Orlusha. Transcript

Has entered. The whole hall, of course, stood up.
He took off his watch. Peskov did not.
Double? No, it looks like this one:
- Here, for starters, an anecdote!

Well, the joke is pretty flat -
About the fact that our life is striped,
Like a zebra, the body is black and white.
The whole hall thought: “This is brave!
Just like that, from the threshold, sharply - once again!
About difficulties, not in the eyebrow, but in the eye!”
Let's not get distracted! Peskov,
I looked like a cat at hamsters,
Gioconda beaming with a smile,
And he poked his finger without making a mistake
To ask a question
In the latent United Russia,
Holding a sign in his hand
"Corruption and cashing out."

And - the curve rushed into the sorrel!
Vovant put everyone in their place,
I found two words for everyone,
At the same time, he did not change his face,
I wasn’t nervous, I didn’t hunch my back.
Here, for example, about Ukraine:
- We never said
That we didn't go there
Why aren’t our military there?
The Internet exploded with laughter
I personally was lying under the table,
And he continued
Calm and soulful:
- There are a number of non-cadre military personnel there
Forgetting about service, wives and dachas,
Solve different problems
And combat ones, too.
Then, with a smile on his brow,
Reminded that Saakashvili
The Americans contracted
Destroy our former scoop,
And this, therefore, is spit
In the face of beloved Ukraine!

I understood less than half
What he said that day.
At the same time, it seemed to me that the hall
Holding signs above your head,
Nodding my head out of habit,
It was as if he was under hypnosis,
Listening to jokes and threats:
“We’ll get everyone from everywhere!”
“We will not create bases”
“The Turks are licking Americans”
“The crisis is not terrible, as I see it,”
“My daughter did not study abroad,”
"Syrians are more than Syrians"
“We will shut off the gas pipes,”
“Turchak’s fur coats were stolen”...

I looked and thought: I don’t understand!
He has questions about Thomas,
And he is without fear and without anxiety
He answers them about Yerema,
In “dili-dili” - “trali-vali”:
- We are not lying to you, that we lied before,
And before they lied because
That we didn't lie to anyone!

He finished. And, oddly enough,
And people on TV screens,
And journalistic jellied meat,
They said in unison: “Well done!
On the shelves! Exactly! Clearly!
Now even a fool can understand
That we... in short... in general... somewhere,
That there are successes and rockets,
That Brent and Urals are nonsense,
That the course and prices are not a problem,
Georgians rule Ukraine
And those who are against us are brutes!”

He got up. I put on my watch. Gone.
- He didn’t find a minute for us! -
The Spanish journalist exclaimed
Sobchak in a prisoner's shirt.
- But he looked at us! -
Sign JE SUIS KAVKAZ
I waved to him with a smile
Elder of the Chechen press.
Everyone started taking selfies with Vova,
But not with “himself”, but with Solovyov,
And myself (in my ear, personally)
Peskov said: “It went great!”

Well, in conclusion, people,
I want to remind you of a joke,
What the guarantor said at the beginning:
Have you ever noticed
That the body of a zebra, alas,
Starting from a wondrous head,
No matter how you darn your vest,
It always ended with f*ck...