How can you respond to an insult with clever words. How to respond to insults

In school, college or on the street, we often have to take part in verbal duels. Against this background, it is necessary to understand how to wittily respond to an insult of a serious or humorous nature. With the help of such answers you can become literate and popular. But even the greatest physical strength will not help in a situation of “non-contact” fighting in tongues.

How to respond intelligently to a serious insult?

If you are insulted in all seriousness, then you should respond as smartly as possible. This way you will automatically break the position of the aggressor, making him miserable.

And here are a few phrases that can be used in a conflict situation:

• I look like a prostitute because I have nothing to hide. And I see you disguise yourself well;
• After what nature did to you, you should just hate Greenpeace;
• I don't know what makes you stupid, but it really works;
• If my health were like your figure, I would have died long ago;
• You are so smart, it’s as if you graduated from a madhouse with honors;
• It's probably time for you to go. The zoo closes early. You will spend the night next to the cage again;
• You may think badly of me, but I'm afraid there won't be enough RAM.

Remember that when responding to an insult like “stupid”, “freak” or even “whore”, you should not use prohibited techniques. Don’t attack the offender’s parents, don’t try to touch the aggressor’s nerves. The more angry you are, the worse you make yourself. And this is the ultimate goal of insults directed at you.

How to respond to a humorous insult in a funny way?

In many youth groups it is customary to use funny insults. And to always be on top, you must be able to laugh it off perfectly.

Otherwise, you can become a sullen old man in the eyes of your friends. At the same time, it is important not only to put friends in their place, but also to show self-irony.

And here are some interesting phrases that will help you react cheerfully to jokes addressed to you:

1. I used to be a genius. I just fell into a boiler with brake fluid as a child;
2. My acne is another sign that I'm not a fag;
3. I dress so poorly because last full moon I was bitten by a homeless person;
4. I would gladly go to a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that they won’t let me into your house;
5. Your jokes are like geometry. It’s incomprehensible crap, but you have to listen;
6. If you could die from stupidity, you would have died 200 times.

The main thing is not to take the playful “battle” into a serious direction. If you feel that humorous insults are bothering you, tell your friends. Continuing the duel from the other side is a sure sign that you need to change friends.

Answering an insult with a question

Often aggressors do not understand their words. Some people simply say unnecessary things, forgetting about any morality.

To stop this flow, ask what he means. You can also ask the reason for the attacks. You can also ask the offender to stop. This will not be a sign of weakness, and will work quite well.

Some people are not aware of their speech until they hear it from the outside. Repeat the insults and ask why you were called that. There is a high probability that the aggressor will claim that he was not understood. This is a sign that the person was speaking out of emotion.

It is important to remember that many boors are provocateurs. They wait until physical force is used against them. And then they play the role of an innocent victim. This means there is no point in using your fists. This will only make their “job” easier.

Why do we insult each other?

Boors do not always have specific goals. Often swearing is a sign of a person’s problems and helplessness. This is how we try to attract attention to ourselves.

Aggressive behavior may be caused by:

• Personal problem;
• Envy;
• Dissatisfaction with life;
• Low self-esteem;
• Mental problems.

If you are a girl and guys insult you, then this may be a sign of special attention. Through physical and mental violence, adolescents show their spiritual and sexual attraction. This “animal” tradition is due to the fact that banal manifestations of feelings in our world are perceived as softness and weakness.

To understand how to wittily respond to insults and swearing, you need to have good imagination and a sense of humor. Then you can quickly select expressions for specific situations. But don't get hung up on such answers. After all, life has many aspects other than hostility and anger.

Anti offensive video:

When faced with rudeness, many are confused, some respond “adequately”, the smartest ones do not react at all. What to do if a colleague, boss, or loved one insults you? Quick response tactics depend on the type of rudeness and the situation.

Many have had and still have to deal with outright rudeness. A painful experience, to say the least. How to behave in such situations? Should I rebuff the offender and, if so, in what form? Let's look at the problem in more detail.

A little theory

What is an insult? This is a deliberate offense, humiliation of a person’s honor and dignity, and in a rude form, with the violation of all socially accepted rules of behavior and moral norms. Insult can be inflicted verbally, in writing and even in action.

Or you can go to court

Yes, the offender can be put in his place in this way. In Russia, insult is an administrative offense, liability for which is provided for in Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses. But the court, as you understand, is better to save for last resorts, and now let’s see how to stand up for ourselves on our own.

How we react

Usually the reaction to rudeness and rudeness is twofold.

The first option: at first we are perplexed (how can this happen in a civilized society?!), then the blood rushes to the face, the heartbeat quickens (because adrenaline is released!) and finally we are overcome with anger, we are ready for a verbal or physical fight.

The second option: the same bewilderment, then the blood drains from the face, because the manifestation of someone else’s rudeness frightens us, and we cannot respond adequately.

According to experts, both options are unproductive. And that's why.

Who is he, the offender?

It turns out that the offender is the victim. A victim of a difficult childhood, or an intolerable character, or bad manners. That is, the most unfortunate person. Also weak. Either stupid or envious. Or maybe humiliated by someone. So at the first opportunity he pours out his negative emotions on you.

Now tell me, is it worth being offended by this? Not to mention letting in the negative expression generated by it.

If the offender is a stranger

Just ignore the words of a stranger that hurt you. Pretend that you don’t notice him, that he’s nothing to you. Turn away if the scene took place in transport, or step aside. Such a reaction will be... offensive to the offender himself, especially if he is a demonstrative psychopath.

If the offender is a colleague or boss

In a work environment, deliberately not noticing offensive attacks directed at you is also a reasonable decision, especially if the source of the negativity is an employee of equal rank with you. But if he still won’t calm down in response to your silence, try responding with a barb or reducing the incident to a joke.

But you shouldn’t joke with your boss. Try to maintain a serene expression on your face, not to show that you are unpleasant, hurt, or offended. And to prevent everything from bubbling inside, psychologists advise imagining the offender in some funny position: for example, on all fours. They say it helps a lot. The main thing is not to laugh in his face. But the presumptuous boss will certainly feel the confidence and strength emanating from you.

If the offender is a loved one

No one, as we know, can hurt us as much as our loved ones. If one of them indulges in barbs, hints, or even direct speech that offends you, do not tolerate it and do not suffer in silence. Immediately say what topic in your communication you consider taboo, what remarks you do not want to hear, what opinion on what subject you are not interested in.

There is no need to arrange a loud showdown. What is said in a quiet voice is much more effective than any hysterics. And if a person really values ​​you, he will understand how not to behave with you. If he envies you, or even just doesn’t like you, think about whether it’s worth maintaining a relationship with him.

Calm, just calm...

So, train a calm reaction to unwanted words and actions of others. Calmness, the absence of acute emotions in response, is a kind of shield that does not allow someone else’s aggression to destroy your psyche, and therefore your health in general.

In any critical situation, it is important to maintain self-esteem, self-confidence and peace of mind. And it doesn’t matter whether you answer the offender or ignore him, he will be disarmed and wonder whether it’s worth treating you this way.

Don't be like a boor

You cannot respond to verbal aggression in kind. Sometimes it is difficult not to succumb to the temptation to humiliate, trample, or shout down a boor, but it’s better not to. Because, firstly, as a result you will feel inner devastation and the resentment will not go away. Secondly, from the outside you will look, at best, ridiculous, and at worst... just as rude as your offender. And thirdly, according to psychologists, this will indicate that he is simply manipulating you.

Don't make excuses

Sometimes, in response to unfair criticism, you want to explain your actions and, thus, justify yourself. You shouldn't do this. Firstly, by trying to prove something to the “critic,” you will put yourself in a humiliating position. And secondly, no one will listen to your arguments. Because the main goal of a critic is to emotionally hurt you and, thanks to this, to assert himself.

If you can’t ignore unfair attacks, just say: I have a different opinion on this matter, and in general I don’t need comments or advice. But remember to keep your cool. Excessive passion can lead you to an argument in which you will get bogged down, to the great joy of the offender.

Keep a sense of humor

Humor, as we know, is a sharp weapon. Some attacks should be answered with a witty joke. Thanks to this reaction, defuse the situation and disarm the offender. He thought that he had struck you, but it turned out that you are invulnerable, you don’t care, the mockery does not achieve its goal. And the offender, like an energy vampire, will quickly lose interest in you and go look for another victim.

Think fast

How often, when faced with a boor and hearing unpleasant words addressed to us, we literally become speechless, unable to quickly and wittyly respond in order to put the presumptuous type in his place. But then wonderful answers come to mind. How to develop the ability to quickly respond adequately?

Experts suggest sharpening your wit in a friendly circle. That is, you meet with friends and start comic duels. A very useful workout for the mind. And the more often you train, the more experience and skill you have.

When you can't be silent or laugh it off

If the offender is trying to offend your honor and dignity, there is no need to remain silent or get off with a joke. Especially if offensive remarks are made in the presence of witnesses. Collect your thoughts and give a worthy answer: calmly, coolly, in a quiet voice. So that everyone understands that you cannot be rude with impunity.

How to avoid becoming a victim

Some people seem to be created to be offended. By the way, in psychology there is even such a thing as the psychology of the victim. The victim person looks and behaves in such a way that he literally provokes insults from all kinds of boors.

Fearfulness, self-doubt, low self-esteem, painful shyness, intimidation - these are the main character traits of this unfortunate man. Hearing swearing addressed to him, he gets scared, becomes numb and cannot bring himself to utter a sound. In this case, a psychologist or independent work on yourself will help.

Rudeness in everyday life is often not only annoying, but also leaves a feeling of powerlessness and anger inside for a long time, especially when you are lost and do not find the right answer in time. This can sometimes have a negative impact on your well-being and spoil your mood for a long time. You shouldn’t even try to be rude in response, since such behavior only inflames and worsens an already difficult situation. But how to respond to rudeness?

Today you can often encounter rude treatment from officials, police officers and doctors, who will not be stopped by the threat of dismissal or any other penalty. If you encounter something similar, the best solution would be to ask the boor in a calm tone to state his last name, first name and patronymic, as well as his position. This, at a minimum, will puzzle the impudent person and, possibly, stop him. Then you can complain to your superiors about inappropriate behavior on the part of this citizen.

Why are people rude

Psychologists have proven that one of the main reasons for boorish attacks on a person (not counting basic bad manners) is the psychological and social failure of the rude person himself. Such individuals are much more likely to become unceremonious insolent people than strong, successful and self-confident people. In addition, boors and rude people of all stripes have a well-developed instinct of self-preservation and will always bypass those who easily fight back.

Most often, the following categories of people become victims of rudeness:

• intelligent and well-mannered;
• having problems with self-esteem;
• lost in conflict situations;
• suspicious of feelings of guilt;
• respectful of other people's feelings.

How to punish a boor

Whatever tactics you choose, remember, the main thing is not WHAT you respond to rudeness, but HOW! The most important qualities in a psychological duel with a boor are inner confidence and composure. Once you get emotional and respond to the aggressor in his own manner, you can consider yourself defeated, and your opponent, sensing your vulnerability, will rub his hands in satisfaction. Excessive vehemence is the direct enemy of argumentation.

“If you grab the zipper instead of answering, it means you’re wrong.”

Pity Tactics - “Bad Day?”

The best way to punish a boor is to show him a feeling of pity. This is the least expected of you, since with his rude behavior he is trying to provoke you into a negative reaction in the form of irritation or a feeling of humiliation. By publicly pitying the insolent person, you will thereby humiliate him in the eyes of others.

For example, what should you do in a situation if someone on the bus is trying to drag you into an ugly quarrel, say, because you accidentally pushed him or stepped on his foot, and the apology you brought to him is clearly not enough? You can respond by expressing regret that he is probably so unhappy and everything is so bad in his life that he behaves like this.

Tactics of polite absurdity - “Out, bunny!”

In order to punish a person who has been brazenly rude to you for rudeness, you should under no circumstances use swear words or swearing, imitating your opponent. The best option would be to agree, to assent, when in a difficult situation the last thing you want is to be a participant in an ugly quarrel or showdown. For example, to the statement that you are clumsy because you push everyone around, you can agree by saying that yes, you are especially awkward today. Then sincerely thank your opponent for “timely constructive criticism.” If, with the help of humor and irony, you skillfully exaggerate what the boor has said, literally bringing it to the point of absurdity, then soon those around you will also begin to laugh at him. Believe me, this is the last thing a boorish person wants.

Allergy tactics - “I wanted to sneeze!”

It is especially effective in a situation where you do not know how to respond to the rudeness of a colleague or even a boss. Listen humbly to the tirade for a while, waiting for the moment when the interlocutor decides that he has completely taken control of the situation and, having caught this moment, sneeze loudly. Then you should apologize and sadly announce your allergy to lies/rudeness/injustice. Next, in the sweetest and most polite tone, offer to continue the reprimand. As a rule, after something like this, the boor retreats immediately.

A very simple tactic. At the moment of the attacker's highest rage, invite him/her to look at himself in the mirror or show his/her reflection if you have one (the mirror) at hand. At the same time, we can say that such agitation is harmful to both appearance and health.

Shock tactics - "Isn't that Queen Victoria?"

In response to your opponent's boorish attacks, ask him a question that will destroy the rude person's standard thinking. For example, ask him about the weather forecast for the next week in Acapulco. Or if he can tell you how the third episode ended.

Ignoring tactics - “I’m too busy doing something...”

The most effective and universal way to combat rudeness is to completely ignore it. Treat a person like empty space. Such neglect will be the best punishment for him.

Rudeness and rudeness cannot be left unanswered, since any inability to vent return frustration on an annoying object leads to manifestation self-aggression threatening the condition, decreased attention and ability to work, and low self-esteem. This does not mean that you must necessarily leave the last word for yourself, but it is worth learning how to masterly resolve conflicts with a feeling of satisfied self-esteem.

Knowing the enemy by sight makes it easier to fight. Is it necessary? Or it’s worth developing a certain tactic of responding (or rather, NOT responding) to insults. When a person deliberately wants to insult you, ask yourself the question - WHY?

Why is he doing this? Does he want to humiliate you in order to elevate himself? Then his action evokes compassion. This is the only way a person can assert himself.

Or he wants to touch your nerves in order to piss you off. For what? He is looking for a lightning rod in you, wants to drain his irritation somewhere.
Always think - why? And only after you understand the root cause and choose a model of your behavior. After all, we cannot be offended, we can only be offended. Sami. This means that such a reaction is the result of his own choice.

Leo Tolstoy also said: “It's all about thoughts. Thought is the beginning of everything. And thoughts can be controlled. And therefore the main task of improvement is to work on thoughts.”

The main groups of fans of insults:

• Losers. Their only way to assert themselves is to belittle the other person.
• These are people who get pleasure and are “energized” by quarrels, scandals, including insults to other people. They feel good when others feel bad.
• Aggressors: people who see everyone as an enemy. To protect themselves, they attack other people first.
• Ill-mannered people for whom the norm is to communicate in the language of insults.

If you immediately begin to react mindlessly after being insulted, your offender will celebrate his victory. FOR WHAT?
Why give him such an opportunity! How do we react to insults? A fool is a fool himself. Is this a familiar picture?
When you see this from the outside, you understand that both are these very stupid people. One, due to lack of upbringing and restraint, allowed himself to do this, and the second, tuning into its destructive wave, accepted the terms of this “game”. Both are worthy of compassion.

Sometimes we receive insults so unexpectedly that we don’t even have time to react positively. Offensive words hurt, they penetrate into the very heart like sharp needles. We don’t know what to say in the first minute, but “after the fight” we come up with a plan for revenge.
Now stop and look at the situation from the outside. Stupid and funny. Wit on the stairs. What are we spending our precious life on! The person has long forgotten about his attack, and you carefully and scrupulously cultivate the seeds of revenge in YOUR soul. And they very systematically destroy you from the inside. FOR WHAT?

If, nevertheless, you understand that it is you who are the master of your thoughts, and not vice versa, stop and imagine the whole situation from space. Are you crying now? Are you offended? What would it look like on a cosmic scale? Insignificant and not worth your nerves. It even becomes funny - such a trifle causes so much worry.
Have you calmed down? Now go to the window and carefully, even in the smallest detail, examine some object outside the window. You switched your attention, took a deep breath and... you felt better.

At first it will not be easy to get rid of destructive thoughts, and resentment will remind itself from time to time.
STOP! Stop the flow of sad thoughts. Drink delicious tea with lemon and honey. Listen to good music.. Watch a comedy. Play with your pets. Switch to a positive wave.

If the offender is a stranger, then you should not be provoked, indulge in mutual accusations and showdowns. The wisest step is to ignore.

It's harder to do this when your boss or co-worker insults you. In this case, it is better to avoid the conflict. If this is your boss and you are still forced to communicate with him, then you will have to develop certain tactics of behavior.
Psychologists recommend first of all to understand what exactly in your work caused such a reaction, to isolate constructive criticism, where exactly you did not complete your work or made a mistake.

The next step is to protect your psyche from verbal “attack.”
There is such a trick. It's called "aquarium". When your boss starts shouting and insulting you in a half-turn, imagine him in an aquarium, like a fish that opens its mouth, but no words can be heard. Such a protective shell greatly helps to abstract oneself. Words, like balls, bounce off without reaching their target.

In general, as far as the boss is concerned, one must act carefully. In this case, before responding to an insult, you need to imagine that in front of you is a small, capricious child. And your task is to calm him down, pat him on the head, caress him and feed him semolina porridge. By placing yourself in such a situation, you will easily endure attacks, meeting them calmly and with a smile. This will also affect the emotional state of the boss.

If you watched the movie "The Matrix", then you remember the moment when Neo stopped the bullets fired at him. Imagine that the rudeness thrown at you is like bullets, and you are invulnerable, and all the rudeness does not reach you, falling with a ringing sound on the floor.

If silence doesn't work, you can respond with a little barb.

“A gentle answer removes malice; hurtful words arouse anger.”
John Ruskin

It’s a good technique, but it requires a certain amount of training and endurance—to respond politely to malicious insults. Or, as a last resort, say calmly: “How ill-mannered and rude you are.”
Sometimes this acts like a tub of cold water on the offender. In any case, you get a pause and can retreat from the battlefield with your head held high.

The worst way to react, in my opinion, is to shout back some nonsense. Of course, in this way you become a twin brother and slide down to the level of this ill-mannered type. But sometimes it helps relieve tension. Especially if you took it two octaves higher.

Helps much better method of releasing negative emotions into the water. Open the tap and simply scream everything that has boiled into the stream of water. How helpful it is! Wash your face with cool water and go get positive emotions. The conflict is over. You turned out to be smarter! Give yourself a high five and try to draw sound conclusions from this situation.

The man showed his true colors. Can you remake it? Thankless work. Either you accept him for who he is, or end your relationship there. The choice is always yours! The main thing is not to fall into the role of a victim.
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We have all heard insults directed at us and, out of surprise, we did not know how to react to them correctly. They started to be rude or cry out of resentment. Below, the psychologist gives some tips on how to intelligently respond to an insult to an offender. Gives examples of phrases that will help you get out of an unpleasant situation gracefully.

First, let's talk about several types of correct reactions to insult.

Calm

PS. We remember that an insult is a negative, deliberate statement of an assessment of a person, which humiliates his honor and dignity. It can be applied orally, in writing and even by gesture. In this case, the target of attacks does not necessarily have to be present in person.
In the Russian Federation, this is punishable in accordance with Art. 5.61 Code of Administrative Offences.

This is one of the first desires that arises after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

• witty;
• happens among family or friends;
• defuses the situation rather than aggravates the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, responding to insult with insult is not the best way. This way you stoop to the level of your boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Make a joke

The difference between a witty insult and a humorous response is that in the latter case, you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if there is one) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and disguise the sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says you prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: “Perhaps you are right. Next time I won’t ask my five-year-old son for help.”

Example 2: A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. There will be something to think about over lunch.”

3. Accept

In some cases, it is actually worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It would be a good idea to think about people's motives and find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your less than angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intent, not words.

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret obvious: designate it.

For example, in response to rude words, say, “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.”

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Stay calm

If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies uncertainty, dissatisfaction with one’s own life and a desire to simply take it out on you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to pursue your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in the person, without paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is no answer. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to. Well, “offline” you can always ignore the insult or leave. You have every right to do this.

An example from ancient Roman history... One day, in a public bath, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: “I don’t remember the blow.”

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: “You are so insignificant that I not only do not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself.”

7. Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offences, but libel is already within the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from your boss, you can contact the HR department.

The main thing is to remember: no one has the right to infringe on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must answer people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.