Comic medical card for February 23. Costume comic congratulations

Leading: Dear guests! Today you are all about big connections, you will undergo a medical examination completely free of charge. You will be examined by the most highly qualified doctor, whose appointment must be made several months in advance.
A doctor comes in wearing a robe and cap.

Doctor: Hello, guests! Please prepare your hearts for a medical examination.
(Approaches everyone, listening to the heart with a phonendoscope) speaks:
1.Completely healthy.
2. Let me hear what’s in your heart?

Diagnosis: mild crush!
3.What is your heart singing about? Can I listen?
So, the diagnosis is clear - that means 100 grams of vodka every half hour for tonight. By the end of the anniversary, the wound will heal itself.
4. Young man, say A-A-A.
Enough. We write: confuses day with night. It’s okay, half of our population lives quietly with such a diagnosis.

5. But, dear, what will you please us with?

All clear. She is sleeping!
6. And you, father, why are you so sad?
Write. Depression.
8 Who are you, can I listen?

Heightened self-esteem. There's nothing you can do about it.
9. Well, your heart will definitely introduce you to us, who are you, what is your last name?

Persecution mania...
10. You sigh throughout the entire medical examination. Have you eaten anything today, how do you generally eat?
11. Here is your heart, it seems that it’s about to jump out from an overabundance of feelings. Is there something you really want to say?

Well done.
12 Your heart, it seems to me, is worried about the gifts that you gave to the hero of the day today?

It’s better to listen to the heart, it will tell the truth.

(approaches the hero of the day)
Tell me, when the anniversary is over, everyone will go home and you will be alone in the evening, what words will you say to your wife that are in your heart.

Can we listen too?

So, I checked all the guests, the diagnosis for everyone is clear:
1 Chronic jubilism.
2 Bottleism
3 Tanzelite
4 Overeating
5 Peretostitis
6 Acute drunkenness
7 Hangover syndrome
8 Acute drink deficiency

I urgently prescribe a potion for everyone: White, Red, Dry!
Our dear hero of the day also underwent a medical examination!
Our council of relatives and friends who came to the anniversary.
Having examined the hero of the day: ear, throat, nose, liver, heart, kidney, spleen.
Taking the depth of the convolutions and the length of the intestine,
The conclusion was that our hero of the day is young.
The cardiogram says, the heart beats without a flaw.
According to a blood test, he is fit for fiery love.
And like urine like a piece of glass, it doesn’t hit your head
Yes, and on the lower floor, when viewed in the lower floor,
Everything is in order, everything is in order, only there are calluses on the heel,
Well, it doesn’t matter, he always runs a lot.

There are no unnecessary wrinkles on the face, sharp eyesight and excellent hearing.
The brain and digestion are normal, only the reproductive channel is blocked,

It doesn’t matter either, he always wants sex.
And he can physically work until he sweats.
We conclude that he does not need treatment.
Is it just to relax and with the guests a little bit,
For a healthy person, take 100, 125 grams!

Our dear hero of the day, we present to you medal" In a healthy body healthy mind "

We give you honor and glory,
Let life warm you with kindness,
After all, you are the owner by right
The rewards are so high!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DEAR____________________!

Congratulating your loved ones on their main holiday in an original and fun way is not such an easy task. And if it’s a corporate event for men on February 23, female colleagues have to take into account dozens of nuances, from the nature of the company to the tastes of each person invited to the holiday.

Place, time

Start by choosing a room - this will help you decide on all further questions. Of course, it is ideal to book a cafe/restaurant with enough space for a stage, dancing, and banquet tables. Sufficient space will allow you to implement all the ideas for decorating the hall and any theme of the corporate party for February 23: military registration and enlistment office, barracks, exercises, military operation to combat despondency.

It is not always possible to move furniture in the office; office equipment gets in the way; there is not enough space for active competitions. And in general, a corporate party at work is not a very good idea if there is no separate room for such events. But decorating the hall in a military style will create a festive atmosphere, even if there is not enough space for wild fun with dancing and funny scenes.

Decor

• Hang a congratulatory banner above the entrance or stage. Print themed posters, cartoons, funny pictures in army style. They can be easily supplemented with short anecdotes, jokes, chants for February 23 - interactive decor attracts attention and remains in the memory of guests;

• make a “cool” stand for men with congratulations on February 23 in verse(short quatrains with humor). You can print a large thematic poster, where instead of the faces of the characters there are photos of colleagues. It is not necessary to be a master of FS, the main message is.

A joke on competitors - a poster where one army is chasing another. The winners have your company logo on their helmets/caps, while the losers have their competitor’s logo on them. But it is better to discuss this point with management.

• borrow a camouflage net for the duration of the corporate event(summer residents, hunters, fishermen). It can be thrown over furniture or hung on the wall in a photo zone. Folding chairs, backpacks, accessories and khaki-colored clothes will come in handy - to decorate the hall on February 23, these are the most atmospheric decorations;

• Cut triangles from khaki paper and assemble into garlands. Inside some of them paste your logo, a photo of the heroes of the occasion in helmets and caps (Photoshop). Hang balloons in themed colors in the shape of military equipment. Use toys to decorate the hall - soldiers, weapons, binoculars and compasses, tank cars.

Inside every man, even the most serious one, there lives a boy who has not played enough. If the room allows, organize a radio-controlled jeep race at your corporate event - the stronger sex will be delighted!

• buy napkins, tablecloths, disposable tableware, khaki cocktail straws. You can make toppers from pictures on toothpicks (the company logo against the background of the country’s flag, a helmet, a red star), and replace the labels on bottles with themed pictures.

Invite all your colleagues to the corporate event, not just men. Ideas for an original invitation for February 23: a postcard in a military style (tank, grenade, brave soldier), a comic summons to the military registration and enlistment office, a dispatch from a general with an order to appear at the gathering place;

In addition to funny skits and congratulatory songs, prepare thematic anecdotes, toasts, and jokes. They will not let guests get bored during breaks between performances and competitions. Distribute short texts in advance to ladies who are not embarrassed by crowds.

There is no need to include ditties, chants, etc. in the corporate event script - these are rather arbitrary preparations that “pop up” during the course of the event. This will make the atmosphere at the party more relaxed.

Script, entertainment

We offer a universal corporate party scenario for February 23rd in army style. Suitable for a relaxed company gathered in an informal setting. It is advisable to set up a military registration and enlistment office or barracks in the office - hang up instructions, posters, stands.

If the corporate party on February 23 is not held at work, you need to agree in advance with the cafe/restaurant staff about the decoration of the hall (not everyone allows you to create your own decor, keep this in mind when choosing an establishment).

The main presenter appears in the image of a sexy commander/military commissar with a folder and/or even a whip, dressed in military style, speaking in a commanding voice. She greets the guests and invites them to sit at the tables.

Introductory part

Two “brand new” FIFA girls appear on the stage, very slender, typical “blondes”. The guests watch a funny scene as if from the middle of a conversation:

First girl(P): ...and also womanism flourishes there and for some reason it needs to be on the nightstand.

Second girl(B): Some nonsense. I do not believe!

P: true true! And just imagine - no cosmetics. You'll have to go AWOL for lipstick. You can also wash foot wraps by hand and even clean your boots yourself!

IN(horrified): And all by hand? What about manicure?!

P: Honey, what a manicure! All day long, either a machine gun or a shovel is in my hands - a manicurist. And makeup, by the way. Just imagine, you spend the whole morning making things look beautiful, and then bam the commander says: “Well, everyone put on gas masks!”

IN: No, I won’t join the army, a gas mask doesn’t suit me at all. Although there are so many beautiful men there... But I’m wearing a gas mask... Eh!

P: Men? It's true! This, by the way, is the worst thing (in a creepy whisper) - after all, everyone you meet will have to salute!

The second girl makes big eyes, covers her most precious possessions with her hands, then grabs her head: And then who will need me so dishonest? He begins to howl loudly: How can I slope down? I won't go!

Two new people appear on the stage and approach the FIFA. Portly, with curves. One is dressed as a nurse, the second is a cook, with a large ladle:

Honey: Why did you burst into tears, you sick people? Who did you give in to? You'll only scare away all the men!

POV: They don’t want to give honor! Yes, there would be something to give away (twists two figs and shows the modest size of the “honor” of skinny fashionistas). Well, Shast Otsedova (he swings a ladle at the fifa, they run away from the stage).

Momma's children, no way in the world
Don't go to the army to serve
In the army there are shovels, a parade ground and machine guns
In the army for two years without pay.
We will bite, offend and beat you
Don't join the army, you whiners.
In the army there is a robber, in the army there is a vampire
The army has a terrible co-manager!

They continue, making cute faces, dancing seductively during the loss:

But if you're a man, there's no reason to be afraid
We will live with you until
Yes, the army has shovels, parade ground and machine guns
The commander with a hangover is terrible
But we will feed you, care for you and love you
Come to the army to serve!
In the army they will show you and teach you everything,
They will teach you to defend your honor and your homeland!
We will feed you, care for you and love you
Come, guys, to serve in the army!

When choosing funny musical scenes, ditties, and remade songs for February 23, use the x-minus.me program or its equivalent. The service allows you to process a minus in two clicks, changing the key and tempo so that your words fit perfectly with the music everyone is familiar with.

Body check

Presenter (hereinafter B): And after such a speech, how can you not run to the military registration and enlistment office? However, you have no choice! Listen to my command - the whole squad should line up for the medical examination and roll call. Stand up in alphabetical order so that my eyes don’t run over the list of surnames. Why are we sitting?! There will be no deferments from the army for anyone today!

All men invited to the corporate event are lined up according to the first letter of their last name. The medical examination on February 23, of course, will be humorous - there is no need to undress or touch anyone. V. moves from the first to the last in the ranks and comments.

A person who knows everyone well should come up with “cool” characteristics for colleagues for February 23rd. Phrases should be funny, but not offensive.

• so, private Antonov... Wow, what hands! With such people you don’t even need a shovel - valuable personnel;

• Dubov, why have you grown hair like a mammoth’s armpit?? Look at Ivanov - his skull is already shining, and your head will be sweating under your helmet. Should I shave? Okay, we'll figure it out later.

IN: ok, the medical examination is over. Now we line up according to height (men rearrange). You are so slow, like pregnant turtles! We need to hurry you up... Well, quickly line up according to the size of your manhood. Stop laughing! Now they will give out the form - compare bellies, and not what you thought. Vulgar people!

For our corporate party scenario for February 23rd, prepare military-style caps, caps, tunics, badges or other accessories for men. V. distributes them after the “platoon” has adjusted to the size of the belly.

IN., looking around the “soldiers”: But nothing happened, quite a decent platoon. But the appearance is great, the main thing is physical preparation! Defending your homeland doesn’t mean shaving off your beard with a jillette—risk is always present.

Active competitions

Next in the scenario are army-style competitions. How many of them there will be and which ones to choose depends on many factors - physical fitness and the average age of colleagues, the time allotted for the entertainment part, the location of the corporate event.

On February 23, darts or throwing balls of paper into a basket, arm wrestling, competitions for reaction speed, and endurance are suitable for the office. For young people, you can organize sports games ("exercises") in nature. Examples of active competitions for a corporate party on February 23 at work, in a restaurant (in limited space):

• who will hold the young lady in his arms longer, following the commands of the presenter(jump, squat, spin around, stand on one leg);

• who will inflate a balloon faster, jumping butt on a foot-drop to the song “Esaul, why did you abandon your horse?”. The ball needs to be put on the hose, borrow pumps from friends (they come with air mattresses, gymnastic balls, etc.);

• two participants have dangling bags with two raw eggs inside hung from their fronts. By swinging the bag, you need to break your opponent's eggs. Conclusion to the competition: “Now let’s see which of you has the strongest eggs!” Of course, if the morals of the company allow such jokes;

• use a soft ball to knock down tin cans standing one on top of the other. The difficulty is that the cans need to be knocked down one at a time, starting from the top. If the whole tower falls, drink the penalty and try again or pass the ball to the next one;

• wrap footcloths(tear strips of cheap fabric) for a certain time. There are two winners - the fastest and the one who completes the task as correctly as possible.

Table break

IN: “Service is service, and lunch is on schedule. I invite everyone to the table!” To prevent a corporate party from turning into a banal drinking party, prepare short funny skits, congratulations on February 23 in verse, songs of alteration, etc. Military-style table games and competitions will fit perfectly:

• exam for men on knowledge of slang, abbreviations;

• take turns telling thematic jokes or making toasts. Anyone who can’t remember/come up with a penalty drink or forfeits;

• guess theme songs based on the first line/musical fragment;

• if a corporate party on February 23 is held in the company of a large number of women, let the “soldiers” guess by body part which of the fair half of the team is shown in the photo. It will be cool if the series of eyes, hands and the back of heads is diluted with a couple of pictures of appetizing cleavage and women’s butts(or even men’s ones - let them rack their brains, listing all the young ladies).

• guess how much the backpack/duffel bag shown by the presenter weighs (name the weight closest to the actual one).

Oath, collective congratulations

IN: So, stop relaxing! Platoon, line up to take the oath! In order to avoid the burden, so be it, I read it, and you bawle in a friendly chorus, “I swear!” after each point of the oath.

• sacredly observe the company's charter, provide all possible assistance to colleagues and work for the idea, even if they are not given a salary (in unison - I swear!)

• diligently pretend that I strictly follow all the orders of my superiors

• come up with masterly excuses for absenteeism and tardiness

• to the machinations of the enemy element - a vigilant competitor - to respond with shock labor

• always protect the honor and dignity of the fair half of the team, beloved women and the Motherland.

Today we are not just relaxing -
Congratulations to the defenders of the reliable
Happy holiday - hurray! (all women in chorus - from February 23!)
Let everything in life be beautiful,
Enough money for the south and beer
Heroic health and women's health (in unison: from February 23!)
So that your wives appreciate you - give you affection and warmth,
So that the fish always bite, so that every choice is easy
I was on my life's journey. Well, for the sake of rhyming “for” - from February 23!

The final part of the scenario is the presentation of gifts in military style. You can order souvenirs with template or your own inscriptions through the network - keychains, medals, fake military ID cards, mugs, T-shirts, etc. Awards with humor - “cool” nominations:

• Mr. Savior, smile, homebody, hard worker, charm, punctuality;

• "real colonel" to the most senior or superior

• “a fighter of the invisible front” to someone who does unnoticed but important work

• “peacemaker” for the ability to resolve conflict situations

• "think tank" for idea generator

• “operative staff” to someone who always turns out to be in the right place at the right time, does not refuse to replace a colleague, and helps out when necessary;

• Field Marshal Nalivaiko, General Ulybaiko, Colonel Trudolyubov, Major KreatIvin, etc.

Give the winner a personalized medal, cup or certificate. If there will be a lot of people at the corporate party, include anonymous voting in the script. If the company is close, come up with and distribute nominations for February 23 in advance, according to the individual qualities of your colleagues.

Other thematic ideas for decorating the hall, scenarios and competitions are collected and.

(The program involves sexy nurses who conduct a medical and technical examination of the male team)

The event takes place in the form of a solemn meeting, which is conducted by women, while maintaining a very serious appearance. An invitation notice warns about the meeting:

“Our dear, beloved Men! February 23 at 12.00 p.m. in... a solemn meeting dedicated to Defender of the Fatherland Day will take place. All men of our...appearance is strictly required!”

There is music in the hall. Men take their seats, women sit at a table covered with a tablecloth. There is a carafe of water on it and a sign with the inscription “Festive Presidium”.

Presenter (preferably a woman from the team): On the agenda:
Report
Debate on the report
Awards
Banquet

Good afternoon, dear ladies and gentlemen! At the very beginning of the report, I would like to remind everyone present that today we have gathered for a reason, but on the occasion of the national holiday - Defender of the Fatherland Day! And therefore, allow me to congratulate everyone on this wonderful event. Hurray, comrades!

Over the past period, a lot of fruitful work has been done to strengthen the defense capabilities of our collective and prevent peace throughout the world. I would like to note with joy that during the entire year not a single armed conflict occurred in the team. Small separatist attacks by individual elements were immediately stopped with a kind word, a friendly facial expression and an expressive configuration of the fingers.

The moral and political level of the team was also not ignored. The situation outside the team is gradually normalizing and no longer provides food for the development of terrorist threats and attacks from superior neighbors and competitors.

Against the backdrop of all the achievements and victories, we should not forget that technological progress does not stand still. Therefore, it is time to seriously think about re-equipping our armed forces. We need new simulators, new software that will allow our defenders to continue to improve.

In conclusion, I would like to wish all members of our team to continue to make every effort to strengthen the defense, and then VICTORY WILL BE OURS!!!

(stormy, prolonged applause, turning into standing ovation)

HOST: I propose not to enter into the debate and move on to the third question.

(comic medals have been prepared for awarding)

1. For the affirmation of the life principle “The slower you go, the further you will go!” The “modest guy” medal is awarded...

2. For courage in combining business with pleasure and confirming the saying “Our shooter has ripened everywhere” with a medal of the first degree “time for business, two for fun!” awarded...

3. For courage in the struggle for a bachelor lifestyle, the Order of the “Heartbreaker” of the first degree is awarded...

4. The first green medal is awarded to the youngest member of our team...
5. For courage in maintaining mystery, the “Mr. X” medal is awarded...
6. For courage in the struggle to uphold the principle “There are no ugly women,” the Order of “Ladies’ Man” is awarded...

7. And other nominations, for example: (rich Pinocchio, walking joke, Mr. reckless driver, cool driver)

"MEDICAL COMMISSION" or sexy nurses

(comic congratulations to the men in the team)

Nurses act as doctors (1. “Chief physician”, 2. “Speech therapist”, 3. “Therapist”, 4. “Psychiatrist”, “Ophthalmologist”) and men as patients.

Chief physician: Today is a holiday - the Day of Defenders of the Country……………..
Speech therapist: Quickly, clearly, without hesitation, repeat to me three times:
“There is no cooler person in the world than me, because I’m always on horseback!”
(men repeat the phrase three times)…………………………………………..

Head doctor: Go to the therapist!
Therapist: Clench your hands into fists, raise them, lower them……………………………..
Psychiatrist: In the age of progress and technology, depression will destroy many………………..
Ophthalmologist: Clear gaze and sharp eye, this is said about you…………………………….

Head physician: In life, I’ll tell you honestly, there should be no place for laziness!
If laziness has overcome you, then fight it boldly.
Take coffee and tea into special containers and pour it!

(women from the team give mugs to men)

Musical pause.
Conducting blitz competitions.