How to find an approach to people with different temperaments. How to approach a guy

Trying to learn to understand people, to determine their character traits according to any typology, sooner or later you come to a dead end. Sometimes we even become the subject of someone’s manipulation. Or the person we are communicating with suddenly says or does something that was not at all expected from him. And now we don’t know what to do; we feel resentment, bewilderment, and anxiety. I wish I could learn some simple rules to find an approach to people and not make mistakes...

- How can I understand whether a person sincerely wishes me well, is interested in communication, and treats me well? Or does he want to use me, deceive me, assert himself at my expense? so as not to become a victim of your own gullibility or ignorance?

As sad as it is, it happens that, considering a person to be friendly and sincere, we are deceived in him. Sometimes we even become the subject of someone’s manipulation. Or the person we are communicating with suddenly says or does something that was not at all expected from him. And now we don’t know what to do; we feel resentment, bewilderment, and anxiety. It’s not clear why he behaves this way, what’s wrong with him?

I wish I could learn some simple rules so as not to make mistakes in them.

Person's character

For questions about communicating with people, we turn to psychology. And there are many articles and books designed to understand another person, understand his character and develop behavioral tactics. One way or another, they usually try to divide people according to some criteria. For example, we all know the typology of temperament: sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic. Or by personality type: introvert, extrovert, ambivert. According to the perception of information: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, digital, etc. And what does this give us? How does it help to learn to understand people?

Trying to learn to understand people, to determine their character traits according to any typology, sooner or later you come to a dead end. There is no complete picture. Something does not fit together, contradicts one another. The same person behaves one way in some situations, and in others - completely differently. Or some properties of the characteristic accurately describe the interlocutor, but others have absolutely nothing to do with him. And I really want to get some practical guidance on communicating and recognizing others.

We are looking for an approach: about the rules of communicating with people systematically

An accurate method of understanding the psyche is “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan. It examines the differences in the human psyche according to vectors - sets of innate properties, abilities and desires that determine his thinking, life values ​​and aspirations. There are eight such vectors. A person can be the owner of from one to eight, more often - three or four vectors.

Difficulties in communication

It’s not easy if you become an object on which negative emotions are poured out. A representative of the visual vector can throw a hysteria if he is in a bad mental state, namely fears: from literal fear for his life to numerous ones. Accusations of lack of attention and indifference, emotional blackmail and manipulation are used. A person in visual fears unconsciously demands: "Love me! I feel bad, I’m afraid - protect me!”

Such a person vitally needs emotional connections with other people. Potentially, the owners of the visual vector are kind, sympathetic, and sensitive. They are able to realize all their sensory resources in art, raising children, and caring for those in need. But when a person with a visual vector is not able to build emotional intimacy, does not reveal his sensuality with others, then he himself becomes a victim of his unspent emotions.

Difficulties in communication

During communication, it is difficult to get rid of the feeling that the interlocutor does not care about you: he looks somewhere through you, or, rather, inside himself, speaks quietly, sometimes understated, as if he had already thought it up for himself, and sees no point in explaining it to you. It is unpleasant to feel like an empty place when communicating with such egocentrics. They may easily not answer at all if the subject of the conversation does not seem worth their attention to them. Or even show hostility and arrogance.

The bottom line is that the owner of the sound vector is of little interest in everyday topics. His mind is focused on uncovering global abstract issues: “What is the meaning of life?”, “Who am I and what is my purpose?”, “Where did we come from and where are we going?”. In the course of his eternal search, these questions are modified and take on a particular form, which is manifested, for example, in the study of exact sciences, inventive research, writing, philosophical or religious research. In the modern world, the main interests of sound engineers are Internet technologies and psychology.

Such a person needs concentration and silence. Therefore, he appears aloof, indifferent and silent. An endless stream of thoughts in search of the meaning of existence removes him from petty, pressing conversations. His dislike of noise and loud voices is due to his particularly sensitive hearing. Remember: sometimes he needs to be alone with his ideas.

The rules for communicating with people of this type include limiting conversations “about nothing.” Get to the heart of the issue that needs to be resolved without being distracted by empty talk.

Touchy but fair people

We often come across people like this: they speak and do everything slowly, thoroughly, efficiently, even pedantically, and are very erudite. They like to talk about the past: “Where is the world going? Nowadays..." Also frequent topics of conversation are family, home, making something with your own hands, justice. In general, they give the impression of honest, decent, open people, maybe a little simple-minded, but endearing. All these are qualities characteristic of.

Difficulties in communication

Owners of the anal vector are stubborn debaters, straightforward, ready to cut the truth without caring about the feelings of their opponent. Some may harass you with lectures or criticism. And if they are offended, they are unlikely to forget about it: they will not fail to remind you on occasion or even take revenge.

The owners of this vector gravitate towards justice and equality - everything should be smooth for them. And in relationships it’s like this: good things will be repaid, bad things will not be tolerated. If they themselves treat someone unfairly, they will feel guilty. When they were not treated as they should be, they feel it.

If such a person is offended by you, apologize, apologize - he will forgive, because in this case his internal balance will be restored. During a conversation, you should not rush him or interrupt him - it is useless, otherwise he will start again. If you want to please him, ask for his advice and competent opinion.

The ability to understand a person with an anal vector should not be superficial. It is also necessary to distinguish his condition - this can change everything. Who is in front of you: the best husband and father or a potential sadist? All the subtleties of the anal vector can be learned at the free online training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.

Secretive people

There must be a lot of people around you who are of a different type: they speak briefly, succinctly, and generally don’t like to be frank about themselves - they would prefer to get information from you. The subject of their conversations is, one way or another, profit, benefit, their ambitions. For them, time is money. They can be very resourceful and adapt to changing conditions. These are representatives.

Difficulties in communication

If the owner of the skin vector is developed psychologically and is not in a stressful state, then he is organized, collected, and gives the impression of a real manager. Otherwise, not having sufficient self-discipline, but not losing the desire to limit others, he may throw in inadequate prohibitions: “No! You can’t!”, and when you encounter resistance, you can even make a row. He is no longer distinguished by composure and precision, but by flickering. The natural desire to save and optimize when the properties of the vector are underdeveloped or unrealized manifests itself in greed and pettiness, the pursuit of discounts and freebies.

If you were a victim of someone's deception or fraud, then the offender was most likely a representative of the skin vector in poor conditions. However, these same people are potentially born legislators and servants of order.

When communicating with owners of this vector, you should not go into details: they value their time. Topics for conversation include career, financial well-being, healthy lifestyle, sports, technical innovations, etc. Learning to understand people of this type will not be such a difficult task if you systematically know what motivates them.

Communication at a new level

The reason we suffer when communicating with people is a lack of understanding of their nature. The behavior of others will cease to be an annoying mystery, you just have to understand their mental properties, aspirations and problems.

By understanding the psyche, you will begin to feel more sympathy for others. And hostility towards others will no longer poison your life. Communication with people will be a joy. You will no longer be negatively affected by the manifestations of your interlocutor:

excessive emotionality and mood swings,

indifference and aloofness,

arrogance,

touchiness,

stubbornness,

pretense,

inadequate demands and others.

Does it seem surprising that you can find an approach to people with any character? Yuri Burlan's training confirms this:

Find out more about the properties and characteristics of human behavior on.

Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

Most employees would like their managers to be polite, patient, self-possessed, competent, etc. Those less fortunate complain sadly that their bosses are disorganized, inconsistent, unfair, etc. What to do? There is a way out, and not even just one. The better you can understand your manager, the easier it will be for you to adapt to their working style, and the less time and effort this process will take. You can offer a fairly universal approach to the “wrong” boss, which can repeatedly help you out in various situations.

What kind of leader would you like to see?

• polite;
• friendly:
• patient;
• moderately demanding;
• good at explaining;
• fair;
• seasoned;
• competent;
• encouraging initiative;
• delegating, etc.

Those less fortunate complain sadly that their bosses:

• unorganized;
• those who do not understand;
• inaccessible;
• inconsistent;
• unfair;
• dissatisfied, etc.

What to do? There is a way out, and not even just one. After all, you can:

1. do nothing;
2. change the leader;
3. influence the leader, trying to change him;
4. change your attitude and behavior.

Each option has its own advantages and difficulties.

1. Do nothing and continue working. This approach is relatively safe from the point of view of keeping your job: if you don’t resist, you won’t be fired. Sometimes this approach may be chosen deliberately, for “political” reasons. At the same time, such inaction has two significant disadvantages:

• lack of potential for our professional development;
• a threat to your physical and psychological state if the boss’s “wrongness” becomes unbearable.

2. Change the leader. Indeed, there are times when you have to do this. But weren't you too hasty with such a radical decision? Have you used every possible method to establish contact with your manager? Did you try to understand him and help him and yourself in some other way? It’s not easy, it’s easier to leave, but by stepping aside, you’re unlikely to add anything to your treasury of knowledge and skills. There is only one piece of advice: do not rush, reasonably assess the seriousness of the problem and your readiness to leave, as well as the consequences of such a decision.

3. Influence the manager, trying to change him. Managing a manager, no matter how strange it may sound, is another area of ​​an employee’s activity, in addition to managing work processes. Here we are not talking about manipulating a leader to serve his own interests. Managing a boss means:

• help him organize his work;
• help overcome difficulties;
• save his time;
• understand what he needs;
• show reasonable initiative;
• propose solutions;
• encourage delegation;
• be in the right place at the right time.

4. Change your attitude and behavior. You shouldn’t rush to re-educate the “wrong” boss and make him the “right” one, and even more so, don’t give up everything and go looking for the ideal boss (success in this matter is not at all guaranteed). It would be wiser to start with yourself, by adapting your work style and behavior.

4.1. Step one: look from the outside. To begin, try to find answers to the following questions:.

• If our boss became the boss, then most likely it’s for a reason. How did this happen?
• What are his advantages and strengths?
• Is the unit functioning successfully under his leadership?
• What can you learn from your manager?
• Is the problem in your relationship really that serious against the overall positive background?

At this stage, it is very important not to get carried away by accusations and labeling, to distance yourself from momentary experiences and focus on objective data. If you succeed, then it is quite possible that you may find yourself happy with the new situation.

4.2. Step two: do the “tuning”. At this stage, you will have to seriously work on yourself, since we are directly talking about your adaptation to the manager’s management style. This requires a deeper process of getting to know your boss:

• What are his goals, priorities and preferences?
• Why does he act this way and not otherwise?
• How organized is it?
• What does he greet?
• What doesn't he like?
• How does he express his feelings and intentions?

The better you can understand your manager, the easier it will be for you to adapt to their working style, and the less time and effort this process will take.

Going to the “wrong” boss

You can offer a fairly universal approach to the “wrong” boss, which can repeatedly help you out in various situations.

1. Identify his management style and accept it. Experience shows that the most common management styles are two: authoritarian and democratic.

• The authoritarian style can be recognized, for example, by the following characteristics: sole decision-making, great distance, requirement of super-discipline, intolerance to objections, communication in the form of orders and directions, preference for punishment over rewards. This management style will require the assistant to strictly follow standards and instructions, maintain subordination, be highly organized and restrained. In difficult cases, such a quality as stress resistance will come in handy.
• A democratic boss, on the contrary, is open to communication, ready to listen to different opinions, expects reasonable discipline, encourages initiative, and combines motivation methods. An assistant to such a manager needs to use all the advantages of a democratic style to increase the efficiency of his work and personal professional development, but not abuse the freedom provided.

2. Find out his expectations and meet them. One of the most common mistakes is to rely on guesswork. A lack of information can lead to wrong decisions, including an erroneous assessment of the manager’s expectations, and as a result, to erroneous actions.

The simplest and most reliable way to find out what your manager expects from you and your work is to ask him! As Confucius said, he who asks questions may seem stupid only for a moment, but he who asks nothing is doomed to remain stupid for the rest of his life. Only ask the right questions.

3. Respond constructively to criticism. Receptivity to feedback is an important element of the perception process. Messages coming from the manager can be divided into three groups:

• positive: satisfaction, recognition of successes and abilities, good news;
• neutral: information, instructions, directions, requests;
• negative: criticism.

It's easy to respond to the first two groups of messages. One can only rejoice and be grateful for the positive ones. Information and instructions should be listened to carefully and written down, highlighting the essential points.

The greatest difficulty for reaction is the critic, since no one is right to listen to dissatisfied remarks about his work. A constructive response to criticism must necessarily contain a solution to the problem. If a subordinate limits himself to justifications and apologies like: “Sorry, I don’t even know how it happened...”, then this is not what the manager expects. If the criticism is fair and the reason for it is your actual mistakes, then the only correct course of action would be:

• acknowledge the validity of criticism;
• say what you intend to do to correct the situation;
• Assure the manager that you will not allow this situation to happen again in the future.

If the criticism is vague, you should first express an understanding of the manager’s attitude, then ask the necessary clarifying questions to clarify the essence and finally correct the situation.

4. Understand what he doesn't like and don't do it.. Our bosses may not like many things:

• being late;
• inadequate appearance of the assistant;
• disorder in the workplace;
• complaints;
• gossip and talking “behind your back”;
• unjustified waste of time.

They don't like it even more when something they don't like is repeated over and over again. Therefore, be professional: adhere to the work standards set by the company. Be observant: pay attention to direct and indirect remarks and comments from your manager and his non-verbal reactions that apply not only to you, but also to other employees. Draw conclusions and do not repeat your own or others’ mistakes.

5. Be loyal and respectful. Any manager has the right to count on the loyalty of his employee, on his willingness to help out in difficult situations, and to protect his reputation. In some cases, it is the requirement for loyalty that may prevail over all other competencies. Loyalty is one of the foundations of trust. Show respect for the leader: his status, reputation, opinion (even if you do not agree with him), management style (even if you have not yet managed to get used to it).

“Special order”: for those for whom the previous steps did not help

“This is all wonderful, but it won’t suit me. My boss is special...” Then perhaps special tactics for special bosses will be useful to you.

1. Silent (does not give feedback):

• ask yourself if he is satisfied with your work;
• clarify tasks and deadlines;
• ask for approval of the work plan;
• do not lower the quality standards for completing tasks.

2. Unavailable (too busy):

• discuss the situation with the manager, focusing primarily on his interests, and suggest a method of communication;
• if you need to receive a response (confirmation, instructions, etc.), write about it, describing the possible consequences if there is no response by a certain date;
• if there is still no answer, fill the leadership vacuum yourself: make decisions yourself, but keep him informed;
• communicate your decision in writing in advance, before you begin to implement it: “I have drawn up a plan for project X and, if you have no objections, I will begin implementing it tomorrow”;
• Send copies of your performance reports to other involved employees.

3. Secretive (does not share information):

• tell or write to him what information you need and why, arguing your request primarily with his interests;
• let us know about the possible consequences of your information “inadequacy”;
• use email to begin the information exchange process;
• if there is still no information and the question is urgent, make a decision yourself;
• be sure to warn about this: “If you cannot answer me by 16 o’clock, I, with your permission, will do the following...”;
• do what you are told to do.

4. Disorganized (doesn’t have time, forgets, doesn’t finish):

• convince him to keep you informed of his affairs;
• prove your organization;
• communicate more often;
• record and analyze everything that happens due to a failed organization: what, when and why happened and what led to it;
• propose to streamline the procedures: provision of documents for signature, a general system for storing documents, a system for transmitting information, etc.;
• encourage delegation: offer to do part of his work;
• place before his eyes visual means of planning and visual control: planners with color symbols, project status charts, a file cabinet of current affairs, master lists, etc.;
• help: remind, check, clarify, warn.

Whatever your leaders are, they have the right to count on you, your support and your professionalism.

Mapina Albertovna Oplova- trainer-consultant at the Apcenal school of managers, member of the International Association of Professional Administrators, expert at the Elitarium distance education center

Do you know how to understand people? Are you able to find a common language and mutual understanding even with those who are completely different from you?

They often say: “Another person’s soul is darkness.” But actually it is not!

Both in the appearance and in the behavior of each person you can see many signs and signals that indicate what his true essence is. When we do not know how to “read” these signs and signals, the first, and not only the first, impression of a person often misleads us. And then disappointments, resentments and belated bitter insights arise: “How wrong I was about him!”

We are all very different, the diversity of human individualities is truly inexhaustible. In addition, a person's character can manifest itself in many different ways, and in these manifestations not everything is what it seems. People, consciously or unconsciously, can wear all kinds of masks. People sometimes feel one thing and say another. Facial expression, smile, and behavior can be deceptive. This does not always mean that people are hypocritical; much more often it is a consequence of an unconscious desire to protect themselves from the outside world. All this prevents us from understanding each other, but the truth is that without such understanding it is impossible to establish normal constructive contacts with other people. And without constructive communication with others like themselves, a person in the modern world is simply not able to survive.

Understanding another person means finding the only correct approach to him. When you read this book, the expressions “I don’t understand him”, “He’s kind of strange”, “I don’t know how to approach him”, etc. will disappear from your vocabulary. You will learn to understand a variety of people, with different characters, beliefs, life values. You will be able to see the essence behind external manifestations, see what is not striking, and even what some people would prefer to hide. For someone who knows the special secrets of a person’s behavior and appearance, who knows how to find the right approach to help another open up, there are no and cannot be secrets.

How to approach someone who seems unapproachable? How to find out what is hidden behind appearances? How to win over even the most unfriendly-looking person? How to convince another that you are right? This is not all as difficult as it seems at first glance. With a little necessary knowledge and experience, you will learn how to pick up the keys for any person in any situation.

Picking up the keys to a person does not mean using him for your own purposes and manipulating him. No, the methods proposed here are completely ethical and do not contradict the norms of morality and ethics. Finding the key to a person means doing a good service to both yourself and him. After all, by understanding the strengths and weaknesses of another, the motives of his actions, his true goals and objectives, you will be able to build mutually beneficial communication with him, and this will only benefit everyone. On the other hand, you can easily, without problems, get away from unnecessary or simply harmful contacts, because you will learn to easily recognize hidden enemies, ill-wishers or those who waste your time and energy.

In this book you will find thirty simple tips, which will teach you:

♦ understand the diversity of human individualities;

♦ solve the mysteries of human character and behavior;

♦ understand the strengths and weaknesses, goals and motives of another person;

♦ find the most appropriate ways to interact with different people;

♦ win over people and achieve the goals you need in communication.

These tips simple but extremely effective. After all, they are based on the latest achievements of practical psychology and other human sciences. The main thing is to be confident in your abilities, do not be afraid of anything, and very soon you will become a real expert on human souls.

I wish you success!

Every time you are about to enter into communication with any person, imagine that a soft, warm light is shining inside you. And your eyes give off a warm glow, as if a light bulb is on in your head.

To be able to pick up the keys to any person and establish contact, first of all, you yourself must be ready for this contact. Remaining internally closed, wary and unsociable, one can hardly count on the success of communication. This does not mean that you need to open your soul to every first person you meet, trust everyone indiscriminately and let anyone into your life. The task is different - while remaining yourself, maintaining the inviolability of the boundaries of your living territory, learn to create for yourself and others a comfortable environment that is most conducive to communication. To do this, you will only have to practice a little in creating the appropriate internal mood and learn the secrets of effective interaction with other people.

Get the benefits early on

Pay attention to what kind of people everyone, without exception, is unconsciously drawn to. Those that seem to radiate warmth and light. This can be learned.

And at the same time, it is not at all necessary to constantly smile and portray cordiality on your face.

When it’s as if a small flashlight is burning inside you, even people who don’t know you instantly feel that you are a person who is open to communication and friendly, that communicating with you, firstly, is pleasant, and secondly, safe. This way you immediately remove barriers and wariness between you and your interlocutor. We can say that by your very appearance you are already helping him get rid of tension, relax and calmly, with trust, accept what you say. Do you feel what advantages this gives you at the very beginning of contact?

Be open yet protected

The main thing is to ignite this inner light consciously and learn to control it. Then your goodwill, openness and inner warmth in communication will be your strength and will never turn into your vulnerability. Many people want to take advantage of an open and friendly person, mistaking his openness for weakness. If you manage your inner state, control yourself, then your inner light will not at all prevent you from standing up for yourself if necessary, but, on the contrary, will only help in this. Because this inner glow, in addition to everything, also protects you from unwanted influences. With a little practice, you will notice that your inner light allows you to maintain not only a great mood in any situation, but also a sober, clear head that will accurately tell you how to direct the dialogue in the right direction.

Workshop

Practice alone with yourself first. Imagine that your eyes are like light bulbs, emitting light. Look at the world around you with these eyes. Try not to “pull” a smile and generally maintain a normal facial expression. If a smile arises by itself, allow it to arise, but only if it happens completely naturally, without the control of your will.

Then imagine light filling your entire body. Now rays of light come not only from the eyes, but also from the heart. Maintain this state for as long as you can.

When you can do this quite easily, practice turning on the interior light somewhere in a crowded place, for example on the street or in transport. See if other people's reactions to you change.

Try to turn on the inner light and, keeping it, talk to some stranger - a saleswoman, a minibus driver or a random passer-by (from whom you can ask about the time or clarify the route of your movement). Remember: you don’t need to demonstrate anything on purpose, you don’t need to try to give your face a friendly expression or your voice an ingratiating intonation. All you need is to turn on the inner light.

We often hear from friends that bosses are bad people, they don’t value their employees, and in general, it’s time to look for a new job. And the boss himself, probably at the same moment, taking off his socks and rolling his eyes, tells his wife that finding worthy employees is becoming more and more difficult. What to do in such difficult relations with management - write a statement or look for a solution to the problem? Astro7 experts talked about how to establish relationships with your bosses absolutely peacefully and run up the career ladder under the leadership of the big boss. To do this, it is enough to find out the type of leader and find the right approach to him.

Emperor

In most cases, this is a middle-aged choleric man. He wears expensive business suits with the carelessness characteristic of confident people. He makes decisions unanimously, because he is not just the head of the company, but also its owner. For him, the employees who are on his staff are just the nuts and bolts of a machine. Bolts and nuts that can be changed at the first malfunction.

The Emperor is not easy to endure. There is no point in going ahead with your ideas. Even if they promise millions in profit for the company, the undertakings will be criticized “to smithereens.” Don't take too much initiative. Remember, the emperor is the only person in the company who has the right to make decisions. If you absolutely cannot give up your own idea, agree on everything with the emperor. Go slow and quiet.

Feudal lord

This is a sanguine person under 45 years of age. He is calm and balanced. A true liberal with progressive views on life and work. The feudal lord “will not stoop” to total control over his employees; he will not check their mail or look at the computer monitor. Despite this democratic approach, any jokes behind his back or displays of insubordination will be severely punished. After an apparent lull, an explosion will occur. It will be almost impossible to return the relationship to the previous level of trust.

Propose ideas and argue with the feudal lord, but respect the chain of command. Do not take any steps that could undermine the authority of the leader in the eyes of other subordinates.

Looking

This is a phlegmatic person, usually over 40 years old. His characteristic feature is concern for the team. He is interested not only in what is happening at work, but also in the household affairs of his subordinates. He believes that the team is a friendly team of like-minded people that will lead any business to prosperity.

Despite the fact that many people speak on first-name terms with such a leader, do not relax. A manager is not a close friend, but a person who controls the work of his employees. A person on whom career growth and salary depend. It’s not worth telling this type of manager the details of your life outside of work, because one morning he simply won’t want to listen to exciting stories and will seriously think about finding a replacement. Just communicate as equals, without getting personal, and do all the work on time.

One among strangers

A young man, sanguine, under 35 years old. Holds the position of department head or middle manager. Active and energetic. He is able to quickly navigate a work situation and make decisions, and tries with all his might to improve the work of the team entrusted to his management. Despite the fact that such a leader is close to the team, he tries to stay a little aloof. Likes to create rules that he knows how to follow. It’s not surprising, because he is young and ambitious.

The main mistake that subordinates of such a leader make is perceiving him as an enemy or adversary. If you are asked to do something, try to do it “perfectly.” Rest assured, an ambitious leader will appreciate this and take note. If you have personal problems that prevent you from completing your tasks, don’t be afraid to talk about them out loud. Just don't abuse the trust of management.

Lazy person

This is an inactive melancholic person who does not know how to make decisions and prefers to hide behind the backs of his own subordinates or deputies. He may appear at the company very rarely and only to check whether the office in which his work book is located has not yet burned down. The lazy person prefers not to delve into the problems of the team and production processes.

Remember, the basic rule that this type of management likes remains the rule “low effort, high profit.” If you have a couple of similar ideas, try to catch management at the workplace and propose a plan for their implementation. When describing prospects, use more beautiful numbers and adjectives. Even if the idea doesn’t catch on, you will be singled out from the crowd.

Charismatic

As a rule, this is a young woman or man aged 30−40 years. Choleric. Such a leader looks good and dresses stylishly, with a friendly smile never leaving his face. Despite the fact that subordinates know absolutely nothing about the personal life and passions of management, they respect and love him. A charismatic person knows how to make decisions and resolve all work issues before they enter a critical phase.

For successful career growth, it is enough to “catch the wave.” By becoming a mirror image of the manager, in the future you will be able to get a good position and salary. Smile and be active, take care of your own appearance and business wardrobe. From your colleagues, this may look like classic “licking up,” but here you have to choose what is more important: your career or the approval of your colleagues.

Instructions

First of all, a man must be confident in himself. It is next to such a companion that a woman will feel comfortable. However, it is very important not to confuse character traits such as self-confidence and arrogance. These are two completely different things. You just need to put aside shyness and be decisive. Plus, you don't need to look away from it.

Good manners play a very important role. Girls are pleased if their boyfriend does not swear in their presence, offers his hand when exiting a vehicle, or does not raise his voice. Banal rules of etiquette have never harmed anyone. In addition, girls value qualities such as responsibility and punctuality. A man must be responsible not only for his actions, but also for his family. An irresponsible person cannot be trusted and cannot be relied upon. And you definitely can’t build without trust.

It would not be amiss to remind you that girls value grooming and neatness. Therefore, before your next meeting, you need to carefully examine your reflection in the mirror. Shoes should be clean, things ironed, hair well-groomed. Sloppy people turn off real ladies.

Girls like those who are in demand among the fairer sex. It is important to show your chosen one that many people are interested in you, but she is the only one who is truly necessary and interesting. It is equally important to please her friends. But in no case should you be with them, just try to evoke positive emotions in them.

But most of all, girls value originality. There must be something in you that is not in others. This is what you should " " . Anyone can be extraordinary. Your distinctive quality may well be romanticism, erudition, or even the ability to “blow the roof off.”

Sources:

• how to find a girl younger than yourself

Men often wonder: how to find an approach to girls, with their unique character, temperament, habits, peculiarities of upbringing? What will delight one representative of the fairer sex will not inspire the second at all, and may anger and even shock the third. Therefore, the answer to this question cannot be simple.

Instructions

Yes, every woman is unique and inimitable. However, when communicating with the fair sex, follow the general rules. First of all, forget, like a bad dream, both the “instructions” of Lieutenant Rzhevsky, and Baikov’s phrase from V. Bogomolov’s story “Zosya”: “Cities are taken with courage, and women with insolence.” Believe me, this does not always happen. It often happens that a woman reacts very coolly to both outright impudence and demonstrative male self-confidence. Excessive timidity and shyness, however, are also not too favored. Therefore, if you like a woman and want to achieve reciprocity, try to immediately impress her.

Think about how you can stand out from the general male background so that she pays attention to you. The most ideal option is to perform some heroic or simply brave act in front of her eyes. But in reality, you can wait too long for a reason for this, so you will have to act differently. Spur your imagination, do something extraordinary, make her heart beat excitedly. You will not regret.

Remember that women attach great importance to cleanliness, hygiene, and neatness. Therefore, a man dressed even modestly but neatly in spotlessly clean shoes, clean-shaven and with a neat haircut will certainly evoke positive emotions in a lady.

Do not forget that a woman instinctively views any man who at least somehow attracts her attention as a husband and father of the family. Well, that’s how it’s been done since ancient times. It is clear that “you can’t order your heart” and “love is evil.” But still, try to behave in such a way that the lady does not have even a shadow of doubt: this man is reliable, responsible, you can rely on him. Such a person, if he starts a family, will remember and take care of her.

Well, so much has already been said about the magical power of attentions, compliments and gifts that only an extremely stupid man would not resort to this. Believe me, a woman has not yet been born who will not experience the pleasure of words of admiration, of having a door opened for her or presented with bouquets of flowers. However, if your chosen one is a zealous feminist, such elements of courtship can be omitted.

If you are a single man or a young man, then perhaps you are looking for a partner. Online dating often only brings disappointment, because we imagine a person completely differently before the first meeting. It’s much more effective to meet a girl in a public place and chat right away. But in order for a stranger to even start talking to you, she needs to be hooked with something.

Instructions

When you approach, be sure to say hello. This is common courtesy. The following phrase should interest you girl. And a trivial question about time or weather will not work here. Come up with something original, even if it doesn’t fit the situation.

Look at her appearance, find something that speaks about her life. If you see notebooks in her hands, a tube, or her hands are stained with ink, ask a question about the start date of winter. If she is wearing sportswear, ask how long it takes her to run a hundred meters. Even if there is nothing in her appearance that would allow you to guess about her life, ask questions that concern her personally. If her nails are painted, ask how long it takes for her to redo her manicure. When you see her shoe is tall, ask how many centimeters it is.

Most will answer the question. Further develop the topic. Ask more questions about herself. Don't forget about compliments. Just give up the stamps. For example, if you tell a girl that she is beautiful, the result will not be very good. But ask her a question about what holiday she is going to if she looks so amazing now - and you can count on her benevolent smile.

Don't look appraisingly, don't look at her cleavage and she will consider you special. Look into her eyes with a degree of admiration. Don't rush to ask for her phone number or negotiate. Your goal is to hook her so that she herself wants to leave you her coordinates in the evening.

Use your knowledge of body language. The toes of your shoes should point towards her. Use only open poses, do not cross your arms or legs. Match her breathing rhythm. Repeat her gestures. All these simple tricks work on a subconscious level, the girl will sympathize with you unconsciously.

Find out her hobby. To do this, you can jump from topic to topic. Once you've decided what she's interested in, talk and ask questions in that area. If you have free time, you can immediately invite her to a cafe (or restaurant, depending on your financial capabilities) and continue communicating there in the same style. Take contacts only after a long (if possible) conversation. Ask a question about her phone number only after you are sure that you were able to hook her girl.

Video on the topic

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Don't start dating a girl if you look unkempt.

Helpful advice

Smile. After all, a smile will tell her that you are pleased to be in her company.

Girls are beautiful creatures that surround us everywhere. However, they often bring another surprise along with their attractiveness and charisma. This is speech, diluted with swear words.

Instructions

Ask yourself a couple of important questions, which, unfortunately, you won’t answer right away, but you will understand what’s going on, where the roots come from.
Think about how others see you? Do they like specific speech? Would you like it if the disdainful attitude was directed in your direction?

A girl who uses profanity is disgusting. After all, you are a future mother, what kind of example will your children take from you? Imagine meeting a guy, and you, in fact, communicate as usual. Your speech will push him kilometers away from you. Ruin the entire first impression and completely discourage the desire for something more.
The male half of the population, when communicating with girls, must understand that in front of them is a fragile and tender lady, they need to take care of her and delight her with pleasant surprises. And when a girl swears, such desires do not arise. Men communicate on the same level, forgetting about who is standing in front of them.
It depends on your environment whether you swear or not.
Scientists believe that constant use of swear words leads to hormonal imbalance in the body. In women, there is an increased amount of male hormones in the body.
I advise you to think about it! You shouldn't joke with such things.

Take time to enrich your inner world. Read more newspapers, books, political news, whatever. The main thing is that the chosen activity is enjoyable. You can find swear words in the works of art of some writers, but it is used in the speech of uneducated lyrical characters.
After all, when a child grows and develops, he wants to imitate the actions and speech of adults, so if you do not want your child to use profanity in the future, try to make sure that he does not hear it at all.

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Pay attention to the speech of your surroundings. Listen and think about people's individual phrases. If a person reads books or is passionate about lyrics, then you will immediately understand this.

Helpful advice

The result depends primarily on the effort you put in.

Those born under the sign of Scorpio are considered mysterious and dangerous people. These are strong personalities who know their worth very well and never lower the level of their aspirations. To find an approach and win a Scorpio woman, stock up on self-confidence and patience.

Features of the Scorpio sign

Scorpio is one of the three water signs. However, unlike Cancers and Pisces, the water of stinging creatures is stagnant, mysterious and alluring. Scorpios are full of dangers, obsessions and carefully select the people they literally allow to be around.

Scorpio girls have a bright appearance. At first they may seem nice and quiet, but the interpretation of their inconspicuous behavior is completely different: Scorpios simply look closely at a person, trying to figure out his weaknesses. So that, if necessary, you can “sting” there.

With all their cunning and cunning, Scorpios rarely go on the attack. It is easier for them to forget the offender, to ignore him, rather than to enter into an open conflict. However, Scorpios have a love of ridicule.

Scorpios prefer to hide their emotions from others. Only if you are trustworthy will the girl be frank with you. It’s always hot around Scorpio beauties: their natural charm and charisma attract many men. But girls of this sign prefer to restrain their sexual energy and do not waste time on trifles.

Scorpio woman: how to win her affection?

To find an approach to a Scorpio woman, you first need to attract her attention. You should be a cheerful, charming person who can interest her with your conversations and actions. You must have an excellent sense of humor and be able to laugh at yourself.

Scorpios carefully “check” those they plan to let close to them. Be prepared to deal with constant ridicule and caustic remarks. However, do not stoop to rudeness: in this case, you will not see the girl.

Remember: a Scorpio woman cannot be attracted by flattery. She is very sensitive and will instantly sense lies in words. Another thing is sincere compliments that have little to do with her appearance. Note her achievements, professional successes, acquired skills.

Scorpio girls are partial to a certain type of gift. They consider standard flowers/teddy bears to be cute and tasteless. But they have a completely different attitude towards high-quality handicrafts made of leather, wood, stones, etc. Beauties also adore souvenirs with ethnic motifs and interesting erotic items.

Scorpio women are possessive. This applies to both relationships and friendships. They will try in every possible way to “catch” you, bombarding you with compromising questions. The best tactics in this case: do not give the girl a reason not to trust you.

Scorpio girls are characterized by increased sexuality. Some people jokingly say that all the existing bed “perversions” were invented by this particular sign. Don't put pressure on your chosen one if it's about bed. But when she herself declares her desire, don’t get lost and don’t delay. You will experience amazingly high-quality and effective sex.

Finding a job during a crisis becomes difficult. To find work quickly, an integrated approach is needed: studying and searching for vacancies immediately in all possible ways will help you find a suitable job in a shorter time.