Life is terrible, nothing new is happening. How to change your life, or Why we don’t start the process of change

Questioner: You said that love can be expressed in any action and even inaction. Please explain how something can be expressed in inaction?

Stanislav: You live and don’t notice that there is space and it is filled with darkness, silence, inaction. You are used to seeing only the manifestation of action, light, sound, etc. But music is made up of both notes and rests, images are made up of light and dark, and everything that happens is made up of action and inaction.

Q: Why does it happen that we don’t notice space?

S: Because your mind is worried, it is constantly striving to do something, to fill all the existing pauses. And this restlessness of the mind does not give you the opportunity to realize space and time as such, just as someone who constantly chatters does not manage to hear silence.

Q: How can you realize it?

S: Calm your thoughts and notice that there are pauses between words and thoughts.

Q: Yes, indeed.

S: And when you paid attention to them, you notice that the pauses themselves stretch out and become longer.

Q: After your words, I began to notice this.

S: Now pay attention to what happens in the pauses between words, between thoughts.

Q: But nothing happens during pauses.

S: But what happens when Nothing happens?

Q: Something happened in my head.

S: Don’t pay attention, this is what is happening, which happens on its own. Are you now trying to understand what happens when nothing happens?

Q: What can happen if nothing happens?

S: The space that you have forgotten how to perceive. Space always occurs regardless of its content. Are you currently perceiving space?

B: Yes. What should you do to always perceive it?

S: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Q: What do you mean by “do nothing”?

S: As soon as you stop doing anything, making any efforts, any movements with your mind, the awareness of space will come to you on its own, and then you will be able to realize what happens when nothing happens.

Q: How can one learn to do nothing, since the mind is constantly in motion?

S: Learn to observe your thoughts.

Q: Will this be enough?

S: More than.

Q: What does it take to learn to observe thoughts?

S: Persistence and practice of observation.

Q: What is the practice?

S: In observation itself. Just watch your thoughts, do it constantly. Train your mind to observe yourself, and it will tell you the next steps in this practice. If you have any questions later, you can ask them on the website or come to my training.

B: Thank you.

Stanislav: Please.

Hello. I can’t do this anymore... It’s very painful... For many years (about 6) something has been happening to me... I feel an almost constant heaviness in my soul, pain. Constantly Bad mood and terrible boring life. I can't accept myself and my life. Hence the low self-esteem. I'm just suffering. There are a lot of attempts to change something behind us. But already 2 years ago I realized that I couldn’t help myself, no matter what anyone thought. It got to the point where I became lonely. Communication with my friends stopped as soon as we left for school after graduation. They seemed to have forgotten me, and I was unable to take the initiative in time. Now they're having fun without me. And it pains me to learn about this. I sat at home for a whole month. For my internal state this is a blow.
I have nothing in my life, including relationships, I can’t start them. Nobody lives like me. Everyone has friends, has fun, and in extreme cases, goes on vacation. The only advantages of my position are relatively good studies at the university and at least some communication with my university friends, that’s all.
My parents never understood my condition. They always accuse me of wanting to live this way. I can no longer talk to them and remain silent. They draw the wrong conclusions and express many things to me. Their words only make it worse, but there was never any support.
I can’t understand why nothing happens in life at all, or only bad things happen. I am terribly ashamed of my life, especially in front of those with whom I once communicated. They probably see how I live. I don’t know what to do... there’s absolutely nothing good in the future... I’ll have to live in uncomfortable conditions (and there’s no opportunity to change), lead a monotonous existence, get overwhelmed with studies and watch how interesting others live. Yes, I was thinking about a hobby, I had ideas, but it didn’t work out. Again, it’s my fault for lack of initiative. I live as if in a cocoon, and only see from the outside normal life other people. This just makes me burst with pain. I feel inferiority, hopelessness, despair, despondency, it is very difficult for me to make decisions and I consider myself worse than everyone else (character, appearance, life). I have long understood that this could be a disease, that I needed to see a psychotherapist, I was one step away from this, but my parents do not approve and even ridicule this. And the treatment is long-term, but my saved money is not enough for much, and again, I’m ashamed of what I’ve sunk to... There’s no way out. I feel so bad, but from the outside I can’t understand. Sometimes there are bright spots, it lets me go, it seems that maybe everything is fine, but this is just the calm before the storm. I’m tired of everything, of this constant comparison of other people’s lives with my own, but I can’t stop it. In order to feel at least something, I go into a fantasy world, only there can something interesting and fun happen. I'm tired of looking for motivation to live, looking for something good, forcing myself to continue existing. All mine social sphere failed: girlfriends, boyfriends, parents, acquaintances... Yes, over so many years there were many nuances, it’s impossible to describe everything. Honestly, I don’t know how else to help myself...

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Nat, age: 08/21/2016

Responses:

Hello. You just need to slowly separate from your parents and become independent, independent. Then work, household chores, personal space, plus study will appear, you will forget what boredom is in principle. And don’t rush into relationships, your other half will definitely not pass you by. Do not compare yourself with others, each person is individual, and even if it seems to you that everything is wonderful and interesting with your classmates, they probably also have enough problems and difficulties. I wish you success!

Irina, age: 28 / 08/21/2016

You definitely need to turn to a good psychologist and talk ALL THIS out, pour out your soul as if in spirit, this is the first step towards a cure for melancholy and despair. We need to share ours heartache with a person who is “harnessed” to psychology. We need to satisfy this need to receive sympathy, to share our pain with someone. You simply don’t have support from the people in your life, from your parents, who in theory should give it, I understand you VERY well. In essence, you live in constant psycho-emotional isolation, your personal cup of adrenaline is constantly overflowing, you don’t “drain” it on time, because there is no one, everything accumulates inside, leading to constant breakdowns and moral exhaustion, devastation, and emotions. burnout. It’s possible to overcome all this, but you can’t cope on your own, without help, you need a competent psychotherapist, it would be nice if he prescribes you to take antidepressants, but this is only from his prescription. And also, it’s good to have at least some physical activity... they relieve stress, and acupuncture calms you down, aromatherapy.

Kurara, age: 26/08/21/2016

Hello! First of all, you don’t need to scold yourself so much. You are not to blame for anything, you have not done anything bad to anyone. After all, when most kids finish school, they stop communicating with each other. No one is to blame here, everyone just starts new life, since many become students. New friends and girlfriends appear, already from university. So the point here is not at all about You and not the lack of initiative on Your part. On the contrary, you also study, you don’t sit at home doing nothing. This is very good. You have your own life and the fact that it is not similar to their lives is not scary at all. You are an individual and should not copy anyone. And the fact that you don’t get support from your parents is not your fault. It’s just that sometimes there is misunderstanding in the family and you don’t need to blame yourself for it. Still, the initiative should come from someone who is older, wiser, more experienced. It's a shame they don't show it. Don't be sad about it and be positive. Get out of the house more often, it’s good for your health and mood. Try to come up with some reason. Be sure to visit the university and chat with your friends there. You common topic- studying means there is always something to chat about. Although, maybe there will be some other common interests, that will be great. In addition, if possible, meet guys from other groups and streams. The more acquaintances you have, the merrier and better. Don’t rush to draw conclusions about your hobbies either. You're not even twenty years old, it's time to try something new. This needs to be done constantly. If you don't like one thing, then try something else. This, by the way, will inevitably lead to new acquaintances. If you feel that thoughts about death are appearing again, try to switch to some useful, exciting activity as quickly as possible. Remember, the best motivation for you is to wait for the moment when you feel that you are truly happy. Have no doubt, such a moment will come very soon. The main thing is don't do it now irreparable mistake. Good luck!

Mikhail, age: 28 / 08/24/2016

If you have already decided for yourself that you do not like the way you live, and you feel that you are capable of something more, then the article may be useful and, perhaps, will give answers to the question of why nothing happens in life new, and how to start the process of change.

So. If a person lives with constant thoughts that he does not like going to an unloved job, living with an unloved person, meeting out of habit with friends who actually “look in the opposite direction,” if a person is dissatisfied with his body and his inaction, then at one fine moment he is sure to have the thought that it’s time to change something.

But time is running, but change never happens. What's the catch? In laziness? Fear? Waiting for a miracle?

What if we just call it all a comfort zone? “Well, what kind of comfort zone is this if you don’t like everything?” - you ask.

The point is that every Living being on Earth strives for a state of stability in life, and stability is something that happens to each of us every day and does not change in any way. It gives us a feeling of peace, a feeling of security. And at the level of our unconscious (subconscious), we, like all other beings, also strive for this.

We strive for our days to be similar to one another - this is our comfort zone. That’s why it’s so important for us to have a stable (albeit unloved) job, that’s why it’s so scary to leave a person, even if you feel that you don’t love him anymore, that’s why you don’t want to be alone, because you’re just used to being in company, let him and people who are completely alien in spirit.

Often our body plays with us cruel joke, does not want to change his appearance in any way (for example, to lose weight), because we are used to living in just such a body (and we gain back the lost kilograms again and again). All this is a psychological zone of stability, which means a comfort zone! And all of the above are rituals that give us the opportunity to feel that we are safe.

But, for example, there was a brave guy who decided to change his life and start all over again “ clean slate" What will he face? First of all, with resistance and fear. The question “What if it doesn’t work out?” will torment him. Doubts and the desire to leave everything as it is will arise again and again.

Why? Yes, because behind any comfort zone there is a discomfort zone. Everything new causes psychological discomfort in us. Changing place of work, place of residence, meeting new people, first trip to Gym and a vegetable salad instead of a chop is always stressful. Different scales, but stressful. And stress is discomfort!

And the one who chooses the second option will begin to build his own new reality, and it will gradually turn step by step into a new comfort zone, that is, this new life will become familiar, and therefore stable.

To summarize, we can say that we do not change our lives, even if we sincerely want to, simply because we are afraid of the initial feeling of discomfort that will certainly arise in us. initial stage launching change. Well, whether to take the path of change or leave everything as it is - everyone decides for himself.

I recently met with a certain radio host. He is quite famous (in narrow circles of sports fans), he has extensive experience in sports journalism, everything seems to be fine, but he is confused: “I work a lot, I lead several projects, I am developing my sports knowledge, I regularly play sports, I am constantly doing something.” then I implement it, but... it doesn’t fire. I remain at the same level. It’s like I can’t move to another step. Outwardly everything is fine, but I seemed to be frozen.”

I asked him how long this had been going on. And he said this: “It’s been three years already. You know, it feels like mine real life- bright, large-scale, amazing - runs exactly parallel, but I can’t jump onto these parallel flights.”

And I understand him very well! I myself had this feeling in those days when I made the decision to leave the “beautiful life” of Moscow. There was a feeling of languor inside: it seems like you’ve been doing something for a long time, developing, working hard, but you still can’t break through the ceiling. It's like you're somewhere nearby all the time.

After one of the Olympiads, I saw the following headline in the newspaper: “Our country is the champion in the number of awards for fourth place.” Agree, a dubious achievement. You're always fourth and can't get on the podium.

Familiar feeling? If yes, then this text is for you. Like chamomile tea, it should calm you down.

If you feel the same way, you are simply in the Age of Accumulation. And soon everything will be fine. Here is a piece of an interview with actor Dmitry Nagiyev for Story magazine (January - February 2017).

Interviewer: It's like you're trying to catch up on something. Catch up. Apparently, there were periods that seemed empty to you?

Dmitry: They don’t seem like that to me. They appear empty to the viewer. I was always in a state of some kind of work, even fatigue. But, as it turns out, this was completely insufficient for the mass audience, and even twelve or thirteen years of “Beware, Zadov!” They're just shooting now.

And we were filming it all the time. I was recognized as the best DJ in Russia for four years, but for Moscow it was an empty phrase. It was not empty all the time, it was still an experience, and now I have all this baggage that I have accumulated, used, and use, but, as it turns out, for the viewer I was Nobody all this time.

Interviewer: And it's bittersweet.

Dmitry: I won’t hide it - it brings some sadness to the night.

In 2017, Dmitry celebrated his 50th birthday. And he was first recognized as the best DJ in Russia when he was not even 30. That is, the path from the moment when he first received a major award and recognition throughout the country to the moment he became a superstar took more than 20 years.

Do you understand? 20 years of daily work to reach the level of recognition, scale of projects and popularity that we would like. And if you take it as starting point the moment of entering the theater university, and not the moment of receiving the award, then this path took more than 30 years.

What is the Age of Accumulation?
Let's return to our problem: you have been doing something for a long time, but you don’t see any large-scale results. For example, for me this was expressed in the fact that by the time of my “last straw” - when I decided to give up everything and leave - I had been regularly published in various publications for 12 years, was a celebrity interviewer, worked in the largest radio holding company, TV projects, but ... nothing fundamental happened. I also had the same feeling: my real life goes on in parallel, but I’m like in a dream - I’m running in place and can’t reach it.

So how do you know if you are in the Age of Accumulation?

You are satisfied with the direction of your activity, but not satisfied with the result: you know that you can do more.
You have been moving along this path for three, five, seven, ten years, but there is no long-awaited breakthrough.
You cannot be called lazy: you work hard.
You have the feeling that real life is going on in parallel. And you only need a little bit to reach it.
From the outside it seems that other people doing the same thing as you are moving to the next level faster.
So, if you agree with at least three points, then congratulations: you are in the Era of Accumulation.

How to break out of the Age of Hoarding?

Understand that this is a piece of a larger puzzle.

Calm down: what is happening to you is normal. And at each new turn such a segment will await you. As I already said, while working on TV I was involved in castings and over several years I interviewed thousands of girls and women. Then it seemed to me that all this was empty chatter and nonsense.

I didn’t understand how I could be moved forward on my magnificent, amazing path by the fact that I was now sitting in some Volgograd listening to the story of a girl who was beaten by her mother as a child.

But now - years later - I understand that it was a huge puzzle. Incredibly beautiful. Then I did not see him from the outside and was too stupid to understand the higher plan of everything that was happening to me.

After a couple of years, impressions, observations and conclusions from these interviews and conversations became the basis of my picture of the world. And the desire to tell people about this led to the appearance of first the group, and then the first book, and now the second.

And now, when I have reached a new level, I can say: everything was not in vain. Every impression, every conversation, every experience helped become the foundation for a spaceship that carried me through space and brought me to a new planet.

Indian philosopher (and, by the way, one of the leaders of the Bank of India) Ramesh Balsekar said a brilliant thing: “Whatever is happening at the present moment is necessary.”

Everything that happens to you now will later fit into a giant puzzle, and you will see the whole picture. My friend - now a successful herbalist - told how this happened for her

“At first I was an ordinary pharmacist in a pharmacy. I always wanted to create medicines myself, but I didn’t know what it would be or how it would be. Over the course of 10 years, I received several types of additional medical education. But... nothing happened. And all this time I was drawn to herbs, medicinal plants. From different travel̆ I brought herbs with me and became interested in biology. And in the end, the path led me to herbal medicine, in which all the skills suddenly came together into a single picture, and I made a breakthrough. I realized that all my movements made before were not an empty sound, but part of a large canvas that could only be seen by seeing it in its entirety. And I don’t regret at all that this happened now, and not 20 years ago.”

So now, perhaps, your actions seem pointless and dead-end to you. But believe me: if you move forward, the path will lead to where you need to go. Whatever is happening at the present moment is necessary.

It doesn’t shake like before, it doesn’t seem to “sausage”. It doesn’t turn you inside out, it doesn’t cover you with fear of the future or guilt for the past.

The world has changed. The consciousness of the inhabitants of the earth began to change. They are no longer affected by “horror stories” about chipping or GMOs, and aliens no longer scare anyone. An attempt to somehow intimidate people with the explosion of Yellowstone, which should lead to a global cataclysm, also did not bring a tangible effect in “squeezing” emotions out of people. All. Tragedies as a way of motivating action are becoming a thing of the past, as is the habit of “driving yourself” with fears or guilt in order to develop.

We haven't changed. Our feelings have changed. Our consciousness has changed. The vibrations have increased . The Augean stables of the collective unconscious have been cleared, but...

But now many are in limbo.
If fear and the survival instinct no longer drive you out of your “comfort zone,” you can sit in it for as long as you like and….watch the world. The world pleases us with new colors, inspires us with radical ideas about immortality, breakthroughs in genetics, science that promises us to grow new organs to replace worn-out old ones, calming our vigilance and lulling natural activity... But...

Nothing happens…

All is well with the world - it is alive and seething with events.
There is a lull in our concrete life: there are no significant events that make the blood boil and take the Spirit away from the scale and greatness of what we were able to manifest.

Why?

Old habits. We are too tied to our karma, who, like a dear mother, gave us a smack on the butt or put us in a corner when we behaved like a hooligan, didn’t do our homework, or skipped classes. Now that we have “cleaned out” the lion’s share of karmic debris and imbued the Akashic chronicles with new Light...

Who? Who will replace our mother karma?
Who will push us to new achievements, self-development and overcoming boundaries?

Who will force you to overcome difficulties, rise above your past self, giving birth to a Master, a future creator, if the “carrot and stick” method is no longer relevant?

Probably no one. Therefore, potential Masters are now quiet, waiting for a miracle, hoping that in the new world there will be magic wands and other means that will help them grow up easily and magically, like Alice in Wonderland.

Are there such magic remedies?
Perhaps yes. But not everyone knows how to use them yet.
Why? There are many reasons. But our main assistant in this situation is “death over our left shoulder.” There is no more reliable method. But it’s also more insidious…because it sneaks up unnoticed….

Its first symptoms are lack of desires, then loss of meaning, then worse. You forget what it’s like to “BE ALIVE.”

Not everyone who has life in the body is TRULY ALIVE. These are the challenges that I face in spiritual coaching sessions NOW. It is with these Masters who need to be returned to their bodies that I have been working for the last six months.

We are learning . CREATE YOURSELF, YOUR MEANINGS AND YOUR LIFE.

And this will be life in a renewed body in a renewed world.

If these tasks are relevant to you and you want to learn to CREATE IN A NEW WAY,
come to our “Workshop of Miracles” -4 clubs “Unified Consciousness”.

In the online lesson, we will define the principles of the new creation and lay the foundations for the necessary changes. At the end, as usual, Activation is a meditation in the energies of the collective field of the Unified Consciousness, which has already proven the power of materialization.

To get a membership to the club or the right to a guest ticket, write in a personal message or on Skype toryfire