Psychology of crying. Causes of tearfulness in women: a review of the most common ones

At different times, people feel an irresistible urge to cry, this happens for various reasons: from joy and sadness, pain and happiness, anger, resentment, frustration. So why do you want to cry? – the answer to this question remains open for a long time. Different people have different versions, from scientific to religious and fantastic. After all, only a person is given the opportunity to open the door to his inner world in this way.

Provocateurs of tears

Tears in people can be caused by:

1. Reflex irritation of the eye mucosa. The first thing people think of is the effects of onion volatiles, although not only plants can cause tears. Reflexes are inherent in both humans and many animals, since they are exclusively protective biological in nature. This is the only way the body copes with unfavorable environmental conditions.

2. Strong emotions. The second reason is inherent only to humans, and everyone has their own explanations for it. Tears due to strong feelings and stress are considered defense mechanisms. In this way, the body splashes out an excess of emotions, normalizes blood pressure, removes harmful substances and relieves tension. Emotions do not necessarily have to be negative; the appearance of “tears of happiness” is quite possible.

3. Painful sensations. The tear ducts are put into operation by the nervous system, which is very naughty at the time of receiving a blow, injury, injection or other irritant. The pain reverberates throughout the body, which is why it is so difficult to hold back tears.

In any case, there is always a reason. Most often, it will be clear and logical, easily explainable both to yourself and to others.

Everything is clear with adults and their problems. What happens to children who seem to be unburdened by adult problems and concerns? Why does a child cry before going to bed? In addition to pain, children's tears cause:

health problems;
lack of mother's proximity;
period of tooth growth;
sleep disturbance.

There are versions that the reasons for crying are at the genetic level. By making himself known by crying loudly, the child signals to his parents that he is strong and strong. The baby also cries, having lost sight of his mother, in order to attract her attention to himself.

From a medical point of view, tears during crying wash the nasopharynx well. This prevents infection from entering the respiratory tract, since harmful substances are removed along with salty moisture.

In any case, first of all, you need to make sure that the baby is healthy and the cause of crying is not illness.

The best reason is “tears of happiness.” So why do people cry with happiness? Opinions differ greatly on this matter:

Some believe that tears are caused by a storm of positive emotions that take over a person during a joyful event.

Others think that tears are the result of some kind of relief. After all, the negative circumstances that surrounded a person for a certain time recede. Liberation takes its place.

Still others talk about biology. After all, it is she who explains the tears as a malfunction in the central nervous system, which was unable to properly react to a joyful event in life.

Virus of melancholy

It is much worse when a person cannot explain his own tears, and sometimes uncontrollable sobs, even to himself. Sometimes it is difficult to find the source of such a strong impulse. Such tears are often frightening.

Here the reason may lie in the distant, hidden corners of a person’s inner world. Religion calls such tears the cry of the soul, its cleansing from worldly dirt and sin. Psychologists look for causes in past events, as well as in the mental and emotional conditions of a person’s life.

Although it is most logical to remember depression, which arises due to various circumstances:

a) various types of health problems that are almost impossible to solve on your own;

b) problems at work, where so much time is spent in nervous tension;

c) grief in personal life, which is so important for every person;

d) seasonal depression, in which spring blossoms upset and autumn dampness after hot summer days makes you sad.

Psychologists call such cases the “Tosca Virus.” Many medical experts are inclined to believe that events in your life directly depend on our mood. Therefore, it is enough to replace sadness with joy, and gradually everything around becomes not so bad.

How to prevent uninvited crying?

Despite the fact that tears are useful, many people try to hold them back, not giving free rein to their emotions. Each person has their own way of preventing tears. So what should you do if you want to cry? The most common methods:

take control of emotions;
drink water;
take a deep breath;
take a walk;
eat something tasty;
remember happy and bright moments from the past;
pay attention to the joy of others (after all, sometimes the smile of a passing baby can convey a piece of good mood to others);
enjoy the good weather, the only remaining open flower in the autumn flower bed and the frosty patterns on the winter windows.

Much can be assumed about the provocateurs of crying. One thing remains the same: crying is a social tool. This is a way of communication, regardless of who the dialogue is with: with yourself, God, the people around you. After all, we all, regardless of strength and strength of character, want to be understood. It is important for us to receive attention and support, sympathy and approval.

What are tears?

Everyone knows that people can cry. Just what are tears? Some consider them to be a defense mechanism: a speck of dust gets into the eye and tears flow. For others, tears are primarily a manifestation of strong emotions. Joy or sadness, emotions or pains of love - all these conditions can cause tears in a person.

We can say that there are reflex tears, which are necessary to moisturize and cleanse the eyes. And there are emotional tears, companions of human feelings. Let's talk about these tears.

I like to cry...

The topic of tears is not interesting to everyone. However, it is very worrying for those people who always have “wet eyes.” This is what they themselves say about tears.

“And this has happened to me sometimes, when I’m very tired or worried for a very long time.” It only takes one word to say when the limit is already reached, and the tears will flow in a stream on their own, and it is no longer easy to stop them. You just need to cry.

– When I found out that my favorite actor died, I couldn’t believe it and cried and cried... But why? I didn’t even know my idol personally, but I’m crying for him...

– If a person cries, it means he has a soul!

– I cry just like that, for no reason. Why this is so is unclear. I can cry at any moment if I just think about something - for example, about the death of Snape from Harry Potter. Am I probably crazy?

– Yes, tears really do calm you down. Once you cry, it’s as if a stone has been lifted from your soul, you forget about your problems for a while, or your problems cease to be problems at all.

Who cries all the time? What does all of this mean?

Some people cry openly, while others are embarrassed by their tears and hide them. After all, sometimes tears in public are met with misunderstanding from others. Many consider emotional manifestations in the form of tears a sign of weakness... Therefore, the question on the agenda is: “Why do I cry and can’t do anything about it, while others don’t cry at all?”

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan brings clarity to this issue. Emotional manifestations in the form of tears are most typical for those with a visual vector. A vector is a set of desires and properties of the human psyche, there are eight vectors in total.

Those with a visual vector, and there are only five percent of such people, are characterized by the highest degree of emotionality, which can manifest itself in a wide range. Their need to change emotional states is very strong, but unconscious - it is in the range of these changes that the viewer experiences life. Emotions can change each other instantly. It happens that a person is sad and lonely, and the next moment he already experiences enthusiastic feelings and a surging love for everything around him. At the peak of feelings, tears seem to flow from big beautiful eyes. They accompany the viewer in sadness and joy.

Since we see the world through ourselves, people without the same mental properties seem callous, thick-skinned, and heartless to the viewer. An emotional viewer even attributes displays of emotion to animals: “ As a child, I saw a cow crying as it was loaded into a truck to be taken to slaughter... It’s not just humans who cry in pain...” They attribute the ability to feel to plants, and little spectators to toys.

According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, such properties as emotionality and frequent tears are not our choice, but a natural given. All our desires, needs and properties are determined by the presence of one vector or another. The need to cry is an innate mental property of the owner of the visual vector. Therefore, tears, as an opportunity to relieve internal emotional stress, are necessary for spectators - children and adults, men and women.

However, if a child, girl or woman cries, it is perceived as normal. What happens if a man cries? In our society, men's tears cause bewilderment and sometimes rejection (especially from men with an anal vector: “Are you a man or what?”). But if a man with a visual vector has such a need, then this can be done, just not in public, but in a private setting.

Such different tears

Tears usually accompany strong emotional experiences, but even here the reason for tears can vary. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains what this difference is. We have already mentioned that the amplitude of emotional experiences in a person with a visual vector fluctuates within very wide limits: from fear for oneself to love for all people.

What determines what emotions the viewer feels and what feelings he experiences? This depends on the degree of development of his innate properties in childhood and on their implementation in adulthood. If the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently developed and realized, then a person does not know how to create emotional connections with others. Usually the tears of such a person are associated with self-pity. But the feelings and suffering of other people do not find a response in his soul.

If the potential of visual properties, namely the ability to empathize and sympathize with other people, is developed and realized, a person is able to worry about another person more than about himself, and feel his feelings as his own. Let's look at the differences.

What kind of crying? What kind of roar?

The bad physics teacher gave you, an excellent student, a B instead of an A - and you are unable to hold back your loud sobs. They pushed you on the bus - and your eyes immediately filled with tears, you stood there, barely restraining yourself so as not to sob loudly and bitterly. The boss at work checked you and reprimanded you - again you sit there crying. Things aren’t going well with relationships, but you just want to fly with love – and then fall into tears again. How sweet it is to cry into your pillow before going to bed! I feel so bad... I'm so unhappy...

Many people remember from childhood Agnia Barto’s poem “The Roaring Girl”, who “Cries, Fills herself, Wipes herself with her dress...” Who among us has not met such girls in our lives - both small and fully grown?

This is how they are, “tears into ourselves,” when we cry out of self-pity: “Nobody loves me.” “No one needs me.” “Why did I have to suffer so much?” “I’m so tired of loneliness”... Such tears are bitter, burning... They only temporarily relieve tension.

In this case, we don’t think about the fact that someone else at the same moment may feel a thousand times worse and more bitter, because “my finger” hurts—ME hurts. And the fact that another’s soul is torn from pain does not concern me. There is even a popular saying about this: “Someone else’s tear is water”... I feel sorry for MYSELF, I want to be loved and pitied.

And sometimes the tears of such a viewer turn into a tool for manipulating other people, a way of attracting attention to oneself. Usually this happens unconsciously.

Tears of compassion

There are other tears. You are in the cinema - watching the tragic story of the main character of the film: she is losing her sight, is about to go blind, she has to work hard for the sake of her son, but her plans and life itself are crumbling before our eyes. And so you sit in a dark hall and sniffle, and as the tragedy of the plot intensifies, you can barely restrain your sobs. Only darkness hides your abundant tears. You look around: everything is calm, people are sitting, just watching a movie...

I came across a TV story about orphans. The stories of babies abandoned by their parents also do not leave anyone indifferent. You are sincerely perplexed how you can do this to a child, how a mother can live in peace without being interested in her little blood. How does a baby survive care and love? And again my eyes are full of tears...

But tears overtake you not only in the tragic stories of human lives, but also in joy. Whenever you hear a story about the greatness of human genius, about people and teams who have made breakthroughs for the benefit of all humanity, when you see the fundamental results of human labor and creativity - beautiful buildings, temples, objects of art, you are filled with an extraordinary sense of awareness of the greatness of Man. and involvement with all humanity. And again tears flow from my eyes, and there is such inspiration inside, I really want to do something big, important for all people!

The article was written using materials from online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
Chapter:

Tearfulness is a psycho-emotional state that periodically appears in every person. Tears are one of the body’s emotional reactions that occurs in response to painful and emotional stimuli. The appearance of tears is not considered a pathological reaction; they help get rid of nervous tension, “throw out” negative emotions and restore mental balance. In contrast, tearfulness is a pathological reaction of the nervous system or a feature of the body, which is manifested by excessive tearfulness, the occurrence of tears for any reason or without it, as well as an unstable emotional state.

Frequent tears are not a pathology in young children and impressionable teenagers. In other situations, it is necessary to find out the reasons for tearfulness and learn to cope with your condition.

The reasons for tearfulness in women can be different. It is important to exclude somatic and neurological diseases, which also cause pathological lacrimation and require specialized treatment. If no somatic or neurological pathology is identified, you can cope with tearfulness yourself or with the help of a psychologist.

The most common causes of tearfulness in women:

Tearfulness and irritability

Nervous fatigue and stress, as a rule, cause 2 symptoms at once: tearfulness and. Against the background of nervous exhaustion, any stimuli to which a healthy person does not pay attention cause such an inadequate reaction. Nervousness leads to a state of constant nervousness, when tears can appear suddenly, in response to a joke, an unsuccessful remark or remark. Rest and taking sedatives can help cope with character changes and tearfulness.

Frequent tearfulness

Frequent tearfulness may be a symptom of developing depression. If tears occur several times a day for various reasons, it is worth thinking about the state of the person’s nervous system and the need to provide him with qualified assistance.

With depression, tears appear not because of external, but because of internal reasons - some experiences, fears or anxiety. Frequent tearfulness is considered a normal mental reaction after suffering psychological trauma - the loss of a loved one, serious illness, divorce, and so on. In this situation, tears help to cope with negative experiences and have a beneficial effect on the person’s condition.

Tearfulness syndrome

Tearfulness syndrome or hanging tearfulness may be a sign of psychopathology. If tears occur constantly, for no apparent reason or for unknown reasons, you need to pay attention to the person’s mental state. This condition differs from frequent tearfulness in the cause of tears and the rapidity of mood changes. In psychopathologies, tears arise for a variety of reasons: a broken flower, bad weather, an unkind look, and so on, and the patient’s mood quickly changes - tears are replaced by joy, laughter, and then by irritation or aggression.

Pregnancy and childbirth

Tearfulness and rapid changes of emotions in pregnant women and young mothers are considered quite normal and do not cause concern among others. As a rule, sentimentality and involuntary tears actually arise due to hormonal changes. Elevated levels of progesterone and other female hormones have a depressing effect on the nervous system, causing tearfulness, inability to control emotions, irritability and anxiety.

If the tears of a pregnant woman or a woman who has recently given birth are caused by sad stories, touching photographs or songs, there is no need to worry; with the help of tears, the woman’s psyche has the opportunity to get rid of accumulated emotions and normalize her condition. But if they appear daily or several times a day, the condition remains constantly depressed or anxious - this should be a reason to consult a doctor, since the development of neurosis is possible.

Critical days and menopause

Changes in mood, frequent tears and emotionality are noted by more than half of women a few days before menstruation and during menopausal changes. At this time, they also experience a change in hormonal levels, which also leads to increased sensitivity and tearfulness.

Somatic diseases

Tearfulness can occur with pathologies such as hypothyroidism, diabetes mellitus, Alzheimer's disease or senile dementia, brain injury or chronic somatic and infectious diseases. With these pathologies, in addition to tearfulness, other symptoms occur that help make the correct diagnosis.

Often tears appear during the recovery period after injuries, infectious or somatic diseases, in this case there is no need to fight tearfulness - this way the nervous system gets rid of excess tension and normalizes its condition.

How to cope with increased tearfulness

Increased tearfulness can greatly disturb a woman or irritate others. In the first case, you should seriously address the state of your nervous system, and in the second, try to learn to restrain your impulses.

Before starting any treatment and taking measures to control lacrimation, you need to make sure that there are no endocrine and neurological diseases; only after they have been excluded can you begin to use one or more methods to combat tearfulness.

If tears often occur at the most inopportune time or place, you can cope with them using the following methods:

Deep breathing – you can deal with the onset of tears by inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Concentrate on your breathing and after 10 breaths it will become easier.
Concentrate your attention on something - urgently start looking for something in your bag, unfasten your keychain or straighten your shoes. For all these manipulations, it is better to move away from people to a quiet place.
Thinking about something very funny or unpleasant - strong emotions will help suppress tears.
Chewing gum or finding a piece of candy to suck on, or taking a sip of water may also help.

“I cry all the time—whether there is a reason or not!” What to do with tears over trifles if they interfere with a normal life? And why do people cry for no reason? Excessive emotionality since childhood? Not at all.

The modern rhythm of life is accompanied by regular stress, haste and tension. Surely, each of us, against the background of overwork, was overtaken by sudden, causeless tears. Let's try to figure out what are the causes and consequences of this phenomenon. And let's look at simple practical ways to cope with the problem.

Why do people cry for no reason?

Everyone has probably thought about where crying for no reason comes from when they are in a difficult emotional situation. Even when . You have probably witnessed or been a participant in such a picture. We remember that tears are an expression of emotions accumulated in our body. But what exactly can trigger tears for no reason?

Reasons why you want to cry for no reason

Accumulated neuroses and stress.

Stress overtakes us at work, in transport, on the street, at home. That the most amazing irritation and nervousness often arises on vacation, where a person does not expect it at all. It is almost impossible to predict and prevent such a phenomenon. Negative emotions consume us and accumulate in the body. They negatively affect our nervous system, weakening it.

Without realizing it, we become “exhausted” from overwork and stress. And tears for no reason become the body’s reaction to emotional overload, which our exhausted nervous system is not able to cope with on its own.
Severe stress due to long-standing events.

The human brain is capable of absorbing and remembering the most vivid moments. We are talking about positive and negative phenomena. Even if it seems to you that everything has long passed and been forgotten, memories are stored at the level of the subconscious, which is sometimes capable of behaving unpredictably. Why do they cry for no reason at the most unpredictable moments, when everything seems to be fine? Try to look for the cause of sudden tears in the past - perhaps you have not been able to let go of some events. Maybe it's a reaction to a memory. Your brain has found something “painful” in a specific situation, movie, music track. And he reacted with unexpected and causeless tears.
Disturbances in the body.

Unreasonable tears can also occur against the background of hormonal imbalances. Most often society. An excess or deficiency of certain substances in the body affects a person’s emotional state. Along with the “tearful” reaction, the body produces other unforeseen consequences - weight loss or gain, drowsiness or insomnia, poor or increased appetite.

If the tears that appear on their own are not accompanied by emotional stress and a disturbance in the emotional state, consult an ophthalmologist. It happens that you don’t want to cry, but tears appear involuntarily. This can also be caused by a blockage or cold in the eye canal. At the same time, unpleasant sensations may occur in the corners of the eyes.

“I constantly cry for no reason, what should I do about it?”

If, in addition to causeless tears, you begin to notice other problems in the body, you should definitely make an appointment with a doctor. Perhaps you are lacking some substance in your body and it would not hurt to get tested for thyroid hormones. In any case, a specialist will examine you and help identify and eliminate the root of the problem. If necessary, he will refer you to see a psychotherapist, whom you did not consider necessary to go to on your own.

But if causeless tears are caused by chronic fatigue, rest is indicated for you. Based on the situation, choose the best course of action. Evening walks before bed and relaxing baths will help cope with irritability. Or maybe you need a day off for good sleep? And if you haven’t gone anywhere for a long time, plan a picnic or fishing for the weekend. Rest helps to cope with the consequences of chronic neurosis and normalize the nervous system.

How to react to causeless crying?

Where's the best place to cry?

Even strong people have the right to tears and there is no need to be afraid of it.
If you really want to cry, it’s better to cry in a psychologist’s office, at the same time together you will find the real reason and be able to solve your problems.
Suppressing feelings and emotions is much more dangerous.

“I often cry for no reason. What to do when tears appear at the most inopportune moment - at work, on the street or in public places?

First of all, do not be alarmed by this reaction of the body. If your emotionality suddenly manifested itself, even attracting the attention of others, this is not the worst thing in life. You can handle everything. If for some reason you feel like crying for no reason, there is still a reason. You need to look for her. But first of all, you need to calm down. Try the following techniques if you experience sudden tears:

Talk.

Moral support from a loved one is a great way to cope with emotions, calm down and look at what is happening in a new way. Sometimes talking with a stranger can save you. Without fearing the reaction of loved ones, you simply express what worries you. Against the backdrop of emotional unloading, sudden tears also occur.
Self-control.

If you often find yourself in tears for no reason, you will have to learn to control them. This cannot be done without initial efforts. Don't try - it won't do much good. It’s better to consciously set yourself to calm down. Take a deep breath several times, follow your breath, focus on it, get up, drink some water, try to switch your attention to any object around you - look at it and tell yourself about it: what color it is, why it is here, etc. Your job is to shift your thoughts to something that doesn't cause you to have an obvious emotional reaction. Try to achieve complete muscle relaxation and redirect the flow of thoughts, this will help you calm down.
Medication assistance.

Any pharmacological drug must be taken as prescribed by a doctor. But you can also purchase a complex of vitamins on your own - despite the popular belief that causeless tears need to be “treated,” it doesn’t hurt to do some simple prevention. Vitamins and mild sedatives are suitable if you often feel anxious or upset. There is no need to shy away from medical support; your nervous system requires care just like other body systems.
Help from a psychoanalyst.

There is no need to be afraid of psychotherapists. Do you feel that it has become difficult for you to cope with surging emotions? Or maybe causeless tears began to “attack” you very often? Make an appointment with a specialist. Your doctor will help you determine the cause of your increased emotionality. In the process of a simple conversation, you yourself will reveal to him your irritant. It is easier for a psychoanalyst to understand what provokes your condition. Unreasonable tears can occur against the background of regular nagging from the boss, inattention from the husband or misunderstanding of the children, or they can hide much more serious psychological disorders, which are almost impossible to cope with on your own.

Only by understanding the causes of tearfulness can you find the best way to solve this problem. Learn to respond to disruptions in your body in a timely manner to avoid unexpected emotional shocks. Take care of yourself. If your body gives a signal - it will be crying for no reason or other manifestations - do not let them pass your attention. Your body will thank you.

Tears are a natural reaction to various life factors. Even in infancy, the child begins to actively demonstrate a “tear reflex,” thereby calling on his mother (father, grandmother, grandfather) to communicate and express love. In this way, the baby says that he is cold, wants to eat, or simply wants to hear his native voice. But not only children can express their feelings with tears - and adults often give them free rein. All people sooner or later experience tearfulness, the reasons for which can be different - both from resentment and grief, and from happiness and joy.

A person cries not only because he wants to (for example, from watching a love melodrama or from a misfortune that has occurred in the family), but also for physiological reasons. Tears are a manifestation of emotions, a kind of release for the body. A person after a good “shake-up” (namely, after crying) feels much better. According to many psychologists, crying is necessary. Tears help you relax and look at life with a new “fresh” look. How often do young girls who have been abandoned by their boyfriends cry into their pillows all day long? Let us note that in the morning they already get up with completely different thoughts and emotions. If you constantly suppress the release of emotions, the nervous system can become unstable. So sometimes a person simply has to give vent to tears so as not to harm his health.

But there is no need to cry excessively: a constantly crying person not only does not evoke pity, but also annoys those around him. In this case, tearfulness, the causes of which are completely incomprehensible, is nothing more than a serious illness. A person’s mental health can suffer greatly if endless tears are accompanied by irritability and aggression. Such a personality needs to be treated, no matter how trivial it may sound, but this requires a course with a psychologist and medication.

Tearfulness, the causes of which are ordinary life situations, may not at all mean that the person is suffering. Most people, especially women, exhibit this condition quite often. Men, unlike the fair sex, due to their upbringing, cannot cry. This behavior is considered wrong, tears prolong life, they are capable of energy. But from birth, boys are told that they should not cry, and that they must control all their emotions. Men who do not cry are more likely to experience bad mood, nervousness and apathy. Everyone needs to shed tears, roar, and sob, regardless of a person’s age and gender, but only in moderation, and only correctly - quietly, calmly and in exceptional moments.

Excessive emotions can accompany both adults and young children. Most often, a woman becomes especially tearful when she is carrying a baby under her heart. Crying during pregnancy is quite normal; the hormones of the expectant mother are constantly in a rapid rhythm, forcing the woman to shed tears for any reason.

But if an ordinary adult’s eyes are constantly “wet” due to a mental disorder, then this must be dealt with. And a professional psychologist or neurologist will help here, who will answer the exciting question of how to get rid of tearfulness. Usually, treatment is prescribed in the form of taking tinctures and herbs, normalizing nutrition, and the “patient” is tuned to positive emotions. It is necessary to surround yourself with joyful and cheerful emotions, to forever get rid of the negative interference of events or third parties. And then tearfulness, the causes of which come from outside, can leave him for a long time.

A person who does not show emotions is not able to empathize and love. Such a person lacks common sense and is more like a robot.