What is love: stages, love and passion, facts. What is love: stages, love and passion, facts Lucky number seven

Love is a set of emotions, actions and beliefs united by a strong feeling of affection, security, warmth and respect for another person.

Additionally, the concept of love can be applied to animals, abstract phenomena, or religious beliefs. For example, a person might say that he loves his cat, freedom, or God.

The best thing you can hold on to in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn

Love has always been a popular topic of discussion, raised by philosophers, poets, writers and scientists for countless generations, and many of them have come up with different formulas for love, having their own views on its definition, conditions of occurrence and forms of manifestation.

While most researchers agree that love involves a strong feeling of affection, there is much disagreement about its exact meaning, resulting in different attitudes among different people.

Characteristics of love:
  1. Higher priority for the well-being and happiness of the love object compared to one's own needs.
  2. Strong feeling of affection.
  3. Feelings of attraction and respect.
  4. Desire to provide help and care.
  5. A combination of the above characteristics.

There have been many debates about whether love is a free choice, or whether it is capable of enslaving despite the presence of will, whether it is permanent or fleeting, whether love between family members and spouses is biologically programmed or imposed by society.

The concept of love can vary depending on the individual as well as the culture in question. The result of every dispute about love is closer to the truth in relation to some time or place.

For example, in some cases love can be a choice, while in others it can be an uncontrollable feeling.

Love, passion (infatuation), romantic love

Especially in the early stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to discern the difference between love and passion (infatuation).

Combined with an overwhelming desire to be close to another person, both feelings are driven by physical attraction and the intoxicating effects of hormones, but only one of them is characterized by longevity - love.

Love is something that begins between two people and develops over a long period of time, experiencing many life ups and downs along the way. Therefore, love requires time, fidelity, mutual trust and acceptance of a person as he is.

Passion associated with sexual experiences that initially attract people to each other and are fueled by the desire to reproduce.

Passion, by blurring your consciousness with the influence of hormones and the idealization of the personality of its object, dulls the ability to see a person in his true light, and therefore it is not always able to become a direct path to a long-term relationship.

The ideal scenario for a strong relationship involves a balanced combination of love and passion.

Love, i.e. passionate infatuation with another person, combined with a feeling of attachment, form romantic love, which is an important early stage of a long-term relationship.

Rekindling the original spark of passion is a practice that happy couples should definitely follow.

Love and passion. Differences

To determine for yourself the difference between love and passion, answer yourself 5 questions.

1. Does your relationship make you a better person?

Only love can make you feel like you are capable of anything, and for an extended period of time.

Passion carries within itself an opposite, destructive force. It stops you through restrictions on your freedom and implicit prohibitions on self-realization.

Passion worsens the quality of life of both partners, but love gives freedom, motivates, and makes lovers better.

2. Where is your “I”?

Is your Ego at the core of your relationship, or is your loved one at its center?

Do you prefer to give or receive?

Do you keep track of how much you did for your partner and how much he did for you?

If you're willing to do whatever it takes for your girlfriend or boyfriend without considering your own gain, from sending love messages to sacrificing your beliefs and principles, then it's probably love.

When you're in love, the other person's happiness is more important to you than your own well-being.

Passion is self-centered, but love is completely selfless.

3. What attracts you to your partner?

Passion for another person works mainly on a physical level, causing you to admire the appearance, body, voice, walk or object of attraction.

Love, first of all, is aimed at the partner’s personality, his inner world, way of thinking, life values ​​and other internal qualities.

Physical attractiveness is, of course, also important, but to a much lesser extent.

Thus, passion is based on external attraction, love - on internal personal values.

4. Are you being yourself in a relationship?

If each of you can answer “Yes,” you are definitely meant for each other.

If you are able to be yourself, telling your loved one about the most personal things, doing what you like, and not trying to control your behavior, you can be sure that this is love.

Honesty, complete trust, understanding, intimacy, mutual sympathy and romantic feelings create a stable platform for a long-term union.

When you don't have to wear masks to cover your true colors; when you are not afraid of being misunderstood, rejected, ridiculed, judged for who you are; when you always try to understand your partner's actions without judging - all these are the building blocks of true love, not passion.

Passion dictates the rules, but love frees you from inner servitude, it does not judge, it comes to you for who you are.

5. Are you ready to develop together?

Love cannot stumble or break. She is able to withstand all types of life obstacles that arise on a joint path, finding a way out of any current circumstances.

If you feel that you can be with this person forever, regardless of whether you receive the same amount of care and warmth as you give, that is love.

Passion is temporary and fleeting, so sooner or later a relationship based on it will end.

Passion flares up and goes out, ceasing to exist. Love is stable, deep and constant.

Love is timeless.

Love and mental health

While there is no single truth when it comes to defining love, most people agree that love plays a vital role in both physical and mental well-being.

Benefits of love:
  1. The lack of love and care that children may experience almost always has a negative impact on their future lives to varying degrees.
  2. The feeling of lack of love has a strong relationship with low love, and can cause a condition.
  3. People who live loving lives tend to be happier.
  4. Love and a sense of emotional unity can have a direct impact on health, helping to improve immunity.

Love and physiology

From an evolutionary perspective, love can be seen as a survival tool—a mechanism we evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual protection, and parental support.

When you realize that someone is attractive to you, love, among other things, begins to manifest itself in the form of a biological process.

Your body is reinforcing what your mind already knows - this person is making you feel amazing.

When we feel close to another person, our brain signals our body to release hormones such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine and norepinephrine.

These chemicals cause us to become overwhelmed with loving thoughts and experience the physical sensations we associate with love.

More about “love hormones”:

1. Serotonin. This hormone improves your mood. Those who take certain illegal drugs cause a huge increase in serotonin levels. Instead, they could simply find someone who would love them - and there would be more benefits and health.

2. Oxytocin. Is the biological basis for love. This hormone is produced during lovemaking, filling you with a feeling of affection for your lover.

3. Vasopressin. Along with oxytocin, it is responsible for the feeling of closeness to someone.

4. Dopamine. Bears responsibility for desire and reward, i.e. you feel great pleasure when you are rewarded with love, whether it is expressed through kindness, touch, a date night, or a feeling of happiness.

5. Norepinephrine. It is produced when you fall in love and feel the excitement of wanting everything to work out and develop well. Such physical sensations are manifested by a rapid heartbeat or clammy palms.

Stages of love (relationships)

1. Falling in love

Falling in love is the most exciting stage of love, and many will agree with this.

When a man and a woman find each other attractive, a spark of attraction flashes between them, causing them to drown in the ocean of romance and passion.

At this stage, you simply cannot stop thinking about the girl or guy, they are constantly on your mind. It is now that the meaning of the old saying “love is blind” is most clearly manifested.

This “charm” stage brings a lot of romantic emotions, laughter, flirting and playfulness, and all the negative traits of the partners are ignored. Much emphasis is placed on the similarities you both share.

People at this stage seem to “fly” when they are together, and cannot wait to be close to each other if they are separated. Butterflies fly in the stomach, and trembling hearts seem to freeze.

At such moments, most people are sure that they have found their soulmate, but the underlying reason for all these uncontrollable emotions is physiology.

“Love hormones” make you feel euphoric, induce a cheerful mood filled with happiness, and increase your overall energy level. It seems that you are a different person, your sexuality is at its peak, you feel like you can handle anything, you are simply fearless.

In this state, you are able to get married before moving on to the next stage of love, ignoring the underlying flaws in your partner.

Sure, the romantic feeling in question seems wonderful while it lasts, but it can't last forever, even if you really want it to.

By combining with feelings of intimacy and affection, infatuation transforms into romantic love.

2. Saturation (addiction)

After several months of living together, when the “chemistry of love” ceases its active phase of influence, couples return to their usual selves with their usual mood and level of attraction.

Things return to normal and instead of focusing on each other, the couple becomes more active professionally and in other daily activities.

Young people who are unaware of this stage of love may think that the feelings have passed. Sometimes they may get upset due to lack of attention from their lover.

Minor disagreements and even quarrels are a normal part of this stage. It's worth recognizing that healthy confrontation is natural because it helps both of you understand the situation better.

As you learn to resolve problems and conflicts that arise, your relationship will become more mature.

At this stage of love, you may wonder why your sex life has become a little stale, or why you sometimes find your partner irritated.

You begin to evaluate your other half more objectively, and the conclusions that come to mind can cause delight or apathy.

What you need to do is move on. The best is yet to come, even if you feel like the relationship has faded.

3. Disgust (quarrels)

You may have a lot of expectations from your loved one. You can even try to bring your partner closer to your ideal image.

This stage of love resembles a power struggle, and sometimes relationships end if one party dominates the other too much.

Instead of focusing on the similarities, as you so cleverly did when you were in love, you now focus on your partner's differences and shortcomings.

Some couples are at this stage. Others, experiencing pain and dissatisfaction in relationships, come to the conclusion that true love is associated with compromises, and instead of withering away in the conflicts that arise, one can find a way out with the help of understanding, warmth and kindness.

4. Humility (understanding)

Reaching this stage of love means that you now understand your partner much better.

At this stage, couples are in a joyful state, but do not stop making efforts to work on their relationship.

Now both partners accept each other for who they really are, but they should not rest on their laurels. Avoid misunderstandings and continue to get to know each other better.

The stages of love can often bring turmoil into relationships, but if you are aware of their existence, moving from one stage to another will not be such a difficult task for you.

To move to the next stage, accept each other's strengths and weaknesses. You need to focus on the positive, not focus on the negative, and learn about the goals and interests of each of you.

5. Study

Once a couple goes through the aforementioned stages of love, all unrealistic expectations tend to disappear.

Each party begins to open up more and more to each other, and there is a clearer understanding of how they can work together effectively in the relationship.

Couples begin to define and clarify their roles in the relationship, as well as their compatibility with each other.

There is a need to resolve certain issues, such as how much time a guy and a girl like to spend together and how long to stay alone, how each party is used to expressing and receiving love, etc.

Once couples can effectively communicate their needs to each other, they will be able to avoid many unpleasant things, such as aggressive behavior, avoidance, criticism, or defensiveness.

Focus instead on understanding, compassion, forgiveness and patience.

6. Proximity

This is the stage when they experience true intimacy. They support each other even better by giving and receiving love in return.

Ups and downs are an integral part of any relationship. However, the trust and loyalty of both partners will be able to carry them through these troubles without significant obstacles.

At this stage of love, each of you will stop focusing on your own personality and shift your attention to what is best for the relationship.

Now you feel unity, individuality, and love for each other. At the same time, the spirit of unity still prevails, further strengthening your relationship.

At this stage, you feel like an ideal couple. Many lovers may even decide to tie their fate with family ties, since they have come so far.

7. Doubts

Usually this stage occurs after many years of marriage. You may start thinking about your ex-lovers and past relationships, or start comparing your current partner to your previous ones.

At this stage, much depends on the level of satisfaction with the existing relationship. If you feel dissatisfied and hurt, you tend to blame your partner for it.

You may even start comparing your relationship to other couples in your circle.

But you shouldn’t add fuel to the fire, because you are able to get through this not the most fun stage.

8. Sexuality

At this stage of love, your intimate life plays a key role. Changes in love preferences are possible when one of you becomes less interested in realizing wild fantasies, or, conversely, wants to do something incredible.

If there is a significant difference in your passions, one of the partners may have an affair.

The key to solving the main problem at this stage is to find creative ways to make your sex life more varied and exciting, thereby strengthening your relationship.

9. Love

This is the highest stage of a relationship when both partners completely love and trust each other. However, sometimes the complete trust you have developed can cause you to take each other for granted, so be careful.

At this stage of love, you know each other very well, you know what to expect from each other, and you also clearly understand the direction of the relationship.

Even though there is complete bliss and understanding at this stage, do not stop appreciating and respecting your partner because love should be constantly cultivated and developed.

Remember that love is like a plant that needs nourishment to keep it alive.

34 interesting facts about love

1. Monogamy

And although humans would like to think that we are completely different from the rest of the animal kingdom, we are not the only creatures whose relationships are characterized by monogamy.

Wolves, gibbons, albatrosses and even termites are known to choose a mate for life.

2. Time required to evaluate attractiveness

First impressions are very important, especially when you consider that it only takes 4 minutes to decide whether you like someone or not.

It's not just how he looks and what he says that influences, but also his body language and the tone and speed of his voice.

3. Synchronization

If two lovers look into each other's eyes for a long time, their heartbeats will synchronize in about 3 minutes.

4. Addiction

Falling in love is similar to the effects of drugs because it uses similar parts of the brain and causes similar chemical reactions.

So, away with the use of illegal substances, instead, love and be loved.

5. Reduce headaches

Oxytocin, the love hormone produced by the body during hugs, helps reduce headaches and improve sleep.

The next time you have a headache, just hold your loved one close to you.

6. Levels of attractiveness

People often fall in love and begin relationships with others who have a similar level of attractiveness.

If someone in a relationship is physically more attractive, then, most likely, he compensates for the existing disadvantages due to the presence of other important socio-cultural qualities.

7. Too identical

Couples in which people are too similar tend to break up quickly.

Researchers have found that similarities help form the foundation of a relationship, but if partners have nothing to learn from each other, they are more likely to break up.

So opposites attract.

8. Time limit

Scientists believe that the peak of infatuation or romantic love occurs around one year after the start of a relationship.

We remind you that it is falling in love that makes you experience euphoria and butterflies in your stomach.

After falling in love passes, the relationship ends or moves to a higher level, transforming into true love.

9. Associations

Research shows that a loving mindset has a positive effect on creativity, abstract thought, and long-term planning.

Thinking about a fleeting intimate relationship affects immediate decision making and attention to the current moment.

10. Face or body?

People looking for a short-term fling are more concerned about their partner's attractive body than the beauty of his face.

In contrast, those wishing to enter into a long-term relationship prioritize the attractiveness of the face over the body.

11. Hold hands

The next time you find yourself stressed, try holding your loved one's hand, because romantic handshakes can help reduce stress and feelings of physical pain.

12. Gratitude

Expressing gratitude to your loved ones results in an immediate spike in happiness levels.

13. Butterflies in the stomach

The butterflies in your stomach that you feel when you fall in love are a result of your body producing the hormone adrenaline.

14. Pupils of the eyes

When you look at your loved one, even if it is just a photograph, the pupils of your eyes will dilate.

It should be added that people with dilated pupils are perceived as more attractive.

Therefore, it is not surprising that when you are in a relationship, you seem more attractive to the opposite sex.

15. Finding love

Long-term research has led to the conclusion that the happiness and life of most people almost always revolve around love or the search for love.

So even if you don't find your other half, just searching will lead to a happy life.

16. Lucky number seven

On average, people fall in love seven times before they finally decide to start a family. The seventh attempt, as a rule, becomes the reason for marriage.

17. Male gaze

On average, a man spends a whole year in his life looking at women.

18. Self-esteem

People with higher self-esteem tend to have longer-lasting and more successful relationships.

If you are not capable, why expect this high feeling from other people?

19. Emotions during separation

Statistically, men are more susceptible to negative emotional impact due to a breakup than women.

20. Long life

It is believed that husbands who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer. And this is another five years extra to see your loved ones every morning.

21. Dislike

Some people are unable to experience love due to a condition called hypopituitarism, due to a decrease or complete cessation of hormone production by the pituitary gland.

22. Symmetry

Facial symmetry is the basis of beauty and attractiveness, or so the human brain thinks.

Those with symmetrical facial features make love more often and can boast of a large number of fans.

23. Rose-colored glasses

Being in love suppresses the parts of the human brain responsible for perceiving social judgment.

Nobody wants to think about falling in love with a terrible person.

24. Love quest

Romantic situations involving obstacles that arise in the path of lovers are important factors in falling in love, influencing how deeply you fall in love.

The longer the romantic path and the more intricacies, the brighter and stronger the feelings of love and longing appear.

25. The dark side of love

According to statistics, more than 50% of murders of women are committed by their lovers or husbands.

26. Treason

Nearly 60% of married men said they had been unfaithful to their wives. Married women responded with a figure of 40%.

This information was compiled from a survey, so dishonesty on the part of either group cannot be ruled out.

27. Crisis of four years

Most marriages around the world experience a relationship crisis after four years of marriage.

The next important stage that the spouses have to overcome awaits them after the next four years, i.e. upon the eighth anniversary.

28. Forever young

Usually men marry women for the first time who are the same age as them or within 3 years younger.

When remarried, the age difference is usually approximately 5 years.

For the third time, a man most likely pays attention to women who are 8 or more years younger than him.

29. Biology

The desire to love, like the desire to eat food, is a biological stimulus with which we are born.

So even men are more lovers than warriors.

30. Dangerous Lover

You are more likely to fall in love with someone (especially women) if you are in a dangerous situation.

31. Beer belly

Women are less attracted to men who have decided to reward themselves with a beer belly.

The presence of an excessively protruding male belly indicates lower testosterone levels, which means a reduced ability to reproduce.

32. Sense of humor

A sense of humor is most often associated with honesty and intelligence.

This is why most women are attracted to men who can show off humor.

33. Competition

Male attractiveness increases if a man is surrounded by other women.

34. Voice

Men with a lower voice timbre seem more worthy of attention in women's eyes.

International Day of Happiness

In 2012, the UN declared March 20 as the International Day of Happiness to support the idea that the pursuit of happiness is a common feeling for all people on our planet. According to the founders of the Day, the holiday is intended to show that happiness is one of the main goals of humanity. In this regard, the founders call on all countries to focus their efforts on improving the well-being of every person. And the UN invites all member states, international and regional organizations, as well as civil society, including non-governmental organizations and individuals, to mark the International Day of Happiness in an appropriate manner, including through educational activities.
The initiative to establish the International Day of Happiness came from a small mountainous country - Bhutan. It is believed that the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Bhutan are the happiest people in the world - champions of the Gross National Happiness Index, which measures the national well-being of citizens. The very concept of the Gross National Happiness Coefficient was introduced and cultivated by the fourth king of Bhutan and became one of the concepts of the country’s unofficial state philosophy.
To reflect the well-being of people and the state of the environment in different countries of the world, the International Happiness Index (Happy Planet Index) was introduced in July 2006.

What is happiness?

We ourselves have divided the mind into three parts,
We are upset, we live with worries,
We are used to seeing Happiness only in the back,
And now we don’t recognize His face.
© Georgy Boreev

The problem with human happiness is that we do not always understand what happiness is. Our happiness is based, as a rule, on success: I am happy if I get what I wanted, and vice versa, I am unhappy if I don’t get it. This is conditional happiness.
We often become convinced that our happiness can come only through the possession of something, can only be achieved at the expense of someone else. Often self-indulgence seems to us to be happiness. And if this is not the case, we conclude that there is no happiness. On the other hand, those who satisfy their ego to the maximum are also unhappy and dissatisfied with life, because true happiness does not lie in this.
Happiness is a special high state of soaring, joy, love, light. But sometimes people confuse this heavenly state with pleasures and pleasures. This is not the same thing, but even very different.
When a person is truly happy, he becomes like a bird: it’s as if his wings grow and he soars above the ground, and his heart is filled with boundless joy. I want to distribute this joy to all people, so that everyone is joyful and happy.
It is absolutely impossible to lose happiness. We can only lose what does not really belong to us. People feel unhappy because they have something that they will sooner or later lose. They know this and spend all their strength trying to hold on to what does not belong to them, and everything material does not belong to them. All their lives they live in fear of losing something that is not theirs.
Happiness is a state that we cannot enter if we are dependent on fears. The main fear of a person is the fear of losing. In earthly life we ​​can lose almost everything, including our life (earthly existence in this incarnation).
So what is it that a person cannot lose?
But he cannot lose the feeling of his Divinity, the feeling of himself as a part of God the Creator. This means that in order to enter the State of true Happiness, a person needs to reveal his Divinity, which is expressed in unconditional Love and selfless service for the benefit of all humanity.

Vedic formula for human happiness:
- Fulfill your purpose.
- Do it with love.
- Do not get attached to the result (to the goal).

Have you noticed that this formula does not include the influence of other people? This means that our happiness depends on ourselves. Therefore, there is nowhere to wait for him.
There is only one true way to be happy - to love. Unconditional Love coming from you is the only path to happiness.

The Law of Giving To love means to give a part of yourself, without payment or reservations. If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it. And the more you give, the more you receive. Love is like a boomerang, it always comes back. It may not always be from the person to whom you gave it, but it will still come back to you. And it will return a hundredfold. At the same time, it is important to remember that we have an unlimited supply of love. We don't lose it when we give it.
And the only way to lose the love within us is to not give it to others.
One of the reasons why people rarely experience love is because they wait for someone else to love them first. But it's like a musician who says, "I'll only play music when people start dancing." Or wait for warmth from the fire without putting wood there.
True love is unconditional and asks for nothing in return. She does not tolerate barter.
The secret formula for a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus not on what you can take, but on what you can give.

Happiness only happens “here and now”

Many are convinced that to find happiness they must save the world. This is an error of perception. If they don't find happiness themselves first, the world is doomed. This may be hard for you to hear, but it's true. Until you feel happy now, you will not find happiness in the future. So if you are unhappy now, then don’t even try to think about happiness in the future, but direct all your attention to the present moment. This is where your happiness is.
We can only be happy in the present moment, so we need to learn to be happy with what we have at the moment.
The ability to be present in the present moment, to be attentive to it, is an art necessary for a deeper revelation of the state of happiness.

Someone thinks that true happiness is somewhere behind the mountains, behind the oceans, deserts, where you need to go long and painfully, overcoming adversity and obstacles. But the truth is that there is no need to go anywhere. Your happiness is not somewhere out there, far away, beyond the horizon - it is in you, and it has always been with you. Just to discover this simple truth, you need to hit so many bumps, wander so much around Mother Earth, drink more than one cup of losses, disappointments and falls.
Without leaving your place, you can find yourself in a wonderful land of light and joy, without listening to anyone's advice - you can find yourself, without following anyone's example, you can meet yourself.
And this is a true miracle that can happen to anyone!

Even in a garbage dump you can see something good and beautiful, for example a flower that has made its way to the sun through a pile of dirt. The only question is what are you looking at: garbage and dirt or a flower.
My opinion! - This is the source of my happiness and my misfortune.
My happiness does not depend on adding something else to life, but on what my attention is directed and focused on.

There is no need to wait for a bright future.
If I see gloom in everything, then all days are a continuous, single, gloomy day. If today, having transformed my vision, I direct it to a joyful one, then the bright future has already come, has arrived today.
Don’t look at the calendar, don’t study your horoscope, thinking that after so many days or years, good luck and happiness will come to you. Meanwhile, every day you will live sadly, gloomily and hopelessly. You should not wait for tomorrow, but become happy and joyful today. Today you need to join the bright stream of life and so that it flows not from the outside, but through you, through your Heart.
Joy, happiness, beauty are spilled in the endless ocean around us, and each of us is in the very center of this holiday, you just need to open your eyes to discover it!

Happiness is the dissolution of the ego

Happiness is a threat, and suffering is security - security for the ego. The ego can only exist in and through suffering. The ego is an island surrounded by hell; happiness threatens the ego, the very existence of the ego. Happiness rises like the sun and the ego disappears, evaporates like dew on a blade of grass.
Overcoming the ego is an important part of life itself. But overcoming the ego is not possible for everyone, but because a person seeks happiness in money and material wealth, experiences a passion for money, attachment to money, but if (when) he achieves material wealth, he feels spiritual and mental insufficiency. A wise person would not seek happiness in money; one who seeks such is petty, no matter what position he holds.
A person can go far in search of material happiness and not find it and be left with nothing. So that the ego does not control a person and does not overshadow his consciousness, one must gradually renounce (purify) it and the consciousness will be pure. If you begin to gradually renounce the ego, then, after a while, you can realize and feel how it decreases, and then completely disappears and dissolves. But a person who is going to practice renunciation of the ego must initially be ready for change and for filling the future emptiness with love.

There are millions of forms of expressing happiness, but there is only one true way to be happy - to love. Unconditional Love coming from you is the only way to happiness.
Before loving someone, any person must learn to love himself and accept his entire being.
The source of eternal, omnipresent, formless Love is within us. It is to him that our faith should be directed, because love is undoubted like nothing else. And when it is firmly established in our hearts, we will never again need to look for happiness outside of ourselves.

People will appear in and out of our lives. We will accept the love that exists in the world and see the absence of love for exactly what it is - a cry for help from the person who is hurting. We will encourage others to find the Source of Love within themselves, as we ourselves have done, fully understanding that we cannot solve their little problems. The tragedy of their lives can only be resolved by themselves - by their willingness to look into their own hearts and minds.

Think kindly about your neighbor, wish him love and happiness, or simply don’t stop him from being himself– this is the highest manifestation of love. For human relationships, the very awareness of this fact is very important: you cannot change another person. You either love him as he is, or you don’t; you accept it as is - or you don’t accept it. But trying to change him, to make him the way you would like him to be, is like trying to turn a dog into a cat or a cat into a horse. He is who he is, and you are who you are. You're either with him or you're not.

In order for both to be happy, everyone must bring impeccable order to their other half of the relationship. A person is responsible only for himself, but each of us has a lot of rubbish there. Our trash is just our trash. And we have to clean it up ourselves, not someone else. If your life partner wants to put things in order for you, it will all end with a bloody nose. You need to learn not to stick your nose where you're not told to.

Heal your other half of the relationship - and become happy. If you manage to heal your other half, you will be ready for a relationship in which there is no fear, no mutual demands. But remember that you can only heal part of yourself. Let each of you two take care of your other half - and you will see for yourself how quickly your relationship will improve.
Love makes us happy ; If both you and your life partner begin to serve love, it is difficult to even imagine what rich opportunities will open up for you. The day will come when you will live without guilt, without condemnation, without anger and sadness. And it will be a wonderful day: you can be completely open. You will begin to share only good things, you will only help each other, you will only give each other your love.

Any convention leads to internal conflict, and this is the problem of human happiness. For example, an attitude like “If ..., then I will be happy.”

False understanding of female happiness

1. I will be happy only when my husband treats me well.
2. I get the highest happiness in intimate relationships, and if they do not suit me, the partner is to blame, and, therefore, I need to look for another.
3. I feel happy that I do not limit myself in anything: I want to light a cigarette, drink a glass of wine (or two), eat a cake at night, etc.
4. I am happy when men look at me and they like me, so I will wear tight jeans, low neckline, a very short skirt, without a hat in the cold to be as attractive as possible.
5. I am happy that I am a self-sufficient woman - I can earn money, carry bags, drive a car, I don’t need handouts from men.
6. I will be happy when my boss raises my salary and my clients (colleagues) are calmer.

As you can see, most often we not only become attached to the result, but also wait for it long before we have “fulfilled our destiny” and not always with love... In this case, what kind of human happiness can we talk about? And the very expectation of happiness cuts everything in the bud. Therefore, let’s try to rephrase the erroneous attitudes given above into healthier and more correct attitudes regarding the understanding of our happiness.

True guidelines for understanding female happiness

1. I am happy regardless of who treats me and how. Only when I am happy does my husband treat me well.
2. Intimate relationships cannot make me happy. I am initially happy without intimate relationships. If intimate relationships do not bring happiness, then I am looking for it in the wrong place. Therefore, first I need to love the partner with whom I live, accept him as he is.
3. I feel happy that I take care of my health, so I limit myself in order not to harm myself: I don’t smoke, don’t drink, and don’t eat at night.
4. I am happy because I am a Real Woman. I take care of my beauty and therefore will not allow it to be looked at and committed in the mind of adultery, which pollutes my purity and chastity. Therefore, I will not walk around in tight jeans, with a low neckline, in a very short skirt, without a hat in the cold.
5. I am happy that I am a real woman - I can do without men if they are not around, but I can also turn to men for help, ask them for something and accept their care.
6. I am happy that I can do my job with love, fulfilling my purpose, and I am glad that I can be useful.

Don't try to do for your neighbor what he should do for himself. To overcome boundaries, you need to see them correctly. Do not place responsibility on your neighbor for your own peace and happiness, and on yourself for his peace and happiness.. He is not here to save you, and you are not here to save him.
On the other hand, do not hold anything against your neighbor. To be offended is the same as attacking him and giving yourself over to the power of fear and guilt.
Don't shy away when your neighbor asks for help. Let him walk with you hand in hand as long as he wants. And when he is ready to leave you, wish him a good journey. Don't hold him against his will and don't let him feel like he owes you something.
Your neighbor's freedom is nothing more than a symbol of your own freedom. Therefore, graciously allow him to come and go. Greet him when he comes and wish him a bon voyage when he goes. There's nothing more you can do. But this is quite enough.
A man creates the initial impulse, which allows love to manifest itself! A woman responds to a man’s impulses and reveals her love.
A mature woman “gives birth” to her man. This is her important and difficult task and very interesting! “Giving birth to a man” means creating great happiness. Many have heard about the “royal word.” This is the strong-willed, creative word of a man, filled with the deepest love for a woman. And the stronger and more complete the love between them, the more majestic the man’s royal word, the more significant it is for the World. Then this word becomes the word of the Creator! Many “royal” words were heard on earth, based not on love, but only on will. Hence the enormous disasters from such “royal” words.
Intuitively striving to make the word more significant, to fill it with love, rulers of all ranks surrounded themselves with fans, concubines, harems, and skillfully formed the people’s love for themselves. But the royal word acquires its greatest sound when it is filled with the mutual love of the one and only one that contains all the women of the world!

As long as you are unhappy, you will not be able to give happiness to your children!

There is a golden rule: “If I want my children to be happy, then I must be a happy person myself.” You can only give your children what you have yourself; the more happiness the parents have, the more happiness the children have. To cease war and enter into the present is to discover the greatness of our own heart, which can contain the happiness of all living beings as inseparable from our own happiness.

Be guided by love

Focus on gratitude: Pay attention to what you are grateful for to expand the energy of your heart. - this is when you prefer to see God's love in everything. No person who makes such a choice can be unhappy.
The decision to value what you acquire leads to happiness just as surely as the decision to belittle him leads to unhappiness and despair. The first supports and elevates. The second brings everything to naught and destroys.
The way you choose to respond to life's events shapes your perception for a long time. If despair reigns in your life, it comes from the fact that you have chosen not to notice, not to appreciate what is given from Above.
Don't forget: let go of resentment and anger towards others to free your heart.
Radiate: Spread “radiant” love and wish well to everyone you meet.

Everyone living on Earth reaps the fruits of the thoughts he sows. And if he wants to change the character of the next harvest, he must change his present thoughts.
A state of happiness can spread between people, and if everything is good in your family, then all family members are happy. It is sensitivity and attention towards yourself and the people around you that helps anyone become much happier.

Think lovingly of all living beings, wish that they become truly happy, find true peace, true freedom and true joy. First remembering your loved one, father, mother or spouse, or not so close friends and acquaintances, say:
" May all living beings be truly happy!
Let them truly become harmonious!
Let them become truly free!
"

Spiritual happiness is almost invisible to the eye. And the cruder the manifestation of happiness, the more and more noticeable it is: people start dancing, turn on music loudly, they need everyone around them to know that they have happiness.
But spiritual happiness will not be seen by an ordinary person. The power of this state is incredible. In this state, miracles, reality control, and much more are performed. A person in this state of absolute inner happiness can do anything. His thought is capable of materializing any desire.
Therefore, people are drawn to such Saints who are constantly in this state. Their power is so great that even the thought of this Saint already works to fulfill a desire (for example, healing or solving a problem).
Try, while listening to this mantra, to enter such a state of inner happiness (ecstasy). This is a very subtle feeling. Very sublime, and at first it is difficult to realize it, it is so subtle. But gradually, striving for things that cause this feeling, you will understand better and better what we are talking about.






Copyright © 2015 Unconditional love

Lesson summary

“Why didn’t happiness happen?

Tatiana Larina and Evgeny Onegin?

(The theme of love in R.

"Eugene Onegin".)

Lesson that concludes the in-depth

reading a novel.

A lesson teaching essay-reasoning.

Lesson teaching how to make a plan

ordinary and quotation plan.

Teacher:

Lesson objectives:

1. Complete an in-depth reading of the novel “Eugene Onegin.”

2. Analyze chapter 8 and answer the main question of the lesson.

3. Determine what is unique about the genre of writing - reasoning, and name its components.

The main objective of the lesson:

learning to write an essay plan.

Technologies:

group, research, creative.

Equipment:

Illustrations for the novel and drawings by students;

Recordings of Onegin and Tatiana's arias;

Texts of the novel;

Textbook on literature 10th grade. ;

Decorated board.

Plan. (Lesson and as an essay plan).

Ordinary

Quotable

I. Love and happiness are very close concepts.

II. Onegin and Tatyana are two banks of one life - a river.

1. Captured by books and light.

2. Meeting of heroes. (Village).

3. Letter from Tatiana.

4. Garden date.

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin).

6. New meeting. (Petersburg.)

7. Last date. Separation forever.

III. 1. The originality and role of composition in revealing the main plot line of the novel - the failed happiness of the author’s favorite characters.

“God grant that in this book you (the reader) can find at least a particle.”

Introduction.

I. "Love is the heart of everything."

Main part.

II. “The shores, the shores. This bank and that bank - between them is the river of our life.”

1. She“I fell in love with the novels of both Richardson and Rousseau.”

He"like Childe Harold sullen."

2. She: “You just walked in, I instantly recognized...”

He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. She: “I recognize that you were sent to me by God.”

He

4. She“I listened, barely breathing.”

He: “Your perfections are in vain. I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. He:“Another thing separated us, Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.” (Or "From everything that heart nice, then I tore it off.”

She

6. He: “How Tatiana has changed! - Goddess of the royal Neva!”

She"... doesn't notice him."

7. He: “What a mistake I was, how I was punished!”

She

Conclusion

III. 1. “Forever alive, forever new.”

(Opinions and judgments about the novel from critics and readers of different eras).

Preparatory work.

1. Draw illustrations for the 8th chapter of the novel (your own, not copy them).

3. Answer the questions in writing (in workbooks):

How does the novel end? (Chapter 8).

Who and what is the whole novel about?

Your understanding(s):

What is love?

what is happiness? Are they related?

Under what circumstances, where, how did Tatyana and Evgeny Onegin meet?

Why didn’t Onegin reciprocate, although he immediately noted her intelligence, modesty, and spiritual beauty?

Tatiana's letter to Onegin. How does it reveal Tatyana’s character and nature?

Onegin's confession to Tatyana (date in the garden) in response to her letter. How does it characterize Onegin, what are his character traits?

Why did the duel between Onegin and Lensky take place, because they were friends?

Have our heroes (Onegin and Tatyana) changed during the 2 years of separation?

Why did Onegin now fall in love with Tatiana, a society lady?

Why did Tatyana refuse Onegin now?

Who do you feel more sorry for: Tatiana or Onegin? And Pushkin?

Why does Pushkin leave his hero (Onegin) at such a fatal moment for him, and the novel remains unfinished?

Is it possible to continue it? If so, how would you complete it? Try writing another chapter (you can do it in prose, of course).

Why, in your opinion, did Onegin and Tatyana not become happy?

Or maybe they found a different kind of happiness? What? What is the ideal of the poet Pushkin?

Individual tasks.

1. Prepare brief information (repetition) about romanticism, sentimentalism, the uniqueness of their development in Russia (2 students). The material is in the textbook.

2. Prepare an expressive memorization of Tatyana’s letter (with my abbreviations) (1 student).

3. Re-enactment of the last date between Onegin and Tatiana (St. Petersburg). (I compiled it myself based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8. I prepared its performance.)

4. 2 individual tasks about Tatiana and Onegin: - a report about Onegin’s journey and how he appeared in St. Petersburg; - a message about what events happened in Tatiana’s life during Onegin’s absence, how are they explained?

Design of the board for the lesson.

Notes on the board: topic, goals, tasks, plan. (The plan is the usual (left side) of the board, and the right is empty).

During the classes.

I. Introduction.

"Love is the heart of everything." (Or love and happiness are very close concepts.)

1. Guys, what and who is this novel about? (About love, about unfulfilled hopes, about young people of the 10s-20s of the 19th century.)

2. What is love? What meaning do you give to this word? What does Pushkin mean by the word love? (The guys name the words: love is passion, suffering, illness, illness, happiness or unhappiness, family; this is life, favorite job, beloved friends...)

I have already prepared these words on pieces of paper in advance and drawn a heart. I attach these words to it (like rays) (or all this on the poster).

It turns out that this is the basic outline (the guys can draw it in their notebooks)

Favorite job life

beloved friends passion

suffering

family Children

misfortune illness

happiness illness

3. What is happiness? (We do the same vocabulary work with this word.)

Sun (happiness): a sense of accomplishment, life, love, light, warmth of the family hearth, children, service to the Fatherland.

Let's write down the first output:

Love and happiness are very close concepts, they always coexist, one is revealed through the other. These words are synonyms. The novel “Eugene Onegin” is a novel about love, but one that failed and did not become happiness.

So today in class we will try to find out the reasons why the happiness of Tatyana and Onegin did not happen, what are the reasons. This is the topic of the lesson.

Let's move on to the main part of our reasoning.

II. Main part.

1. Captured by books and light.

1. A brief literary dictionary reference about sentimentalism and romanticism and the peculiarities of their development in Russia. (2 students are prepared in advance.)

2. Conversation with students.

Do you guys find the presence of these trends in literature regarding the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (Yes, especially since Pushkin himself called his work a “novel.”)

What is this novel: a tribute to fashion, that is, romanticism that was fashionable at that time, or an attempt by the author to explain the characters of his heroes and their relationships? (Both.)

What are our main characters Onegin and Tatyana? What can you tell about them (based on the first chapters of the novel) about their lifestyle, hobbies, habits? (To save time, 2 previously prepared students can briefly talk about them.)

We write down the output: Onegin and Tatyana live the life of book heroes, like all the youth of 10-20: Tatyana - Richardson, Rousseau; Onegin - Byron (“Childe Harold”), Benjamin Constant (“Adolph”).

Pushkin himself was fascinated by them and studied them! That is, Onegin and Tatyana are typical representatives of youth of the early 19th century, they are no exception, they are the same tribute to fashion; This is captivity, this is deception, these are mistakes, delusions, living under the impression of what you read. (" She fell in love with the deceptions of both Richardson and Rousseau”; He"like Childe Harold sullen.")

2. Meeting. (Village).

Briefly tell us how, under what circumstances, where did Onegin and Tatyana meet for the first time? (In the village, Lensky invited a friend to the Larins.)

What was this meeting like for Tatyana? (Fatal!)

Why fatal? What is the consequence of this meeting? (Tatyana falls in love with Onegin, but unrequitedly!) She: “You just walked in, I recognized it instantly.” He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. Letter (from Tatyana).

A student (in Tatiana's costume) reads by heart (abbreviated) Tatiana's letter.

Question for the class:

What can you say about Tatyana’s feelings, what are they?

How does the letter reveal Tatyana’s nature and character? (Her feelings are sincere, pure, strong, she fell in love for the rest of her life. She is an integral nature, but too trusting, believes in fate, etc.)

She: “I know you were sent to me by God.”

He:“...I was touched by innocent Tanya’s letter.”

4. Date. (In the garden.)

Why did Tatyana fall in love with Onegin at first sight?

(I read books, waited for my hero, saw him in Onegin - mysterious, different; I believed in the destiny of fate.)

Why didn't Onegin take advantage? divine gift, which fate sent him?

(I didn’t want to lose the freedom that I had just gained by leaving the “light” of St. Petersburg; he still was not able to love himself and couldn't appreciate the love of another.) But he showed gratitude, warning where “inexperience leads.”

She: “... listened, barely breathing.”

He: “Your perfections are in vain,

I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin.)

What caused the separation of Onegin and Tatiana? (Duel, death of Lensky.)

Why took place Onegin's duel with Lensky? A duel between friends?

(“The spring of honor is our idol.

And this is what the world revolves on!”)

Fear of gossip, rumors. Yes, and they are friends “with nothing to do.”

It turns out that Onegin is incapable of either love or friendship, because he is not free from the “light”, its laws. Only then will it come to him.

He: “Another thing has separated us,

Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.”

(Or "From everything that sweet to my heart,

Then I tore my heart out.")

She(in Onegin’s house): “Isn’t he a parody?”

The student and student briefly talk about how and where Onegin and Tatyana lived for two years apart:

about Onegin - travel and what returned to St. Petersburg as greeted;

about Tatyana - a series of events in her life, her feelings, thoughts, new external the appearance of the heroine.

6. New meeting. (Petersburg.)

How does St. Petersburg find Onegin’s “light”, and why?

(Strange, he doesn’t look like his former self, doesn’t look like them.)

What does the “light” advise Onegin? (Be like everyone else.)

What do you think is the “strangeness of Onegin”? What has changed in him? (I began to notice people, became capable of feeling, suffering, fell in love!)

How does he find Tatyana now? (He finds no trace of the former humble girl. She is unapproachable, cold: “Goddess of the royal Neva!”) He: “Goddess of the royal Neva!” She: “... doesn’t notice him.”

Let's see this with our own eyes.

7. Staging. "Last date."

(Last date scene

Onegin and Tatiana.)

It is based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8 of the novel.

How is this date different from the first one, in the garden, in the village? (Onegin has become himself, loves, suffers, but does not find the same Tanya. The situation has changed just the other way around. She is now teaching him a lesson in morality.)

How does Tatyana motivate Onegin’s sudden love for herself? Answer with lines from the novel. (Which is noble, that in the world, that her shame would be noticed by everyone.)

What do you think: is she right? (No! He loves sincerely, repents of his previous mistakes, that then “he didn’t give in to the habit”, that “he didn’t want to lose his hateful freedom.”)

What do they both understand? (that they both love each other. That Tanya is the same, that Onegin is different, but that happiness is impossible.)

Why does Tatyana ask to leave her? (She got married, is faithful to duty, values ​​her husband’s honor, respects him, because he is a noble, battle-wounded general, respected by everyone.) He: “How wrong I was, how I was punished.” She: “But I was given to another, I will be faithful to him forever.”

8. What mistakes did they both make?

(Tatyana got married, yielding to her mother’s pleas, and “all the lots were equal” to her; Onegin once did not believe himself (“the habit was given to us from above”), he could not once become above the “light.”)

Conclusion: Their happiness did not happen for many reasons (mistakes that both of them made): a tribute to fashion; Tatyana’s ignorance of the laws of social life, her carelessness; the desire to be free from family ties as Onegin; duel; Tatyana's marriage.

What lesson of life, what science of love did Pushkin teach us? (Life is harsh, in contrast to its beauty in books, in dreams; it is filled with human suffering, separations, late awareness of one’s mistakes and the inability to correct them, since it is impossible to turn back time, to live again (you cannot step into the same river twice). So it always was, so it is and so it will be...

What examples of such a fate of heroes in works of classical and modern literature do you know?

(“Romeo and Juliet” - literary heroes; M. Volkonskaya - in life. She did not marry, like Tatyana (in the r. “Eugene Onegin”), for love, but she carried a high sense of duty throughout her life, went for her husband to Siberia...) The same destinies, sufferings, and mistakes of life are sung in the song “Shores” performed by A. Malinin. Let's listen to her.

9. (Musical pause.)

III. The final part of the lesson.

"The distance of a free novel."

1. The role of composition, its originality in revealing the ideological concept of the novel.

Questions for the class:

What can you say about the composition of the novel?

What is the role of chapter 8 in it?

What is unique about the composition of the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (answer)

Then I.(The composition is traditional and simple, since the novel reveals the typical fate of the heroes in the development of their love relationships.

First: She loves him

He won't notice her.

She writes him a letter and listens to his sermon.

Then: He loves her, she does not notice him; he writes her a letter, listens to her sermon

This often happens in life. This is a simple structure of the novel (mirror composition, reverse reflection.) But it emphasizes the complexity of human relationships and the experiences of our heroes.

Critics, readers about the novel.

2. Now let's turn to the opinions of critics and literary scholars (Pushkin's contemporaries and today). What did they find in the novel, what do they think about its characters?

(The statements of Belinsky, Herzen, Dostevsky, Merezhkovsky, Lotman, Kuchelbecker, Gukovsky end.) We read from the textbook and listen to individual information from the student.

Question for the class: - Are their opinions clear?

Answer: “No, different. Yes, many coincide..."

Question: "And why?"

Answer: …

Conclusion (teacher): because our life is filled with diversity, movement of thoughts, destinies. The main thing in it is the ability to overcome difficulties, the ability to think, feel, love, warm others with your love, shine for others like a candle in a dark night, warm others who need it with the warmth of your outstretched hand. This is what the great Pushkin hoped for, and prayed to God for this: “God grant that in this book, reader, you could find even a grain.” I. Moiseev and A. Pugacheva sing about this in the song “Two Candles in a Dark Night.” (Light candles from one to another, join hands and listen to the song.)

2nd musical break.

Our journey through the pages of Pushkin’s favorite novel “Eugene Onegin” has ended, the last page of the life of his favorite heroes has closed. Take his wise advice with you into life, carefully, like a candle, carry your love through life and remember that love (as the poet told us) is a priceless gift, a divine gift! Learn from Pushkin all your life.

Lesson grades. They are ranked according to the number of tokens and their colors that the students earned during the lesson.

Homework.

Write an essay on one of the suggested topics. (The topics were given in advance in one of the lessons at the beginning of the commented reading of the novel.)

Here is a list of these topics.

1. Why didn’t Onegin and Tatyana’s happiness happen? (Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin.”)

2. The role of the episode (“Tatyana’s Dream”) in revealing the character and fate of the main character of the novel “Eugene Onegin.”

3. “Where there are no passions,

Where there is no sadness -

There is no life there.

V. Belinsky

(Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin” or the student’s choice.)

4. “I love my dear Tatyana so much.”

A. Pushkin

5. Features of the genre and composition of the novel “Eugene Onegin”.

6. My opinion about Onegin. (Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin.”)

Subject: Russian literature

Topic: Preparing for an essay. (22 – 23 lessons)

An essay based on the work of A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin".

“Why didn’t happiness happen?

Tatiana Larina and Evgeny Onegin?

(The theme of love in A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”) Lesson type: Lesson that completes an in-depth reading of the novel.

A lesson teaching essay-reasoning.

A lesson teaching how to draw up a regular plan and a quotation plan.

Goals: To be able to correctly select material, analyze a work, write according to the topic of the essay, and use citations correctly.

Objectives: 1. Complete an in-depth reading of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

2. Analyze chapter 8 and answer the main question of the lesson.

3. Determine what is unique about the genre of essay-reasoning, name its components.

The main objective of the lesson:

learning to write an essay plan.

Technologies:

group, research, creative.

Equipment:

Illustrations for the novel and drawings by students;

Recordings of Onegin and Tatiana's arias;

Texts of the novel;

Textbook on literature 10th grade. V. G. Marantsman;

Decorated board.

Plan. (Lesson and as an essay plan).

Normal Quoted

I. Love and happiness are very close concepts.



II. Onegin and Tatyana are two banks of one life - a river.

1. Captured by books and light.

2. Meeting of heroes. (Village).

3. Letter from Tatiana.

4. Garden date.

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin).

7. Last date. Separation forever.

III. 1. The originality and role of composition in revealing the main plot line of the novel - the failed happiness of the author’s favorite characters.

“God grant that in this book you (the reader) can find at least a particle.”

A. S. PushkinIntroduction.

I. "Love is the heart of everything."

V. V. Mayakovsky

Main part.

II. “The shores, the shores. This bank and that bank - between them is the river of our life.”

1. She “fell in love with the novels of both Richardson and Rousseau.”

He's "like Childe Harold sullen."

2. She: “You just walked in, I instantly recognized...”

He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. She: “I recognize that you were sent to me by God.”

He “... was touched by innocent Tanya’s letter.”

4. She “listened with barely a breath.”

He: “Your perfections are in vain. I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. He: “Another thing separated us, Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.” (Or “From everything that was dear to my heart, then I tore it away.” She (in Onegin’s house): “Isn’t he a parody?”

6. He: “How Tatiana has changed! - Goddess of the royal Neva!”

She “... doesn’t notice him.”

7. He: “What a mistake I was, how I was punished!”

She: “But I was given to someone else, I will be faithful to him forever.”

Conclusion

III. 1. “Forever alive, forever new.”

V. G. Belinsky

(Opinions and judgments about the novel from critics and readers of different eras).

Preparatory work.

1. Draw illustrations for the 8th chapter of the novel (your own, not copy them).

3. Answer the questions in writing (in workbooks):

How does the novel end? (Chapter 8).

Who and what is the whole novel about?

Your understanding (and A.S. Pushkin):

What is love?

what is happiness? Are they related?

Under what circumstances, where, how did Tatyana and Evgeny Onegin meet?

Why didn’t Onegin reciprocate, although he immediately noted her intelligence, modesty, and spiritual beauty?

Tatiana's letter to Onegin. How does it reveal Tatyana’s character and nature?

Onegin's confession to Tatyana (date in the garden) in response to her letter. How does it characterize Onegin, what are his character traits?

Why did the duel between Onegin and Lensky take place, because they were friends?

Have our heroes (Onegin and Tatyana) changed during the 2 years of separation?

Why did Onegin now fall in love with Tatiana, a society lady?

Why did Tatyana refuse Onegin now?

Who do you feel more sorry for: Tatiana or Onegin? And Pushkin?

Why does Pushkin leave his hero (Onegin) at such a fatal moment for him, and the novel remains unfinished?

Is it possible to continue it? If so, how would you complete it? Try writing another chapter (you can do it in prose, of course).

Why, in your opinion, did Onegin and Tatyana not become happy?

Or maybe they found a different kind of happiness? What? What is the ideal of the poet Pushkin?

Individual tasks.

1. Prepare brief information (repetition) about romanticism, sentimentalism, the uniqueness of their development in Russia (2 students). The material is in the textbook.

2. Prepare an expressive memorization of Tatyana’s letter (with my abbreviations) (1 student).

3. Re-enactment of the last date between Onegin and Tatiana (St. Petersburg). (I compiled it myself based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8. I prepared its performance.)4. 2 individual tasks about Tatiana and Onegin: - a report about Onegin’s journey and how he came to St. Petersburg; - a message about what events happened in Tatiana’s life during Onegin’s absence, how are they explained?

Design of the board for the lesson.

Notes on the board: topic, goals, tasks, plan. (The plan is normal (left side) of the board, and the right is empty).

During the classes.

I. Introduction.

"Love is the heart of everything." (Or love and happiness are very close concepts.)

1. Guys, what and who is this novel about? (About love, about unfulfilled hopes, about young people of the 10s-20s of the 19th century.)

2. What is love? What meaning do you give to this word? What does Pushkin mean by the word love? (The guys name the words: love is passion, suffering, illness, illness, happiness or unhappiness, family; this is life, favorite job, beloved friends...)

I have already prepared these words on pieces of paper in advance and drawn a heart. I attach these words to it (like rays) (or all this on the poster).

It turns out that this is the basic outline (the guys can draw it in their notebooks)

Favorite job life

beloved friends passion

suffering

family Children

misfortune illness

happiness illness

3. What is happiness? (We do the same vocabulary work with this word.)

Sun (happiness): a sense of accomplishment, life, love, light, warmth of the family hearth, children, service to the Fatherland. We write down the first conclusion:

Love and happiness are very close concepts, they always coexist, one is revealed through the other. These words are synonyms. The novel “Eugene Onegin” is a novel about love, but one that failed and did not become happiness.

So today in class we will try to find out the reasons why the happiness of Tatyana and Onegin did not happen, what are the reasons. This is the topic of the lesson.

Let's move on to the main part of our reasoning.

II. Main part.

1. Captured by books and light.

1. A brief literary dictionary reference about sentimentalism and romanticism and the peculiarities of their development in Russia. (2 students are prepared in advance.)

2. Conversation with students.

Do you guys find the presence of these trends in literature regarding the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (Yes, especially since Pushkin himself called his work a “novel.”)

What is this novel: a tribute to fashion, that is, romanticism that was fashionable at that time, or an attempt by the author to explain the characters of his heroes and their relationships? (Both.)

What are our main characters Onegin and Tatyana?

What can you tell about them (based on the first chapters of the novel) about their lifestyle, hobbies, habits?

(To save time, 2 previously prepared students can briefly talk about them.)

We write down the conclusion: Onegin and Tatyana live the life of the heroes of the books, like all the youth of 10-20: Tatyana - Richardson, Rousseau; Onegin - Byron (“Childe Harold”), Benjamin Constant (“Adolph”).

Pushkin himself was fascinated by them and studied them! That is, Onegin and Tatyana are typical representatives of youth of the early 19th century, they are no exception, they are the same tribute to fashion; This is captivity, this is deception, these are mistakes, delusions, living under the impression of what you read. (“She fell in love with the deceptions of both Richardson and Rousseau”; he is “like Childe Harold, gloomy.”)

2. Meeting. (Village).

Briefly tell us how, under what circumstances, where did Onegin and Tatyana meet for the first time? (In the village, Lensky invited a friend to the Larins.)

What was this meeting like for Tatyana? (Fatal!)

Why fatal? What is the consequence of this meeting? (Tatyana falls in love with Onegin, but unrequitedly!) She: “You just walked in, I recognized it instantly.” He: “Tell me, which one is Tatyana?”

3. Letter (from Tatyana).

A student (in Tatiana's costume) reads by heart (abbreviated) Tatiana's letter.

Question for the class:

What can you say about Tatyana’s feelings, what are they?

How does the letter reveal Tatyana’s nature and character? (Her feelings are sincere, pure, strong, she fell in love for the rest of her life. She is a whole nature, but too trusting, believes in fate, etc.) She: “I know, you were sent to me by God.”

He: “... touched by innocent Tanya’s letter.”

4. Date. (In the garden.)

Why did Tatyana fall in love with Onegin at first sight?

(I read books, waited for my hero, saw him in Onegin - mysterious, different; I believed in the plans of fate.)

Why didn’t Onegin take advantage of the divine gift that fate sent him?

(He did not want to lose the freedom that he had just gained by leaving the “light” of St. Petersburg; he was not yet able to love himself and could not appreciate the love of another.) But he showed gratitude, warning where “inexperience leads.”

She: “... listened, barely breathing.”

He: “Your perfections are in vain,

I’m not worthy of them at all.”

5. Separation. (Duel, departure of Onegin.)

What caused the separation of Onegin and Tatiana? (Duel, death of Lensky.)

Why did the duel between Onegin and Lensky take place? A duel between friends?

(“The spring of honor is our idol. And that’s what the world revolves on!”) ​​Fear of gossip, rumors. Yes, and they are friends “with nothing to do.”

It turns out that Onegin is incapable of either love or friendship, because he is not free from the “light”, its laws. Only then will it come to him.

He: “Another thing has separated us,

Lensky fell an unfortunate victim.”

(Or “From everything that is dear to my heart, Then I tore my heart away.”) She (in Onegin’s house): “Isn’t he a parody?”

The student and student briefly talk about how and where Onegin and Tatyana lived for two years apart:

about Onegin - the journey and how he returned to St. Petersburg, how he was met;

about Tatyana - a series of events in her life, her feelings, thoughts, the new appearance of the heroine.

6. New meeting. (Petersburg.)

How does St. Petersburg find Onegin’s “light”, and why?

(Strange, he doesn’t look like his former self, doesn’t look like them.)

What does the “light” advise Onegin? (Be like everyone else.)

What do you think is the “strangeness of Onegin”? What has changed in him? (I began to notice people, became capable of feeling, suffering, and fell in love!)

How does he find Tatyana now? (He finds no trace of the former humble girl. She is unapproachable, cold: “Goddess of the royal Neva!”) He: “Goddess of the royal Neva!” She: “... doesn’t notice him.”

Let's see this with our own eyes.

7. Staging. "Last date."

(Scene of the last date between Onegin and Tatyana.) It is based on Onegin’s letter, chapter 8 of the novel.

How is this date different from the first one, in the garden, in the village? (Onegin has become himself, loves, suffers, but does not find the same Tanya. The situation has changed just the other way around. She is now teaching him a lesson in morality.) - How does Tatyana motivate Onegin’s sudden love for herself? Answer with lines from the novel. (Which is noble, that in the world, that her shame would be noticed by everyone.)

What do you think: is she right? (No! He loves sincerely, repents of his previous mistakes, that then “he didn’t give in to the habit”, that “he didn’t want to lose his hateful freedom.”) - What do they both understand? (that they both love each other. That Tanya is the same, that Onegin is different, but that happiness is impossible.) - Why does Tatyana ask to leave her? (She got married, is faithful to duty, values ​​her husband’s honor, respects him, because he is a noble, battle-wounded, respected general.) He: “How wrong I was, how I was punished.” She: “But I was given to someone else, I will be faithful to him forever.”

8. What mistakes did they both make?

(Tatyana got married, yielding to her mother’s pleas, and “all the lots were equal” to her; Onegin once did not believe himself (“the habit was given to us from above”), he could not once become above the “light.”)

Conclusion: Their happiness did not materialize for many reasons (mistakes that both of them made): a tribute to fashion; Tatyana’s ignorance of the laws of social life, her carelessness; the desire to be free from family ties as Onegin; duel; Tatyana's marriage.

What lesson of life, what science of love did Pushkin teach us? (Life is harsh, in contrast to its beauty in books, in dreams; it is filled with human suffering, separations, late awareness of one’s mistakes and the inability to correct them, since it is impossible to turn back time, to live again (you cannot step into the same river twice). So it always was, so it is and so it will be...

What examples of such a fate of heroes in works of classical and modern literature do you know?

(“Romeo and Juliet” - literary heroes; M. Volkonskaya - in life. She, like Tatyana (in the r. “Eugene Onegin”), did not marry for love, but carried a high sense of duty throughout her life, went for her husband to Siberia...) The same destinies, sufferings, and mistakes of life are sung in the song “Shores” performed by A. Malinin. Let's listen to her.

9. (Musical pause.)

III. The final part of the lesson.

"The distance of a free novel."

1. The role of composition, its originality in revealing the ideological concept of the novel.

Questions for the class:

What can you say about the composition of the novel?

What is the role of chapter 8 in it?

What is unique about the composition of the novel “Eugene Onegin”? (answer)

Then Ya. (The composition is traditional, simple, since the novel reveals the typical fate of the heroes in the development of their love relationships. First: She loves him,

He won't notice her.

She writes him a letter and listens to his sermon.

Then: He loves her, she does not notice him; he writes her a letter, listens to her sermon. This often happens in life. This is a simple structure of the novel (mirror composition, reverse reflection.) But it emphasizes the complexity of human relationships and the experiences of our heroes.

Critics, readers about the novel.

2. Now let's turn to the opinions of critics and literary scholars (Pushkin's contemporaries and today). What did they find in the novel, what do they think about its characters?

(The statements of Belinsky, Herzen, Dostevsky, Merezhkovsky, Lotman, Kuchelbecker, Gukovsky end.) We read from the textbook and listen to individual information from the student.

Question to the class: -Are their opinions clear?

Answer: “No, they are different. Yes, many coincide..."

Question: “Why is that so?”

Conclusion (teacher): because our life is filled with diversity, movement of thoughts, destinies. The main thing in it is the ability to overcome difficulties, the ability to think, feel, love, warm others with your love, shine for others like a candle in a dark night, warm others who need it with the warmth of your outstretched hand. This is what the great Pushkin hoped for, and prayed to God for this: “God grant that in this book, reader, you could find even a grain.” I. Moiseev and A. Pugacheva sing about this in the song “Two Candles in a Dark Night.” (Light candles from one to another, join hands and listen to the song.)

2nd musical break.

Our journey through the pages of Pushkin’s favorite novel “Eugene Onegin” has ended, the last page of the life of his favorite heroes has closed. Take his wise advice with you into life, carefully, like a candle, carry your love through life and remember that love (as the poet told us) is a priceless gift, a divine gift! Learn from Pushkin all your life.

Lesson grades. They are ranked according to the number of tokens and their colors that the students earned during the lesson.

Homework.

Write an essay on one of the suggested topics. (The topics were given in advance in one of the lessons at the beginning of the commented reading of the novel.)

Here is a list of these topics.

1. Why didn’t Onegin and Tatyana’s happiness happen? (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

2. The role of the episode (“Tatyana’s Dream”) in revealing the character and fate of the main character of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin.”

3. “Where there are no passions,

Where there is no sadness -

There is no life there.

V. Belinsky

(Based on the novel “Eugene Onegin” or the student’s choice.)

4. “I love my dear Tatyana so much.”

A. Pushkin

5. Features of the genre and composition of A. S. Pushkin’s novel “Eugene Onegin”.

6. My opinion about Onegin. (Based on the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin.”)

And they wait impatiently for “love to come unexpectedly.” In the confidence that then the bright, full-fledged joy of life will sound like a powerful, strong chord. Everyone is very fueled by the myth that “man is born for happiness, like a bird is born for flight.” And that each of us is born with the ability to love.

Maybe he does, but why doesn’t it occur to anyone that without development, any abilities can wither away.

What are these abilities? Why are people drawn to one person and shy away from another? What do you need to have to be loved? Money? Position? With your mind? Face? Clothes?

None of the above. You just need to have a full-fledged emotional sphere. And the richer a person’s palette of experiences, the more attractive he is to others. Because there is a living fire burning in him, to which both women and men are drawn. An emotionally complete person is never lonely!

Emotions are an unpopular topic. There are no discussions and polemics about emotions on TV; they are not discussed in the kitchen. They are not interested at all. We can say that this topic is closed in society. Or rather, not touched by anyone. This sacred knowledge is hidden from everyone because it is not in demand.

Meanwhile, all human life is built on emotions, tied and revolves around them. To get sensations, impressions and experiences, people read books and listen to music, start hobbies, go to fun discos and go on challenging hikes.

Do you think people dream of fame and power? No, about the experiences they can give. They even earn money to buy emotions. Because a new yacht or an old bicycle, a cheap bauble or natural diamonds, a picnic in a nearby grove or a cruise around the world are valuable only for the sensations they bring.

Moreover, the origins of any creativity originate in emotions. To create something, a person must be passionate about it. And the secret of charisma, which so many dream of, is hidden there - in a powerful, deep, “multi-colored” emotional sphere.

From the point of view of science, both love and happiness are the highest emotions that are inherent only to humans.

Animals do not have love because they do not have higher emotions. And they get along just fine without it. Look, wolves have stable monogamous couples, when the she-wolf is “on maternity leave”, the wolf does not drink, does not run to the left, but regularly carries food to her. Some people could use a lesson.

True, animals are not happy. They are capable of experiencing pleasure, but not happiness. They don't have this center in their brain.

But a person has. Perhaps that is why both happiness and love belong rather to the category of the divine.

However, in man, animal and divine principles are combined in a surprising and not at all harmonious way.

The human aversion to tension makes him dream of having happiness, but without effort. And then happiness is declared to be well-fed peace, like that of animals in a zoo. And everything is called love, from sexual attraction to the social attitude: “it’s time to have a family.”

If only those who dream of love listened not only to fashionable songs, but also read smart books! They would learn that love does not always bring joy and pleasure. Never peace. Sometimes death.

And about happiness in the encyclopedic dictionary it is written that it is “a feeling of completeness and meaningfulness of life.” I’m afraid we’re not talking about external indicators – family-career-house-full-cup, but about something completely different, not known to many. When life is not feared and not invented. When they perceive it in all its diversity and respond to its signs, like a sensitive tuning fork. And for this it boils inside a person and around him.

By the way, a person experiences the most vivid sensations from happiness that did not fall on his head, but through suffering. When he could, he achieved, he conquered, he achieved. These are rare conditions. They are truly about love. Sometimes to a person. Sometimes to Business. Always towards Life.

It’s surprising that only fiction and speculation circulate about this most important area in a person’s life. Heaps of books have been written on how to develop will, memory, and intelligence. They never say “develop” about emotions, but only “control”. This means avoiding “negative” feelings at all costs. For some reason, most people are sure that a person does not need fear and anger. That nature and the Lord God created them foolishly. And a person’s task is to remove unnecessary things from himself.

So in the middle of the twentieth century, swamps were drained, not taking into account that nature has its own laws. The swamps disappeared, but insects disappeared with them, birds died out behind them - the ecology was disrupted.

As in nature, there is nothing unnecessary in the human soul. Each sense has its own function and purpose. There are no good or bad emotions, there are adequate and inadequate, appropriate and inappropriate.

As in nature, the emotional sphere of man has its own complex and fragile balance. It is easy to break, but so difficult to restore.

A person with well-developed emotionality receives incomparably more pleasure from work and rest, from communicating with art, people and nature, from food and sex... from life! They say about such a person: he has courage, drive.

And these people also feel inner independence. No wonder they irritate society. After all, they feel in their own way, and not “as is customary”! Therefore, there are many who want to drive the divine gift into a Procrustean bed. Here is the state, which needs silent robots. And loving parents who carefully trim their child’s wings so that he doesn’t fly far. Oh no, no one wants harm. But how often crimes are committed not out of malice, but out of ignorance.

Various kinds of trainings have also appeared that deal with the emasculation of emotions. They promise to teach you to be forever happy, or at least always in a good mood. It’s called “seeing the positive in everything.” How is that? Having never experienced suffering? Neither from mistakes, from which, as you know, one learns, nor from one’s own stupidity or meanness? Mental pain is a sign, a beacon, a landmark, it signals, it screams - understand and be smarter! Pain is the touch of God. K. Kedrov.

The current fashionable trick, which is taught in trainings, is to track down and cut off “bad” feelings in yourself, nip them in the bud, right in the morning. But while a person with the enthusiasm of a barbarian suppresses anger and indignation, at the same time their antipodes die in him - delight and admiration. Thus, a person makes himself a mental invalid. “If you can't feel madness, you can't feel love.” Shri Rajeenish

And even if a good fairy appears who sends such a person to the Ball of Life; even if there, at the ball, he will be invited by the most beautiful and intelligent people on the planet... He will not experience anything special. Because with a poor emotional sphere, any event falling into this half-dead swamp will cause only a short surge of sensations. Quiet and dim. And again we will blame everything on “bad luck”.

However, it’s a sin to blame the training. They just fulfill the dream of the average person about Control over the senses.

I think many would be quite happy if emotions were sold bottled. Sort of like a home bar fridge. So that when your soul gets hungry, you can take it out, drink a glass and put it back. For example, once a week on Saturdays. Or once a year on vacation.

Probably, if there was a boutique selling feelings, it would be a great success. I can imagine a dialogue with a salesman in a similar store.

– Give me some Quiet Joy.
- Maybe you can take something else? Delight?
- No, it's too loud. Neighbors may call the police for noise.

– Delight, it will be inside you.
– What’s good about him?
- It overwhelms, captures...
– Captivating? Then I’ll call the police myself!
- Excuse me, but do you have True Love?
- Certainly!
– Isn’t this a dangerous emotion?
“It makes a person vulnerable.”
- Then don't. Give Easy Falling in Love and Low Sexual Attraction.

– Maybe Passion?
- Come on, I’m a decent woman!
- And give me the Feelings of the Celebration of Life. Oh, why do they shimmer so much? Is there any regulated holiday?

- This is not a holiday...
- It’s okay, it’ll do for me. Otherwise, you will get hooked on these Strong Emotions of yours, and God forbid, you will fall in love with Life. But when everything is not good, it’s not a pity to die...

I have been working in the emotional sphere for 20 years. In the first years, I had to literally collect knowledge about it bit by bit, look for literature and specialists. It took a long time before I was able to work with emotions without fear of causing harm. Naturally, it horrifies me when everyone, whoever they please, climbs into this subtle sphere, some with a sledgehammer, some with a hammer, some with a velvet noose.

Maybe that’s why a healthy, full-fledged emotional sphere, not crippled by relatives and society, is extremely rare? Maybe that’s why real, undistilled feelings are so rare: a taste for life, a taste for life, love, and happiness?..

Like everyone else, I have hard days and easy days. But always, when I go to work, instead of blood, champagne plays and boils in me. When I return, it’s different, depending on how the group I’m leading went. Sometimes there is a black hole in the chest. Sometimes fireworks.

But by the end of the week I have a living, fragrant bouquet of different impressions. In a month a greenhouse appears, in a year a huge garden appears. Imagine, I live in this garden! And all the flowers there are real. I evoke a memory and it comes to life, I can immerse myself in it, hear smells, sounds, taste.

I know what fear, melancholy, hatred are. But I also know what tenderness, jubilation, admiration are, and what it’s like to soar in the clouds, and what it’s like to die and be reborn in love...

There are flowers that I am ashamed to look at. Or it hurts. But I don't weed them out. After all, this is a precious emotional experience of my one and only life.

Leo Tolstoy believed that “all the diversity, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of shadow and light.” I am ready to sign these words in blood. And champagne!