Dropped a teddy bear on the floor funny. They tore off the bear's paw so that he wouldn't paw the girls, because the bear is very sexually anxious! Funny Jokes Stories Quotes Aphorisms Poems Funny Pictures Games
In Russia, the first examinations were medical studies and document studies. The first documented medical study was carried out in 1535. A serious work The study of documents began to be carried out in the 16th century.
The origin and development of psychiatric examination occurred in the period of the 16th-17th centuries. It is important to note that at that time, research was not yet legally enshrined. However, over time this situation has changed.
Ocean of Love - March 1st Day of Forensic Expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia (poems - congratulations)
May not a single piece of evidence escape you!
May you and your subordinates have a scent like a dog’s and eyes like an eagle’s!
May sleep disappear and fear appear among those who have crossed the line of the law, knowing who is following in their wake!
Serious workers, good guys,
They will always help you get to the truth,
We congratulate you on the solemn date,
We wish you smiles, great health, goodness!
The criminalist's hour is dear to us -
After all, the trail does not last forever under the sun.
Our eternal enemy does not sleep,
He follows a criminal path.
But on alert at any time,
Creating miracles in the service -
Don't promise the prosecutor
We will not be deceived by a cunning sharper,
The thief's tricks are for nothing,
We will find both miter and makitra,
Let us identify both the tooth and the crowbar.
But, having studied the nodes and pores,
Weighing the evidence on the scales -
Don't promise the prosecutor
Reveal the crime in 2 hours.
Let's read the bloody trail like a book,
We are familiar with criminal handwriting.
Congratulations on the day of forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs
Criminologists' hands are clean After all, all criminologists wear gloves. They help people find the truth. And you can't hide from them, you don't have to try. Criminologist's Day is a holiday for those who can Distinguish between two lines on similar prints.
You are crime fighters, the Blood of the law flows in your veins, and we know that you deserve awards!
On this day we congratulate you and want to wish you that you are strong and that the world is happy with you!
According to weighty statistics, they don’t like Forensic Science Day. Most bandits are cunning, and that’s very good. I wish you on this holiday In a saturated fate, you don’t know the Forensics of poets, That they give people grace.
On Forensic Science Day, I wish you peace and quiet, And I congratulate you on this date, May you be full of health. I also wish you good mood, so that troubles disappear into fate, good luck and luck open up for you.
On the day of the forensic expert, we sincerely congratulate you!
You conduct examinations Very accurately, your eye is a diamond.
March 1st Day of forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia
Congratulations on the day of criminologist of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia
This day is an important professional holiday, so do not forget to send congratulations to all your relatives or friends on the day of the forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia. Show that you appreciate their work and love them. But let's return to the history of the holiday.
During times Soviet power The Forensic Examination Office of the RSFSR began to function. This office was the first expert unit in the Internal Affairs bodies of the Russian Federation. This happened exactly on March 1, 1919.
Accept it, forensic expert,
Congratulations on this holiday,
Always keep your mind clear
Work gives inspiration!
Good luck, happiness and goodness
I wish you with all my heart,
And in your honor I shout - hurray!
Congratulations to you today!
Your job is not easy
She's so serious
After all, you are a forensic expert!
All knowledge has merged with you,
I wish you victories in life,
Be famous throughout the world
Do your job
So
Day of the forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs - Holidays, description of holidays, history of holidays
In the 20s - 30s of the 20th century, a decree was issued that the forensic examination office should be transformed into the scientific and technical department of Tsentrorozysk. In 1927, courses for forensic experts began to function under the NKVD ESD.
The most frequently performed examinations include the following: ballistic, handwriting, fingerprint, traceological, odorological and auto technical.
One of the most important people Forensic experts are on the way to solving a crime. Specialists in this industry have their own professional holiday with a rich history.
Story
On March 1, 1919, the Forensic Examination Cabinet was established in the RSFSR, after Civil War related to Tsentrozysk. It was also the first expert department among the Internal Affairs bodies.
At the beginning of the profession, criminologists conducted a small number of examinations. In most cases, the basis of activity was documents and various substances. Over time, the responsibilities of forensic scientists gradually expanded to include work with various technical devices.
This contributed to the introduction of scientific and technical units and then the opening of special forensic courses under the NKVD in 1927. The work of forensic experts became so important that these units were formed into the scientific and technical police service. And since 2003, all forensic centers belong to the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs.
Now in the field of forensic research there are many important pieces of evidence: fingerprints, various traces of shoes or blood, objects that can serve as material evidence. A forensic expert collects all these important elements at the crime scene together with an examination of the victims or the corpse, then examining it in the laboratory.
Forensic scientists use various examinations:
- ballistic weapons inspection;
- traceological to study any traces at the crime scene;
- fingerprint - study of fingerprints;
- graphological, which involves analyzing a person’s handwriting;
- phonoscopic - study of voice and speech to determine personality;
- examination of explosives;
- technical examinations of documents and devices, auto technical, and many others.
This is interesting:
- Many of these research methods have been long haul formation. Historians know that the ancient Romans resorted to handwriting analysis to resolve disputes.
- In Russia, Peter I in 1716 ordered the introduction of a medical examination as a mandatory element in all cases of physical violence, and in 1803 the first Medical Council was organized under the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
Traditions
Despite the fact that Forensic Expert Day is not an official holiday, it is celebrated by all employees who belong to this precise and important profession. In many specialized educational institutions pass on this day open lessons, during which invited experts talk about their profession. There are also meetings and conferences where criminologists introduce those interested to the process of conducting certain examinations.
A series of topical adult poems:
Mishka Saakashvili
rushing at the neighbors,
We drank with Zhora Bush,
Teddy bear eats tie
Suddenly neighbor Dima
Right in Mishka's groin!
The bear got angry:
- Zhora, what the hell?
*****
They lowered Mishka low
Mishka's pussy was torn off
The doctors didn't sew the pussy,
it was Mishka Saakashvili!
*****
Our Mishanya is crying loudly,
Butt as soft as a ball
Listen, Mishanechka, don’t cry,
The executioner will come here now.
*****
George Bush is coming and swinging
And the sweat broke out in delirium:
- Oh, my time is running out,
and Misha got into trouble.
I sit and cry bitterly:
They tore Mishka's dacha away.
San Isaich, damn it, in kind,
I snitched on the prosecutor's office,
That our Mishka is indiscriminate
I wrote to the old man under the fence.
Stop neighing:
Mishka has incontinence
That is, this is enuresis.
I am filing a protest with the Supreme Court.
To the story from March 4 about the poem. I have a godson, Sashka. His mom in
divorced, so he often gives it to me to free up personal
time. We have an “adult” relationship, so stay with me
loves very much. Already studied the structure of the computer, surfs the Internet himself, but eats
no problem. When he was three years old, his mother, putting him to bed, told him about
bunny Well, you know there:
The owner abandoned the bunny,
A bunny was left in the rain
I couldn't get off the bench,
I was completely wet.
Sanya began to demand a continuation. When mom said she didn't know
he proudly declared that his godmother knew and quoted:
In the morning that mistress came out
See what happened to the bunny.
Like my mother's rancid soup
The bunny's corpse smells bad.
Of course I got it. But the one that caused particular delight among those present was
the case when a mother got a gentleman named Misha and the child joyfully
issued, after several days of communication with the applicant for paternity:
They tore off Mishka's paw,
So that he doesn't paw girls.
Because Mishka is very
Sexually preoccupied.
I swear! I didn’t teach him this!
Teddy bear dropped on the floor
Mishka's paw was torn off
What a sloppy one
Detention center!
Was at Vova the naughty one
Clubfoot Bear
Vova was given a bicycle,
Well, Mishka is 9 years old.
From the history of oil
Draw your conclusion, brothers.
If you're friends with the wrong gang,
You’ll sit down just like Mishka.
Post Scriptum:
It's dark and quietly dripping
Refrigerators in Moscow
Chubaisik is in trouble
His country doesn't like him!
CORRESPONDENCE WITH AGNIYA BARTO
Letter two (instructive)
Well, Barto, you're crazy!
Well, Barto, give it to me!
Or again for old times,
Got it. Violent louse!
Or the bull is not enough for us,
What did you push from the board?
Have you picked up the bear now?
Well, Barto, you bent:
Dropped the teddy bear on the floor
They tore off the bear's paw
I still won't leave him,
Because he's good.
Why are you writing to children?
After all, they can’t understand!
Why, since he is good,
Suddenly tear off the paws?
And then get sentimental
The bear, they say, “I won’t give up,”
Like - I love clubfooted people,
The bear is supposed to be “good”.
I could justify you
And maybe I could understand
If at least a bear,
He began to spread his paws.
Well, I can guess -
The bear has libido.
So write it like it was.
About everything! So that “from” and “to”!
Dropped the teddy bear on the floor
They tore off the bear's paw
I still won't leave him,
Because he's good.
It was even better before
But one day I went into the forest,
I collected the cones in a box,
And he counted.
One cone bounced off
I hit the bear in the forehead,
The bear stamped his foot here,
He became somehow not himself.
He often pestered dolls,
He didn’t let them sleep at night.
In general, our bear has become very
Sexually preoccupied
And so that he gets impudent,
Didn't let it go at night,
I tell him, even though he is good,
One arm was torn off.
From "Crime Chronicle"
"They dropped Mishka on the floor,
They tore off Mishka's paw.
Was he drunk or high..."
(Extract from the protocol)
The owner abandoned the bunny
A bunny was left in the rain
An outfit approached him -
Arrested for vagrancy!
