The competition asks questions from the audience in KVN. A sweet couple from KVN revealed the secrets of family life to KP

I don’t really understand why you should look for ready-made questions and answers on the Internet. After all, your rivals also have the Internet. But since you've been looking for it, keep it

Question: I announce a competition for Olga Buzova's doubles. Does anybody want?
Answer: All the same, Alexander Peskov will win. This man parodied Pugacheva, Allegrova, Varum. It’s just not clear why Alexander Peskov doesn’t parody the Blue Berets group?

Question: Scientists have unearthed ancient rock paintings, which, when deciphered, turned out to be posters for Alla Pugacheva’s concerts. What do you read on the walls?
Answer: Let's look at the posters in our city - either Mirage is coming, or Vadim Kazachenko. At this rate, spent nuclear fuel will soon be delivered to us.

Warm-up question: What to do if Putin comes to visit you?
Answer: If Putin is coming to visit you, do not wash the dishes and do not hide your socks under the sofa. Putin will come and restore order!

Question: Does anyone know the name of at least one lead singer of the Shpilki group?
Answer: Is Alla Pugacheva not the lead singer of the Shpilki group? No? Wow. The circle is narrowing.

Question: What hit was popular in 1917?
Answer:“Lenin, take the telegraph!”

Question: My parents bought two pianos. For what?
Answer: Play online

Question: Why is caviar red?
Answer: Fish rubs when walking

Question: How to distinguish a real KVN player from a fake one?
Answer: A real KVN player turns to the wall after sex and rehearses.

Question: You have all heard about the Guinness Book of Records - a collection of world achievements of mankind.
In Russia they decided to create a similar Book, but with typically Russian records. For example:
A doctor who wrote legibly on an outpatient card.
A man who renovated a house and hung wallpaper behind the closet.
A woman who doesn't want a fur coat.
What can you offer for the Russian book of records?
Answer: But most of all we like this record: Roman Abramovich’s official salary is 1,200 rubles.
Another possible answer: But it’s not just people who end up there. For example: On a Sochi beach, a dolphin saved a man by dissuading him from buying a cheburek.

Question: This year is rich in victories and records. What do you remember most?
Answer: Elena Isimbaeva went to a competition in Luxembourg and jumped over it.

Question: I will sell the guitar or exchange it for a hammer drill. Who gave this ad?
Answer: The one who is tired of hammering holes in the wall with a guitar.

Well, as a bonus, an unanswered question: Who is stronger: Pinocchio or drill?

In the end, I would like to say: before warming up, try to come up with a backup answer to these questions. What if your opponents also read this page? Read how to prepare for warm-up. What to do during warm-up at the game - see. Good luck to you in KVN!

Lenya proposed very romantically, right on the KVN stage at one of the performances... Now the newlyweds are happily married, live in Moscow, and are actively pursuing a career in the television industry.

How it all began

I fell in love with Katya, clearly not in the image of that crazy “teacher” with which many associate her. For the first time I noticed her as a girl during one of the training camps. She was so touching, sweet, tired, without makeup, in a simple T-shirt and red pants. At that time, I was dating another girl, but when I realized that I had truly fallen in love with Ekaterina, I, of course, ended the old relationship,” says the satisfied husband. “Then I started making advances towards Katya, and after a while she gave up.

KVN is not a hindrance to romance

Despite the fact that we are both comedians, we know how to be gentle. For example, Lenya often gives me flowers for nothing. And the very way he proposed to me speaks volumes. It was so unexpected that I didn’t even burst into tears right away, although it was a very touching moment,” recalls Katya. – He loves to feed me delicious food. One day I returned from a rehearsal very late, I came home, tired and hungry... And there my beloved husband was waiting for me with my no less favorite Philadelphia rolls. And there were flowers and candles on the table... Of course, it was incredibly nice.

The husband is on a “diet”, and the wife eats for two

My wife is a girl from the Caucasus, so she has an excellent appetite! And most importantly, nothing is postponed anywhere,” Leonid smiles. “Now I’m trying to watch my figure, I eat a little less, but she doesn’t, she eats for two,” the KVN attendant continues to joke.

“I can eat at any time of the day, I’m lucky by nature with my figure,” Katya confirms his words. “And I help my husband, I can “steal” something from his portion, I take care of him,” Utmelidze laughs.

We have patriarchy

I am the main one in the family, I decide all the main issues. Although sometimes I act wisely and let Katya think that she made an important decision herself,” says Lenya.

I don't even try to fight for leadership. For what? We have even more equality, my husband always listens to me,” Ekaterina rejoices.

We root for the same team

Katya and I have a favorite in the Major League season - SOYUZ. They are our friends, the guys have grown significantly as comedians over the past few years and have become more experienced. Moreover, this is the last season for them. It would be great if the guys won. We were also impressed by DUL'S. If the “detectives” win, we will be happy too,” shares Leonid.

In the semi-finals they amazed me and drove me into “hysterics,” says Katya. – And off stage, these are sincere good guys, I wish them good luck.

"Lawyer" and "Seamstress"

Utmelidze is now actively participating in the comic project of the TNT channel “

Summer is the time for weddings. And the kaveens at these weddings are often not only the hosts and guests, but also the most important characters. We remember the Kaveen weddings of the past few months (spring-summer 2014) and congratulate the newlyweds.

Surely everyone remembers how Leonid Morgunov 1 from “Parapaparam” proposed at a concert at the last Jurmala festival Ekaterina Utmelidze 2 from "The City of Pyatigorsk". At the end of this July, the couple got married and received the comic surname Morgunidze.
Captain of the team from MGIMO Ivana Abramova 3“ringed” not so long ago Elvira Gismatullina 4(“7 hills”) And another new KVN television family was created Evgeniy Perov 5(he also played for “Parapaparam”, and experts may remember him, for example, from the “Cooperative” team, which once played in TsLMiP) and Karina Kalimullina 6 from the "Obschaga" team.

On June 14th we tied the knot Andrey Vorobiev 7, who played for the teams “Spring”, “Sitcom” and the National Team without a fixed place of residence, and Tatyana Kalashnikova 8, also from “Sitcom” and “Common Cause”. Let us remind you that “Spring” played in the 2008 and 2009 TsLMiP seasons, “Common Cause” under the name “Efficient Society” reached the finals of MSL 2010, “Sitcom” became the champion of MSL in 2011. The team without a fixed place of residence got into the TsLMiP 2012, and ended its career quite recently - at the Festival of the League Structure of Moscow and the Moscow Region this year.

On August 9, another “Common Cause” player exchanged rings Alexey Kharitonov 9 and his companion Anastasia.

A little earlier, on August 8, she got married Marina Smirnova 10 from the “Shizgara” team, which competed in the TsLMiP 2011. Parted with bachelor life and
Marina's namesake Alexey Smirnov 11 from the Vladimir City Team - last year's champion of the Central Laboratory of Medical Sciences.

At the end of June Anna and Alexander Kulikovy 12. Sasha may be remembered by many for his roles in “Resort” and the Internet Team (TsLMiP in the early 2010s). Their example was followed Artem Kirsanov 13 from the MISiS team, for which Artem played in the TsLMiP at the end of the 2013 season, and his companion Maria.

On August 16, two weddings that mattered to us took place at once. At the first, the main characters were Alena Onilova 14, who worked for a very long time as the administrator of the Central Clinical Hospital, and Dmitry (Mitya) Serebrennikov 15, who has conquered the heights of Moscow KVN for no less a long time, starting with MSL2 2008 and has now reached the Premier League final twice. And at the second wedding they honored Radika Sayetgarayeva 16, who has his hand on the pulse of the site kvner.ru, and his beloved Olga (Parapaparam fan).

Who else got married? Oleg Klinkov from the Broadway team. Maxim Grechnev 17 from the Phystech team. Vladimir Illarionov- editor of the league "MITHT - Troparevo-Nikulino". Vladimir Porubaev 18 from “Sportivnaya Station” (by the way, first place in the 2005 MSL Small Cup!). And also played in a team called “Journal Faculty” (MSL 2010) Kirill Semiletov, now editor and presenter of UKVN - KVN League of Moscow State University. M.V. Lomonosov. His chosen one Maria Panfilova She also once played in the MSL for the team of the Law Faculty of Moscow State University.

We also congratulate those who settled down in the breaks between service and the games of the league of law enforcement agencies “Rise”, - Mikhail Glukhikh And Irina Pestretsova (Agandeeva)(“Reaching the Stars”, Omsk), Margarita Karpikova 19(“New personnel”, Orel) and Maxim Kozhaeva(“Calm”, Team of the Ministry of Internal Affairs for Chuvashia).

And that is not all! The wedding took place on September 5 Pavel Markov 20(twice champion of TsLMiP as part of the FAS and Phystech team teams) and Evgenia Stepantsova 21(“Speaks and shows”, Physics and Technology team).

All newlyweds - sad! Long and happy years of marriage and mutual understanding! Well, we wish the rest not to lag behind and also finally mature for
take a responsible step... or find your soulmate.

Ps. And also congratulations Alexey Mishukov(Vladimir city team) and Oleg Kumaritov(Director of the League “Rise”) with an addition to the family. Be patient and...get enough sleep!

KVN competition “Warm-up” - questions and answers

Warm-up is considered a very difficult competition. After all, it is in him that resourcefulness is manifested, the ability to find a funny answer, an interesting play on words in just thirty seconds. Warm-ups are usually played by two or three people in a team, the most fun players who know how to find non-standard answers. Therefore, there is no point in going out with the whole team. Of course, during rehearsals it is necessary to “lose” this competition: compose questions and give answers to them. The funniest jokes are selected to warm up for the game.
Below are possible questions and answers that can be used in school games.

Questions and answers of the competition

What will happen if students start learning with pleasure?
Teachers will meet them halfway and extend this pleasure for another year!

What happens if the buffet runs out of coffee?
This is to be expected! He was getting weaker with us every day!

What happens if the cross-country course goes through the director's office?
Full finish, where instead of the finishing ribbon there will be a dad's belt!

What will happen if crocodile cutlets are brought to school?
All students will unite into a party to protect crocodiles, and the biggest-eared one will be chosen as chairman!

What will happen if the school makes sanded railings for the Cheburashkas?
Only your ears will reach the first floor!

What is the difference on the beach between a Chukchi and a black man?
Chukchi - cold smoked, and Negro - hot!

Two nails on the beach finally fell into the water...
This is how the Georgian surname “Zarzhavelli” was born!

What to do if the telegram has not reached you?
Read her text again!

What happens if you encounter an iceberg while traveling?
Offer to go with us, like Kulman, Whatman and Rabinovich!

The good doctor Aibolit choked on sausage...
A doctor's version of the origin of sausage!

They caught the Malchishi-Kibalchishi Bourgeois and said....
Options: - Yes, Stirlitz has never been so close to failure!
- “Stay, Tolsty, on a jar of jam and a box of cookies!”

They say that you meet people on the beach by their clothes....
...But they still swim on water!

What happens if you are wearing water skis on the beach?
Options: I urgently need water poles!
It's better to be put on than to be undressed!

What happens if swimmers find no water in the pool during a swim?
The swim will smoothly turn into a race!

How is a swim different from a race?
The degree of “wetness”!

What will happen if the mayor of the city gives us all trips to Sochi?
We will be happy, shake his hand and... wake up!

What happens if water gets into your ear?
I'll gently ask her to get out of there!

What is this: A buoy sits on a buoy and moves the buoy?
This is the Buikov family of rescuers at work!

Why is it easier to evade pursuit on the Zaporozhets?
This is the only car that loves to walk!

Why does a wolf have such sharp teeth?
So that the hares do not forget why they need such fast legs!

It's very fashionable to work out your physique these days...
The main thing is to stop in time so that it does not become “body subtraction”!
“All the pills are eaten... silence in the refrigerator...”
...A difficult political situation has developed in the Kremlin!