Who can be godparents for a boy and a girl? What does it mean to be a godmother?

Baptism is one of the important events in the life of an Orthodox person. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Particular attention should be paid to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. Therefore, the godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.

The role of a godfather in a child's life

Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:

Set a worthy example for him with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
Visiting a temple with your child.
Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
The responsibilities of the godfather also include financial support if necessary (if the parents have a difficult situation with money or work).

What do you need to know to choose godparents?

So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.

Of course, the decision about who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at the family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.

It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.

Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.

Who can't be a godfather?

When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:

Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
Parents of the baby.
Those who accepted monasticism.
Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
You cannot take as godparents people who have mental illness.
Those who profess a different faith.

All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most correct step would be to contact your confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. It is advisable to devote all your free time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Present

Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.

It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.

There is one main gift that his godfather must give the baby. The responsibilities during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift is a pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.

For parents, especially for the baby’s mother, a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family would be a good gift.

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man's joining the church was celebrated with a large number of guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and best wishes for the baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where the little man lived, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.

How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather

Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.

The responsibilities of the godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.

The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.

The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.

Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.

So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.

Baptism at home

In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).

After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger (illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place in a home environment, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony was performed in a temple.

Church life of new Christians

You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. The first acquaintance with church rules begins with the prayer of one’s own mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.

Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothing (if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on the home iconostasis (if there is one). The candle is used on special occasions and is also kept for life.

The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church with him, take communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.

This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. As you grow older, difficult questions can arise. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.

Conclusion

So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.

Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.

– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

– What should I give to my godson?

– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

– How can I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

– Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

– Which relative can be godfather?

– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?

– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have scattered from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance, but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you wear a cross?

- Do you read prayers?

– Are you reading the Gospel?

– Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

Baptism of a child is a responsible step. Parents must not only be sure that the baby needs this, but also choose the right godparents. After all, according to the purpose of the godparents, the upbringing of the child in faith and piety depends on this.

About godfather

If women often take a more responsible approach to such an event as baptism, then men can leave some details and moments to chance. This should not be done, because every godfather must remember that for his actions he will ultimately bear responsibility before God. Therefore, the godfather must first thoroughly learn his responsibilities in order to know what to do in a given situation.

Preparation

They must remember that if they are offered such a responsible role, they cannot refuse, this is considered a bad sign. Having accepted their new status as godparents, they must carefully understand what they will need to do or not do in order to prepare for the ceremony. So, a few days before the baby’s baptism, godparents must fast and not be sexually active. It is also worth remembering that atheists, as well as married people, cannot be godparents. What should the godmother and godfather understand? The duties assigned to them must be strictly fulfilled, whether they like it or not. Previously, a child had only one godparent, of the same gender, but today this has changed a little, but the main one is considered to be the godparent who is the same gender as the baby. It is also worth remembering that the godparents must bear all the costs of preparing the ceremony. A man buys a cross and also pays for the services of the church (photographer), a woman buys a baptismal shirt and a towel - kryzhma. Also, the godmother should prepare treats for guests who came to congratulate the child on such an important day as baptism.

Ceremony

The godmother must remember that during the baptism ceremony you cannot wear makeup, i.e., use any cosmetics. Any jewelry is also not welcome, but you can and even need to put on your own. The duties of a godfather during baptism do not imply anything difficult. You just need to hold the baby and do everything the priest says. It is also better to first learn the “Creed” prayer; it will need to be said during the baptism ceremony. during the ceremony the same.

Life

It is worth recalling once again that the main godfather for a child is the person who is of the same sex. If there was a godfather, he must clearly understand his responsibilities. After all, it is he who will have to tell the baby who God is, what faith the child is and how to behave correctly during various church rituals. Knowing the responsibilities of a godfather, a man must lead an honest, pious life, because the child will also look up to him and look closely at his manner of behavior. It is a misconception that godparents should only give gifts to the baby on numerous holidays, but this is not enough. It is the godmother and godfather, whose responsibilities are the spiritual upbringing of the child, who are responsible for what kind of person the child will become and how he will settle down in society in the future.

16.04.2018 1021 0

In some cases, it is impossible to do without godparents during baptisms performed in a church. But many people do not know why godparents are needed, or they make mistakes, which introduces misunderstandings into the baptism process.

What is baptism?

Baptism is one of the church sacraments, which marks a person’s arrival in the Church, his cleansing from sins, and his desire to unite with God. The peculiarity of this sacrament is that it is performed once in a lifetime; you cannot be baptized again. A person of any age from infant to old age is baptized in any church. Baptism occurs every day during the calendar year. The sacrament has a certain sequence, a baptized person receives the grace of the Holy Spirit in it, and after baptism can fully participate in church life.

The history of godparents

In the era of the emergence of Christianity, when as many people as possible sought to be baptized, the institution of godparents arose. Then they received a second name - receivers. They were entrusted with the responsibility not only to teach children (they were baptized in sufficient numbers) doctrinal truths, but also to become their teachers and educators if necessary. Accordingly, high demands were placed on their level of education and morality. Most often, they were not related by family ties to their godchildren; they had to reach a certain age and be free from monastic vows. This was the situation in the Roman Empire.

For people who wanted to be baptized in adulthood, an indispensable condition was the presence of a godparent, who guaranteed the seriousness of the intentions of the person being baptized, but the latter pronounced the vows independently, unlike children, for whom godparents did this. Then it was clear why a godfather was needed. It was needed for a boy. The answer to the question why a godmother is needed is also clear - the girl would not be baptized without her. Subsequently, the situation changed towards closer relations with blood relationships - the newly baptized person had to have godparents of both sexes.

This custom became widespread in Rus', where babies were most often baptized a few days after birth. The minimum age for godparents was fixed by the Synod and was 14 years old; there were also provisions according to which the godmother must be 13 years old, and the godfather must be 15 years old. The responsibilities of the godfather and mother were divided: the father was responsible for covering all financial expenses, and the mother had to prepare clothes for the godson/goddaughter.

Who needs godparents now?

These days, it is mandatory to have godparents for babies. There is no upper age limit; in church practice, godparents are usually needed for children under 14-15 years of age. In some cases, it is possible to have recipients up to the age of majority - 18 years. There is nothing wrong with the fact that godparents are people deeply immersed in church life and are ready to share their spiritual experience with their godson. The main thing is that this happens with the consent of both parties, and there is complete mutual understanding between them.

Sometimes they ask why godparents are needed when baptizing an adult. As a general rule, they are not needed, but sometimes people who are not recipients are present at baptism. Their task boils down to supporting a person entering Christian life and providing assistance in his first steps in the church. Priests note this as a positive trend.

Requirements for godparents

- Orthodox religion - people of other faiths cannot be godparents. Atheists who deny God cannot become recipients.
- Churching is a condition that, given the current rhythm of life, is often not possible to fulfill. Ideally, a person preparing to become a godfather should regularly attend church, participate in the sacraments, and know the basics of the Orthodox faith in order to pass them on to his godson.
- High moral qualities, in order for this person to be able to teach a child good things, the vices of modern society - alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking - must be alien to him.
- There is no consensus regarding the age of godparents. The average age is 14 years, but most often persons over 17 years of age are allowed to serve as godparents. There is no upper age limit.
- Currently, when baptizing, it is mandatory to have at least one godparent of the same gender as the child being baptized. Sometimes a godfather and godmother are invited.

- Blood parents cannot become godparents for their child. They are also not allowed to become foster children for one child. Future marriage between a godmother and father who met at a christening is not permitted.
- Relatives of children - grandparents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts - have the right to be godparents. Often parents choose their friends or good acquaintances as godparents.

Sometimes there are opinions about why a godmother is needed if she is unmarried or pregnant. This is speculation and superstition - they can be full-fledged godmothers. You can be a godparent as many times as you like; godparents can have many godchildren.

Responsibilities of godparents

The explanation of why godparents are needed follows from a consideration of their duties. The responsibilities of godparents are divided into those that they are required to perform before and during baptism, and those that they must perform in the future.

The first group includes the following responsibilities:

- Before baptism, the godparents, and sometimes the child’s parents, must undergo public conversations at the church in which it is planned to baptize the child. Their form and duration are determined individually.

- The recipients pronounce the required vows in place of the baptized baby, say prayers: the Creed and the Our Father. It is advisable that they know more about Orthodoxy than is necessary within the sacrament of baptism.
- Godparents are not required to give gifts, but they can do so. A popular gift for babies is a small spoon, which will be the first spoon the baby will use to eat.

Understand why a child needs godparents after baptism , easy if you look at their responsibilities. They are divided into three groups:

- Prayerful - they should try to pray for their godchildren and teach them at least basic prayers.
- Doctrinal - to give the godchildren an idea of the Orthodox faith.
- Moral - to teach godchildren to behave according to their conscience and to be a worthy example for them.

Problems associated with godparents

There are several of them, some of them can be solved quite easily, since they are often far-fetched, while the other part requires serious thought.

- The degree of closeness between the family of the baptized child and the godparents. Situations arise when people who are completely strangers to the family are called to be godparents. Often this is done by a priest who finds a parishioner (parishioner) of this temple and asks them to become godparents for the child, because the parents could not find suitable people. This will end well provided that the family gets to know the godfather/godmother, and he/she will actively participate in the life of the godson/godson.
- Often, during baptism, the recipients know little about the Orthodox faith, so they have nothing to teach the baptized child. If they actively participate in church life and strive to learn new things, then the fulfillment of their duties can be considered successful.

- Sometimes there is a desire to introduce a godson to Orthodoxy, but the godparents live too far from him, so they cannot take him to church. It is better from the very beginning to try to choose those people who live close to you as godparents.
- Some parents become dissatisfied with the godfather or mother, perhaps without reason, and want to change them by baptizing the child. This procedure is unacceptable. It is desirable that there be a trusting relationship between the child’s blood and godparents. Also, some recipients want to abandon their responsibilities, but this cannot be done. Before baptism, it is necessary to carefully weigh everything and refuse the proposed mission - the baby’s parents should not be offended.
- Another problem that often arises is when the relatives of the child who is to be baptized are against it. This could even be one of the parents; this situation is undesirable. Baptism, secret from one of the parents, will complicate life for everyone in the future; a consensus must be reached even before the sacrament is performed.

Baptism is the most important sacrament for an Orthodox person. If it occurs in childhood, then the child has godparents, who, along with his blood parents, become close people to him. In spiritual terms, their connection is even greater, so godparents are required to be determined to fulfill their duties with full dedication, which can be quite difficult in the modern world.

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Since ancient Rus', our country has had a tradition of baptizing children, without giving them the opportunity to choose another faith.

Thus, in Russia, the majority of citizens adhere to the Orthodox faith.

In order to baptize a child, it is necessary to choose godparents. And the Orthodox Church strictly sets the requirements for who can be godparents, so it is important to know and follow these rules.

The sacrament itself is performed directly in the church. There are no age restrictions for joining Orthodoxy, so this ritual can be performed by a person at any age.

But according to Russian customs, parents of newborns try to baptize their children in the first year of life. Thus, they place their baby under the protection of the Almighty.

Godparents must be present during the baptism ceremony. They are considered people who are in spiritual closeness with their godson. They should be the child's mentors in the future.

At the same time, it is believed that it is not at all necessary that there be two parents. One is enough, but for boys there must be a godfather, and for girls a godmother.

The presence of the parents in the church is not necessary, but if the child is small, then it will be much calmer for him to be close to his family in an unfamiliar place.

During the baptism process, the godparent must hold the child and be constantly with him. If the baby is small, then he is completely immersed in holy water.

If a person is already an adult, then he simply must plunge his head three times into holy water. After bathing the child, the godparent must pick him up, dry him and put on new clothes.

Before choosing godparents for your child, as well as agreeing to become a godfather for someone, it is important to understand the very essence of this rite and your further responsibilities towards the godson.

You cannot simply attend the ceremony and then forget about the responsibility to the child that is assigned by faith.

Baptism itself is called the second birth of a person. At this moment his spiritual world is born. Since faith implies that the life of the soul does not end after death, being in a human body, it should not accumulate sins within itself.

That is why the church imposes the following responsibilities on godparents:

The problem of many families in the modern world is that their children undergo the rite of baptism, but in fact they do not see the embodiment of Christian ideas in the family.

If the family is not involved in the faith, and even more so if the basic commandments are violated, it will be much more difficult for the child to perceive life in accordance with these commandments.

Most churches now do not perform the baptism ceremony until the godparents have completed special courses.

This measure was created so that people are aware of the full responsibility of this step and are able to refuse before they assume their responsibilities to the Almighty.

After completing the courses, people become truly ready for the sacrament, and they understand what they should do after baptism throughout their lives.

Knowing all the responsibilities assigned to godparents, you need to choose those people who are most suitable for fulfilling them.

But it is also important to consider certain points:

The religion of the godparents themselves.
Family connection with the future godson.
The family connection between the godparents themselves.
Special periods for women.
Age of godparents.

To take these features into account, you need to know who cannot be godparents according to church laws:

The question also often arises about whether it is possible to be pregnant at the sacrament of baptism? The Church does not prohibit the entry of women carrying a child under their hearts, and also does not prohibit becoming a godmother.

Knowing all these features, as well as your close circle of friends and family, it can be quite difficult to choose someone.

Very often it turns out that among the possible options for godparents there are the same people for many relatives and friends.

Therefore, it turns out that the same person is often offered to become godfather several times for different children.

And two main questions arise:

This is why courses for godparents, now organized by many churches, are important. Because, despite the fact that in 2019 it is becoming increasingly fashionable to baptize a child, as well as assign him influential godparents, the most important thing is forgotten, this is the essence of baptism itself.

The financial status of the appointed godparent is not so important as his lifestyle, which must comply with biblical covenants.

The godparent must be a spiritual mentor and show his godson by example how to live and what spiritual principles must be observed in any situation.

It is also important to know that you cannot change godparents after baptism.. Chosen parents become parents for life. Sometimes it happens that after baptism the godparent greatly changed his lifestyle for the worse.

But in this case, the godson himself and his parents must pray for the godparent’s deliverance from sins and try to put him on the right path.

No one has the right to refuse such a godparent. It is impossible to re-baptize. Therefore, it is very important to choose reliable godparents for your children.

However, in cases where the godparent renounced Orthodoxy, accepted another faith, or became an atheist, then such a sacred union will be considered dissolved.

Similarly, we can evaluate those cases when the godparent has sunk to the most forbidden sins, which are prohibited by the Testaments.

In this case, it is implied that this person does not want to live according to the precepts of the Bible, and also does not want to be an example for his godson.

In this case, the natural parents can ask other godly people to take charge of their child's spiritual lifestyle. It is imperative to inform the holy father about this situation before the ceremony itself.

Many godparents like to pamper their godchildren with expensive gifts in order to win their favor and bring them closer spiritually.

But you need to understand that this is not the purpose of godparents. Parents should not choose godparents based on the size of their wallet.

The best gifts that the church mentions are:

This is exactly what gifts from godparents to their godchildren should look like. But besides this, the church does not prohibit giving other gifts that will delight the child. But still, the main emphasis should be placed on the spiritual education of the godson.

It is also believed that the most important date for giving is the name day of the godson’s guardian angel. During the sacrament of baptism, a person who converts to Orthodoxy receives a second name.

It may coincide with his real name, if this name is in the Orthodox book of names. And if the name is missing, then the child will be assigned a different name from this book.

Each such name has a name day date. If the selected name has several dates during the year when name days are celebrated, the date closest to the Orthodox person’s birthday is selected. It is on this date that godparents must give gifts to their godson.

Knowing all the nuances of the sacrament, as well as the requirements of the church for godparents, it is important to approach the choice of a godparent very responsibly.

It is better to make them a responsible relative than an influential family friend. Because financial values in this case are not as important as spiritual ones.