Tips on how to stop being shy around people. Difficulties in life for modest people

People often suffer from shyness. This chilling feeling when you begin to feel embarrassed when communicating with another person, answering a question, speaking in front of an audience or telling something is familiar to many. Of course, shyness is directly related to a lack of self-confidence, various complexes, and the fear of being in a stupid position or not being able to cope with a planned task. Shyness quite often has a negative impact on a person’s life in general. He follows the path of least resistance, tries to avoid awkward situations, reduce risks, cannot present himself well, or fully demonstrate his abilities and talents. How to stop being shy and start making your dreams come true, live calmly and look confidently into the future, remove the restrictions that almost always constrain you? It is important to remember a number of nuances, a few simple tips and act in accordance with the algorithm.

Let's stop being shy. Useful recommendations and a few nuances

To stop being shy, you must first understand the sources and reasons for your shyness. Think about what exactly causes you shyness, a feeling of awkwardness, constraint, fear. People are often embarrassed:
- get acquainted, establish new contacts;
- communicate with unfamiliar people, be in large companies;
- public speaking;
- answer questions, for example, in an exam or lesson;
- communicate with people of the opposite sex;
- contact people in high positions;
- laugh;
- dress, look, behave unusually;
- take a leading position in some business, receive praise;
- take initiative, show enthusiasm, stand out.
There are still plenty of reasons for embarrassment. Don't let them limit you, reduce your potential and close promising paths to you.
Approach the problem responsibly and imagine that you are a professional psychologist who wants to understand himself. Analyze your internal state. You've seen several common factors that cause embarrassment. Now you need to clearly imagine all the situations in which you experienced shyness. Take a pen and paper. Write down point by point what exactly causes your shyness. Leave some space between the lines or on the sides. Reflect as many factors as possible on the piece of paper. Remember not only what happened in the recent past, but also quite a long time ago. Even childhood impressions will be useful to you: we learn a lot from an early age, but then the sensations are somewhat transformed.
Having compiled an exhaustive list of reasons that cause you to be shy, proceed to the next stage. Analyze the sources of the constricting sensation. For example, if you are embarrassed to answer an exam, this noticeably interferes with you, does not allow you to really express yourself and demonstrate your knowledge, it is important to thoroughly understand the true reasons for shyness. There may be several of them:
- you are unable to clearly formulate your thoughts, this knocks you out of the right mood, and as a result you are embarrassed when you speak;
- you are not sure of the correct answers;
- Once upon a time you were given comments regarding speech, its volume, clarity;
- you are embarrassed by some external factors;
- you are embarrassed by the teacher’s gaze, his severity.
Please note that to get rid of shyness, you need to get rid of all the factors that cause embarrassment. If you are well prepared, rehearse your answers, raise your voice and begin to monitor the clarity of speech and intonation, get rid of the fear of the teacher, shyness will go away by itself. This is how you need to act in all situations. To do this, you will need to analyze each item reflected in your piece of paper. Think about what reasons cause embarrassment, reflect them all on paper in the appropriate paragraphs. You can devote a separate piece of paper to each factor and write down the reasons in detail.
Re-read all your notes again. Self-analysis should be as thorough, detailed and objective as possible. When you already have a detailed picture in front of you, you need to think through all the ways that will allow you to remove restrictions and eliminate problems that cause constraint. For example, in order to start speaking confidently, clearly, beautifully, you need to work on your speech, train your voice, develop your own style, intonation, and rehearse in front of a mirror. Outline a detailed action plan. Don't miss a single point, not a single cause of embarrassment that you will eliminate. Improve yourself, follow your plan and devote the necessary time to your studies every day. It is enough to set aside at least an hour to start, but act consistently, then you will be able to stop being shy.
Despite the importance of your studies and work on yourself, try to treat yourself objectively and not fetter your individuality with fears. Remember that you are already making efforts, improving yourself, and have every chance of demonstrating noticeable personal growth in the near future. You shouldn’t be embarrassed that not everything has worked out yet. Anyone can make a mistake, you have the right to make one. Allow yourself to make mistakes sometimes, don’t reproach yourself. Focus your energy on eliminating them in the future.
Evaluate yourself. Learn to look at yourself from the outside, develop your own “measurement”. Strive for more, but don't let others manipulate you. Treat comments, advice and complaints more calmly. Try to make the most of them, but don't get discouraged. If complaints arise, immediately think about how to correct the situation and make sure that this does not happen in the future.
Your relaxedness, self-confidence, and ability to communicate play a big role. You should never be ashamed of your appearance, manner of speaking, laughter; you should not be afraid to make new contacts and meet people. Communicate more, correct, if possible, what does not suit you. Don't avoid things that cause embarrassment. On the contrary, get used to it, learn to feel comfortable in such circumstances.

Set yourself up for a positive attitude towards the surrounding reality. Keep track of your achievements, analyze your work on yourself, do not constantly remember shortcomings and mistakes.

How to stop being shy? Algorithm
If you want to stop being shy, you must immediately begin specific actions. Remember the tips, work according to the algorithm to overcome embarrassment.

Try to get rid of fears and embarrassment. Develop self-confidence, relaxedness, and naturalness.
Remember that shyness is a serious obstacle to your personal growth, career, and personal life. It prevents you from expressing yourself, showing your strengths, establishing new contacts, and finding promising paths.
Consider how important it is to get rid of shyness: imagine how much you can achieve by realizing your full potential.
Begin a specific analysis of the problem, study your shyness. Take pieces of paper and a pen. Concentrate and remember all the situations and factors that cause you embarrassment. Write them down point by point.
Now move on to the next stage of analysis. Think about what causes shyness in each case. Reflect this on pieces of paper.
Outline an action plan to eliminate the causes of your shyness. Write everything down.
Begin to consistently implement your plan, do not forget a single point, pay equal attention to everything.
Keep a small diary: reflect in it all your successes on the path to overcoming shyness. Even if the achievement seems insignificant (for example, you are no longer embarrassed to laugh or cover your mouth with your hand), do not forget that there are no trifles here - everything is important.

Work purposefully, stimulate yourself, mark every step that reduces the impact of embarrassment on you, then your shyness will certainly pass over time.

What is it like for shy people? It is difficult for them to believe in themselves and their strengths, they are undeservedly forgotten in cheerful companies, sit on the sidelines, and have difficulty communicating with colleagues, superiors, acquaintances and strangers.

Shy people often cannot find loyal friends or a soul mate, and experience difficulties in work and other consumer areas. What to do? How to get rid of shyness and self-consciousness for children and adults?

Where does embarrassment come from?

To find a cure for a disease, you need to determine the cause of its occurrence. This is why it is so important to understand where modesty, shyness and timidity come from. There can be many reasons, let’s consider the main factors of shyness:

self-doubt, low self-esteem;
psychological trauma after a negative communication experience;
complexes regarding appearance, height, weight, etc.;
age crisis;
inflated demands on one’s person;
environmental rejection;
chronic fatigue and loss of interest in life;
health problems;
poor performance at school and much more.

It should be noted that modesty is a natural or feigned character trait; in each case, you can change yourself and adjust your behavior in society. Every person feels uncomfortable in unfamiliar circumstances, but over time they loosen up, become more sociable and find a common language with people.

When it is very difficult to cross the threshold of uncertainty and shyness, then this is already a problem that needs to be solved, and the sooner the better. How to help a child overcome shyness and become the “life of the party”?

Developing confidence in communication

It is necessary to learn to overcome embarrassment at an early age, so that the child can build a career correctly in the future, find a common language with the right people, and at the same time not be afraid to take the first step on the path of the new and unknown.

Top 5 effective tips on how to teach a child not to be shy:

Modesty, shyness and indecisiveness are frequent companions on the path to growing up, and therefore it is important from the first years of life not to limit the baby’s communication, it is important to introduce him to the adult world as early as possible (walks, kindergarten, going to work with his parents, etc.).
If a child is shy and unsure of his words and actions, then you need to have an educational conversation with him, discuss the current situation, possible solutions to it, and show by your own example what would be the best thing to do in such a case.
It is imperative to take into account the experiences and emotions in the baby’s soul, do not force him to take certain actions, run towards a stranger, say hello or kiss. We need to figure out why the child is afraid of people, why he shows shyness, and what reasons prompted this behavior.
Children love cartoons and fairy tales most of all, so why not take advantage of this favorite pastime in order to convey the basic tenets: how to teach a child not to be embarrassed by strangers, to feel comfortable in any life situation.
Parents must help the child overcome fear of contact with children on playgrounds, teach the child to get acquainted and make contact with new people, while observing acceptable limits.

We cannot ignore various factors that can lead to shyness and uncertainty in a child, such as hereditary factors, physical disabilities, and pressure from educators and teachers. How to teach a child not to be shy from the first years of life, to become more sociable and get rid of timidity and indecisiveness?

It is necessary to increase the child’s self-esteem, praise him, support him in all his endeavors, then everything will certainly work out and your child will be able to overcome embarrassment and become more confident in life.

Shyness in adulthood - how to re-educate yourself?

If shyness accompanies in adult life, then here it is necessary to consider the previous origins and begin to eliminate the causes of the appearance of such a condition. What to do in this case - how to overcome embarrassment:

in order to stop blushing and being shy when meeting strangers, you need to expand your social circle, take initiative, and figure out why you feel so awkward in a given situation;
if modesty is associated with dissatisfaction with one’s appearance, then you need to correct it, if possible, or reconcile yourself and reconsider your views on this “problem” (tall/short stature, large/small ears, eyes, mouth, etc.), try to find this is the highlight and do not be ashamed of yourself in the reflection of the mirror;
become a professional in your field, stop noticing failures, focus more on positive events, encourage yourself for taking new steps towards getting rid of shyness and uncertainty;
You can overcome embarrassment and awkwardness with humor, fascinating stories, interesting facts, stop sitting on the sidelines and watching what is happening, now you can surprise the audience;
If during your attempts to communicate a person interrupts speech, does not know how to listen, does not perceive other people’s opinions, then you should not attribute this to your own failure, look for new acquaintances, common interests, and do not transfer all failures to your own account.

To stop being shy and become more sociable, you need to train your confidence, learn to clearly greet acquaintances and strangers, start a casual conversation, when buying something, it is important to be interested in the opinion of the seller, ask questions, and be active. Thus, you can easily remove shyness and embarrassment, become more confident and sociable.

Many girls try to be in the shadow of their more successful and bright friends because of embarrassment and timidity, and men do not dare to take the first step towards the woman they like if his friends have already tried, but nothing worked. Here it is important to believe in yourself and your inner strength, to show individuality, and not get lost behind the screen of more confident people.

In order not to blush from embarrassment, you need to create a favorable atmosphere “both inside and outside”, remove complexes and stereotypes that prevent you from taking the first step towards a long-awaited dream.

Confidence and getting rid of embarrassment is a significant step towards a happy future, a means to achieve a goal, an indicator of a person’s vitality. To stop being shy, you can ask the Lord for strength and support, and sincerely pray with a request to find inner lightness and freedom.

How to become more sociable?

If you don’t remove embarrassment, it will be difficult to show your communication skills. A blushing person feels awkward in an unfamiliar environment, and even in a circle with family and friends may experience discomfort.

Such a problem as shyness must be solved from an early age; it is important to stop being embarrassed, and spend more time on your self-development and knowledge of the world. And for this it is important to adhere to the following postulates, which will help you be less shy and more active:

a healthy body (in good shape) – a healthy mind;
rich vocabulary;
beautiful speech;
correct facial expressions;
eye contact;
respect for the opponent;
positive smile;
ability to listen and hear.

You need to learn to be interesting, overcome embarrassment, be eloquent and witty, surprise and amuse the audience. The main thing is not to overdo it, it is important to become a pleasant and patient interlocutor.

How to start a conversation?

To stop blushing and feeling awkward, you can first start a conversation about nothing, and then talk about more serious topics. The weather can be an excuse, as a transition to something interesting and exciting.

“It’s raining today, so I couldn’t go to the cinema where they showed my favorite film.” And then you can ask which one, why the interlocutor liked it, maybe agree on a subsequent joint trip to watch this film, etc.

If you are surprised by your companion’s jewelry, hairstyle, or clothes, then don’t keep it to yourself, give a compliment, give him a smile, and the conversation will certainly become pleasant and friendly, and the embarrassment “will go away.”

At first, when communicating with a stranger, you should not touch on topics of your personal life; let the person meet you halfway. In the meantime, you can talk about sports, hobbies, pets, music, etc.

To become more sociable and get rid of embarrassment, it is useful to attend various events, go on a visit, invite friends and acquaintances to your home, spend more time outside the home, and in the company of those people with whom you feel cozy and comfortable in any weather.

The connection between sociability and personal relationships

Many people cannot find a partner only because they are very shy, blush and timid when communicating with the opposite sex. And therefore they are not able to taste all the joys of life, create a family, give birth to children, and so on.

That is why it is so important to seriously think about this issue, how to get rid of embarrassment and timidity, how to adapt to society in order to build a successful career, find your other half, and raise your offspring correctly.

Those who have overcome the fear of society will become much happier, so you need to increase self-confidence, eliminate embarrassment, believe in your strength, thank the Lord for every day you live and personal achievements.

If you don’t take your shyness as a cross for life, you can easily cope with it. And for this you need to work on yourself, learn new things, rewarding yourself for positive results.

Affirmations on the way to getting rid of embarrassment

You can overcome embarrassment with affirmations - positive statements in the present tense that will help you become what you want. To stop being shy and become more sociable, you need to say several times a day, looking in the mirror:

I am confident and sociable, ready to make new acquaintances and communicate with people.
I love my appearance (eyes, lips, ears, arms, legs, height, weight...).
I like my voice, I like to communicate and express my views on what is happening.
I accept myself as I am and thank the Lord for my character and temperament.
I got rid of embarrassment and became more sociable. And there was no trace of shyness left.

You can choose one phrase and say it as often as possible in order to get rid of negative formed beliefs. Now you know how to stop being shy about your appearance and overcome obstacles on the path to finding inner freedom and happiness.

Stop blushing and reproaching yourself for your lack of will and determination. Psychology insists that only we ourselves are capable of changing ourselves, the main thing is to remove the signs of pessimism, embarrassment and fear, it is important to curb our inner strength and take a bold step into the future.

Embarrassment is not a vice - but a reminder that we are all individual and ready to change, on the way to the new and unknown!

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 13 minutes

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Shy people always suffer from their shyness. Even if they don't realize it. Moreover, as a rule, they do not turn to specialists precisely because of shyness.

This vicious circle does not allow them to become free people and improve their own lives. Although many argue that shyness has its own charm...

What is shyness and self-consciousness - where did it come from and how do they manifest themselves?

The term “shyness” refers to the lack of opportunity to clearly and openly, without fear, express oneself and declare one’s interests.

Typically this condition develops based on "little man" complex, in which this person feels guilty for the inconvenience caused to others, considers himself uninteresting to society, and so on.

But, if you dig even deeper, shyness goes hand in hand with cowardice, self-doubt, fear, complexes and false modesty.

Video: Shyness is the cause of failure

False shyness - or true shyness?

It is important to distinguish true shyness from! When a person is embarrassed because the shameful actions required by the situation are beyond his moral boundaries, this is decent shyness and completely normal behavior.

It’s another matter when a person’s shyness begins to take the form of noticeable self-doubt - this phenomenon definitely needs to be fought.

If not on your own, then with the help of specialists.

The main causes of shyness usually include:

Fear. Fear of rejection, condemnation, misunderstanding, etc.
Cowardice.
Low self-esteem , lack of self-confidence.
Dependence on other people's opinions and self-doubt.
Presence of complexes.
Closed character , isolation.
Loneliness, isolation from society . Lack of basic skills necessary for free communication.
Genetics and parental example . Shy, complex parents most often have equally shy, complex children.
Experienced psychological trauma , fear of communicating with others.
Abundance of criticism in the family , constant humiliation and life in prohibitions, “Puritan” upbringing.
Ignorance.

Studying the causes of shyness, we can confidently say that shyness is based primarily on human complexes, internal tightness caused by specific factors. And the question - to treat or not to treat shyness - disappears by itself.

If we are not talking about behavior that is normal for a well-mannered and worthy person, which is expressed in healthy embarrassment as a reaction to one or another “unhealthy” situation, then we are talking about shyness, which can and should be eradicated, gradually changing it to self-confidence, the right to speak, think and act as your heart and head tell you.

Is shyness always a disadvantage: negative and positive aspects

The advantages of shyness include the following advantages (if we talk about shyness as a side of character, and not the result of psycho-traumas and complexes):

Shy people are highly sensitive people . Their friendship and love are always strong and unbreakable. If a shy person found the strength to trust and open up, it means he raised his “visor” and let his feelings fly freely. And the power of a closed person’s feelings is always powerful, and this “tsunami” is preceded (mandatorily) by a thorough analysis of whether it is really possible to open up and trust a partner (friend).
Shyness makes a person more cautious , which means more attentive and less vulnerable.
A shy person is self-critical and is able to form a more adequate assessment of one’s own self.
Shyness strengthens family relationships and even enhances the fullness of sensations in intimate life (many men note excitement, which is caused by a woman’s shyness).
Shy people are often classified as secular, sophisticated, aristocratic . Shyness puts a person in a favorable light - as serious, modest, not causing harm or pain to other people, and incapable of “dirty tricks.”
Shy people are more selective in their choice of friends. and social circle in general.
Shy people listen more and talk less. , avoid conflicts, are cautious and picky.
Shy people don't stand out from the crowd , they seem to wear masks of shyness that allow them to remain anonymous.

Among the disadvantages of shyness:

Without a certain amount of arrogance and assertiveness, it is difficult to make your way in this world.
Shy people find it difficult to climb the career ladder - they are simply not noticed.
The personal life of shy people is a separate issue. For the same reason.
Despite men’s love for shy girls, in reality they often pay attention to relaxed and confident ladies.
Shy people don’t know how to say “no,” which is why they are often given extra work, borrowed money and not paid back, and so on.
A shy person has great difficulty solving problems that require communication with strangers.
Shy people are often deprived of the classic joys of relaxation because they are too shy to sing, dance, or express their emotions in general. And emotions that are not released in time will one day group into severe depression and neurasthenia.
Shy people are too vulnerable and too sensitive; they react very painfully to any reproach, criticism, or comments about their shortcomings.
Shy people are closer to the world of illusions - fantasies, dreams, movies and book novels - than the real “cruel” world. The consequence is the lack of an adequate assessment of reality as a whole. A shy person who is unable to adequately evaluate people and relationships often becomes a victim of deception and more serious actions.

Video: How to Stop Being Shy? | Shyness

How to overcome shyness in 10 simple steps - tips that really work

To fight or not to fight shyness?

Definitely - fight! Moreover, if it interferes with your life, and you yourself realize it.

How to fight?

Many books have been written on this topic and no less films have been made, but we will highlight the main advice from experts separately - in 10 simple steps to help you cope with this “disease” and gain self-confidence:

We do what we fear most. Take a pen and write a list of all the situations in which your shyness manifests itself. Let's start with the most serious ones. For example, “perform at the institute in front of everyone,” or “meet a young man on the street,” or “go to a dance school,” etc. Have you written a list? And now, strictly point by point, starting from the very first, we knock out a wedge with a wedge! We are preparing a lecture and delivering it at the institute. Then we meet on the street. Next, we sign up for a dance school, etc. If it’s difficult, you can start from the end of the list, with the easiest situations.
We keep a diary of observations. Carry a notepad with you and write down every situation that caused you to feel embarrassed or nervous. At home, analyze these situations and analyze why you were embarrassed and what to do to prevent this from happening again. For example: “Situation – ask the driver to stop the minibus; The reason for embarrassment is that people will pay attention; The level of embarrassment is 5 points out of 10,” and now we are looking for a way to cope with anxiety.
Self-confidence can be faked! Over time, you will get involved, you will like it, and you can be confident in yourself quite sincerely.
Speak little, slowly and loudly. Train at home. Join a theater club - it liberates even the shyest people.
Nobody cares about you! Remember this. In fact, people really don’t care what you’re wearing, whether your voice trembles, whether you’re worried, and so on. Therefore, worrying about people who don't care about you simply doesn't make sense.
Love yourself for who you are. . Confident people don't waste time worrying about being short, having narrow shoulders, not having white teeth, having a burr, or anything else. Confident people accept themselves as nature created them.
Smile, gentlemen! A smile is always a sign of a confident person. Start in the morning with the mirror. Then smile at passers-by, neighbors, colleagues, and so on. And be sure to look the person in the eyes when you smile. In response, people also begin to smile (in 90% of cases), and your self-confidence will grow by leaps and bounds along with your mood.
Sign up for sections and clubs , where you will be forced to communicate with people and constantly fight shyness.
Attend group thematic trainings , which are carried out for shy people to help them cope with shyness.
Change your environment often. Travel constantly. Create situations for yourself in which you have to go beyond your usual boundaries and get out of your comfortable shell.

Video: How to finally stop being shy?

And also...

Look for motivation! For example, career. Or a loved one. Or the dream is to dance tango on stage.
Analyze your life and find the reasons for your shyness.
Learn from other people's experiences in the fight against shyness.
Develop your sense of humor – it helps to maintain internal balance even in the most extreme situations.
Fight your fears : study your fears under a magnifying glass, simulate situations of getting rid of fears.
Do more stupid things and become daring . For example, buy yourself a motorcycle instead of a car. Or sing a song on the balcony in the middle of the night - loudly so that everyone can hear. Change your image radically so that everyone will be stunned by what a fatal beauty you turn out to be. Invite someone you like for a walk.
Play some sports . Sport not only gives you beautiful shape, but also strengthens the spirit and also raises self-esteem. Immediately sign up for a gym and look for a trainer who will teach you not only how to create a sculpted body, but how to be yourself.
Constantly ask passers-by how long it is and how to get to house No. 14 . It doesn’t matter that you have a watch, but there is no house number 14 on this street - just ask. Every day - 20-30 times, regardless of gender and age.

What to do if you can’t cope with painful shyness, who should you turn to for help?

Every 10th person on the planet experiences extreme shyness. This every 10th shy guy can only feel relaxed at home, alone.

Of course, it is extremely difficult to cure this “disease” only with sports if the disease has already reached the level of “I can’t call an ambulance because I’m embarrassed.”

Therefore, if your shyness is already crossing all conceivable boundaries, then you need complex and powerful treatment. And you most likely won’t be able to do it without the help of specialists.

Who and what can help you and point you in the right direction?

Psychologists.
Specialists who give recommendations remotely – online.
Group trainings.
Special books with practical guides.
Thematic films that charge you with positivity, teach you to fight shyness and set you up for heroic deeds.

Don't try to get rid of shyness in a month. This process can take up to a year. But gradually, step by step, with regular exercises, which have long been written by experienced psychologists, you will get rid of this shortcoming.

Have there been similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

Shyness is not a vice

First of all, stop gnawing and torturing yourself for being too timid. All our fears, and at the same time our insecurities, end where love begins. Sincere, pure and real. To ourselves (please do not confuse this with narcissism). And you need to be imbued with the rather simple idea that modesty and delicacy are advantages, and in no case disadvantages. As soon as it becomes stronger in your mind, you will immediately begin to worry less. But it’s your anxiety that you’re too tight that’s preventing you from liberating yourself.

Smile!

Do you think this is frivolous advice? You're wrong! Try to go to the mirror in the morning and smile at your own reflection from the bottom of your heart. Happened? Now hold back your smile. Now smile even wider and as cheerfully as possible... In fact, few people cope with this test. For some, instead of smiling, they get some kind of grimace, for others, their facial muscles begin to twitch, for others, it seems that only idiots can smile for no reason.
Do you also think that smiling when meeting strangers in the office or in your entrance is somehow stupid? Believe me, another hundred thousand introverts who give the impression of stone idols think exactly the same way. Few people are friends with them, they don’t dare to get to know them, they are not invited to parties, and if they are invited, they try to stay away from them. And you know, this doesn’t surprise us.
How to overcome shyness? Finally, force yourself to smile! Remember something pleasant often and practice as hard as you can. To begin with, at least go to the nearest supermarket and smile at the saleswoman.

Don't stay at home

Psychologists believe that complexes are far from the main cause of shyness and self-consciousness. A person simply lacks experience in communication. Have you ever noticed how you behave when you find yourself in a society where there are many people you don’t know? The most desperate modest people in such a situation usually remain silent and generally withdraw into themselves, like a snail into a shell. There is no need to be afraid to talk to strangers.
How to get rid of shyness? Experts have some basic advice: you need to be outside more often. Yes, literally walk around and ask for directions to the library, even if you know the way there well. This method - asking unfamiliar passersby for directions - is considered good training.

Talk

Try not to have lunch alone. People have at least one ancient powerful instinct associated with the ritual of sharing food. When they gather at the same table, their subconscious says: “We are friends, everything is fine.” And so they relax, become more relaxed, and, therefore, more talkative.
It is during such “informal” conversations that you can learn a lot about a person. Try to remember some information about your friends: the names of their loved ones, the names of animals, some important events from their lives. This is not a mandatory rule. But on occasion, your memory can provide you with an invaluable service.
Don't panic if you don't know how to start a conversation. There are many things that can be a topic of conversation. Hobbies, film premieres, the last book you read, a concert, a LiveJournal blog - you can discuss any of them with your interlocutor.

Change your point of view

You are afraid to open up to a person, you are embarrassed to tell him what you think, you are afraid of doing something wrong and ending up in an awkward and funny situation. In a word, you are afraid that they might offend you and leave you alone. Therefore, you use inaccessibility as armor - this is a completely typical method of self-defense.
Try to change your point of view. Don’t think that someone might leave you, considering you uninteresting, unattractive, and the list goes on. Start thinking something like this: “If he (so-and-so) doesn’t appreciate my abilities, I’ll break up with him myself.” And repeat this as a mantra to overcome shyness and insecurity.

Many of us judge liberated, self-confident people, although in fact we want to be like them. This is not surprising, since such individuals strive to become the soul of the company, they charge you with energy and leave a piece of themselves after leaving. On the other hand, people who are not shy appear self-confident and arrogant. One way or another, to overcome shyness, you need to study all aspects and make a competent plan. Let's talk about everything in order.

Reasons for shyness

People become shy when they spend a lot of time alone. The inability to communicate socially is caused by a lack of basic communication skills.
The genetic factor also contributed. If a child grows up in a family with shy parents, this feature will be transferred automatically.
People who are unsure of their abilities are often shy. This happens due to constant criticism from others or low self-esteem imposed by the subconscious.
Fear of communicating with others and, as a result, isolation arises due to the psychological trauma experienced. A person tries to protect himself from future losses, so he becomes shy.
If a child lives in a family that regularly criticizes and humiliates him, the child will automatically grow up withdrawn. The same applies to children living in constant prohibitions.
There are people who are afraid of “falling on their face.” This is due to public censure; a person does not want to be rejected by colleagues, friends, relatives and even strangers.
Stereotypes influence the formation of life principles. If a child is constantly praised and has high expectations, he will try to do everything so as not to destroy the illusion. Such a person is afraid to express his thoughts in the future.

How to get rid of shyness

It should be remembered that isolation is not a vice. Young girls are much more attractive when they have a blush on their cheeks and a slightly trembling voice. However, if such a feature prevents you from fully existing, you need to get rid of it.

Method number 1. Chat with strangers

In most cases, people become shy well in advance of interacting with strangers. Such behavior is wrong, because you cannot baptize your children with these people.
Accept invitations from friends to attend all kinds of parties, concerts, and cinemas. Make it a habit to meet at least 2 new people a month.
At first, you can smooth things out by making friends through social networks. Start with VKontakte or Odnoklassniki, then make an appointment yourself when you're ready.
Go out into the world more often. Visit crowded cafes and restaurants, crowded places. Stand in line, pay utilities, communicate.
Engage in solving pressing issues on your own. This applies more to visiting authorities and other serious offices (passport office, housing and communal services, tax office, etc.).

Method number 2. Find new friends

Visit social groups or join forums where people share their doubts. Find someone who has the same problem. Discuss the topic with him: “How to overcome shyness.”
It is also recommended to find a person using the “nasty” method. It is important that a new acquaintance does not have complexes and shyness. Such a person will constantly pull you out of your comfort zone. This will promote emancipation.
Every person comes into your life for a reason. Choose your social circle so that it includes people from all social groups. Of course, you shouldn’t get involved in crime.
If possible, communicate only with successful people. Create an idol for yourself, follow his path. Don't be afraid of your own mistakes, they are required for experience.

Method No. 3. Do daring things

Analyze your life. Highlight actions that you could not decide on for a long time. Have you been planning to jump with a rope or parachute for a long time? Go for it!
Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, take a closer look at motorized vehicles. People on two-wheeled iron horses look bold and confident. Study for category “A”, buy a sports bike and equipment.
Actions that can overcome shyness include participation in television programs (in particular, extras), beauty contests and other public appearances. Expressing your thoughts to the public will liberate you, the main thing is to prepare thoroughly.
If you're a girl, wear an extravagant petite top or high heels. Reconsider your image, dye your hair a bright shade. Visit a fetish party, attend a charity event, or become a volunteer.
People who have long-term sympathy for the opposite sex should ask the person on a date. Take courage and dare, live for today.
In all of these actions, it is important to know when to stop. Don’t jump right off the bat, think about your own safety and morale. Don’t run into trouble, carefully plan and predict all your actions.

Method number 4. Gain confidence in yourself

In most cases, people become shy due to complexes that appear over the years or stem from childhood. To get rid of shyness, it is necessary to eliminate uncertainty in all possible ways.
If you don't feel comfortable because the weight class is over the top, go for it. Join the gym, get rid of cellulite, go on a diet. Buy clothes that hide imperfections.
Reconsider your image. Get a new haircut, change your hair color, go for a manicure and pedicure. Take a make-up course, find “your” cosmetics, and don’t go out without makeup.
Get rid of the "junk". This includes old clothes with pilling and elongated knees, shabby shoes and bags, old jackets. Replace every discarded item with a new, more stylish and unusual one.
Assess your capabilities regarding your current profession, develop in your career, and increase your earnings. Try to communicate with people who have already achieved heights. Find out their secrets of success and share your own experience.
Love motivates you to do more, find a gentleman or life partner. Dress up for the sake of your loved one, make each other happy. A stable personal life adds confidence.

Method No. 5. Describe yourself

Prepare a notebook and write down your positive aspects in it. Be sure to check not only about mental and physical abilities, but also external data.
For example, you can write that you are positive, brave, successful. It is advisable to clarify the ability to achieve goals and objectives, responsive character, kindness.
If you are experiencing difficulties regarding your characteristics, contact your relatives or friends. Draw up a psychological portrait together.
You need to indicate as many positive qualities as possible. Number them for clarity. Hang the list on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. Re-read every morning and believe in what you wrote.
It is important to remember forever that a person is made up of his own thoughts and beliefs. Think about yourself in a positive way, never doubt your own capabilities.

Method number 6. Develop materially and spiritually

In the near future, you need to communicate more with diverse people. This method will improve your communication skills and relieve you of shyness.
To become an interesting conversationalist, develop spiritually. Read books, attend seminars on personal growth. Study your social circle, remove those who drag you down.
Money plays a big role in the modern world. People who say otherwise are deeply mistaken. With the help of finances, you can provide yourself with a decent life, travel, and be confident in the future.
Isn't this what eradicates shyness?! Look for a more profitable profession or ways to earn additional income. Never stop. Make it a habit to raise your salary by at least 10% per month. At the same time, learn to postpone.
If you don't yet know what you want to become, it's time to correct the situation. Analyze what you are most drawn to. Perhaps to mathematics, art or other creativity? Do you like to work with your hands or your head? Mold yourself based on this.

Method No. 7. Play sports

Decent physical fitness improves self-esteem and morale. Many people visit gyms, so it is often impossible to do without contact with them. Don’t be shy, ask how to use certain exercise machines. Look for new acquaintances.
Agree with your friends that you will lose 5 kg. and pump up your buttocks, abs, and arms. Limit yourself to specific limits. Start running, jumping rope, squats.
You don’t have to spend exorbitant amounts of money on a subscription. Enjoy summer and winter sports without spending your hard earned money.
If you still decide to visit specific sections, consider Pilates, water aerobics, stretching, yoga, dancing of all types, kickboxing, cross-fit.
In clubs you will be taught to behave in a relaxed manner. The trainer will tell you how to get rid of shyness and will do everything to ensure that you achieve your goals. Particularly shy people should contact a professional instructor in a particular sport.

Method No. 8. Make your loved ones happy

Learn to give joy to your relatives and close friends. In return, they will show you gratitude and give you compliments. In this simple way, you will gain confidence and stop doubting yourself.
Stop conflicts, do not harbor anger and resentment. They will eat you from the inside. Communicate with people politely, give tenderness and love to those who deserve it.
For your own peace of mind, keep a calendar. Indicate in it significant dates, birthdays of your friends and relatives. It is important to understand that without social communication a person fades.

Identify the causes of shyness and eradicate them in a short time. Constantly work on yourself, don't stop there. Find passive income, climb the career ladder. Reconsider your wardrobe and your overall image. Play sports, look for new circles of acquaintances, travel. Take the initiative in communicating with friends, improve your personal life, make your loved ones happy.