Valera, what movie am I here from? “Whoever is not friends with Panama hats will deserve sunstroke!”

“Whoever is not friends with Panama hats, sunstroke deserves it!”

This comedy Russian production From the very beginning I was not interested, as probably many were not. True, after very high for Russian project fees, my interest in this product suddenly it irreconcilably began to grow, because as I thought it should turn out to be a simple, light and pleasant comedy with good, not stupid and out-of-the-box American humor and a wonderful acting ensemble. Unfortunately, what we saw was a little disappointing. No, there is something to laugh at here, at some points I started laughing out loud, but the movie itself turned out to be too simple, naive, pretentious, predictable and in some moments stupid.

Of course, “All Inclusive, or All Inclusive” is superior in quality to the recently released film also with the participation of actors from “6 Frames,” namely “On Betrayal,” but up to really gorgeous films like “Radio Day” or “What Men Talk About” , this picture is still so far away. Maybe you shouldn’t criticize “All Inclusive” so much, but with such and such actors, it’s impossible to create something ordinary and formulaic. romantic movie It's simply not possible. How it would all end could have been clear even before watching, and the characters for the most part turned out to be somewhat gray or too standard.

Of course, there were a couple of characters that I really liked, but nothing more. I would note the German killer Rudolf, who, having arrived to fulfill his next order, falls in love and changes his worldview, and of course, the Russian tourist from Syktyvkar, who hates the Germans with all his soul and heart. These characters are really worthwhile, especially compared to the rest of the templates, which did not show anything remarkable or interesting throughout the entire film. Although I still remember the Negro-Ukrainian, but I personally didn’t particularly like him, by the end the character began to infuriate him, and this Negro clearly cannot be compared with a sloppy killer and a Russian tourist who is having a full rest.

In addition to stereotypes and pathos, one of the main disadvantages of “All inclusive” is undoubtedly story line. It is simple to the point of disgrace: a rich and very influential entrepreneur one day finds his girlfriend with the veterinarian Andrei, who leads a riotous lifestyle and has a reputation as a notorious womanizer. After a mad escape from the house of that same rich man, the hero decides for his own safety to go to Turkey and, as it were, lay low there, only the victim decides to get the male dog at any cost and make him sterile. To do this, he hires an experienced German killer with Russian roots named Rudolf, who is a specialist in such tasks.

Fearing such a development of events, Andrei changes his first and last name to Veniamin Pyatnitsa, which in itself is suspicious and funny. On the plane flying to Turkey, the hero meets different people, starting from a customs officer from Syktyvkar with his family, and ending with a couple of newlyweds forever kissing and making love. It’s just at the resort that Andrei meets the love of his life, namely the counselor Anya, who also liked the hero

The script is very simple, formulaic and uninteresting. This is exactly what it is main problem this comedy, because closer to the middle you begin to gradually lose interest and any desire to watch to the end disappears, because you understand how it will all end, that there will be snot with sugar, mixed with our pathos and excessive sentimentality of the main characters. The lousy plot is more or less saved acting work and that's not all. For example, playing main role Mikhail Bespalov I didn’t like it at all, for me it didn’t show any acting or its likeness. It seemed that Mikhail was simply in front of the camera and did not actually do anything, so I obviously cannot praise him. Well, who is really worth mentioning is a simply magnificent, as always, actor Fedora Dobronravova, who brought to life the image of a standard Russian tourist who came from the outback to Turkey and is jealous of his wife towards everyone, from the waiters in the bar to Hippocrates himself, to whom his doctor wife “gave” an oath. In general, Fedor played brilliantly, so we can safely praise him.

I would also praise the funny one Edurad Radzyukevich, who is better at performing the duties of an actor rather than a director, and this film is another confirmation of this. But Edurad played amazingly and his character Rudolf, or simply Rudik, was liked and remembered most of all. From the rest of the acting ensemble, one can also recall an indistinct and very cliche performance Marina Alexandrova, wild and even a little strange Nonna Grishaeva, who portrayed a dog for half of the film, as well as a friend, again from “6 frames” Andrey Kaykov And Anna Ardova. In general, the rest were completely unnecessary, especially guest stars like Anfisa Chekhova And Masha Malinovskaya, who appeared only for a few moments, but their names were advertised as if they played the main roles there.

The soundtrack was killing me: either some kind of poor Russian rap, or Leps’ song “She’s Not Yours,” which is not bad, but not at all suitable for what is happening; in general, the musical accompaniment is essentially one big misunderstanding. The title theme was especially infuriating, namely “Aram zam-zam” performed by Disco Accident. These “guli-guli” were already infuriating, but here they actually started to infuriate me, although this is mainly due to my last name and the eternal jokes from my friends.

In general, “All Inclusive, or all inclusive” is nothing interesting. A light, overly simple and predictable comedy produced in Russia, which is another attempt by our filmmakers to create a truly interesting and funny film, only this time our wizards didn’t succeed. In principle, you can watch this film, but I will not recommend it to anyone, and this is the only rating.

The football match was watched live near the village of Bolshoye Zavidovo in the Tver region, where the “Invasion” festival is taking place. However, most of the spectators still gathered at. Veterans of the rock movement performed there.

Reportage NTV correspondent Nikolai Zakharov.

The song is like an illustration for “Invasion”. Musician Sergei Chigrakov admitted after a 40-minute concert: performing from the stage and dancing in front of the stage was such a heat, it was hard physical work.

Sergei Chigrakov, musician: “It’s just too hot, I feel sorry for the people standing there.”

It’s so hot that they listen to rock from under the stands, and those nearby are sprayed with a fire hose. Where you can simply get water, there is a queue from morning to evening. Fans cool off without leaving the tap, so there is a small swamp around.

Festival participant: “Valera!”

This name has been heard here for three days now. When music lovers first arrived at the festival, a certain Valera fell behind the company. His friends searched for him all night, went into almost every tent, and made an announcement over the loudspeaker. The name Valera has become an unspoken symbol. At every step here you can find the inscriptions “Valera - it’s me”, “Valera is alive” or “Valera is not here”.

Festival participant: “Nobody knows him, but everyone is looking for him.”

The name Valera was written several times on the wall of the mobile gallery, although in general rock in colors is an exhibition where works by music lovers hang next to paintings by famous musicians.

Exhibition organizer: “Ilya Lagutenko, this is Shklyarsky, he will be performing now, and this is the leader of the Picnic group.”

Oil painting. In a special tent on game consoles, music lovers are tormenting plastic guitars to the sound of hard rock riffs performed by the Kipelov group. Of course, you can’t play the hit “I’m Free” on them, but you can get involved in heavy rock.

The evil rock band “Accident” is definitely not haunted, the musicians are sure. This year she is at the “Invasion” for the first time. But because I didn’t get it main stage, but no one was upset about the small one, on the edge of the field.

At the height of the festival, a broadcast of the World Cup was turned on on a large monitor specially installed between the two stages. For third place were the teams of Germany and Uruguay. However, when there is “Agatha Christie” on one stage and “Accident” on the other, you can see that there are not so many spectators in front of the screen. Football at Nashestvo is less important than rock and roll.

“Mumiy Troll”, “Agatha Christie” music until late at night. But those who came to the festival did not intend to go to bed even after the last lights on the stages went out. True, no one understood whether Valera was found or not.

Where should I start with this, while it’s still fresh in my memory... With the lack of air conditioning in the premises of the Minsk-2 National Airport? Or to be more precise, they are not there at all: neither at registration, nor in the storage unit. There are some stupid guns standing there. Suffer, citizens who are dying! True, where we were sent to London it was cool, but we will consider this a mere coincidence) The landing was delayed by an hour, without warning and the terminal was changed twice. I experienced a real shock when the salesperson from the store in the drive-thru, listening to the foreigner’s monologue, could only say, “What?” with a dull expression on her face. And all this could have been the finish, but it turned out to be just the start...

Exhausted from the stuffiness, with fear of the upcoming flight, we boarded a private bus (perhaps one of those that was shipped by the wonderful Minsk Automobile Plant, but that’s not about that now, so no further details). Having approached the plane, the crowd of sufferers divided into three groups: one part rushed to pose against the backdrop of the airliner, the second broke loose and rushed to take seats, the third trudged along the ramp with a doomed look.

The fifth row is occupied, and here is the long-awaited one 6) I just want to sit down, close my eyes and wake up in Heraklion! Me and the baby are at the aisle, my sister and her daughter are at the window - ready for takeoff. And then this crazy family comes in, consisting of a stupid mother, three terrible children and this mother’s mother, i.e. grandmother of the family... Where are these born?! Such Schengen visas should be issued only after a certificate from a psychiatrist! Europe does not think about own safety, but in vain I’ll say right away that all this reminded me of the movie “All Inclusive”. My blood boiled from this mother’s shrill scream throughout the entire cabin about who should sit where and why. Just not for us! Fuck! is the only word that flashed in my head! Where have I sinned so much lately?!

Then it turns out that there are no seats for people in the last rows... Guess for yourself who was bawling the most? The flight attendants generally lost their fear and said that if the passengers didn’t sort it out and get seated right away, they would disembark everyone and start again. And to summarize, then, passengers, it’s your problem and eat as you want. Amazing! And I thought that such questions were within their competence!

Then the people realized that there had been a mistake and everyone should just move to the row ahead together. Hallelujah! Let's take off. We took off from the ground to the real scream of a crazy family. Anyone who remembers the movie will understand... Only in our case, after takeoff, the entire cabin clearly heard “Mom, can you cry already?” Gaining altitude, it became a bit stupid. The smell of Zvezdochka flew through the cabin and hung. Squeezed stronger teeth. The seat belts were unfastened. And an endless stream of people went to the toilet! Citizens, what do you drink and eat before the flight?! And the family in the front row demonstrated the real circles of hell.

One more thing about the flight attendants. Dialogue with my sister

What will you drink?

Do you have any tomato juice?

Only orange and apple, water and tea.

I'd like some tea, please. Oh, and maybe also lemon.

You should have spoken right away, otherwise you’d splash (!!!) here several times!

When asked what I would drink, I really wanted to answer “Wouldn’t you go...”

Thanks, nothing! - education, your division!

This is our service! It's just a shame!

Let's go. Things are heading towards landing. "Children! everyone to the toilet! Then we won’t go,” the mother urged. So you don’t get out of it the entire flight!!! "Mother! We're already falling!" I console myself with the thought that in 10 minutes this will all be over. The landing gear touched the ground. The landing is great! Applause accompanied by cries of the mad mother, “Don't clap! It is forbidden!!! It is necessary when the plane comes to a complete stop!” Who will finally stop you in this life! Bitch why firearms Is it forbidden to bring on board?!!!

If this monster got on our bus, I do not exclude the possibility of disrupting my nervous system. There is justice in the world, or God decided that we had enough, but this family left on another bus. I'm keeping my fingers crossed in the hope that this family won't come back on board...