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In Yekaterinburg, Archpriest Vladimir Zaitsev ended his career as a priest in the past month. He wrote a petition for a ban on ministry in connection with his second marriage. Similarly, the head of the notorious “House of Elderhood” foundation, former priest Alexey Novozhilov, who was under the care of Vladimir Zaitsev, lost the right to serve.

Cases of marriage breakdowns are not uncommon today in Yekaterinburg and neighboring dioceses, say Vladimir Zaitsev’s colleagues. One of them, on condition of anonymity, agreed to describe to an EAN correspondent current situation families of priests.

— To begin with, I would like to clarify the situation in general: is it necessary for a priest to get married?

— Creating a family is voluntary, but if a person wants to devote himself completely to service, he becomes a monk. This is the so-called black clergy. The one who wants to gain family happiness, goes to the white clergy.

— Is celibacy possible, when a person does not want to become a monk, but also does not want to get married? For example, in catholic church Celibacy is due to the fact that the priest must devote himself completely to service.

— In theory, this formulation is correct, but the priest is still a person. He has human needs, one of which is the desire to create a family. The family is a kind of outlet for a priest, where he can come and be himself - not a strict boss, not a preacher, but an ordinary father and husband. In Russian Orthodox Church There is celibacy, but this is agreed only through the patriarch and not earlier than by the age of 40. This is rather an exception.

- IN pre-revolutionary time priests were pointed out as exemplary family men, with a strong and large community unit. How would you characterize the situation now?

“I would like to say that we have no problems with this, but, unfortunately, this would not be true.

Priests have a serious problem with family strength, especially young ones.

It seems to me that today this situation has developed due to the lack of continuity. In the 1990s, when the church was given complete freedom of action, people came to it different people. It was necessary to fill the parishes with pastors, and they practically took people from the street who knew nothing about the church. They were immediately placed within a certain framework of service, but their old habits remained. And since there is no continuity, they to the younger generation They couldn’t convey anything, including family values. Before the revolution, class division played the role of cement when marriages took place within the class. It was a transfer of experience.

—Did you observe in the 1990s that the wife of a newly minted priest did not accept the new rules?

- Yes. There was such a moment. It happens that a girl gets married, believing that she will live a full and cheerful life. But in reality it turned out that the husband was not at home for days and was of little use, tension and discord began between the spouses.

“But more than 20 years have passed, the requirements for candidates for priesthood have been tightened, and there are seminaries and courses on churching. The environment has been created, so why is the situation not improving?

— Because both candidates for priesthood and future mothers come from completely non-church families, often from single-parent families, where either the mother or the father was involved in raising them. They did not have a normal family model before their eyes. Young priests have problems with families because they are essentially a product of their time. This is the first point. The second is domestic instability. The priest is simply given a direction to the parish, and sometimes the family faces questions: where will we live, what will we live on, and how far is it?

— Are future wives of priests aware of these problems?

- Not always. From non-church families, mothers are in an idealistic mood, that with “darling, heaven in a hut.” And when this hut turns into reality, and it also turns out that women of the same age have settled down much more comfortably and occupy a high position... This can also serve as a reason for discord.

— Does it happen that candidates for priesthood and their brides are simply in a hurry to get married, and do not have time to consider future difficulties?

- Yes. And this factor often influences. Sometimes a seminarian has already completed his studies, and the question arises that it is time to make a decision. And the clergy and teachers are actively hinting to him. As a result, under pressure, a person takes the first woman he comes across who agrees to marry him.

— At present, how widespread are divorces in families of priests?

— There are relatively few actual marriage breakdowns. Up to about 20%. But there are those who are in the process, those who are in the stage, and those who are only formally keeping the family together.

— How often does it happen that a priest leaves his wife for another woman?

— This kind of cases are extremely rare, and each of them is nonsense for the church. Most often, the cause of discord is domestic troubles and intra-family contradictions. A priest is still a believer and a God-fearing man, so that for the sake of another woman he would sacrifice his rank. It is impossible to say that this is all the time.

— Should the clergy interfere in the family affairs of pastors if it comes to divorce?

— The priest, like his family, is a model for the parish.

He is in full view of people, so it is quite difficult to hide discord in the family from them. Therefore, everything is communicated in advance where it is needed and not needed. If it doesn’t come through, then the priest should turn to the bishop or dean (the head of church districts - EAN’s note) for support. The Church itself is interested in preserving the marriages of pastors, since even discord strikes at its core. After all, if the priests cannot save the family, then the parishioners will no longer be interested in marriage.

— What maneuvers does the leadership of the shepherds take to save the family? In this case, can the priest be transferred to lighter conditions of service?

— It depends on the diocese, namely, what resources it has. They can also transfer you to another parish, where it is easier. The problem is that there is simply no one to replace the priest. Often the dean can show human involvement in the shepherd's problem. After all man walking peddling from the feeling that no one needs him.

- Parish too Active participation accepts a priest to save his family?

- If people value the shepherd, then yes. They can mobilize, including in material terms. People understand that if a priest is happy with his family, then the parish will be calm.

— What sanctions apply to a priest if he does get divorced?

- The canons do not provide for any restrictions in such cases, but provided that he has not entered into a new marriage. He can remain in his current position or become a monk.

If he remarries, he will, of course, be banned from ministry.

Although most often second-wed priests themselves ask for this, realizing that they cannot play with their conscience.

— How common are the cases that a pastor is ready to give up his priesthood for the sake of a second marriage?

- This is also rather an exception. San is not a fur coat: if you want it, you take it off, if you want it, you put it on. You will still answer to God. Of course, there are canonical concepts that a person is defrocked. But no one knows whether God will depose him.

Photo: pixabay.com, eparhia-saratov.ru, sdsmp.ru, ekaterinburg-eparhia.ru

— To begin with, I would like to clarify the situation in general: is it necessary for a priest to get married?

— Creating a family is voluntary, but if a person wants to devote himself completely to service, he becomes a monk. This is the so-called black clergy. Anyone who wants to find family happiness goes to the white clergy.

— Is celibacy possible, when a person does not want to become a monk, but also does not want to get married? For example, in the Catholic Church, celibacy is due to the fact that the priest must devote himself completely to ministry.

— In theory, this formulation is correct, but the priest is still a person. He has human needs, one of which is the desire to create a family. The family is a kind of outlet for a priest, where he can come and be himself - not a strict boss, not a preacher, but an ordinary father and husband. In the Russian Orthodox Church there is celibacy, but this is agreed only through the patriarch and not earlier than by the age of 40. This is rather an exception.

— In pre-revolutionary times, priests were pointed out as exemplary family men, with a strong and large community unit. How would you characterize the situation now?

“I would like to say that we have no problems with this, but, unfortunately, this would not be true.

Priests have a serious problem with family strength, especially young ones.

It seems to me that today this situation has developed due to the lack of continuity. In the 1990s, when the church was given complete freedom of action, different people came to it. It was necessary to fill the parishes with pastors, and they practically took people from the street who knew nothing about the church. They were immediately placed within a certain framework of service, but their old habits remained. And since there is no continuity, they were unable to pass on anything to the younger generation, including family values. Before the revolution, class division played the role of cement when marriages took place within the class. It was a transfer of experience.

—Did you observe in the 1990s that the wife of a newly minted priest did not accept the new rules?

— Are future wives of priests aware of these problems?

— Does it happen that candidates for priesthood and their brides are simply in a hurry to get married, and do not have time to consider future difficulties?

— At present, how widespread are divorces in families of priests?

— How often does it happen that a priest leaves his wife for another woman?

— Cases of this kind are extremely rare, and each of them is nonsense for the church. Most often, the cause of discord is domestic troubles and intra-family contradictions. A priest is still a believer and a God-fearing man, so that for the sake of another woman he would sacrifice his rank. It is impossible to say that this is all the time.

— Should the clergy interfere in the family affairs of pastors if it comes to divorce?

— The priest, like his family, is a model for the parish.

— What maneuvers does the leadership of the shepherds take to save the family? In this case, can the priest be transferred to lighter conditions of service?

— It depends on the diocese, namely, what resources it has. They can also transfer you to another parish, where it is easier. The problem is that there is simply no one to replace the priest. Often the dean can show human involvement in the shepherd's problem. After all, a person goes crazy from the feeling that no one needs him.

— Does the parish also take an active part in preserving the priest’s family?

- If people value the shepherd, then yes. They can mobilize, including in material terms. People understand that if a priest is happy with his family, then the parish will be calm.

— What sanctions apply to a priest if he does get divorced?

- The canons do not provide for any restrictions in such cases, but provided that he has not entered into a new marriage. He can remain in his current position or become a monk.

If he remarries, he will, of course, be banned from ministry.

Although most often second-wed priests themselves ask for this, realizing that they cannot play with their conscience.

— How common are the cases that a pastor is ready to give up his priesthood for the sake of a second marriage?

Photo: pixabay.com, eparhia-saratov.ru, sdsmp.ru, ekaterinburg-eparhia.ru

The personal life of clergy has always been a secret behind seven seals for the laity. And they always wanted to know: how many times can priests get married and by what criteria do they choose a wife?

The Komsomolskaya Pravda in Ukraine correspondent talked with Archpriest Vadim Shapran, dean of the Chudnovsky district of the Zhytomyr region.

THE CHOICE MUST BE MADE BEFORE 30 YEARS OLD

— Is it true that an Orthodox clergyman can only marry once in his life?

— If for Catholics celibacy (that is, celibacy) is a mandatory phenomenon, then for Orthodox Christians this is rather a rare exception to the rule. After all, priests ordinary people who are constantly among the parishioners, communicate, including with young women. To protect them from temptation, the church blessed the marriage. This was enshrined at the First Ecumenical Council of Nicaea back in 325. The clergyman must decide for himself: either choose monastic path, or get married. But he must do this before the age of 30 - by this age, according to existing church canons, are ordained. That is, there is enough time. First you need to create a family, that is, a small church, and then start creating your own parish...

— What mandatory qualities should a contender for your hand and heart have?

— First of all, the girl must be Orthodox and definitely a virgin. And for a priest entering into marriage, this woman should be the first and only one in his life. It is clear that a woman with a child, a divorcee or a widow cannot become the wife of a priest. As for the profession, there are no clear restrictions. The applicant should not be a stripper, sell vodka and cigarettes... Simply put, the bride should not compromise her future husband in any way.

The ancient church rules stipulated that the priest's bride should not be an actress, but in those distant times the profession of an actress was equated with prostitution. Now the acting profession is very respected, so there is no such ban.

— What is the specialty of the mother of your priest friends?

— Among them there is a doctor, a nurse, a teacher, a cook... My wife is a lawyer. Some mothers work in their specialty, but are mainly involved in raising children and running the household, since priests' families, as a rule, have large families.

IT IS PROHIBITED TO MARRY AGAIN

- And if mother, say, did not live up to expectations and behaves unworthily, what should the priest do? Can a failed marriage be dissolved and remarried?

— A priest must be able to cope with his wife. And if his mother cheats on him, then he definitely should not live with her as with his wife. Although it is not necessary to kick an unworthy person out of the house. For a priest, there is no concept of divorce, much less a second marriage. Under no circumstances can a priest remarry. Even if his wife dies. During times Ancient Rus' the widowed priest was obliged to go to a monastery. Now the question is not posed so harshly, but the priest remains alone for the rest of his life.

- And if such a lonely priest suddenly truly loves a woman, what should he do?

- In this case, you will have to choose: either serving God, or new family. If he chooses a second marriage, he is deprived of his priesthood. Recently, one monk left monasticism, got married and retrained as a banking worker...

- There is an opinion that best wife for a priest - a girl from a clergyman’s family...

- IN pre-revolutionary Russia There were a kind of suppliers of brides for priests - diocesan women's schools (diocesan schools), where the daughters of clergymen studied. More often than not, they actually became mothers. But now such traditions do not exist. I am deeply convinced that only a love marriage will be strong.

- Where can you find a suitable candidate? Among your flock during the service?

- For example, I met my future bride at a wedding of mutual friends. Situations in life are very different.

CAR, INTERNET, PANTS - PLEASE

- What clothes should mother wear? Must wear long dress and a scarf?

— A scarf is, of course, not bad. But mother does not have to be a “gray mouse”. The main thing is not clothes, but inner world a person, his spirituality, attitude towards life and others. I would like to note that a modern mother is a woman who can occupy an active life position, drive a car, work in a secular institution, use the Internet, and so on.

— But does an ordinary lay girl experience any difficulties when she marries a priest?

“It is gaining publicity, which not everyone tolerates calmly. For example, when mother comes to church service When her husband arrives, she is unlikely to be able to calmly pray and leave. The eyes of the parishioners immediately turn to her. People begin to lively discuss: what she is wearing, what hairstyle, shoes, what her children look like. They come up and start asking about something, telling something, asking for something. Therefore, if the priest’s family lives in a large city, and the parish is located somewhere in the region, the mothers prefer to attend church in the city, where few people know them. It’s calmer and more comfortable. The same applies to joint recreation. For example, my wife and I can only relax peacefully at sea or in a sparsely populated place.

Another important nuance: at any moment the priest can be sent to another parish, to another city or village. Moreover, in a new place, you may have to start practically from scratch, since housing is by no means guaranteed. Therefore, many priests prefer to live in regional center and travel from there to their parishes. Objective difficulties are also caused by the clergyman’s irregular working hours, the lack of joint weekends... And the families of most priests do not live well. Is it very major cities. If in city cathedrals and churches priests receive a salary, then in rural parishes their main income is the funds of the parishioners, which people give to the priest as gratitude for baptism, wedding, funeral service and the like.

— How do you spend your leisure time? Is visiting nightclubs and discos excluded?

“Not a single normal Christian goes to such places, let alone clergy.” The priest and his wife can go to theater performances, watch in the cinema good film. There are restaurants where the piano is played in the evenings. If you have the means, it would be interesting to spend an evening there and listen good music. In other words, our life is not very different from the life of an ordinary Christian, but we bear great responsibility for every word spoken, every step and deed taken.