The soldiers in the bathhouse are embarrassed. Women's bathhouse in a men's environment

In the 14th century, the Moroccan traveler Muhammad ibn Battuta described how for the wealthy residents of Cairo, especially women, staying in public baths was a favorite pastime. Rich Arab matrons sometimes went there for the whole day, taking food and maids with them. Archaeological excavations found that in the first centuries after the Arab conquest, the ceilings and walls of public baths were often painted with pictures with erotic allusions (for example, depicting dancers), despite Islam's prohibition on depicting living creatures. Obviously, it was not observed strictly enough in the baths. Through the Arabs, the Turks adopted the custom of building baths and taking steam in them. By modifying them, they created their famous Turkish baths.

IN Western Europe, despite the barbarian conquest, the Roman baths were not forgotten forever. With the gradual revival of city life and crafts, the public baths. Medieval manuscripts are full of illustrations indicating the widespread and popularity of baths. Baths often housed barber shops.

The stereotype that Europeans rarely washed themselves in the Middle Ages is completely false. The decline of baths and neglect of hygiene began in Europe only in the 16th century. This was due to two circumstances. The first is the widespread growth of religious fanaticism caused by the struggle between Catholicism and the newly emerging Protestantism. Representatives of both faiths tried to be the most pious, and therefore strongly condemned any nudity of the body. The second reason may have been more effective - saving wood fuel due to widespread deforestation for the needs of shipbuilding and metallurgy.

The influence of Roman civilization was not the only one that contributed to the emergence of baths in medieval Europe. It is obvious that the custom of washing hot water Since ancient times, it was used in specially heated rooms among the Germans and Slavs. The oldest evidence of the existence of baths among the Anglo-Saxons dates back to the 8th century. If public baths in antiquity and the Middle Ages were visited by people of means, then in villages where the vast majority of the population lived, people built the small family wooden baths familiar to us.

The spread of the word “istochka”, which meant bathhouse among the Slavs before the borrowing of the ancient Roman term, perhaps indicates the common Slavic-Germanic origins of this folk custom. The outstanding Czech Slavist Lubor Niederle believed that “istoka” comes from the ancient Germanic stube. But it is possible that the borrowing here is the opposite, from the word “heat”. Be that as it may, but a wooden bathhouse, where steam was produced by splashing water on hot stones - ancient custom Slavs and Germans even before the formation of their states.

This was also a long-standing Finnish custom. At the same time, it cannot be said that the bathhouse of the ancient Novgorodians was borrowed from the Finns, and not vice versa. Finnish sauna- an invention of the twentieth century, and traditional Finnish sauna was no different from the Russian one.

The Slavs had another name for the bathhouse - “movnitsa”. For the first time, the custom of the ancient Rus and Slavs to wash in baths was mentioned in the treaty Prince of Kyiv Oleg with Byzantium (911), where the right of Russian merchants to build their own bathhouses for ablutions was stipulated. “Istobka” is the name given to the bathhouse in the chronicle story about Princess Olga’s revenge on the Drevlyans, when she invited the Drevlyan ambassadors to the bathhouse, locked them there and burned them.

This is where we come to the solution to the question of what shocked the Kyiv chronicler in Novgorod bath customs. The legend of Olga’s revenge confirms that hot baths were also known in the Kyiv land. Yes, and Oleg’s treaty with the Greeks was signed on behalf of Rus' by representatives of the southern tribes - Polyans, northerners, etc., but the Novgorod Slovenes were not mentioned among them (but the Rostovites were mentioned, that is, representatives Finnish tribe Merya), they first appear in diplomatic acts only with a similar treaty of Prince Igor (944). This means that the people of Kiev X-XII centuries, just like the inhabitants of Northern Rus', also washed in hot baths. How can we explain the chronicler’s irony when he writes about the Novgorod baths?

V. Lukutov

How soldiers washed in the bathhouse

Company commander Ponkin, a plump, bald captain, loved to tell all sorts of stories from the lives of his subordinates and, admittedly, very entertainingly.

Newly arrived young soldiers were taken to Lenin's corner. The captain introduced the unit’s combat history for about five minutes, then smoothly moved on to the most pressing topic - sex life warriors Two stories in particular made me laugh.

The first is about a goat that was caught by eight soldiers, raped into insensibility and thrown to its owner. Poor guy whole year went to the bosses, having lost all hope, kicked the unfortunate woman out onto the street. The second story is about other animals, it should be retold in more detail, it is worth it.

One day a colonel and a major arrived to check and after all they deigned to look at the piglets. And I led them, filled with pride.

Near the barn we heard a suspicious noise, knocking and an unimaginable squeal. We hurried and opened the door. And what do you think we saw? Our impeccable Sidorenko is completely drunk, half naked, without pants, with such a dick he runs after a screaming sow with the obvious intention of copulation. While we were thinking, the soldier deftly drove her into a nook and leaned on her. He was stopped by the loud command of the colonel: “Stop raping!” Sidorenko instantly sobered up and stood at attention...

Sidorenko served five days in prison for drunkenness, but I had a hard time, especially in the unit’s canteen. I was there on business and came in for lunch. So the officers in my presence categorically refused to eat borscht and demanded proof from the cook that the pieces of lard floating in the borscht were not from the pig that was fucked by their subordinates. And the inspectors of my unit asked ironically: “Well, captain, are you going to show sex today?”

So, the captain's wife chose the bathing day. Before lunch, they polished the floors, changed the beds and received washed underwear from the ensign. After lunch we walked to the city bathhouse, one-story, brick, very old with two branches. The captain, his wife and daughter were delivered in a GAZ car.

A wonderful trick in the bathhouse was that after the steam room you could go out into the vestibule and breathe fresh air and cool down. In the same vestibule there was a door leading to the common room of the women's department. It was always closed, but interestingly, it was made of wood, so making a hole in it was a piece of cake.

After ten minutes of washing from the gangs, the soldiers hurried, bypassing the steam room, to the treasured door and lined up near the opening. Each person looking at women's charms was given five minutes, but there were temperamental ones who had to be forcibly torn away from the spectacle.

On this ill-fated day, Vitya Vorobyov, heavy and clumsy, “stuck” to the door. He did not react to exhortations and threats, five strong soldiers had to fall on him, and a heap formed. And since the door was old, it creaked a little, fell off the frame and fell into the women's section. By inertia, a group of soldiers followed into the midst of women's bodies.

Confusion, an indescribable cry, everything that was in the gangs poured out on the heads of the soldiers, and the poor things tried to evade the blows of the washcloths.

The women's reaction of fear passed within a minute; some, at the sight of the soldiers' bayonets, their eyes sparkled and, instead of beating the men, on the contrary, they changed their anger to mercy. And one unscrupulous woman of about forty, but maintaining her figure, grabbed Vorobyov by the manhood, pulled him towards her, lay down on the bench, spread her legs, opened all the beauty before him. There were also other hungry people who followed the example of that unscrupulous woman. The soldiers mostly did not resist and the bathhouse instantly turned into a kind of den, where butts and breasts flashed, moans and smacking were heard.

A small problem occurred with Sasha Novikov. The tall, handsome sergeant was liked by all the women of the garrison, but Ponkin’s wife and her daughter, about twenty years old, as curvy as her mother, had the exclusive right to him.

At the beginning, Vika timidly approached Sasha, hugged him, and when he kissed him, the girl jumped on his hips, immediately groaned and energetically moved her wonderful butt.

How was Vika to know that she was not the only lover of the sergeant and his powerful penis also served her mother’s nest. This fury, what can we call a woman after what happens next, approached the lovers, grabbed her dear one by the hair and pulled her off the sergeant. It's good that he managed to do his job. Ponkin's wife, in anger, began to whip the confused Novikov on the cheeks, and the daughter, realizing why her mother was angry, began to treat him with a washcloth.

By that time, having cooled down a little, the women came to their senses and again began to execute the soldiers. But they did not resist and quickly left the battlefield.

The captain, who for some reason was informed about the disgrace later than he should have, hurried to catch his subordinates in the act of debauchery, but he never recognized who was whom and in what position. Everyone was peacefully washing or steaming, and the door was inserted into the frame. True, Ponkin received a thrashing from the head of the bathhouse. After the bath, already in the barracks, he called the soldiers to his office, but found out nothing. At the evening inspection, he deprived the entire company of dismissal for a whole month. Then he invited the ensign to his place, pressed him against the wall and asked menacingly:

Come on, son of a bitch, admit where you put the lapel powder, in the soldiers’ bowl or all in my plate?

The next day, Ponkin brought welding equipment into the bathhouse and replaced the door with an iron one. The captain was transferred to another garrison for this incident. It can be assumed that in another unit he added a new one to the old stories - about the bathhouse.

These are the simple formulas, derived through experience over the years: the more a man is a womanizer, the more... bisexual he is. And if he is inexperienced, and even more so, bisexual, the more difficult it is to make contact with a man. Don't believe me? But let's look together. From time to time I go to one “magical” bathhouse where the military wash themselves. You'll see enough of that there, mmm... So, let's turn on the memories.

The first plot. One cadet asks to rub the back of another cadet and says: “Just don’t do it too hard.” The rubbing one reassures: “Don’t be afraid, I am tenderness itself.” "Women's" squeals in the shower, jokes. In general, “the girls have matured.”

The second plot. Local students study at the school. I go up to the steam room. This is the picture. There are three pupils on one bench, on the contrary there is a cadet studying the pupils. I look at the cadet. What kind of disgrace is this?! His unit rested directly on the bench. I sit down next to him and glance at the students. Bah! One of them has a huge thing like this, and it also rested against the bench. What is happening. One glance is enough! Or maybe it was just the Day of the Holy Military Erection?

The third plot. I pass by two cadets talking. One to another: “Do you know that Marilyn Manson removed two ribs to make it easier for himself to suck?” What are the cadets interested in? I'm moving on. Another conversation. One cadet said to another: “Well, you’ve finally started to look like a woman”... And these are absolute macho guys, not some mannered “chorus.” No, absolutely all people are bisexual, except those who have no fantasy.

I'm going to take a shower. There are two splashing around there, judging by how pumped up and hairy they are, senior students. Two machos. Two peeks. But something stretched between them, not noticeable to a prying eye, but visible to an experienced one... I noticed them in the steam room. Both have rather massive sardels. And they all make jokes, huff and guffaw all the time, they’re having so much fun, well, just like that... And then there’s a shower. The one with a little less basks under the streams. The second one settled down next to him. He squeezed his sausage with his fingers. And: collecting “golden rain” into it, it will release the “faucet”, then turn it off again. And so on several times. Like - I came on my friend. And they have incredible fun. Happy people! They don't notice anyone around! Where have the “natural” complexes gone?

Steam room. Leaning against the wall, a macho man of Caucasian blood sits on a bench. With a swollen appendage. That day my mood was slightly depressed by all sorts of everyday troubles. I am doomed - looking down. A minute later the door opens and a cadet with a good figure climbs the steps. I'm studying the floor again. A minute later I look around at those gathered. The macho's one withered, turning into an invisible and unnecessary top, but the curvy one's, who sat down just opposite me, suddenly blossomed to quite a respectable size. Who reacted to what?.. Macho quickly left. I started talking to the figure guy. Easily makes contact. So, they chatted about all sorts of nonsense: where he was from, how his studies were, where he was being distributed. Once again I was convinced: than stronger man, the easier it is to make contact. But is everyone really ready for this “fairytale” bathhouse?..

Soldiers also wash there. There are fewer of them than cadets. And thank God. Most of them are very unsightly, they smell very bad, they are very complex. They mostly look only at their feet. Faster, faster, I wish I had time to wash myself and go back to the barracks. They show almost no interest in each other, only notorious latent gays. But in this environment, you understand, there are very, very few of them. I went into the steam room when it was unclear what the soldier was doing alone there (his little thing was already like a string). I tried to communicate by asking a couple of completely harmless questions. What do you think? He ran away after half a minute. Preserves honor from a young age?..

Now let’s compare the behavior of cadets and soldiers in the bathhouse. The cadets' reaction to all sorts of tenderness is absolutely calm, moreover, there are continuous jokes on the topic, moreover, many are in a state of semi-erection. And the conversations are in order?.. Why?

Yes, the cadets simply came to the school voluntarily. Look at each other, then at the soldiers. For men, in general. That’s why they have appropriate jokes in the bathhouse, when they tease each other, rubbing the backs of their comrades, looking at their belongings, having difficulty holding their erections. Well, men live in crowds with each other, in barracks. This is easier with cadets.

But with the soldiers... The army for soldiers is a kind of prison, where you need to not only keep your ears open, but also cover your “asshole” from the machinations of your comrades. Hazing, sir. People do not join the army voluntarily. The army is a sacred duty. Therefore, being in the army is a punishment. That's why they are afraid of members in the army. If some cadets dream of a penis, and others are curious about dicks, then in the army, even if you want a dick, you are still forced to pretend that no one has this tool.

If you dream that you are in a bathhouse, then the dream foretells you good deals and success.

If you accidentally entered a bathhouse in a dream, then you will encounter many difficulties that you did not expect. You will be able to safely cope with all the difficulties and troubles if in a dream you leave the bathhouse “dry”.

If the bathhouse is too hot, then expect trouble through your relatives.

A cold bath in a dream is a bad omen.

Being dressed in a bathhouse is a harbinger of worries and disappointments. See interpretation: clothes, wash, soap.

If in a dream you see a bathhouse and watch what is happening there, then grief, powerlessness, hopelessness, deception and disappointment await you.

Seeing a woman in a bathhouse is a harbinger of grief and worry; seeing a man is a harbinger of imminent financial difficulties.

Undressing in the bathhouse but not washing is a harbinger that someone will be angry with you for a short time.

The blood you see in the bathhouse is a bad omen and warns you of mortal danger.

Seeing people dancing and having fun in a bathhouse in a dream is a harbinger of an imminent and serious illness. The dream warns you that you should take care of your health. See interpretation: water, dance.

Take a steam bath - bad society, which you will soon get tired of. Sometimes a dream predicts that you will be undeservedly offended.

However, if you felt very comfortable there, then pleasure and good news and profit await you. For a patient, such a dream predicts recovery from an illness.

A dream in which you wash in a bathhouse predicts that you will soon have problems at home or at work caused by rumors and slander that your enemies spread about you.

The dream foretells that shame and disgrace await you if you continue to behave imprudently and tell too much about yourself to everyone you meet. Sometimes such a dream portends you illness or a stop in business.

Washing with hot water is good for sick people. For healthy people, such a dream predicts obstacles in business. See interpretation: bath, swim.

If in a dream you see others washing themselves in a bathhouse, then soon you will find out interesting news about people you are interested in.

For a poor person to be in a bathhouse and see someone helping him is a sign of emergency and long illness.

Singing songs and having fun in the bathhouse is a dream foreshadowing obstacles, losses, and sometimes imprisonment. See interpretation: music.

Emptying yourself in a bathhouse means shame and dishonor. In addition, you should be wary of the machinations of envious people and beware of taking part in dark and risky matters. See interpretation: shit, urine.

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