unfortunately, is incorrect. And not even their number, as French millionaire Paul Getty said. 60% of millionaires, show business stars and successful businessmen abuse alcohol and pump themselves up with drugs in order to get out of depression, get sick more often and die prematurely from diseases caused by stress and injections that maintain youth and beauty. They experience the same feelings as people with limited financial resources, losing loved ones, worrying about children, fearing the future, suffering from loneliness, betrayal and betrayal. And no amount of money can give them an all-consuming feeling of satisfaction and joy.

And sometimes how little is needed for happiness: a hearty lunch and a restful sleep; brilliant exam results; the long-awaited “I love you.” Let it be a short-lived, but delightful moment of euphoria and delight, independent of the number of bills in your wallet.

Work as a way to become happy

According to the greatest thinkers and authors of thematic books, the meaning of happiness lies in purposeful work and exhausting work. The lack of joyful moments can be replaced by what you love, blocking the need for happiness with thoughts about expected success and goal achievement. And achieving your goal is one of the components of a happy and self-sufficient life. Moreover, the very process of moving towards it, each stage passed gives meaning to existence, fills life with colors, hopes, the sweet taste of the expected victory, giving wonderful, unique moments. However, in many cases, the end result brings only a feeling of bitterness and disappointment instead of the expected joy. Why is this happening?

“Everyone wants to live on the top of the mountain, but all the happiness, all the development happens while you are climbing there,” said P. Coelho. The path has been successfully completed, the goal has been achieved, and there is no longer that excitement, that aspiration, that adrenaline that fills life with a bright palette of feelings. What to do in this case and how many more similar roads do you need to go through to be happy? Psychologists recommend regularly setting various goals for yourself and achieving them. And then you will be able to keep the fickle and capricious Fortune near you for a long time.

Love and happiness. Are these concepts identical?

Returning to the question of what happiness is for, I would like to say that caused by an all-consuming feeling called “love”, it has a beneficial effect on a person’s health and life. Yes, she can do it, because the need for this wonderful feeling is inherent in us since childhood, we absorbed it along with mother’s milk, received it from family and friends.

Love and only love is what a woman needs for happiness, for the sparkle of her eyes, for preserving youth and beauty. Love is the very force that moves the world, softens hearts and inspires actions. Love, even unrequited love, contains happiness. It is happiness to feel, tremble, live with another person, rejoice, worry about him and even suffer. Only love can give a person a dizzying cocktail of feelings, a volcano of emotions and a hurricane of sensations. This is the highest feeling that everyone deserves and which gives true meaning to our existence.

Laws of a happy life

Each person should have his own personal set of laws for a “happy life”, guided by which he will make it better and more interesting. These golden rules are a kind of behavior aimed at achieving goals, fulfilling desires and finding spiritual harmony. They are wonderful because they serve as an excellent motivation for success, form a way of thinking, a value system, and in no case will allow you to give up, being a kind of answer to the eternal question of what happiness is for.

Victory over yourself

Capture your inner self and inspire it to achieve your dreams. Conquering yourself is one of the greatest acts worthy of admiration. Conquering yourself means defeating laziness, banishing doubts, internal fears, uncertainty and filling your consciousness with pleasant thoughts and the desire to achieve a goal. And as mentioned above, there is a condition that can make us a little happier.

Thoughts are material

We are the result of what we think about ourselves. You don’t need to consider yourself worthless, unnecessary, unlucky, just because there are people in your environment who are more successful, smarter and brighter than you. You will never be them, but you can become someone admired and envied. And in order to achieve such a result, you just need to believe in yourself, try to see only the good in everything, do good, be focused on success and not give up. Bad thoughts, a pessimistic attitude, whining and self-rejection are evil that will sooner or later destroy your life.

Generosity is a trait of strong people

Learn to forgive and let go. By forgiving the person who harmed you, you will free your soul from unnecessary memories and resentments. And by letting go of the source of pain, you will thereby destroy the pain itself, earning the right to a carefree existence unclouded by unpleasant memories.

Happiness is within you!

Yours should not depend on material wealth and values ​​accepted by the surrounding society. Don't consider yourself inferior to others if you don't have what they have. Happiness is different for everyone, it does not come with the purchased car, mansion, expensive things, but lives inside you, quietly and unnoticeably, until you realize it.

Don’t compare yourself with other people, don’t let them shape your life scenario, don’t adapt to other people’s opinions and social stereotypes. High social status is not a guarantee of a happy and carefree life, but rather a pitiful copy of it. Harmony of the soul is simple happiness that should settle in your heart and sow in it the fruits of love and luck.

Let's dream... What if it comes true?

Dream and believe in your dreams. Every dream has the wonderful ability to come true. Do not pay attention to those who are trying to convince you that it is impossible to bring it to life. The impossible will become possible, you just have to really want it. A person always considers himself weaker than he is, forgetting about powerful internal reserves, which are usually activated in difficult life situations.

Support Group

Learn to feel the people around you.

“Help from the audience” is a powerful stimulant, enormous support and untold wealth. The wider your social circle, the more friends and associates you have, the happier and calmer your life. Learn to win people over, be an interesting conversationalist, an attentive listener, a sincere and responsive friend. Know how to control your emotions, understand and justify the words and actions of another person, support his crazy ideas and endeavors. And then you will have a reliable rear and a huge support group that will believe in you, follow you and lead by example. Confidence in friends and self-worth - what does a man need to be happy?

By following these golden laws of life, you will not only achieve success, but also find peace of mind, inner harmony and respect from others, which are integral components of changeable happiness.

So what is happiness for? According to statistics, happy people live longer and get sick less. Their life is bright, sunny, interesting, they attract people like a magnet, infecting them with their enthusiasm, delighting them with raging vital energy, success contributes to them, they easily make all their dreams come true. Do you want to become like them? Stop complaining about life and blaming yourself for all failures, smile broadly and look at the world from a different angle. He's beautiful, isn't he?

Subject: Russian literature

Grade: 9

Subject:Preparing for an essay. (22 – 23 lessons)

Composition by work A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin".

“Why didn’t happiness happen?

Tatiana Larina and Evgeny Onegin?

(The theme of love in the novel by A. S. Pushkin

"Eugene Onegin".)

Lesson type: Lesson that completes an in-depth reading of the novel.

A lesson teaching essay-reasoning.

A lesson teaching how to draw up a regular plan and a quotation plan.

Goals: Be able to select the material correctly, analyze the work, write according to the topic of the essay, and use citations correctly.

Tasks : 1. Complete an in-depth reading of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

2. Analyze chapter 8 and answer the main question of the lesson.

3. Determine what is unique about the genre of essay-reasoning, name its components.

The main objective of the lesson:

learning to write an essay plan.

Technologies:

group, research, creative.

Equipment:

Illustrations for the novel and drawings by students;

Recordings of Onegin and Tatiana's arias;

Texts of the novel;

Textbook on literature 10th grade. V. G. Marantsman;

Decorated board.

Plan. (Lesson and as an essay plan).

II. Onegin and Tatyana are two banks of one life - a river.

1. Captured by books and light.

2. Meeting of heroes. (Village).

3. Letter from Tatiana.

4. Garden date.

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin).

7. Last date. Separation forever.

III. 1. The originality and role of composition in revealing the main plot line of the novel - the failed happiness of the author’s favorite characters.

Or

“God grant that in this book you (the reader) can find at least a particle.”

A. S. Pushkin

Introduction.

I. "Love is the heart of everything."

V. V. Mayakovsky

Main part.

II. “The shores, the shores. This bank and that bank - between them is the river of our life.”

Song

1. She “I fell in love with the novels of both Richardson and Rousseau.”

He "like Childe Harold sullen."

2. She : “You just walked in, I instantly recognized...”

He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. She : “I recognize that you were sent to me by God.”

He

4. She “I listened, barely breathing.”

He : “Your perfections are in vain. I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. He: “Another thing separated us, Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.” (Or "From everything thatheart nice, then I tore it off.”

She

6. He : “How Tatiana has changed! - Goddess of the royal Neva!”

She "... doesn't notice him."

7. He : “What a mistake I was, how I was punished!”

She

Conclusion

III. 1. “Forever alive, forever new.”

V. G. Belinsky

(Opinions and judgments about the novel from critics and readers of different eras).

Preparatory work.

1. Draw illustrations for the 8th chapter of the novel (your own, not copy them).

3. Answer the questions in writing (in workbooks):

How does the novel end? (Chapter 8).

Who and what is the whole novel about?

Your understanding (and A.S. Pushkin):

What is love?

what is happiness? Are they related?

Under what circumstances, where, how did Tatyana and Evgeny Onegin meet?

Why didn’t Onegin reciprocate, although he immediately noted her intelligence, modesty, and spiritual beauty?

Tatiana's letter to Onegin. How does it reveal Tatyana’s character and nature?

Onegin's confession to Tatyana (date in the garden) in response to her letter. How does it characterize Onegin, what are his character traits?

Why did the duel between Onegin and Lensky take place, because they were friends?

Have our heroes (Onegin and Tatyana) changed during the 2 years of separation?

Why did Onegin now fall in love with Tatiana, a society lady?

Why did Tatyana refuse Onegin now?

Who do you feel more sorry for: Tatiana or Onegin? And Pushkin?

Why does Pushkin leave his hero (Onegin) at such a fatal moment for him, and the novel remains unfinished?

Is it possible to continue it? If so, how would you complete it? Try writing another chapter (you can do it in prose, of course).

Why, in your opinion, did Onegin and Tatyana not become happy?

Or maybe they found a different kind of happiness? What? What is the ideal of the poet Pushkin?

Individual tasks.

1. Prepare brief information (repetition) about romanticism, sentimentalism, the uniqueness of their development in Russia (2 students). The material is in the textbook.

2. Prepare an expressive memorization of Tatyana’s letter (with my abbreviations) (1 student).

3. Re-enactment of the last date between Onegin and Tatiana (St. Petersburg). (I compiled it myself based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8. I prepared its performance.)

4. 2 individual tasks about Tatiana and Onegin: - a report about Onegin’s journey and how he appeared in St. Petersburg; - a message about what events happened in Tatiana’s life during Onegin’s absence, how are they explained?

Design of the board for the lesson.

Notes on the board: topic, goals, tasks, plan. (The plan is normal (left side) of the board, and the right is empty).

During the classes.

I. Introduction.

"Love is the heart of everything." (Or love and happiness are very close concepts.)

Conversation.

1. Guys, what and who is this novel about? (About love, about unfulfilled hopes, about young people of the 10s-20s of the 19th century.)

2. What is love? What meaning do you give to this word? What does Pushkin mean by the word love? (The guys name the words: love is passion, suffering, illness, illness, happiness or unhappiness, family; this is life, favorite job, beloved friends...)

I have already prepared these words on pieces of paper in advance and drawn a heart. I attach these words to it (like rays) (or all this on the poster).

It turns out that this is the basic outline (the guys can draw it in their notebooks)

Favorite job life

beloved friends passion

suffering

family Children

misfortune illness

happiness illness

3. What is happiness? (We do the same vocabulary work with this word.)

Sun (happiness): a sense of accomplishment, life, love, light, warmth of the family hearth, children, service to the Fatherland.

Let's write down the first output:

Love and happiness are very close concepts, they always coexist, one is revealed through the other. These words are synonyms. The novel “Eugene Onegin” is a novel about love, but one that failed and did not become happiness.

So today in class we will try to find out the reasons why the happiness of Tatyana and Onegin did not happen, what are the reasons. This is the topic of the lesson.

Let's move on to the main part of our reasoning.

II. Main part.

1. Captured by books and light.

1. Brief literary dictionary reference about sentimentalism and romanticism and the peculiarities of their development in Russia. (2 students are prepared in advance.)

2. Conversation with students.

Do you guys find the presence of these trends in literature regarding the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (Yes, especially since Pushkin himself called his work a “novel.”)

What is this novel: a tribute to fashion, that is, romanticism that was fashionable at that time, or an attempt by the author to explain the characters of his heroes and their relationships? (Both.)

What are our main characters Onegin and Tatyana?

What can you tell about them (based on the first chapters of the novel) about their lifestyle, hobbies, habits?

(To save time, 2 previously prepared students can briefly talk about them.)

Recording the output : Onegin and Tatyana live the life of book heroes, like all the youth of 10-20: Tatyana - Richardson, Rousseau; Onegin - Byron (“Childe Harold”), Benjamin Constant (“Adolph”).

Pushkin himself was fascinated by them and studied them! That is, Onegin and Tatyana are typical representatives of youth of the early 19th century, they are no exception, they are the same tribute to fashion; This is captivity, this is deception, these are mistakes, delusions, living under the impression of what you read. ("She fell in love with the deceptions of both Richardson and Rousseau”;He "like Childe Harold sullen.")

2. Meeting. (Village).

Conversation.

Briefly tell us how, under what circumstances, where did Onegin and Tatyana meet for the first time? (In the village, Lensky invited a friend to the Larins.)

What was this meeting like for Tatyana? (Fatal!)

Why fatal? What is the consequence of this meeting? (Tatyana falls in love with Onegin, but unrequitedly!)She : “You just walked in, I recognized it instantly.”He : “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. Letter (from Tatyana).

A student (in Tatiana's costume) reads by heart (abbreviated) Tatiana's letter.

Question for the class:

What can you say about Tatyana’s feelings, what are they?

How does the letter reveal Tatyana’s nature and character? (Her feelings are sincere, pure, strong, she fell in love for the rest of her life. She is an integral nature, but too trusting, believes in fate, etc.)

She : “I know you were sent to me by God.”

He: “...I was touched by innocent Tanya’s letter.”

4. Date. (In the garden.)

Conversation.

Why did Tatyana fall in love with Onegin at first sight?

(I read books, waited for my hero, saw him in Onegin - mysterious, different; I believed in the destiny of fate.)

Why didn't Onegin take advantage?divine gift , which fate sent him?

(I didn’t want to lose the freedom that I had just gained by leaving the “light” of St. Petersburg; he stillwas not able to love himself andcouldn't appreciate the love of another.) But he showed gratitude, warning where “inexperience leads.”

She : “... listened, barely breathing.”

He : “Your perfections are in vain,

I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin.)

Conversation.

What caused the separation of Onegin and Tatiana? (Duel, death of Lensky.)

Whytook place Onegin's duel with Lensky?A duel between friends?

(“The spring of honor is our idol.

And this is what the world revolves on!”)

Fear of gossip, rumors. Yes, and they are friends “with nothing to do.”

It turns out that Onegin is incapable of either love or friendship, because he is not free from the “light”, its laws. Only then will it come to him.

He : “Another thing has separated us,

Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.”

(Or "From everything thatsweet to my heart ,

Then Itore my heart out.")

She (in Onegin’s house): “Isn’t he a parody?”

The student and student briefly talk about how and where Onegin and Tatyana lived for two years apart:

about Onegin - travel andwhat returned to St. Petersburg as greeted;

about Tatyana - a series of events in her life, her feelings, thoughts,new external the appearance of the heroine.

6. New meeting. (Petersburg.)

Conversation.

How does St. Petersburg find Onegin’s “light”, and why?

(Strange, he doesn’t look like his former self, doesn’t look like them.)

What does the “light” advise Onegin? (Be like everyone else.)

What do you think is the “strangeness of Onegin”? What has changed in him? (I began to notice people, became capable of feeling, suffering,fell in love !)

How does he find Tatyana now? (He finds no trace of the former humble girl. She is unapproachable, cold: “Goddess of the royal Neva!”)He : “Goddess of the royal Neva!”She : “... doesn’t notice him.”

Let's see this with our own eyes.

7. Staging. "Last date."

(Last date scene

Onegin and Tatiana.)

It is based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8 of the novel.

Conversation.

How is this date different from the first one, in the garden, in the village? (Onegin has become himself, loves, suffers, but does not find the same Tanya. The situation has changed just the other way around. She is now teaching him a lesson in morality.)

How does Tatyana motivate Onegin’s sudden love for herself? Answer with lines from the novel. (Which is noble, that in the world, that her shame would be noticed by everyone.)

What do you think: is she right? (No! He loves sincerely, repents of his previous mistakes, that then “he didn’t give in to the habit”, that “he didn’t want to lose his hateful freedom.”)

What do they both understand? (that they both love each other. That Tanya is the same, that Onegin is different, but that happiness is impossible.)

Why does Tatyana ask to leave her? (She got married, is faithful to duty, values ​​her husband’s honor, respects him, because he is a noble, battle-wounded general, respected by everyone.)He : “How wrong I was, how I was punished.”She : “But I was given to another, I will be faithful to him forever.”

8. What mistakes did they both make?

(Tatyana got married, yielding to her mother’s pleas, and “all the lots were equal” to her; Onegin once did not believe himself (“the habit was given to us from above”), he could not once become above the “light.”)

Conclusion : Their happiness did not happen for many reasons (mistakes that both of them made): a tribute to fashion; Tatyana’s ignorance of the laws of social life, her carelessness; the desire to be free from family ties as Onegin; duel; Tatyana's marriage.

What lesson of life, what science of love did Pushkin teach us? (Life is harsh, in contrast to its beauty in books, in dreams; it is filled with human suffering, separations, late awareness of one’s mistakes and the inability to correct them, since it is impossible to turn back time, to live again (you cannot step into the same river twice). So it always was, so it is and so it will be...

What examples of such a fate of heroes in works of classical and modern literature do you know?

(“Romeo and Juliet” - literary heroes; M. Volkonskaya - in life. She, like Tatyana (in the r. “Eugene Onegin”), did not marry for love, but carried a high sense of duty throughout her life, went for her husband to Siberia...) The same destinies, sufferings, and mistakes of life are sung in the song “Shores” performed by A. Malinin. Let's listen to her.

9. (Musical pause.)

III. The final part of the lesson.

"The distance of a free novel."

1. The role of composition, its originality in revealing the ideological concept of the novel.

Questions for the class:

What can you say about the composition of the novel?

What is the role of chapter 8 in it?

What is unique about the composition of the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (answer)

Then I. (The composition is traditional and simple, since the novel reveals the typical fate of the heroes in the development of their love relationships.

At first : She loves him,

He won't notice her.

She writes him a letter and listens to his sermon.

Then: He loves her, she does not notice him; he writes her a letter, listens to her sermon

This often happens in life. This is a simple structure of the novel (mirror composition, reverse reflection.) But it emphasizes the complexity of human relationships and the experiences of our heroes.

Critics, readers about the novel.

2. Now let's turn to the opinions of critics and literary scholars (Pushkin's contemporaries and today). What did they find in the novel, what do they think about its characters?

(The statements of Belinsky, Herzen, Dostevsky, Merezhkovsky, Lotman, Kuchelbecker, Gukovsky end.) We read from the textbook and listen to individual information from the student.

Question for the class : -Are their opinions clear?

Answer : “No, different. Yes, many coincide..."

Question : "And why?"

Answer : …

Conclusion (teacher ) : because our life is filled with diversity, movement of thoughts, destinies. The main thing in it is the ability to overcome difficulties, the ability to think, feel, love, warm others with your love, shine for others like a candle in a dark night, warm others who need it with the warmth of your outstretched hand. This is what the great Pushkin hoped for, and prayed to God for this: “God grant that in this book, reader, you could find even a grain.” I. Moiseev and A. Pugacheva sing about this in the song “Two Candles in a Dark Night.” (Light candles from one to another, join hands and listen to the song.)

2nd musical break.

Our journey through the pages of Pushkin’s favorite novel “Eugene Onegin” has ended, the last page of the life of his favorite heroes has closed. Take his wise advice with you into life, carefully, like a candle, carry your love through life and remember that love (as the poet told us) is a priceless gift, a divine gift! Learn from Pushkin all your life.

Lesson grades. They are ranked according to the number of tokens and their colors that the students earned during the lesson.

Homework .

Write an essay on one of the suggested topics. (The topics were given in advance in one of the lessons at the beginning of the commented reading of the novel.)

Here is a list of these topics.

1. Why didn’t Onegin and Tatyana’s happiness happen? (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

2. The role of the episode (“Tatyana’s Dream”) in revealing the character and fate of the main character of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

3. “Where there are no passions,

Where there is no sadness -

There is no life there.

V. Belinsky

(Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin” or the student’s choice.)

4. “I love my dear Tatyana so much.”

A. Pushkin

5. Features of the genre and composition of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin”.

6. My opinion about Onegin. (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

Love is a set of emotions, actions and beliefs united by a strong feeling of affection, security, warmth and respect for another person.

Additionally, the concept of love can be applied to animals, abstract phenomena, or religious beliefs. For example, a person might say that he loves his cat, freedom, or God.

The best thing you can hold on to in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn

Love has always been a popular topic of discussion, raised by philosophers, poets, writers and scientists for countless generations, and many of them have come up with different formulas for love, having their own views on its definition, conditions of occurrence and forms of manifestation.

While most researchers agree that love involves a strong feeling of affection, there is much disagreement about its exact meaning, resulting in different attitudes among different people.

Characteristics of love:

1. Higher priority for the well-being and happiness of the love object compared to one's own needs.
2. Strong feeling of affection.
3. Feelings of attraction and respect.
4. Desire to provide help and care.
5. A combination of the above characteristics.

There have been many debates about whether love is a free choice, or whether it is capable of enslaving despite the presence of will, whether it is permanent or fleeting, whether love between family members and spouses is biologically programmed or imposed by society.

The concept of love can vary depending on the individual as well as the culture in question. The result of every dispute about love is closer to the truth in relation to some time or place.

For example, in some cases love can be a choice, while in others it can be an uncontrollable feeling.

Love, passion (infatuation), romantic love

Especially in the early stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to discern the difference between love and passion (infatuation).

Combined with an overwhelming desire to be close to another person, both feelings are driven by physical attraction and the intoxicating effects of hormones, but only one of them is characterized by longevity - love.

Love is something that begins between two people and develops over a long period of time, experiencing many life ups and downs along the way. Therefore, love requires time, fidelity, mutual trust and acceptance of a person as he is.

Passion associated with sexual experiences that initially attract people to each other and are fueled by the desire to reproduce.

Passion, by blurring your consciousness with the influence of hormones and the idealization of the personality of its object, dulls the ability to see a person in his true light, and therefore it is not always able to become a direct path to a long-term relationship.

The ideal scenario for a strong relationship involves a balanced combination of love and passion.

Love, i.e. passionate infatuation with another person, combined with a feeling of attachment, form romantic love, which is an important early stage of a long-term relationship.

Rekindling the original spark of passion is a practice that happy couples should definitely follow.

Love and passion. Differences

To determine for yourself the difference between love and passion, answer yourself 5 questions.

1. Does your relationship make you a better person?

Only love can make you feel like you are capable of anything, and for an extended period of time.

Passion carries within itself an opposite, destructive force. It stops you through restrictions on your freedom and implicit prohibitions on self-realization.

Passion worsens the quality of life of both partners, but love gives freedom, motivates, and makes lovers better.

2. Where is your “I”?

Is your Ego at the core of your relationship, or is your loved one at its center?

Do you prefer to give or receive?

Do you keep track of how much you did for your partner and how much he did for you?

If you're willing to do whatever it takes for your girlfriend or boyfriend without your own benefit, from sending love messages to sacrificing your beliefs and principles, then it's probably love.

When you're in love, the other person's happiness is more important to you than your own well-being.

Passion is self-centered, but love is completely selfless.

3. What attracts you to your partner?

Passion for another person works mainly on a physical level, causing you to admire the appearance, body, voice, gait or object of attraction.

Love, first of all, is aimed at the partner’s personality, his inner world, way of thinking, life values ​​and other internal qualities.

Physical attractiveness is, of course, also important, but to a much lesser extent.

Thus, passion is based on external attraction, love - on internal personal values.

4. Are you being yourself in a relationship?

If each of you can answer “Yes,” you are definitely meant for each other.

If you are able to be yourself, telling your loved one about the most personal things, doing what you like, and not trying to control your behavior, you can be sure that this is love.

Honesty, complete trust, understanding, intimacy, mutual sympathy and romantic feelings create a stable platform for a long-term union.

When you don't have to wear masks to cover your true colors; when you are not afraid of being misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, judged for who you are; when you always try to understand your partner's actions without judging - all these are the building blocks of true love, not passion.

Passion dictates the rules, but love frees you from inner servitude, it does not judge, it comes to you for who you are.

5. Are you ready to develop together?

Love cannot stumble or break. She is able to withstand all types of life obstacles that arise on a joint path, finding a way out of any current circumstances.

If you feel that you can be with this person forever, regardless of whether you receive the same amount of care and warmth as you give, that is love.

Passion is temporary and fleeting, so sooner or later a relationship based on it will end.

Passion flares up and goes out, ceasing to exist. Love is stable, deep and constant.

Love is timeless.

Love and mental health

While there is no single truth when it comes to defining love, most people agree that love plays a vital role in both physical and mental well-being.

Benefits of love:

1. The lack of love and care that children may experience almost always has a negative impact on their future lives to varying degrees.
2. The feeling of lack of love has a strong relationship with low love, and can cause a condition.
3. People who live loving lives tend to be happier.
4. Love and a sense of emotional unity can have a direct impact on health, helping to improve immunity.

Love and physiology

From an evolutionary perspective, love can be seen as a survival tool—a mechanism we evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual protection, and parental support.

When you realize that someone is attractive to you, love, among other things, begins to manifest itself in the form of a biological process.

Your body is amplifying what your mind already knows—this person is making you feel amazing.

When we feel close to another person, our brain signals our body to release hormones such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine and norepinephrine.

These chemicals cause us to become overwhelmed with loving thoughts and experience the physical sensations we associate with love.

More about “love hormones”:

1. Serotonin. This hormone improves your mood. Those who take certain illegal drugs cause a huge increase in serotonin levels. Instead, they could simply find someone who would love them - and there would be more benefits and health.

2. Oxytocin. Is the biological basis for love. This hormone is produced during lovemaking, filling you with a feeling of affection for your lover.

3. Vasopressin. Along with oxytocin, it is responsible for the feeling of closeness to someone.

4. Dopamine. Bears responsibility for desire and reward, i.e. you feel great pleasure when you are rewarded with love, whether it is expressed through kindness, touch, a date night, or a feeling of happiness.

5. Norepinephrine. It is produced when you fall in love and feel the excitement of wanting everything to work out and develop well. Such physical sensations are manifested by a rapid heartbeat or clammy palms.

Stages of love (relationships)

1. Falling in love

Falling in love is the most exciting stage of love, and many will agree with this.

When a man and a woman find each other attractive, a spark of attraction flashes between them, causing them to drown in the ocean of romance and passion.

At this stage, you simply cannot stop thinking about the girl or guy, they are constantly on your mind. It is now that the meaning of the old saying “love is blind” is most clearly manifested.

This “charm” stage brings a lot of romantic emotions, laughter, flirting and playfulness, and all the negative traits of the partners are ignored. Much emphasis is placed on the similarities you both share.

People at this stage seem to “fly” when they are together, and cannot wait to be close to each other if they are separated. Butterflies fly in the stomach, and trembling hearts seem to freeze.

At such moments, most people are sure that they have found their soulmate, but the underlying reason for all these uncontrollable emotions is physiology.

“Love hormones” make you feel euphoric, induce a cheerful mood filled with happiness, and increase your overall energy level. It seems that you are a different person, your sexuality is at its peak, you feel like you can handle anything, you are simply fearless.

In this state, you are able to get married before moving on to the next stage of love, ignoring the underlying flaws in your partner.

Sure, the romantic feeling in question seems wonderful while it lasts, but it can't last forever, even if you really want it to.

By combining with feelings of intimacy and affection, infatuation transforms into romantic love.

2. Saturation (addiction)

After several months of living together, when the “chemistry of love” ceases its active phase of influence, couples return to their usual selves with their usual mood and level of attraction.

Things return to normal and instead of focusing on each other, the couple becomes more active professionally and in other daily activities.

Young people who are unaware of this stage of love may think that the feelings have passed. Sometimes they may get upset due to lack of attention from their lover.

Minor disagreements and even quarrels are a normal part of this stage. It's worth recognizing that healthy confrontation is natural because it helps both of you understand the situation better.

As you learn to resolve problems and conflicts that arise, your relationship will become more mature.

At this stage of love, you may wonder why your sex life has become a little stale, or why you sometimes find your partner irritated.

You begin to evaluate your other half more objectively, and the conclusions that come to mind can cause delight or apathy.

What you need to do is move on. The best is yet to come, even if you feel like the relationship has faded.

3. Disgust (quarrels)

You may have a lot of expectations from your loved one. You can even try to bring your partner closer to your ideal image.

This stage of love resembles a power struggle, and sometimes relationships end if one party dominates the other too much.

Instead of focusing on the similarities, as you so cleverly did when you were in love, you now focus on your partner's differences and shortcomings.

Some couples are at this stage. Others, experiencing pain and dissatisfaction in relationships, come to the conclusion that true love is associated with compromises, and instead of withering away in the conflicts that arise, one can find a way out with the help of understanding, warmth and kindness.

4. Humility (understanding)

Reaching this stage of love means that you now understand your partner much better.

At this stage, couples are in a joyful state, but do not stop making efforts to work on their relationship.

Now both partners accept each other for who they really are, but they should not rest on their laurels. Avoid misunderstandings and continue to get to know each other better.

The stages of love can often bring turmoil into relationships, but if you are aware of their existence, moving from one stage to another will not be such a difficult task for you.

To move to the next stage, accept each other's strengths and weaknesses. You need to focus on the positive, not focus on the negative, and learn about the goals and interests of each of you.

5. Study

Once a couple goes through the aforementioned stages of love, all unrealistic expectations tend to disappear.

Each party begins to open up more and more to each other, and there is a clearer understanding of how they can work together effectively in the relationship.

Couples begin to define and clarify their roles in the relationship, as well as their compatibility with each other.

There is a need to resolve certain issues, such as how much time a guy and a girl like to spend together and how long to stay alone, how each party is used to expressing and receiving love, etc.

Once couples can effectively communicate their needs to each other, they will be able to avoid many unpleasant things, such as aggressive behavior, avoidance, criticism, or defensiveness.

Focus instead on understanding, compassion, forgiveness and patience.

6. Proximity

This is the stage when they experience true intimacy. They support each other even better by giving and receiving love in return.

Ups and downs are an integral part of any relationship. However, the trust and loyalty of both partners will be able to carry them through these troubles without significant obstacles.

At this stage of love, each of you will stop focusing on your own personality and shift your attention to what is best for the relationship.

Now you feel unity, individuality, and love for each other. At the same time, the spirit of unity still prevails, further strengthening your relationship.

At this stage, you feel like an ideal couple. Many lovers may even decide to tie their fate with family ties, since they have come so far.

7. Doubts

Usually this stage occurs after many years of marriage. You may start thinking about your ex-lovers and past relationships, or start comparing your current partner to your previous ones.

At this stage, much depends on the level of satisfaction with the existing relationship. If you feel dissatisfied and hurt, you tend to blame your partner for it.

You may even start comparing your relationship to other couples in your circle.

But you shouldn’t add fuel to the fire, because you are able to get through this not the most fun stage.

8. Sexuality

At this stage of love, your intimate life plays a key role. Changes in love preferences are possible when one of you becomes less interested in realizing wild fantasies, or, conversely, wants to do something incredible.

If there is a significant difference in your passions, one of the partners may have an affair.

The key to solving the main problem at this stage is to find creative ways to make your sex life more varied and exciting, thereby strengthening your relationship.

9. Love

This is the highest stage of a relationship when both partners completely love and trust each other. However, sometimes the complete trust you have developed can cause you to take each other for granted, so be careful.

At this stage of love, you know each other very well, you know what to expect from each other, and you also clearly understand the direction of the relationship.

Even though there is complete bliss and understanding at this stage, do not stop appreciating and respecting your partner because love should be constantly cultivated and developed.

Remember that love is like a plant that needs nourishment to keep it alive.

34 interesting facts about love

1. Monogamy

And although humans would like to think that we are completely different from the rest of the animal kingdom, we are not the only creatures whose relationships are characterized by monogamy.

Wolves, gibbons, albatrosses and even termites are known to choose a mate for life.

2. Time required to evaluate attractiveness

First impressions are very important, especially when you consider that it only takes 4 minutes to decide whether you like someone or not.

It's not just how he looks and what he says that influences, but also his body language and the tone and speed of his voice.

3. Synchronization

If two lovers look into each other's eyes for a long time, their heartbeats will synchronize in about 3 minutes.

4. Addiction

Falling in love is similar to the effects of drugs because it uses similar parts of the brain and causes similar chemical reactions.

So, away with the use of illegal substances, instead, love and be loved.

5. Reduce headaches

Oxytocin, the love hormone produced by the body during hugs, helps reduce headaches and improve sleep.

The next time you have a headache, just hold your loved one close to you.

6. Levels of attractiveness

People often fall in love and begin relationships with others who have a similar level of attractiveness.

If someone in a relationship is physically more attractive, then, most likely, he compensates for the existing disadvantages due to the presence of other important socio-cultural qualities.

7. Too identical

Couples in which people are too similar tend to break up quickly.

Researchers have found that similarities help form the foundation of a relationship, but if partners have nothing to learn from each other, they are more likely to break up.

So opposites attract.

8. Time limit

Scientists believe that the peak of infatuation or romantic love occurs around one year after the start of a relationship.

We remind you that it is falling in love that makes you experience euphoria and butterflies in your stomach.

After falling in love passes, the relationship ends or moves to a higher level, transforming into true love.

9. Associations

Research shows that a loving mindset has a positive effect on creativity, abstract thought, and long-term planning.

Thinking about a fleeting intimate relationship affects immediate decision making and attention to the current moment.

10. Face or body?

People looking for a short-term fling are more concerned about their partner's attractive body than the beauty of his face.

In contrast, those wishing to enter into a long-term relationship prioritize the attractiveness of the face over the body.

11. Hold hands

The next time you find yourself stressed, try holding your loved one's hand, because romantic handshakes can help reduce stress and feelings of physical pain.

12. Gratitude

Expressing gratitude to your loved ones results in an immediate spike in happiness levels.

13. Butterflies in the stomach

The butterflies in your stomach that you feel when you fall in love are a result of your body producing the hormone adrenaline.

14. Pupils of the eyes

When you look at your loved one, even if it is just a photograph, the pupils of your eyes will dilate.

It should be added that people with dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.

Therefore, it is not surprising that when you are in a relationship, you seem more attractive to the opposite sex.

15. Finding love

Long-term research has led to the conclusion that the happiness and life of most people almost always revolve around love or the search for love.

So even if you don't find your other half, just searching will lead to a happy life.

16. Lucky number seven

On average, people fall in love seven times before they finally decide to start a family. The seventh attempt, as a rule, becomes the reason for marriage.

17. Male gaze

On average, a man spends a whole year in his life looking at women.

18. Self-esteem

People with higher self-esteem tend to have longer-lasting and more successful relationships.

If you are not capable, why expect this high feeling from other people?

19. Emotions during separation

Statistically, men are more susceptible to negative emotional impact due to a breakup than women.

20. Long life

It is believed that husbands who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer. And this is another five years extra to see your loved ones every morning.

21. Dislike

Some people are unable to experience love due to a condition called hypopituitarism, due to a decrease or complete cessation of hormone production by the pituitary gland.

22. Symmetry

Facial symmetry is the basis of beauty and attractiveness, or so the human brain thinks.

Those with symmetrical facial features make love more often and can boast of a large number of fans.

23. Rose-colored glasses

Being in love suppresses the parts of the human brain responsible for perceiving social judgment.

Nobody wants to think about falling in love with a terrible person.

24. Love quest

Romantic situations involving obstacles that arise in the path of lovers are important factors in falling in love, influencing how deeply you fall in love.

The longer the romantic path and the more intricacies, the brighter and stronger the feelings of love and longing appear.

25. The dark side of love

According to statistics, more than 50% of murders of women are committed by their lovers or husbands.

26. Treason

Nearly 60% of married men said they had been unfaithful to their wives. Married women responded with a figure of 40%.

This information was compiled from a survey, so dishonesty on the part of either group cannot be ruled out.

27. Crisis of four years

Most marriages around the world experience a relationship crisis after four years of marriage.

The next important stage that the spouses have to overcome awaits them after the next four years, i.e. upon the eighth anniversary.

28. Forever young

Usually men marry women for the first time who are the same age as them or within 3 years younger.

When remarried, the age difference is usually approximately 5 years.

For the third time, a man most likely pays attention to women who are 8 or more years younger than him.

29. Biology

The desire to love, like the desire to eat food, is a biological stimulus with which we are born.

So even men are more lovers than warriors.

30. Dangerous Lover

You are more likely to fall in love with someone (especially women) if you are in a dangerous situation.

31. Beer belly

Women are less attracted to men who have decided to reward themselves with a beer belly.

The presence of an excessively protruding male belly indicates lower testosterone levels, which means a reduced ability to reproduce.

32. Sense of humor

A sense of humor is most often associated with honesty and intelligence.

This is why most women are attracted to men who can show off humor.

33. Competition

Male attractiveness increases if a man is surrounded by other women.

34. Voice

Men with a lower voice timbre seem more worthy of attention in women's eyes.

What does love mean? In physiology, this process is accompanied by the release of dopamine and serotonin - hormones that cause feelings of happiness and euphoria. A simple chemical reaction that will never last forever. So why does such an ephemeral feeling, which cannot be logically explained, calculated and justified, become an integral part of life?

Love

So, this term has many interpretations. It would seem such a simple word, but it is precisely in it that the essence and meaning of human existence lies. Love is a feeling peculiar only to man - deep affection and sympathy for another.

This is one of the themes in world culture and art. People always like to talk about love. Ancient philosophers spoke about it, poets wrote about it, and celebrities gossiped. Love is caring and attentive attitude towards someone. You can talk about it forever, but you need to learn how to express this feeling correctly. Love is a selfless and joyful concern; it should not be blind, but based on reason.

Points of view of philosophy

The concept of love has always been part of philosophical dilemmas. In philosophy, it has often been considered a subjective indicator of happiness. But for each philosopher this happiness was different. Love was identified with beauty, knowledge, the universe or sexuality.

For example, Empedocles believed that to love means to strive for unity with the Universe. For Plato, this feeling was inextricably linked with the sphere of knowledge. Aristotle even declared that love is nothing more than friendship, but not a sensual attraction. But at the same time, he wrote a very accurate quote about love: “ To love means to wish someone what you consider good for him, and to the best of your ability to provide him with these benefits.».

Sufi philosophers and writers of Persia equated love with wine. Just as a red liquid fills a vessel, so love fills a person with spirituality.

In the Middle Ages, love became the object of poetry and religious mysticism; during the Renaissance, this concept finds outlet in the pursuit of beauty; in the Baroque era, love was considered absolute knowledge, which brings pleasure. In the new philosophy, the relationship between love and sexuality has already begun to be traced, which is especially clearly manifested in the teachings of Freud.

What is love like?

And yet this is just a term raised within the framework of dialectical teachings. No matter how much you talk about love, you will never be able to give it an accurate description. Therefore, it has long been customary to divide it into several types. Russian philosopher V. Solovyov said that love is the attraction of one being to another for mutual complementation in life. In accordance with this, he defined its three main categories:

• Descending - she gives more than she receives in return. For example, the love of parents. In a person, this category can manifest itself as a desire to protect the weak, and gradually this love is transformed into national-state life.

• Rising - she receives more than she gives in return. A completely opposite example is the love of children for their parents or the affection of pets for their patrons.
• Sexual - she gives and receives equally, for example, the love of spouses. Such a feeling can achieve a form of perfect reciprocity and become a symbol of the ideal relationship between the selfish “I” and the social “We”

Components

The philosopher also says that this feeling consists of three main components:

1. A pity. This feeling is characteristic of parental love.
2. Awe. That is, reverence and a feeling of gratitude to one’s protector and patron.
3. Feeling of shame. Together with pity and reverence it forms a form of conjugal love.

This is what love means, a symbiosis of feelings that a person experiences in the process of his socialization.

Axiom

But if we leave science alone for a moment and turn to human feelings directly. Love is not such a simple thing, it is multifaceted, eternal, sincere and real. Philosophers tend to simplify everything, but there are so many beautiful poems, songs and stories about love in the world. Yes, without a doubt, one of the scientists will say that all love stories are a myth that misleads humanity for the sake of procreation. But this feeling cannot be decomposed into molecules or measured by the attraction of two people using a formula. This is an axiom that you just need to believe in, no matter how irrational it may seem.

Of course, there are many love stories with unhappy endings. People come together and separate, talk about eternal feelings, and then cheat, get married, and suffer from domestic violence. You can give hundreds and thousands of examples of unsuccessful relationships, but this does not mean that love does not exist, it is simply very often confused with falling in love.

Love and infatuation

All problems in love begin with a misunderstanding of what is love and what is infatuation.

• Falling in love is a destructive feeling. Love has a beneficial effect on a person. It gives strength, promotes creativity and helps achieve your goals. Falling in love leads to a decrease in performance. A person loses the desire to develop, and very often, finding himself in the abyss of thoughtless desire, a person abandons his past interests, aspirations, and hobbies. Over time, irritability and fatigue appear. Lovers build castles in the air that are incompatible with reality, while lovers turn reality into a dream.

• Falling in love makes peace with its shortcomings. It is a stupid assumption that a loved one must be accepted with all his shortcomings. If you really love a person, then you help him become better. Falling in love is “rose-colored glasses” behind which you cannot see the real state of things.
• Falling in love cannot withstand a breakup. If the wind blows on a weak fire, it will certainly go out. A strong flame flares up even stronger from the wind. Loving people when separated realize that their feelings are growing stronger day by day. For lovers, distance puts an end to a relationship, as they say, “out of sight, out of mind.”

Love and infatuation are different things. The first tends to burn forever, while the second goes out very quickly.

Happiness

Love and happiness always go hand in hand. These are the highest emotions that only humans can boast of. Animals do not know these feelings; they can only feel satisfaction from peace and satiety. And yet the man never ceases to amaze. It can combine both animal and divine principles.

People don't like to stress, so they dream that all their desires will come true as if by magic. In such cases, well-fed peace is mistaken for happiness, and love begins to be identified with a feeling of sexual attraction or the social attitude “it’s time to start a family.”

Love cannot always bring joy and pleasure. It will never bring a feeling of permanent peace. And yet it is inextricably linked with the concept of happiness, which should be understood as a feeling of completeness and meaningfulness of being. And here we are not talking about such indicators as home, career, family, but about completely different characteristics. A person can have everything and be deeply unhappy, or he can feel deep satisfaction from simply existing in this world. Such a person loves himself, those around him and his life. He accepts the world in all its diversity, and life boils inside him, filling reality with indestructible meaning. And the most vivid emotions are given by happiness that has been suffered, achieved through one’s own efforts, and it is truly connected with love. Perhaps to a person, maybe to a business or life, but in any case, love and happiness are two sides of the same coin.

Songs

Love gives inspiration, and even a relationship with a sad ending can become a success story. The best songs about love are proof that this feeling is eternal, genuine and indestructible. For example, Whitney Houston's composition I Will Always Love You is considered a real anthem of love; this hit has not lost its popularity for several decades. Or Lara Fabian's song Je Taime, which really gives you goosebumps all over your body. The best love songs will not leave anyone indifferent, even if more than one decade passes, everyone will continue to listen to them.

To love or to be loved?

Love is the best feeling a person can experience. But listening to music or reading romantic stories, you involuntarily wonder what is better: to be loved or to love. People who are faced with unsuccessful relationships firmly believe that it is better to be loved than to give yourself completely to a person who does not need it at all. However, as one wise man once asked, answering this question: “What is more important to you - your right leg or your left?”

To understand the importance of this feeling, it is worth reading the love story “August” by Hermann Hesse. It tells about a mother who wished for her child to be loved by everyone. And so it happened, but the boy, spoiled by the love of those around him, grew up cruel and selfish. He wasted his life aimlessly, enjoyed the favor of those around him, and even perceived love for a woman as short-term entertainment. One day an old neighbor asked him what wish he would like to fulfill, to which the hero replied that he would like to be able to love.

Nonsense

People tend to do a lot of stupid things. They may mistake feelings of affection or ordinary attraction for love. People can be dependent on others, hide behind rose-colored glasses and not accept the reality of the world. Having suffered for decades from their own weakness, immaturity and stupidity, many claim that love does not exist. This is a beautiful fairy tale that lives in books or films, but it has no place in the real world.

True love is a union of two independent, intelligent and mature individuals who strive to fill each other's lives with happy moments, help each other overcome obstacles and become better people. L.N. Tolstoy once wrote a very accurate quote about love: “ Love, in which there is only life, appears in the human soul as a barely noticeable sprout. It is so similar to the sprouts of weeds, human lusts, that it is commonly called love. At first it seems to people that this is exactly the sprout from which the mighty tree of life should grow, and other sprouts are exactly the same. Therefore, at first people prefer to grab onto the sprouts of weeds and feed them with their actions. But the weeds grow faster and choke out the only thing that gives life. But the worst thing is that people learn about the existence of a sprout of love, try to find it, and meanwhile trample it, mistaking for love a shoot of a completely different grass. And it’s even worse when people find this single sprout, grab it with rough hands, and begin to replant and correct it. And then the shoot dies without having time to bloom. Then these people shout that all this is nonsense and sentimentality. They simply do not understand - the sprout of love is tender, it does not tolerate touching, and it gains power only when it grows. He needs nothing to hide from him the sun of reason that nurtures him».