All funny jokes about Alyosha. but on the other hand

Alyosha tried to cook borscht,
Solyanka, cabbage soup, dumplings, rice.
But no matter what Alyosha cooks,
Methamphetamine comes out.

Three heroes stand on a hill, and in front of them is a horde, a hundred thousand, no less...
Alyosha Popovich says:
- If I fire a bow, half a horde will fall at once...
Dobrynya then says:
- And if I hit you with a mace, the other half will fall...
Ilya Muromets:
- Well, guys, let's have a drink? Now it's time to get out of here...

Mom, Dad, look, this is mine new friend Alyosha.
- Holy shit, it's a dead elk!
- Alyosha, let’s go, we’re not welcome here...

- Guys, can I sit here?
- Get out of here!

- Get out of here!

- Get out of here!

- Fuck you, get out of here... Maybe I live here!

So, Ilya Muromets, Dobrynya Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich are sitting in the cave, fermenting. Then Serpent Gorynych flies up and says:
- Guys, can I sit here?
- Go to hell!
The snake flew away. It's starting to rain outside here. The snake again:
- Well, guys, can I sit here?
- Go to hell!
Again the Serpent flew away. And there is already lightning and hail outside. Serpent:
- Well, guys, there is rain, lightning, etc. - Can I sit here in the corner?
- Go to hell!
- Come on, are you sorry? Sit!
The snake crawled into a corner, sat, whispered:
- Fuck you, fuck you... Maybe I live here...

So, Ilya Muromets, Dobrynya Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich are sitting in the cave, fermenting. Then Serpent Gorynych flies up and says:
- Guys, can I sit here?
- Fuck you!
The snake flew away. It's starting to rain outside here. The snake again:
- Well, guys, can I sit here?
- Fuck you!
Again the Serpent flew away. And there is already lightning and hail outside. Serpent:
- Well, guys, there is rain, lightning, etc. Can I sit here in the corner?
- Fuck you!
- Come on, are you sorry? Sit!
The snake crawled into a corner, sat, whispered:

So, Ilya Muromets, Dobrynya Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich are sitting in the cave, fermenting. Then Serpent Gorynych flies up and says:
- Guys, can I sit here?
- Get out of here!
The snake flew away. It's starting to rain outside here. The snake again:
- Well, guys, can I sit here?
- Get out of here!
Again the Serpent flew away. And there is already lightning and hail outside. Serpent:
- Well, guys, there is rain, lightning, etc. Can I sit here in the corner?
- Get out of here!
- Come on, are you sorry? Sit!
The snake crawled into a corner, sat, whispered:
- Get out of here, get out of here... Maybe I live here!

A guy recently got a job at our production facility, Alyosha, 28 years old. Work as a helper. And almost every day he brings sweets for tea, and everyone is happy.
Today we sit and drink tea before starting working day, Alyosha comes and brings candy again, help yourself, he says. Everyone took some candy and we sat and drank tea.
We decided to ask where he gets them every day, maybe his mother works in the candy business or something.
The answer just killed everyone.
- I live next to the cemetery, and collect it there.

Three heroes are riding across the steppe. Suddenly there is a horde ahead. And behind is the horde. And on both sides there is a horde. They surrounded them in a ring, Batu Khan comes forward:
- Well, heroes, you are famous, respected people. We can’t just offend you like that. So let's do this: if your dicks together are one meter long, then we will let you go. And if not, excuse me, you will be sucking off the whole horde.
Well, there's nothing to do. Ilya Muromets takes out his. We measured it - 50 centimeters. The horde is amazed and palodates.
Here Dobrynya Nikitich extracts. We measured it - 40 centimeters. And Dobrynya received applause.
It’s Alyosha Popovich’s turn to get it. We measured it and it was exactly 10 centimeters.
Again Khan Batu comes out and says:
- Well, you haven’t lost your heroic honor, so go in peace.
The three heroes drove off twenty miles and finally decided to speak.
Ilya Muromets: And if I had gotten hard, I would have been the only one to smear everyone.
Dobrynya Nikitich: And if I had gotten hard, I, too, would have gotten rid of everyone on my own.
Alyosha Popovich: fuck you, if I hadn’t gotten hard, they’d be sucking off the whole horde right now.

Radio announcement:
- Attention! In our mall the boy Alyosha was found. 26 years. Parents are asked to come to the bar and pay for two Guinnesses.

Alyosha asked his dad for a younger brother, so in bed his father now had an ironclad argument: “I’m not asking for myself, for my son.”

Having exhausted the topic of assigning male stage names to young female singers,
producers of the inflexible Maxim and Alyosha are thinking about bringing it to the stage
starlets for teenage audiences under extended names and
patronymics "Ivan Alekseevich", "Pavel Viktorovich", "Petrovich" and
"Savelich".
According to the producers' promises, all young talents will have more than just legs
from the ears, but also busts no less than No. 3.

Somehow the heroes gathered at the spit - Alyosha Popopvich, Dobrynya Nikitich. Let them wait and wait for their friend Ilyusha Muromets. If he’s not there, he’s late. So they arrived at the field where they had to fight the Tatars, but Ilya was still not there. They are persuading the infidels to wait. They wait for an hour, two, three, but still no sign of Ilya. Well, we decided to figure it out ourselves. We got beat up. everyone was removed. They rest in the blood themselves. Then Ilyusha Muromets appears on his heroic horse - even more bloody, his mace is broken, his helmet is broken. His friends ask him:
- What happened, why didn’t you come to help?
- F*ck I will, guys - I mixed up the field

Classic jokes about heroes and the Serpent Gorynych- some of the funniest jokes in the text genre. How do we see heroes in fairy tales and epics? How are they shown in funny jokes about fairy tale heroes? Kind, formidable, opponents of injustice. And the Serpent symbolizes depravity, anger and all other negative qualities.

IN funny jokes about the heroes and the Serpent Gorynych, we see the opposite picture. Everyone is tired of stereotypes, so new jokes about the three heroes will be funnier and more original fairy tales.

Funny jokes about heroes

The most famous heroes– this is Dobrynya Nikitich, Ilya Muromets and Alyosha Popovich. Actually, funny jokes about heroes and tell about the adventures of these characters.

Sometimes in funny jokes about the three heroes, the character of Zmey Gorynych is introduced, who most often opposes our heroes. Although it is not uncommon funny jokes about heroes, in which no one fights, and the characters reflect on life over a bottle of alcohol, giving out yet another funny quotes from fairy tales.

Funny jokes about the Serpent Gorynych

A big, green, angry monster. This is how I used to imagine the Serpent Gorynych, reading regular epics. Before the appearance of the first cartoons about this character. After that I also started browsing funny jokes about the Serpent Gorynych– and saw a completely different character. Not what I imagined before.

In the laughing jokes about Gorynych, we no longer see the embitterment and rage that is in the books. On the contrary, driven jokes about the Serpent Gorynych show us a funny, cowardly character who does not really want to fight the heroes. And if you really want to laugh at the three-headed monster, take a look at the section funny caricatures of the Serpent Gorynych.

The funniest jokes about Ilya Muromets

Possibly shown in the most funny jokes about Gorynych, does the snake look cowardly and pathetic in order to elevate the heroes themselves? So that original jokes about Russian heroes will be charged not only good mood, but also made you feel proud? You read the funniest jokes about Ilya Muromets for example. Ilyusha is always a healthy, strong and mighty warrior, capable of defeating the Snake and twisting the Nightingale. By the way, in all the funny jokes about Ilya Muromets, the character is always shown the same way.

Fresh jokes about Alyosha Popovich

If Ilyusha and Dobrynya are always shown as powerful and strong warriors, then Alyosha Popovich always gets the role of a weakling and a burden for the rest. For some reason, if you read fresh jokes about Alyosha Popovich, then just such an image is formed. Although, in all books and even in cartoons, Alyosha is shown completely differently. Why is there such a distortion of the image in funny jokes about Russian heroes? Well, every author sees it differently of this hero. And if he wants to see him small in fresh jokes about Alyosha Popovich - that means he will be like that.

Everyone around is asking: “Where is Lekha?” - and at the same time they either make a mysterious expression on their face or start giggling. In a couple of weeks, this phrase might have become boring, but no one stubbornly wants to answer the question of what kind of Lech this is and why they are looking for him. Like most popular jokes, this one came from a popular but old video ( at the end of the article), which has already collected several hundred thousand views. Too little for a viral video, but there is already a good start.

What kind of joke is “Where is Lekha”?

For almost four minutes, something unimaginable happens on the screen:

Initially, the back of the main character appears in the frame, quickly moving away towards the garages.
Correspondents are running after Lehi’s friend with a camera and microphone.
From a simple dialogue it becomes known that the person called ambulance and rescuers to help his stuck comrade.
Literally a minute later we find ourselves on the spot and see Alexei stuck in trouble.
The only problem is that in front of us is an ordinary garage wall, and the interlocutor continues to tell reporters about his friend who is stuck and cannot get out.
The man claims that he came out of the entrance and came across Lekha, stuck to the wall. At first, the two friends decided to cope on their own, using scissors.
As soon as it became clear that nothing would come of this, Alexey asked his friend to call an ambulance and the Ministry of Emergency Situations for him.
At the end of the report, the main character is taken towards the same ambulance, inviting him to “get tested.”

What's the joke about Lekha on VK?

The joke spread not only thanks to video reviews, but also through groups on VK, especially boosting this meme MDK group. And if initially only the video itself was distributed, then a couple of days later the first one appeared “ folk art", about this theme.

Whether it’s good or not, now there are many sites where you can upload a picture or select a suitable one from the list provided and put any text over it.

If earlier for this it was necessary to have the basics of knowledge in Photoshop or paint, today you can create a new “” in a couple of keystrokes. There are already so many variations on the theme of the search for Lehi that such jokes have begun to get boring. Even two opposing camps have formed:

Where did the video about Lech come from?

In fact, the video is very old, for the first time on youtube it was uploaded back in 2010. If this video were a child, very soon he could go to school. But this kind of content will not “gather dust on the shelf,” especially when there is constant demand for it:

Due to some regular review or repost from a large community, the video again got to the top for a short period of time.
We discussed, joked and forgot until better times.
A couple of years later, when no one remembers about it, the video will resurface somewhere and cause another wave of such jokes.
And so in a circle, each time, as in the endless Wheel of Samsara.

The video is actually is not the most successful report from one of the local TV channels.

Surely film crew I went to the place in the hope of catching a shocking sight and taking a couple of good shots. But fortunately or unfortunately, the call turned out to be false and at the scene of the incident, journalists, medical staff and rescuers found one single schizophrenic or drug addict enthusiastically talking about his friend.

but on the other hand

In fact, there are not so many reasons for jokes:

The man in the video is absolutely confident that he is right and is ready to do anything to prove it.
He tells reporters that he took scissors and tried to cut something. The patient is not afraid of his condition and calmly picks up sharp objects. What will he try to cut off next?
Two teams arrived on call, and real victims on the other side of the city might need their help.
The person is not in a hospital, and may have never even come to the attention of psychiatrists before.
Such “unaccounted for” ones may well have weapons in storage that they will not be afraid to use.

Today everyone watches a hilarious video and laughs, but tomorrow they may encounter the antics of another schizophrenic in real life. And what’s even sadder is that an insane person cannot bear any responsibility for what he has done, due to his insanity.

Whatever he does, the maximum is to isolate him from society for a year in a psychiatric hospital and that’s it. Or maybe he’ll even get away with a few months of “captivity.”

Medical workers behave extremely correctly. They do not try to prove a person’s insanity on the spot, but simply offer to go to the car to “get tested.” In the future, it turns out that because of the analysis indicators, it is better for the patient to go with the doctors to the nearest clinic.

Well, on the spot it turns out that this is not an ordinary hospital, but there the orderlies and fixative clothing along with medications will do their job.

Who is Lekha and where did he go?

Funny thing about Lech:

Appeared on the Internet 5-6 years ago.
This is a short story from a local TV channel.
I managed to get pretty boring in just a couple of weeks of my popularity.
It consists of a schizophrenic asking everyone to help his friend who is stuck in the garage wall.
Surely it will “shoot” several more times over the next few years.

And now it’s time to reveal a few “terrible” secrets:

There really is no friend.
All the events described by the main character are a figment of his imagination.
A person may be under the influence of some stimulants.
Or he’s just a sick man that everyone is laughing at now.

In principle, this is not an attempt to shame someone, because you can laugh at anything, thus fighting the problem. It’s just that sometimes it’s worth moderating your ardor, especially when there’s not as much funny as it seems at first glance.

Now, as soon as they ask you: “Where is Lekha?” - you can start looking sideways at the nearest wall and say that he’s right here. Then you can begin to describe the hands, feet and fingers of this very Lehi. Or it’s better to look blankly at your interlocutor and wait to see how long he’ll be able to handle such a monologue.

Video: search for Lehi

But here is the original of this very video, because of which everyone is asking the question “Where is Lekha?”: