Should a child be punished for bad grades? I made a terrible mistake by telling my daughter to be an excellent student.

The long-awaited holidays are approaching for most schoolchildren.

Your baby has grown up imperceptibly, and now he is no longer a baby or a funny preschooler, but almost an adult, respectable person - a schoolboy. I bought a school uniform and the best backpack, a stack of notebooks, pens, pencils and a whole bunch of other necessary things. And are you looking forward to the fact that your child will delight his parents with A’s every day? It cannot be otherwise: after all, your child is the smartest, most developed, quick-witted and well-read!

When suddenly... Out of the blue, twos appear in the diary. And you are at a loss: how can this be? What to do? Scold, punish, deal with the teacher?

We will give some advice from a psychologist on what to do if a child brings bad grades:

Tip #1 First of all - calm down. Not a single person has yet managed to do without twos. Remember the most important thing: you cannot scold, let alone punish, for bad grades. Why? Because this will not help get rid of the problem, but it will show the child that parents cannot be trusted, and next time he will try to hide the mark he received. And over time, he will learn to hide other problems from you. Do you need it?

If twos appear in your child’s diary occasionally, then there is no need to worry at all. Such occasional bad grades can be considered an accident: it doesn’t happen to anyone!

Tip #2 If you see a clear deterioration on the academic front, try to understand the situation. Maybe the school curriculum is too difficult for the child? This happens more often than one might think. In this case, think about additional classes. A similar result occurs in the case, on the contrary, of an overly easy program for a child whose level of development is ahead of the knowledge offered by the school. He is simply bored doing what he has known for a long time, and deuces can appear as a result of negligence.

Tip #3 Another option is plain laziness. Well, your child is also a person and has the right to be lazy. Try to control how he does his homework, check it every evening for a while. Maybe I’ll have to sit with him over the textbooks and explain something. This method will also help if a student simply does not understand a topic and has difficulties.

Tip #4 A good way out would be the right motivation. Explain to your child that the knowledge he receives in elementary school is the basis for all future studies, and if he doesn’t take his studies seriously now, he will have a very hard time in high school. Don’t threaten, but calmly say that if you receive a report card with bad grades, you will have to cancel the long-awaited summer trip: it must be earned. And don’t be afraid to keep your promise if the child fails. Let him realize: he has entered adulthood, canceling a trip is not a punishment, but a confirmation of the truth that everything good must be earned.

Tip #5 It may also happen that the student does not have a good relationship with the teacher. Here parents must make every effort to “resolve” the situation with the teacher. Talk to your child, find out the reason, try to understand the essence - who is right and who is not so right. It would also be useful to have a conversation with the teacher - alone or at a parent-teacher meeting, depending on the circumstances. Just don’t get ready for “war”! Show your diplomatic skills.

Your goal is not to discourage your child from learning and not to suppress his faith in himself. Demand, but don’t shout or scold. Explain that you are ready to provide any help that is required of you.

Yes, about anything - that the child already knows the program, that this subject is not interesting to him, that it is poorly taught...

Yes, about anything - that the child already knows the program, that this subject is not interesting to him, that it is poorly taught... But definitely not about the real level of knowledge.

There is a school stereotype: to succeed in life, you need to be an excellent student, or at least a good student. On the other hand, we hear the names of famous personalities who were poor students: Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, Alexander Pushkin, finally.

Today we will talk about the first meeting of the “Mythbusters” with experts and psychologists, parents and schoolchildren, which was held by career guidance service "Profilum" to understand : What should schools and parents do with C students?

Parents' attitudes toward the grades their children receive at school are ambiguous. Some people think that C grades are bad, others are confident that C students will make up the future creative class. Schoolchildren are often told that bad grades, including Cs, will become an obstacle in life: you will do poorly on the Unified State Exam, you will not get into a good university, and it is unclear how you will live in the future. Is it really?

Stories of two Dimas

Dima, graduated from school several years ago:

In middle and elementary school, everything was very smooth, but in high school, teachers and parents had great difficulty in explaining how this or that knowledge would be useful to me in the future. To any questions they answered me “this will be needed at the university” or “this is necessary.” Fortunately, my high school was specialized; we were taught programming and algorithms at the 1st-2nd year university level. These subjects were taught by a specialist from a real company, and it was very easy for me to work with him, I understood why all this was needed. There was also useless knowledge, for example, in geography we studied the economy of Sudan. Why do I need it?

Second-grader Dima doesn’t like anything at school at all, and that’s why he goes to school “so as not to upset his mother.”

Mom of second-grader Dima:

I transferred my son to another class where the tasks are less. But, unfortunately, Dima lost the desire to study, because the class was much weaker, and the program had already been completed. We partially solved the problem of interest in learning through playful learning at home. Dima learns everything very well in a playful way.

The role of school is changing

These are just two examples of why children can get bad grades, including compromised Cs. School grades are only an indirect indicator of knowledge. The real problem is the lack of motivation to learn the material. In this case, parents are looking for an opportunity to give their child the best education and to approach this issue in a non-standard way.

Mark Sartan, Head of the Center for the Development of Educational Systems "Smart School"

The school must respond to parents' requests. Do we have a choice today about which school to send our children to? Actually no! Therefore, parents have to complete what teachers could not. But the very fact that parents are asking the question “what to do?” if the child has “bad grades” suggests that the problem can be solved.

The role of school in people's lives has changed over the years. Previously, those who could not cope were sent “to Kamchatka” and then expelled from school. Today, a child cannot even be left for the second year, although some parents even ask for this for educational purposes.

Lyudmila Petranovskaya,

The chances of people who can only sit still and perform simple algorithmic operations turn out to be zero, since machines today are already more efficient than people in many aspects. Schoolchildren need a new approach, new knowledge. At the same time, the problem of delayed pedagogical results, when a student does not understand why he is given this or that knowledge, is compensated by grades that replace motivation. But a generation of digital natives who are learning to use touchscreens before they can talk, and are into e-sports and vlogging, needs a completely different approach. Unlike previous generations, they may ask questions: “Why do I need this?”, and trying to force them to study with bad grades is almost useless.

Nina Dobrynchenko-Matusevich, leader of the Parents League, active mother of three children

Today, education is no longer a social elevator and cannot by itself get anyone anywhere. People are aware of this situation, but they react in the old fashioned way. They propose to return the education system that helped us and our parents, only to make it stronger and better. Instead, we need to create new formats for teaching and assessing acquired knowledge.

Statistics show that Russian estimates are greatly divorced from reality. If in the USA, each grade in school gives a 7% increase in salary, then in Russia there is a 7% decrease in salaries with an increase in the average score - due to a career bias in the academic environment, where the salary level is lower. In our country, work experience is more important. As HSE research has shown, if a person worked somewhere during his studies, his salary is 33% higher. However, working while studying, as a rule, does not affect academic performance.

Assessment corrupts both the school and the education system

In general, as psychologists note, grades often turn into a leitmotif: in most cases, no one is interested in what the child really knows - what matters is what grades he brings.

Maria Voloshina, practicing psychologist in the education system

Choosing a teacher for a child is an almost inaccessible option. It is important to understand how to support a parent and child in reality. The help of a school psychologist for a parent is to help him “unstick” the assessment from the child. Help a parent understand what his child is like, what he is good at? - such questions confuse parents. It’s good when a parent sits down with their child and begins to figure it out, sees progress, and works on mistakes.

For assessments to be objective, there must be clear criteria so that the result can be understood and challenged. For example, in Western countries, colleges are ranked according to the average salaries of graduates; applicants are well aware of the score they need to score at school, and this allows us to talk about the balanced role of grades in a person’s life.

Lyudmila Petranovskaya, psychologist, blogger, author of several books, founder of the Institute for the Development of Family Structure

In a psychological context, we must understand that when using assessment to express a subjective attitude, the fear of a bad assessment of the child is inevitably formed. It is necessary to separate the wheat from the chaff, to evaluate a person’s actions, knowledge, and actions from the evaluation of the person himself. Teachers must evaluate children's specific actions within the educational process. It is necessary to evaluate how the child learns, how he communicates with the outside world.

What should the score be?

To ensure that assessment does not become a limiting factor in a child’s development, parents, teachers and children themselves need to change their attitude towards mistakes, since they are an element of the natural stage of learning. According to psychologists, there are three levels of motivation: passion, coping, and avoidance. And if today a “three” can form precisely a pattern of avoidance in a person, we need to work in every possible way to ensure that such a mark stimulates overcoming, and even better, enthusiastic study of the subject.

Vitaly Altukhov, Head of Development and Research Department "Profilum"

School evaluation is too general and relative. It does not allow one to judge the child’s real potential. To reveal it, you need to use additional metrics - to assess the child’s real interests and abilities, and also to identify talents that may not appear at school. Our technology allows us to comprehensively assess a child’s potential, identify his true talents, and selects specific options for professions, optimal extracurricular courses and career trajectories for them.published

This happens to everyone. The teacher hands you back a test or assignment that you thought you did well, and then your heart drops into your stomach. Your grade is bad, not even average. Questions flood your mind one after another. How can you improve your academic performance? What will the parents say? What will the estimate now be at the end of the year? To get back on track and avoid this mistake in the future, you need to know how to properly handle this situation. Start with step one of this guide to learn how to survive a bad grade.

Steps

Part 1

Let the panic pass quickly. When we get a bad grade, we panic (unless this is something you're used to). We feel like we have lost our mind, our focus, our talent and our strength. But this is not how things are in general. Each of us can stumble. In fact, the mistakes we make in our lives are what make us the people we are, they teach us how to improve and do better next time.

Remind yourself that one bad grade will not ruin your entire academic career. An academic career consists of many different tests and tests, not just the assignments and presentations you give in class. It depends on the relationships you build with your teachers; on the influence you have on your friends; and most importantly - from what you learn. Judging the success of your academic career by one assessment is like judging the success of a party by one guest who arrives. Such judgments are far from accurate.

Just in case, make sure, go back to the test and recalculate your scores. Make sure that the teacher did not make a mistake when calculating your points or summing up the final grade. Remember: even math teachers make calculation mistakes!

• If you do find an error, check again and then take the time to talk to your teacher. Instead of focusing on the error - “You made a mistake on my test, quickly change my grade!” – try to be more understanding. Remember that you will attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Try something like this: “I noticed that something is missing here, or am I missing something?”

1. Carefully find out what grades your classmates received. You probably won't be too upset if you got a "3" or a "3 -" when everyone else also got a "C", because it means you got a grade within the normal range. However, be careful when asking others' scores - they may not want to share with you or may want to know your score in return.

   • If your teacher proportionally lowered everyone's grades, then your result will be looked at taking into account everyone else's grades. Thus, if “4 -” is the maximum score on a test, then it becomes an “A”, and a “C” becomes a “Four”.

   Part 2

   Seeking help to improve the situation

   1. Talk to your teacher about possible ways to improve the situation. Teachers love it when students who have received a bad grade show a desire to learn and improve their grades. This makes teachers feel successful, doing the right thing, a good thing. Therefore, if you go up to your teacher and say something like “Hello, Yulia Sergeevna, I didn’t like the way I showed myself on the test. Can you somehow forget about it and work on writing a better next paper?” , your teacher will simply faint with satisfaction.

      • Even if it is difficult for you, you can get a lot of good out of meeting with your teacher:
        • The teacher will explain to you the problems you got wrong and the ideas you didn't understand.
        • Your teacher will see that you are eager to learn and may factor this into your final grade.
        • The teacher may give you an assignment for extra credit.

   2. Ask for help from students who did better on the test. Helping others feels good, and that is why many students who do well on a paper help those who did worse. Just make sure that you actually spend your time studying and working, and not on jokes and chatter. And try to choose someone you don’t find very attractive and for whom you don’t have a secret crush – we all know what “study” will be like when we’re in the same room with a handsome guy or a beautiful girl.

      Consider telling your parents about the bad grade. Although you may not want to do this, talking to your parents about this topic is still a very good idea. Your parents are worried about your progress. That's why they care about your bad grades - not because they want to make you feel bad. Keeping this in mind will make it easier for you to open up to them and hopefully get the help and support you need.

      • Your parents can sit down and explain to you where you went wrong; they can hire a tutor to help you with your studies; They may also arrange a meeting with your teacher (although it is unusual to do this after one bad grade) to find out how you can improve your performance.

   Part 3

   Success in the next test

   1. Exercise effectively, not necessarily for a long time. Many people believe that studying correctly means studying for a long time. This is not always true. Purposeful study with enthusiasm often beats long hours of monotonous work.

      Write down your notes and comments by hand, rather than on a computer or laptop. Studies have shown that writing with pen and paper improves your memory, as opposed to simply typing on a computer. This happens because writing letters and numbers activates the parts of the brain responsible for motor memory. Improving motor memory means improving your memory in general and remembering the information you write down.

      Take a break from time to time to refresh your memory. 10-minute breaks once an hour help in memorizing and mastering the material.

Are you sure that your child should study only with excellent marks? Have you heard anything about ? Then this confession from mother Elena Kucherenko, who has many children, is for you.

When our eldest daughter Varya went to school, I made a terrible mistake, which I am still correcting. I told her that I was an excellent student and expected the same from her.

The first couple of years everything was fine. She studied well, reported on her successes, we all rejoiced at her A’s, were proud, etc. I didn't even check her notebooks, let alone look at her electronic diary.

But one day I took one of her notebooks, leafed through it and saw a three marked in pencil.

“Varya, what is this?” - I asked sternly. My daughter cried and admitted that she was afraid that I would find out and scold her. A four would be fine, but a three! “You said that I should be an excellent student!”

My daughter was afraid to tell me that something didn’t work out for her at school, you know?!?! I myself, with my own hands, built this wall of fear and mistrust between us. And I won’t even dare to imagine where this would ultimately lead, if I hadn’t leafed through that ill-fated notebook.

To be honest, at that moment I was even confused and didn’t know what to do. I just hugged her, told her that I loved her, and asked her to never lie to her again. And don't be afraid. And she went into another room to think. And cry.

I remembered how the son of my acquaintances ended up in a mental hospital because his mom and dad demanded that he get straight A's, success, diplomas, a great future, and that they not be ashamed of him. As a result, the guy’s nerves and psyche simply could not stand it. And the worst thing is that he did not want to return home from the “dura”. Because, as he later admitted, only there he could breathe easy, because in the hospital he was not required to be someone’s pride and reach some heights. And he didn't have to get straight A's to be loved.

“And this will never happen to me,” I was sure.

And my Varya cried, painted over her C grade and was worried that she wouldn’t be able to become an excellent student like her mother... Like her bad mother!

“Yes, Varya, your mother was an excellent student at school. And she graduated from the institute with honors. But she passed her most important exam - on the ability to be a good mother - with a solid D... What a D! On stake!"…

No, I didn’t say this to her, but to myself. And I understood that we now need to fix a lot. And first of all for me - in myself.

I remembered how worried she was before every test. Now I knew why. How I worried about the fours... And it was a wrong, unhealthy experience.

Don’t think that I didn’t love her less because of these fours, and even more so because of this shaded three. And at that moment it seemed to me that I loved her even more than always. I felt so sorry for her, I cried! And you have no idea how much I hated myself!

I’m just like those parents whose son jumped out of the window. And no better than those who ended up in the hospital. And I'm sure those people weren't bad, they just wanted what was best. We all want the best, but sometimes we do it very wrong.

I myself, wanting the best, with my own hands, make my child unhappy. Herself! My good, beloved girl! Who is my first assistant at home and tries so hard to please, support, and make my life with many children easier.

How easy it is to make a mistake and how difficult it can be to correct it. I told her many, many times later that I didn’t love her for her grades, or anything at all, and that I would always love her, no matter what happened! And what - well, this “excellent student”. The main thing is not the A's. The main thing is to try, to do everything in your power, so that your conscience is calm. And then whatever happens.

I saw that Varya was still worried at first when she received a B (B!!!). And then there was a moment when she relaxed and decided that this “paradigm change” of mine meant that I could “suck up” on my studies, because my mother “realized everything” and she wouldn’t get anything for it.

By the fourth grade, thank God, everything got better. Well, we have a couple of B’s, so what... Varyusha even once told me: “Mom, remember, I was afraid that you would be upset if I wasn’t an excellent student? Do you remember? It was so hard for me to study then! I was only thinking about grades! And when we talked, school became so easy and interesting for me! Can you imagine?.. And when I grow up, I want to become a primary school teacher!”

True, we recently had these GIA (or Unified State Exam) at the end of the fourth grade, the meaning of which, frankly speaking, is unclear to me. There is so much that is unclear in the current school curriculum. Varya was very worried before each exam and kept asking: “And if I don’t pass, they won’t transfer me, right?” Why do little children need all this hassle, please explain?

And the day before yesterday there was graduation at Varya’s school. Certificates were awarded to excellent students. And at the end, several people came up to me in turn and asked in surprise: “What, isn’t Varya an excellent student?” “No, not an excellent student!” - I answered. And with inner relief I realized that I wasn’t offended at all because of this. I have a beautiful, smart, kind girl, and the main thing is that she is happy.

True, Varya heard all this and then asked me: “Is it too bad that I’m not an excellent student?” (apparently, that mistake of mine was still deeply embedded in her). "No, not bad. The main thing is that you tried, daughter!”...

Our second daughter, Sonya, starts school in September. I so hope not to repeat such mistakes with her... And I’m so afraid to repeat them... But the main thing is that I realized that you can’t scold her for her grades. You need to love, help, support, believe in the child, in anyone. And make him believe in us - in mom and dad. But I wasn't afraid.

And one more thing about these grades... Someone writes that they don’t need to be given at all. I don't know. There are probably children who need them. There needs to be something that demonstrates what they have achieved or need to work on.

Parents care not so much about the child’s “rating” in comparison with other children (although this, of course, too), but about his internal feelings, his presence or absence of desire and will to overcome obstacles and resistance to failure. With the first five, perhaps everything is clear. This, of course, is joy, the consequence of which is the growth of the little person’s self-esteem, his more confident behavior in the children’s group, and this is a holiday for parents. But how will a beginning student react to first two? Actually, this is something to think about.

Anything can happen

Unfortunately, first two no one can escape - it can happen in the first grade, or maybe in the sixth, but it will happen someday anyway, because even a genius is not immune from “failures”. A variety of situations are possible: the teacher did not present the new material very clearly or was in a bad mood, angry with the whole class, the child himself showed normal, but not very useful human qualities in school, such as absent-mindedness, inattention to what is said in class . He may be upset, he may have a headache. While going through his personal troubles, he is able to miss an explanation or forget to write down his homework. He's a living person!

After all, knowledge and academic performance are far from the same thing. Progress and keep up are the same root words. The one who manages to solve problems in class, can quickly read, write, and also, without delving into the essence of the matter, completes homework at a pace, gets an A. Sometimes it’s a shame: a child has deep knowledge about the structure of the world around him, thinks a lot, reads encyclopedias, but he is given a bad grade for not having learned paragraph number five by today. But he's not a robot. His life is filled with events and experiences. He might have felt unwell the day before or been busy (preparing for a competition, playing the piano, going away with his parents). It turns out to be an unpleasant situation: he knows the multiplication table by heart, but the teacher did not find exercise number twenty in his notebook. The high performance of “high achievers” is the cost of the imperfect school system, which forces the child to be in constant stress throughout all the years of school.

So, deuce

I must say, this assessment is a terrible thing. However, setting a child the task of avoiding failures at all costs is a more than dubious goal; it is constant nervous tension.

A grade of two is, perhaps, the first serious test that befalls a child, the first test of his vitality. To be honest, few people pass this test with dignity. Even an adult who has graduated from school, technical school and two universities receives mental trauma if he fails to pass the exam at a driving school. What can we say about a child for whom a grade is something like a certificate of the quality of his personality! “Five” in the perception of a child means: “I am good, smart, beautiful, this world accepts me.” “Two points” kills on the spot: “I’m bad, I’m a loser, they don’t love me, the world rejects me.” Unfortunately, the school practices public grading. The child is shamed in front of the whole class: “Three cannot be taken away from seven!” No, look at him! Well? How much will?" "Two!" - the kid says hesitantly. “Here, I’ll give you two too!” - the teacher announces.

Or another well-known situation. The child is called to the board to answer. Trying to collect his thoughts, he is silent for a minute. “Thank you for the detailed story!” - The teacher grins sarcastically.

The class laughs in delight. Having received a bad mark, the child returns to his place, and everyone looks closely at the expression on his face. Will she cry? Will he smile a crooked smile, hiding despair? It is indecent to cry - they will laugh! Usually children blush and lower their eyes. They want to quickly hide, get lost among their peers, and not attract attention to themselves. I must say that after a bad grade, the child sits for the next fifteen minutes, or even the entire lesson, in a daze, does not hear anything, does not understand, and automatically copies from the board.

The shame was public, and now with his behavior the student seeks to prove that grades are not the main thing. An unsatisfactory grade is detrimental to further learning.

Remember the consequences

How to prepare your child for a possible bad mark and how to react if he has already received one. What should I do to prevent the loss of interest in studying, the loss of self-esteem, and the development of persistent resentment towards the teacher? “But mine doesn’t worry about bad grades at all!” - someone will say. Yes, the sensations eventually become dull. Indifference to grades comes with the realization that nothing good can shine in the field of educational activity and it is necessary to establish oneself in some other way. Such a child tries to gain authority in a dubious courtyard company, demonstrates strength, is deliberately proud of the well-being of the family, or strives for power over younger and weaker ones.

It is a great success if he compensates for the moral damage caused by twos by completely devoting himself to creativity or sports. Usually he himself gives up on his intellect. If at the same time his parents attach special importance to intellectual development, call the child stupid for failing him and show hostility, then he will soon move away from them and become indifferent to their words. A bad grade can not only interfere with your studies, but also destroy family relationships.

Assessments (according to the prevailing stereotype of perception) are a confirmation of the primary “social status” of the child, a kind of indicator of which social stratum he will belong to.

In kindergarten, everyone was equal, and at school the future is already outlined: excellent student = college = career = management position; poor student = unskilled labor = humiliation = hatred of the intelligentsia. As a result, the child may completely deny spiritual ideals - in spite of the teacher, that same evil representative of the intelligentsia who supposedly carries “eternal spiritual values” and humiliates the child with two marks because he did not have time to memorize them on time.

The impact of twos on the psychology of children has not yet been sufficiently studied. The problem can hide many pitfalls. Perhaps the schools of the future will abandon such straightforward assessments and try not to clip the children’s wings. But now twos are legalized, and our children have to live with them and resist them.

The most likely causes of twos

• Errors, misunderstanding of material

Sometimes the result can be negative. Parents should say: “Let the twos correct the course of your thoughts, and not upset you!”

• Indifference to studies, laziness

The situation is difficult - there is no motivation to study. A consequence of mutual misunderstanding with the teacher, a bad program, or missing material. You should find out what the matter is and try to create motivation for the child, at least by explaining the direct connection between academic success and future well-being, as is practiced in the West. A person must be able to work, withstand competition, and endure failures.

• Failure in the literal sense of the learning process goes quickly, not all children can keep up with it. No sooner have you completed the letters than you need to read fluently, etc. Fs are possible due to insufficient speed of work. Phlegmatic people are unlucky: they are often capable, but slow. Temperament, as we know, cannot be changed, so you need to warn the teacher that the child will prove himself more likely in difficult homework than in a quick survey.
• The program is too complex

Often parents make excessive demands on their child, send him to a prestigious lyceum with many difficult subjects, and send him to school too early. After classes, the child has a headache, he is tired and nervous. “In this lyceum you have to suffer all evening to get at least a C!” - then the parents worry. You should choose a school where studying, although difficult, is enjoyable, where difficulties are completely surmountable and you can get A’s with adequate effort.

• F's are not for knowledge

There are deuces because of behavior. There are character traits that “contribute” to getting a bad grade: absent-mindedness, inattention, thoughtfulness, self-doubt, anxiety. Helping the child become confident, strong, collected - this is the task of the parents in this case.

• Conflict with teacher

A teacher can cause both love for a subject and hatred. A lot depends on the relationship between the child and the teacher. The teacher does not always give grades objectively, and the child, even with good knowledge, may be afraid to answer the lesson. If it turns out that grades are influenced not only by knowledge, but also by the relationship with the teacher, parents should meet with the teacher more often, showing that they know what is happening and are ready to defend the rights of the child. You should not allow the teacher to dictate your will, you should try to establish a cooperative relationship - for the sake of the child. There are cases of obvious incompatibility between teacher and student. If such a situation arises in a primary school, it is better to transfer the child to another class.

• Accident

A certain percentage of random twos is always acceptable, as long as it does not exceed the norm.

• Conscious refusal to learn

Some children, having decided that they will not become engineers, may refuse to study mathematics, chemistry, etc. In this case, we need to talk about the benefits of general education, that even purely humanitarian professions (journalist, psychologist, lawyer) will benefit from technical knowledge invaluable.

When you look at the diary, pay maximum attention to positive assessments. You can remain indifferent to twos. Just ask: “Why are there not enough A’s? If you don’t know something, I will help you!” If the parent is not very well versed, for example, in intricate chemistry and is unlikely to be able to help, he can, on the contrary, ask the child: “Come on, I’ll sit with you, and you will explain the new material to me. I'd like to know that too." In short, pay more attention to scientific truth, not to estimates! If you discuss a bad grade with a child, then speak in a businesslike manner, without emotion. You can’t draw generalized conclusions from two, such as “you’re a fool” or “you don’t know physics.” On the contrary, it is necessary to localize the area for which the estimate was obtained as accurately as possible: physics - mechanics - Newton's second law. It is this second Newton’s law with all the variants of problems that must be properly studied and understood.

You should explain to the child that even with his good intelligence, failures can still happen and you need to be able to calmly correct them, and not fall into panic or rage. The ability to courageously overcome difficulties and not give up is very useful for later life.