How to start keeping a personal diary. Why do you need a personal diary?

Why keep a diary? Keeping a diary helps you understand yourself, your desires and feelings. When a huge amount of thoughts accumulate and are in disarray, it is better to “throw them out” on paper. In the process of keeping a diary, remembering and describing this or that situation, you begin to analyze your actions, think about whether you acted correctly under the given circumstances, and draw conclusions.

If these thoughts are related to work, then most women write them down briefly - in abstracts and record them in a diary.

Why do you need a personal diary?

For a woman who finds it difficult to keep all her experiences to herself, you just need to keep a personal diary , where you can describe absolutely everything: your thoughts about your colleagues, how you feel about your recently persistent boyfriend, what doesn’t suit you about your husband, thoughts about children and much more.

Yes, of course, you can tell all this to a close friend, but it’s not a fact that the information she receives will remain only between you. A personal diary will endure everything and won't tell anyone anything , unless, of course, it is inaccessible to others. Therefore, it is better to keep it electronically. , and, of course, set passwords.

Usually a personal diary is kept girls are still in puberty when the first relationship with the opposite sex arises. There they describe experiences about first love, as well as relationships with parents and peers. Personal diary you can trust your deepest thoughts and desires , because he will never make public the secrets of its author.

What is a diary for anyway? What does it give? At the moment of an emotional outburst, you transfer your emotions into a diary (paper or electronic). Then, over time, after reading the lines from the diary, you remember those emotions and feelings, and you see the situation from a completely different perspective .

The diary takes us back to the past, makes us think about the present and avoids mistakes in the future. .

For example, a pregnant woman keeps a diary and writes down her experiences, sensations and feelings, and then, when her daughter is pregnant, she will share her notes with her.

To see changes in your thoughts day by day, the diary needs a chronology . Therefore, it is better to put the day, month, year and time with each entry.

What are the benefits of keeping a personal diary?

• The benefits of keeping a diary are obvious. Describing events, remembering details, you develop your memory. By writing down daily events and then analyzing them, you develop the habit of remembering details of episodes that you previously did not pay any attention to;
• The ability to structure your thoughts appears. And also choose the right words for certain emotions and feelings that arise when reproducing the described situation;
• You can write down your wishes in a diary., goals, and also identify ways to achieve them;
• Reading the events described in the diary will help you understand yourself, in their internal conflicts. It's a kind of psychotherapy;
• By writing down your victories from any area of ​​life (business, personal) in your diary, you you can later draw energy, rereading the lines. You will remember what you are capable of and the thought will flash through your head: “Yes, I - wow! I can’t even do that.”
• In the future, it will revive emotions and memories of long-forgotten events. Imagine how in 10 - 20 years you will open your diary, and how pleasant it will be to plunge into the past and remember the pleasant moments of life.

Briefly answer the question: why keep a diary? - you can answer like this: to become better, wiser and make fewer mistakes in the future.

A journal is a window into your soul, so journaling can be a great way to let your feelings out, a place where your deepest thoughts can reside and where you don't have to fear judgement, guilt or having to justify yourself. Journaling will allow you to be who you are and are a place where you can journey through the emotions of life with gentleness, compassion and deep understanding.

Although a handwritten journal is a personal journey consisting entirely of your own thoughts, ideas and wanderings, it can be useful for gaining new suggestions as well as some ideas on where to start. If you haven't tried journaling yet, or you have one but don't look at it often, now is the time to let your consciousness flow through your writing, connecting you to your deepest thoughts and ideas. Also, you should be interested in keeping a journal! Make this one of your goals!

Steps

Keeping your own diary

Decide on the type of diary that is ideal for you. Decide how you want to store it, on paper or electronically. Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages, so you'll need to weigh what works best for you. For example, paper is always available, never needs electricity, and can be used for drawing, collages, theater tickets, and souvenirs. However, typing may be faster and easier electronically, and the electronic document can still be personalized in different ways. Both types of journals are fine if you can hide them well, but this is probably easier to do with an electronic file than with a paper book.

• While there is no need to keep a fancy journal, some people use a stationery journal for journaling. You don't have to buy expensive or costly versions, but if you really want it and it makes you happy, then you can try not to pay attention to the budget.
• The finishing possibilities for cheaper journals are endless and it should be fun to design on your own without necessarily relying on someone else's ideas for good design. Just keep in mind that this is not about taking advantage of the beauty of the book itself, but about enjoying the streams of thoughts and writing them down.
• Select a writing device when using paper. Choose a handle that you feel comfortable with and that meets your aesthetic needs.

1. Decide what type of journal you would like to have. There are different opportunities to develop your journaling theme or approach to journaling. You could simply use a journal to write down thoughts that come to you randomly at any given time, or you could make your journal more focused on a specific topic to draw out what you're trying to develop. And there's nothing you can't write in a journal! Some themed journal ideas include:

   • Gratitude journal. In this journal, you write down all the things you say you are grateful for every day, week, etc., and pay attention to the people, animals, events, and things that really matter to you.
   • Holiday diary. In this journal, record more than just what you see on your holiday, but also record your feelings, impressions and emotions as they challenge, change and illuminate your travels.
   • Diary of ideas. In this journal, you write down all the ideas and inspirations that flash into your mind at any time without warning, providing a place to return whenever you have time. Ideas can be for writing, for business, for games, for inventions, just for everything!
   • Diary of raising a child. In this journal, you write down everything you think is special, beautiful, sweet and memorable about your children at different ages and stages. This is a great way to keep a record of those funny words, phrases and comments your children make as they grow and see the world in new ways.
   • Diary of transitions. In this journal, you write down changes in your life that you are going to go through, such as finding a job or loss, how you are going to become a parent for the first time or again after many years, how you are starting a business, going on a special trip, etc. . This type of journal can document changing patterns in your life, and sometimes it is helpful to ask yourself questions such as “what do you like and dislike most?”, “What do I expect from the future that I am doing something for now?”, “ what people can help me in my transitions?" etc.

2. Find the perfect place (or places) to write in your journal. To write, you need to choose a time when you want to write and are alone and without any interruptions. It is important to feel calm, peaceful and not worry that someone will disturb you during the process. It is also important to feel comfortable. Try writing in different places, at least as an experiment, to see what happens to the content of your text.

   • Sit on a chair near a burning fire or lie down under a blooming apple tree.
   • Find a quiet part of the house where you are sure you won't be disturbed.
   • The suitability of the location may vary depending on the time of day. Keep this in mind when choosing your corner, for example, the kitchen can be a hubbub and bustle all day long, but after 10 pm, it can be the quietest and most pleasant place in the house.

3. Find a time that works for you. Some of the recommendations try to state that you should stick to daily writing or an interval of regularity. This will not solve the problem of keeping a journal that is an extension of you and your feelings. And if you don't feel like writing in your journal even though you've made some commitment to yourself to write in it, it's probably going to turn into something that's going to annoy you. Rather than making a commitment to write regularly, you must make a commitment to yourself that when you feel the urge to use your journal to be creative, express feelings, write down ideas, etc., then you will write. And if it's daily, then fine, if you miss a month or two or even a year, then so be it. Many diarists write, spanning years, and pick up the journal again when the need arises, regardless of the last time they wrote in it, when they need a journal.

   • Keeping your journal next to your bed can be helpful if you find that you simply forget to write in it. Often, smart thoughts come before bed, and writing in a journal can be a useful way to take stock of the day, as long as it's a place that's comfortable for you.
   • Remember that when you feel unimportant, restless, overwhelmed with ideas, etc., your journal is the perfect outlet.

4. Relax. Each person is different in what helps them relax and feel satisfied, different things and it is no different from the mood in which you write. Some people like to listen to music to get in the right mood, others need silence, while there are others who need the constant buzz of city life to stimulate their thinking. Choose something that will help you and not force you to put in too much effort.

   • Don't worry about grammar, spelling or perfectionism in your journal. This is your place, and if there are mistakes, then so be it. Wanting to correct mistakes as you work can interfere with your flow of thought, especially if you are writing about deep emotional issues or have a source of ideas, and can also lead to you trying too hard to manage the situation you are writing about rather than learning more about it. her and find new ways to feel her.

5. Find a source of inspiration. This is easiest to do with current feelings. Write them down on paper and see what sticks out to you. There are no rules at all about journal entries, and you may find that your starting points vary each time you start a new entry. Sometimes it's easier to start with a story about something that happened to you during the day, something that comes right through you that you want answers to but are confused about. Writing down ordinary facts and events can open up a whole stream of consciousness, leading you to insights that you would not be able to clearly show without writing your thoughts in a journal. Other writing spurs may include:

   • Try movies, books or TV shows as a starting point. Sometimes, for example, you might consider the philosophy of your favorite films or write an essay about why you find a particular character compelling or not.
   • Imagine that you have an audience and you are a professor. Give a lecture about what you want them to hear. Sometimes writing down events in your life that have happened, or writing down questions and answering them, can get the creative juices flowing in your mind.
   • Discuss what you have purchased or done over the past few days. This is what you are going to use for a new hobby, to help you complete an essay, to attract a person, to decorate a house, etc. Start with the reason for the purchase or, while doing so, continue to write about the motives behind them.

6. Use a journal to work through difficult things. Diaries come at the top of the list, expressing your problems. Many people choose a narrow specialization of the diary, assigning to it the key role of recovery from emotional turmoil. The diary absorbs your anger, your anger, your revenge, your jealousy, your whole abundance of negative emotions and does not judge you, does not shout at you, does not curse you and does not teach you about life. He passively keeps everything inside himself, but exposes it in another. Getting negative emotions off your chest can free you from having to express feelings elsewhere and can give you the breathing space you need to try to see that facts are simpler than emotions or to step into other people's shoes to see how right they are.

   • Feel free to curse, insult people and free yourself from all this. It's better to do it here than anywhere else, and it's a way to release frustration, anger, and attitudes that need to be released somewhere safe.
   • Keep writing until you feel empty. This will give you the best chance of freeing yourself from the feelings that are plaguing you and preventing you from moving on to more positive ones.
   • Write about the guy you think you'll never get, write about the girl next door who keeps telling you secrets, write about your parents or your in-laws or your family in general, write about your aspirations, your ambitions, your skills, your favorites; the list can be continued endlessly.

7. Fill your journal with things you like. Of course, scribbles are perfectly acceptable. Write song lyrics, poems, book excerpts, or newspaper clippings. It can be a lot of fun sometimes, tagging little tidbits of your life, like torn tickets to a movie or play you saw on Friday night or a picture of a breathtaking sunset. The diary is a real life manifestation of your mind, so it is something completely yours!

   Reflect on what you have written from time to time. Not everything is written down and not everything is read; Comparing where you are now with where you were weeks, months and years ago is a useful exercise in your spiritual growth. Think about how things become clearer to you from one journal entry to the next, and the thoughts of what you once hoped and dreamed about have long since become reality. Think about the things that are still happening, and if signs or patterns can be discerned, then one way or another there are blockages to your intended progress. Use your journal to evaluate the journey of your life.

8. Keep your diary safe. No one will see it, but you must make sure of it. Just feel free to truly express yourself as long as the journal doesn't threaten your relationships with other people, or when you look at it, make sure to find a safe place for the journal.

   • Find the perfect hidden place for your journal. Change them regularly if you have concerns about prying eyes. Be smart and take care of the cover. It might be worth wrapping your journal in the cover of a chemistry or accounting textbook to repel nosy siblings or spouses.
   • Find out how to block access to electronic documents. If you keep a diary electronically, let it be password protected for your computer and documents. Be careful in your calculations just in case, as sometimes mistakes happen.
   • Write a simple initial letter for any prying eyes, just in case. Write something like "Before you decide to read my deepest thoughts, think about how you would feel if someone did the same thoughtless and unacceptable thing to you. God sees everything."
   • Check out more ideas on how to hide your journal.
   • Handwriting can be more therapeutic than typing as it can allow for deeper emotional insight. Try both methods, you can print the pages on your computer and put them in a box or bind them, or you can scan handwritten pages to add to your computer journal. In any case, consider keeping paper copies that will be preserved for future generations if you want your descendants to know and appreciate you after you are gone from this life.
   • Having your diary always with you can be a very good idea because at any moment you may want to write something. Even just a random thought like, “Why do people always look at toilet paper after they sneeze?”, stemming from what's going on around you, can show that you're actually thinking throughout the day, not just thinking about it at the end of the day. If it seems risky to carry a laptop with you and write down your thoughts, reschedule the writing for a later time.
   • If you ever get stuck and don't know what to write about, just think of a topic or come up with a simple story. For example: “Doctor, this is...”, a trip to the moon, clinical death, travel time before the age of dinosaurs, a magic refrigerator, etc. Be creative and you can come up with a lot of things to write about!
   • Consider purchasing a notebook with unlined pages to free up space for scribbling and avoid style restrictions. However, if you want to write first and then align the pages later, this may be more convenient.
   • Be very careful about all the flaws and shortcomings of a journal as a blogger. There are non-public settings on some blogs, but you must be vigilant to keep them private. If you have a public blog, be very careful what you say about other people or make it easy for them to guess who you are talking about. The consequences can be endless, but not positive, especially if you say unflattering things about people. Also, long conversations about your inner pain or your ideas will be discussed by many people if you make the information public on a blog; Do you really want everyone to know about this?
   • If you're having trouble getting started, you could post status updates on Facebook or another social media site and write them in a journal. Use it as a springboard: What other memories, associations or ideas do you have? Follow them for as long as you want.
   • You can use tape recordings to listen to them later and write them down on paper. You can burn whatever you think of to disk for future use.
   • Try writing daily. After a while, it will become a habit and you will feel strange when you don't write.
   • If you love writing stories, then why not write in your journal?
   • Collaborative efforts may be the only way to explore new ideas.

   Laptops for girls are a good example in this regard. Try writing a shared journal with a couple of your best friends who you tell all your secrets to! Remember that journaling together can have negative consequences for you when one person suddenly decides to spill the beans.

   Warnings

   • Don't write in your diary if you don't want to. This is a method of escape, not surrender. Some people ignore it for months before writing again, and that's fine.
   • Be careful when keeping a diary on your computer because someone could hack your computer and read your diary. If you can password protect it (there are ways to do this using most text programs), do so to prevent others from easily getting to it.
   • Be careful where you keep your paper journal. Encryption does not mean that anyone cannot read it. Blocking a diary is not a reason to assume that it is safe. Also keep in mind that cheap locks mounted on the book itself can be removed or broken very easily, so they are largely useless.

Classic notebook entries have never completely lost their relevance; they are still popular among schoolgirls and adults of different genders and status. At the same time, many people are not going to start writing down their thoughts, no matter in a notebook or in an electronic document, although the benefits of this process are tangible.

It’s not for nothing that this process is called a personal diary. This is something deeply personal - emotions, dreams, plans. Often, notes in a notebook witness the stormy tears of schoolgirls in love and the first business combinations of young entrepreneurs. From this follows the first reason for keeping a personal diary - it helps to throw out emotions and structure thoughts.

Interesting! Psychologists advise emotional people to keep notes so that they can subsequently evaluate themselves from the outside and learn to manage their feelings.

Another reason is the possibility preserve memories of the situation with the emotions that the writer experienced then. A few years later, many people enjoy reading their entries, remembering funny and sad moments from life, plans and dreams.

The third reason for keeping a personal diary is the opportunity to express all the secret feelings, indecent thoughts and pent-up anger. Sometimes it is impossible to shout at an unfair boss, take revenge on an offender, or have an affair with someone. Writing in a notebook or electronic document allows you to do whatever you want on its pages with your boss, your offender, and other people. Thus, it relieves tension, while at the same time allowing you to assess the situation from the outside.

How to start journaling

Some teenagers and adults do not have the question of how to start keeping a personal diary. This happens spontaneously during a period of falling in love or life troubles. Sometimes mothers or schoolchildren themselves try to start keeping personal notes about their children at the request of doctors and teachers.

Another group of people are girls of primary and secondary classes. For them, it is a hobby or a mass phenomenon when distributed at school. There are also people who understand the need to keep a diary or who experience loneliness. All this divides the persons keeping records into two groups:

1. Spontaneous.
2. Conscious.

People in the first category are not interested in rules and fictitious conventions for keeping personal records. They simply write where they want and the way they need. The result is the most sincere and emotional diaries, but difficult for subsequent reading by the owners themselves.

The second group is interested in how to keep a diary according to the rules, what requirements should be placed on it and what it should contain. It is unlikely that anyone will be able to give such exact recommendations; they are too individual, although you can roughly learn how to keep personal notes.

How to keep records correctly

Filling out the paper version with your thoughts or the electronic version is an individual choice. The same can be said about the rules for filling out a diary. It is important to understand one thing - it should be convenient.

Some people are more suited to quickly writing down their thoughts in transport, others need silence and a lot of colored pens, markers and all kinds of stickers, photographs, newspaper clippings. You just need to understand that there are no specific rules for keeping records. A personal diary is the untouchable space of each individual person; he can do whatever he wants in it and as he pleases.

What will be inside the diary depends greatly on who will keep it. The personal notes of a student programmer will be filled with tags and ideas, a housewife can complain there about low-quality household chemicals or rudeness in a store, and a businessman will write down plans for modernization or thoughts on restructuring loans.

The frequency and volume of filling will also be individual. for different people, although it is worth highlighting schoolgirls separately. For them, a personal diary is something special, colorful and tender, and sometimes dark and incredibly rude. At the same time, all people need to know only a few identical principles by which a diary is kept.

Main requirements for a personal diary

To keep a diary, you don’t need to try to make it like others, although no one forbids using other people’s ideas for designing personal notes. By observing just a few requirements, anyone who wants to learn how to keep a personal diary:

Appearance, electronic or paper format, pen color, writing density and other criteria do not need rules. For each person it will be correct to write in the way that is convenient for him, sharing his innermost thoughts.

Carefully! It is worth separating your personal diary from work, school, medical, sports and other things. They can be combined into one, but then the teacher, doctor or coach will want to familiarize themselves with it. This will prevent the author from writing his innermost thoughts there sincerely, without looking back.

If a girl keeps a collection of newspaper clippings, photographs and facts about the biography of an actor or singer, this does not stop her from giving the notes to her friends to read. At the same time, if thoughts about feelings towards a star are written there, then the girl is unlikely to want anyone to read them.

Starting and keeping a diary

It was said above that records of ongoing events begin to be kept in 2 ways. Spontaneous keeping of personal notes does not require comments, there is already a diary and it is being filled out, such people do not need to be taught how to start keeping it.

A conscious desire to keep records makes it possible to initially foresee the nuances of the future diary by choosing the format, style and method of filling it out.

You should start recording with the following steps:

These are the main points of starting a diary, with the exception of 2 nuances. These are not requirements, but rather recommendations for convenience. One of them concerns paper records, the other electronic ones. In the first case, when purchasing, it is advisable to purchase hardcover notebook or notebook, this will allow the diary to maintain its good appearance longer and not wrinkle. When choosing an electronic option, you need to determine in advance where and when entries will be made, and based on this, you need to select a format - an online program or an inconspicuous document on a desktop computer.

For those who do not know how to spontaneously share their thoughts You can try this recording algorithm:

This structure is suitable for the diary of a junior schoolgirl, and for the notes of the head of a department of a large enterprise. The only difference is that events and objects will be different, as well as conclusions, descriptions of emotions, etc. Also, do not forget that this structure is optional - items in it can be changed, rearranged, removed or added. Understanding more convenient entries will come with time, and for this you just need to keep a diary.

Important! The main rule of keeping a diary-it needs to be filled out! How to start it, what to write or draw in it does not matter.

Keeping a diary correctly means only making entries in a convenient format and with a comfortable frequency. You can think in advance about the number of entries per day, week, month, or simply carry it with you and share your thoughts with the diary at the first desire.

A few entries a day, as desired, is an ideal way to keep a journal. This allows you to reset excessive emotions and immediately write down the necessary thoughts or good ideas. Not everyone can afford to keep notes in this mode; some understand the need for a diary, but are not able to devote so much time to it.

For organized people, the method of filling out a diary in the evening is suitable, and the volume of the entry does not matter. You can divide the entries into morning, afternoon and evening, telling in detail the events of the day, or put everything in one text. You can also highlight what is happening at work or school, separately describing love or life experiences. There is only one rule for keeping a diary, everything else is very individual. Over time, everyone chooses a way to fill it out in a form that is more convenient for them; all that remains is to start maintaining it.

Keeping a diary can significantly improve your well-being: sleep and blood pressure normalize, the immune system begins to function better, even wounds heal faster.

Surprisingly, improving your well-being by keeping a diary is not just psychosomatic. This activity truly improves the health of those who engage in it. According to Dr. James Pennebaker, a psychologist and leading expert on expressive writing, journaling helps strengthen immune cells called T cells. Thanks to this, mood improves and social activity increases. It also has a beneficial effect on the quality of close relationships.

So what is journaling?

This is the combination of personal reporting based on facts with the exploration of one's inner experiences, sometimes irrational, but always important.

The point of keeping a diary is not only to organize your thoughts - after all, you can simply think about them carefully, and this will also bring certain benefits. When keeping a diary, it is the act of writing down thoughts that brings the greatest results.

When you take notes, the left, rational hemisphere of your brain is working. While it is busy, the right hemisphere can do what it does best: create, anticipate and feel. Keeping a diary removes all psychological blocks and allows you to use all the capabilities of our brain to better understand ourselves and the world around us.

Already intrigued? Then the following 8 tips will help you master it in no time.

1. Use pen and paper

The modern world is all about keyboards and touch screens. But when it comes to journaling, regular pen and paper have more advantages.

Writing stimulates the reticular activating system, the area of ​​the brain that filters and brings to the forefront the information we focus on.

Writing by hand has additional benefits. This keeps us from editing our own thoughts. Although many people in their 20s and 30s have lost the muscle memory of handwriting and may find it slow and awkward, it won't be long before you feel comfortable writing by hand again.

2. If you don't like writing by hand, find a suitable tool.

Perhaps, after trying to write by hand, you will realize that this option is not suitable for you. There's nothing wrong with that.

Luckily, there are a huge variety of options available today. Turn to technological analogues. Both standard editors (Word from Microsoft or Pages from Apple) and more minimalistic solutions like Ommwriter are suitable. Perhaps you prefer touch screens. In general, look for the most convenient solution for yourself.

3. Set a limit

Previously, people set themselves a limit on the amount of writing, for example, 3 pages every day. But experts agree that a more effective solution when keeping a diary is to set a time limit.

Rationally consider how much time per day you can allocate to this activity in your busy schedule. Even if it's only 5 minutes at first.

Time limits help people focus on a specific goal when they start journaling. Seeing 3 blank pages in front of you can be difficult, and the matter will end before it even begins. And the time limit will not seem like an ordeal.

4. You don't have to be Shakespeare

Most aspiring writers (whether they are writing a diary entry, an article for a popular magazine, or a long novel) are usually mistaken in believing that everything they write must be deep and sensual. And when you start keeping a diary with such a delusion, you can be sure that it will lead to failure.

Such activities are directed outward, at others, but you should keep a diary for yourself. True depth appears naturally, spontaneously, even by accident. Pretentiousness occurs when people deliberately try to appear smarter.

Shakespeare was a great writer because of his natural talent and careful study of human nature. But what's good for him doesn't have to be good for you. You don't have to show off your literary talent. You just need to write.

Keeping a diary will help bring to the fore information that is stored just deeper than consciousness. Let it pour out.

5. Don't edit

One of the purposes of journaling is to explore areas of your mind that you may not want to explore. Diary entries are not articles. No one will check your spelling, grammar, punctuation or content structure. When you edit, you become thoughtful and focus on your writing rather than your thoughts.

The essence of journaling is to write without thinking. By thinking, we interfere with our intuition, and therefore the whole meaning of the diary is lost. Journaling can help us explore ways we may not consciously discover. We can find extremely interesting topics if we stop thinking for a while.

6. Journal in the same place every day.

You don't have to lock yourself in a secluded ivory tower to write down your thoughts. However, having a specific place where you write your personal journal will encourage you to take better introspective notes.

Let it be an attractive place, where it is cozy, where there are things that inspire you, where you can see, touch or smell them: flowers, sentimental photographs, memorabilia or pleasant drinks - your choice.

7. Leave room for content.

Before you start your journal, skip the first two or three pages.

As you re-read, highlight notes or thoughts that you consider important, mark the page numbers or the date of writing, and then put them at the very beginning of the diary. This is how the content gradually develops, thanks to which you can easily find important records. This helps a lot when you encounter difficulties. You can look at how you have faced problems in the past that seemed insurmountable, but which you were eventually able to overcome.

8. Keep your diary away from prying eyes

Find a safe and secure place for your journal. For this activity to be truly effective, you must feel as free as possible and write down things that you cannot tell even your best friend.

A personal diary is not a letter to another person. This is not a document by which others should judge you. Want to write a book? Fine. Write a book. The diary is just for you alone. If what you write may hurt the feelings of others or harm your reputation, destroy the diary or hide it in a safe place.

Remember that you are writing only for yourself.

It’s amazing that such a simple thing as a personal diary can simultaneously be a creative laboratory, a caring psychotherapist, a source of memories, a tool for self-development, and most importantly, a reliable shelter behind which you can be absolutely honest with others and with yourself. Even more surprising is that all these qualities are often not realized even by those who once tried to keep regular notes in their notebooks, notepads and diaries.

Keeping a diary is not fruitless soul-searching. This is not an activity intended exclusively for young girls and teenagers who need to sort out their feelings and sentimental experiences. And this is not just a prosecutorial, businesslike recording of the events that happened to you over the past day.

It is also wrong to think that journaling is only for prominent people who “have something to say.” It is true that among famous writers, scientists or artists it is difficult to find anyone who does not keep notes intended only for themselves. But even if you do not claim to be a genius, this is not at all a reason to abandon this useful practice. In addition, there is always the possibility that you are still a genius, and many years after your death, your heirs will receive substantial fees for the publication of your diary.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Nausea

For the most banal incident to turn into an adventure, it is necessary and sufficient to tell it.<...>Every person is always a storyteller, he lives surrounded by stories, his own and others, and sees everything that happens to him through their prism. So he tries to fit his life into the story about her.

Diaries are written to be written, read and re-read. Here are some answers to the reasonable question “what is this for?”:

• to pour out on paper and realize those feelings that cannot be trusted to others;
• to figure out what you want from life;
• to understand how well your plans correspond to reality and whether you are moving towards their implementation correctly;
• to better understand other people and learn to take their point of view into account;
• to practice expressing your thoughts and learn to reason;
• to recognize and change harmful thinking habits and behavioral patterns;
• to develop intuitive thinking and creativity.

What to write about

Who am I?

A piece of paper that “will endure anything” is almost the only place in this world where you can be yourself. This may be said too categorically: in the end, each personality is multifaceted and needs different contexts for its realization. But the honesty and openness achievable in a diary are very rarely available to us in other areas of life.

In your diary you can reflect on your past and make plans for the future. This is a well-known exercise: try to imagine what kind of life you would like to lead in 5/10/15 years? Then relate what you are doing now to your long-term intentions. If the pictures don't add up, maybe it's time to change something. In this practice, it is the recording procedure that is useful.

If you think about the future, the gaps between dreams and reality smooth out. In the recording they appear clearly.

If you don't know what you want to do in this world, journaling can help you get closer to understanding your strengths and deeper intentions. Record in your diary what brings you joy and causes genuine interest. A person immersed in business may suddenly realize that under the business mask there has always been the soul of a poet. The diary will provide him with the opportunity to develop this particular side of his personality, without forgetting about the others.

If you have been keeping a diary for several years, rereading it will reveal your personality in dynamics. How have your priorities and values ​​changed? What was important to you then and what remains now? This is how keeping a diary helps you see your life as a holistic, albeit incomplete, picture. The diary brings unity and length to a series of broken moments, in it “each moment carries the burden of everything that preceded and the germ of everything that follows” (Lydia Ginzburg).

Lev Tolstoy

Resurrection

I didn’t write a diary for two years and thought that I would never return to this childhood. And this was not childishness, but a conversation with oneself, with that true, divine self that lives in every person. All the time this I was sleeping, and I had no one to talk to.

With the “true self”, perhaps Lev Nikolaevich went a little too far. The diary does not remove all social masks, because this is impossible. But it helps you understand which one fits you better. Perhaps this understanding will lead to a change of masks, a change of personality. As Susan Sontag wrote in her diary, “By disguising my behavior, I am not protecting my personality - I am overcoming it”. The surest way to change something is to understand how it works. The diary does not just record what is happening around; it changes its owner. Usually for the better.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and see only the negative in everything, journaling can help you overcome these bad thinking habits and look at the world more realistically. This is exactly how a diary is used, for example, in cognitive behavioral psychotherapy. This is not only useful, but also absolutely free (unlike visits to an analyst and antidepressants).

There has been recent scientific evidence of the benefits of journaling. Psychologists from Duke University (USA) discovered that writing down exciting events and one’s own experiences not only improves memory and well-being, but also reduces the frequency of visits to doctors.

Timothy Wilson, one of the authors of the study, writes about it this way: “Writing interventions like this can really help people start thinking positively and believing in themselves”; “Writing makes people understand everything that bothers them and find new meaning in it.”

People prone to self-flagellation usually ignore praise, but react extremely sharply to any critical remarks. If you keep track of times when you were praised, either explicitly or implicitly, you may be surprised to learn that others don't treat you as badly as you thought. When you are depressed after another failure, re-read the notes about joyful events and situations when you showed your best side.

After this, it will become much easier to believe that the world is not so bad and hopeless, and all difficulties are surmountable.

As one of the Buddhist thinkers said, the “I” given in reflection is not the true “I”, it is constructed by the mind. But it is a mistake to think that this “I” can be found somewhere else. To believe that a real person does not reflect, but commits actions, is at least naive and unfair: you need to do both.

How do I treat other people?

The constant heroes of the diary are not only ourselves, but also our loved ones. Some people keep a diary solely to vent their resentment, anger, feelings of loneliness, abandonment and misunderstanding that haunt them in their relationships with others. And here you can figure out how this relationship works: why do you repeat the same mistakes? What do you expect from your loved ones and how justified are these expectations?

You can take notes in the format of an “unsent letter”, expressing fully what you cannot say in real communication. You can try to take the position of another person and write a monologue on his behalf: how does he see the current situation? maybe you are missing something and from his point of view everything looks completely different? Such exercises help develop empathy and the ability to see the world as a multidimensional space of choice and assessment, in which everyone is right in their own way.

A diary will not replace live communication and real relationships. As Theodor Adorno wrote, “we do not become free people because we ourselves, as the terrible saying goes, we will implement each alone, but due to the fact that we go beyond our own limits, we enter into relationships with other people and, in a sense, abandon ourselves in them.” For self-development, it is not enough to create a safe platform for yourself where you can “water and grow yourself like flowers” ​​- this requires other people and real actions. But a journal will help you understand what you want from them, what is really important to you.

If you can give yourself an honest answer to these questions, then building relationships with other people will become much easier.

An example of using a diary to solve personal dilemmas can be found in the biography of Charles Darwin. When it comes to marriage, he, with the meticulousness of a naturalist, writes out the disadvantages (“an endless variety of troubles and expenses ... disputes due to lack of society - morning visits - a daily waste of time”) and the advantages of this enterprise (“it is impossible to lead a life alone, without participation, without children... Don't be discouraged, trust in chance - look around closely - there are many happy slaves"). And in the end he makes a decision: he definitely needs to get married.

Diary as an intellectual and creative laboratory

A diary can become a place where vague thoughts and experiences are melted into precise formulations and artistic images. You don't have to be a professional writer or artist to think and imagine. Creative abilities are not class privileges. They are accessible to anyone, but not everyone uses the entrance. A personal diary is exactly the place where you can think and fantasize as much as you like and not be afraid that someone will judge you for your naivety and graphomania.

Write down in your journal thoughts and ideas from books you read that resonated with you. Make reference lists. Create verbal portraits of people and thinkers close to you. Make sketches. Make up. Paste in photographs and magazine clippings. Make collages. Write down your dreams (the list goes on and on).

Pablo Picasso

Spanish artist, sculptor and designer, founder of Cubism

Painting is just another way of journaling.

The diary assumes complete freedom of expression: here you can do whatever you want. But over time, you will realize that certain forms of expression come easier to you than others.

The personal diary as a form of writing appears to have first appeared in Japan. The diaries of Japanese court ladies and poets, recorded in the 10th-11th centuries, have reached us, where prose easily flows into poetry. Some fragments from these diaries may also touch the modern reader:

“If only my thoughts were the same as others... I could find more joy, I would feel less old and I would observe this transitory life with peace.<...>When dawn broke, I looked outside and saw ducks swimming serenely in the lake.

Ducks in the lake -
Can I look at them?
Indifferent?
Crossing the stormy waters
Sad world and me.

The birds looked so serene, but they, too, must often suffer, I thought” (Murasaki-shikibu. Diary. XXIII. 13th day of the 10th moon).

As writer Tristina Rainer points out in her book The New Diary, the diary form corresponds to all four basic mechanisms of human perception, which include emotion, sensation, intuition and intellect. Try to develop each of these qualities, avoid monotony. And then, quite possibly, the diary will become fertile ground for you to develop ideas that will go beyond its boundaries and find embodiment in real creative projects.

Five rules for keeping a diary

1. Write honestly.

As honest as possible. Even in entries that no one except you will see, you will be embarrassed or ashamed to write about some things. It’s worth taking a closer look at where this awkwardness arises, where you yourself are hiding the truth from yourself. No one deceives a person as often and successfully as he himself. But it is much easier to recognize the sources and causes of self-deception in a diary than in mental reasoning.

2. Contain your inner censor and critic.

We not only hide the truth from ourselves, but also strive to present our sincere experiences in an unattractive way. This role is played by the internal censor - the embodiment of the Freudian “super-ego”, that is, internalized social attitudes and ideas about “how it should be.” He is accompanied by an inner critic, for whom subtle artistic taste and depth of reasoning are more important than sincerity. To get rid of these annoying creatures, try writing in stream-of-consciousness mode. Write down everything that comes to your mind: images, experiences, vague sensations and memories.

Reflection is useful, but it is far from the only way to understand what is happening to you and your life.

3. Write for yourself.

We are accustomed to the fact that any message is intended for some addressee. But a personal diary should not be aimed at the public (this, by the way, is one of the many differences between a diary and a blog). If you write for an audience, no matter how narrow, your inner censor and critic will mercilessly edit your message. Better try to write for yourself. Perhaps a good recipient would be your future self reading the diary in a few years.

4. Pay attention to detail.

So that you can then recall past events in your memory, try to record the details and shades of what is happening. If you simply write “it was bad,” it will tell you much less than “I’m lying here on the sofa, thrown out of the world with one kick, lying in wait for a dream that doesn’t want to come, and if it comes, it will only touch me, my joints hurt from fatigue, my thin body is exhausted by a trembling of excitement, the meaning of which it does not dare to clearly understand, pounding in my temples” (quote from the diary of Franz Kafka).

5. Use paper and ink.

This is a recommendation here not because of inertia and retrogradeness. When you take notes by hand, your handwriting can say as much about your feelings as the words themselves. In addition, you can carry a paper notebook with you everywhere, unlike a laptop (and taking notes on a smartphone is not very convenient). Sometimes just feeling the rough surface of the paper notebook in which you write in your hands is enough to feel a sense of confidence and security. By the way, it is better to use notebooks with blank sheets rather than lined diaries. The main thing is to choose writing accessories so that keeping a diary gives you pleasure.

Some people believe that journal entries should be written daily. It seems to me that this is not at all necessary.

It is better to write when there is a desire or need to understand something, so that keeping a diary does not turn into another boring “must”. But at first, before a habit has formed, you will have to force yourself to open a notebook and write at least something. But if the first words are found, the rest will be found.

Do not forget that each diary is a reflection of the personality of its owner (even if incomplete and distorted). Therefore, these recommendations are somewhat general in nature. But even they should not be taken too literally. What works for the conventional Leo Tolstoy may be completely useless for you. The individual style of keeping a diary develops over the years and changes over time. But to understand how a diary can benefit you, you first need to start one.