New Year's fortune-telling and comic predictions. Funny comic predictions for the New Year and Christmas

Here is a list of 365 wise predictions for every day. The texts are intended to be printed on pieces of paper to create “destiny cookies,” play the role of a gypsy, or make a DIY New Year’s gift. It will also help create entertainment for guests on any occasion. Ideas for use are at the end of the page.

Short texts are written in a special way. If you look at them carefully, you will notice that these prophecies will definitely come true for any person at one time or another in life. Therefore, you can use them without fear, knowing that the person who receives them will not be deceived.

In addition, you can use .

Luck will come from unexpected places.
Long-standing debts will be returned to you.
An unexpected cash flow awaits you.
All unfinished business will be completed.
A bright adventure is already waiting for you.
If you are attentive, you will see great love very close to you.
You will find what you are looking for.
Wonderful losses await you: the loss of harmful misconceptions, harmful people and bad habits.
One day a name will appear in your life that will turn the previous name into dust.
You will be able to avoid losses in an important matter.
This is a good time to get a friend for all times. Look around.
Life will be replenished with one more joy.
In life you will meet a lot of kindness.
Someone will protect you from evil tongues.
Get good news.
The sky above your head will be peaceful.
You will definitely achieve your chosen goal if you are faithful to it.
You will meet someone's sympathetic heart.
An annoying household problem in the apartment will be eliminated.
Enemies will not be able to cause you significant harm if you show a little insight.
You will not only be listened to, but also heard.
You can see new opportunities for growth if you look at the current situation from a different angle.
An opportunity will arise to expand your views on the world.
You will learn something new about the people around you.
Open your eyes wider - you can see even more beautiful things.
Inspiration will finally come to you.
Your intuition will not let you down this time. Use it.
Listen to yourself and the answer to the question will be found.
There will be an opportunity to go on the road.
Your valuable experience can help someone if you stop hiding it inside yourself.
Someone else's valuable experience will serve you well.
Fate will be kind to you.
You will be able to enter the right doors on time.
Believing in success will help you gain strength.
You won't be able to please absolutely everyone, don't waste your energy on it.
The chance to win will appear when the goal is precisely defined.
The result obtained may exceed your expectations.
Accumulated dissatisfaction will be cured with love and time.
The desired fruits will definitely ripen, but first you need to plant the seed and be patient.
The words you are waiting for will be spoken.
After some time, the anxiety will pass, be patient.
You will become a welcome guest.
Sooner or later you will find stability.
You will master the entire chosen path if you regularly take steps forward.
Your mind will help you take control of your instincts.
A good book will help you understand a lot of new things.
If you decide to take an unplanned trip, you can get many unfamiliar sensations.
You will acquire a new valuable skill.
A look of admiration will overtake you.
You are guaranteed to meet the right person.
After the night, dawn will definitely come.
New sensations will immediately come to you if you begin to lead your usual life in an unusual way.
Fate's clues will help you avoid mistakes.
Only too high expectations will bring disappointment. Evaluate your needs soberly.
Thoughtful actions will help you use your energy rationally.
Now is the time when taking care of your health will significantly improve your overall well-being.
You will be right in your judgments.
The time has come to honestly answer some questions for yourself.
In the coming days, there will be a good time to become more lenient with yourself.
You won't get clothes that age you.
The people you visit will have treats for you.
Soon you will meet someone who is grateful to you for something.
You will meet a person for whom you have something to be grateful.
Planning your time will help you avoid being late for your meeting.
Your work will be fruitful.
New ideas will open up new perspectives for you, fantasize without limits.
You won't have to feign health for a long time.
You will manage not to become a servant of other people's desires.
It's time to listen to everyone, this will help you gain new ideas.
Your walk will remain light for a long time.
The headache won't last long.
All the reasons why you skipped your morning exercises will disappear.
There will be a chance to look at yourself from a different angle.
The love of life will not leave you.
Someone to share positivity with you.
A romantic evening at home will give you pleasant moments. Buy candles.
Your world will be completely safe.
You will have the chance to create something immortal.
You will have the strength to forget the good you have done and not expect gratitude. Use them as intended.
Curiosity will help you gain new intellectual ecstasy.
You have to consider an unexpected offer.
There won't be quick results this time.
All wishes will come true.
Each new crisis will bring with it new opportunities.
You may find something in yourself that it’s time to improve.
Pleasant chores await you.
Routine will stop annoying you.
Happiness will become a familiar state for you.
Pleasant dreams will begin to come regularly.
You will have the opportunity to purchase what you want at the lowest price.
There will be people around you who can bite their tongue in time.
New ones will appear in your collection of beautiful memories.
Receive a call from someone who misses you.
You will meet a person whom you will later call serious success in life.
You will be able to enjoy the sun and not get sunburned.
You will have the opportunity to express words of gratitude and love.
Everything beautiful will leave your life and only the beautiful will remain.
Over time, you will understand that money is only a symbol of independence, but not happiness.
Life will arrange everything in the best way, no matter where you go.
The day is not far when you will be satisfied with yourself and everything that surrounds you.
You can get where you need to go, even if you take a wrong turn.
Summing up the results of the year you have lived, you will have reasons to be proud of yourself.
You will gain total power over your relationship to the world around you.
Your wisdom will reach such a peak when you will not regret anything.
The mood will be great, even if there is no reason for it.
Until the end of your days, the world will never cease to amaze you.
There will be a reason to look stylish and bright.
You will find a foothold if you look for it within yourself.
Everything you need will come at the right time and you will have the opportunity to make sure of it.
There will be an opportunity to love someone who really deserves it.
Your reward will find you.
On your life's path you will come across examples of generosity, both mental and material.
Your mistakes will make you stronger, smarter and more cunning.
The experience gained will tell you how to achieve new successes.
The reasons living inside you will give rise to wonderful consequences outside.
Fresh thoughts will come to mind, you just need to rest a little.
Unnecessary people will definitely leave you.
Excellent health will not leave you.
Your guardian angel will take care of you forever.
In the near future you will be able to benefit from the situation.
Your deeds will speak about you better than you do yourself.
You will have time to complete everything planned on time.
You can master the science of smart time management if you pay attention to it.
A person will appear nearby to whom you can tell your dreams without hesitation.
You can eat whatever you want, as much as you want and not think about excess weight.
The soul and mind will begin to live in peace and harmony.
You will get the advice you really need.
The chance to ruin your life will go not to you, but to your enemies.
You will be able to find your own path without following someone else's example.
Your soulmate will be forgiving of your shortcomings.
Don’t rush things, spring will come soon and the flowers will bloom on their own.
The bumps you meet along the way will only throw you up.
You will have the opportunity to put your soul into every thing you do.
The taste for life will always live in you.
There will be no fruit where you did not sow it... don't waste time waiting.
You have to pay for high quality.
You will lose friends if you start looking for flaws in them.
Someone's sincere smile will send you joyful energy.
It's not successes, but problems that can show your worth... use them to your advantage.
Those who are your friends will value and respect your individuality.
A new family tradition will be born in your family.
You will have nowhere to retreat on the path to your dream and then it will come true.
Your family will take special care of you.
Your insight will be able to penetrate into the impenetrable... make sure first that you really want to penetrate there.
You have to ignore the provocation.
When you see people acting out in your presence, remember that they just want to make you laugh.
Someone will need your tact and sensitivity to listen to the truth.
There will be many moments in your life that you will remember with warmth and gratitude.
Luck will be your faithful companion.
Life will present many pleasant surprises.
The next vacation will be different from previous ones and will be remembered for a long time.
Eventually you will learn not to burn your bridges by losing your temper.
Summing up, you can forget the worst.
The road called “later” will lead to a country called “nowhere.” Change the road.
A short separation will show which people are truly dear.
You won't be perfect and that's great... there's room for improvement.
A little sobriety, a little tolerance, a little humor... and you can settle down very comfortably on this planet.
You will not stop dreaming and this will help you constantly find new meaning in life.
You will see the most important thing in your life without the help of your eyes.
Whether you like it or not, those around you will always think something... there is no point in being nervous.
If you love a rose, you will have to endure its thorns.
If you put in the effort, you can find out the truth in a minute... and spend your life forgetting it. Maybe it's not worth it?
You will have to be open to many if you want to let one very necessary person into your life.
Your happiness will not decrease if you share it with someone.
You won't be able to change the past, but you can change the future.
Time will put everything in its place and it will become clear why everything was needed.
People will be sent to you so that when you look at them you will not make the same mistakes.
To avoid crashing after a high takeoff, you'll need to learn how to land carefully... so you can take off again.
You will be lucky to be with those people next to whom your heart does not seek others.
You cannot see new shores until you sail away from the old ones.
You will have the opportunity to communicate with someone who is better than you, smarter and stronger... do not miss the opportunity to learn new things.
Fate will throw up a dilemma... you have to choose between “being right” and “being loved.”
Persistent pursuit of something will help you move further.
Don't worry, you will not be left without light if you begin to illuminate the lives of others.
Life will end someday, and this is a compelling argument to work less and spend more time on your loved ones.
You will receive the most valuable things when you are ready, not when you want them.
Others will make a choice for you if you decide to doubt.
Even on a gloomy day you can enjoy the sun if it is in your soul.
You will be able to combine the incongruous.
Great people will give you happiness, bad people will give you experiences, and the best people will give you memories. Appreciate them all.
After reading this wonderful book, you will get a chance to open a new era in your life.
More than half of the people you will meet tomorrow crave empathy... show it and they will understand you.
There will be peace, prosperity and prosperity in the family.
Your home will not become a golden cage for you.
Evil people will not be able to make you an instrument of their dark plans.
You will have a second chance to make the right impression.
Fabulous wealth will be yours! This does not mean that it is material.
Pleasant acquaintances will soon please you.
Someone will love you not for something, but in spite of everything.
You will not be able to achieve such fame, the companion of which is loneliness.
You can outshine many if you find someone who will explain the laws of popularity to you.
In the near future, it will be possible to make repairs with the least loss of time and nerves.
You will be visited by anxiety, as a result of which you will gain calm and confidence.
In the near future, your desires will not force you to risk everything you have.
You are never too old to learn.
An interesting life will find you if you dare to leave your comfort zone.
You will get something you never had... if you do something you have never done.
You will hear praise and compliments addressed to you.
A black cat crossing the road will not bring you trouble.
Get rid of the envy of evil people if you light 12 candles in church for health.
Someone wants to open your eyes to the truth... you have to decide whether to shut their mouth.
You will not reach the top unless you are willing to climb the mountain.
Someone wants to dig a hole for you... don't bother him. When finished, make yourself a pool.
You will be able to use the talent that you have for your benefit, even if it is not as huge as that of others.
Patience, the ability to remain silent and a sense of proportion will sometimes help in life more than intelligence, beauty and talent.
You will achieve all your goals. To do this, reduce the amount of laziness, increase your resourcefulness and throw all excuses into the trash.
All the rats will run away from you if you can fake a shipwreck.
Get even more if you learn to appreciate what you already have.
Your brain will learn to work more actively if you do or learn something new every day.
Someone else's opinion will lose power over you.
Life will bring you many meetings with a variety of people.
You will discover many different pleasures.
Most of your fears will leave you, the rest will not be as frightening as you imagined them to be.
It is mistakes that will one day lead to success. Don't regret them.
Positive memories will bring you more joy than material things.
You will become stronger physically, emotionally and mentally if you can make time for exercise.
Every day will become enjoyable for you if you find something to do that you are crazy about.
You will become more interesting and learn to interact with different cultures if you spend time traveling.
Negative and fearful thoughts will not become reality unless you cultivate them.
You can't change other people. But you can teach yourself to respect their uniqueness and difference from you.
You can handle anything. And what you can’t cope with, you can survive.
Gratitude will make you even happier. And the one that you experience and the one that they feel towards you.
Intuition will become your super power and will do a lot for you. Listen to her.
Self-deception cannot blind you. Being honest with yourself will help you with this.
You will be surprised how many opportunities life will offer you if you do not reject them and get rid of prejudices.
You will have the opportunity to meet a rare person... with someone like that you can forget yourself.
When competing with your peers, you will have an advantage to win... try not to overlook it.
If you do something not only for yourself, then the world will look a little brighter.
There will be people in your life that you will never forget.
For someone you will become completely indispensable.
You will find your inner light and become a guide for others.
You will be able to catch luck without any effort.
Several people will discuss your qualities behind your back.
Your enemy will remember you, but now he is not dangerous and weak.
To catch your luck you will need help.
Children will surprise you with their wisdom.
Minor troubles will disappear quickly, without having time to cause significant harm.
Supporting an influencer will bring you significant benefits, don't miss it.
They will want to deceive you, but they will not be able to carry out their plans.
Happy changes await you when you are ready to meet them.
Triumph awaits you in rivalries concerning love or friendship.
Advancement in business or career awaits you.
Get news from someone you love.
Good news about current affairs will overtake you.
The settlement of disputes and disagreements is near.
Good health news awaits you.
A pleasant love affair is possible, but without consequences.
Delays in the implementation of heart plans will be minor.
Complications in family relationships will be small and short-lived.
A new friendship will cheer your heart if you allow it into your life.
The delay in completing cases will not be long.
An interesting offer can bring unexpected profits.
Long-standing business will end in a profitable deal.
An insidious woman may appear next to a dear person.
The Guardian Angel will intervene in all difficulties, resolve differences and lead to harmony.
Someone next to you dreams of strengthening their relationship.
You will get a strict but fair mentor.
An imaginary friend will try to capture your attention and influence.
Someone dreams of providing you with evidence of their love, sympathy or friendship.
There will be a chance to get an influential patron.
A woman you know will help you with your business.
Flirting will be pleasant and without complications.
Previously received news will be confirmed from an additional source (perhaps by letter, message, or otherwise).
Future expenses will not cause significant damage to your wallet.
Concerns about health will be unfounded.
Work will bring satisfaction to the heart.
Previously heard gossip will not be confirmed.
Half of your fears will be in vain.
An unexpected meeting will revive warm memories in your soul.
A slight concern about a dark-haired man will not develop into a major concern.
Fatigue will be caused by overexertion and nervousness, and will quickly pass after rest and will not lead to illness.
Anger caused by arguments will not lead to dire consequences.
A lucky lottery ticket will not stick to your shoe. This is not how you will receive your prize.
There will be small pleasant expenses associated with the wear and tear of previous items.
The upcoming misunderstanding will be resolved with fun.
The responsibility you need to take on will be easy for you.
Refusing the imposed trip will bring peace.
Sadness will pass you by and you will enjoy prosperity.
Mood swings will cause slight annoyance to those around you, but will show you which of them is seriously concerned about your well-being.
Additional workload can be avoided.
Someone in your circle will try to manipulate your opinion, but you will be able to notice this in time so as not to become a pawn in someone else’s game.
You are about to face temptation. You will have enough strength to resist.
In a deadlock situation, the exit will be in the same place as the entrance.
Your vigilance will serve you well and will not allow envious people to ruin your happiness.
Your charisma will increase over time and will become a faithful assistant in communicating with people.
Life force will weaken under the influence of minor troubles, but will return to you doubly increased.
The boomerang is already flying towards your enemy and in the near future he will get his in full, without your efforts.
Chatterboxes and idle talkers will not be able to harm your reputation and will even help increase your fame.
Your most important secrets will remain undisclosed, and if they become public, then they will no longer be relevant.
The ending will be happy in any case. Always. If happiness does not come, then this is not the end.
You'll look as good as you read.
Money will help you have a great time while waiting for happiness.
You cannot buy the most important values with money. They always come for free.
By working hard, you will not only receive rewards, but your skills will also reach a new level.
Prosperity will reside in your home for a long time if you carefully distribute the available resources.
The day will become magical thanks to someone's responsiveness.
Continued use of social media will not bring you health.
You will have everything you need to realize your plans.
Meeting the truth will correct your personal beliefs for the better.
You will have to reckon with other people's opinions.
The acquired knowledge will no longer lie dead weight, the time will come to use it.
False goals will disappear from your plans and this will bring you a lot of energy and health.
There will be a lot of positives in everything that happens to you... however, you will only see many of the “pluses” over time.
For everything that is truly important, you don’t have to pay with money... usually they pay for it with pieces of the soul.
Thanks to love, inspiration will appear to create something new and make money.
Gas prices won't bother you anymore if you drive a Ferrari.
Money will not have a detrimental effect on you... it will simply show who you really are.
You will have the opportunity to learn a lot about a person by lending him money.
Tomorrow will be fraught with the charm of novelty.
It is impossible to avoid the future, as well as the beautiful moments in it.
Even if you don't do everything exactly according to schedule, your goal will not leave you.
Your creative success will be noticed and appreciated.
Pragmatic interest can develop into romantic infatuation.
Unusual and mysterious evenings await you, be prepared to receive new emotions.
You will want, like everyone else, to avoid difficulties, but remember: the strongest oaks grew in a strong wind, and diamonds are born under high pressure.
No one can call you a bore if you remain silent.
No one will consider you a gloomy person if you smile.
If there is a foreign body in the plate, it is good luck.
If you stumble on the way home, this is a sign of success.
If you don’t find your keys in your bag for a long time, this means unusual and exciting sensations.
You will be in a better position than many.
The gifts received this year will delight you for many years to come.
Your charm and natural flair will help you get out of an unpleasant situation without loss.
Your authority will grow steadily.
The reputation earned in the past will work in your favor.
Important changes in the personal lives of others will affect you too.
You will find like-minded people if you become a little more open.
External and internal changes will transform you, the reflection in the mirror will surprise you.
Your leadership qualities will be tested and tested repeatedly.
Your mind will become a more important asset than your appearance.
Your patience will be rewarded.
The protective measures you take will help prevent personal disasters.
You will have the opportunity to change your job to a more interesting one.
The New Year will bring new perspectives.
Success can't ruin you if you're always insufferable.
Old age will not frighten you and depress you if you consider the alternative.
The most exciting pastime awaits you in the future.
There is nothing to worry about! Success will not come before you can endure it.
Changes will bring progress in life, do not be afraid of them.
The fruits of your labor will be an advertisement for your capabilities.
Your imagination will give you wings if you take the time to turn it on.
The experience gained will become a treasure that follows you everywhere and which cannot be taken away or lost.
The more you demand of yourself, the more others will respect you.
Curiosity will kill boredom. Don't kill your curiosity.
The changes you make to yourself will have far-reaching consequences.
Only those who do nothing will succeed.
You can predict the future if you start inventing it yourself.
There will be a chance to become the master of the situation. What it will turn into depends on your decisions.
You will be able to identify someone's insincerity.
What you receive will exceed your expectations.
Fortune will come into your orbit in the near future, use it.
You will be able to enjoy privacy.
Life will challenge you in the near future... use this chance to show yourself what you are worth.
At the end of the journey, your life will bow to you for living it.
Something left in the past will become relevant in the present.
A surge of creative forces will fill you and help you realize what you have long planned.
You will be entrusted with something that requires a responsible attitude.
The unclear situation will soon become clearer. You should keep your eyes open and not invent something that isn't there.
The situation will require humility from you. It will subsequently pay off handsomely.
Thanks to timely guesses and insights, you will get what you want.
Soon you will gain knowledge that will shed light on what was previously hidden.
When you decide to act, your eyes will close to doubt.
This is just life... and that means you will definitely break through.
The necessary words for all occasions can be found at the website address
Everything will be fine.

Using this list, you can prepare a gift with your own hands. To do this, print out the list and cut the sheets so that each item on the list is on a separate piece of paper. Fold the resulting pieces of paper in any convenient way and place them in a jar or a beautiful box. The gift is ready. The person to whom the gift is intended must take one piece of paper out of the box every day (for a year) and read the life-affirming words that are written in the note. Rest assured, they are always fulfilled, because only those that happen in everyone’s life are selected here.
Notes with text can be used for “destiny cookies”. To do this, prepare the pieces of paper as described above and place them in the cookies. In exactly the same way, you can put them in sweets, small chocolates, and other treats for guests.
Also, the list is relevant for fortune telling (for the role of a gypsy, sorceress, fairy) at any holiday, performance and other events.
To entertain guests (usually this is done on New Year's Eve), you will need to print out the notes using the method described above and put them in a bag or box. Next, invite the guests to take one piece of paper out of the bag without looking and read what awaits him in the near future. During the celebration, you can repeatedly invite those present to pull a note from the bag. In addition, each prophecy read can be used as a topic for discussion and thereby have a lively time.

Prediction games are an interesting and very fun element of the holiday, which invariably evokes a response from guests. Serious prophecies and real fortune-telling are inappropriate at parties, because a negative forecast can completely ruin the mood. But comic fortune telling always goes off with a bang.

There are many ways to play this game. You can, for example, make a deck of fake cards: on one side there is a back, and on the other there is a printed prediction. Someone dresses up as a gypsy and invites guests to draw one card and read the prophecy out loud.

Other options:

make fortune cookies;
print out funny candy wrappers with predictions inside, wrap candies in them, hand them out to guests and offer to unwrap them;
write prophecies on small cards with congratulations, put them in a box and invite guests to pull out one at a time;
Place stickers with numbers on the bottom of plates or glasses. Place this dish on a separate tray. Let the guests take it apart themselves before the feast. As a result, everyone will get a randomly drawn number. When the right moment comes, the host will ask the guests to look at the stickers. Participants in the celebration will name the numbers they have drawn, and the presenter will read out the numbered predictions.

Comic predictions based on films and songs

Movie titles

This is a simple, but original and very interesting way to predict fate for the next year. The prophecy is the name of the film or cartoon itself. Not a plot, but only a phrase. Let guests be more sophisticated in their interpretations.

For example: “Next year I’m expecting... a game of thrones.” This can be interpreted in any way - for example, as a struggle for a position or as a dispute over the role of head of the family.

Appropriate movie titles

Foreign films

Armageddon
Big jackpot
Smell of a woman
Chicken Run
Taming of the Shrew
Groundhog Day
Monsters corporation
Deal with the devil
Midnight in Paris
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Sky over Berlin
Money Train
Sex and the City
Key to all doors
Third wheel
Meeting the parents
Fatal attraction
Best friend's wedding
Indecent proposal
The Forty Year Old Virgin
12 angry men
Haunted Mansion
The Wedding Planner
Friends with Benefits
Blonde in law
Breaking Bad

Soviet and Russian films

Love affair at work
Love and pigeons
Zigzag of luck
8 first dates
Long road in the dunes
Girl with no address
Love is a carrot
White Sun of the Desert
Big change

Lines from songs

Similar entertainment to the previous one. Only this time the prophecy is a line from a famous song. Phrases can be printed on paper (indicating the performer in brackets). But if you’re not too lazy, it’s better to prepare audio clips. In this case, fortune telling will turn out to be much more effective and interesting.

Song fragments are numbered. Guests draw out numbers, according to which short musical predictions are read to them. So, what does fate have in store for your guests in the coming year?

Suitable lines from songs:

1. Only a glass of vodka on the table (G. Leps)
2. Million, million, million scarlet roses (A. Pugacheva)
3. Money, money, money. Always sunny in the rich man's world (ABBA)
4. And on the sea there is white sand, a warm wind blows in the face (J. Friske)
5. Oh, this wedding, wedding, wedding sang and danced
6. There is nothing better in the world than wandering around the world with friends... (film “The Bremen Town Musicians”)
7. Oh, mom, I’ll give you chic, I’ll give you chic (F. Kirkorov)
8. I am free, like a bird in the sky (V. Kipelov)
9. You're lucky - you're not like everyone else! You work in an office! ("Leningrad")
10. Voyage, voyage. There, where I have never been (S. Minaev)
11. I love boogie-woogie, I boogie-woogie every day (“The Secret”)
12. Dad bought a car. Dad bought a car. Dad bought a car. (A. Pugacheva)
13. Everything will be awesome, everything will certainly be awesome. Big changes are ahead. I know this for sure: everything will be awesome (P. Volya)
14. Oh, girls, I feel like I’m going on a spree. Oh, I'll go on a spree (Verka Serduchka)
15. The plane easily carries me away (Valeria)
16. Everything is in a bunch, but with us everything is in a bunch. Where we can’t get through straight, we’ll go sideways (Potap and Nastya)
17. I'm lying in the sun. I'm looking at the sun. I lie and lie and look at the sun (film “How the Lion Cub and the Turtle Sang a Song”)
18. Freedom, freedom, give me freedom! I'll fly high like a bird! (film “Flying Ship”)
19. The trailer will move, the trailer will move, the trailer will move... The trailer will move, the platform will remain (film “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath”)
20. If there was a sea of beer, I would become a beautiful dolphin. If there was a sea of vodka, I would become a submarine (“Dune”)

From a bad habit in the new year
You will definitely get rid of it.
But here's the problem: instead of one
Two new ones will replace them

You will spend your vacation at sea,
You will warm both body and soul.
You spend the entire amount, you get burned five times,
You'll gain six kilograms.

Smile always, smile everywhere,
Smile on land and water!
Fate will repay you for your smiles
A couple of wrinkles and a lot of money!

Either you eat it, or you pump it up,
Or you'll sit in a chair -
Know that next year
You will grow your butt significantly.

If you start kissing
Every day for half an hour,
All dreams will begin to come true.
Life will be filled with miracles!

Have a higher power for you
Disappointing forecast:
New Year promises you
Love madness!

If you can, without being lazy,
Plow like a horse on Thursdays
Fate will open the way for you
To big, big money.

If you walk across the field -
You will find money in the field;
When you find the money -
You'll spend it all on a spree

Go around three miles
Talkative hairdresser:
Shreds at random
And he'll cut off your ear!

We need to forget for a year
About cognac, tequila, vodka.
Otherwise you will
In crime reports.

The cockroaches in your head will have a very fun year.

Next year your friends will not forget you. You can't forget someone who owes you money.

Next year all your problems will go away. Because even they are bored with you...

Your life next year will be as multifaceted as a glass. Well, you understand…

Your dreams will gain strength and declare war on your sofa.

Next year you will understand that your inner core is a pain in the ass.

Next year, your body will decide for itself when it sleeps, where it sleeps and with whom it sleeps. Don't contradict him - he knows better!

You will spend your vacation where everything is inclusive - with relatives.

If you get bored, sing romances. Your finances will always keep you company.

The bad news is you will gain weight. The good news is that the increase will occur in the wallet area.

What New Year's holiday can be imagined without cheerful wishes and toasts, funny competitions and games? Of course, you should think carefully in advance about how to set your guests up for a playful mood. And comic predictions for the New Year, funny wishes for the New Year, which will become a real highlight of the entire festive feast, can help with this.

Each of us expects some kind of miracle from celebrating the New Year. And it doesn’t matter at all how old a person is – five or fifty. Every year, according to an established tradition, we raise our glasses to the chimes and make our deepest wishes. The New Year's wish for “dreams coming true” is heard at every step. What more could you wish for your best friend or relative, and even do it in an original and funny way?

Not only wishes for the New Year and making wishes, but also fortune telling are considered traditional. The latter, by the way, may actually turn out to be a very interesting activity. So why don’t you and your company tell fortunes on New Year’s Eve? You can choose which version of this game is more suitable for your guests: simple or comic predictions for the New Year. But just guessing, for sure, may not be interesting to everyone. You need your guests to remember you for a long time as the most cheerful and original host. To do this, you can come up with a whole scenario of various funny fortune-telling, containing comic predictions for the New Year, and such that even people who are completely devoid of a sense of humor will like it.

In general, New Year competitions for adults are good because they can be held without leaving the festive table. Before the start of more active competitions, comic predictions for the New Year will be able to put those gathered in the right mood. And there are a lot of ideas (which we will definitely share) on how to present comic predictions and wishes for the New Year.

Option #1. You've probably already heard about cookies of fate or happiness, as they are called. These cookies are baked with a New Year's prediction or wish written on a piece of paper inside. Why don’t you prepare similar cookies and serve them with dessert, for example. You can similarly bake, more familiar to us, small nuts with filling and predictions inside.

Option number 2. You don't have to hide funny New Year's predictions in cookies. It will be much easier, and maybe even more fun, to use ordinary balloons for this purpose. Prepare the required number of balloons (it is better if there are more of them than guests). Before inflating them, write New Year's predictions on small notes and, rolling them into a tube, place one prediction inside the ball. Don't forget to prepare a pin for the New Year's party so that guests burst the selected balls.

Think carefully about what New Year's predictions to offer your guests. If you doubt that all guests will positively perceive comic predictions for the New Year, it is better to do with simple ones. For simple predictions there are just a lot of ideas: a car, an apartment, a trip to Italy, the birth of a child…. For both options, there is only one obligatory condition: the wishes must be exclusively positive, because everyone wants to have fun in the New Year. When choosing various New Year's jokes, you need to be sure that all guests will receive them well.

Option number 3. Don't forget about our long-standing tradition of baking a festive cake with surprises. Various items are placed in the pie dough: a coin, candy, a pod of hot pepper, etc. The special charm of such a pie lies in the excitement, because not everyone will get New Year's predictions and, on the contrary, some may get several at once. You need to eat such a pie carefully so as not to damage your tooth on a coin, for example.

Option number 4. There is a simplified version of the New Year's fortune pie. It is not necessary to put objects into the dough. Instead, you can cut a thick sheet of paper into squares, and after drawing a funny picture with a wish for next year on each square, put them in the pie.

Option number 5. It is also not necessary for you to make New Year’s predictions. Weave fortune telling into New Year's competitions for adults by offering guests a game similar to forfeits. Let each guest give you some item. You will choose an “oracle” - a player with a good sense of humor, who will predict fate for the next year. Show the oracle objects one by one, without naming the owner. If the oracle is endowed with a healthy sense of humor, then the company is guaranteed to have a lot of fun.

Option number 6. You can arrange, for example, an old Russian fortune telling, only in a comic style. Let's say, place several bottles around with “prophecies” inside. Blindfold the person who wants to know his future, and, having untwisted him, let him choose the first bottle he comes across by touch.

In general, comic predictions for the New Year and New Year competitions for adults can come in a wide variety of variations. The only thing that can limit you is your own imagination.

And in conclusion, we offer you several examples of New Year's predictions and comic wishes that you can use on your holiday.

Funny wishes for the New Year and comic predictions for the New Year

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In the New Year you will be fabulously lucky - you will win a million dollars!!! And then you give every penny to charity.

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In the New Year, you should not scold the black cat that ran across your path. Better take him home: the cat will be great company for your 33 parrots.

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In the New Year, you will be able to get rid of a bad habit, but in return you will acquire a couple of new ones.

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Next year, always enter your boss’s office with the left foot: then you will definitely be promoted.

New Year's jokes:

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Don't twist the button when you expect a bad event, otherwise it will definitely fall off.

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In the New Year, they will delight you by giving you the most desired gift - a goldfish! True, this fish will be stuffed with rice and herbs.

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In the third decade of the coming year, a fireworks display of bright events awaits you. Start preparing immediately!

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Smile a lot in the New Year and sign a contract with Blend-a-Med.

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When giving your beloved a bouquet of daisies, count all the petals. Remember: he must love!

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You are lucky! Therefore, in the New Year, be more modest and stop eating lucky tickets on the trolleybus!

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When crossing the road, look around carefully - there is a chance that you will meet your destiny.

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If on June 1 of next year you wear your clothes inside out, many members of the opposite sex will pay attention to you. There is a chance to meet your love!

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If you come across a foreign body in bread, know that it’s good luck!

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Beware of the bald ones!

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Your life is an endless road, so choose a reliable means of transportation - a car.

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If neighbors knock on the radiator tomorrow morning, then a fun and unforgettable year is ahead.

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Expect a new addition to the family next year. It’s likely that your neighbor’s cockroaches will come to you for permanent residence.

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If, when fortune telling on ice in a saucer, you did not see the treasured dimples that foreshadow the birth of daughters, dig them out yourself! Business.

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If the log you chose to predict the financial condition of your future husband turns out to be smooth, immediately throw it away and find a suitable one. You don't need a poor husband at all!

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If you see the reflection of your betrothed in the mirror, look around. Perhaps your husband is standing behind you.

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After this New Year, a very pleasant surprise awaits you - the Old New Year will come! A great excuse to have a drink!

Predictions for the New Year 2019: short, funny, cool

New Year's Eve is a great reason to get together with friends, have fun, talk and celebrate the long-awaited holiday - the year of the pig. Usually the guests gather together around six in the evening. They begin to taste the food on the table, start conversations and... gradually get bored. How to cheer them up and make the evening especially “delicious”? There is an option and these are funny and cool predictions for the New Year 2019. Short predictions will diversify the evening and your game program. Guests will be interested to find out what awaits them in the coming year and then check whether all this will come true. But remember - this is all a joke, although...

What's special about this game

There is no person in the world who would not want to know his future and his destiny. Many people say - no, I don’t believe it and I don’t need it - but in reality this is not so.
Therefore, the game of predictions will be interesting to everyone. And since everything that will be said is just a joke, the game will be fun and simple.

Preparing for the game

To make everything interesting, you need to prepare. First decide who will predict. For example, it could be a pig as a symbol of the coming year or a real magician and sorcerer. In any case, you will need a suitable suit.
Next, choose the best time to play this game. For example, somewhere between 21 and 22 hours, when there is little time left before the New Year, and the guests are already having more fun.
Well, for the rest you will find your way around. The better your acting, the better it is for everyone. Get some music to go out, you can learn a dance. And then play and have fun.

Options for comic predictions

There are many different versions of such predictions. We have collected the best and offer them to you. And you choose the ones that suit you and have fun.

Option 1.

Option 2.

All year you will wake up at six in the morning - you will not be late for the office
You will meet great love... approximately 140-160 kilograms
Each chocolate bar eaten in winter plus one hundred grams of weight in summer
Your dream will come true: a meat delicatessen store will open next to your home.
If you buy an explanatory dictionary, you will become smart in a year
If you stop eating meat, you will feel sorry for the pigs
If you don't cry all year, you will become rich
If you save up money before summer, then go to the sea
You will live the whole year without worries... if you quit your job
There are some things you will lose significantly in the new year. This is a wallet - you will become a fashionista and will buy a lot of new things
You'll eat well for the next year... if you give your wife a diamond ring
Save 30 thousand rubles and go on holiday in Turkey. Save 30 thousand dollars and relax in the Maldives. Accumulate 30 thousand debts - you will rest in prison
You will be in the spotlight all year - you will be appointed responsible for bonuses at work

Option 3.

There is another option in the form of a video. Just turn on the monitor and show it to your guests.

New Year is a special holiday on which it is not customary to be sad. If you take care in advance of an interesting holiday program for the company with which you are planning to spend New Year's Eve, then, for sure, this beginning of the year will be remembered by many of you. Fortune telling is considered one of the most popular and exciting entertainments on the night from December 31 to January 1. However, we emphasize that this is just about entertainment and should not be taken too seriously. All predictions should be humorous and amuse the company gathered at the table. If you pay attention to some of the ideas we have given below, then, for sure, this will make your holiday truly bright and special.

Having fun on New Year's Eve is not at all difficult if you take the time to prepare it in advance and approach the preparation of fortune-telling with humor and imagination. Remember that all predictions on this holiday should lift your spirits and set your guests in an optimistic mood, so pay special attention to their writing! Let each member of your company feel the atmosphere of good magic in the New Year and try to believe that a miracle still exists and will soon burst into his life!

Comic New Year fortune telling

Let's take a closer look at a few simple, but at the same time quite interesting fortune-telling!

Fortune telling for love

For this fortune telling, you need to prepare pictures of the same size (about the size of a fortune telling card). The pictures should depict famous and successful personalities. Now the picture needs to be cut into two parts figuratively. Hang one half of the picture on the Christmas tree, and place the other half on the table with the “pattern” down. Of course, we are not talking about one picture, but several at once. Now invite everyone to tell fortunes about his prospects that will await him in the new year. The fortuneteller must choose one of the fragments on the table and find the missing part on the tree - it is important that it is not clear from the first fragment which famous person we are talking about. As a result, in the next 12 months the life of a fortuneteller will be similar to that which was in store for the celebrity in the picture in the past year. Write down in advance the achievements of certain stars on a separate sheet of paper.

Offer your guests a fairly simple and exciting fortune telling. They need to ask some question by writing it down on paper. For example, the question is written like this: “Will my salary be raised in the new year?” Now you need to carry out a simple mathematical operation - count the letters in each of the words and add them together. In the version given in the example, it will look like this: 8+2+3+1+5+4+5=28. Since the number turned out to be two-digit, you should add its digits together (2+8=10, 1+0=1).

Now let’s see how this or that result is interpreted:
1 – You don't need to know the answer to this question.
2 – Everything will turn out the way you want.
3 – Dream less, act more!
4 – The Universe will help you!
5 – Nothing can be certain.
6 – Something may prevent your desire from coming true, be vigilant!
7 – Stay hopeful.
8 – Do not doubt anything, and luck will smile on you.
9 – Try to influence the situation.

Comic predictions

Perhaps the easiest way is to write comic predictions in advance on small pieces of paper. Put them in a bag or a regular hat, and invite each guest to take out their prediction.

Possible options for such prophecies:

Look forward joyfully - a bag of money is waiting for you!
Forget about crying - good luck awaits you!
It will be a hot year – and with it a tour to the island!
Only joy lies ahead and swimming in love!
Well, grab your luck by the tail - the keys to the dacha are waiting for you!
There will be a lot of impressions with a jar of sweet jam!
Don’t be sad, don’t be sad – there’s a lot of happiness on the way!
It's time to smile - wealth is running to you!

Gypsy comic fortune telling for the New Year

Gypsies have long been known for their accurate fortune telling, so why not take advantage of their secrets on New Year's Eve?

Despite the fact that this fortune-telling is considered humorous, it often easily puts the fortune-telling company in an optimistic mood. So, first you need to stock up on a deck of simple playing cards. Let the child sit on the deck, and you tell the guests that this way the cards will be predicted more accurately. Then mention, for example, the following: “Whoever gets more of the suit of hearts will be lucky in business throughout the next year.” After this, distribute cards to all fortune telling participants, as if for a game - now they must look at them and say whether luck smiled on them or not. The trick is for you to buy several decks in advance and make one of them - one in which all 36 cards will consist only of the suit of hearts. Surely, such a result will make everyone present smile.

Fortune telling "Magic bag"

As the celebration moves toward its conclusion, offer the guests another interesting comic fortune-telling that will indicate to them what kind of year awaits them ahead. For this entertainment, you will need some kind of fabric bag or an opaque cellophane bag, in which you should put different items of approximately the same price category (souvenirs, sweets). Now the guests need to get themselves an item - it will not only remain as a gift for them, but will also act as a kind of prediction. Write in advance on a piece of paper what this or that item will mean and what prospects it promises to its new owner. For example: a bar of dark chocolate - “In the new year everything will be “chocolate” for you”, milk chocolate - “In the coming months everything will be sweet-sweet”, a keychain in the shape of a dog - “Friendship will play a big role in your life”, a flashlight - “Soon you will make an incredible discovery” and so on.

Merry New Year's fortune telling

You will need to prepare for this fortune-telling in advance - stock up on leaves with predictions, rolled into a tube. Each tube, for a festive mood, should be tied with a ribbon. On all the pieces of paper, write funny prophecies for the coming year.

Examples of predictions:

All sorrows are behind you, happiness awaits you ahead!
You will soon be smiling - a trip to the sea awaits you!
Great luck awaits you - there is a dacha at the foot of the mountain!
Delicious dinners await you and only victories in love!
Fate will act wisely - send you on vacation abroad!
Wait for a ticket to the islands - neither for the cinema, nor for the ballet!
You won’t escape fate - they’ve been in love with you for a long time!

Place the fortune sheets on a beautiful dish and invite your guests to take one of them for themselves. After this, each of the fortune tellers can read the prediction out loud.