How to find your own self. Why people can't find themselves and what to do about it

Since ancient times, people have been asking themselves the question, how to find themselves in life? After all, his life depends on how early a person realizes his purpose. This article provides seven simple ways to find yourself and at the same time save time, which is better spent on realizing your main life goal.

Remember your childhood dreams

Trying to find themselves in the gray whirlpool of everyday life, people very often slide into a depressive abyss, completely forgetting about the bright colors of life. But, after all, there was a period of carelessness, dreams and fairy tales. Childhood! And each of us during these years wanted to become someone when we grew up. I imagined myself as a specific hero while playing with my peers.

Perhaps children's dreams contain a hint that will help everyone find themselves in life. In those years, we still didn’t know a lot about it, and, dreaming of becoming an astronaut, we didn’t even imagine the existence of an otolaryngologist or merchandiser, but our main interests were laid precisely then. This means that there is a rational grain in trying to remember your childhood dreams, talking with your parents or those people who took the main part in your upbringing. Perhaps this conversation will make key adjustments and tell you how to find your true and authentic self.

Analyze your skills and abilities

Instead of constant sadness and philosophizing, like “I can’t find myself in life,” it’s better to spend significantly less time just trying to get to know yourself. Set aside at least one evening or any other time of day for introspection. Take a walk in the park, go fishing, or stock up on cookies and wrap your head in a blanket. The main thing is that it helps you relax and tune into a dialogue with yourself.

Ask yourself a question about your calling in life and try to hear the answer of your subconscious, which, quite likely, contains information that can help a person find himself. What kind of work interests you? What's nice to do? What to do? Analyze representatives of which professions most often appear in your favorite films and television shows. Who is interesting to read about and learn something new? And most importantly, at such a moment a person must be honest with himself! It is important to answer the question, what can he do? After all, any of us is sure to be able to do something better than others.

Understand what environment it is comfortable to be in

It’s not for nothing that there is a saying “tell me who your friend is and I’ll tell you who you are.” After all, all the space around us, every person with whom we communicate, shapes us as a person. Therefore, when trying to find yourself, it is advisable to use not only introspection, but also look at those people who are nearby. First of all, this concerns friends, because relatives and work colleagues are not chosen, but those with whom to be friends are a conscious decision. It is easier to analyze others emotionally than to analyze yourself, so it is worth looking for yourself in life through the knowledge of others.

Think about what you like to do in your free time

Work, study, and household responsibilities are not always chosen by us voluntarily. Sometimes people are forced to do something not by their own will, but by coincidence. But, sooner or later, free time appears and how a person spends it depends on him personally. At such moments, you should listen to your desires. Where do you want to go, where do you want to be? In a noisy campaign at a party, or in a secluded place with a cup of tea. Read a book or ride your bike like the wind somewhere along a country road?

Perhaps understanding your interests and hobbies will help you better know and find yourself. By the way, most truly wealthy people achieved success when they did what they loved, turning their hobby into work. This is how the world came to know many great writers, artists, performers and representatives of other creative professions.

Educate yourself and expand your worldview

New knowledge is one of the best ways to find yourself and your place in life. For example, how can a person determine that he wants to become a marketer if he has never even heard such a word? Or perhaps, on the contrary, having heard about a village in the Himalayas, someone will decide to sell their entire business and go there in search of universal harmony and peace. And there he will find true happiness, far from the bustle of the city, imperfect laws and daily responsibilities.

To come to such decisions, you need to know that they exist at all. And without constant self-education this is not possible. And sometimes “I can’t find myself,” say people who simply don’t know enough about all the opportunities open to them in this world.

Understand what makes you feel happy

Another reliable way to find yourself is to understand what exactly in this life gives you a feeling of joy and helps you become happy. After all, you cannot deceive your inner microcosm. By the way, there is a term called “procrastination syndrome”, simply laziness! This concept is a kind of evolutionary adaptation that prevents us from wasting time on unnecessary things.

It is worth thinking about why a person takes on some tasks with joy and pleasure, while he is too lazy to even think about others. ? Perhaps it makes sense to exclude from your daily to-do list those that bring negative emotions. Or, just try to change your attitude towards such work.

Draw your own world

An original way to find yourself is to draw your own world in which you would like to live. Think about your desired environment, work, friends, hobbies, and generally your ideal self! Feel free to let your imagination fly in any direction, without any restrictions or rules. It is advisable to fulfill only one condition - a person needs to feel happy in an imaginary world! Then you should compare your fantasy with reality. See what is missing in real life to make your dreams come true.

Perhaps not so much? Determine the main guidelines that a person not only would like, but could also improve. As a result, instead of fantasies and dreams, a rough action plan will appear. Next, all that remains is to review it again, leaving the most important things and begin to implement it. It is important to remember that the real world is also created by ourselves, by our thoughts, words, and actions. And no one else has the right to prevent a person from finding himself in life, just as no one else is obliged to help him in this! This is a personal task for everyone and therefore a person must cope with it himself, first in his head, and then in reality.

This article discusses seven ways to find yourself, understand your purpose and the meaning of life. The main thing in this search is to rely on your heart and mind, as well as your intuition. Listen to your inner voice, take a closer look at the people around you, realize what exactly causes a feeling of joy and happiness. If someone does all this, then finding himself in this world will not be difficult for him. And having gained this understanding, everything else will be much easier to put into place.

According to a study by Headhunter, 40% of people think about quitting their job at least once a day. Another 49% think about it occasionally, and only 11% don’t think about it at all.

This means that 9 out of 10 people work in a job they don’t like, which means their whole life is far from ideal.

Therefore, if you do not want to be one of them or want to change your life, you need find yourself. Understand yourself and identify your strengths to find what you love. After all, your whole life and the level of happiness in it depend on what you do.

You will find specific techniques for finding your purpose in this playlist.

And now I invite you to answer a number of questions that will help you better understand yourself and find your talent.

What did you like to do as a child?

A child's brain is free from other people's opinions and useless knowledge. And at this age we are very close to our talent. But in childhood we are dependent on our parents. And they think it’s better for them to know what’s best for you. And that’s why they’re trying to make football players out of violinists. Think about it yourself, ask your parents and relatives, what did you like to do as a child?

What would you do with unlimited money?

There are many people who are happy without having a lot of money. There are also many millionaires who are unhappy. Developing yourself is not about making money. Realizing your destiny means developing your strengths. Think about what you would do if you didn't have to think about money?

What do you definitely not want to do?

Elimination can help you find your talent. Analyze your experience and determine exactly what you don't want to do. By narrowing your search, it will be much easier to find and understand yourself.

Remember the dayswhen did you feel really high?

Everything worked out for you, there was a sea of energy, it was as if you were flying and wanted to hug the whole world.

What have you been doing these days?

What would you like to do with the rest of your life?

This means doing something personally, yourself. Therefore, phrases like “travel around the world” are not suitable. But “becoming a famous writer in the field of psychology” is a more appropriate answer.

What kind of person's life would you like to live?

Write the name of a real person and why you would like to live their life. Or at least part of his life. It could be several heroes.

What attracts your attention in bookstores and exhibitions?

What information, encountered anywhere, immediately rivets you? What are you willing to study for days and hours?

Where can't you cheat?

You will never be able to do it carelessly and skimp on the activity that is your talent.

This is your calling in life, this is what you are here for, this is what you are naturally better at than most people!

And you simply cannot do it badly. So think about where you do everything perfectly and give 200%?

What do people ask for your help with?

Often what we are looking for is right under our noses. And sometimes it's hard to notice. But the people around you see you from the outside and if you succeed at something, they will come to you for help. Think about what people most often ask for your help with.

Naturally, this is not the entire list of questions. Here are 18 more questions, the answers to which may bring you closer to determining your purpose.

Questions to find your way

What excites me in life?
What are my secret ambitions?
What are my interests and hobbies?
What is important to me?
Why would I risk my life?
What activities bring me satisfaction?
What are my strengths?
Why am I being praised?
What have I been successful at in the past?
Where have I been most successful?
How could I change the world?
Where does my soul lie?
What will make my life joyful and happy?
What do I like to do?
What role do I want to play in life? - creator, logician, tactician, strategist
Who am I to begin with? - set your priorities - parent, spouse, entrepreneur, artist...
What do you want to do, not who do you want to be?
Why do I do what I do = Mission, ultimate goal?

This is important work on yourself. So do it now. This will help you find a way to yourself and start living your life.

What to do after the answers?

TAKE A BREAK FOR A DAY.

Rest, relax, do something nice for yourself. Reward yourself for your hard work and efforts.

And then, with a fresh mind and better in the morning, not in the evening, when your head is full of daytime problems, carefully analyze all the answers.

You need to find something in common. Where do they all intersect? And discover these points of contact. This doesn't have to be in all answers. But if this is repeated more than twice, then it’s worth paying attention to.

A complete guide to finding and identifying your talents is here

Write your own life timeline. Write down all your important goals in life that you have already achieved and that you are just striving for. On the other hand, write down all the events in your life that have already happened and that in some way influenced you. When life hits us with its problems and failures, it forms a value system and forces us to change our thinking. But what’s even better is that it makes us “us.” All these things on your lists are actually “you”, not just a reflection of society.

This is not a dive into your life. All this is needed to clarify and identify problems. These problems may be keeping you from discovering your true potential and keeping you from feeling at your best.
Take some time and clearly describe your past in chronology. Timeline is a surprisingly objective method for noting events in your past that you consider significant. Look at them as the building blocks that make up your entire life experience, without bringing too much emotion into them (much like you would if you kept a diary). Write simply, write the truth and focus on the main impact of the event or the lesson learned from it.
When you analyze your past negative experiences, look at the positive lessons you learned from them, do not focus on mistakes and failures. In the end, you learned something from all of this. Everyone has such periods in life; you shouldn’t exaggerate them or, on the contrary, assume that they never happened at all. Instead, accept and realize that if these events had not occurred, you would not be who you are today.

Separate your own thoughts from other people's thoughts. For most people (there are more of them than you think), life pretty much just goes on autopilot; we practically follow the map of life, as we are accustomed to consider it. Going to school, first job, getting married, worries here and there and boom - we hope you enjoyed your life. All this certainly works, but it leaves no room for the realization of the real “I” within you. So be alone with yourself. At the end of the timeline, highlight a few beliefs that are not based on logic, but based on what you have been led to believe. Everyone has them. What do you think of them now?

Society secretly teaches us to see the “undesirable,” condemn the “losers,” worship “beauty,” and shun the “eccentrics.” But here’s the mystery: all these judgments have no basis in reality. How do “you” feel the world around you? Think about exactly what “you” consider good and what is bad - do not accept other people’s opinions on this matter.
Feel free to think more specifically. Do you really agree with your parents' political and religious beliefs? The most important thing in life is to build a career? Do black glasses really make you "cooler"? If the answer to all these questions is no, great! There is no problem in not conforming to existing norms. All you have to do now is unlearn and then learn again. Just this time, follow your intuition.

Start relying on your strengths. Self-confidence is the key to finding your “I”. If you don't have a strong sense of self-worth, you will constantly listen to what others say, to their understanding of what is good, bad or decent. Learn to believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then you will discover a new “me” in yourself. Remember, be patient and confident in your own abilities. Everything will come in time.

If you have been a victim in the past, you need to resolve this conflict. These problems will not go away on their own. They will constantly influence your daily life, causing you to live according to other people's beliefs instead of having your own.
Start trusting your judgment and decision-making process. Of course, you will make mistakes from time to time, but everyone makes them. Through mistakes you will grow, learn and understand your true essence.
Take full responsibility for your budget, daily expenses and planning for the future. People who lack a sense of ownership live carefree lives, hoping that everything will somehow resolve itself. But it happens that not everything resolves itself. By taking responsibility, you move yourself away from the abyss and feel your inner strength, inner certainty, you are no longer floating on the waves of fate.

Start over with a clean slate. Develop your own system of moral values and make it a rule to follow it. Remove vices from your life (all actions or habits that bind your inner self and allow you not to think about truly important issues); they just constantly distract and only cause harm.

Quit smoking, overeating and excessive drinking. These are examples of vices and habits that do not allow you to breathe deeply. They can also lead you astray from examining why you engage in these bad habits instead of enriching your life in other ways.
This step may require a long recovery for some, but putting it off will not solve the problem. Remember, you can't drive forward while constantly looking in the rearview mirror!

Organize the world around you. You will note that if all your affairs are in order, the path to self-knowledge is open. So tidy up your room. Complete all your assignments. Resolve the conflict with your friend. If you remove all obstacles from the path, you will have time to realize the essence of yourself.

We all have excuses for why we are not developing in what we would like to develop in - it could be a matter of money, studies, work, relationships, you name it, all this can be the reason. If you are a busy bee, still take the time to sit down and sort everything out. If these things are low on your to-do list, you will never get things done.

Part 2

Conquer your world

Immerse yourself in solitude. Allow yourself to step away from the expectations, conversations, noise, news and pressure on you. Set aside time each day to just walk and reflect. Sit on a bench in the park and relax. Go on a long walk full of different thoughts. Whatever you do, go as far as possible from everything that interferes with the contemplation of life and does not allow it to go in the right direction. In solitude you should feel independent and self-sufficient, not lonely, needy or afraid.
- Everyone needs alone time, whether that person is introverted or extroverted, single or in a relationship, young or old. Solitude is a time for renewal and self-talk, for inner peace and understanding that solitude is not a bad thing, but rather a liberating essence of being.
- If you are a creative person, you will find that time on your own helps develop your skills and inspires you. Sometimes it's great to work together with other people, but it's hard to stay inspired when you're constantly surrounded by other people. Take a step back and go to the source of inspiration.
Find your passion. When you believe in something or find something beautiful, you should strive for it, regardless of what others think. If you find something that is worth your efforts, sacrifices and tears, it may be the most important find in life. Often this discovery will lead you to truly fulfilling yourself.
- The most important thing is to understand, “It doesn’t matter what exactly it will be.” It could be fighting hunger or it could be painting. There are no comparisons when it comes to passion. You either feel it or you don't, there's no comparison. When you find an activity that gets you out of bed in the morning, immerse yourself in it. You will be able to fully open up in it.
Look for a mentor. And although only you can search for yourself, and only you determine your needs, a mentor or experienced master will help you avoid unnecessary obstacles on your path. Look for someone you trust and who has a strong sense of self-awareness. How did he come to this?
- Tell them about the process you are immersing yourself in. Specifically mention that you know this is your journey, but you would like to use their power to guide you. Look at them as objectively as possible. How did they become like this? How did they find their strength? What makes them honest with themselves?
- Support is the key to any form of self-improvement. Not many will understand you, and many will simply dismiss this topic as unimportant. The mentor will also tell you everything that you definitely don’t need to do.
Get your career figured out. If you're always looking for the "right" job, you're probably unhappy deep down and justify your failure to realize your potential by changing jobs frequently. To find yourself, you need to truly love what you do. What would you do if you didn't have to worry about earning a living? Is it possible to turn this activity/skill into money?

Part 3

Changing our perspectives

Don't try to please everyone. Let's face it: some people treat you badly no matter what you do. It is important to ignore their opinions because you cannot please everyone. You probably don't want to disappoint the people close to you, but they should want you to be happy too. Until you stop living according to others' ideas of who you should be, you will never know your true self. This idea was aptly summed up by Raymond Hull: “He who limits himself to please others will soon lose himself.”
- Keep in mind that when you see you change your life, grow up, and love yourself, some of the people around you may become jealous, scared, or overwhelmed. Your relationship will change, they will have to look strictly and impartially at themselves, and they probably do not want to do this. Understand these people and give them time; later they will agree with your decision. If not, leave them alone. They don't have to be the same as you.
Avoid negativity. It sounds pretty confusing, yes. But luckily, it's easier to do than it seems! Make informed choices and minimize judgments – about others, about things And About Me. There are two reasons for this: 1) Positivity can reveal a feeling of happiness for you that has been hidden under the guise of everyday life and 2) By opening your mind to new experiences and new people (that you previously did not allow), you open up a new world that can become better than your previous one - in such a world you will find your piece of heaven, build a castle on a cloud, find your place in this crazy world.
- Try doing things that you previously thought were “weird,” “illogical,” or simply “uncomfortable.” Getting out of your comfort zone will allow you to get to know yourself - what you are capable of, what you are like, what exactly does not apply to you and what you have always been missing. In any case, you will only win!
Ask yourself questions. Ask yourself difficult questions that force you to look at things more broadly than before. More importantly, write down the answers to these questions. When you are in solitude, it is very easy to lose these thoughts; they will simply slip away and be forgotten. If you write everything down, reflecting on it each time, you can revise your notes and even take it a step further instead of answering already prepared questions. Keep them in a notebook so you can easily write them down and update them wherever you are. This will feed your mind so you can measure your growth throughout your life. Here are a few to get you started:
- “If I had all the resources in the world and didn’t have to earn money, how would I spend my life and why?” Perhaps you would take up painting, writing books, farming, or exploring the Amazon jungle. Don't hold back your dreams.
- "I'd like to look back and say what's one thing I've never regretted?" Do you regret that you have never been abroad? Why didn’t you talk to that person, even at the risk of being rejected? That you spent little time with your family when you had the chance? This question can be really difficult.
- "If I were given three words to describe the person I would like to become, what would they be? Risk-taking? Loving? Open? Honest? Fun-loving? Optimistic? Don't be afraid of negative words, they just mean you are real a person, and not a set of positive qualities that everyone wants to strive for.
  - Sometimes traits you don't like will become useful in emergency situations - like commanding others. Sometimes they are extremely important for a particular matter, such as your pickiness.
  - If you do have serious negative traits, admitting it openly will encourage you to channel that energy in a positive direction. Try turning a bad habit into a hobby. Don't like to wash your clothes often? Go on a hike, you might like it. Even something like pole dancing can do you good!
- "Who am I?" The answer to this question cannot be constant. Ask yourself this throughout your life. A normal person is constantly rebuilding. By regularly asking yourself this question, you can adjust your vision of yourself and observe changes. Don't try to answer who you need to be, but focus on understanding who you really are. Most likely, this person is beautiful, despite all his flaws.

Part 4

We fill ourselves with only good things

Act according to the newly discovered knowledge. Do what you like! Start painting with watercolors. Write a short story. Plan a trip to Mombasa. Have dinner with your family. Start making jokes. Open up. Tell the truth. Whatever you want to become and whatever you decide to do, start now!
- You're probably shaking your head as you read this and making excuses like “no time,” “no money,” “family obligations,” etc. Instead of hiding behind obstacles, think about how to overcome them. You can find free time, find money and get rid of responsibilities if you are brave enough to just strive for these things.
- Sometimes, your whole being is too scared to take decisive action, because it will mean coming face to face with what you have limited yourself to. Start thinking about what you really want to do and what you need to do to make it possible, instead of hiding behind excuses, destroying your goals and dreams in the bud.
Be prepared for failure. Finding yourself is a process, not a goal. A lot of it is trial and error. This is the price you have to pay for the feeling of inner satisfaction you will receive. On the way, you will often stumble and sometimes fall face down. Understand and accept that this is an integral part of the process, and you will have to pull yourself together and start all over again.
- It will not be easy - it has never been easy for anyone. But if you learn to perceive difficulties as an opportunity to prove the firmness of your intentions to find yourself, your reward will be prosperity and the fulfillment of your plans. When you become yourself, everyone will respect you more and treat you more kindly. And most importantly, you will always be satisfied with yourself, others will notice this and will be even more convinced of your individuality.
Serve others. Mahatma Gandhi once said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” By fully engaging in self-analysis and not reaching out to others, you will gradually isolate yourself from people and withdraw into yourself. Serving others and society is the best way to understand your purpose and find your place in life.
- When you see how hard life can be for those who need more than you, you will likely awaken to a different perspective on your own experiences, problems, and concerns. You will appreciate what you have and remember what opportunities you missed in the past. This will give a huge impetus to the development of your independence, because everything will fall into place for you, and you will understand what is really important in life. Give it a try. You'll like it..

Along the way, sometimes you will need to cry. Freeing your soul is beneficial.
And although it sounds like a cliché, the concept of being yourself can only be taken literally when you actually search for your essence. Protect yourself from other people's influence; Be sure to listen to those around you and learn from other people, but reserve the right to agree or disagree and make the final choices and decisions. If you silently accept the opinions of others, your search for your “I” becomes even more difficult, since other people influence your self-awareness.
Take yourself out of your comfort zone for an extended period of time. Observe yourself as you behave outside of your comfort zone and you will learn things about yourself that you never knew.
There is no time limit for finding yourself, have patience.
Don't think that all this is happening only to you. Ralph Ellison wrote about this well in The Invisible Man: “All my life I was looking for something, and wherever I went, someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers, although they often contradicted each other and to ourselves. I was naive. I searched for myself and asked everyone but myself questions that only I could answer. My expectations came back to me like a painful boomerang, and it took a long time for me to realize what everyone else a person, apparently, is born into the world: I am only me and no one else.”
Remember that the morning is wiser than the evening. There is no need to rush into making a decision, and you are more likely to make the right one if you rest and calm down.
Forgive and hope others will forgive you.
Being yourself is the best you can be, remember that.
You'll know you're close when you're relaxed or completely immersed in something. Sometimes you won't be out of breath, sometimes it happens.
There really isn't a "right" or a "wrong" so don't worry too much.
Listen and trust your inner voice!
Be the best you can be.

Do you know the difference between a genius and an ordinary person? A genius defends his right to do what he loves. This usually happens at a very early age.

Answer yourself the question, what did you like to do as a child? Even before your parents began to push into you the attitude that “you can’t earn a living by drawing” or “dancing is not serious.” Write three things that really fascinated you as a child. This is a little hint where you should aim.

Exercise 2. Looking for patterns: 20 favorite activities

Now let's make a list of your 20 . Even if some of them seem banal to you (for example, eating delicious food) - write anyway. When the list is ready, take a close look at these activities. See the patterns? Maybe your list is dominated by things related to helping people? Or some kind of sports activities? Or things related to quiet monotonous work?

Understand how this list can be divided into groups. It will help you understand what kind of life you would like to live.

Exercise 3. Your ideal environment

If no one believes in you, then believing in yourself becomes even more difficult. This is why the environment that produces winners almost always consists of winners. Unfortunately, the environment in which we are accustomed to growing up is not conducive to the creation of geniuses.

Imagine that the world has changed overnight to suit your needs. And in the morning it will be filled with the kind of people you want. What will these people be like? What qualities do they have? Maybe all of them, or, on the contrary, these are people who passed the strength of materials test with an A plus? Maybe they do everything quickly, or, on the contrary, would you like to slow down the world?

What have you learned about yourself and what do you need to be your full self?

Exercise 4. Five Lives

Now imagine: you will have five lives. And in each of them you can become who you want. How will you live these five lives?

This exercise, like all others, you can customize to suit you. If you manage it in three lives, take three. You need ten - don’t deny yourself anything. I chose five just because I like that number.

So, imagine that you will devote one life to biology, the second to professional travel, the third to starting a large family with a bunch of money, in the fourth you will become a sculptor, and in the fifth you will become an astronaut. Which one do you like better?

The most important thing to understand here is this: if you have to choose just one life, even the one you like best, you will still miss the rest. Because they are an integral part of you. It was drilled into our heads: “Make up your mind!” This is sad.

There are people in the world who are born for a single purpose, but this is a rare exception. Each of your lives contains something that you deeply love and need. And you can bring this into your life.

Exercise 5. My ideal day

Now we have a long walk through your imagination. Grab a pen and paper and let's go. So what do you see as your ideal day?

Live this day in the present tense and in all the details: where do you wake up, what kind of house is it, who is lying next to you, what do you eat for breakfast, what clothes do you wear, what are you doing, what kind of work are you doing, at home or in the office?

Don't limit your imagination. Describe the day you would live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited funds and all the strength and energy that you have only dreamed of.

After the list has been compiled, divide all your fantasies into three groups:

Which of these do you need like air?
Which is not necessary, but I would still really like to have.
What can you do without?

Our life consists of life experiences, stories, roles, relationships, earnings, skills. We choose some of this ourselves. Some of what we call our choices are actually compromises. Something completely random. Some of this is necessary and very expensive. But all this is not you.

Focus on yourself. Find what you love. And start moving towards your destiny.

Most people do not know how to find themselves in life, why they are here on planet Earth. This leads to a whole range of negative feelings, ranging from depression, disappointment and stress, to rage, guilt and despair.

How to find yourself in life - three components:

Determining your Key Competence;
Determining your Ways of Expression;
Spiritual development.

Step #1 - Determine your Core Competency

To understand how to find yourself in life, you need to define your Core Competency - it's simply what you're really good at. Defining your Core Competency means combining your strengths, skills and dreams.

#1 Describe your strengths

Initially, a strength means something that is given to you from birth, something that you love to do, and that sometimes brings you pleasure after you do it. Below are four points to help you identify your innate strengths:

I feel confident when...
People I trust have said that my strengths include...
Special ACTIONS that people I admire take...
ACTIVITIES I can do to express my strengths...

#2 Write down your skills

Your strengths and your skills are different. A strength is something you are born with, and a skill refers to the activities you perform that tap into that strength.

For example, you are very sociable. You can convince anyone to do anything. This is an innate strength. In this case, your skills might include the following: trading, recruiting, teaching, or television and radio broadcasting.

I know I'm doing really well...
People tell me they appreciate or like it when I...
I like to do…
ACTIONS I can take to improve my skills...

#3 Determine your desires

What can you do to make your dreams come true? What steps can you take to achieve what you dream of? Do you notice how we constantly perform some action in order to take the next small step?

Don't wait until you know absolutely everything, but start moving forward. Most people live like this, waiting for the situation to be ideal, only then are they ready to act. You need to understand that life is not perfect and that you just have to take action.

If money were no obstacle, I would...
I'm happiest when...
I'm pleasantly excited when...
ACTIONS I can take to make my dreams come true...

Step #2 - Determine your modes of expression

Now, in order to understand how to find yourself in life, you need to answer the question, how will you manifest and express your strengths, skills and dreams? How would you like to express yourself in life? This is exactly what I want to do. This is exactly what I want to express, who I really am.

#1 Find out who you really are!

You can ask your loved ones, friends or coach to help you answer this question. The question "Who am I?" is probably the most ancient question known to mankind.

Think about whether you can answer this question in one word or phrase? Reach out to yourself and express who you truly are.

EXERCISE:

Who am I really? ________________________________________________________________

#2 Know your roles

Once you figure out who you are, you need to explore your roles. These are the roles you currently play, as well as the roles you would like to play.

Your roles are different from your job. Your roles include much more than just work. For example, you may have the role of mother or father, brother or sister, spouse or friend - these are all your personal roles.

Then you can also act as a salesperson, craftsman, trainer or educator - all of these roles may be included in your job.

What about those roles that you would like to perform in order to fulfill your dreams?

When they interviewed hundreds of very happy people, each of them became like this in their own way, there was one similarity. They are all doing the same thing: expressing who they are to the highest degree and having fun doing it. If they can do it, then you can do it too!

EXERCISE:

Key roles I perform or would like to perform: ______________________

#3 Decide to continue what you started

These are the most important reasons why you want to do something. Why did you decide to persist in what you started? As you move forward, you will be bombarded with things you never expected.

It happened to me, it happened to others, and it will happen to you. But when you decide to continue, you become fundamentally inflexible. That’s when you will go beyond positive thinking, beyond motivation, and just do what you need to do.

What do you want to do? You may not realize it yet, but you need to understand it. Why? Because if you don't do this when you encounter the first difficulties you encounter, and there will be many, then without a strong desire to do what you want to do, you will give up.

If you turn around and go back, then, as far as I understand, you didn’t really want it. The answer is to know when you encounter more difficulties to move in a certain direction.

Perhaps you really should choose a different path. The more connected you are to your intuition, to your Real Self, the more you will know when you should move in one direction and when you need to take a different path. And return to the first step to answer your question, how to find yourself in life.

EXERCISE:

Why will I persistently continue the work that I always want to do? __________

There are many paths to success. Ask yourself why you don't stop until you get where you want to go. Will you give up or will you continue to pursue your dreams?