They dropped the teddy bear on the floor funny. Black humor, black poems

Over time, the types of research have expanded (Photo: Shots Studio, Shutterstock)

Every year March 1st is unofficially celebrated professional holiday employees of all forensic units of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia -

Day of forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia

It was on March 1, 1919 that the Forensic Examination Office was created in the Russian criminal investigation system - the first expert unit in the Russian Internal Affairs bodies. Then it was called Tsentrorosysk.

In general, the first forensic institution in the internal affairs bodies Tsarist Russia can be considered the Medical Council under the Medical Department of the Ministry of the Interior, which was established on December 31, 1803.

In 1912, the first St. Petersburg Office of Scientific and Forensic Expertise was opened in Russia. IN next year similar scientific and forensic examination rooms began to function in

MoscowOdessa

And a little later in

But the named Cabinets did not last long; they all closed during the February Revolution And Civil War.

In the years Soviet power On March 1, 1919, the Forensic Examination Office at the Tsentrorozysk of the RSFSR began to function. The first experts (and they were specialists invited in specific criminal cases) carried out a small number of examinations, mainly on the study of various substances and documents. Over time, the types of research expanded, and the need arose to use scientific and technical means.

At the end of the 20s of the 20th century, scientific and technical units began to be created in the police (examination rooms, scientific and technical units, scientific and technical units). A major role in this was played by the courses of forensic experts created on the basis of the resolution of the Council of People's Commissars of the RSFSR dated June 28, 1927 at the NKVD ESD.

The organizational structure of expert units changed: having emerged as part of the criminal investigation department, they were transformed into the scientific and technical service of the police, and from 1964 to 1981 they were part of the operational and technical service of the internal affairs bodies.

Since 2003, forensic centers have been organized and operate under the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the Main Internal Affairs Directorate, and the Department of Internal Affairs of the constituent entities Russian Federation, UVDT, OVDRO, and all of them are subordinate to the Forensic Expert Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia - the main expert unit of the system of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation.

The main tasks of the specialists of this service are not only to conduct various forensic and technical examinations, but also to certify civilian and service weapons, participate in the preparation of draft regulatory legal acts in the established field of activity, and others.

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Every year on March 1, we celebrate an unofficial professional holiday - the Day of the Forensic Expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

The choice fell on this date, since it was on this day in 1919 that the first forensic service of the Ministry of Internal Affairs was created in our country. A Forensic Examination Office was opened at the Tsentrorozysk of the RSFSR.

In order to conduct examinations for the investigation of criminal cases, examination specialists were first invited. In those days, the number of examinations carried out was quite limited. Most often they were engaged in the study of various substances and documents. Later, new types of research began to appear, and specialists began to use an increasing number of scientific and technical means in their work.

Work of forensic experts of the Ministry of Internal Affairs

Employee work forensic forensic service can be called unique and very complex. To perform it well, an employee must have in-depth knowledge of the most different areas Sciences. Almost every day they have to solve difficult riddles that help solve crimes. In their work they use modern scientific and technical knowledge.

Quite often they have to work in difficult conditions - in any weather and at any time of the day outside. This is due to the peculiarities of their activities, because they are the first to go to the scene of an incident together with operatives.

Expertise: history

It should be noted that examination did not always exist in the form we are familiar with. She passed long haul development. It is known that even in the distant past, people learned to use special knowledge to solve various controversial issues.

According to historians, to resolve controversial issues regarding the authenticity of certain documents, the ancient Romans conducted handwriting studies.

In Russia, the first examinations were medical studies and document studies. The first documented medical study was carried out in 1535. A serious work The study of documents began to be carried out in the 16th century.

The origin and development of psychiatric examination occurred in the period of the 16th-17th centuries. It is important to note that at that time, research was not yet legally enshrined. However, over time this situation has changed.

In the 17th century, Vasily Shuisky ordered clerks and clerks to compare handwriting.

And Peter the Great in 1716 ordered that a medical examination be mandatory in cases of crimes involving physical violence.

In 1832 in Russian legislation the concept of “knowledgeable persons” appeared. Their testimony was accepted as evidence. On December 31, 1803, a Medical Council was established under the Medical Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. This organization can be considered the first such institution in the Russian internal affairs bodies.

In St. Petersburg, on December 9, 1912, the first Scientific and Forensic Examination Cabinet in Russia was opened. In 1913, similar Cabinets appeared in Moscow and Odessa, and a little later - in Kyiv. However, all these offices functioned for only a short time; the outbreak of the Civil War led to their abolition.

In the 20s - 30s of the 20th century, a decree was issued that the forensic examination office should be transformed into the scientific and technical department of Tsentrorozysk. In 1927, courses for forensic experts began to function under the NKVD ESD.

In the 30s of the 20th century, educational forensic laboratories appeared at some legal institutes. They were engaged in conducting examinations for law enforcement agencies.

In 1945, the Scientific Research Institute of Forensic Science was established in our country.

And in 1969, the Central Forensic Laboratory of the USSR Ministry of Internal Affairs began its work.

Significant changes have occurred in the organizational structure of expert units over time. Initially, they were part of the criminal investigation department, but later it was decided to transform them into a scientific and technical police service. At one time, in the 60-70s of the 20th century, they were generally considered part of the operational and technical service of the internal affairs bodies.

In 1969, the Central Forensic Laboratory (CCL) was created in our country, which was later renamed TsNIKL (Central Research Forensic Laboratory).

In 1981, independent forensic units were created.

Forensic Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs

In 1983, the Forensic Expert Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of our country was established.

This institution currently reports directly to Russian Ministry Internal Affairs. It was created for the purpose of organizing and carrying out expert and forensic activities by internal affairs bodies.

The most frequently performed examinations include the following: ballistic, handwriting, fingerprint, traceological, odorological and auto technical.

Ballistics expertise is mainly concerned with the study of the movement of projectiles fired from various types firearms.

Handwriting examination deals with the study of handwriting, establishing the authenticity of signatures, etc. Fingerprint examination helps to identify people by their fingerprints. Trace examination is based on the search, seizure and examination of any traces at the crime scene. Odorological examination involves the detection, analysis, removal and storage of odor traces for the purpose of their use in criminal proceedings. Automotive technical expertise includes research into the circumstances of the accident.

Employees Expert and Forensic Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation carry out examinations and research. In addition, its specialists are directly involved in investigative and operational search activities. The center organizes, conducts and coordinates applied scientific research.

On October 19, 2016, the forensic service in the system of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation turns 62 years old.

By order of the Prosecutor General of the USSR dated October 19, 1954, the positions of criminal prosecutors were introduced into the staff of the prosecutor's office. The need to create this service was due to the catastrophic increase in crime associated with the large-scale amnesty of 1953, when thieves in law and murderers were released. It was necessary to appoint persons responsible for training investigators in the art of investigating crimes. The Institute of Prosecutors-Criminologists was formed, first of all, from the elite of the investigation - experienced investigators with extensive experience in investigative work.

The objectives of this service were the introduction into practice of scientific and technical means and scientific recommendations for the detection and investigation of crimes investigated mainly by the prosecutor's office - murders and rapes, training and advanced training of investigators. Criminal prosecutors worked at the intersection of science and practice, actively interacting with units of forensic experts and other scientific expert institutions.

Since 2007, this service, along with the functions of the investigation, has come under the jurisdiction of a new body - the Investigative Committee of Russia. In 2011, criminologists began to be called investigators rather than prosecutors.

The forensic department today consists of 6 employees. The head of the department, 3 senior forensic investigators with more than 10 years of experience as investigators and 2 experts. An expert specialist in forensic economic examinations, his knowledge is important in the investigation of tax, corruption and other economic crimes and a polygraph examiner who conducts lie detector tests.

A forensic investigator, like a tracker at a crime scene, will examine every detail, every nook and cranny to find traces that will help reconstruct the events that occurred and expose the culprit.

Over the 9 months of 2016, ultraviolet illuminators were used 27 times, forensic light sources - 8 times, express tests (Gemofan, Seratec) - 20 times. Metal detectors and magnetic lifts were also used three times.

Thanks to the use of a forensic light source, in the past period of 2016, 7 traces of biological origin and 1 microobject were discovered. Using an ultraviolet illuminator, 25 traces of biological origin and 2 micro-objects were discovered last year.

The use of a forensic light source and an ultraviolet illuminator allowed the detection of traces of biological origin on bed linen at the scene of a criminal rape case. The results of the examination formed the basis of the evidence.

In a criminal case initiated on the basis of murder, the Gemofan express test allowed the identification of the culprit, as a result of which traces of blood were found on the knife, invisible to the naked eye.

As a result of a thorough examination of the scene of the rape of a minor, a forensic investigator, using forensic techniques, discovered the saliva of the victim and the imprint of the rapist’s shoes, which subsequently made it possible to prove that they were both in specified location. In the same criminal case, the use of a software package for processing digital information made it possible to obtain mobile phone suspect, a video recording of the crime being committed, as well as information about other minors who have been subjected to violence.

In a criminal case involving the murder of a woman, the accused put pressure on witnesses by threatening them. Forensic investigators assisted the investigator throughout the investigation. Talking to witnesses, they managed to convince them to give truthful testimony, organizing a defense.

Over time, the types of research have expanded (Photo: Shots Studio, Shutterstock)

Every year on March 1, the professional holiday of employees of all forensic units of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia is unofficially celebrated -

Day of forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia

In general, the Medical Council under the Medical Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which was established on December 31, 1803, can be considered the first forensic institution in the internal affairs bodies of Tsarist Russia.

In 1912, the first St. Petersburg Office of Scientific and Forensic Expertise was opened in Russia. The following year, similar scientific and forensic examination rooms began to function in

MoscowOdessa

And a little later in

But the named Cabinets did not last long; they all closed during the February Revolution and the Civil War.

During the years of Soviet power, on March 1, 1919, the Forensic Examination Office at the Tsentrorozysk of the RSFSR began to function. The first experts (and they were specialists invited in specific criminal cases) carried out a small number of examinations, mainly on the study of various substances and documents. Over time, the types of research expanded, and the need arose to use scientific and technical means.

Since 2003, forensic centers have been organized and operate under the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the Main Internal Affairs Directorate, the Department of Internal Affairs of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation, the Department of Internal Affairs, OVDRO, and all of them are subordinate to the Expert Forensic Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia - the main expert unit of the system of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation.

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Not an official holiday.

One of the most important people Forensic experts are on the way to solving a crime. Specialists in this industry have their own professional holiday with a rich history.

Story

On March 1, 1919, the Forensic Examination Cabinet was established in the RSFSR, which after the Civil War was part of Tsentrozysk. It was also the first expert department among the Internal Affairs bodies.

At the beginning of the profession, criminologists conducted a small number of examinations. In most cases, the basis of activity was documents and various substances. Over time, the responsibilities of forensic scientists gradually expanded to include work with various technical devices.

This contributed to the introduction of scientific and technical units and then the opening of special forensic courses under the NKVD in 1927. The work of forensic experts became so important that these units were formed into the scientific and technical police service. And since 2003, all forensic centers belong to the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs.

Now in the field of forensic research there are many important pieces of evidence: fingerprints, various traces of shoes or blood, objects that can serve as material evidence. All these important elements a forensic expert collects at the crime scene together with examining the victims or the corpse, then examining it in the laboratory.

Forensic scientists use various examinations:

ballistic weapons inspection;
traceological to study any traces at the crime scene;
fingerprint - study of fingerprints;
graphological, which involves analyzing a person’s handwriting;
phonoscopic - study of voice and speech to determine personality;
examination of explosives;
technical examinations of documents and devices, auto technical, and many others.

This is interesting:

Many of these research methods have come a long way in their development. Historians know that the ancient Romans resorted to handwriting analysis to resolve disputes.
In Russia, Peter I in 1716 ordered the introduction of a medical examination as a mandatory element in all cases of physical violence, and in 1803 the first Medical Council was organized under the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

Traditions

Despite the fact that the Day of Forensic Experts is not official holiday, it is noted by all employees who belong to this exact and important profession. In many specialized educational institutions pass on this day open lessons, during which invited experts talk about their profession. There are also meetings and conferences where criminologists introduce those interested to the process of conducting certain examinations.

Such a difficult job
Hard daily work
At various crime scenes
They always wait for a criminologist,
Traces, evidence, prints -
A criminologist will collect everything,
Will reveal secrets and riddles,
After all, he is the best specialist,
All criminologists today
Congratulations on their wonderful day,
We wish them attention
Good luck and happiness to them in everything!

Forensics Day!
I congratulate you,
Take a print from happiness
I wish it from the bottom of my heart.

Expertise in a fervent heart

I wish to spend
Find love in abundance
Find harmony.

Highlight particles of passion

In life you should quickly
Handwriting study good luck,
To make it more fun.

It's not easy to be a criminologist
But you can do it right away!
I wish you growth in your career,
After all, you have a trained eye:

You can easily take off your fingerprints,

You will find hidden clues,
You will reveal secrets and riddles,
You will understand the compelling reasons!

I wish you good luck on this holiday,

And nerves as strong as steel!
Solve all difficult problems
Paying attention to every detail!

Fingerprinting fans
Deduction, ballistics,
Today we congratulate you
Happy Forensic Science Day!
Analysis and logic
You solve cases
And malicious violators
It’s not in vain that you suspect.
On this day, congratulate our destiny
Experts in brave criminal cases.

It is known from statistics
What a criminology day
Celebrated by the whole country
From morning until dark.

Drink up, criminologists!

Two or three hundred grams.
And accept congratulations,
Wishes, commands,

To difficult life yours

Everything could not have been more beautiful.
To keep the work going
And they were not tormented by worries.

Take your fingerprints
And you will find all the evidence,
Seasoned criminals
You cause fear and trembling,
You are an excellent criminologist
You know the deal with a bang,
On your holiday we wish you,
Lots of happiness and goodness!

Criminologist, congratulations!
After all, this celebration concerns you.
Let luck rule in business,
And in the heart there is joy, rays of goodness.

Let everything be peaceful in the family,

Let love bloom in your soul.
Well, the boss is at attention
The salary increases again and again.

Positive today
All characteristics.
Congratulations on the holiday
Forensics for you.

Positive examinations

We wish you
Before knowledge and power
We all take off our hats.

Good luck to you guys all,

Peace and success,
Eliminate as a result
Quickly all the interference.

Happy Forensic Science Day, I sincerely congratulate you,
I wish with all my heart to live without crime and evil.
Criminalists will always tell us how and what,
Any crime will be revealed easily.

This work is complex and full of difficulties,

And she will help everyone find justice.
Gently congratulate all the specialists today,
Tenderly wish them patience and wisdom!

All criminologists and experts
We want to congratulate you on the holiday,
Let us solve any crime
According to the evidence, they succeed,
Let them find the prints
They notice different traces,
Their work is so important to all of us,
We appreciate their work and work,
We wish them joy, success,
Let them always be attentive,
May their life be filled with only happiness,
Let no trouble come to their house!

Home -> Holiday calendar -> Holidays in March -> Day of the forensic expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs

Today is March 1st, a holiday: Day of the Forensic Expert of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

The first forensic institution in the internal affairs bodies of Tsarist Russia can be considered the Medical Council under the Medical Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which was established on December 31, 1803.
On December 9, 1912, the first St. Petersburg Office of Scientific and Forensic Expertise was opened in Russia. The following year, similar Offices of Scientific and Forensic Expertise began to function in Moscow and Odessa, and a little later in Kyiv. But the named Cabinets did not last long; they all closed during the February Revolution and the Civil War.
During the years of Soviet power, on March 1, 1919, the Forensic Examination Cabinet began to function at the Tsentrorozysk of the RSFSR, which was the first expert unit in the Russian Internal Affairs bodies. The first experts (and they were specialists invited in specific criminal cases) carried out a small number of examinations, mainly on the study of various substances and documents. Over time, the types of research expanded, and the need arose to use scientific and technical means.
At the end of the 20s of the 20th century, scientific and technical units began to be created in the police (examination rooms, scientific and technical units, scientific and technical units). A major role in this was played by the courses of forensic experts created on the basis of the resolution of the Council of People's Commissars of the RSFSR dated June 28, 1927 at the NKVD ESD. The organizational structure of expert units changed: having emerged as part of the criminal investigation department, they were transformed into the scientific and technical service of the police, and from 1964 to 1981 they were part of the operational and technical service of the internal affairs bodies.

Holiday calendar in March.

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Dropped the teddy bear on the floor
They tore off the bear's paw
Two kidneys were trampled,
Hit on the head

Yak-tsup-tsopped a little,
They sawed off my leg with a hacksaw,
Karidola was torn apart,
The creative mind was blown,

They strangled me a little with a boa constrictor,
The wool was covered with napalm,
The bear was writhing in the fire,
“Aftar zhot” everyone shouted,

Uncle Vova passed by
Traffic poured into the bear's mouth,
The first leader also came up,
Hit the bear meanly in the groin,

"Gygygy" and "Bugaga"
One fod, two bastard,
They mocked everyone in Runet,
Everyone made fun of the bear,

Gopota did not lag behind,
She threw caps at him,
Norris appeared, Chuck
And from the foot to the face - a boar!

And Boyarsky is right there,
In a hat, just like Robin Hood,
On horseback, with a long sword,
Mishka felt, oh, sad,

The creepy Cthulhu has awakened
And I got angry at the bear,
And the family of these cultists
Teddy bear, kyu, I wanted to go to Etsikh,

Even good Gorodetsky
Hit me in the neck like a child,
In general, anyone hit the bear,
Like everyone else or different

In the end everyone went wild
They flew together in a bunch,
Skinned alive
Putting out cigarette butts in your eyes

Both ears were torn off
My nose and jaw were broken...
A bear was abused -
I'm sick of my knowledge!

"Japanese mouse"

Dropped the mouse on the floor
They tore off a mouse's paw...

No, that's not cool at all.

Dropped the bear on the floor -
They just dropped my scrotum!
Kicked in the back, tail bitten off
Bitch, your ear was bitten off!

You will know how it is in the store
It costs crazy money!
They harped at his back,
And they told Micah to go fuck himself.

Teddy bear dropped on the floor
Mishka's paw was torn off
What a sloppy one
Detention center!

Was at Vova the naughty one
Clubfoot Bear
Vova was given a bicycle,
Well, Mishka is 9 years old.

From the history of oil
Draw your conclusion, brothers.
If you're friends with the wrong gang,
You’ll sit down just like Mishka.

Post Scriptum:
It's dark and quietly dripping
Refrigerators in Moscow
Chubaisik is in trouble
His country doesn't like him!

CORRESPONDENCE WITH AGNIYA BARTO
Letter two (instructive)

Well, Barto, you're crazy!
Well, Barto, give it to me!
Or again for old times,
Got it. Violent louse!

Or the bull is not enough for us,
What did you push from the board?
Have you picked up the bear now?
Well, Barto, you bent:

Dropped the teddy bear on the floor
They tore off the bear's paw
I still won't leave him,
Because he's good.

Why are you writing to children?
After all, they can’t understand!
Why, since he is good,
Suddenly tear off the paws?

And then get sentimental
The bear, they say, “I won’t give up,”
Like - I love clubfooted people,
The bear is supposed to be “good”.

I could justify you
And maybe I could understand
If at least a bear,
He began to spread his paws.

Well, I can guess -
The bear has libido.
So write it like it was.
About everything! So that “from” and “to”!

Dropped the teddy bear on the floor
They tore off the bear's paw
I still won't leave him,
Because he's good.

It was even better before
But one day I went into the forest,
I collected the cones in a box,
And he counted.

One cone bounced off
I hit the bear in the forehead,
The bear stamped his foot here,
He became somehow not himself.

He often pestered dolls,
He didn’t let them sleep at night.
In general, our bear has become very
Sexually preoccupied

And so that he gets impudent,
Didn't let it go at night,
I tell him, even though he is good,
One arm was torn off.