At that time, spaceships were traveling. While spaceships roam the expanses...

/* Bus number 13. Fedya rides, thinking about lofty things. He's being distracted */

- Citizen, give way, stand up.
- If I get up, you will lie down with me.

— Citizen, these places are specially for children and disabled people.
- What is she, children or disabled people, huh?
— She is preparing to become a mother.
- And I’m getting ready to become a father!

/* Shurik rushes to defend justice. Disguised as a blind and disabled man wearing black glasses */

- Law is law.

- Oh, are you sighted?! Now you'll be blind!

/* Fedya was taken to the department. Three witnesses. And Shurik is the victim */

- So you work at a construction site?
— I’m working part-time.
- What do you mean I work part-time?
— I study at the Polytechnic.
- Student…

For fifteen days

/* Comrade policeman announces orders */

- Well, citizens are alcoholics, hooligans, parasites... Who wants to work today? A?!

- Outfits for today: Sand quarry- two people... Sand quarry - two people!
— Announce the entire list, please.

- Well, citizens are alcoholics, hooligans, parasites... Who wants to work today? Huh?! Announce the entire list, please.

— Sand quarry — two people. Street cleaning - three people. The Mask Factory /* all the volunteers are stepping forward */... didn’t send any outfits for today.

/* Fedya knows what he wants... But not today */

— There is an order for the construction of a residential building. Cement factory!
— Isn’t there a liquor store?

At a construction site

/* Getting to know the manual. Pavel Stepanovich burns with a verb */

— First of all, I want to introduce you to our wonderful team, which you are temporarily joining. How much does a friend join?
- Fully, fifteen.
- Yeah. One and a half decades. This is amazing. Well, all the best, goodbye.
— Don’t be late for lunch!

- Cork! A gift from Africa.

/* Pavel Stepanovich shows Fedya the construction site and draws perspectives */

- Using the power of your imagination, imagine what a wonderful residential area will be created here.

— And if we take the entire volume of work performed by our SMU floor by floor, we will get a building that will be twice as tall as the world famous Eiffel Tower.
- Or three times higher than the famous Notre Dame de Paris... which means Notre Dame Cathedral.
- Which mother?
- Parisian. God... mother.

/* Pavel Stepanovich continues to rock, but Fedya saw something more interesting */

— Our construction and installation department has built an amount of residential space that is equal to one city like Chita, ten cities like Khvalynsk, or thirty-two Kryzhopoly. It’s breathtaking to think that...

/* Shurik! Here's your partner. Finally, Pal Stepanych */

- Well, now let's get to work.
- Let's work together.

/* Fedya starts from afar. Shurik didn’t understand right away */

- Listen, have you ever had any accidents at a construction site?
- No, there haven’t been any yet...
- They will! Pshli...

/* Fedya’s first pancake is lumpy. It was not possible to wall up Shurik */

- What's there?
- Shh...

- Listen, where have you been, I’m running you all over the building. The work is worth it.
- The work is worth it, but the deadline is ticking. Don’t forget, your accounting is in rubles, mine is in days.

/* Pavel Stepanovich does not forget about the newcomer */

- Well, Shurik, how is your partner?
- He is being re-educated.
- Great. Why in a whisper?
- Asleep.
— Sleeping?

- At a time when our spaceships roaming the expanses of the Universe...

“And it’s not for nothing that all continents applaud the workers of our great ballet.”

— Teaches folk wisdom: patience and work will grind everything down - one, finished the job, go for a walk safely - two, you can’t pull a fish out of the pond without difficulty - three, work is not a wolf, into the forest... no, no, this is not necessary.

/* But Fedya is not ready to re-educate and answers frankly: */

- To the light bulb!

Dinner

- And the compote?!

/* Comrade policeman monitors hygiene. Fedya is ready to start */

- Hands!
- A?!
- Washed?
- Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes...

- Bon appetit!
- Yyyyyyyy!!!

/* While Shurik adds kefir, Fedya finishes the kebab and philosophizes */

“I say, whoever doesn’t work, eats!” Learn student!
The main Shurik of the country, the film “Operation Y”
- Understand, student, now we need to be gentler with people. And look at the questions more broadly. Do you think they gave me fifteen days? Mmm? They gave US fifteen days. And for what? So that you conduct explanatory work among me, and I grow above myself! Well, okay, come on, bay to me, like spaceships plow... /* yawns */ Grand Theatre. And I'll sleep.

- Right! And drive away the flies.

Shurik and Fedya take decisive action

/* Shurik is stuck. But not for long */

- Oh, you're in trouble, you bespectacled guy?! /* Kicks */ This is only an advance! Well, that's it now! Well, student, get ready! Soon you will be wearing a wooden mackintosh, and music will be playing in your house. But you won't hear it!

/* Decisive attack using available materials. An engineer! */

- Stop! I'll kill you, student!

/* Shurik’s cunning plan - wallpaper, glue, and a spanking tool */

- Will you hit me?
- No.
- And what?
— Conduct explanatory work.

/* Necessary cruelty... */

- Shurik! Shurik, are you a Komsomol member?
- A?
- This is not our method! Where is the humanism? Where is man to man? Understand, Shurik, at a time when spaceships, as you know, are roaming...
- What's your name?
- Fedya, and you are Shurik.
- Married?
- Yes. Wife Lyubushka and two children, Lenochka and Alyoshka.
- So there is a family. How old are you?
- Forty one.
- Oh...

- Maybe it’s not necessary, Shurik? I won't do it again, eh?
- No... It is necessary. You must Fedya, you must!
- Mother Mother Mother…

/* The next day */

- Well, the citizens are alcoholics, parasites, hooligans. Who wants to work?
- I!!!
- Just wait, citizen! You are wearing a personal outfit for all fifteen days. Take it!

" It's about how a space liner rushes through the darkness of the Universe into a new wonderful world. Future colonists-pioneers are sleeping on board, and two of their hibernation beds are broken. They are forced to while away their lives, slowly falling in love with each other from idleness, but then Armageddon begins.

Everything is exactly how we like it, so to get in the mood for space, we have collected 9 more films about a ship moving from point A to point B and its mission is incredibly beautiful.

They are also flying to populate another planet and everyone must sleep too, except for the crew on watch. One day two people on duty wake up to take over for their shift, they remember about themselves no more than you remember about yours. past life. At the same time, there is an obvious mess on the ship and you need to navigate the situation right now. The ship is large, and there are many unpleasant and dangerous creatures roaming around it.

Cargo, 2009 Atlantis Pictures

This picture from Switzerland is constantly compared to “Pandorum”, although the stories are different. Both premiered almost on the same day, in September 2009. A ship with cargo flies to a distant colony. In order not to waste time, energy and food, the entire crew, except one on duty who looks after the household, sleeps. Duty time - 8.5 months. By the end of this period main character Laura hears an unusual noise in the cargo hold and quickly wakes up the crew. The film has a small budget, but the visuals are beautiful and the story makes you think.

A megaton bomb with a tiny crew of potential kamikazes is flying towards the Sun. They must dump their terrible cargo on a dying star to save the Earth from freezing. From the very beginning, we see that the team’s mood is not particularly cheerful. main reason: living beings love very much sunlight, but preferably filtered by the atmosphere of the home planet. Excessive proximity to the luminary has a depressing effect on them. A very atmospheric film, you always feel the presence of something gigantic, pressing on the psyche.

Event Horizon, 1997

If you are calm about creative method Paul W. S. Anderson, director of " Resident Evil", then you might be interested in taking a look at this. Rescue team heads to the edge solar system, where the signal from the spaceship “Horizon” was received. It was designed to travel at superluminal speeds and disappeared during its first flight. It is clear that they will not find anything pleasant there.

Interstellar, 2014

There will be a little talk here before the flight, so that you have something to think about while the heroes roam the open spaces. And then the main thing begins - superbly written space history, which works on absolutely every level: dramatic, visual, musical, sci-fi. Scientific magazines recommended showing this film to children in physics classes. He explains clearly general theory relativity, and is also very accurate in visualizing wormholes and black holes.

Unlike previous films, this is not science fiction, but an artistic reconstruction of the story of the failed Apollo 13 mission to the moon. What is it like to spend so much time preparing, spend so much effort and money on a rocket, and when approaching the Earth’s satellite, realize that due to technical problems you will not be able to land there, and you will still have to fight to return home safe and sound.

Lost in Space, 1998

This story can be watched with children. Everything here is quite familiar: people have polluted and depleted the Earth and are now looking for new housing, so the ship is heading to a new planet suitable for consumption. At the arrival point, the passengers - the eminent scientist John Robinson and his family - must install a hypergate to evacuate humanity. But in heroic story Doctor Smith, played by Gary Oldman, intervenes, so the team is taken into an uncharted sector of the Galaxy. By the way, he plays the brave Captain West 2001: A Space Odyssey

2001: A Space Odyssey, 1968

A spaceship with two crew members, one computer and sleeping passengers flies towards Jupiter. The computer has a secret that it guards perhaps too jealously. This is just a classic, a classic, a masterpiece of science fiction, but it was filmed so leisurely that it is quite difficult for a modern viewer to stand it. Challenge yourself.

What exactly are they plowing? I suggest taking a break for a while from the lyrics about flying to other stars. Why not see what is flying overhead, literally some 200-400 km away. And now I’ll tell you how to do this (I’ll remind the specialists).

Just a little theory

COSMOS 2503
1 40420U 15009A 15063.01107640 -.00000062 00000-0 00000+0 0 9997
2 40420 97.6230 22.9307 0015305 258.2480 187.6750 15.05052215 702

All launches, even secret military ones, are required to register with the UN database at: www.unoosa.org/oosa
Those who speak English can read the registration rules. The most interesting thing is here: www.unoosa.org/oosa/showSearch.do you can find information on any piece of iron thrown into space, but there is not that much of it there.

Looking to the sky

So we wonder what is flying there. This will help us:
www.calsky.com here you can set your location and see when and where the ISS or Venus will float above you.
www.heavens-above.com is a similar, but almost Russified site.
If you are reading this at night, then it’s time to tear yourself away from the monitor and, imagining yourself as an ancient Greek, turn your gaze to the stars (you can use binoculars).
In principle, there is a lot of interesting things there and I can already leave. But why then did he talk about ballistics?
Suppose we are interested in the vital activity of a certain device that was launched a week ago.

We look for the link “Satellite Database” on www.heavens-above.com, select Year of launch 2015, we get the list:

Serial number Name Satellite status Designation Name in Spacetrack Orbit
40370 OBJECT A Burned up in the atmosphere 2015-001-A DRAGON CRS-5
40371 OBJECT B Burned up in the atmosphere 2015-001-B FALCON 9 R/B
40372 OBJECT C Burned up in the atmosphere 2015-001-C DRAGON CRS-5 DEB
40373 OBJECT D Burned up in the atmosphere 2015-001-D DRAGON CRS-5 DEB
40374 MUOS 3 In Earth orbit 2015-002-A MUOS 3 5592 x 35788 km; 16.7° Visible spans All spans Approaches to other objects
40375 ATLAS 5 CENTAUR R/B In Earth orbit 2015-002-B ATLAS 5 CENTAUR R/B 3742 x 35194 km; 18.9° Visible spans All spans Approaches to other objects

We are interested in this: 40420 OBJECT A In low-Earth orbit 2015-009-A COSMOS 2503
under the link more Launch Date (UTC) 02/27/2015
Where is our Barsik now?

Go to celestrak.com then Current Data then Last 30 Days" Launches total. We look for the three lines I indicated at the beginning of the post, save them to a txt file.
Next, on www.stoff.pl we download the Orbitron version 3.71 program (a little old, but it works even under eight). Install, open, click Download TLE, feed our file and observe the topic of the post (if you don’t see it, make sure there is a checkmark next to COSMOS 2503 at the top right).
Some objects, for example the ISS (ISS), are already loaded; several can be displayed at once.

For starters, the blog of an overseas colleague is planet4589.org. Interesting things come across, knowledge of the language is welcome.