Awesome toasts for the New Year. Cool New Year's toasts
To impress relatives, colleagues and friends gathered at the festive table with your eloquence and wit is worth a lot. You'll instantly earn status as the life of the party. But well-worn texts of congratulations and “bearded” jokes are not entirely suitable for this purpose. Better use the unique and latest funny and funny New Year's toasts that you will find in this article.
In this article:
Cool New Year toasts for friends
“Once Santa Claus made a snowman for himself and left him with a small snowball. “What else do you need to make, my friend? – asked Santa Claus. The snowman thought: he has arms, he has legs, he has a head, he even has a nose made of carrots. Then he said: “Make me happy!” But Santa Claus, who had seen a lot in his lifetime, knew that everyone has their own happiness and said: “There is snow on you, make your own happiness.” So, in the coming year, may we have the opportunity to mold our happiness the way each of us imagines it.”
“Even as a child, I realized that Father Frost and the Snow Maiden are amazing characters who do not get sick, do not age, and do not suffer from depression. And despite all the defaults, inflation and economic crises, they always have money for a bag of gifts. Therefore, instead of a sophisticated New Year's toast, I will say briefly and banally - may we live like this! For health, youth of soul and financial stability.”
“In Brazil, where there are many, many wild monkeys, there is a glorious tradition of seeing off the old year. On the eve of the holiday, residents of this country throw out of their windows all the things that they do not need or have become tired of over the past year. Of course, we are not wasteful Brazilians, but economical Russians. Therefore, I propose to throw out old grievances, bad thoughts, envy, ingratitude, and pride from your soul. And let’s raise our glasses so that the 2018 New Year will be lived no worse, but better than the previous one!”
“When we were children, our parents called us dreamers and maximalists. We have long since grown up into stern and boring adults. But today I propose to take a moment to plunge into that glorious time. And as the most avid maximalist and dreamer in our company, I propose to raise a toast to the fact that in the New Year all bottles will be endless, glasses will be bottomless, men will be generous, women will be supportive, bosses will be friendly, cars will be trouble-free, feelings will be sincere, and happiness is hopeless.”
They say friends are made in trouble. This happens because trouble comes to the house without warning and not every person is ready for a bad turn of events. Then friends come to the rescue. But I’ll tell you a secret, it’s not difficult to come to the aid of people in trouble, but it’s difficult to stay with friends in joy. The human factor leads us to the point that we can empathize with trouble, because it does not concern us. But remaining a friend and looking at someone else’s happiness is difficult, especially when your own life is a little worse. I wish you to find friends who will stay with you regardless of the situation. Even at the happiest moment of your life, let people’s envy bypass you, and only pure-hearted people remain nearby! May they be faithful in sorrow and in joy, just like the symbol of 2018!
“Every December, like in childhood, we dream of more snow falling. The weather does not always cooperate with us - lately, more and more often we have to pick up a rake rather than a shovel. But today I want to wish you that in the coming year, each of you will put aside as unnecessary the old rake, which you periodically step on (and some of us even dance on them non-stop), and pick up a big, big shovel, which It will not be snow that will be rowing, but money. For prosperity!
Funny New Year's toasts with family
“Dear family, I congratulate you on the New Year of the Dog. I hope that this devoted animal will reward us with love for our neighbor, the ability to defend our interests and fighting spirit. I wish you dog devotion, puppy tenderness, love and a sweet bone under every tree!”
“Dear household members, I congratulate you on the New Year! And let everyone, on this magical night, receive what they miss most: the generosity of Father Frost, the cheerful disposition of Santa Claus, the slimness of the Snow Maiden, the hard work and diligence of the elves, the softness and fluffiness of the Snowman. And the best gift will be the wisdom of reindeer, who in any situation find food, shelter and quite decent living conditions!”
“Once upon a time, his students came to the sage and asked, looking at the horseshoe suspended above the entrance: “Teacher, do you really believe that some piece of iron can bring good luck?” To which the sage replied: “Personally, I don’t believe in it, but it brings good luck whether I believe in it or not.” I suggest you drink to good luck. If we suddenly lose faith in her in the New Year, let her still believe that she must come to our house!”
“I read the recommendations of a famous astrologer here. He writes that those who celebrate the Year of the Dog in the family circle will be accompanied by success, luck and happiness throughout the New Year. I'm not an astrologer, but I also have something to say. Those who have the opportunity to celebrate the year not only of the Dog, but also of the Rabbit, Ox, Dragon, etc. surrounded by loved ones and relatives - they are already the most successful, lucky and happy. For our family! "
“The New Year plays on contrasts. When there is frost, snowfall and impenetrable darkness outside, the houses are warm and cheerful, the lights of decorated Christmas trees sparkle, and the festive table is set. I would like to raise a glass to the fact that in the coming year, no matter what storms rage outside the window, we will always be cozy and bright. Here’s to good weather in the house!”
“Patience and work once made a man out of a monkey. Much later, a saying began to circulate among people that patience and work will grind everything down. But today, on New Year's Eve, I want to paraphrase these historical facts and proverbs and say this. Patience and work are what we love our mothers and fathers for, because even when we grow up, they sometimes have to endure no less from us than when we were still little monkeys. Being a parent is real work. Here’s to you, dear mom and dad!”
Dear friends! We have gathered with you at an almost round table, almost on an even New Year's date, almost at midnight, with an almost even number of people! So let everything in our lives be not “almost”, but very holistic! Let this word never sound in our lives and let life never give us half-hearted positive impressions, but only full and large ones!
Funny toasts for the New Year's corporate party
“Dear colleagues, I congratulate you on the upcoming Year of the Dog. The Rooster is leaving us, whose boasting and boasting brought problems and unforeseen expenses. The Dog has other priorities: a bushy tail flaunts in the place for adventures, strong teeth for protection from misfortunes, and a sweet bone is buried under every tree. Let's drink so that we can have it all. And may the Earth Dog fulfill your wishes!”
“So, colleagues, the New Year is coming. I wish you sparkling happiness, like a glass of champagne; bonuses - how many months in a year; plans like Napoleon's; success and achievements, like stars in the sky; lifestyle, like Santa Claus - always cheerful, has money for gifts, in a beautiful fur coat, on personal transport and with a wonderful companion.”
“We all learned in school how, in time immemorial and unsullied by civilization, labor turned a monkey into a man. And today, as the year of this animal passes, let’s raise our glasses to ensure that we remain human, and that even after the end of the New Year holidays, not one of us turns back into a monkey. For a sense of proportion!
“It so happened that we work together and have already become one big family. We are united by one goal - the success of our company; everyone makes an important contribution to the achievement of each of us. But despite the fact that we are all small cogs of one big, well-coordinated mechanism, each of us remains an individual with our own interests, aspirations and cockroaches in our heads. I would like to raise a glass to the fact that in the New Year, nothing is impossible for us together and for each individual. May our dreams and desires come true, and may those that have already come true be desired again!”
Once upon a time there lived three men, one had a faithful wife, and he was happy with this situation. The second did not have a wife, but he had a mistress and was also pleased with his fate. But the third had both a wife and a mistress, but the sadness did not leave his face. Every day he listened to scandal after scandal, either from his wife or from his mistress, and he had no peace! In the Year of the Dog, I wish you to determine for yourself exactly which path you have chosen in this life and find your peace! And that only joy awaited you along this path!
Nelly Karchevskaya (Isaeva)
A toast said with soul, filled with sincerity and good wishes, or sharply, with humor, is worthy of thunderous applause. Agree, the ability to speak short speeches (toasts) is not given to everyone. But you can learn this, especially since there is still plenty of time for preparation and rehearsals. Toasts for the New Year 2018 are special toasts. On the eve of a magical holiday, we all become a little kinder and more attentive to each other. We so want to express the whole gamut of our feelings on New Year’s Eve, and no matter how toasts for the New Year 2018 will help to do this beautifully and heartfeltly.
Toasts for the New Year 2018 can be pronounced in poetry or prose, the main thing is that they come from the heart and are felt by those to whom they were addressed. There is a joke: the main thing is that you want to drink a toast, and not get drunk. Our toasts for the New Year 2018 are aimed at making each of us feel comfortable and at ease on this New Year's Eve, like a wizard who firmly believes that everything he says will definitely come true. You just need to speak, looking straight into the eyes of the one or those in whose honor your toast is being made, and under no circumstances read it from the sheet, otherwise that magical connection, the thin thread connecting the past and the future, will be interrupted, and the moment will be gone forever.
So that when you raise a glass of champagne sparkling with cheerful lights, you don’t come up with warm words and good wishes on the fly, wanting in a fit of feelings to say a lot at once, thereby turning a short toast into a long speech filled with emotions, we have already thought up and written toasts for you for the New Year 2018. Choose those that will please your heart and reflect what you would like to say or wish to your family and friends, friends or colleagues. Perhaps, after reading our toasts, creativity will awaken in you, and you will come up with your own toasts for the New Year 2018. In the meantime, you can use ours.
***
First toast: “To the old year!”
Let him go without any hassle
Let him take with him
A heap of all sorts of worries!
May he leave us good luck,
And health to boot,
Joy, happiness and luck,
Let him leave in good spirits!
***
Let's pour the glasses fuller,
To make it more joyful
From what is coming to us
The very best New Year!
So as not to upset him,
We'll go out to meet him.
But first we drink to the bottom
Each one has its own glass of wine.
***
Let's shoot sparkling champagne into the air:
Cute, sincere, hooligan-like!
2017 is obscenely
It was unpredictable, but great.
Then the Cockerel pecked us where he should,
He rewarded suffering with victories,
It lifted us up just before dawn,
It was difficult what to say to him.
But it’s still a sin to be offended by him:
He and I have learned to fight well.
For a place in the sun, a salary increase,
For happiness, luck and good mood.
And that's great, so bye
Let's drink to Cockerel!
***
Who's that banging his tail?
What kind of happiness creeps into the house?
This is a yellow, dear Dog,
He turns his nose up!
Drives the Rooster away
Yes, away from sin,
So as not to be weird anymore,
The pack didn’t start fights.
Need a drink? No problem!
Here's to you, our dear Dog!
***
What should we drink to?
For loyalty and friendship -
For everything we definitely need!
The dog comes into its own
And this toast will definitely suit her heart!
For this she will give us success,
Surprises, discoveries, life without interference,
Without quarrels, troubles and without sadness.
So let's drink to what was said at the beginning!
***
For the health of loved ones and relatives
We are filling the glasses now.
We can't do without them,
With them, life became even more beautiful.
Year of the Dog, New Year 2018,
May it make them smile more often!
***
The Cockerel goes enchantingly and beautifully into the distance,
A playful dog rushes to visit,
We'll be fine with him!
He won't let you get bored
He will guard our house,
All the sorrows and worries
He will bark to drive you away!
In anticipation of future exciting events,
Perhaps we should have a little drink!
***
Kindness, love and affection
They will rule for a whole year,
Because it's the Year of the Dog
He will come to us very soon.
On a snowy road
He rushes tirelessly towards us,
Let's not languish in anticipation
We pour one hundred grams!
***
How often do we hear: “I’m tired as a dog,”
Or that the “dog cold” has arrived,
Delight is popularly called "puppy"
And sometimes someone is “as angry as a dog.”
2018 makes its own amendments
With respect to the Yellow Dog
Requests to be treated.
And puts it on everyone’s face, without exception:
The dog will not forgive us for slander!
So let's drink to purity and kindness,
For devotion, love and beauty,
For the affection and warmth that heals our souls,
For the New Year, for the holiday and for the meeting!
***
New Year 2018
May God grant us to smile with happiness
From the highs of high, wonderful moments
From all sorts of wonderful coincidences!
And let our life be just like in a fairy tale,
And we will seal this together with champagne!
***
Good Friend Dog
He's coming to visit us,
Joy and good luck
He leads.
Devotion and fidelity
Happiness and comfort
Joy and health
Let them live with us!
Let the dog bark
Drives away trouble.
Let's drink to all the good things
Next year!
***
Dogs are known to be biters.
Only from life, from a dog’s life!
Our Dog is not at all dangerous,
We will make her life simply wonderful!
Let him hurry to our house with good things,
And we will close our glasses to health!
***
Let's drink champagne for
So that prices don't bite,
For happiness and goodness
The house was protected all year.
Let the Dog Mascot
It helps with this
And like a faithful, good friend
Saves you from adversity!
Of course, toasts for the New Year 2018, pronounced in verse, sound more solemn, but there is a moment when the soul demands not poetry, but prose. That prose that seems to sound like poetry for everyone, but seems to apply to everyone individually. For example, something like this.
***
Friends, let's congratulate each other on the upcoming New Year 2018 - the Year of the Yellow Dog! May it be filled with goodness and warmth, constancy and happiness, health and prosperity. So let's drink to the fact that from this moment all wishes will come true, and good luck will follow us on our heels, like a faithful dog, all year long!
***
Magic moments, good beginnings, family happiness, love, health and joy - all this and much more is in store for us as a gift from the Dog. But in order to win her favor and trust, we ourselves will have to make efforts. Let's fill our glasses so that all our efforts will be crowned with success, and the Mistress of the Year will always feel good and cozy with us!
***
The Old Year is passing... Let it take with it last year's problems and all unresolved matters. Let the farewell “Ku-ka-re-ku!” the past will end, and the present and future will be announced with a loud, baying bark! Let's drink to a noisy and good start to the New Year 2018!
***
Let's believe that the Year of the Dog will help us understand ourselves and recognize true, loyal friends. Let's drink to the fact that in the coming year we will have only sincere, kind fellow travelers next to us. For devotion, friendship, loyalty and selflessness!
***
Let's raise our glasses filled with light wine so that with the advent of the New Year, what we dream about will come into the lives of each of us! May the Year of the Dog please us with new successes, new achievements, new interesting meetings. Let only close and dear people and our time-tested friends remain old in the New Year! Here’s to your dreams, good luck and to you, my dear people!
And one more thing: we would all like to sincerely wish that toasts for the New Year 2018 make your holiday unforgettable and please your loved ones and guests.
Happy New Year!
Larisa Shuftaykina
(1
ratings, average: 5,00
out of 5)
A festive feast is a necessity for any event. It doesn’t matter at all what kind of company has gathered: many guests or a romantic dinner for two. And the New Year's feast is a very warm, family atmosphere, jokes, laughter, interesting stories. And of course, festive toasts. Even if you have a table without alcohol, the Russian people serve toast with compote or mineral water.
Toasts are especially important among relatives. With these short quatrains or just prose, you wish your loved ones health, good luck, love and all the best. Everyone takes turns with a glass of champagne, thanks their parents, instructs their children, confesses their love to their significant other, and jokes with their friends.
We have selected some toasts for you that you will soon be able to use during your holiday feast.
The Year of the Rat is coming.
And the Rat, my friends, -
Signifies growth in wealth
Strengthening the family.
So, let's drink to the family!
Do you want me to pour you some?
You can't help but drink to your family,
Give me your glass!
Let love reign in her
And stirs your blood
And don’t let your blood be spoiled
Children, mother-in-law and mother-in-law.
The house will become a full cup,
Everything you need will be in it,
So that there is happiness today,
And not sometime later.
May everyone be healthy
And they bloom in all their glory,
To be in all aspects
Only on the light strip.
- New Year is a complete contradiction. It's cold outside, but at our table it's warm and cozy. Let's drink today to the fact that no matter how cold it is for us on our life's path, no matter what adversity we encounter, may a warm dinner, faithful spouses, healthy children await us at home, and may there always be a holiday in our souls!
- Today I wish all of you that today's New Year's Eve will be like a train leaving the station. Let all the failures and sorrows remain here on the platform, and you and I will jump on the train and go towards the happiest life!
Toasts for your significant other
You can celebrate the New Year not only in a large company, but also alone with your loved one. In this case, toast will also be appropriate. And it doesn’t matter how long ago you met: this year, or together for several years - a New Year’s toast, spoken from the bottom of your heart, will be very helpful.
. 
Together with you we forge our happiness!
And we put our hearts into the flame of life!
You're right, my beloved, dare and take risks!
And with me, forge a new happiness!
- In the East they believe that true harmony is Yin and Yang. Today I want to drink to my Yin, who does everything to make my life harmonious.
- When a person is in love, a flame burns in his heart. And the stronger the feelings, the brighter and hotter the fire. Today I want to drink so that throughout the next year we will love each other so that the fire in our hearts does not go out!
- In the New Year, I want you to cry more often, but only from happiness. So that you moan often, but only from pleasure. And so that you run more often, but only to me! I love you!
Toasts for colleagues and boss
If you are celebrating a New Year's corporate party, then you have a host who gives the floor to everyone present. If the company is small, you simply make toasts as desired.
And so that you have something to say to your colleagues, be sure to read several of the options we offer. Perhaps few people will listen to you anymore, but you can’t lose face!
- There is a legend that when the ancient gods created the earth, they erected a statue, which they called Opportunity. The statue had the appearance of a man who stood on his tiptoes, as if symbolizing a constant striving higher. Man had wings, which meant that opportunities give us a chance to fly. The statue's long hair was a symbol of well-being, that is, the result of opportunities. The statue's body was bruised and scratched, a loss in the pursuit of opportunity. Let's drink to the fact that we always have opportunities and never miss them!
- Friends! Look at your glasses. What does it consist of? Yes, from the stem and bowl. What are we made of? That's right, from body and soul - from support and spiritual cup. Let's drink today so that in the New Year our supports will be strong and our cups will always be filled with enthusiasm!
Let's drink to brilliant successes,
For a friendly and united team,
So that we don't get nuts,
For a huge influx of money!
Over the weekend, minimum sick leave,
For the prospects for the coming year,
Let everything be new and unusual,
And let a miracle happen to everyone!
Colleagues, let me tell you a New Year’s tale...
One day the Fox wanders through the forest and sees the Hare:
Hare, what are you doing?
I'm writing a dissertation...
On the topic “Eating Foxes by Hares in Natural Conditions.”
What?! Never like this!
Let's do an experiment? Let's go into the bushes!
The Hare returns alone... The Wolf appears in the clearing:
Hare, what are you doing here?
I'm writing a dissertation...
On the topic “Eating Wolves by Hares in Natural Conditions.”
The story with the bushes repeated itself. Then the Bear came, and everything was the same. And then the Lion comes out of those very bushes, strokes the Bunny and writes him a bonus. The moral is this: it doesn’t matter what your job is called, the main thing is that the manager can always cover you! For our leaders!
New Year's Eve in the company of friends is always noisy and fun. Alcohol flows like a river, glasses are raised often, which means you need to prepare a lot of toasts. We will help you quickly find the right words!
Happy New Year,
And today I wish you
So that this year
Tears were not in use
So that friends appreciate
And the family loved
More often awards were given
So that diseases do not attack.
That's the point. And we'll be alive
We'll get the rest
By acquaintance or by connections,
Thank you for the salary.
Don't be sad, keep your nose up!
Well, let's drink to make it come true.
- I would like to wish everyone here present in the New Year to become climbers. And we conquered the most important peaks in life. Let love be the first such height. She will give us strength for new achievements. The second height is Friendship. From above, you will see that you have friends and it will be even easier to move on. The third one will conquer the Vocation - behind this peak there will be smooth roads to the fulfillment of dreams and success. And the fourth peak will be Well-Being - the desired result and reward for all efforts. And the fifth peak - Happiness - once you climb there, you will see all the previous peaks. Here's to Happiness in the New Year!
- May everyone become Pilots in the New Year. So that even a streak of adversity and failure will be a takeoff for you. So that you have a reliable co-pilot as your assistant. And so that there is always enough fuel to return home!
Funny toasts for the New Year 2020
I want to make this New Year’s toast to...!
I wish you to live for 140 years!
May you die at 140 years old!
Nat, don't die - so they kill you!
And so that you are not killed, but stabbed to death!
And so that they kill not for nothing, but out of jealousy!
And so that there is something to be jealous of!
- My dears, let's become a little kinder this New Year's Eve and raise our glasses... to our enemies! Let them live on the shores of a warm sea, drive the fastest cars, walk on handmade carpets, let their pools be lined with diamonds, and let their mistresses be the Miss World of recent years! Last century.
Toasts about the Rat
The coming 2020 is the year of the Rat. This means toasts should be dedicated to her too. Pour champagne into glasses and choose a suitable toast!
- Friends! Let's raise our glasses to ensure that in the new year we don't put a "rat" on anyone and don't cheat anywhere. Let's promise each other that today we won't get drunk like rats! Happy New Year!
- We say goodbye to the old year 2018 and let our “dog’s life” go with it. And in the year of the Rat, I wish you to swim in money like a pig in mud! Happy New Year!
The New Year of the Rat has arrived,
Everyone was waiting for this date,
Everyone was preparing, trying,
They are now gathered at the table.
And at a solemn moment
Let's give the rat a compliment:
Let her be satisfied, well-fed,
Clean, white and washed!
Let him always run sweetly,
May you live abundantly!
And fortune always awaits -
Happiness - ladies, gentlemen!
The best New Year's toast
New Year is not just outside the doors,
He has already entered our house.
We've been waiting for him for so long -
He came and sat down at the table.
Raise your glasses
And welcome the New Year.
What do we wish today?
That's what he'll bring to us.
Toast for the New Year
Olivier mode again,
Tangerines on the table.
We're decorating the tree again,
We are saying goodbye to the old year!
Under the irony of fate,
We raise a toast.
For the coming new year,
What is standing at the gate!
New Year's greeting toast
I want to congratulate you on the New Year,
And raise this foamy glass,
For the bad things left in the Old,
We just need to take the light one.
May your accomplishments be successful,
And the face sparkles with a smile,
No worries, no worries, no doubts
Don't let them eat your porch.
I drink to the bottom, not counting the bubbles,
I don't advise you to count them,
I don’t know what you have in mind,
But I hope your dreams match yours!
New Year's toast
Let's drink to Santa Claus so that he comes to us
cheerful, but sober and would not drink our gifts along the way.
New Year's toast
Possible from Monday
possible from Saturday
We will start a new life
Happy New Year!
Let it go the same way
how we will meet him.
Festive champagne
we'll celebrate it!
Put down the glasses
pour more full!
The best holiday
general fun!
New Year's toast
A girl in first grade tells her friends.
- Girls, Santa Claus turns out to be greedy. He doesn't want to
give a gift, but put a toy under the tree that mom
hid it in the closet.
Let's drink to the generous Santa Clauses and to their
financial opportunities.
A toast to the New Year holidays
Look at the calendar
You will see January there
If you still haven’t found it
You didn't come to your senses
So you're celebrating for a long time
You celebrate the holidays early
But today there is a reason
Get up and have a drink and sit down
New Year's toast
Let's drink to Santa Claus always having a beard,
table - vodka. So that we are cheerful and while sober we sit at
table Well, what happens next... Here's to the New Year!
Toast New Year
Today is such a day, it is full of running around, cooking, nerves, duty calls and smiles, films that you know by heart and stars that are staring at you from all channels at once. This is why I want to say a toast to the magic of the new year, because as soon as the clock starts striking 12, you forget all the troubles of this day and the past year, and begin to sincerely have fun.
New Year's toast
Forget all doubts -
Happy New Year!
Desires come true
and happy troubles!
Let's raise our glasses,
because the holiday is coming to us
Twelve... five... so little...
AND HERE IS THE NEW YEAR!
New Year's toast
This New Year's toast, I would like to start on a sad note, and say goodbye to my liver for a while and say that I will miss it! But the Russian people have never been afraid of hardships and are used to getting by for an hour, without the most necessary things! Therefore, I will end the toast on a cheerful note and say, Happy New Year to you, comrades!
Merry toast for the new year
And in luxurious apartments and in modest closets
Santa Claus puts gifts under the tree
And the main thing is that the little ones don’t know,
That such a miracle only happens in books.
Or maybe today everything will be serious,
And dad will believe that he is Santa Claus,
Just have a drink with this wizard,
And all wishes and toasts will come true.
New Year's toast
Let's have a drink on New Year's Eve
For those who do not take bribes,
Under their modest Christmas tree,
There are only needles lying
The boat is sailing. A Chukchi sits at the stern, smoking a pipe. His wife is on the oars, rowing against the wind. “It’s good for her,” the Chukchi thinks, “row and row.” But I need to think about how to live further.”
Let's drink to our life being easy and joyful in the New Year!
Brezhnev in his Kremlin. There is a knock on the door. He goes to the door, takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads:
- Who's there?
There is silence outside the door. He reads again:
- Who's there?
Again no one answers, but you can hear someone snoring outside the door. Brezhnev opens the door and sees the head of government Tikhonov there.
- Why aren’t you responding? - he asks him.
- I forgot the piece of paper at home!
I forgot too! I wrote a speech on paper to celebrate the New Year and forgot it at home. What can you do - sclerosis! I don’t remember what was in my piece of paper, but at the end, I remember, it was suggested that I have a drink. Let's drink to the New Year!
A little girl tells her friends:
– And Santa Claus, it turns out, is greedy!
They are surprised:
- Why do you think so?
- Because he, instead of bringing his gift, put a doll under the tree that mom hid in the closet.
Let's drink to the New Year generously bestowing us with good gifts!
There is a meeting of the amateur fishermen's society. Chairman speaks:
– New Year is approaching. How much vodka will we take? The year before last we took one bottle per brother - we lost our fishing rods, last year we took two - we lost the bus. What do you offer?
One fisherman comes out:
“I suggest taking three this year, but don’t take fishing rods and don’t get off the bus.” Let's drink to a successful New Year's Eve!
Two friends met. We sat down and drank:
- Because we have a roof over our heads!
We drank.
- For friendship! We drank.
- For a great mood! We drank.
- For health!
At this time, a snake crawls out and bites one of the friends. The second one knows that the bite of this snake is fatal and in 12 hours the friend will die. He laid it on the ground and waited for the allotted time to pass.
After 12 hours, he wanted to bury his friend’s body, but he suddenly opened his eyes and smiled. They went to look for the snake and found it dead.
So let's drink, friends, so that in the new year fate will protect us from various misfortunes!
On New Year's Day, children gathered under the tree and danced in a circle. Father Frost and Snow Maiden arrive:
- Hello guys! What are we missing at the holiday? Let's ask the Christmas tree to light up! One-two-three, Christmas tree, burn!
The Christmas tree is not burning. Try again:
- Come on, Christmas tree, light up!
Nothing again. Then one kid takes out a cell phone, dials a number and says:
- Dad, there are problems here again. The Christmas tree is not burning.
Let's drink to the fact that in the new year all problems will be resolved easily!
Two friends came for fishing. They lit a fire, put a pot on the fire, and threw out fishing rods. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a fish inspector appeared. One of the fishermen, without thinking twice, jumps up and begins to run away. The fish inspector is confused: whether to stay with the other, or run after the first. The hunting instinct took over - he rushed after the fleeing man. They run through bushes, lawns, and make their way through windbreaks. They've been running for half an hour. Both were already exhausted. Finally, the fish inspector caught up with the guy.
– Show your fishing license! - he says out of breath.
The guy, as if nothing had happened, takes papers out of his pocket.
“What a goat you are,” says the fish inspector, “why did you run away when your license is in perfect order?!”
“This is my exercise before fishing,” says the guy. -Who made you run after me?
“Yes, you did a great job on me,” says the fish inspector. - Well, let's go back.
The guy looks at his watch and says:
– There’s no one there anymore. My friend just left by train.
- Why? You have a license.
– I really have. But he doesn’t.
May we and our friends have all the necessary documents in order in the new year!
Let's raise our glasses so that seeing off the old year will be different from seeing off a train at the station: the departing train takes away friends and loved ones, and the outgoing year will bring them to us. Let's drink to ensure that it will always be like this!
The Snow Maiden says to Santa Claus, having slept through the New Year:
– Do you remember what happened yesterday?
– We came to the children for the Christmas tree. You were already drunk, and when you drank some more, you started doing a striptease.
“But I couldn’t understand why my panties were full of candy?”
Here's to a happy New Year!
May you have many new friends in the new year, a new high-paying job, a new car, a new country villa in which you can sit, as of old, in our old circle of friends and spend the old year!
A mother asks her adult daughter:
– What do you expect from the New Year?
– I don’t really know myself. I want something. Either some seeds or get married!
Let's drink to everyone having everything in the New Year! And even seeds!
One person had moths in his apartment and began to multiply at an alarming rate. He turned to a specialized store with a request to give him something against moths. They offered him mothballs. The visitor bought a box and went home. The next day he came to this store and asked to sell him one hundred boxes of mothballs.
- Why do you need so much? - they asked him.
“And I throw these balls at her, but I don’t always hit them.”
Let's drink to the fact that in the New Year we will always hit the target!
Stock exchange on New Year's Eve. There are three brokers in the room. Two people are running around like crazy, talking on two phones at the same time: “Take it! Sell! Bring it to three! Give me five and pass! The third broker looks out the window and says dreamily:
– New Year is approaching, snow is falling.
His colleagues are silent for a second, trying to comprehend what was said, then one exclaims:
- So sell quickly, since it’s falling! For the New Year, which cannot be sold or bought!
