Literary and musical composition Fate and lyrics by T. Snezhina

The life of Tatyana Snezhina, poetess,
composer, author and performer
of their songs, tragically ended
at the height of her talent.
The creativity of this gifted, beautiful
girls received recognition after her
death...

"I'm waiting for you, Happiness! I'm waiting in my dreams,
when the night quietly lowers the veil over
my eyelashes shine when cold
the stars carry me into the vastness
Universe. I'm waiting for you when
the vain day comes into its own,
pulling me into a whirlpool
worries, affairs and problems, and even under
with the weight of insolubility I wait and wait
you, Happiness!

I'm looking for you, Happiness! I am looking for you
everywhere, even where it seemed
It would be pointless to search. And that's it
I’m looking, going through the possible and
impossible.

I hope for you, Happiness! I hope when all is lost, when there is nothing to return, when
there is no longer room for hope, I hope that I am not forgotten by you, Happiness, and that you will discern
me in a labyrinth of destinies and hopes. But maybe this is your essence, so that
seek, wait and hope, O Happiness?!"

It won't hurt me anymore
It probably won't hurt me any more.

It won't get harder for me, it won't,
I won't go after you.
Maybe my heart will stop hurting,
When you give him peace again.

I won't, of course I won't,
It's bitter to cry and hide your tears.
I will forget, I will forget instantly,
And I won't remember you.

What was has passed and floated away.
Nothing can be fixed now.
I've cooled down, now I've cooled down.
And forget how to knock on that door.

It was painful to live like that in anticipation
Rare meetings and so frequent separations.
It was painful to run to a date,
To feel the coldness of your hands.

And now it won't hurt me anymore
If you slam the door and leave.
Maybe I'll even breathe a sigh of relief
Only you are unlikely to understand this.
1990, Moscow

If I die before my time
If I die before my time,
You give me to the white swans,
Between the feathers of their wings I will get entangled
And I will rush off with them into my dream.

And there is no need to call a priest to my house,
And there’s no need to perform my funeral service in church.
Let the free winds sing for me,
They will sing to my destitute soul.

Well, my body is empty
Cover it with damp earth,
Yes, give him, unbaptized,
Cross, so that I may be forgiven by God.

Don't put flowers on my grave,
Let it be overgrown with lush grass.
Let the forget-me-nots bloom in the spring,
Yes, winter will fall with white snow.

If I die before my time,
Let the white swans carry me away,
Far, far into an unknown land,
High, high into the bright sky...
September 29, 1991, Moscow

“Stars... How often we look at the night sky! How our soul is reborn and healed, filling with starry radiance coming from the distant night sky...
Stars... Stars are happy moments that, having served their time on Earth, rose into the sky and remained there to forever remind themselves at night, when people are freed from everything, can raise their heads and direct their gaze to where their light shines once gone happiness. But sometimes the stars leave the sky and descend to Earth again to illuminate their chosen one with happiness. This is probably why we so often look longingly at the stars in the depths of the night, afraid of missing our lucky star. And even if we don’t find it, then starlight, like a healing balm, lubricates our spiritual wounds, smoothes out the scars on the heart and cleanses us from earthly vanity.”
(From the story "Rain", 1990, Moscow)

My star
My star, don’t shine in sorrow,
Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,
Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?
And heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

Why are you shining uselessly now?
To my pain, which broke my chest?
We will meet you at the edge of the abyss,
I'll fly to you someday...

You know everything - whether it's a lot or a little,
You were with me at every moment on earth,
In happiness you shone so tenderly at me
And cried in the anguish of the nights with me.

We hid our vices behind the light of day
And they fell powerless on the night of passion.
My star, we are too lonely
In the flow of years and hopeless days.

Wounded in battle by the bayonets of lies,
Soul wandering in the depths of centuries,
I couldn't admit defeat
And confession will not remove all shackles.

And now your light is like a revelation,
From the purity of non-crying skies
Calls me to salvation through oblivion...
My star, are you an Angel or a Demon?..
Spring 1994, Novosibirsk

“When night lowers its heavy silk curtain on the theatrical stage of the day, a completely different life begins - a quiet, behind-the-scenes life for everyone.
There comes another intermission in the play. We go backstage to touch up our makeup, take a little break from our role and ask the “Chief Director” again to give the order, in the end, to change the scenery, which is completely inappropriate and only prevents the actors from seeing each other.
I, too, go behind the scenes so that in the darkness, by touch, blindly, I can find you, my Gentle Night Mirage. I find you, my Song, nurture you like a child, and release you to meet the morning star: “See you in the next scene of the play, but for now in the same scenery...”
September 4, 1993, Novosibirsk

Take me with you
Again from me the wind of evil changes
It takes you away
Without leaving me even a shadow in return,
And he won't ask
Maybe I want to fly away with you
Yellow autumn leaves,
A bird behind a blue dream.

Call me with you,
I'll get through the bad nights
I'll go after you
Whatever the path prophesies for me.
I'll come where you are
Draw the sun in the sky
Where are the broken dreams
They regain the power of heights.

How many years have I been looking for you?
In the crowd of passers-by.
I thought you'd be with me forever,
But you're leaving.
Now you won't recognize me in the crowd,
Only, as before, loving,
I'm letting you go.

Every time night falls
To the sleeping city,
I'm running away from the sleepless house
In sadness and cold.
I'm looking for you among faceless dreams,
But at the door of a new day
I'm going again without you.

Musician
The creaky old cart is tired
Night was creeping into a frozen sunset...
And where the strip of light remained,
The musician appeared like a ghost.

He was sent to me by a distant light,
A combination of mysterious stars,
He sang in a low voice
Me about what awaits me next.

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.

We rode side by side in the cart of the night,
The team of stars was driven by the winds,
I was warmed by a gentle gaze
And the melody of dreams until the morning.

And throwing his jacket over my shoulders,
This ghost quietly told me:
"Sing with me and you will feel better,
I only saved myself with song."

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.

The musician was the embodiment of fate,
The unsteady life of my silhouette.
He was sent to me as salvation,
Like a forgotten poet rhyming.

He resurrected me from oblivion.
He gave me back my soul and love.
The musician became my inspiration
And I know that I will meet him again.

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.
1994

“Anyone who has truly loved will understand that this happens. In true love there are always miracles that are understandable only to lovers, which are visible only to kind people who believe in them. Miracles are found in love at every step. You just need to notice them and can't pass by. When they wait for love for a long time and wish for it on the twelfth strike of the New Year's chimes, moreover, they themselves make every effort to bring it closer, then love itself reaches out to such people and bestows them with happiness. And if you believe in this, in miracles, into true love that conquers centuries, then such love, strong and eternal, will come to you."

You won't be able to forget me
You won't be able to forget me,
I will remain a shadow nearby
You fold your arms tiredly,
Looking into the emptiness.

Everything will remain as before
But I'm not with you,
Will you be just as gentle?
But only with emptiness.

And you can’t forget me -
My image is always with you,
In everyday life gray and dull
A quiet voice behind.

The touch of my warm hands
Saved your shoulders
Wedding in our memories
Silent candles will be made.

You won't be able to forget me,
I will remain a shadow nearby.
You fold your hands in doom,
Looking into the emptiness.

This will happen more than once,
Shadows meet twice -
In the light of this luxurious day
And tomorrow - in the darkness of the past.
December 26, 1993, Novosibirsk

“From a certain moment, something switched in my soul. I began to look at someone else’s grief as if from the other side - not from the outside, but from the inside. You need to try to look into the soul of a person, especially an old one. Don’t consider his conversations as absurdity and extravagance, as often happens, but to give a person the opportunity to open your soul, to lay out everything that hurts. After all, sometimes the soul has no one to trust, and you need to be able to help it..."
(From the story "With New Happiness")

We are only guests in this life
And the soul will fly away
And everything will be forgotten.
Well, God will forgive her everything.
If only my soul were light...

Some earlier, some later.
Everything was simple at first.
The further you go, the more difficult it is, and life flies faster,
And we run after her.

Like a candle is hot,
A trickle of wax flows down
Quiet your life
And there's no turning back.
Never swear
Don't promise that you'll live
How life should be.
Look fate in the eye.

We come to life according to the law
All-powerful fate, to replace those who were,
And to those who didn't make it.
Everything will be as God pleases.
And maybe I’ll sing everything that came before me
The one who left did not finish singing.

There are no two ways to go.
And from fate, no matter how hard you try,
Don't leave.
And life will take its toll.

And don't look back
Don't remember your mistakes
On the way, go
And everything will pass.

It hurts so much in our lives,
With a wounded soul we strive for heaven.
And you can be happy with fate,
But you still don’t understand that you exist on earth.
Surrendering to heaven.

And the soul will fly away
And he will forget everything.
Well, God will forgive her everything,
If only my soul were light.
You just have to live like that
To tirelessly give joy and love
To all those who are visiting here.

We are only guests in this life.
We'll stay a little and then we'll leave,
Some earlier, some later...
February 22, 1993, Novosibirsk

We learned about her only after her tragic death in 1995. Only when the prima donna of the national stage, who seemed to have gone into an honorable musical retirement, returned. God knows whether this return would have been triumphant if it had not been for the universally recognized hit: the song based on the poems of Tatyana Snezhina - “Call me with you.”

"My life is a memory that has found warmth in your souls"- Tatyana Snezhina

You can learn about Tatyana Snezhina on the website dedicated to her life and work.

Fate and lyrics by Tatyana Snezhina.

(Literary and musical evening in memory of T. Snezhina)

“Lullaby” by T. Snezhina

Vedas: On a fine day of the Ukrainian spring, May 14, 1972, in the city of Lugansk, a second child, a girl, was born into the family of senior lieutenant of the Soviet army Valery Pechenkin and his wife, a technologist at a local plant, Tatyana, and they named her Tanya. This is how a talented poetess and composer was born, who later became known to everyone as Tatyana Snezhina.

(melody)

Ved: The fate of an officer is not easy and often does not take into account the difficulties of life. That same year, on July 26, Tatyana’s father was sent to serve in the harsh lands of Kamchatka. A month later, his faithful wife, having collected the simple belongings of a military family, holding her seven-year-old son Vadim in one hand, clutching her three-month-old daughter to her chest with the other, flew out after her husband.

Ved: The first expensive purchase in the new place was a piano gift to my beloved wife. Quiet evenings were filled with the divine melodies of Chopin and Beethoven. Tatyana herself recalled that her musical perception of the world was shaped by “the howling of a blizzard outside the window, the crackling of birch logs in the stove and the tender hands of her mother, giving birth to unforgettable melodies.” Tatyana received her first music lessons from her mother at a very young age, at three years old. Later, at the age of four, Tatyana begins to show the makings of acting, staging various kinds of home performances for her family. At the same time, the first own “Rhymes” appeared.

Looked around with a hazy look

Autumn morning silence,

Deceptive sunny bunny

Suddenly it flashed onto the frosted roofs.

Ved: Later, Tanya enters and successfully studies in music and secondary schools. Almost every day the house is filled with friendly neighbors, school friends who come running to her after school to sing songs and eat her mother’s pies. .

(songSong don't fly away summer )

Ved: Good years...life gradually returned to its groove, friends appeared, the beauty of wild nature, comfort and the special atmosphere of a seaside town were all around. And... the family, instead of the three years required by the service, remains in Kamchatka for nine. One day in the summer of 1981, having flown off to visit her grandmother in Ukraine after the second grade, Tatyana was no longer able to return to Kamchatka; her father was sent again, this time to Moscow.

(song “Fog over the city fog”)

Ved: The loss of friends, longing for her home, the amazing and beautiful Kamchatka region, the first lyrical sketches are born in her notebooks. In search of empathy, Tatyana became interested in reading poetry. She is especially attracted to the works of Tsvetaeva, Pasternak, and Heine. Gradually, her sketches begin to take on confident poetic forms. She spends more and more time at the piano. Poems are set to music, sometimes music gives birth to poetry...

(song “We are only guests in this life”)

Ved: Then the talent of an artist is revealed in her. First love. New friends, the beauty of nature - these are the main motives of her work during her school years.

How the nightingale cries,

As soon as the rain stops.

And the raven jumped from the branches,

It circles all day long.

All this is happening strangely

For hundreds of years.

Love comes to us in the spring,

To light a fire in your soul.

As the rain fell on the ground,

Suddenly love came.

And like fog covered the sky,

My mind was clouded.

Suddenly they told me: “You like me”

And just like that, the dream passed so quickly.

I stayed in class with my friend,

And you left school for life. (May 1987)

(song There was a time )

Ved: In 1989, Tatyana entered the Second Medical Institute. It was during this period that Tatyana got her first public. Amateur recordings of her songs, made on a tape recorder, begin to spread among acquaintances, friends, and relatives . (song Ask Me)

“Creative” evenings with friends at the piano are becoming frequent. During this period, many funny and humorous songs and poems appeared in Tatyana’s lyrics.

(songFestival of Lies)

It's great that there is spring,

Cats screaming on the roofs!

How good it is that the world is complete

In the spring it bursts into the windows!

How sweet is the warm breeze,

Bringing awakening with you!

Having succumbed to him, twenty lines

The hand will write in obsession.

How difficult it is at night,

The pond is silvery with moonlight.

On a night like this they go away

Sadness and pain and sleep. And no

More beautiful place on Earth

More beautiful than night and peace,

And only me, hanging out the window,

I managed to see this. (April 1990 Moscow)

Ved: But here again fate intervenes in her life - in 1991, her father was transferred to serve in Siberia, to the city of Ob, Novosibirsk.

Longing again... longing for what I managed to love, what I managed to grow into. These feelings give a new impetus to creativity. Songs are born one after another... especially at night... when no one bothers you, when you don’t have to pretend... sometimes two or three per night . (songIf only I was lucky )

How I miss the rain.

Oh, if only someone knew, God!

How I love my Moscow,

Moscow, which is more valuable than all the earth.

In a country where the sun is constant,

I want to go, run there,

Where is that Solyanka street,

Where there is rain and bustle.

I don't want the fogs of London

We won't meet you there.

My love is given to the capital,

And anyone can find happiness here.

How I miss the rain.

In that apartment in the city center,

which I love so much

Ved: An old piano, destroyed by constant transportation, helps to remember, dream, create... But only for myself. The father, seeing his daughter’s “torment,” makes an expensive gift for the serviceman, then a gift - an “Electronics” synthesizer and gives away his “Jupiter” tape recorder. Now her small room has turned into the ultimate of her dreams - into a “real studio”! Films are being written one after another. At the request of friends and relatives, they write and write and give gifts. Sometimes they just give in. No one still knows exactly how many songs were written and simply given into the wrong hands... irrevocably.

(backgroundMy city )

Ved: The circle of admirers is expanding, the cassettes are selling. One of these tapes ended up in the amateur studio “KiS-S” in Moscow in November 1993. I felt the potential of her work, and the studio staff offered to discuss options for reselling these works to other authors and performers. But Tatyana, having arrived in Moscow, categorically refuses the proposed deal and offers an alternative option - to record a couple of songs performed by her. They recorded... not for free... everyone liked it... It is unknown whether it was the desire to make money, or belief in her talent, but the studio members convince Tatyana to record a music album with them at her expense, assuring that further “promotion and implementation, with their connections in Moscow" they will take over. The dream seemed so close... Tanya, with the support of her family, agreed... From the beginning of 1994, work began on the future album. Tatiana gives her first interviews on the radio. It was then that she took the pseudonym Snezhina. In March 1994, debut at the Variety Theater. For her, it was all for the first time - rehearsals, recordings in the studio, working with arrangers... and all this during short visits to Moscow, during student holidays and on weekends.

(Song my city )

Realizing that she is sorely lacking in experience, Tatyana tries to sing wherever the opportunity presents itself - at student competitions, in nightclubs, and discos. She practices vocals and choreography on her own. In one reputable restaurant in Novosibirsk, after listening to Tatyana, they did a favor by allowing her to perform pop hits several times a week “for free” for their visitors. Once her own song was performed, it caused thunderous applause and... Gradually, Snezhina’s repertoire of songs almost completely replaced the traditional one. The restaurant began to overcrowd on the evenings of her performances - the audience “followed her.”

(Song Sailor )

Ved: Over the course of a year, 21 songs were recorded in the studio, which she dreamed of combining into an album called “Remember with Me.” Tatiana said then: “These are songs that came out of my dialogues with myself, with my soul, from my tears and my joys, from my life.” At the beginning of February 1995, another visit to Moscow. Arrival for the final material. Arriving with a heart full of hope for the “friends from the studio” whom she fell in love with and who promised her a lot. They promised... You can write for a long time about the low quality of the final recordings, about the failure of their “promotion spotlights”, about the demand for additional money... But for a young girl it was simply a betrayal. Full of disappointments, Tatyana returned to Novosibirsk, stopped dreaming, stopped believing in justice, stopped creating.

Deny me evil fate.

Rest without me at least a little.

Let me walk my path in peace.

If you want, betray it! I'll forgive you for this

And I will consider betrayal as happiness.

You offended me, but I don't complain

I endure and go to the arena.

I go out without boots, without a shield and a whip...

Hey, look at the fight!

Stand behind me, in whom the dream trembles,

I promise you a fight without hesitation.

The red-hot sting slides under your hand,

Burning my soul godlessly...

I can no longer be submissive like this,

It is no longer possible to live as before.

Deny, turn away, don't pursue me,

I can no longer vouch for myself,

I'm not afraid of your hooligan - fire,

I already got burned by him...

We lost, that's enough, let's take a break,

Let's keep quiet so that the worries subside.

We'll wave goodbye to each other

And we'll go down different roads.

Deny me, evil fate,

Rest without me at least a little bit.

Don't hold me, let me go, I'll do without you,

Let me walk my path calmly... (“Monologue to Fate”, January 1992, Moscow.)

Ved: End of February 1995. Tatyana, having overcome her disappointment, begins searching for a new creative team in Novosibirsk. Among others, Tatyana Snezhina’s audio material is received and listened to by music producer and head of the M&L Art studio Sergei Bugaev. As he later admitted more than once among his friends, a cassette with her songs quietly migrated from the walls of the studio to his car, and for several weeks he listened to Tanya’s songs, listened, forgetting for a moment that this was material for work.

(SongBe with me )

In March 1995, Tatyana Snezhina received an offer of cooperation from Sergei Bugaev... and a couple of months later - the debut of her new song, “Musician.” “Musician” performed by Kristina Orbakaite, “Dream” by Tatyana Ovsienko, “Song for you” - Mikhail Shufutinsky, “There was a time” - Lev Leshchenko, “House on a High Mountain” - Lolita Milyavskaya, “What is my life worth” - Nikolai Truboch and many others.

(song "Musician" K. Orbakaite)

Ved: The studio was amazed by Tatyana’s talent and is starting to prepare the recording of two more songs. For them, Snezhina was a godsend, because it’s lucky to find both the author of music, songs, and a talented performer in one person. Tatyana began to have her own audience. Victories at competitions, ovations, television interviews and performances, fans. But Tanya did not succumb to the external side of success. She continued to create. She created wherever she could, wrote poems on napkins in cafes, on tickets in transport. .

(song Tram) mixed

Ved: But again, life did not give her a break - studying at the institute, choreography classes, vocal lessons, rehearsals, recordings... It seemed that right now a lucky star was smiling at her - she had a job she loved, a talented producer and friend, a good creative team. After listening to Tatyana’s home tapes and looking at her poetry notebooks, Bugaev once remarked: “Only with this we will have enough work for twenty years.”

It was planned to release a magnetic album in September, then a series of clips, and a laser disc abroad by winter. But, obviously remembering her difficult path to success, about the difficulties that young talents overcome, Tatyana, together with Sergei, create a project for a Charitable Cultural Fund to help young performers. In addition to that, she was preparing to become a doctor next year. There were many goals and tasks ahead, and she could cope with them...

I don't regret anything

Everything that was flowed away in a stream.

What will happen will all pass away on its own,

He will follow you.

If the sun, having made a circle,

Will return again, warming everything around,

So, there will be a new path in the morning,

Tomorrow will be better than yesterday.

If the wind is in the sails,

If the sky is blue in your eyes,

This means that the step on the path will be firm,

So, we must come to happiness.

Ved: And then fate gave Snezhina another gift - Love. In May, Sergei admitted to Tatyana that he loved her, and soon proposed to her to marry him. In July she agrees.

On August 15, 1995, the Europe Plus radio station will report on the upcoming wedding of Bugaev and Snezhina.

(songYour portrait )

Not forgetting about creative plans, they plunge into pleasant chores. We have already bought wedding rings and a wedding dress, and prepared invitations to friends.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy,

Life is foggy, love is homeless.

An abyss of darkness with a dim ray.

The dust of the roads and the light of dawn.

A kite soars over the mountain.

There is smoke above the hut.

There is a tower in the dense forest.

Let it lie wide and wide.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy -

I saw the engagement ring in a dream.

Life is foggy, love is homeless -

The wedding music is not crying for me.

White wedding dress

It doesn’t suit me, they say.

I'll walk down the aisle alone,

Ved: There was less than a month left before the wedding.

Television talked about this event and the young talented singer Tatyana Snezhina. A real shock for those gathered at this “get-together” were unexpectedly performed by Tatyana, instead of pop songs, two romances “My Star” and “If I Die Before My Time...”

My star, don’t shine in sorrow,

Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,

Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?

Both heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

Ved: In three hours, Sergei and Tatyana will leave, and the last thing the public will hear from her lips will be the words of the romance:

If I die before my time,

Let the white swans carry me away

Far, far away, to an unknown land,

High, high, into the bright sky….

On August 18, 1995 at 5 p.m., they and their friends went on a pre-wedding trip to the Altai mountains.

Ved: The last of their loved ones who saw their mutual happiness was Tanya’s mother, when from the window of her house, she watched a small minibus. Who would have known then that he would take them away forever...

(background instrumental)

Because I wanted to change the world,

For carrying yourself proudly,

Because I sang my songs,

But I just couldn’t finish singing.

Because I didn’t wish harm on anyone,

For the fact that I could give joy,

Because I hid my tears,

I paid in full.

Because I never wanted to take revenge,

For walking the clear road,

And I couldn’t see at all,

When resentment burned my soul.

Because she knew how to value friendship,

Because I could love so much,

Because I wanted to fly to the sun,

For this they broke both my wings.

Because I loved freedom so much,

For wishing everyone happiness,

What kind of enemies did I pray to God for?

For this Eden cursed me.

For saving my soul,

Because I just wanted to live -

That's why life didn't love me,

Vedas: “On August 21, 1995, at the 106th kilometer of the Cherepanovskaya highway Barnaul-Novosibirsk, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck. As a result of this road traffic accident, all six passengers of the minibus6, director of the PIONEER MCC Sergei Bugaev, singer Tatyana Snezhina, candidate of sciences Shamil Faizrakhmanov, director of the Masterveet pharmacy Igor Golovin, and his wife, doctor Golovina Irina, died without regaining consciousness. and their five-year-old son Vladik.”

(songWe are no more )- mixed

Ved: Thus, a beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl, a talented poet and composer, Tatyana Snezhina, tragically passed away. During her difficult but bright life, she managed to write more than 200 songs, a large number of poems and works of prose.

Ved: Manuscripts don’t burn. Everything that was created by Tatyana Snezhina will remain with us. Her poems will remain, her songs will remain, her sincerity and kindness will remain, her soul will remain, bright as a wedding dress, which became a funeral dress on that fateful day, and pure as Russian snow.

The song " We are no more"

Prepared by: Bublikova Y.A. 2014

(based on materials from the book “I don’t regret anything”)

Take me with you

1. Again from me the wind of evil changes

It takes you away

Without leaving me even a shadow in return,

And he won't ask

Maybe I want to fly away with you

Yellow autumn leaves, a bird behind a blue dream.

CHORUS: Call me with you,

I'll get through the bad nights

I'll go after you

Whatever the path prophesies for me.

I'll come where you are

Draw the sun in the sky

Where are the broken dreams

They regain the power of heights.

2. How long have I been looking for you through the years?

In the crowd of passers-by.

I thought you'd be with me forever,

But you're leaving.

Now you won't recognize me in the crowd,

Only, as before, loving,

I'm letting you go.

3. Every time night falls

To the sleeping city,

I'm running away from the sleepless house

In sadness and cold.

I'm looking for you among faceless dreams,

But at the door of a new day

I'm going again without you.

Fate and lyrics by Tatyana Snezhina.

(Literary and musical evening in memory of T. Snezhina)

“Lullaby” by T. Snezhina

Ved:On a fine day of the Ukrainian spring, May 14, 1972, in the city of Lugansk, a second child, a girl, was born into the family of senior lieutenant of the Soviet army Valery Pechenkin and his wife, a technologist at a local plant, Tatyana, and they named her Tanya. This is how a talented poetess and composer was born, who later became known to everyone as Tatyana Snezhina.

(melody)

Ved:The fate of an officer is not easy and often does not take into account the difficulties of life. That same year, on July 26, Tatyana’s father was sent to serve in the harsh lands of Kamchatka. A month later, his faithful wife, having collected the simple belongings of a military family, holding her seven-year-old son Vadim in one hand, clutching her three-month-old daughter to her chest with the other, flew out after her husband.

Ved:The first expensive purchase in the new place was a piano gift to his beloved wife. Quiet evenings were filled with the divine melodies of Chopin and Beethoven. Tatyana herself recalled that her musical perception of the world was shaped by “the howling of a blizzard outside the window, the crackling of birch logs in the stove and the tender hands of her mother, giving birth to unforgettable melodies.” Tatyana received her first music lessons from her mother at a very young age, at three years old. Later, at the age of four, Tatyana begins to show the makings of acting, staging various kinds of home performances for her family. At the same time, the first own “Rhymes” appeared.

Looked around with a hazy look

Autumn morning silence,

Deceptive sunny bunny

Suddenly it flashed onto the frosted roofs.

Ved:Later, Tanya enters and successfully studies in music and secondary schools. Almost every day the house is filled with friendly neighbors, school friends who come running to her after school to sing songs and eat her mother’s pies..

(song Song don't fly away summer )

Ved:Good years...life gradually returned to its groove, friends appeared, the beauty of wild nature, comfort and the special atmosphere of a seaside town were all around. And... the family, instead of the three years required by the service, remains in Kamchatka for nine. One day in the summer of 1981, having flown off to visit her grandmother in Ukraine after the second grade, Tatyana was no longer able to return to Kamchatka; her father was sent again, this time to Moscow.

(song “Fog over the city fog”)

Ved:The loss of friends, longing for her home, the amazing and beautiful Kamchatka region, the first lyrical sketches are born in her notebooks. In search of empathy, Tatyana became interested in reading poetry. She is especially attracted to the works of Tsvetaeva, Pasternak, and Heine. Gradually, her sketches begin to take on confident poetic forms. She spends more and more time at the piano. Poems are set to music, sometimes music gives birth to poetry...

(song “We are only guests in this life”)

Ved:Then the talent of an artist is revealed in her. First love. New friends, the beauty of nature - these are the main motives of her work during her school years.

How the nightingale cries,

As soon as the rain stops.

And the raven jumped from the branches,

It circles all day long.

All this is happening strangely

For hundreds of years.

Love comes to us in the spring,

To light a fire in your soul.

As the rain fell on the ground,

Suddenly love came.

And like fog covered the sky,

My mind was clouded.

Suddenly they told me: “You like me”

And just like that, the dream passed so quickly.

I stayed in class with my friend,

And you left school for life. (May 1987)

( song There was a time )

Ved:In 1989, Tatyana entered the Second Medical Institute. It was during this period that Tatyana got her first public. Amateur recordings of her songs, made on a tape recorder, begin to spread among acquaintances, friends, and relatives. (song Ask Me)

“Creative” evenings with friends at the piano are becoming frequent. During this period, many funny and humorous songs and poems appeared in Tatyana’s lyrics.

(song Festival of Lies)

It's great that there is spring,

Cats screaming on the roofs!

How good it is that the world is complete

In the spring it bursts into the windows!

How sweet is the warm breeze,

Bringing awakening with you!

Having succumbed to him, twenty lines

The hand will write in obsession.

How difficult it is at night,

The pond is silvery with moonlight.

On a night like this they go away

Sadness and pain and sleep. And no

More beautiful place on Earth

More beautiful than night and peace,

And only me, hanging out the window,

I managed to see this. (April 1990 Moscow)

Ved:But here again fate intervenes in her life - in 1991, her father was transferred to serve in Siberia, to the city of Ob, Novosibirsk.

How I miss the rain.

Oh, if only someone knew, God!

How I love my Moscow,

Moscow, which is more valuable than all the earth.

In a country where the sun is constant,

I want to go, run there,

Where is that Solyanka street,

Where there is rain and bustle.

I don't want the fogs of London

We won't meet you there.

My love is given to the capital,

And anyone can find happiness here.

How I miss the rain.

In that apartment in the city center,

which I love so much

Ved:An old piano, destroyed by constant transportation, helps to remember, dream, create... But only for myself. The father, seeing his daughter’s “torment,” makes an expensive gift for the serviceman, then a gift - an “Electronics” synthesizer and gives away his “Jupiter” tape recorder. Now her small room has turned into the ultimate of her dreams - into a “real studio”! Films are being written one after another. At the request of friends and relatives, they write and write and give gifts. Sometimes they just give in. No one still knows exactly how many songs were written and simply given into the wrong hands... irrevocably.

(background My city )

Ved:The circle of admirers is expanding, the cassettes are selling. One of these tapes ended up in the amateur studio “KiS-S” in Moscow in November 1993. I felt the potential of her work, and the studio staff offered to discuss options for reselling these works to other authors and performers. But Tatyana, having arrived in Moscow, categorically refuses the proposed deal and offers an alternative option - to record a couple of songs performed by her. They recorded... not for free... everyone liked it... It is unknown whether it was the desire to make money, or belief in her talent, but the studio members convince Tatyana to record a music album with them at her expense, assuring that further “promotion and implementation, with their connections in Moscow" they will take over. The dream seemed so close... Tanya, with the support of her family, agreed... From the beginning of 1994, work began on the future album. Tatiana gives her first interviews on the radio. It was then that she took the pseudonym Snezhina. In March 1994, debut at the Variety Theater. For her, it was all for the first time - rehearsals, recordings in the studio, working with arrangers... and all this during short visits to Moscow, during student holidays and on weekends.

( Song my city )

( Song Sailor )

Ved:Over the course of a year, 21 songs were recorded in the studio, which she dreamed of combining into an album called “Remember with Me.” Tatiana said then: “These are songs that came out of my dialogues with myself, with my soul, from my tears and my joys, from my life.” At the beginning of February 1995, another visit to Moscow. Arrival for the final material. Arriving with a heart full of hope for the “friends from the studio” whom she fell in love with and who promised her a lot. They promised... You can write for a long time about the low quality of the final recordings, about the failure of their “promotion spotlights”, about the demand for additional money... But for a young girl it was simply a betrayal. Full of disappointments, Tatyana returned to Novosibirsk, stopped dreaming, stopped believing in justice, stopped creating.

Deny me evil fate.

Rest without me at least a little.

Let me walk my path in peace.

If you want, betray it! I'll forgive you for this

And I will consider betrayal as happiness.

You offended me, but I don't complain

I endure and go to the arena.

I go out without boots, without a shield and a whip...

Hey, look at the fight!

Stand behind me, in whom the dream trembles,

I promise you a fight without hesitation.

The red-hot sting slides under your hand,

Burning my soul godlessly...

I can no longer be submissive like this,

It is no longer possible to live as before.

Deny, turn away, don't pursue me,

I can no longer vouch for myself,

I'm not afraid of your hooligan - fire,

I already got burned by him...

We lost, that's enough, let's take a break,

Let's keep quiet so that the worries subside.

We'll wave goodbye to each other

And we'll go down different roads.

Deny me, evil fate,

Rest without me at least a little bit.

Don't hold me, let me go, I'll do without you,

Let me walk my path calmly... (“Monologue to Fate”, January 1992, Moscow.)

Ved:End of February 1995. Tatyana, having overcome her disappointment, begins searching for a new creative team in Novosibirsk. Among other things, Tatyana Snezhina’s audio material is received and listened to by the music producer and head of the M & StudioLArt» Sergey Bugaev. As he later admitted more than once among his friends, a cassette with her songs quietly migrated from the walls of the studio to his car, and for several weeks he listened to Tanya’s songs, listened, forgetting for a moment that this was material for work.

(Song Be with me )

( song "Musician" K. Orbakaite)

Ved:The studio was amazed by Tatyana's talent and began preparing to record two more songs. For them, Snezhina was a godsend, because it’s lucky to find both the author of music, songs, and a talented performer in one person. Tatyana began to have her own audience. Victories at competitions, ovations, television interviews and performances, fans. But Tanya did not succumb to the external side of success. She continued to create. She created wherever she could, wrote poems on napkins in cafes, on tickets in transport..

(song Tram) mixed

Ved:But again, life did not give her a break - studying at the institute, choreography classes, vocal lessons, rehearsals, recordings... It seemed that right now a lucky star was smiling at her - she had a job she loved, a talented producer and friend, a good creative team. After listening to Tatyana’s home tapes and looking at her poetry notebooks, Bugaev once remarked: “Only with this we will have enough work for twenty years.”

I don't regret anything

Everything that was flowed away in a stream.

What will happen will all pass away on its own,

He will follow you.

If the sun, having made a circle,

Will return again, warming everything around,

So, there will be a new path in the morning,

Tomorrow will be better than yesterday.

If the wind is in the sails,

If the sky is blue in your eyes,

This means that the step on the path will be firm,

So, we must come to happiness.

Ved:And then fate gave Snezhina another gift - Love. In May, Sergei admitted to Tatyana that he loved her, and soon proposed to her to marry him. In July she agrees.

On August 15, 1995, the Europe Plus radio station will report on the upcoming wedding of Bugaev and Snezhina.

(song Your portrait )

Not forgetting about creative plans, they plunge into pleasant chores. We have already bought wedding rings and a wedding dress, and prepared invitations to friends.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy,

Life is foggy, love is homeless.

An abyss of darkness with a dim ray.

The dust of the roads and the light of dawn.

A kite soars over the mountain.

There is smoke above the hut.

There is a tower in the dense forest.

Let it lie wide and wide.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy -

I saw the engagement ring in a dream.

Life is foggy, love is homeless -

The wedding music is not crying for me.

White wedding dress

It doesn’t suit me, they say.

I'll walk down the aisle alone,

Ved:There was less than a month left before the wedding.

Television talked about this event and the young talented singer Tatyana Snezhina. A real shock for those gathered at this “get-together” were unexpectedly performed by Tatyana, instead of pop songs,two romances “My Star” and “If I Die Before My Time...”

My star, don’t shine in sorrow,

Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,

Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?

Both heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

Ved:In three hours, Sergei and Tatyana will leave, and the last thing the public will hear from her lips will be the words of the romance:

If I die before my time,

Let the white swans carry me away

Far, far away, to an unknown land,

High, high, into the bright sky….

On August 18, 1995 at 5 p.m., they and their friends went on a pre-wedding trip to the Altai mountains.

Ved:The last of their loved ones who saw their mutual happiness was Tanya’s mother, when from the window of her house she watched a small minibus. Who would have known then that he would take them away forever...

(background.instrumental)

Because I wanted to change the world,

For carrying yourself proudly,

Because I sang my songs,

But I just couldn’t finish singing.

Because I didn’t wish harm on anyone,

For the fact that I could give joy,

Because I hid my tears,

I paid in full.

Because I never wanted to take revenge,

For walking the clear road,

And I couldn’t see at all,

When resentment burned my soul.

Because she knew how to value friendship,

Because I could love so much,

Because I wanted to fly to the sun,

For this they broke both my wings.

Because I loved freedom so much,

For wishing everyone happiness,

What kind of enemies did I pray to God for?

For this Eden cursed me.

For saving my soul,

Because I just wanted to live -

That's why life didn't love me,

Ved:“On August 21, 1995, at the 106th kilometer of the Cherepanovskaya highway Barnaul-Novosibirsk, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck. As a result of this road traffic accident, all six passengers of the minibus6, director of the PIONEER MCC Sergei Bugaev, singer Tatyana Snezhina, candidate of sciences Shamil Faizrakhmanov, director of the Masterveet pharmacy Igor Golovin, and his wife, doctor Golovina Irina, died without regaining consciousness. and their five-year-old son Vladik.”

(song We are no more )- mixed

Ved:Thus, a beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl, a talented poet and composer, Tatyana Snezhina, tragically passed away. During her difficult but bright life, she managed to write more than 200 songs, a large number of poems and works of prose.

Ved:Manuscripts don't burn. Everything that was created by Tatyana Snezhina will remain with us. Her poems will remain, her songs will remain, her sincerity and kindness will remain, her soul will remain, bright as a wedding dress, which became a funeral dress on that fateful day, and pure as Russian snow.

The song "We are no more"

Prepared by: Bublikova Y.A. 2014

(based on materials from the book “I don’t regret anything”)

Take me with you

1. Again from me the wind of evil changes

It takes you away

Without leaving me even a shadow in return,

And he won't ask

Maybe I want to fly away with you

Yellow autumn leaves, a bird behind a blue dream.

CHORUS: Call me with you,

I'll get through the bad nights

I'll go after you

Whatever the path prophesies for me.

I'll come where you are

Draw the sun in the sky

Where are the broken dreams

They regain the power of heights.

2. How long have I been looking for you through the years?

In the crowd of passers-by.

I thought you'd be with me forever,

But you're leaving.

Now you won't recognize me in the crowd,

Only, as before, loving,

I'm letting you go.

CHORUS:

3. Every time night falls

To the sleeping city,

I'm running away from the sleepless house

In sadness and cold.

I'm looking for you among faceless dreams,

But at the door of a new day

I'm going again without you.

(1972 - 1995)

Compiled by Selivanova G.G.

I want you to

this life There would be no offense

and evil So that fate

albeit capricious, But picky

was.

Her life was tragically cut short at the height of her talent and love.

Recognition did not have time to accept Tatyana into its arms during her lifetime.

It has come now. Her poetry is known and loved in Russia and abroad.

T Snezhina was born on May 14, 1972 in Ukraine. Her father is a military man. She, her mother and brother were often forced to move to his new place of service.

Mom and Dad are best friends

Tatiana's childhood was cloudless and joyful. Mom taught her daughter to play the piano very early, and later the girl successfully graduated from music school.

Our old piano... When I look at it, it seems to me that all the years it was a member of the family, happy and sad, sick and recovered with me.

I didn’t yet know how to speak, but I was already hitting the keys with my childish fingers, trying to show the world around me my feelings and thoughts.

At a regular school, Tatyana studied very well, she had many friends. She managed to do painting, vocals, and choreography.

1979

Brother Vadim was always nearby. He loved his sister and cared for her tenderly.

Since childhood, dad has been a protector and support.

Nothing's scary with dad on the swing

In subsequent years, the family was forced to change several places of residence: Kamchatka, Moscow, Novosibirsk .

Tatyana was fond of poetry

B. Pasternak, M. Tsvetaeva,

G. Heine.

Great man and

She called I. Talkova a poet.

I started writing poetry myself

at an early age and for his

left a short life

a huge number of songs

and poetry.

Tatyana liked painting. She was a master of paint and loved graphics.

Many people don’t know that she created wonderful paintings.

Student evenings with friends at the club piano became frequent.

In her autobiography, Tatyana would later write: “One of my friends quietly recorded what I sang and played on a tape recorder, and the tapes began to spread among acquaintances, friends, and relatives.

This was my first, and therefore most expensive, edition, the first joy of creative satisfaction. I couldn’t even believe right away that someone else needed what I wrote for myself.”

Fate gave Snezhina another gift - love. About two months after they met, Sergei told Tatyana that he loved her and intended to make her an official proposal to marry him.

Two months later he did it and received consent.

However life ordered differently.

All we know about what happened is the scant police reports and witness statements:

“On August 21, 1995, at the 106th kilometer of the Barnaul-Novosibirsk highway, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck.

As a result of a traffic accident, all six passengers of the minibus died without regaining consciousness: director of the Pioneer MCC Sergei Bugaev, singer Tatyana Snezhina, candidate of sciences Shamil Faizrakhmanov, director of the Master-vet pharmacy Igor Golovin, his wife, doctor Golovina Irina and their five-year-old son Vladik."

Stele in memory of Snezhina in Novosibirsk and Snezhina’s grave at Troekurovskoye cemetery

Let me live without time

Let me live unrighteously.

Just now forgive me

And understand everything correctly.

They say that God selects the best on Earth and takes them to Himself before the time allotted to ordinary people.

He took talent at its very peak, a bride a few days before the wedding, a loved one from family, friends and friends at the very peak of their happiness and joy for Tanya.

Tanya's songs remain. Songs, known and dozens not yet sung. They are waiting for their performers.

SOURCES

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/38_b.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/42_b.jpg

https://media2.nekropole.info/2012/08/ZBPX25z4IQU.jpg

http://photo.qip.ru/photo/andreygoncharov/135040701/xlarge/163515822.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/20_b.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/1_b.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/10_b.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photos/?pf=5&url=0

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/32_b.jpg

http://loviknigu.ru/data/reader/013/58/57.36.jpg

https://content.foto.my.mail.ru/mail/tat-bul536497/_blogs/i-10178.jpg

http://russianpoetry.ru/images/photos/medium/3e165f384e943b40506abbdc43d4f535.jpg

http://www.snezhina.ru/photo/101_b.jpg

http://epitafii.ru/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/photo-Tetyana-Snejina-3-590x442.jpg

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0hHyKFumbfw/maxresdefault.jpg
http://img.bookshop.ua/pic_big/12341985_23.jpg

Tatiana Snezhina. The soul is like a violin. Biography, poems, memories

PREFACE

Dedicated to my family

A lot has already been written about Tatyana Snezhina. There are something like biographies, there are articles about her work. But all this, in my opinion, was written in the style of “statement of facts”: she was born, lived, loved, was loved, wrote songs, poems, paintings, sang and... died. Sometimes, along with the story about certain events in her life, assumptions were made and assessments were given: she was talented, on the verge of mysticism she had a presentiment of her death... Now, looking back, I understand: something was left unsaid, something very personal and therefore important . It seems that in order to understand this girl, to understand how her fate unfolded, how her soul was formed, where the source of her talent is not just mere speculative assumptions, you just need to try to see life through her eyes. Tatyana left behind many paintings, drawings, musical works, poems, sketches, including in prose, a short two-page autobiography, and several first interviews. How much more to imagine her short life, to imagine how she saw this life? But for many years I was haunted by the thought that something elusive, perhaps hidden, that we keep in the very depths of our souls, that she probably kept, still eludes our attention.

In this collection, I tried to reflect in short stories the world in which our family lived, its shades, details, sensations, our feelings that changed as we grew up and as the world around us changed. To show all this through the eyes of my brother, from those moments when, with the happy eyes of a seven-year-old boy, I first looked at this “miracle” - my born sister, to those minutes when I, a man who had the privilege of burying his beloved sister forever, saw Tatyana for the last time .

Tatyana Snezhina left behind many poems, songs and prose sketches. I combined these sketches in this collection because, in my opinion, they are an integral part of her story, and some of the events described probably happened to her, or to me, or to her friends, or... were a reflection of the world , created by her imagination... But these are just thoughts out loud. Only Tatyana knew the answer.

Vadim Pechenkin April 2010

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

The most precious memories of any person are memories of his childhood, father, mother, of that carefree and joyful perception of the world that will never be repeated.

I was born in Ukraine, and my first impressions of life were melodic Ukrainian tunes from the radio near the crib and my mother’s lullaby. I was not even six months old when fate transferred me from a warm, fertile region to the harsh land of Kamchatka. The pristine beauty of Nature... Gray volcanoes, snow-capped hills, the majestic expanse of the ocean. And new childhood experiences: long winter evenings, howling snowstorms outside the window, the crackling of birch logs in the stove and mother’s tender hands giving birth to Chopin’s unforgettable melodies.

Our old piano... I sometimes look at it, and it seems to me that all these years it was a member of the family, happy and sad, sick and healed with me. I didn’t yet know how to speak, but, hitting the keys with my childish fingers, I tried to show the world around me my feelings and thoughts.

Then, at three or four years old, the first “variety” performances. Mom's cosmetics, mom's skirt and something from the 70s repertoire. Remember: “Oh Arlekino, Arlekino...” or even better - “Dark eyes...”. And, of course, thunderous applause from guests and parents who are in love with their child. At the end of the “concerts” - the first nursery rhymes. In one word - Childhood.

Then school and a new move, this time to Moscow. And the first conscious shock in life is the loss of friends who remained thousands of insurmountable kilometers away, in that harsh and beautiful land. And instead of the joyfully playful children's stanzas about “worms and bugs,” sad and at the same time lyrical lines began to come into my head, along with nightly tears for my first love, “which is there, far away, in a distant and harsh land.” They could not yet be called poems, but rather those seeds that were destined to germinate later. And the soil was nourished by volumes of Tsvetaeva, Pasternak, Heine, slipped in unnoticed by the caring hand of the elder brother, who saw and understood everything.

Other people's poems, other people's songs, girlfriend Lena, evenings turning into nights at the piano, all this in public, and at night secretly your own - in a notebook, bad, but your own. And later the first listener is my mother, the person closest to me, and her tears, tears of joy and sadness. Only then did I realize that what I had been nurturing and hiding for many years could evoke feelings not only in me. And gradually the circle of people whom I began to trust, to talk about the most intimate, personal things, began to expand. But that was later, when I entered the 2nd Moscow Medical Institute. I don’t know if it was possible to talk about creativity even then, it’s not for me to judge, but I lived by it, I simply filled my inner loneliness, I thirsted for something beautiful and... unrealizable, and people liked it. Student evenings with friends at the club piano became frequent; one of them quietly recorded what I sang and played on a tape recorder, and the tapes began to be distributed among acquaintances, friends, and relatives. This was my first, and therefore most expensive, edition, the first joy of creative satisfaction. I couldn’t even believe right away that what I wrote for myself was needed by someone else. The old pain gradually subsided, new friends appeared, in short, there were no limits to happiness and carefreeness...

And then HIS death. The death of a great Man and Poet - the death of Igor Talkov... and dreams, dreams about him. How much has not yet been written, how much has not been sung. Why do people so needed by Russia leave early - Pushkin, Lermontov, Vysotsky, Talkov? The dreams were prophetic and difficult. Shock, again a spiritual vacuum. I couldn’t walk, think, write. Friends remained... And a new blow of fate, which, regardless of anything, throws me again thousands of kilometers from home, friends, my life - to Siberia, to the city on the Ob - Novosibirsk. Longing for everything that I had lost, like once, a longing again that did not leave me day or night. And songs began to be born, this time I can say with confidence - just songs, sometimes two or three per night. And outside the window there is still the same snow, maybe that’s why I am Snezhina - snow, cold, emptiness. And calls from the past, from afar, from Moscow, from friends, from my brother: “We are with you. Record something new and go out.” If it weren’t for them... And the tapes, which I had already recorded myself in my home studio, flew to the capital. One of them, by the will of the same fate, accidentally deviated from the assigned route and ended up on Taganka in the KiS-S studio. A day later a call: “Ready to work.” Two hours later I was already at the frozen airport of Novosibirsk, five more - I was going down the dark steps into the holy of holies of my 1994 year, into the studio - I was walking towards my dream. The dream, however, quickly doused me like a bucket of water, in the words of my first arranger Alexander Savelyev: “Work and work... but there is something in it.” I suddenly heard, as it seemed to me then, the divine sounds of a mysterious melody, which after a couple of seconds turned out to be just a talented arrangement of my song from my school years, “Rose.”