Daria Dontsova: “I survived to help others survive…. Daria Dontsova: “They don’t pull a rope to the Lord God

A very life-affirming interview with Daria Dontsova, who in 13 years wrote 130 novels with a total circulation of 130 million (!) copies.

Our conversation with Daria began with her phrase: “Did you want to hear something smart from the blonde? In vain! We didn't believe her and we were right. Her knowledge of life, logic, iron will and sense of humor made us believe that Daria controls her thoughts as well as her hands and feet.

OUR PSYCHOLOGY: Do you love yourself?

DARIA DONTSOVA: Yes, of course!

NP: What are you afraid of?

DD: Almost nothing.

NP: What is your method of dealing with stress?

I don’t experience stress at all, so I don’t have any special methods for dealing with it.

NP: Have you ever had depression?

DD: No, no and no. I generally think that there is none. Depression is a serious clinical diagnosis. When a person lies on the sofa, looks at the wall, does not eat, does not drink, refuses to get up, his hands are shaking, he feels sick, he has diarrhea - these are clinical signs of real depression. And if you don’t feel like going to work, then it’s laziness, not depression.

NP: What is happiness for you?

DD: A very global question. This is probably when my family is happy.

NP: Three things you respect most in a person?

DD: Hard work, honesty and the ability to not give up.

NP: Three things you hate most?

DD: There are no such things. If I accept a person, then I understand that he, like me, has shortcomings. If you don't like a person, don't be friends with him. There is no need for hatred here.

NP: Do you often lie?

DD: Constantly.

NP: Can love bring suffering?

DD: Well, probably yes. Although this is not my life experience.

NP: Once upon a time you had a very unusual name, Agrippina. The fact that you changed it to Daria is just a tribute to your writing activity - you took a pseudonym - or were there other reasons?

DD: Agrippina looked very bad on the cover of the book. It's a long, heavy name. Probably, if I had remained Agrippina, then everyone would definitely have thought that this was a pseudonym. On the other hand, at one time I collected all sorts of “misunderstandings” about my name: my names were Antarctida Arkadyevna, Grechka Arkadyevna, Argentina Arkadyevna. Therefore, when the question arose about publishing books, and it arose when the publishing house already had twelve manuscripts, it became clear that it was necessary to find some shorter and more convenient name. I always liked Daria, and the heroine of the first books, Daria. This is where Daria came from on the cover.

NP: There is an opinion that when a person changes his name, his fate also changes. Is this true in your case?

DD: There is also an opinion that black cats bring bad luck, and if you meet a priest on the street, then you need to grab the keys. I wouldn’t rely too much on current opinions, because for every one folk wisdom there are fifty folk stupidities. No way, nothing has changed! Just as I had my beloved husband when I was Agrippina, so I still had him when I became Daria. According to my husband’s science, personality does not change: just as I couldn’t kick a stray dog ​​in a cheap shoe, I can’t kick it now in a Louboutin boot. Yes, the boot has changed, but the personality does not change. Other opportunities appeared in connection with writer's fees, but not like that.

NP: Many people feel unhappy and believe that happiness will come on its own when a loved one appears, an apartment, a new job, etc. How to learn to experience this feeling in existing circumstances? Do you agree that this can be learned?

DD: There is a little secret: thoughts can be controlled like hands and feet. Thoughts are material. When the thought comes into your head that “I’m so unhappy, I’m so terrible,” you need to say “stop” to yourself at that moment. But it’s as difficult as not eating the third cake in bed in the evening. When you need to do something right away, for example, go on a diet, a person becomes somehow uncomfortable. It all depends on willpower. We must, on the one hand, learn to tell ourselves “stop”, and on the other hand, when this starts - “I’m poor, unhappy, I feel bad, I haven’t succeeded in anything!”, you need to look where it’s worse. Then you begin to understand that you are a very joyful happy person, and at the same time you must keep in mind that all the faces in the glossy magazines that you look at - Hollywood artists, our stars - they also have problems. And probably the most unfortunate person in this world is the Queen of England, who, with all her position, money and intelligence, obviously works very hard and hard. Therefore, be glad that the fate of the state does not depend on you, and live happily.

NP: Some people like to complain all the time, having everything, while others are happy, having little. Some overcome difficulties, others give up. What is this connected with? Is it only with willpower?

DD: This is a big psychological problem. A huge amount of scientific literature has been written on this topic, and many psychotherapists to whom a person has been going for years cannot teach him to be happy.

NP: Why?

DD: Because being unhappy is very comfortable. It’s like in childhood: a child picks at a sore on his knee, it seems to hurt, but it feels good. Let’s say I’m a happy woman, everything is fine with me, everything is great with me, but I want to cry over something. I am an ambassador for the Together Against Breast Cancer program. So, many women, when they say they want to get better, don’t really want it. Because she has an inattentive husband, children who no longer need their mother, not very good work colleagues and a small salary. And suddenly she gets sick. And everyone feels ashamed: the husband begins to carry some broken tulip, the mother-in-law cooks soup, the children buy the parent some chocolates, work colleagues also stop slandering her and begin to feel sorry for her. She finds herself the center of attention, and the thought suddenly appears in this woman’s head: “I want to keep this.” No, she tells everyone that she intends to get better. But in fact, there, inside himself, he really wants to remain an object of care. And he dies. A huge problem in oncology associated with the characteristics of the female psyche. Therefore, if you get sick, be honest with yourself, don’t revel in the disease.

NP: Then must I say that being happy is difficult?

DD: Nothing comes without difficulty. Without effort, you will not get a beautiful figure, a good husband, well-mannered children, a kind mother-in-law and a loving mother.

NP: When difficulties arise, how do you deal with them?

DD: Difficulties in life happen every day. For thirty years, as a cook for an academician of psychology, I learned a brilliant phrase from him - “Let’s define what complexity is!” What is complexity? For one, this is getting up after a very serious illness, missing two legs, learning to walk on prosthetics. For others, it’s difficult to deal with torn tights.

NP: It’s difficult for some to start a family, for others it’s difficult to find a job...

DD: It's not complexity, it's life. Starting a family is elementary, you need to find a person who you think can be your life partner. Where to find? Look around, it is likely that at work at the fifth battery there is a poorly dressed man with a dirty head, who, in fact, if in good hands, will become a wonderful husband. First you need to decide what you want. I recently read a woman’s statement about divorce, it began beautifully: “My husband is impotent.” Two paragraphs later it said: “He’s a womanizer.” There is no such thing as an impotent womanizer. If you want a house in Nice, your own yacht, a plane, then be prepared for the fact that you will never have a husband at home. Romantic dinners, walks together with a stroller, trips to see friends - it’s all over. Most likely, you will travel with security to obligatory, high-status parties alone, and you will see your husband once a month, he will earn money. But if you want romance, if you want your spouse to be home at six in the evening and fry potatoes with you, then marry a high school teacher, but then you won’t have a lot of money. But you don't have to want everything at once. It doesn't happen like that! By the way, my husband is being brought up.

NP: Many people want a finished product; now there are many marriages where the husband is a wealthy man 20-30 years older than his wife. What do you think about it?

DD: I know such happy marriages, I know such unhappy marriages. It all depends on the woman. If she is stupid, then the marriage will not work, if she is smart, then the marriage will turn out wonderful and age does not play any role.

NP: Do you think that in marriage everything depends on the woman?

DD: A lot depends on the woman. You often hear: “My husband is an alcoholic!” So don't live with him! "I have no choice!" There is always a way out, but it’s not a fact that you will like it. When I start asking, “Why are you living with this alcoholic?” - they answer me: “We have an apartment!” And you spit, take your bag, leave this apartment to him, go to another city, rent a room there. “Ahhhh... leave the apartment, what are you talking about!” Is it about the apartment or the husband? If you delve into this situation, then very often the husband fades into the background. Every wife is worthy of her husband, every husband is worthy of his wife.

NP: Can we say that not every woman who says she wants marriage and a family really wants it? Maybe she really wants something else? An apartment, for example.

DD: Women in our society are pushed to get married by different situations. Firstly, public opinion, which has changed little over the years, despite all the perestroikas and shootouts. I go to France quite often; there, you know, it’s not customary to give birth before the age of 35. First a career, some kind of self-affirmation, only then marriage, family and children. In our country, if a woman has not given birth before the age of 24, then this is simply some kind of disaster. Medicine is now quite well developed; up to the age of 45 there are no problems with having a child. If you don’t have a husband, this doesn’t mean that you are worse than others and that you are somehow inferior. Finding a husband is very easy, the question is whether you need him or whether your mother wants a wedding.

NP: Someone says that you shouldn’t accumulate irritation and negative feelings within yourself, you definitely need to give them a way out, but others cannot do this. What do you do?

DD: You know, I am categorically against rudeness. If you have a good upbringing, then you will listen to your boss, even if he is wrong, you will not shout in his face and stomp your feet. You can say correctly what you think. If a person is rude to you, move away, you can later find a way to put him in his place. And feelings are when you come up to your husband, stroke his head and bring him a cup of broth at three in the morning because he came home angry from work and you are trying to calm him down. And yelling at your husband in three-story Russian for drinking a bottle of beer is rudeness and bad manners. The way you react is a moment of self-education. You have to think about what will happen next, what will happen after you do this.

NP: Daria, you can be called a very wealthy woman, you move in the appropriate circle. What can you say about people who became rich, as you put it, during the period of “perestroika/shootout”?

DD: Maybe now rich people have become somehow more visible because of magazines and the Internet. But rich people also existed in the USSR. I come from a family of a writer and an actress, so I can name the writer’s fees of those years. The average fee for my father’s book was 15,000 rubles, despite the fact that the average salary in the country was 80 rubles. The percentage of fools all over the world is the same. You see, there are as many fools in Russia as there are in France. And the word “nouveau riche” - translated as “new rich” - came to us from France. There are nouveau riche in France, in America, and here. Poorly educated people who suddenly become rich are not an exclusively Russian thing. But there is another aspect that journalists do not like to write about. I know a huge number of rich people who do not show off their wealth in any way, are philanthropists, and help low-income people. And also, to be rich, you need to work a lot, hard and hard. It is not true that wealth falls from the sky and that only moral monsters receive it. If your neighbor bought a luxury jeep, and you walk to work, this indicates only one thing: he managed to succeed, but you did not. Don’t envy, don’t be angry, don’t repeat the phrase: “Only swindlers live well here,” it’s better to spend your energy on achieving your own well-being.

NP: Do you often have to sacrifice anything for the sake of family or work?

DD: I can’t say that there were any special victims. I just get up at 6 am and manage to write what I was supposed to write until about 3-4 pm. You understand, the time when I had to put overalls on my child and take him to kindergarten is gone forever. And the husband, over many years of marriage, discovered his own way to the refrigerator. We have a board hanging on it, on which it is written with a marker what is there: soup, main course.

NP: Daria, how many years have you been married to your husband?

DD: Since '83, that's 28 years.

NP: What is the secret of such a strong union?

DD: Before that, two husbands ran away from me. I trained with my first two husbands, so I’ve been living with my third for 28 years.

NP: Does the fact that he is a psychologist help you in any way?

DD: You know, my husband is not a psychologist at home. Often my girlfriends and acquaintances run to him with their problems, and then he starts working in his specialty, but not with me. I am the psychologist in our couple.

NP: How do you feel about psychologists in general?

DD: It varies. Psychology is just a profession, and not everyone in this profession is smart, perfect and knowledgeable, not everyone wants to develop. I know very smart, encyclopedically erudite psychologists who sincerely love this science and are sincerely committed to seeing this science develop forward. My husband is always greeted by students with applause at lectures. But how he prepares for them is something to be seen. No two lectures are the same. Psychologists are very different! A good girlfriend sometimes works even better, because the therapist has no right to tell his patient: “Leave your alcoholic husband!” He must structure the conversation in such a way that the patient makes the decision himself, and then it will be correct for him. This is on the one hand. On the other hand, you still need to find a good psychotherapist. I am very much against the situation when a person enrolls in a three-month course, quickly picks up some tests, and now he is a specialist. Such a would-be professional can do you a lot of harm. We must also not forget that psychotherapy is one of the most expensive pleasures and you can go to a psychotherapist for years. In my opinion, you should always keep one simple thing in your head: there is no pill that you swallow and you will be young, cheerful, beautiful, active, smart. There is no such pill, you will have to work to become like this, no one will do it for you. I can go to my friend's house and wash her floors, but can I have dinner for her?

NP: In your opinion, the common statement that “a leftist strengthens a marriage” is folk wisdom or, as you put it, “folk stupidity”?

DD: Well, it really strengthens him, because the man is polygamous. And love, again according to my husband’s science, lasts three to four years, then some hormonal shifts occur and this love develops into some other sensations. Either you become good friends and understand that you are one team, or it all ends, the husband and wife begin to annoy each other, and then, of course, you have to run in different directions. If a husband looked at some woman, he liked her and something happened to them one time, then there is nothing terrible about it. As a rule, a woman will never even know about this in her life if she has a smart husband. One of my friends has a husband, a very wealthy man, who every time he goes to the left, comes home - and every time he has a fur coat hanging over his shoulder. He experiences a deep sense of guilt before his wife, stands on the threshold with a leopard coat and says: “Honey, I accidentally bought it for you!” Darling grins, hangs the 152nd fur coat in the closet, strokes his head and says: “Oh, what a beauty! How you spoil me." She loves her husband very much and understands that he needs this zigzag to the left solely for self-affirmation. A normal man, if nothing has gone wrong in his head, runs into someone else’s bed and realizes in the morning that his wife is better.

NP: Have there been any missed opportunities in your life?

DD: I believe that you should never regret anything. What you have done is almost impossible to change, and there is no point in regretting it. But I also know that everything bad that happens to you turns out to be good.

NP: Do you agree with the statement that fools learn from their own mistakes, and smart people learn from those of others?

DD: Stepping on a rubber-handled rake is a sport for many people. You can never learn from other people's mistakes! And then what is considered an error? There are two ways out of any situation, but keep in mind that you may not like them! There are no hopeless situations!

NP: It happens that even when people have found two ways out, fear prevents them from taking a step. What to do in such cases?

DD: If a person cannot commit some action, he can only sit in his swamp and watch those who commit these actions. Everyone has what they deserve, it can't be the other way around.

NP: What can pleasantly surprise you?

DD: A bunch of things. Recently, a lot of electronic toys were downloaded to my iPad, and now with great happiness in traffic jams I am busy hitting pigs with birds, looking for various hidden things, and making menus for restaurants. In general, I feel just great.

NP: Many parents consider this a harmful pastime. What is the use of them?

DD: I'm resting! It washes your brain very well, especially when you are sitting in a hairdresser or stuck in a traffic jam. When a child just plays and does nothing else, this is probably, on the one hand, bad, but on the other hand, such people later become professional computer scientists. I was struck by the story of a boy from a remote province whose mother bought a laptop. This loser eventually made a certain program and sent it either to Apple or somewhere else. They grabbed the brilliant child by the head, took him to America with his mother, and now the former poor student is a student at a prestigious university and a beloved employee of the company. It seems to me that a person should do what he likes. Each of us has what we can do best. Remember Dante? Who's in the last circle of hell? The creator who did not create!

NP: What do you believe in?

DD: I believe in the boomerang law: if you do something nasty to someone, it will definitely come back to you. White attracts white, black attracts black. If a person always says: “There are only scoundrels, scoundrels, scoundrels all around!” - then I know that he himself is the same.

NP: Is there anything you would like to change about yourself?

DD: No, what can you change about me? Clever beauty. I don’t want to change anything about myself, everything about me is beautiful. I am terribly pleased with myself in all respects.

NP: What advice do you give to people who want to change something about themselves?

DD: Understand why you want to change it. If you think that a larger bust size will change a woman’s personal destiny, this is not true, because you can have the most beautiful breasts in the world and be very unhappy. But if this is not enough for you to be happy, collect money and get lice implants. Make sure that, in general, this was not necessary, and move on with your life in complete peace. It seems to me that you just need to understand that you are unique, there is no other like you. The genetic set that you received was not given to any other person. You are the only one in the whole world, be proud of it!

BIOGRAPHY
1952 - born on June 7 in Moscow, in the family of the famous Soviet writer Arkady Vasilyev and the chief director of Mosconcert Tamara Novatskaya.
1974 - graduated from the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University. M. V. Lomonosov.
1974-1977 - worked as a translator at the Consulate General of the USSR in Aleppo (Syria).
1978 - began cooperation with the newspaper “Evening Moscow”.
1983 - married a teacher at the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University. M. V. Lomonosov Alexander Ivanovich Dontsov.
1986 - daughter Maria was born.
1998 - a serious diagnosis was made - stage IV breast cancer. I wrote my first book in the oncology intensive care unit to take my mind off the disease.
1999 - the first book, “Cool Heirs,” was published. Agrippina Dontsova takes the literary pseudonym Daria Dontsova.
2001 - for the first time becomes a laureate of the Writer of the Year award. Starts hosting his own radio program.
2003 - On March 5, a star was laid in honor of Daria Dontsova on the literary Square of Stars in Moscow.
2004-2007 - receives a large number of various literary awards and prizes, such as “Bestseller of the Year”, “Author of the Year”, “Book of the Year”, “Name of the Year”, Book Oscar. Daria Dontsova's works are translated and published in the countries of the former USSR, the Baltic states, Western Europe, and China.
2008 - becomes the ambassador of the Avon charity program “Together against breast cancer” in Russia.
2009 - The 100th book, “The Legend of the Three Monkeys,” is published. She is included in the Russian Book of Records as the most prolific author of detective novels (100 detective stories in 10 years).
2010 - starred naked in the social project “Protect what is dear to you”, aimed at supporting the world’s first vaccine against cervical cancer.
2011 - recognized for the tenth time as the most published writer in Russia. The total circulation of Daria Dontsova's works exceeds 130 million copies.

The novels of Daria Dontsova (Agrippina Arkadyevna Dontsova) are divided into five cycles, the main characters of which are similar to the author.

Dasha Vasilyeva - a wealthy woman, lives in the holiday village of Lozhkino with her family and animals, is friends with police colonel Alexander Degtyarev. Has two children - son Arkady and daughter Masha. In the past, Dasha was married several times, worked as a French teacher at a Moscow university, received a modest salary, and lived with her family in a small apartment in Medvedkovo, on the outskirts of Moscow. This character is closest to the author. Daria's main hobby is pets. Her heroine has many cats and dogs in her house, one of them is the pug Huchik.

The heroine of another series, Evlampia Romanova , in the past - Efrosinya Romanova, a late child and long-awaited daughter of a Soviet general-scientist and opera singer, graduated from the conservatory in the harp class, was married once, changed her name after a divorce and learned to cook deliciously. Lampa opened her own detective agency, where she works as a private detective and is friends with police major Vladimir Kostin. According to the story, I received: the cat Semiramis and the cat Klaus, pugs Ada, Mulya, Plusha, Fenya, Kapu and two other dogs - the Staffordshire terrier Rachel and the mongrel Ramik, hamsters Kesha, Petya, Leonardo and the toad Gertrude.

Ivan Podushkin - the son of a Soviet writer, works as a secretary for the private detective Eleanor. A polite person with high moral principles. He has a slender figure and tall stature. Smart, intelligent, educated. A little indecisive. Quite a nice mature man. Trusting and can be deceived. Contains an elderly mother of 60-65 years old, who considers herself a young and beautiful woman of 35 years old. Nicoletta is a little unbalanced; screaming for her is a bodily need. Podushkin is an avid bachelor. He has no luck with women. Some people think poor Ivan Pavlovich is gay, but that's not true.

Tatyana Sergeeva has nothing to do with the writer. The dark-haired owner of a full figure, intelligent and well-read, graduated from the philological faculty of a pedagogical university, a widow (in the recent past), worked as a teacher of Russian language and literature. She is married to former actor Aristarkh Babulkin (nicknamed Gris), who is an employee of the secret group in which Tanya works.

Viola Tarakanova I inherited from the writer knowledge of the German language. The heroine was married to Major Oleg Kuprin, an investigator from Petrovka, 38, but divorced, worked as a German language tutor, writes detective stories under the pseudonym Arina Violova. Vilka is not indifferent to animals; the cat Cleopatra, the cat Son and the dog Dyushka live in her apartment.

EXPERT OPINION Yulia Vasilkina, psychologist, sociologist
BEING UNHAPPY IS COMFORTABLE
Everyone knows this feeling, but not everyone is ready to admit it. We are all susceptible to this “comfort” to a greater or lesser extent. There is no harm in sometimes being tired, sick, or hurting for a while next to a loved one. Especially one who, caring about you, will bring a cup of broth and say “they are all fools, and you are the best of all.” Having received the necessary acceptance, we will perk up and be ready for new achievements. True, it is important that a loved one shows us attention and care not only when we feel bad.

The danger to the psychological integrity of the individual occurs when “being unhappy” carries a powerful secondary benefit. Secondary gain is some value (love, acceptance, attention, respect, maintaining a relationship, sometimes material wealth) that is achieved through negative symptoms. Maybe the child could be healthier, but then his parents will divorce. Maybe it would be necessary to expose the cheating husband and stop suffering from jealousy, but then you will have to give up the illusion of love and not being alone. When during a consultation you pull out a secondary benefit like an ace out of your sleeve, the client is immensely surprised. Now the decision is his: to leave everything as it is or to find a way to achieve the same value, but in a different way, by abandoning neurotic experiences and illnesses. And this requires hard work, honesty and the ability not to give up, which Daria Dontsova so values ​​in people.

EXPERT OPINION Alexander Dontsov,
Doctor of Psychology, Professor of the Faculty of Psychology of Lomonosov Moscow State University, Academician of the Russian Academy of Education
LADY OF FORTUNE
People often ask: “Is it easy to live with a star?” I answer: “Yes!” Firstly, I love her, respect her and am afraid of her, and therefore I will not contradict her in household chores. Secondly, late in the evening, when we are alone, there is no strength or desire left to sort things out. Thirdly, as you know, the first 25 years of marriage are difficult, but we have crossed this line. Fourthly, in our couple, she really is the psychologist. Fifthly, my wife is my most faithful friend. These are just the first “five reasons” for our family well-being. And I, henpecked, of course, will not disturb it with a harsh academic analysis of the philosophy of life that my wife shared with the magazine. I testify that this “philosophy” has fully justified itself in our destiny. In short, there are three main principles in it. Original - optimism, love of life, unshakable faith in goodness. Then - iron self-discipline. Over 13 years - 130 novels with a total circulation of 130 million (!) copies, each of them a “pill for depression” that saved someone from despondency. The third principle is openness to people, the desire and ability to share someone’s grief and joy. We are all capable of compassion; few people succeed in rejoicing in the successes of others. The wife has this gift in full.
Daria Dontsova is a vivid example of the fact that the wheel of fortune is under the control of a Woman. Maybe we men will someday learn to manage it.

The famous Russian writer Daria Dontsova closely monitors her diet. After all, everyone wants not to get sick, not to get fat, and to live longer. In addition, Daria is an excellent example of how you can not give up even in the face of the most terrible disease and even find strength in it for new achievements.

- What did you experience at the moment when you learned the terrible diagnosis of breast cancer?

Well, first of all, the diagnosis is not terrible. It's just a diagnosis. I really don’t like it when journalists immediately automatically attach to oncology... they put on such a carriage: terrible, terrible, incurable, nightmare. No, it's just a disease. It's just a disease. And in this world there are much more and more terrible diseases than oncology. These are diseases that have no cure at all. From them, if a person gets sick, he will certainly die. Fortunately, this is not the case with oncology. What emotions did you experience? The saddest ones. Honestly...honestly. Nothing good. No one ever experiences any pleasant emotions when they learn that they have cancer.
You know, I was such a smart girl, I was so smart that no one should repeat my experience. Everything would hurt for me for probably six months. You should go to the doctor if you're in pain! But I’m a former Soviet girl. So I decided: well, maybe I’ll go later.

“Oncology, stage four. You have two months left to live.” I’m sitting there, thinking: this is a joke, right? How is it that I have two months left to live, so beautiful?

Well, I had a really bad chest pain on the left side. I was sick and sick. You know, the bust has grown. I, a girl with a minus first size, suddenly had such a beautiful, chic bust. I, fool, was delighted at my incredible beauty. And my friend, a surgeon, and my husband and I went on vacation to Tunisia. And my friend and I ended up in the same locker room. Well, we are changing clothes - she looked at me (she is an operating surgeon), her face changed so much, she said: “What is this?” I say: “Imagine, my bust grew at the age of 45!” And she said: “We’ll immediately return to Moscow on the next plane.” Well, how do we “return to Moscow”? We have children, we paid for the trip. I stayed there for another ten days. I arrived in Moscow and went to the doctor. The doctor looked at me and said: “Well, what can I say? Oncology, stage four. You have two months left to live." I'm sitting there thinking: this is a joke, right? How is it that I have two months left to live, so beautiful? This simply cannot happen to me at all. This was not a very pleasant situation.

I left this doctor covered in tears and snot. I didn’t cry in his office. But when I left there... The sun is shining, the weather is good. I look: people are walking. I think: fathers, I’m going to die in two months. In general, somehow it doesn’t fit in my head. And I started crying. So, I cried with such force - you know, I can’t even explain to you. I got on the bus to go home. And the bus stops at the “Oncological Hospital” stop. And then there was also the conductor... so somehow it was necessary to punch it with such a punch. And you had to buy tickets from the driver. I'm rummaging around and can't find it. He looks at me and says: “I’ll take you like this.” He understood: I was crying, the cancer hospital, something was wrong with me. My God, it was some kind of horror.

I got home, sat down in our kindergarten not far from the house, and just, you know, I’m just in complete tears. I think: where to go, where to go? Then my brain fell into place a little. I think: well, I have three children; okay, the boys are big, they are 20; and my daughter is 12. It’s very bad. I have a mother and mother-in-law. I loved them very much. They were very harmful. Who will need my harmful old women, right? And my husband, in general, is young, he is not fifty - a doctor of sciences, a professor. Will he live alone for long? No question - some graduate student will pick it up. And what will happen then to my children, my three dogs, my cat, my two old women? How will this woman treat them? I felt scared.

And then I remembered that I have a friend Oksana, with whom we went to Tunisia, my closest friend. She has three dogs, her son is my daughter Masha’s closest friend. Oksana is a wonderful woman: she cooks, washes, cleans and is not married. I rushed towards her. I arrived and said: “Stepanich, you must marry Alexander Ivanovich.” We must pay tribute to Oksana. She looked at me like that and said: “Oh, I agree. Just let’s discuss why first.” And she dragged me into her kitchen. Well, then, of course, I told her everything, the whole truth. She answered me that the doctor I saw—then those words are now forbidden to be uttered on television, but everyone understands what she told me: that this is not how a diagnosis is made, that you need to go to a normal specialist.

I didn't tell you the most interesting thing. Having told me that I had two months to live, the doctor told me that I could take the risk and have an operation. But it will cost me: so much for him, so much for the anesthesiologist, so much for the nurse. He gave me the calculation. But we didn’t have much money then, and somehow we weren’t very rich. She told me: “Let’s go to my doctor Igor Groshev. I worked with him." And she sent me to the 62nd city hospital. There was already another conversation. There was a young doctor there, with whom I am now very close friends, working on a regular basis (three operations a day), who told me that the situation, yes, is actually difficult, but we can somehow somehow manage fight her. “Let's get treatment,” he told me.

I suddenly remembered these curtains. And I think: I’ll die - they’ll take off my curtains. And this was the final decision to go for surgery.

And somehow, you know... somehow I perked up. But what finally inspired me to do this treatment was the curtains. You know, before they told me the diagnosis, I sewed new curtains myself and hung them. And everyone scolded me: my husband, my children, my mother and mother-in-law. “It’s dark, we need to take it off and hang up the others!” I was stubborn: “My curtains are expensive - I will never take them off!” Do you understand me, right? And at some point, when it was very bad, I thought: maybe I shouldn’t have the operation; well, I have so little time left to live; why bother? Yes? I suddenly remembered these curtains. And I think: I’ll die - they’ll take off my curtains. And this was the final decision to go for surgery. I understand that it's funny. But nonetheless.

- It was in the hospital that you started writing. How did your illness lead you to this activity?

Oh, you know, this is actually a very difficult question for me. Because I always answer all questions very honestly: how much do I weigh, what do I eat, how many teeth do I have, how many implants - please. I don't have a stopper. I'll tell you everything. But regarding books... First of all, I don't know where they come from. Don't ask me about this. I do not know myself. And with the books that turned out first... I settled in the intensive care ward. I've had several surgeries. Usually people stay there for two or three days and go to another ward. And I lived there. Because they operated on me, then they took me away for another operation, they brought me back again, and again they took me away for surgery. Somehow they didn’t take me away... they didn’t take me away.

And resuscitation is non-sexual. You, like men and women, lie mixed together naked, all of them, that is, on tubes. One fine day, two grandfathers were with me. And these grandfathers began to talk through me: we are going to die, we feel so bad. And then I firmly decided that I would not die. “We feel so bad, everything hurts!” I got angry and said: “Grandfathers, don’t you want to shut up?” One of them says to me: “You better shut up! I have oncology!” I say: “Hello! And I’m here with acne, which means I’m lying down. I have the same thing as you. And look at me in general. I'm covered in scars. Shut up, for God's sake." No! They whined and moaned.

Oncology is actually luck, it is your chance to change your life. Why is a person given cancer? Oncology - it is given to him so that a person has time to change in his life.

And I was so tired of it, just half to death. I complained to my husband this morning. And in the evening he brings me this little book “The Twelve Labors of Hercules,” a stack of paper and a pen. I don’t know how I got permission - nothing is allowed in the intensive care unit. And he told me: “You wanted to write books.” But I don’t remember at all that I wanted to write books. I was a journalist. “Write!” He handed me his pen and left. And you know: night; These nasty grandfathers finally fell asleep. They were injected with something to keep them quiet. And that means I’m half-sitting in this bed and thinking: hmm, how do people write books? I'm a journalist. There is a topic - I’m writing. But there is no topic - how will I write? And suddenly, you know, from somewhere above (I understand, it sounds very funny) a phrase falls: you got married four times and happily each time. Oops! All. This is how I wrote it - I can’t stop for the 18th year in a row. All. Don't ask where. It feels like the gates were opened, and somehow it started pouring out like that.

- So oncology is not a death sentence?

No. Speaking absolutely seriously. Oncology is actually luck, it is your chance to change your life. Why is a person given cancer? Oncology - it is given to him so that a person has time to change in his life. Just imagine: a small child goes to an open hatch (it’s hot, with boiling water). It's coming. He doesn't realize there's a hot hatch ahead. And at that moment, some person runs up and throws him to the ground so that the child does not go further. The child hurts himself, he is in pain, he cries. Is it true? But he was saved from greater trouble: he did not fall into a pit of boiling water. Here is oncology - it knocks you down so that you don’t fall into this pit of boiling water: change, change, become different, become better, become kind, merciful, become a person who does not bring harm to others, try to change in some way.

I have enormous contact with cancer patients. I now have about thirty women on my phone who call me, who have undergone operations, they feel bad, they are scared. I talk to them, explain to them how to behave before or after the operation. People just come up on the street and I give them my phone number. When I start saying that we need to change, they usually ask me: how? I can't tell you how. Everyone finds the path themselves.

The trouble is that for many people illness becomes the main thing in their lives. They don’t have any such, maybe some interesting events. Suddenly he gets sick - he is the center of attention. Just imagine: a woman like this - Mary Ivanna - works in an accounting department in a small town, a small salary, two teenage children, a mother-in-law who doesn’t really love her, a husband who drinks. Yes? What was interesting in her life? In principle, no one needs her. Nobody loved her, didn’t particularly praise her, and didn’t pay her much money. Suddenly she gets sick with cancer. Kind colleagues seat her in the center of the room (she will catch a cold by the window). The boss leaves the room: “Masha, what a wonderful report she wrote!” The report is bad, as always, but he wants to support her. The children are scared that their mother is sick and start wearing three-piece suits. Husband - bah... didn't get drunk on Saturday! He feels sorry for his wife. And the mother-in-law bites her tongue, because suddenly the daughter-in-law dies - the son will bring another; It's unlikely that it will be better. What if he kicks this old woman out altogether? Do you understand, right? And this Masha receives a huge chunk of love and attention that she hasn’t had all her life. Why did she get it? Because of illness. Does she want to get better? No! This is the biggest problem in oncology. No matter how you treat her, she will not recover. She will tell everyone: I want to get better! She will take pills. And inside her subconscious will tell her: no, Masha, you don’t need this, because you will sit by the window again, your boss will scold you again, and your husband will drink on Saturdays again.

If a person has stage four - cancer with metastases - then I always explain that now there is such chemotherapy, such drugs that prolong life by years.

This is the biggest problem in oncology - to explain to a person what he really needs, he needs to get better. And the other extreme is when a person demands incredible attention from loved ones and those around him. This is also very bad. You have to live with the disease like you live with a dog. So you got up in the morning, fed the dog, walked it, then said: dear dog, you stayed at home, I went to work. We worked all day. When we returned, we thought about the dog. It's the same with illness. In the morning they got up, fed her pills, I don’t know... they whimpered in the bathroom: oh, my poor illness, my unfortunate one; how poor I am! They wiped the snot, got dressed, and went to work. They worked and were busy all day. We returned home: husband, children, mother there. Yes, in the evening we lay down, fed the disease dog some pills, stroked its head - oh, how poor and unhappy I am - and fell asleep. You need to compress the day so that the disease does not have time to stick its finger in between your activities.

- What do you say when women who are also sick call you?

First of all, I say that everything will be fine. This time. Secondly, I explain that oncology is treatable. That's two. Thirdly, if a person has stage four - cancer with metastases - then I always explain that now there is such chemotherapy, such drugs that prolong life by years. For a year. Recently, one drug was registered in Russia, which people who were sick and were monitored, there were clinical trials - stage four, oncology, breast cancer, metastases - people live for eight to nine years using this medicine. This is literally a breakthrough now in oncology. So please hold on, my dears. I explain that a person sends himself to the next world most often through despondency and some bad thoughts. All this needs to be driven away.

I know a woman who... she was simply no longer walking. But the cats picked her up. She was lying alone in bed at home. There were services going to her: both the volunteer service and the Red Cross. But at some point there was some kind of inconsistency. Someone went on vacation and they forgot. It happens. She couldn't get up. She was lying in bed, she could not move. That is, she was almost paralyzed for more than a year. And she has two cats. And the cats began to scream. The cats wanted to eat, the tray was full... The cats screamed for a day, then another. She was already prepared for death. She understood that no one would come. Well, they forgot about her. On the third day she felt sorry for the cats. She fell out of bed - rolled - and crawled into the kitchen.

That is, she crawled around this kitchen for several hours... around her small apartment. She went to sleep on the floor; she could not climb onto the bed. The next day she knelt down and walked. When a week later the Red Cross and a local police officer came to open the apartment, thinking that everything was bad, the “corpse” was briskly trying to wash something in the bathroom. She was taken to the hospital. What’s amazing is that she recovered. This is how the cats got on their feet. Do you understand what's going on? We need to find something to cling to.

What can I recommend? I can advise you not to go to oncology forums. My dreams are to close them. Because there are 90% of hysterical cliques who simply write lies. They just write lies. First, why do you need medical information about your illness? Do you even understand what Peyti resection is? Never in my life! So you don't need this. No need. Secondly, even if you receive some information, you will not be able to combine it, and you will have a mess in your head. Don’t believe the ladies who write that they had everything cut off, including their heads; and that's why they die. Well, they sit there for five or six years, and they haven’t died at all. And their heads were definitely cut off. Otherwise they wouldn't write this nonsense. At one time, one very large oncologist and I simply started checking. There, some women wrote that they were operated on in such and such a hospital, they did not get help, they were disfigured and all that. We checked them. It is not true. Patient records are stored for more than thirty years, and then sent to the general archive. None of these women who spoke about fears and horrors had ever been in this hospital. Do you understand what's going on?

I would like to tell our TV viewers about oncology. My dear, beloved! I really don't like the phrase “look at me.” I never say it. But in this case, look at me, please. I'm not the smartest, I'm not the most beautiful, I'm not the luckiest. I'm just like you all. And my body, as an anatomical organism, it works the same way as the body of Masha from St. Petersburg, Katya from Solikamsk, Vera from some small village. My liver works like your liver; my heart is like your heart. If I - not the smartest, not the most beautiful, not the luckiest - was raised from the fourth stage of oncology, what prevents you from recovering?

- What to do to find out about the disease in time?

You need to undergo a medical examination every six months to a year. I'm talking about breast cancer now. Every woman should definitely go to the doctor. Once upon a time, during the Soviet years, there were examination rooms. And we women hated these offices, because once a year the bosses obliged us to go to the gynecologist. God, we couldn't stand him. But how many cases of oncology were found in these offices! Therefore they played a very good role. But now we need to think about our health ourselves. Therefore, please, once every six months, once a year, depending on the situation in your family. There is no need to fall into cancerophobia. You just need to take a reasonable approach to your health. Fine. Once every six months we went to the doctor. Lose weight. That concerns oncology of female organs. Please keep in mind that many women have hormone-dependent tumors. Always keep yourself in shape. This is not about external beauty. This is about your health. Stop eating smoked, fried, fatty foods. Stop eating mayonnaise - it's not tasty at all. Stop eating ketchup and all sorts of different... you know, canned food is like that: canned food! Don't eat sprats. It has long been known that they are smoked with a substance that supposedly can cause certain cancers. Please be careful with everything you put in your mouth. Because food is not just a gobbled up pie. This is something that you put into your body, and then it wanders through your circulatory system, and you don’t know what it will bring to you. Therefore, please eat healthy. Play sports, please.

- So, nutrition is also important?

I have written a book. It's called "I really want to live." The book was written specifically to help cancer patients. It tells very honestly and frankly everything that happened to me during this illness, throughout the five years that I was treated. Unfortunately for me, this book has an incredible circulation. Another thing is that her royalties go to a charitable foundation. But it's not that. But the fact is that I, as a writer, should be happy, yes, with the increase in circulation. But no! So I really want my editor to tell me one fine day: that’s it, we’ve removed it; she will never go out again; everyone recovered. But unfortunately, no. On the other hand, humanity once died from plague, cholera, and leprosy. Yes, all these diseases are a thing of the past. Perhaps very soon oncology will become a thing of the past.

- And about nutrition. What do you eat that makes you attractive and always healthy?

More like what I don't eat. Let's turn the question around. I don’t eat sausage and all the sausage products that exist. I don't eat red meat. I don't eat meat at all. If I think of something meaty, it will most likely be chicken. And then the questions begin: where do I get the protein? Cottage cheese and nuts are ideal, so to speak, suppliers of protein. If I eat butter, I will eat no more than 15 grams of it per day - this is the physiological norm for a person. Sometimes people laugh at me when they find out that I count nuts. I, you know, like this? So you take the nuts and start eating. Everything is fine, they are very high in calories. So I count: two walnuts, eight cashews, a few pine nuts. I try not to overeat. I understand that I have bad genetics. I had a very fat father - my dad had several strokes. I honestly don't really want to turn into a pile. In my seventh decade, if I am fat, doughy, if I don’t exercise, and if I eat the cakes I adore with whipped cream, it won’t be very good for me. I don't eat after six in the evening, simply because it's hard for me to go to bed with a full stomach. In the morning you get up - you are a little pig: your eyes are slits. Do you understand, right?

- Which products do you consider the most correct?

I can only speak to myself. Broccoli, cauliflower - vegetables. For me it's all vegetables. For me, this is a fatty sea fish (cheap, by the way, mackerel). Beautiful, wonderful fish, worth two kopecks. Very good. Only not canned, but... alive - not smoked, not salted. Buy raw mackerel and bake it in the oven. Absolutely perfect thing.

Vegetables. Not everything is fruit. Well, in principle, I can probably eat any of them. I'm just a little careful with bananas there. I eat them before a fitness workout. Two bananas - and that means your energy is off the charts, you can push your weights. So. What else do I love? Cottage cheese, kefir, yogurt. My dairy products are of normal fat content, because I know very well that in order for low-fat products to have taste... You will not eat low-fat yogurt. It tastes disgusting, believe me. The manufacturer adds a lot of sugar to it. Sometimes they write: no sugar. Great! So there's a sweetener in there. It kills the liver. Eat sugar rather than sweetener. It will be more useful to you. What else? Dried fruits. Just don’t gobble up a kilogram of dried apricots, thinking that they are very healthy. It is also very high in calories actually. Dried fruits. Then what else do I have? Hercules porridge - I am a rare person who loves it. Now there is a post. I am deprived of my oatmeal porridge with milk - this is the most difficult test for me during Lent. More cheese.

- How do you feel about cabbage?

It’s important for me because absolutely all cabbages are recognized by oncologists as food that protects against cancer. Therefore, I also eat cabbage, realizing that it is good for me. And secondly, I just love her. I have it in very different forms. You can make a lot of very tasty salads and a lot of very tasty dishes from cabbage. Cabbage – yes, my favorite in general.

- Do you think it somehow affects your well-being, your skin, that you eat a lot of cabbage?

If you eat a lot of cabbage, get angry at others, never exercise, drink carbonated drinks - no amount of cabbage will help you. This must be some kind of conglomerate of measures. Yes? First of all, some kind of work on yourself. Most of all, anger, envy, and greed age a person. Now, if you get rid of these... At least try to trample these bad feelings in yourself, you will immediately understand that you look much better.

- What can you say about buckwheat?

I really love buckwheat: regular, normal buckwheat. We eat it with onions and mushrooms. Children and husband sometimes eat it with meat. Buckwheat - yes. I love it very much. We treat her very well. There are 10 products that oncologists around the world (not only Russian - American, French, German) - this is where they all come together. 10 products that are declared to protect us from cancer and help cancer patients overcome the disease. Buckwheat goes in there. If you came to see my suitcase when I’m going to France, I’m taking my friend, who, unfortunately, had problems with oncology, a whole suitcase of buckwheat.

- How do you feel about spices?

Everything is in progress at home. I make ginger tea very often: orange, lemon, a little green tea, a lot of grated ginger, honey - this is a very common recipe. I use ginger in all sorts of sauces that I make for pasta, for example. I make ginger oil: I infuse sunflower oil with grated ginger - it turns out very tasty.

- Which product is your favorite?

And I love everything, I’m generally a gluttonous girl. Complex issue.

- How do you feel about sweets?

Somehow I don't want to. Then the trainer will have to report on fitness. And he will make me run around the gym with a barbell for an extra two laps. How can I think about this! By the way, I had a very interesting moment. When I was being treated in oncology, I was on prednisone for five years. This is a medicine that just makes you gain weight from the air. When I gained seven kilograms, I realized that I needed to lower them back, and that’s when a new nutrition system arose. I remember very well how I stood in the store, I smelled these confectionery counters. She stood like this: ah-ah, how good it is! And once, it means I gave in, I thought: I’ll buy it, I’ll buy myself a cake. And that means I’m already being carried towards this counter. And suddenly an auntie drives up with such a cart. Auntie is like three hippopotamuses. And in this cart she has everything so fatty, salty, smoked. She drives up and says: “I’ll have ten of these cakes, ten of these, two cakes.” I looked at her and thought: I won’t eat the cake. And she left there.

After the article is published “Alexander Gomelsky: I know how to defeat cancer!” , in which the famous basketball coach told how he overcame his terrible illness, the editorial office received non-stop calls for two weeks. And those who are already doomed, and those who, despite doctors’ diagnoses, found the strength to defeat this “incurable infection”

Daria Dontsova speaks about her terrible illness without fear or embarrassment. Her battle with breast cancer ended in victory. All this happened back in the late 90s. Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery. When she read the material about Alexander Gomelsky, “I know how to beat cancer,” the writer herself called the editor.

This is a sore subject for me. And I am very grateful to Alexander Yakovlevich for finding the strength to talk about his illness. This is very important for those who are sick. There are a lot of us cancer patients. We are all soldiers of the same army and must help each other. If not physically, then at least mentally. People need to understand that cancer is not a death sentence. A cancer patient is not a leper. A person must live and fight. I know several ballerinas, several dramatic actresses who also received this diagnosis. But people are afraid to talk about their pain. You have to understand that cancer is not a shame. This is a challenge, and if you fought and won, then you are a hero. And if he managed to somehow help others, he is a doubly hero.

But both you and Gomelsky are famous people. It turns out that only wealthy people can fight the disease?

It is not true that treatment can only be done abroad. There is such an opportunity - great. No, you don’t have to give up, cover yourself with a blanket and die. When I was diagnosed, I was not yet a famous writer. My husband is a public sector psychologist, I am a translator from German. There was no special money in our family. I was operated on in a regular district hospital. An ordinary surgeon, not a professor, not a candidate. A man who stands at the operating table from morning to evening. And for some reason people leave him on their own feet. And I never tire of praying that the Lord will give health to Igor Anatolyevich Groshev, who, by performing three operations a day, saves the population of a small town from death within a year. They gave me chemotherapy for free, as well as radiation. It is not true that everything depends on money.

What should a person diagnosed with cancer do?

Grab the phone book and look for a doctor. Call everyone you know. And there will definitely be a doctor. If you're unlucky once, look for another. Doctors are different. In one place, they started talking to me about money from the doorway, and I realized that they were not going to cut me, but my wallet. And at the dispensary, after the operation, they completely buried me. I wasn’t monitored for a year, I didn’t prescribe free medications for myself, we could buy them ourselves instead of standing in line for six hours. And then the medicine disappeared from pharmacies. I'm back. An aunt sits there in felt slippers and says: shame on you, Dontsova died, and you want to get medicine for her! Showed me my passport. It turns out that if a person does not appear for a year, then a stamp is put on his card - “Dead”. I ask: what if the person recovered? And she, an oncologist, says to her face: “This doesn’t happen!” Imagine what will happen to an impressionable patient after such words?! So, don’t trust women in felt slippers. Believe me. Believe Gomelsky - it happens!

Without faith in recovery, nothing will happen?

If, upon hearing the diagnosis of “oncology”, you begin to cry, ask: “why”, “why me”, harass your husband, children, mother, fall into bed and say: I am terminally ill - you will die. A young woman came into the room where I was lying. 36 years. She sadly sat down on the bed and said: “I raised my son, he is 16 years old, now I can die.” And she died. Although her disease was curable, it was just a tiny nodule. The disease is in the head.

We have to work and live. The day should be compressed so that death cannot penetrate there. Medicine has come a long way, they can save you. But you yourself must want it and not give up. Don’t lie at home, bringing everything to a critical state, and then go to the healers and sorcerers. Under no circumstances should this be done. May you live 5 to 7 years after surgery. But these will be years snatched from death. It depends only on you how you will remain in the memory of your family and friends - a disgusting, whining creature or a mother who did not break in this difficult life situation.

It’s probably even harder for women, because cancer has a significant impact on one’s appearance.

This is true. A man faces a terrible picture - a bald, fat woman without nails or teeth. The man who will be abandoned by everyone - husband, colleagues, children

The points. Prosthetics have now gone so far that even on the beach in a swimsuit, no one will even guess that you are missing some parts. Is surgery painful? No. Is chemotherapy terrible? Yes, but you can endure it. Your hair will grow back, your teeth will be done by a dentist, your nails will be glued on at a salon. And then, no one will cut off your soul! Many women are afraid that their husband will leave them. And I saw husbands who said to their spouses: “Why do I need you now?” So, this one will leave anyway. But most husbands stay.

How long did it take you personally to feel so optimistic about your diagnosis?

20 minutes. I left the clinic and asked myself all the questions: “Why?”, “Why to me?”, “I’m so young, and should I die?” She bellowed in the trolleybus. Then I wiped my snot and said to myself: I have three children, a husband, two grandmothers, three dogs, a cat. I'll die and everything will fall apart. Of course, I’m too small fry for humanity to notice the disappearance of Dasha Dontsova. But for 20 people close to me, this will be a loss. The main thing is to give yourself a mindset. Do you know who lives the longest among scientists? Genetics! Simply because their experiments are designed for many years in advance, only then do they get some results. They give themselves an instruction - they wait and live.

Can you give any advice to the relatives of those who are sick?

The main thing is not to put the person to bed. The patient subconsciously expects confirmation from you that everything is fine with him. Kick up! We came home from work, and you didn’t fry any potatoes! Is your hand not working? So adapt somehow, we want to eat! It helps.

It turns out that a person can only be helped by his family, himself and luck with a doctor. Is there simply no solution at the state level?

What to do if our world is created for the young, healthy and strong? It is believed that if you get sick, then you are a second-class citizen. Look, there are almost no disabled people on our streets. The city is not suitable for them. They are sitting at home. Can the state do something? I don't know. But famous people should talk about this problem. How Gomelsky did it. Let them come to Komsomolskaya Pravda and simply talk about how they are fighting this disease. I'm sure this will help many.

Alexander GOMELSKY:

I wanted to tell people - fight!

After the publication in Komsomolskaya Pravda they called me endlessly. The military, the doctors, and the Tseskovites called. They supported. I had a tomography done at a good clinic. The Americans were really able to kill this infection in my body.

But the most important thing I wanted to tell people is don’t give up. Fight. Everyone has a chance! Yes, I spoke harshly about our doctors... But not about all of them, of course, but only about those whom I had the opportunity to meet last year and who almost buried me. And we have excellent specialists. And the technology is good. Everything is there, it’s just that our people have a stereotype in their heads that cancer is a sentence, death. That with such a diagnosis you can simply give up on a person. But doctors, like teachers, like police officers, are our ordinary people, just like everyone else. And they were brought up the same way as everyone else, and live by the same laws as everyone else. We need to fight this idea. Cancer can be treated. But here we need the intervention of public opinion.

We have many skilled doctors, both in the Botkin hospital, and in the center on Kashirka, and in many places. But there are also those who have completely forgotten about the Hippocratic Oath. That being a doctor is a sacred profession. And if you’ve already taken it upon yourself, treat it, save it. If you can't, leave.

You talked about the possible creation of a foundation in your name.

I'm currently dealing with this issue. And it's not about money. We need an information center so that a person can call and receive all the necessary information. What to do, how to treat this disease. To have a psychologist working there all the time. Now we need to create a public committee, connect television and the press. This is important and it can help. And all the same, the final word belongs to the state. In America, where I was treated, citizens of the country can stay in a hospital in Houston almost free of charge. As it was with us at one time. And it should be. Medicine for the elderly and children must be free.

WHAT READERS SAY

Valentina Fedorovna Ignatova,
Novosibirsk:

- Three years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They said I had to live for six months. I was treated in a Novosibirsk hospital, the doctors here are excellent. Of course, we had to pay, but only for the drugs. I am 65 years old, but I continue to work and gain weight. The main thing, I realized, is to believe! Like Gomelsky, and everything will be fine. We need more articles like this, but if you listen to the doctors, you need to go to bed and collect money for wreaths.

Spartak Nikitich Sazonov,
Ekaterinburg, 70 years old:

I have been dealing with the problem of cancer for a long time. Even Hippocrates two and a half thousand years ago said that before treating the body, the soul must be cured. English scientists have proven that cancer is a state of mind. So the main thing is to tune in and behave correctly. I read a lot of books, including “Diagnostics of Karma”. And I believe that only faith in God and in yourself will save you from this disease. My wife died. And I know why. There are no secrets. The Ministry of Health just doesn’t want to listen.

Irina, Moscow:

My child got cancer when he was 13 years old. And if there is hell on earth, it is medicine in Russia. We went all this way, we were treated, and it was incredibly expensive. Fortunately, the son is alive. Now he is 20 years old. But every year I am forced to go through a lot of humiliating procedures to prove that he is disabled. Bribes are demanded everywhere. And at the military registration and enlistment office they say: why are you bothering with him, he’ll die soon anyway. They are the mothers! What can they say or do to the child?

Iraida Yakovlevna, Moscow, 73 years old:

Nowadays you can find an advertisement in every newspaper: we can cure cancer. And a phone. Either the medicine is offered for 70 - 80 thousand, or the clinic is private. And no one knows whether they are deceiving us or not. But the Ministry of Health is silent! And you can feel the deception! The state doesn’t need sick people, they need to get rid of us.

Tatyana Mikhailovna Rosenthal,
Nizhny Novgorod:

Doctor Gordetsov works in our city. He has a method of spectral analysis of blood. In one and a half to two years you can find out whether a person will get sick or not. Diagnosis at an early stage! Progressive method. But it seems that no one except the doctor himself and the patients need this. How did you deal with your illness?

“I get up at 6 am”

Instagrams run by your pug dogs mention that you get up at 6am every day. Is it really true?

Yes, I get up at 6 in the morning, because I am not only a writer and TV presenter - no one has relieved me of the duties of a wife and mother. I have assistants, I have a housekeeper, but I always cook in the house myself.

- What do you like to eat?

Fish in any form, except fried, vegetables, fruits. Doctors forbade me to eat meat products - not exactly, but somehow limit myself to them. But since I never really liked them anyway - neither sausage, nor meat, nor frankfurters - the refusal was very easy.

- When you cook meat for your family, is there any temptation to try a piece?

Absolutely! I don’t like it, so I cook it completely calmly. In our family we have never had any special gastronomic problems. The only thing is that we always cook soup. There are a lot of men in the house, so somehow it’s traditional that there’s not a day without soup. But we always cook it in water or vegetable broth, not in meat broth. And for variety, we sometimes add two tablespoons of processed cheese to any hot vegetarian soup. It turns out very tasty.

“I don’t believe in magic pills”

- How do you manage to be so graceful and slender? Do you have a special diet?

For those who want to always be in good shape, I can only advise one thing: eat less and exercise - there’s simply nothing else! All the stories about “magic pills” with which you can eat anything and still lose weight are not true. Diet is not a one-time promotion, but a lifestyle. If you live with your mouth “gagged” for two weeks, and then, having lost a couple of kilograms, you “untie it”, then not only will the lost kilograms return, but you will also bring a couple of friends with you. I have foods that I never eat at all. Mayonnaise, smoked products, meat. I don’t buy sausage, but pate, boiled pork, roast beef - I make everything myself. I buy meat from the market and cook it at home.

I also play sports, go to the gym three times a week - unfortunately, at night. I get there at 8 pm because I have no other time.

- How do you rest?

At home. I come in the evening, collect all my dogs, and go to bed. Forgive me for the indecent confession - I eat in bed, although I know that it is very bad, it is a disgrace, but I do it. And I feel good, happy and healthy!

The writer is a frequent visitor to the fitness room, where she easily stretches. Photo: Instagram.com

HELP "KP":

At 64 years old, he stretches at the machine.

Daria DONTSOVA (real name - Agrippina Arkadyevna Dontsova) is one of those rare women who does not hide her age (born June 7, 1952). And all because at 64 years old, she, a mother of two children and grandmother of two grandchildren, looks fit, fresh, full of energy and optimism.

Everyone knows that the author of ironic detective stories survived a terrible disease - breast cancer (diagnosed in 1998), but managed to defeat it. Dontsova calls on women who find themselves in a similar situation not to give up: “If they told you “oncology,” this does not mean that the next station is “crematorium.”

“Many years ago, I began to tell journalists: oncology is conquerable,” Dontsova wrote on her page on social networks. - They didn’t want to listen to me, but I repeated these words, repeated them, and put on TV programs. I was the first to speak openly on screen about breast cancer. And I’m proud that now this disease is no longer considered shameful, that women have begun to be checked and to calmly go for surgery.”

BY THE WAY

According to the Russian Book Chamber, Dontsova ranks first in the country among authors of adult fiction in terms of the total annual circulation of published books. In 2015, 117 titles of books and brochures by Dontsova were published in Russia with a total circulation of 1 million 968 thousand copies.

SPECIFICALLY

Simple ways to become an optimist

- Daria, you are always smiling and in a good mood. What's your secret?

Actually, I already wrote my tips on my Instagram page. But I repeat again.

1. My main enemy looks at me from the mirror. We need to educate ourselves every day, not those around us.

2. You shouldn’t try to change those around you, you should change yourself.

3. You must love yourself and your loved ones.

4. You should never show aggression.

5. Whether I will be happy or unhappy depends only on me.

6. No matter what happens to me, I first of all think that the Lord will manage everything, will certainly help, I read the prayer of the Optina elders, the 90th Psalm and do not panic.

7. Every Sunday I go to liturgy, confess, take communion, and fast. I know that the Lord will give me everything, but only at the moment when He deems it necessary. I understand that we are on Earth in order to save our soul, so I am not angry with those who do me bad, I am grateful to ill-wishers, they teach me to be tolerant and calm.

8. I don’t divide people into good and bad, I don’t condemn anyone. The one who is bad for me is good for another person.

9. I don't argue.

10. The husband is the main one in the family.

11. I don't complain about life.

12. When I am guilty, I ask for forgiveness.

13. I try to live by the commandments.

14. I have true friends.

15. It’s good to have money, but my happiness does not depend on it, and there are some things I will never do even for billions.

16. If I don't understand something, I'll ask.

17. I see only the good in people.

18. I'm not offended.

19. I work a lot.

20. I'm always in a good mood.

21. I don’t sort things out.

22. I enjoy little things.

23. I don't envy anyone.

And I am happy. It's simple. If you want to be happy, believe in God and educate yourself every day without getting tired.

Russian writer Daria Dontsova has repeatedly said in her microblog that the power of Faith helps her live. Previously, it was faith in God that helped Daria overcome a terrible illness - a cancerous tumor, Joinfo.ua reports.

Visit to the Temple

This time, the popular writer of women's detective stories in her microblog told fans about an amazing observation in the Temple of the Savior of the Image Not Made by Hands in the village of Ubory.

As you know, Dontsova often comes to the Temple and bows before the relics of the Saints. She constantly visits this Holy place and even stands at the Liturgy. However, this time she saw something that made her think.

It turns out that when she bowed earlier, she did not read what was written on the ark. And now the inscription caught her eye.

Inscription on the Holy Relics

All this time, the detective writer visited the relics of Ilya Muromets and Nestor the Chronicler. These people became Saints for their good deeds. Many children even know their names from stories and fairy tales, and Daria was able to bow to their relics.

As JoeInfoMedia journalist Ulyana Ulitkina found out, prayer and faith helped Daria recover from cancer. The writer remained alive after 18 complex operations and chemotherapy. After overcoming the disease, Daria became morally stronger. By her example, she showed that any illness can be cured, the main thing is to believe and want to live.

We previously reported that the famous Russian satirist Mikhail Zadornov denied rumors about his deteriorating health.