She even made every movement with taste. Dominants of small talk in the past and present

Nozdryov was so pushed away with his meringues that he almost flew to the ground: everyone abandoned him and did not listen to him anymore; but still his words about buying dead souls were pronounced at the top of his lungs and accompanied by such loud laughter that they attracted the attention of even those who were in the farthest corners of the room. This news seemed so strange that everyone stopped with a kind of wooden, stupidly questioning expression. Chichikov noticed that many of the ladies winked at each other with some kind of malicious, caustic grin, and in the expression of some faces there seemed to be something ambiguous, which increased this embarrassment even more. That Nozdryov was a notorious liar was known to everyone, and it was not at all unusual to hear decisive nonsense from him; but a mortal, really, it’s hard to even understand how this mortal works: no matter how the news goes, as long as it’s news, he will certainly tell it to another mortal, if only just to say: “Look, what a lie.” disbanded! - and another mortal will bow his ear with pleasure, although later he himself will say: “Yes, this is a completely vulgar lie, not worth any attention!” - and then immediately set off to look for a third mortal, so that, having told him, she would then exclaim with him with noble indignation: “What a vulgar lie!” And this will certainly go around the whole city, and all mortals, no matter how many there are, will certainly talk their fill and then admit that it is not worth attention and not worthy to talk about.

This seemingly absurd incident visibly upset our hero. No matter how stupid the words of a fool are, sometimes they are enough to confuse an intelligent person. He began to feel awkward, something was wrong: just as if he had suddenly stepped into a dirty, stinking puddle with a perfectly cleaned boot; in a word, not good, not good at all! He tried not to think about it, tried to distract himself, to have fun, sat down to whist, but everything went like a crooked wheel: he played someone else’s suit twice and, forgetting that they don’t hit the third, swung with all his might and foolishly grabbed his own. The chairman could not understand how Pavel Ivanovich, who understood the game so well and, one might say, subtly, could make such mistakes and even let down his king of spades, whom he, in his own words, hoped for like a god. Of course, the postmaster and the chairman and even the police chief himself, as usual, made fun of our hero, wondering if he was in love and that we know, they say, that Pavel Ivanovich’s heart is lame, we know who shot him; but all this did not console him, no matter how hard he tried to grin and laugh it off. At dinner, too, he was in no way able to turn around, despite the fact that the company at the table was pleasant and that Nozdryov had long since been taken out; for even the ladies themselves finally noticed that his behavior was becoming too scandalous. In the middle of the cotillion, he sat down on the floor and began to grab the skirts of the dancers, which was no longer like anything, as the ladies put it. The dinner was very cheerful, all the faces flashing in front of the triple candlesticks, flowers, sweets and bottles were illuminated with the most relaxed contentment. Officers, ladies, tailcoats - everything was done politely, even to the point of cloying. The men jumped up from their chairs and ran to take dishes from the servants in order to offer them to the ladies with extraordinary dexterity. One colonel handed the lady a plate of sauce on the end of his naked sword. The men of respectable years, between whom Chichikov sat, argued loudly, eating up a sensible word with fish or beef, mercilessly dipped in mustard, and argued about those subjects in which he even always took part; but he looked like some kind of man, tired or overwhelmed by a long journey, for whom nothing bothers his mind and who is unable to enter into anything. He didn’t even wait until dinner was over and left for his place incomparably earlier than he usually left.

There, in this little room, so familiar to the reader, with the door lined with a chest of drawers and cockroaches sometimes peeking out from the corners, the state of his thoughts and spirit was as restless as the chairs in which he sat. There was an unpleasant, vague feeling in his heart; some kind of painful emptiness remained there. “Damn you all who invented these balls! - he said in his hearts. - Well, what are you foolishly happy about? There are poor harvests in the province, high prices, so they pay for balls! What a thing: they were discharged into women's rags! It’s unheard of for someone to swindle a thousand rubles on herself! But at the expense of peasant dues, or, even worse, at the expense of our brother’s conscience. After all, it is known why you take a bribe and deceive your soul: in order for your wife to get a shawl or various robrons, take them, as they are called. And from what? so that some trickster Sidorovna would not say that the postmistress had a better dress, but because of her, she lost a thousand rubles. They shout: “Ball, ball, fun!” - just a rubbish ball, not in the Russian spirit, not in Russian nature; God knows what it is: an adult, an adult, will suddenly jump out all in black, plucked, dressed like a devil, and let’s kick with his feet. Some even, standing in a pair, talk with the other about an important matter, and at the same time, with their legs, like a kid, monograms to the right and left... Everything is from ape, all from ape! That a Frenchman at forty is the same child as he was at fifteen, so come on, let’s do it too! No, really... after every ball, it’s as if he’d committed some kind of sin; and I don’t even want to remember it. There’s just nothing in my head, like after a conversation with a secular person: he’ll say everything, touch on everything lightly, say everything he pulled from books, colorfully, red, but in his head he’ll at least get something out of it, and you see later how even , a conversation with a simple merchant who knows one thing, but knows it firmly and experiencedly, is better than all these trinkets. Well, what can you get out of it, from this ball? Well, what if some writer decided to describe this whole scene as it is? Well, in the book, she would be just as clueless as in real life. What is it: moral or immoral? God knows what it is! You’ll spit, and then you’ll close the book.” This is how Chichikov spoke unfavorably about balls in general; but it seems that another reason for the indignation intervened. The main annoyance was not about the ball, but about the fact that it happened to be cut short, that he suddenly appeared before everyone in God knows what form, that he played some strange, ambiguous role. Of course, looking with the eye of a prudent man, he saw that all this was nonsense, that a stupid word meant nothing, especially now that the main thing had already been done properly. But he is a strange man: he was greatly upset by the dislike of those very people whom he did not respect and about whom he spoke harshly, blaspheming their vanity and outfits. This was all the more annoying to him because, having analyzed the matter clearly, he saw how he himself was partly the reason for this. However, he was not angry with himself, and in that, of course, he was right. We all have a small weakness to spare ourselves a little, but we will try better to find some neighbor on whom to take out our annoyance, for example, on a servant, on an official subordinate to us, who turned up at the right time, on a wife, or, finally, on a chair that he will be thrown God knows where, right up to the door, so that the handle and back will fly off from him: let him know what anger is. So Chichikov soon found a neighbor who carried on his shoulders everything that annoyance could inspire him with. This neighbor was Nozdryov, and there is nothing to say, he was so finished on all sides and sides, as only some rogue headman or coachman is dressed by some traveling, experienced captain, and sometimes a general, who, in addition to many expressions that have become classical, adds many more unknowns, the invention of which belongs to him. The entire Nozdryov family tree was dismantled, and many of the members of his family in the ascending line suffered greatly.

But as he sat in his hard chair, disturbed by thoughts and insomnia, diligently treating Nozdryov and all his relatives, a tallow candle glowed in front of him, with which the lamp had long been covered with a burnt black cap, every minute threatening to go out, and looked at him the window was a blind, dark night, ready to turn blue from the approaching dawn, and distant roosters were whistling in the distance, and in the completely asleep city, perhaps, a frieze overcoat was trundling somewhere, a wretched man of unknown class and rank, knowing only one (alas!) too worn the path of the Russian people, who have been slaughtered, - at this time, at the other end of the city, an event was taking place that was preparing to increase the unpleasantness of our hero’s situation. Namely, in the remote streets and nooks of the city a very strange carriage was rattling, causing confusion about its name. It did not look like a tarantass, or a carriage, or a britzka, but rather looked like a thick-cheeked, convex watermelon placed on wheels. The cheeks of this watermelon, that is, the doors, which bore traces of yellow paint, closed very poorly due to the poor condition of the handles and locks, somehow connected with ropes. The watermelon was filled with chintz pillows in the form of pouches, bolsters and simple pillows, stuffed with bags of bread, rolls, kokurki, skorodumki and pretzels made from choux pastry. Chicken pie and pickle pie even looked up. The heels were occupied by a person of footman origin, in a jacket made of homespun, with an unshaven beard covered with light gray - a face known as the “small one”. The noise and squeal from the iron staples and rusty screws woke up a baker at the other end of the city, who, raising his halberd, shouted out of sleep at the top of his lungs: “Who’s coming?” - but, seeing that no one was walking, and only rattling could be heard from afar, he caught some kind of animal on his collar and, going up to the lantern, executed it right there on his fingernail. After which, putting away the halberd, he fell asleep again according to the rules of his knighthood. The horses kept falling on their front knees because they were not shod, and, moreover, apparently, the calm city pavement was little familiar to them. The car, having made several turns from street to street, finally turned into a dark alley past the small parish church of St. Nicholas on Nedotychki and stopped in front of the gates of the archpriest’s house. A girl got out of the chaise, with a scarf on her head, in a padded jacket, and grabbed the gate with both fists so hard, even for a man (the little guy in the mottled jacket was later pulled down by the legs, for he was fast asleep). The dogs began to bark, and the gates finally opened up and swallowed, although with great difficulty, this clumsy road work. The crew drove into a cramped yard littered with firewood, chicken coops and all sorts of cages; A lady got out of the carriage: this lady was a landowner, Korobochka’s collegiate secretary. Soon after our hero’s departure, the old woman became so worried about what might happen from his deception that, having not slept for three nights in a row, she decided to go to the city, despite the fact that the horses were not shod, and there she would probably find out why dead souls walk and Surely she missed the mark, God forbid, by selling them, perhaps, at a fraction of the price. What effect this arrival had, the reader can learn from one conversation that took place between two ladies. This conversation... but it’s better to have this conversation in the next chapter.

Chapter Nine

In the morning, even earlier than the time appointed for visits in the city of N., a lady in a dandy checkered blouse fluttered out of the door of an orange wooden house with a mezzanine and blue columns, accompanied by a footman in an overcoat with several collars and gold braid on a round polished hat. At the same hour, the lady fled with extraordinary haste up the folded steps into the carriage standing at the entrance. The footman immediately slammed the door on the lady, threw her down the steps and, grabbing the straps behind the carriage, shouted to the coachman: “Go!” The lady was carrying the news she had just heard and felt an irresistible urge to tell it quickly. Every minute she looked out of the window and saw, to her unspeakable chagrin, that she was still halfway there. Every house seemed longer than usual to her; The white stone almshouse with narrow windows dragged on for an unbearably long time, so that she finally could not bear not to say: “This is a damned building, and there is no end!” The coachman has already received the order twice: “Hurry, hurry, Andryushka! You’re taking an unbearably long time today!” Finally the goal was achieved. The carriage stopped in front of a one-story wooden house of a dark gray color, with white bas-reliefs above the windows, with a high wooden lattice in front of the windows and a narrow front garden, behind the lattice of which the thin trees that were located were whitened from the city dust that never left them. Pots of flowers flashed through the windows, a parrot swinging in a cage, clinging to a ring with its nose, and two little dogs sleeping in front of the sun. A sincere friend of the visiting lady lived in this house. The author is extremely at a loss as to how to name both ladies in such a way that they will not be angry with him again, as they were angry of old. It is dangerous to give a fictitious surname. Whatever name you come up with, you will certainly find it in some corner of our state, fortunately, someone bearing it will certainly be angry not to death, but to death, and will begin to say that the author came secretly on purpose in order to find out everything that he is, and what sheepskin coat he wears, and what Agrafena Ivanovna he visits, and what he likes to eat. Call them by rank - God forbid, and even more dangerous. Now all ranks and classes among us are so irritated that everything that is in a printed book already seems to them to be a person: such, apparently, is the mood in the air. It is enough to just say that there is a stupid person in one city, this is already a person; suddenly a gentleman of respectable appearance will jump out and shout: “After all, I am also a man, therefore, I am also stupid,” - in a word, he will instantly realize what’s going on. And therefore, to avoid all this, we will call the lady to whom the guest came, as she was called almost unanimously in the city of N.: namely, a pleasant lady in all respects. She acquired this name in a legal way, because, of course, she spared nothing to become amiable to the last degree, although, of course, through the amiability, oh, what a bright agility of a woman’s character crept in! and although sometimes in every pleasant word of hers, what a pin stuck out! and God forbid what was boiling in the heart against the one who would somehow and somehow get through to the first. But all this was clothed in the most subtle secularism that only happens in a provincial city. She made all sorts of movements with taste, she even loved poetry, she even sometimes knew how to hold her head dreamily - and everyone agreed that she was definitely a pleasant lady in all respects. The other lady, that is, the one who arrived, did not have such versatility in her character, and therefore we will call her: just a pleasant lady. The arrival of the guest woke up the little dogs, shining in the sun: shaggy Adele, constantly getting tangled in her own fur, and the male Popuri on thin legs. Both of them, barking, carried their tails in rings into the hallway, where the guest freed herself from her tuft and found herself in a dress of a fashionable pattern and color and long tails around her neck; jasmines flew throughout the room. As soon as the otherwise pleasant lady found out about the arrival of a simply pleasant lady, she already ran into the hallway. The ladies grabbed hands, kissed and screamed, as college girls scream when they meet soon after graduation, when their mothers have not yet had time to explain to them that one’s father is poorer and of lower rank than the other’s. The kiss took place loudly, because the dogs began to bark again, for which they were slapped with a handkerchief, and both ladies went into the living room, blue, of course, with a sofa, an oval table and even screens entwined with ivy; after them ran, grumbling, shaggy Adele and tall Popuri on thin legs. “Here, here, in this corner! - the hostess said, seating the guest in the corner of the sofa. - Like this! like this! here’s your pillow!” Having said this, she pushed a pillow behind her back, on which a knight was embroidered with wool in the same way as they are always embroidered on canvas: the nose came out like a ladder, and the lips like a quadrangle. “I’m so glad that you... I hear someone driving up, but I think to myself who could do it so early. Parasha says: “vice-governor,” and I say: “well, the fool has come to bother me again,” and I just wanted to say that I’m not at home...”

The guest was about to get down to business and break the news. But the exclamation that the lady, pleasant in all respects, uttered at that time, suddenly gave a different direction to the conversation.

What a cheerful chintz! - exclaimed a pleasant lady in all respects, looking at the dress of a simply pleasant lady.

Yes, very funny. Praskovya Fedorovna, however, finds that it would be better if the cells were smaller, and that the specks were not brown, but blue. They sent her sister a piece of cloth: it is such a charm that simply cannot be expressed in words; Imagine: the stripes are as narrow as the human imagination can imagine, the background is blue and through the stripes there are eyes and paws, eyes and paws, eyes and paws... In a word, incomparable! We can say decisively that there has never been anything like it in the world.

Honey, it's colorful.

Oh, no, not colorful.

Ah, colorful!

It should be noted that in all respects the pleasant lady was partly a materialist, prone to denial and doubt, and rejected quite a lot in life.

Here a simply pleasant lady explained that this was by no means colorful, and cried out:

Yes, congratulations: they don't wear frills anymore.

Why don't they wear it?

In their place are scallops.

Oh, this is not good, scallops!

Scallops, all scallops: a cape made of scallops, scallops on the sleeves, epaulettes made of scallops, scallops below, scallops everywhere.

It’s not good, Sofya Ivanovna, if everything is scalloped.

Sweet, Anna Grigorievna, incredibly; it is sewn with two rib stitches: wide armholes and at the top... But now, that’s when you’ll be amazed, that’s when you’ll say that... Well, be amazed: imagine, the bras have gone even longer, with a toe in front, and the front bone is completely out of bounds; the whole skirt gathers around, as it used to be in the old days, they even put a little cotton wool on the back so that there is a perfect belle femme.

Well, it’s simple: I confess! - said the lady, pleasant in all respects, making a movement of her head with a sense of dignity.

Exactly, that’s for sure, I admit,” the simply pleasant lady answered.

Whatever you want, I will never imitate this.

Me too... Really, as you can imagine, what fashion can sometimes come to... is unlike anything else! I begged my sister for a pattern on purpose for fun; My Melania began to sew.

So do you have a pattern? - the pleasant lady in all respects cried out, not without a noticeable movement of the heart.

Well, my sister brought it.

My soul, give it to me for the sake of all that is holy.

Oh, I already gave my word to Praskovya Fedorovna. Perhaps after it?

Who will wear it after Praskovya Fedorovna? It will be too strange on your part if you prefer strangers to your own.

Why, she is also my great aunt.

God knows what kind of aunt she is to you: on her husband’s side... No, Sofya Ivanovna, I don’t even want to hear it, it comes out like this: you want to inflict such an insult on me... Apparently, you are already bored with me, apparently you want to stop all acquaintance with me.

Poor Sofya Ivanovna did not know at all what to do. She felt herself between what strong fires she had placed herself. So I bragged about you! She would be ready to prick her stupid tongue with needles for this.

Well, what about our charmer? - Meanwhile, the lady, pleasant in all respects, said.

Oh my god! Why am I sitting like this in front of you! that's good! After all, you know, Anna Grigorievna, what I came to you with? - Here the guest’s breath choked, the words, like hawks, were ready to set off in pursuit one after another, and only one had to be as inhuman as a sincere friend was in order to decide to stop her.

No matter how you praise and extol him,” she said with more vivacity than usual, “but I will tell him straight, and I will tell him to his face that he is a worthless person, worthless, worthless, worthless.

Just listen to what I will reveal to you...

They spread rumors that he was good, but he is not good at all, not good at all, and his nose is... the most unpleasant nose.

Let me, let me just tell you... darling, Anna Grigorievna, let me tell you! After all, this is history, you understand: history, sconapelle istoar,” said the guest with an expression of almost despair and a completely pleading voice. It doesn’t hurt to notice that a lot of foreign words and sometimes long French phrases were mixed into the conversation of both ladies. But no matter how the author is filled with reverence for the saving benefits that the French language brings to Russia, no matter how filled with reverence for the laudable custom of our high society, speaking in it at all hours of the day, of course, out of a deep feeling of love for the fatherland, but for all that, in no way he does not dare to introduce a phrase of any foreign language into this Russian poem of his. So, let's continue in Russian.

What's the story?

Oh, my life, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine the situation in which I was, imagine: the archpriest comes to me today - the archpriest, Kirila’s father’s wife - and what would you think: our humble one, a newcomer ours, what is it like?

How, did he really build chickens like his predecessor?

Ah, Anna Grigorievna, even if there were only chickens, that would be nothing; Just listen to what the archpriest told: the landowner Korobochka came to her, she says, frightened and pale as death, and she tells, and as she tells, just listen, a perfect romance: suddenly, in the dead of midnight, when everyone was already asleep in the house, there is a sound at the gate a knock, the most dangerous one imaginable; They shout: “Open, open, otherwise the gate will be broken down!” How will it feel to you? What is the charmer like after this?

But Korobochka, isn’t she young and pretty?

Not at all, old woman.

Oh, the delights! So he set to work on the old woman. Well, the taste of our ladies is good after that, they found someone to fall in love with.

But no, Anna Grigorievna, it’s not at all what you think. Just imagine something like Rinald Rinaldin, armed from head to toe, and demanding: “Sell,” he says, “all the souls that have died.” The box answers very reasonably, saying: “I can’t sell them because they are dead.” - “No, he says, they are not dead, it is my business, he says, to know whether they are dead or not, they are not dead, not dead, he shouts, not dead.” In a word, he created a terrible scandal: the whole village came running, the children were crying, everyone was screaming, no one understood anyone, well, just orrer, orrer, orrer!.. But you can’t imagine, Anna Grigorievna, how alarmed I was when I heard all this. “My dear lady,” Mashka tells me. - Look in the mirror: you are pale.” - “There’s no time for the mirror, I say, I have to go tell Anna Grigorievna.” At that very moment I order the carriage to be laid: the coachman Andryushka asks me where to go, but I can’t say anything, I just look into his eyes like a fool; I think he thought I was crazy. Oh, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine how worried I was!

“This, however, is strange,” said the pleasant lady in all respects, “what could these dead souls mean?” I admit, I understand absolutely nothing here. This is the second time I hear everything about these dead souls; and my husband still says that Nozdryov is lying; Surely there is something.

But imagine, Anna Grigorievna, what my position was when I heard this. “And now,” says Korobochka, “I don’t know, he tells me what to do. He forced me, he says, to sign some kind of false paper, threw me fifteen rubles in banknotes; I, he says, am an inexperienced, helpless widow, I don’t know anything...” So these are the incidents! But only if you could just imagine how worried I was.

But, as you please, there are not dead souls here, something else is hiding here.

“I admit, too,” said the simply pleasant lady, not without surprise, and immediately felt a strong desire to find out what could be hiding here. She even said deliberately: “Well, do you think someone is hiding here?”

Well, what do you think?

What do I think?.. I admit, I am completely lost.

But, however, I would still like to know, what are your thoughts about this?

But the pleasant lady had nothing to say. She only knew how to worry, but in order to form some kind of smart guess, she was in no way available for this, and therefore, more than anyone else, she had a need for tender friendship and advice.

“Well, listen to what these dead souls are,” said the lady, pleasant in all respects, and at such words the guest’s ears became all ears: her ears stretched out of their own accord, she stood up, almost unable to sit or support herself on the sofa, and, despite Although it was somewhat heavy, it suddenly became thinner, became like light fluff that would fly into the air just like that with a breath.

So a Russian gentleman, a dog and a hunter, approaching the forest, from which a hare, trampled by the arrivals, is about to jump out, all with his horse and a raised arapnik in one frozen moment, turns into gunpowder, to which fire is about to be brought. He fixed his eyes firmly on the muddy air and was about to overtake the beast, the unstoppable one would finish him off, no matter how the whole turbulent snowy steppe rose up against him, sending silver stars into his mouth, into his mustache, into his eyes, into his eyebrows and into his beaver hat.

Dead souls... - said a pleasant lady in all respects.

I'm sorry, what? - the guest picked up, all in excitement.

Dead Souls!..

Oh, speak, for God's sake!

This was just made up as a cover, but the point is this: he wants to take away the governor’s daughter.

This conclusion, of course, was in no way unexpected and in all respects unusual. The pleasant lady, having heard this, froze on the spot, turned pale, turned pale as death and, as if, was seriously worried.

Oh my god! - she screamed, clasping her hands, - I could never have imagined this.

“And I admit, as soon as you opened your mouth, I already realized what was going on,” answered the lady, pleasant in all respects.

But what is college education like after that, Anna Grigorievna! after all, this is innocence!

What innocence! I heard her make such speeches that, I confess, I would not have the courage to utter them.

You know, Anna Grigorievna, it simply tears your heart apart when you see what immorality has finally reached.

And men are crazy about her. But for me, I admit, I don’t find anything in her... The mannerism is unbearable.

Ah, my life, Anna Grigorievna, she is a statue, and at least she has some expression on her face.

Oh, how mannered! oh, how mannered! God, how mannered! I don’t know who taught her, but I have never seen a woman with so much affectation.

Darling! she is a statue and pale as death.

Oh, don’t tell me, Sofya Ivanovna: she’s blushing shamelessly.

Oh, what are you, Anna Grigorievna: she is chalk, chalk, pure chalk.

Darling, I was sitting next to her: the blush was as thick as a finger and was falling off like plaster, in pieces. The mother learned it, she is a coquette herself, and the daughter will still surpass her mother.

Well, let me, well, make whatever oath you want, I’m ready this very hour to lose my children, my husband, my entire property, if she has even one drop, even a particle, even the shadow of some kind of blush!

Oh, why are you saying this, Sofya Ivanovna! - said the lady, pleasant in all respects, and clasped her hands.

Oh, what are you really like, Anna Grigorievna! I look at you in amazement! - said the pleasant lady and also clasped her hands.

Let it not seem strange to the reader that both ladies disagreed with each other about what they saw almost at the same time. There are, of course, many things in the world that already have this property: if one lady looks at them, they come out completely white, but another lady looks at them, they come out red, red like lingonberries.

Well, here’s more proof for you that she is pale,” the pleasant lady continued, “I remember, as now, that I was sitting next to Manilov and telling him: “Look how pale she is!” Really, you have to be as stupid as our men to admire her. And our charmer... Oh, how disgusting he seemed to me! You cannot imagine, Anna Grigorievna, to what extent he seemed disgusting to me.

Yes, however, there were some ladies who were not indifferent to him.

Me, Anna Grigorievna? You can never say this, never, never!

Yes, I don’t talk about you as if there is no one besides you.

Never, never, Anna Grigorievna! Let me tell you that I know myself very well; and perhaps from some other ladies who play the role of unavailable.

Excuse me, Sofya Ivanovna! Let me tell you that such scandals have never happened to me before. For anyone else, and certainly not for me, let me point this out to you.

Why are you offended? after all, there were other ladies there, there were even those who were the first to grab a chair at the door in order to sit closer to him.

Well, after such words uttered by a pleasant lady, a storm should have inevitably followed, but, to the greatest amazement, both ladies suddenly calmed down, and absolutely nothing followed. In all respects, the pleasant lady remembered that the pattern for a fashionable dress was not yet in her hands, but the pleasant lady simply realized that she had not yet had time to find out any details about the discovery made by her sincere friend, and therefore peace followed very quickly. However, both ladies cannot be said to have in their nature the need to cause trouble, and in general there was nothing evil in their characters, and so, insensitively, in the conversation a small desire was born by itself to prick each other; It’s just that, out of a little pleasure, each other will, on occasion, slip in another lively word: here, they say, for you! here, take it, eat it! There are different kinds of needs in the hearts of both male and female.

“I cannot, however, understand,” said the simply pleasant lady, “how Chichikov, being a visiting person, could decide on such a brave passage. It cannot be that there are no participants here.

Do you think there are none?

Who do you think could help him?

The arrival of the guest woke up the little dogs, shining in the sun: shaggy Adele, constantly getting tangled in her own fur, and the male Popuri on thin legs. Both of them, barking, carried their tails in rings into the hallway, where the guest freed herself from her tuft and found herself in a dress of a fashionable pattern and color and long tails around her neck; jasmines flew throughout the room. As soon as the otherwise pleasant lady found out about the arrival of a simply pleasant lady, she already ran into the hallway. The ladies grabbed hands, kissed and screamed, as college girls scream when they meet soon after graduation, when their mothers have not yet had time to explain to them that one’s father is poorer and of lower rank than the other’s. The kiss took place loudly, because the dogs began to bark again, for which they were slapped with a handkerchief, and both ladies went into the living room, blue, of course, with a sofa, an oval table and even screens entwined with ivy; after them ran, grumbling, shaggy Adele and tall Popuri on thin legs. “Here, here, in this corner! - the hostess said, seating the guest in the corner of the sofa. - Like this! like this! here’s your pillow!” Having said this, she pushed a pillow behind her back, on which a knight was embroidered with wool in the same way as they are always embroidered on canvas: the nose came out like a ladder, and the lips like a quadrangle. “I’m so glad that you. I hear someone driving up, but I think to myself who could do it so early. Parasha says: “vice-governor,” and I say: “well, the fool has come to bother me again,” and I really wanted to say that I’m not at home. »

The guest was about to get down to business and break the news. But the exclamation that the lady, pleasant in all respects, uttered at that time, suddenly gave a different direction to the conversation.

What a cheerful chintz! - exclaimed a pleasant lady in all respects, looking at the dress of a simply pleasant lady.

Yes, very funny. Praskovya Fedorovna, however, finds that it would be better if the cells were smaller, and that the specks were not brown, but blue. They sent her sister a piece of cloth: it is such a charm that simply cannot be expressed in words; Imagine: the stripes are as narrow as the human imagination can imagine, the background is blue and through the stripes are all the eyes and paws, eyes and paws, eyes and paws. In a word, incomparable! We can say decisively that there has never been anything like it in the world.

Well, what about our charmer? - Meanwhile, the lady, pleasant in all respects, said.

Oh my god! Why am I sitting like this in front of you! that's good! After all, you know, Anna Grigorievna, what I came to you with? - Here the guest’s breath choked, the words, like hawks, were ready to set off in pursuit one after another, and only one had to be as inhuman as a sincere friend was in order to decide to stop her.

No matter how you praise and extol him,” she said with more vivacity than usual, “but I will tell him straight, and I will tell him to his face that he is a worthless person, worthless, worthless, worthless.

Just listen to what I will reveal to you.

They spread rumors that he was good, but he is not good at all, not good at all, and he has a nose. the most unpleasant nose.

Let me, let me just tell you. darling, Anna Grigorievna, let me tell you! After all, this is history, you understand: history, sconapelle istoar,” said the guest with an expression of almost despair and a completely pleading voice.

What's the story?

Oh, my life, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine the situation in which I was, imagine: the archpriest comes to me today - the archpriest, Kirila’s father’s wife - and what would you think: our humble one, a newcomer ours, what is it like?

How, did he really build chickens like his predecessor?

Ah, Anna Grigorievna, even if there were only chickens, that would be nothing; Just listen to what the archpriest told: the landowner Korobochka came to her, she says, frightened and pale as death, and she tells, and as she tells, just listen, a perfect romance: suddenly, in the dead of midnight, when everyone was already asleep in the house, there is a sound at the gate a knock, the most dangerous one imaginable; They shout: “Open, open, otherwise the gate will be broken down!” How will it feel to you? What is the charmer like after this?

But Korobochka, isn’t she young and pretty?

Oh, the delights! So he set to work on the old woman. Well, the taste of our ladies is good after that, they found someone to fall in love with.

But no, Anna Grigorievna, it’s not at all what you think. Just imagine something like Rinald Rinaldin, armed from head to toe, and demanding: “Sell,” he says, “all the souls that have died.” The box answers very reasonably, saying: “I can’t sell them because they are dead.” - “No, he says, they are not dead, it is my business, he says, to know whether they are dead or not, they are not dead, not dead, he shouts, not dead.” In a word, the scandal caused a terrible thing: the whole village came running, the children were crying, everyone was screaming, no one understood anyone, well, it was just orrer, orrer, orrer. But you can’t imagine, Anna Grigorievna, how alarmed I was when I heard all this. “My dear lady,” Mashka tells me, “look in the mirror: you are pale.” - “There’s no time for the mirror, I say, I have to go tell Anna Grigorievna.” At that very moment I order the carriage to be laid: the coachman Andryushka asks me where to go, but I can’t say anything, I just look into his eyes like a fool; I think he thought I was crazy. Oh, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine how worried I was!

“This, however, is strange,” said the pleasant lady in all respects, “what could these dead souls mean?” I admit, I understand absolutely nothing here. This is the second time I’ve heard everything about these dead souls; and my husband still says that Nozdryov is lying; Surely there is something.

The lady, pleasant in all respects, had her own thoughts about dead souls. In her opinion, dead souls are just a cover, and the whole point is that Chichikov wants to take away the governor’s daughter. Hearing this conclusion, the pleasant lady turned deathly pale and admitted that she could not even imagine such a thing.

“I cannot, however, understand,” said the simply pleasant lady, “how Chichikov, being a visiting person, could decide on such a brave passage. It cannot be that there are no participants here.

Do you think there are none?

Who do you think could help him?

Well, at least Nozdryov.

So what? after all, he will be on it. You know, he wanted to sell his own father or, even better, lose him at cards.

Oh, my God, what interesting news I learn from you! I could never imagine that Nozdryov would be involved in this story!

And I always assumed.

Just think, really, what doesn’t happen in the world! Well, was it possible to imagine when, remember, Chichikov had just arrived in our city, that he would make such a strange march in the world? Oh, Anna Grigorievna, if you only knew how worried I was! If it were not for your favor and friendship. now, for sure, on the brink of death. where to? My Masha sees that I am pale as death. “Dear lady,” she tells me, “you are as pale as death.” - “Masha, I say, I have no time for that now.” So this is the case! So Nozdryov is here, I humbly ask!

The pleasant lady really wanted to find out further details about the abduction, that is, what time it was, etc., but she wanted a lot. In all respects, the pleasant lady directly responded with ignorance.

When the ladies were discussing the details of what had happened, the prosecutor entered the living room “with his eternally motionless face.” The ladies immediately began to tell him the latest news: about the purchase of dead souls, about Chichikov’s intention to take away the governor’s daughter. But the prosecutor could not understand anything, and continued to stand in one place, sweeping tobacco from his beard with a handkerchief and batting his left eye. “The two ladies left him there and each went in their own direction to riot the city,” and for this it took them about half an hour. Everything in the city “went into ferment,” although no one could understand anything. The ladies managed to “create such a fog” that all the officials were stunned - “the dead souls, the governor’s daughter and Chichikov got confused and mixed up in their heads in an unusually strange way,” and only after some time they began to separate one from the other and try at least something figure it out, and were angry because no one could really explain anything to them.

What kind of parable, really, what kind of parable are these dead souls? There is no logic in dead souls; how to buy dead souls? where would such a fool come from? and with what blind money will he buy them? and to what end, to what cause can these dead souls be pinned? and why did the governor’s daughter interfere here? If he wanted to take her away, then why buy dead souls for this? If you buy dead souls, then why take away the governor’s daughter? Did he want to give her these dead souls? What kind of nonsense was really being spread around the city? What kind of direction is this, that you won’t have time to turn around, and then they’ll release the story, and at least there would be some meaning. However, they smashed it, so there was some reason? What is the reason for dead souls? There's not even a reason. This, it turns out, is simple: Androns are driving, nonsense, rubbish, soft-boiled boots! It's just damn. In a word, there was talk and talk, and the whole city started talking about dead souls and the governor’s daughter, about Chichikov and dead souls, about the governor’s daughter and Chichikov, and everything that was there rose up. Like a whirlwind, the hitherto dormant city was thrown up! All the tyuryuks and boibaks, who had been lying in their dressing gowns for several years at home, crawled out of their holes, blaming either the shoemaker who sewed the narrow boots, or the tailor, or the drunken coachman. All those who had long ago ceased all acquaintances and knew only, as they say, the landowners Zavalishin and Polezhaev (famous terms derived from the verbs “lie down” and “fall over”, which are in great use in our Russia, just like the phrase: go to Sopikov and Khrapovitsky, meaning all sorts of dead dreams on the side, on the back and in all other positions, with snoring, nasal whistles and other accessories); all those who could not be lured out of the house even by an invitation for a five-hundred-ruble fish soup with two-arshine sterlets and all sorts of melt-in-your-mouth kulebyaks; in a word, it turned out that the city was crowded, and large, and properly populated. Some Sysoy Pafnutievich and McDonald Karlovich appeared, whom we had never heard of before; Sticking around in the living rooms was a long, long man with a bullet through his arm, so tall the likes of which had never even been seen. Covered droshky, unknown rulers, rattlers, wheel whistles appeared on the streets - and a mess started brewing.

In the bustle of the city, two completely opposite opinions emerged and two parties were formed: male and female. The men's party discussed dead souls, the women's party discussed the abduction of the governor's daughter. The pretty blonde had a serious conversation with her mother, after which many interrogations, reproaches and threats followed. The governor's wife ordered not to accept Chichikov under any circumstances. As for the men, some suggested that Chichikov was sent for inspection and the words “dead souls” meant patients who died in significant numbers from epidemic fever. At this time, an event occurred in the province that always puts officials in an alarming state - a new governor-general had just been appointed. Therefore, everyone, remembering their sins, saw what happened as a threat to themselves.

“As if on purpose, at a time when gentlemen officials were already in a difficult situation, two papers came to the governor at once”: one about a counterfeiter hiding under different names, and the other about an escaped robber. These papers confused everyone. And although they could not be directly connected with Chichikov, all the officials noticed that they did not know who he really was. They questioned those who sold him dead souls, but things didn’t become any clearer. They also learned a little from Petrushka and Selifan - that they served in the civil service and at customs. And to clarify the matter, they decided to meet with the police chief.

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CHAPTER NINE In the morning, even earlier than the time appointed in the city of N. for visits, a lady in a dandy checkered blouse fluttered out of the door of an orange wooden house with a mezzanine and blue columns, accompanied by a footman in an overcoat with several collars and gold braid on a round polished hat. At the same hour, the lady fled with extraordinary haste up the folded steps into the carriage standing at the entrance. The footman immediately slammed the door on the lady, threw her up the steps and, grabbing the straps behind the carriage, shouted to the coachman: “Go!” The lady was carrying the news she had just heard and felt an irresistible urge to tell it quickly. Every minute she looked out of the window and saw, to her unspeakable chagrin, that she was still halfway there. Every house seemed longer than usual to her; The white stone almshouse with narrow windows dragged on for an unbearably long time, so that she finally could not bear to say: “This is a damned building, and there is no end!” The coachman has already received the order twice: “Hurry up, hurry up, Andryushka! You’re taking an unbearably long time today!” Finally the goal was achieved. The carriage stopped in front of a one-story wooden house of a dark gray color, with white bas-reliefs above the windows, with a high wooden lattice in front of the windows and a narrow front garden, behind the lattice of which the thin trees that were located were whitened from the city dust that never left them. Pots of flowers flashed through the windows, a parrot swinging in a cage, clinging to a ring with its nose, and two little dogs sleeping in front of the sun. A sincere friend of the visiting lady lived in this house. The author is extremely at a loss as to how to name both ladies in such a way that they will not be angry with him again, as they were angry of old. It is dangerous to give a fictitious surname. Whatever name you come up with, you will certainly find it in some corner of our state, fortunately, someone bearing it will certainly be angry not to death, but to death, and will begin to say that the author came secretly on purpose in order to find out everything that he is, and what sheepskin coat he wears, and what Agrafena Ivanovna he visits, and what he likes to eat. Call them by rank - God forbid, and even more dangerous. Now all ranks and classes among us are so irritated that everything that is in a printed book already seems to them to be a person: such, apparently, is the mood in the air. It is enough to just say that there is a stupid person in one city, this is already a person; suddenly a gentleman of respectable appearance will jump out and shout: “After all, I am also a man, therefore, I am also stupid,” - in a word, he will instantly realize what’s going on. And therefore, to avoid all this, we will call the lady to whom the guest came, as she was called almost unanimously in the city of N.: namely, a pleasant lady in all respects. She acquired this name in a legal way, because, of course, she spared nothing to become amiable to the last degree, although, of course, through the amiability, oh, what a bright agility of a woman’s character crept in! and although sometimes in every pleasant word of hers, what a pin stuck out! and God forbid what was boiling in the heart against the one who would somehow and somehow get through to the first. But all this was clothed in the most subtle secularism that only happens in a provincial city. She made all sorts of movements with taste, she even loved poetry, she even sometimes knew how to hold her head dreamily - and everyone agreed that she was definitely a pleasant lady in all respects. The other lady, that is, the one who arrived, did not have such versatility in her character, and therefore we will call her: just a pleasant lady. The arrival of the guest woke up the little dogs, shining in the sun: shaggy Adele, constantly getting tangled in her own fur, and the male Popuri on thin legs. Both of them, barking, carried their tails in rings into the hallway, where the guest freed herself from her tuft and found herself in a dress of a fashionable pattern and color and long tails around her neck; jasmines flew throughout the room. As soon as the otherwise pleasant lady found out about the arrival of a simply pleasant lady, she already ran into the hallway. The ladies grabbed hands, kissed and screamed, as college girls scream when they meet soon after graduation, when their mothers have not yet had time to explain to them that one’s father is poorer and of lower rank than the other’s. The kiss took place loudly, because the little dogs began to bark again, for which they were slapped with a handkerchief, and both lamas went into the living room, blue, of course, with a sofa, an oval table and even screens entwined with ivy; after them ran, grumbling, shaggy Adele and tall Popuri on thin legs. “Here, here, in this corner!” the hostess said, seating the guest in the corner of the sofa. “That’s it! That’s it! Here’s a pillow for you!” Having said this, she pushed a pillow behind her back, on which a knight was embroidered with wool in the same way as they are always embroidered on canvas: the nose came out like a ladder, and the lips like a quadrangle. “I’m so glad that you... I hear someone driving up, and I’m thinking to myself who could do it so early. Parasha says: “Lieutenant Governor,” and I say: “Well, here the fool has come again to bother you.” “, and I really wanted to say that I’m not at home. .." The guest was about to get down to business and tell the news. But the exclamation that the lady, pleasant in all respects, uttered at that time, suddenly gave a different direction to the conversation. “What a cheerful chintz!” exclaimed the lady, pleasant in all respects, looking at the dress just a nice lady." - Yes, very cheerful. Praskovya Fedorovna, however, finds that it would be better if the cells were smaller, and that the specks were not brown, but blue. They sent her sister a cloth: it is such a charm that simply cannot be expressed in words; imagine: narrow, narrow stripes, such as the human imagination can imagine, a blue background and through the stripes all the eyes and paws, eyes and paws, eyes and paws... In a word, incomparable! One can say decisively that nothing has happened yet like nothing else in the world.” “Darling, it’s motley.” “Oh, no, it’s not motley.” “Ah, motley!” It should be noted that in all respects the pleasant lady was partly a materialist, prone to denial and doubt, and rejected quite a lot in life. Here a simply pleasant lady explained that this was by no means colorful, and cried out: “Yes, I congratulate you: they don’t wear frills anymore.” - Why don’t they wear it? - In place of their scallops. - Oh, this is not good, scallops! - Scallops, all scallops: a cape made of scallops, scallops on the sleeves, epaulettes made of scallops, scallops below, scallops everywhere. - It’s not good, Sofya Ivanovna, if everything is scalloped. - Sweet, Anna Grigorievna, incredibly; it is sewn with two rib stitches: wide armholes and at the top... But now, that’s when you’ll be amazed, that’s when you’ll say that... Well, be amazed: imagine, the bras have gone even longer, with a toe in front, and the front bone is completely out of bounds ; the whole skirt gathers around, as it used to be in the old days, they even put a little cotton wool on the back so that there is a perfect belle femme. - Well, it’s simple: I confess! - said the lady, pleasant in all respects, making a movement of her head with a sense of dignity. “Exactly, that’s for sure, I admit,” the simply pleasant lady answered. - Whatever you want, I will never imitate this. - Me too... Really, as you can imagine, what fashion sometimes comes to... it’s unlike anything else! I begged my sister for a pattern on purpose for fun; My Melania began to sew. - So do you have a pattern? - the pleasant lady in all respects cried out, not without a noticeable movement of the heart. - Well, my sister brought it. - My soul, give it to me for the sake of all that is holy. - Oh, I already gave my word to Praskovya Fedorovna. Perhaps after it? - Who will wear it after Praskovya Fedorovna? It will be too strange on your part if you prefer strangers to your own. - Yes, she is also my cousin. - She’s still God knows what kind of aunt you are: on her husband’s side... No, Sofya Ivanovna, I don’t even want to hear it, it comes out like this: you want to inflict such an insult on me... Apparently, I’m already boring you, apparently you want to stop every acquaintance with me. Poor Sofya Ivanovna did not know at all what to do. She felt herself between what strong fires she had placed herself. So I bragged about you! She would be ready to prick her stupid tongue with needles for this. - Well, what about our charmer? - Meanwhile, the lady, pleasant in all respects, said. - Oh my god! Why am I sitting like this in front of you! that's good! After all, you know, Anna Grigorievna, what I came to you with? - Here the guest’s breath choked, the words, like hawks, were ready to set off in pursuit one after another, and only one had to be as inhuman as a sincere friend was in order to decide to stop her. “No matter how much you praise and extol him,” she said with more vivacity than usual, “but I’ll say it straight, and I’ll tell him to his face that he’s a worthless person, worthless, worthless, worthless.” - Just listen to what I will tell you... - They spread rumors that he is good, but he is not good at all, not good at all, and his nose... is the most unpleasant nose. - Let me, let me just tell you... darling, Anna Grigorievna, let me tell you! After all, this is history, you understand: history, sconapelle istoar,” said the guest with an expression of almost despair and a completely pleading voice. It doesn’t hurt to notice that a lot of foreign words and sometimes long French phrases were mixed into the conversation of both ladies. But no matter how the author is filled with reverence for the saving benefits that the French language brings to Russia, no matter how filled with reverence for the laudable custom of our high society, speaking in it at all hours of the day, of course, out of a deep feeling of love for the fatherland, but for all that, in no way he does not dare to introduce a phrase of any foreign language into this Russian poem of his. So, let's continue in Russian. - What is the story? - Oh, my life, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine the situation in which I was, imagine: the archpriest comes to me today - the archpriest, Kirila’s father’s wife - and what would you think: our humble one, a newcomer - then what is ours, huh? - How, did he really build chickens before his predecessor? - Oh, Anna Grigorievna, even if there were more chickens, that would be nothing; Just listen to what the archpriest told: the landowner Korobochka came to her, she says, frightened and pale as death, and she tells, and as she tells, just listen, a perfect romance: suddenly, in the dead of midnight, when everyone was already asleep in the house, there is a sound at the gate a knock, the most dangerous one imaginable; They shout: “Open, open, otherwise the gate will be broken down!” How will it feel to you? What is the charmer like after this? - Why, Korobochka, isn’t she young and pretty? - Not at all, old woman. - Oh, delights! So he set to work on the old woman. Well, the taste of our ladies is good after that, they found someone to fall in love with. - But no, Anna Grigorievna, it’s not at all what you think. Just imagine something like Rinald Rinaldin, armed from head to toe, and demanding: “Sell,” he says, “all the souls that have died.” The box answers very reasonably, saying: “I can’t sell them because they are dead.” - “No, he says, they are not dead, it is my business, he says, to know whether they are dead or not, they are not dead, not dead, he shouts, not dead.” In a word, he created a terrible scandal: the whole village came running, the children were crying, everyone was screaming, no one understood anyone, well, just orrrr, orrrr, orrrr!.. But you can’t imagine, Anna Grigorievna, how alarmed I was when I heard all this. “My dear lady,” Mashka tells me, “look in the mirror: you are pale.” - “No time for the mirror, I say, I have to go tell Anna Grigorievna.” At that very moment I order the carriage to be laid: the coachman Andryushka asks me where to go, but I can’t say anything, I just look into his eyes like a fool; I think he thought I was crazy. Oh, Anna Grigorievna, if you could only imagine how worried I was! “This, however, is strange,” said the pleasant lady in all respects, “what could these dead souls mean?” I admit, I understand absolutely nothing here. This is the second time I’ve heard everything about these dead souls; and my husband still says that Nozdryov is lying; Surely there is something. - But imagine, Anna Grigorievna, what my position was when I heard this. “And now,” says Korobochka, “I don’t know, he says, what should I do. He forced me, he says, to sign some kind of false paper, threw me fifteen rubles in banknotes; I, he says, am an inexperienced helpless widow, I don’t know anything... "So these are the incidents! But only if you could just imagine how worried I was. - But, as you please, there are not dead souls here, something else is hiding here. “I confess, too,” said the simply pleasant lady, not without surprise, and immediately felt a strong desire to find out what could be hiding here. She even said deliberately: “Well, do you think someone is hiding here?” - Well, what do you think? - What do I think?.. I admit, I’m completely lost. - But, however, I would still like to know, what are your thoughts about this? But the pleasant lady had nothing to say. She only knew how to worry, but in order to form some kind of smart guess, she was in no way available for this, and therefore, more than anyone else, she had a need for tender friendship and advice. “Well, listen, what are these dead souls,” said the lady, pleasant in all respects, and at such words the guest’s ears became all ears: her ears stretched out of their own accord, she stood up, almost unable to sit or support herself on the sofa, and, despite the fact that it was somewhat heavy, it suddenly became thinner, and began to look like light fluff that would fly into the air just like that with a breath of air. So a Russian gentleman, a dog and a hunter, approaching the forest, from which a hare, trampled by the arrivals, is about to jump out, all with his horse and a raised arapnik in one frozen moment, turns into gunpowder, to which fire is about to be brought. He fixed his eyes firmly on the muddy air and was about to overtake the beast, the unstoppable one would finish him off, no matter how the whole turbulent snowy steppe rose up against him, sending silver stars into his mouth, into his mustache, into his eyes, into his eyebrows and into his beaver hat. “Dead souls...” said an otherwise pleasant lady. - I'm sorry, what? - the guest picked up, all in excitement. - Dead souls!.. - Oh, speak, for God's sake! “This was just made up as a cover, but the point is this: he wants to take away the governor’s daughter.” This conclusion, of course, was in no way unexpected and in all respects unusual. The pleasant lady, having heard this, froze on the spot, turned pale, turned pale as death and, as if, was seriously worried. - Oh my god! - she screamed, clasping her hands, - I could never have imagined this. “And I admit, as soon as you opened your mouth, I already realized what was going on,” answered the lady, pleasant in all respects. - But what is college education like after that, Anna Grigorievna! after all, this is innocence! - What innocence! I heard her make such speeches that, I confess, I would not have the courage to utter them. - You know, Anna Grigorievna, it simply tears your heart apart when you see how far immorality has finally reached. - And men are crazy about her. But for me, I admit, I don’t find anything in her... The mannerisms are unbearable. - Oh, my life, Anna Grigorievna, she is a statue, and at least there is some expression on her face. - Oh, how mannered! oh, how mannered! God, how mannered! I don’t know who taught her, but I have never seen a woman with so much affectation. - Darling! she is a statue and pale as death. - Oh, don’t talk, Sofya Ivanovna: she’s blushing shamelessly. - Oh, what are you doing, Anna Grigorievna: she’s chalk, chalk, pure chalk. - Honey, I was sitting next to her: the blush was as thick as a finger and was falling off like plaster, in pieces. The mother learned it, she is a coquette herself, and the daughter will still surpass her mother. - Well, let me, well, make the oath yourself, whatever you want, I’m ready to lose my children, my husband, my entire property this very hour, if she has even one drop, even a particle, even a shadow of some kind of blush! - Oh, why are you saying that, Sofya Ivanovna! - said the lady, pleasant in all respects, and clasped her hands. - Oh, what are you really like, Anna Grigorievna! I look at you in amazement! - said the pleasant lady and also clasped her hands. Let it not seem strange to the reader that both ladies disagreed with each other about what they saw almost at the same time. There are, of course, many things in the world that already have this property: if one lady looks at them, they come out completely white, but another lady looks at them, they come out red, red like lingonberries. “Well, here’s another proof for you that she is pale,” continued the pleasant lady, “I remember, as now, that I was sitting next to Manilov and telling him: “Look how pale she is!” Really, you have to be as stupid as our men to admire her. And our charming one... Oh, how disgusting he seemed to me! You cannot imagine, Anna Grigorievna, to what extent he seemed disgusting to me. - Yes, however, there were some ladies who were not indifferent to him. - Me, Anna Grigorievna? You can never say this, never, never! - Yes, I don’t talk about you, as if there is no one besides you. - Never, never, Anna Grigorievna! Let me tell you that I know myself very well; and perhaps from some other ladies who play the role of unavailable. - Excuse me, Sofya Ivanovna! Let me tell you that such scandals have never happened to me before. For anyone else, and certainly not for me, let me point this out to you. - Why are you offended? after all, there were other ladies there, there were even those who were the first to grab a chair at the door in order to sit closer to him. Well, after such words uttered by a pleasant lady, a storm should have inevitably followed, but, to the greatest amazement, both ladies suddenly calmed down, and absolutely nothing followed. In all respects, the pleasant lady remembered that the pattern for a fashionable dress was not yet in her hands, but the pleasant lady simply realized that she had not yet had time to find out any details about the discovery made by her sincere friend, and therefore peace followed very quickly. However, both ladies cannot be said to have in their nature the need to cause trouble, and in general there was nothing evil in their characters, and so, insensitively, in their conversation a small desire to prick each other was born by itself; It’s just that, out of a little pleasure, each other will, on occasion, slip in another lively word: here, they say, for you! here, take it, eat it! There are different kinds of needs in the hearts of both male and female. “The only thing I can’t understand,” said the simply pleasant lady, “is how Chichikov, being a visiting person, could decide on such a brave passage.” It cannot be that there are no participants here. - Do you think there are none? - Who do you think could help him? - Well, yes, at least Nozdryov. - Is it really Nozdryov? - So what? after all, he will be on it. You know, he wanted to sell his own father or, even better, lose him at cards. - Oh, my God, what interesting news I hear from you! I could never imagine that Nozdryov would be involved in this story! - I always assumed. - Just think, really, what doesn’t happen in the world! Well, was it possible to imagine when, remember, Chichikov had just arrived in our city, that he would make such a strange march in the world? Oh, Anna Grigorievna, if you only knew how worried I was! If it weren’t for your benevolence and friendship... now, for sure, I’m on the brink of death... where would I go? My Masha sees that I am pale as death. “Dear lady,” she tells me, “you are as pale as death.” - “Masha, I say, I have no time for that now.” So this is the case! So Nozdryov is here, I humbly ask! The pleasant lady really wanted to find out further details about the abduction, that is, what time it was, etc., but she wanted a lot. In all respects, the pleasant lady directly responded with ignorance. She did not know how to lie: to assume something is another matter, but even then in such a case when the assumption was based on inner conviction; if inner conviction was felt, then she knew how to stand up for herself, and if some lawyer, famous for his gift of defeating other people’s opinions, tried to compete here, he would see what inner conviction means. That both ladies were finally decisively convinced of what they had previously assumed only as an assumption, there is nothing unusual in this. Our brothers, smart people, as we call ourselves, do almost the same, and our scientific reasoning serves as proof. At first, the scientist approaches them like an extraordinary scoundrel, begins timidly, moderately, begins with the most humble request: is it from there? Is it not from that corner that such and such a country received its name? or: doesn’t this document belong to another, later time? or: shouldn’t this people mean this kind of people? He immediately quotes these and other ancient writers and as soon as he sees some hint or it just seemed like a hint to him, he gets a trot and is invigorated, talks to the ancient writers easily, asks them questions and even answers for them himself, completely forgetting that began with a timid assumption; it already seems to him that he sees it, that it is clear - and the reasoning is concluded with the words: “so this is how it was, so this is the kind of people we need to understand, and this is the point from which we need to look at the subject!” Then publicly from the pulpit - and the newly discovered truth went to walk around the world, gaining followers and admirers. At the time when both ladies so successfully and wittily solved such a complicated circumstance, the prosecutor entered the living room with his eternally motionless face, thick eyebrows and a blinking eye. The ladies vied with each other to tell him all the events, told him about the purchase of dead souls, about the intention to take away the governor's daughter and confused him completely, so that no matter how much he continued to stand in the same place, bat his left eye and hit his beard with a handkerchief, sweeping away tobacco from there, but absolutely could not understand anything. So the two ladies left him there and each went in their own direction to riot the city. They managed to complete this undertaking in just over half an hour. The city was decidedly in revolt; everything was in a state of disarray, and at least no one could understand anything. The ladies knew how to put such a fog in the eyes of everyone that everyone, and especially the officials, remained stunned for some time. Their position at first was similar to that of a schoolboy whose sleepy comrades, who had risen earlier, thrust a piece of paper filled with tobacco into the nose of a hussar. Having pulled all the tobacco towards himself in his sleep with all the zeal of a sleeper, he awakens and jumps up. looks like a fool, with his eyes bulging, in all directions, and cannot understand where he is, what happened to him, and then he distinguishes the walls illuminated by an indirect ray of sun, the laughter of his comrades hiding in the corners, and the coming morning looking out the window, with an awakening forest, sounding with thousands of bird voices, and with an illuminated river, here and there disappearing in shining squiggles between thin reeds, all strewn with naked children inviting them to swim, and then finally he feels that a hussar is sitting in his nose. This was absolutely the position of the inhabitants and officials of the city at first. Everyone stopped, like a sheep, with their eyes bulging. Dead souls, the governor's daughter and Chichikov got confused and mixed in their heads in an unusually strange way; and then, after the first stupor, they seemed to begin to distinguish them separately and separate one from the other, began to demand an account and get angry, seeing that the matter did not want to be explained. What kind of parable, really, what kind of parable are these dead souls? There is no logic in dead souls; how to buy dead souls? where would such a fool come from? and with what blind money will he buy them? and to what end, to what cause can these dead souls be pinned? and why did the governor’s daughter interfere here? If he wanted to take her away, then why buy dead souls for this? If you buy dead souls, then why take away the governor’s daughter? Did he want to give her these dead souls? What kind of nonsense was really being spread around the city? What kind of direction is this that you won’t have time to turn around, and then they’ll release the story, and at least there would be some meaning... However, they tore it apart, so there must have been some reason? What is the reason for dead souls? There's not even a reason. This, it turns out, is simple: Androns are driving, nonsense, rubbish, soft-boiled boots! it's just damn it!.. In a word, there was talk and talk, and the whole city started talking about dead souls and the governor's daughter, about Chichikov and dead souls, about the governor's daughter and Chichikov, and everything that was there rose up. Like a whirlwind, the hitherto dormant city was thrown up! All the tyuryuks and boibaks, who had been lying in their dressing gowns for several years at home, crawled out of their holes, blaming either the shoemaker who sewed the narrow boots, or the tailor, or the drunken coachman. All those who had long ago stopped all acquaintances and knew only, as they say, the landowners Zavalishin and Polezhaev (famous terms derived from the verbs “to lie down” and “to fall over”, which are in great use in our Russia, just like the phrase: go to Sopikov and Khrapovitsky, meaning all sorts of dead dreams on the side, on the back and in all other positions, with snoring, nasal whistles and other accessories); all those who could not be lured out of the house even by an invitation for a five-hundred-ruble fish soup with two-arshine sterlets and all sorts of melt-in-your-mouth kulebyaks; in a word, it turned out that the city was crowded, and large, and properly populated. Some Sysoy Pafnutievich and McDonald Karlovich appeared, whom we had never heard of before; There was a tall guy hanging around in the living rooms, with a bullet through his arm. such a tall stature that has never even been seen before. Covered droshky, unknown rulers, rattlers, wheel whistles appeared on the streets - and a mess started brewing. At another time and under other circumstances, such rumors might not have attracted any attention; but the city of N. has not received any news for a long time. For three months nothing even happened that is called in the capitals komerazhi, which, as you know, for the city is the same as the timely delivery of food supplies. In the city talk there suddenly appeared two completely opposite opinions and suddenly two opposite parties were formed: male and female. The men's party, the most stupid, drew attention to the dead souls. The women's office was exclusively concerned with the kidnapping of the governor's daughter. In this game, it should be noted to the credit of the ladies, there was incomparably more order and discretion. This, apparently, is their very purpose of being good housewives and managers. Everything with them soon took on a living, definite form, took on clear and obvious forms, was explained, cleared up, in a word, a complete picture emerged. It turned out that Chichikov had been in love for a long time, and they saw each other in the garden in the moonlight, that the governor would even give his daughter for him, because Chichikov is rich like a Jew, if the reason was not for his wife, whom he abandoned (how did they know that Chichikov was married - no one knew), and that his wife, who was suffering from hopeless love, wrote a most touching letter to the governor, and that Chichikov, seeing that his father and mother would never agree, decided to kidnap him. In other houses this was told somewhat differently: that Chichikov did not have any wife at all, but that he, as a subtle and acting man, took steps in order to get his daughter’s hand, to start a business with his mother and had a heartfelt secret connection with her, and that then he made a declaration about his daughter’s hand in marriage; but the mother, afraid that a crime against religion would be committed, and feeling remorse in her soul, flatly refused, and that was why Chichikov decided to kidnap him. To all this were added many explanations and corrections as rumors finally penetrated into the most remote alleys. In Rus', lower societies are very fond of talking about the gossip that happens in higher societies, and therefore they began to talk about all this in houses where they had never even seen or known Chichikov, additions and even greater explanations began. The plot became more interesting every minute, took on more definitive forms every day, and finally, as it was, in all its finality, was delivered to the governor’s own ears. The governor's wife, as the mother of the family, as the first lady in the city, and finally, as a lady who did not suspect anything of the kind, was completely offended by such stories and became indignant, justified in all respects. The poor blonde endured the most unpleasant tete-a-tete that a sixteen-year-old girl has ever had. Whole streams of questions, interrogations, reprimands, threats, reproaches, admonitions poured in, so that the girl burst into tears, sobbed and could not understand a single word; The doorman was given the strictest order not to receive Chichikov at any time and under any circumstances. Having done their job regarding the governor’s wife, the ladies attacked the male party, trying to win them over to their side and claiming that dead souls were an invention and were used only to divert any suspicion and more successfully carry out the abduction. Many even of the men were seduced and attached to their party, despite the fact that they were subjected to strong criticism from their own comrades, who cursed them with women and skirts - names that are known to be very offensive to the male sex. But no matter how much the men armed themselves and resisted, their party did not have the same order as the women’s party. Everything about them was somehow callous, uncouth, wrong, worthless, discordant, not good, there was confusion in their heads, turmoil, confusion, untidiness in their thoughts - in a word, this is how the empty nature of a man stood out in everything, a rough, heavy, unattractive nature. capable of neither house-building nor of heartfelt convictions, of little faith, lazy, filled with incessant doubts and eternal fear. They said that it was all nonsense, that the kidnapping of the governor’s daughter was more a hussar’s matter than a civilian one, that Chichikov would not do it, that women were lying, that a woman was like a sack: whatever she put in, she carried, that the main thing to which you need to pay attention was there are dead souls, which, however, the devil knows what they mean, but they contain, however, very bad, bad things. Why it seemed to the men that there was something bad and bad in them, we will find out this minute: a new governor-general was appointed to the province - an event, as we know, that brings officials into an alarming state: there will be quarrels, scoldings, rioting and all sorts of official stews that the boss treats their subordinates. “Well,” the officials thought, “if he just finds out that there are some stupid rumors in the city, this alone could lead to him boiling to the death.” The inspector of the medical board suddenly turned pale; he imagined God knows what: didn’t the word “dead souls” mean sick people who died in significant numbers in hospitals and other places from epidemic fever, against which no proper measures were taken, and that Chichikov wasn’t an official sent from the general’s office - the governor to carry out a secret investigation. He reported this to the chairman. The chairman replied that this was nonsense, and then he suddenly turned pale, asking himself the question: what if the souls bought by Chichikov were actually dead? and he allowed a fortress to be made on them, and he himself played the role of Plyushkin’s attorney, and this comes to the attention of the Governor-General, what then? He said nothing more about it as soon as he told both of them, and suddenly both of them turned pale; fear is more sticky than the plague and is communicated instantly. Everyone suddenly found sins in themselves that never even existed. The word “dead souls” was heard so vaguely that they even began to suspect whether there was some hint of suddenly buried bodies, as a result of two events that happened not so long ago. The first event was with some Solvychegodsk merchants who came to the city for a fair and after the trades gave a feast to their Ust-Sysolsk merchant friends, a feast in the Russian style with German ideas: arshads, punches, balms, and so on. The feast, as usual, ended in a fight. The Solvychegodsk soldiers went to the death of the Ust-Sysolsk soldiers, although they also suffered a strong abrasion on their sides, under their mikitkas and on Christmas Eve, which testified to the exorbitant size of the fists with which the deceased were equipped. One of those who triumphed even had his nose completely chipped off, as the fighters put it, that is, his entire nose was crushed, so that not even half a finger remained on his face. The merchants confessed to their business, explaining that they had been a little naughty; there were rumors that they had committed four government charges each; however, the matter is too dark; From the investigations and investigations carried out, it turned out that the Ust-Sysolsk guys died from intoxication, and therefore they were buried like the dead. Another incident that recently happened was the following: the state-owned peasants of the village of Vshivaya-arrogance, having united with the same peasants of the village of Borovka, Zadirailovo-also, wiped off the face of the earth the supposedly zemstvo police in the person of an assessor, some Drobyazhkin, which is supposedly the zemstvo police, that is, the assessor Drobyazhkin had gotten into the habit of traveling to their village too often, which in other cases is worth a general fever, and the reason is that the zemstvo police, having some weaknesses on the part of the heart, had an eye on women and village girls. Probably, however, it is not known, although in their testimony the peasants expressed it directly that the zemstvo police were as lascivious as a cat, and that they had already protected him once and once even kicked him out naked from some hut where he had gotten into. Of course, the zemstvo police were worthy of punishment for heart weaknesses, but the men of both Vshivoy-arrogance and Zadirailov-also could not be acquitted of arbitrariness, if only they actually participated in the murder. But the matter was dark, the zemstvo police were found on the road, the uniform or sertuk on the zemstvo police was worse than a rag, and the physiognomy could not be recognized. The case went through the courts and finally came to the chamber, where it was first discussed in private in this sense: since it is not known which of the peasants participated, and there are many of them, Drobyazhkin is a dead man, therefore, it would be of little use to him if even he won the case, and the men were still alive, therefore, the decision in their favor was very important for them; then, as a result, it was decided this way: that the assessor Drobyazhkin himself was the cause, exerting unjust oppression on the peasants Vshivoy-arrogance and Zadiraylov-also, and he died, returning in the sleigh, from an apoplexy. The matter, it would seem, was settled, but the officials, for some unknown reason, began to think that these dead souls were now being dealt with. It happened that, as if on purpose, at a time when the gentlemen officials were already in a difficult situation, two papers came to the governor at once. One of them contained that, according to testimonies and reports, there was a maker of counterfeit notes in their province, hiding under different names, and that the strictest search should be immediately carried out. Another paper contained the attitude of the governor of the neighboring province about a robber who had escaped from legal prosecution, and that if any suspicious person turned up in their province without presenting any certificates or passports, then detain him immediately. These two papers stunned everyone. Previous conclusions and guesses were completely confused. Of course, it was impossible to assume that anything here had to do with Chichikov; however, everyone, as everyone reflected on his part, as they remembered that they still did not know who Chichikov really was, that he himself spoke very vaguely about his own person, said, however, that he suffered in the service for the truth, yes after all, all this is somehow unclear, and when they remembered that he even said that he had many enemies who attempted to kill his life, they began to think even more: therefore, his life was in danger, therefore, he was being pursued, it became maybe he did something like that... but who is he really? Of course, one cannot think that he could make false papers, much less be a robber: his appearance is well-intentioned; but with all that, who, however, was he really like? And so the gentlemen officials now asked themselves the question that they should have asked themselves at the beginning, that is, in the first chapter of our poem. It was decided to make a few more inquiries to those from whom the souls were purchased, in order to at least find out what kind of purchases were made, and what exactly should be understood by these dead souls, and whether he explained to anyone, at least perhaps by chance, even in passing somehow his real intentions, and whether he told anyone about who he was. First of all, they reacted to Korobochka, but here they didn’t learn much: he bought it for fifteen rubles, and he also buys bird feathers, and he promised to buy a lot of things, he also puts lard into the treasury, and therefore, probably, he is a cheat, for there was already one such who bought bird feathers and supplied lard to the treasury, but deceived everyone and cheated the archpriest of more than a hundred rubles. Everything she said next was a repetition of almost the same thing, and the officials only saw that Korobochka was just a stupid old woman. Manilov replied that he was always ready to vouch for Pavel Ivanovich as for himself, that he would sacrifice all his property in order to have a hundredth share of Pavel Ivanovich’s qualities, and spoke about him in general in the most flattering terms, adding a few thoughts about friendship with with closed eyes. These thoughts, of course, satisfactorily explained the tender movements of his heart, but did not explain the real matter to the officials. Sobakevich replied that Chichikov, in his opinion, was a good person, and that he sold him the peasants to choose from and the people were alive in all respects; but that he does not vouch for what will happen in the future, that if they die during the difficulties of relocation on the road, then it is not his fault, but God has power in that, and there are many fevers and various deadly diseases in the world, and there are examples that Entire villages are dying out. The gentlemen officials resorted to another means, not very noble, but which, however, is sometimes used, that is, on the side, through various lackey acquaintances, to ask Chichikov’s people if they know any details about the master’s previous life and circumstances, but they also heard A little. From Petrushka they heard only the smell of residential peace, and from Selifan, who performed government service and previously served in customs, and nothing more. This class of people has a very strange custom. If you ask him directly about something, he will never remember, will not get it all into his head, and will even simply answer that he doesn’t know, but if you ask him about something else, then he will drag it in and tell him with such details that and you don't want to know. All the searches carried out by the officials revealed to them only that they probably do not know what Chichikov is, but that, however, there must certainly be something like Chichikov. They finally decided to have a final talk about this subject and decide at least what and how they should do, and what measures to take, and what exactly he is: is he the kind of person who needs to be detained and captured as ill-intentioned, or is he the kind of person who who can himself seize and detain them all as ill-intentioned. For all this, it was proposed to gather deliberately with the police chief, already known to readers as the father and benefactor of the city. >>