Read all about Tatyana Snezhina. Tatiana Snezhina - Soul like a violin

Fate and lyrics by Tatyana Snezhina.

(Literary and musical evening in memory of T. Snezhina)

“Lullaby” by T. Snezhina

Vedas: On a fine day of the Ukrainian spring, May 14, 1972, in the city of Lugansk, a second child, a girl, was born into the family of senior lieutenant of the Soviet army Valery Pechenkin and his wife, a technologist at a local plant, Tatyana, and they named her Tanya. This is how a talented poetess and composer was born, who later became known to everyone as Tatyana Snezhina.

(melody)

Ved: The fate of an officer is not easy and often does not take into account the difficulties of life. That same year, on July 26, Tatyana’s father was sent to serve in the harsh lands of Kamchatka. A month later, his faithful wife, having collected the simple belongings of a military family, holding her seven-year-old son Vadim in one hand, clutching her three-month-old daughter to her chest with the other, flew out after her husband.

Ved: The first expensive purchase in the new place was a piano gift to my beloved wife. Quiet evenings were filled with the divine melodies of Chopin and Beethoven. Tatyana herself recalled that her musical perception of the world was shaped by “the howling of a blizzard outside the window, the crackling of birch logs in the stove and the tender hands of her mother, giving birth to unforgettable melodies.” Tatyana received her first music lessons from her mother at a very young age, at three years old. Later, at the age of four, Tatyana begins to show the makings of acting, staging various kinds of home performances for her family. At the same time, the first own “Rhymes” appeared.

Looked around with a hazy look

Autumn morning silence,

Deceptive sunny bunny

Suddenly it flashed onto the frosted roofs.

Ved: Later, Tanya enters and successfully studies in music and secondary schools. Almost every day the house is filled with friendly neighbors, school friends who come running to her after school to sing songs and eat her mother’s pies. .

(songSong don't fly away summer )

Ved: Good years...life gradually returned to its groove, friends appeared, the beauty of wild nature, comfort and the special atmosphere of a seaside town were all around. And... the family, instead of the three years required by the service, remains in Kamchatka for nine. One day in the summer of 1981, having flown off to visit her grandmother in Ukraine after the second grade, Tatyana was no longer able to return to Kamchatka; her father was sent again, this time to Moscow.

(song “Fog over the city fog”)

Ved: The loss of friends, longing for her home, the amazing and beautiful Kamchatka region, the first lyrical sketches are born in her notebooks. In search of empathy, Tatyana became interested in reading poetry. She is especially attracted to the works of Tsvetaeva, Pasternak, and Heine. Gradually, her sketches begin to take on confident poetic forms. She spends more and more time at the piano. Poems are set to music, sometimes music gives birth to poetry...

(song “We are only guests in this life”)

Ved: Then the talent of an artist is revealed in her. First love. New friends, the beauty of nature - these are the main motives of her work during her school years.

How the nightingale cries,

As soon as the rain stops.

And the raven jumped from the branches,

It circles all day long.

All this is happening strangely

For hundreds of years.

Love comes to us in the spring,

To light a fire in your soul.

As the rain fell on the ground,

Suddenly love came.

And like fog covered the sky,

My mind was clouded.

Suddenly they told me: “You like me”

And just like that, the dream passed so quickly.

I stayed in class with my friend,

And you left school for life. (May 1987)

(song There was a time )

Ved: In 1989, Tatyana entered the Second Medical Institute. It was during this period that Tatyana got her first public. Amateur recordings of her songs, made on a tape recorder, begin to spread among acquaintances, friends, and relatives . (song Ask Me)

“Creative” evenings with friends at the piano are becoming frequent. During this period, many funny and humorous songs and poems appeared in Tatyana’s lyrics.

(songFestival of Lies)

It's great that there is spring,

Cats screaming on the roofs!

How good it is that the world is complete

In the spring it bursts into the windows!

How sweet is the warm breeze,

Bringing awakening with you!

Having succumbed to him, twenty lines

The hand will write in obsession.

How difficult it is at night,

The pond is silvery with moonlight.

On a night like this they go away

Sadness and pain and sleep. And no

More beautiful place on Earth

More beautiful than night and peace,

And only me, hanging out the window,

I managed to see this. (April 1990 Moscow)

Ved: But here again fate intervenes in her life - in 1991, her father was transferred to serve in Siberia, to the city of Ob, Novosibirsk.

Longing again... longing for what I managed to love, what I managed to grow into. These feelings give a new impetus to creativity. Songs are born one after another... especially at night... when no one bothers you, when you don’t have to pretend... sometimes two or three per night . (songIf only I was lucky )

How I miss the rain.

Oh, if only someone knew, God!

How I love my Moscow,

Moscow, which is more valuable than all the earth.

In a country where the sun is constant,

I want to go, run there,

Where is that Solyanka street,

Where there is rain and bustle.

I don't want the fogs of London

We won't meet you there.

My love is given to the capital,

And anyone can find happiness here.

How I miss the rain.

In that apartment in the city center,

which I love so much

Ved: An old piano, destroyed by constant transportation, helps to remember, dream, create... But only for myself. The father, seeing his daughter’s “torment,” makes an expensive gift for the serviceman, then a gift - an “Electronics” synthesizer and gives away his “Jupiter” tape recorder. Now her small room has turned into the ultimate of her dreams - into a “real studio”! Films are being written one after another. At the request of friends and relatives, they write and write and give gifts. Sometimes they just give in. No one still knows exactly how many songs were written and simply given into the wrong hands... irrevocably.

(backgroundMy city )

Ved: The circle of admirers is expanding, the cassettes are selling. One of these tapes ended up in the amateur studio “KiS-S” in Moscow in November 1993. I felt the potential of her work, and the studio staff offered to discuss options for reselling these works to other authors and performers. But Tatyana, having arrived in Moscow, categorically refuses the proposed deal and offers an alternative option - to record a couple of songs performed by her. They recorded... not for free... everyone liked it... It is unknown whether it was the desire to make money, or belief in her talent, but the studio members convince Tatyana to record a music album with them at her expense, assuring that further “promotion and implementation, with their connections in Moscow" they will take over. The dream seemed so close... Tanya, with the support of her family, agreed... From the beginning of 1994, work began on the future album. Tatiana gives her first interviews on the radio. It was then that she took the pseudonym Snezhina. In March 1994, debut at the Variety Theater. For her, it was all for the first time - rehearsals, recordings in the studio, working with arrangers... and all this during short visits to Moscow, during student holidays and on weekends.

(Song my city )

Realizing that she is sorely lacking in experience, Tatyana tries to sing wherever the opportunity presents itself - at student competitions, in nightclubs, and discos. She practices vocals and choreography on her own. In one reputable restaurant in Novosibirsk, after listening to Tatyana, they did a favor by allowing her to perform pop hits several times a week “for free” for their visitors. Once her own song was performed, it caused thunderous applause and... Gradually, Snezhina’s repertoire of songs almost completely replaced the traditional one. The restaurant began to overcrowd on the evenings of her performances - the audience “followed her.”

(Song Sailor )

Ved: Over the course of a year, 21 songs were recorded in the studio, which she dreamed of combining into an album called “Remember with Me.” Tatiana said then: “These are songs that came out of my dialogues with myself, with my soul, from my tears and my joys, from my life.” At the beginning of February 1995, another visit to Moscow. Arrival for the final material. Arriving with a heart full of hope for the “friends from the studio” whom she fell in love with and who promised her a lot. They promised... You can write for a long time about the low quality of the final recordings, about the failure of their “promotion spotlights”, about the demand for additional money... But for a young girl it was simply a betrayal. Full of disappointments, Tatyana returned to Novosibirsk, stopped dreaming, stopped believing in justice, stopped creating.

Deny me evil fate.

Rest without me at least a little.

Let me walk my path in peace.

If you want, betray it! I'll forgive you for this

And I will consider betrayal as happiness.

You offended me, but I don't complain

I endure and go to the arena.

I go out without boots, without a shield and a whip...

Hey, look at the fight!

Stand behind me, in whom the dream trembles,

I promise you a fight without hesitation.

The red-hot sting slides under your hand,

Burning my soul godlessly...

I can no longer be submissive like this,

It is no longer possible to live as before.

Deny, turn away, don't pursue me,

I can no longer vouch for myself,

I'm not afraid of your hooligan - fire,

I already got burned by him...

We lost, that's enough, let's take a break,

Let's keep quiet so that the worries subside.

We'll wave goodbye to each other

And we'll go down different roads.

Deny me, evil fate,

Rest without me at least a little bit.

Don't hold me, let me go, I'll do without you,

Let me walk my path calmly... (“Monologue to Fate”, January 1992, Moscow.)

Ved: End of February 1995. Tatyana, having overcome her disappointment, begins searching for a new creative team in Novosibirsk. Among others, Tatyana Snezhina’s audio material is received and listened to by music producer and head of the M&L Art studio Sergei Bugaev. As he later admitted more than once among his friends, a cassette with her songs quietly migrated from the walls of the studio to his car, and for several weeks he listened to Tanya’s songs, listened, forgetting for a moment that this was material for work.

(SongBe with me )

In March 1995, Tatyana Snezhina received an offer of cooperation from Sergei Bugaev... and a couple of months later - the debut of her new song, “Musician.” “Musician” performed by Kristina Orbakaite, “Dream” by Tatyana Ovsienko, “Song for you” - Mikhail Shufutinsky, “There was a time” - Lev Leshchenko, “House on a High Mountain” - Lolita Milyavskaya, “What is my life worth” - Nikolai Truboch and many others.

(song "Musician" K. Orbakaite)

Ved: The studio was amazed by Tatyana’s talent and is starting to prepare the recording of two more songs. For them, Snezhina was a godsend, because it’s lucky to find both the author of music, songs, and a talented performer in one person. Tatyana began to have her own audience. Victories at competitions, ovations, television interviews and performances, fans. But Tanya did not succumb to the external side of success. She continued to create. She created wherever she could, wrote poems on napkins in cafes, on tickets in transport. .

(song Tram) mixed

Ved: But again, life did not give her a break - studying at the institute, choreography classes, vocal lessons, rehearsals, recordings... It seemed that right now a lucky star was smiling at her - she had a job she loved, a talented producer and friend, a good creative team. After listening to Tatyana’s home tapes and looking at her poetry notebooks, Bugaev once remarked: “Only with this we will have enough work for twenty years.”

It was planned to release a magnetic album in September, then a series of clips, and a laser disc abroad by winter. But, obviously remembering her difficult path to success, about the difficulties that young talents overcome, Tatyana, together with Sergei, create a project for a Charitable Cultural Fund to help young performers. In addition to that, she was preparing to become a doctor next year. There were many goals and tasks ahead, and she could cope with them...

I don't regret anything

Everything that was flowed away in a stream.

What will happen will all pass away on its own,

He will follow you.

If the sun, having made a circle,

Will return again, warming everything around,

So, there will be a new path in the morning,

Tomorrow will be better than yesterday.

If the wind is in the sails,

If the sky is blue in your eyes,

This means that the step on the path will be firm,

So, we must come to happiness.

Ved: And then fate gave Snezhina another gift - Love. In May, Sergei admitted to Tatyana that he loved her, and soon proposed to her to marry him. In July she agrees.

On August 15, 1995, the Europe Plus radio station will report on the upcoming wedding of Bugaev and Snezhina.

(songYour portrait )

Not forgetting about creative plans, they plunge into pleasant chores. We have already bought wedding rings and a wedding dress, and prepared invitations to friends.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy,

Life is foggy, love is homeless.

An abyss of darkness with a dim ray.

The dust of the roads and the light of dawn.

A kite soars over the mountain.

There is smoke above the hut.

There is a tower in the dense forest.

Let it lie wide and wide.

Sadness, bottomless melancholy -

I saw the engagement ring in a dream.

Life is foggy, love is homeless -

The wedding music is not crying for me.

White wedding dress

It doesn’t suit me, they say.

I'll walk down the aisle alone,

Ved: There was less than a month left before the wedding.

Television talked about this event and the young talented singer Tatyana Snezhina. A real shock for those gathered at this “get-together” were unexpectedly performed by Tatyana, instead of pop songs, two romances “My Star” and “If I Die Before My Time...”

My star, don’t shine in sorrow,

Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,

Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?

Both heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

Ved: In three hours, Sergei and Tatyana will leave, and the last thing the public will hear from her lips will be the words of the romance:

If I die before my time,

Let the white swans carry me away

Far, far away, to an unknown land,

High, high, into the bright sky….

On August 18, 1995 at 5 p.m., they and their friends went on a pre-wedding trip to the Altai mountains.

Ved: The last of their loved ones who saw their mutual happiness was Tanya’s mother, when from the window of her house, she watched a small minibus. Who would have known then that he would take them away forever...

(background instrumental)

Because I wanted to change the world,

For carrying yourself proudly,

Because I sang my songs,

But I just couldn’t finish singing.

Because I didn’t wish harm on anyone,

For the fact that I could give joy,

Because I hid my tears,

I paid in full.

Because I never wanted to take revenge,

For walking the clear road,

And I couldn’t see at all,

When resentment burned my soul.

Because she knew how to value friendship,

Because I could love so much,

Because I wanted to fly to the sun,

For this they broke both my wings.

Because I loved freedom so much,

For wishing everyone happiness,

What kind of enemies did I pray to God for?

For this Eden cursed me.

For saving my soul,

Because I just wanted to live -

That's why life didn't love me,

Vedas: “On August 21, 1995, at the 106th kilometer of the Cherepanovskaya highway Barnaul-Novosibirsk, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck. As a result of this road traffic accident, all six passengers of the minibus6, director of the PIONEER MCC Sergei Bugaev, singer Tatyana Snezhina, candidate of sciences Shamil Faizrakhmanov, director of the Masterveet pharmacy Igor Golovin, and his wife, doctor Golovina Irina, died without regaining consciousness. and their five-year-old son Vladik.”

(songWe are no more )- mixed

Ved: This is how a beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl, a talented poet and composer, Tatyana Snezhina, tragically passed away. During her difficult but bright life, she managed to write more than 200 songs, a large number of poems and works of prose.

Ved: Manuscripts don’t burn. Everything that was created by Tatyana Snezhina will remain with us. Her poems will remain, her songs will remain, her sincerity and kindness will remain, her soul will remain, bright as a wedding dress, which became a funeral dress on that fateful day, and pure as Russian snow.

The song " We are no more"

Prepared by: Bublikova Y.A. 2014

(based on materials from the book “I don’t regret anything”)

Take me with you

1. Again from me the wind of evil changes

It takes you away

Without leaving me even a shadow in return,

And he won't ask

Maybe I want to fly away with you

Yellow autumn leaves, a bird behind a blue dream.

CHORUS: Call me with you,

I'll get through the bad nights

I'll go after you

Whatever the path prophesies for me.

I'll come where you are

Draw the sun in the sky

Where are the broken dreams

They regain the power of heights.

2. How long have I been looking for you through the years?

In the crowd of passers-by.

I thought you'd be with me forever,

But you're leaving.

Now you won't recognize me in the crowd,

Only, as before, loving,

I'm letting you go.

3. Every time night falls

To the sleeping city,

I'm running away from the sleepless house

In sadness and cold.

I'm looking for you among faceless dreams,

But at the door of a new day

I'm going again without you.

Tatiana Snezhina. The soul is like a violin. Biography, poems, memories

PREFACE

Dedicated to my family

A lot has already been written about Tatyana Snezhina. There are something like biographies, there are articles about her work. But all this, in my opinion, was written in the style of “statement of facts”: she was born, lived, loved, was loved, wrote songs, poems, paintings, sang and... died. Sometimes, along with the story about certain events in her life, assumptions were made and assessments were given: she was talented, on the verge of mysticism she had a presentiment of her death... Now, looking back, I understand: something was left unsaid, something very personal and therefore important . It seems that in order to understand this girl, to understand how her fate unfolded, how her soul was formed, where the source of her talent is not just mere speculative assumptions, you just need to try to see life through her eyes. Tatyana left behind many paintings, drawings, musical works, poems, sketches, including in prose, a short two-page autobiography, and several first interviews. How much more to imagine her short life, to imagine how she saw this life? But for many years I was haunted by the thought that something elusive, perhaps hidden, that we keep in the very depths of our souls, that she probably kept, still eludes our attention.

In this collection, I tried to reflect in short stories the world in which our family lived, its shades, details, sensations, our feelings that changed as we grew up and as the world around us changed. To show all this through the eyes of my brother, from those moments when, with the happy eyes of a seven-year-old boy, I first looked at this “miracle” - my born sister, to those minutes when I, a man who had the privilege of burying his beloved sister forever, saw Tatyana for the last time .

Tatyana Snezhina left behind many poems, songs and prose sketches. I combined these sketches in this collection because, in my opinion, they are an integral part of her story, and some of the events described probably happened to her, or to me, or to her friends, or... were a reflection of the world , created by her imagination... But these are just thoughts out loud. Only Tatyana knew the answer.

Vadim Pechenkin April 2010

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

The most precious memories of any person are memories of his childhood, father, mother, of that carefree and joyful perception of the world that will never be repeated.

I was born in Ukraine, and my first impressions of life were melodic Ukrainian tunes from the radio near the crib and my mother’s lullaby. I was not even six months old when fate transferred me from a warm, fertile region to the harsh land of Kamchatka. The pristine beauty of Nature... Gray volcanoes, snow-capped hills, the majestic expanse of the ocean. And new childhood experiences: long winter evenings, howling snowstorms outside the window, the crackling of birch logs in the stove and mother’s tender hands giving birth to Chopin’s unforgettable melodies.

Our old piano... I sometimes look at it, and it seems to me that all these years it was a member of the family, happy and sad, sick and healed with me. I didn’t yet know how to speak, but, hitting the keys with my childish fingers, I tried to show the world around me my feelings and thoughts.

Then, at three or four years old, the first “variety” performances. Mom's cosmetics, mom's skirt and something from the 70s repertoire. Remember: “Oh Arlekino, Arlekino...” or even better - “Dark eyes...”. And, of course, thunderous applause from guests and parents who are in love with their child. At the end of the “concerts” - the first nursery rhymes. In one word - Childhood.

Then school and a new move, this time to Moscow. And the first conscious shock in life is the loss of friends who remained thousands of insurmountable kilometers away, in that harsh and beautiful land. And instead of the joyfully playful children's stanzas about “worms and bugs,” sad and at the same time lyrical lines began to come into my head, along with nightly tears for my first love, “which is there, far away, in a distant and harsh land.” They could not yet be called poems, but rather, those seeds that were destined to germinate later. And the soil was nourished by volumes of Tsvetaeva, Pasternak, Heine, slipped in unnoticed by the caring hand of the elder brother, who saw and understood everything.

Other people's poems, other people's songs, girlfriend Lena, evenings turning into nights at the piano, all this in public, and at night secretly your own - in a notebook, bad, but your own. And later the first listener is my mother, the person closest to me, and her tears, tears of joy and sadness. Only then did I realize that what I had been nurturing and hiding for many years could evoke feelings not only in me. And gradually the circle of people whom I began to trust, to talk about the most intimate, personal things, began to expand. But that was later, when I entered the 2nd Moscow Medical Institute. I don’t know if it was possible to talk about creativity even then, it’s not for me to judge, but I lived by it, I simply filled my inner loneliness, I thirsted for something beautiful and... unrealizable, and people liked it. Student evenings with friends at the club piano became frequent; one of them quietly recorded what I sang and played on a tape recorder, and the tapes began to be distributed among acquaintances, friends, and relatives. This was my first, and therefore most expensive, edition, the first joy of creative satisfaction. I couldn’t even believe right away that what I wrote for myself was needed by someone else. The old pain gradually subsided, new friends appeared, in short, there were no limits to happiness and carefreeness...

And then HIS death. The death of a great Man and Poet - the death of Igor Talkov... and dreams, dreams about him. How much has not yet been written, how much has not been sung. Why do people so needed by Russia leave early - Pushkin, Lermontov, Vysotsky, Talkov? The dreams were prophetic and difficult. Shock, again a spiritual vacuum. I couldn’t walk, think, write. Friends remained... And a new blow of fate, which, regardless of anything, throws me again thousands of kilometers from home, friends, my life - to Siberia, to the city on the Ob - Novosibirsk. Longing for everything that I had lost, like once, a longing again that did not leave me day or night. And songs began to be born, this time I can say with confidence - just songs, sometimes two or three per night. And outside the window there is still the same snow, maybe that’s why I am Snezhina - snow, cold, emptiness. And calls from the past, from afar, from Moscow, from friends, from my brother: “We are with you. Record something new and go out.” If it weren’t for them... And the tapes, which I had already recorded myself in my home studio, flew to the capital. One of them, by the will of the same fate, accidentally deviated from the assigned route and ended up on Taganka in the KiS-S studio. A day later a call: “Ready to work.” Two hours later I was already at the frozen airport of Novosibirsk, five more - I was going down the dark steps into the holy of holies of my 1994 year, into the studio - I was walking towards my dream. The dream, however, quickly doused me like a bucket of water, in the words of my first arranger Alexander Savelyev: “Work and work... but there is something in it.” I suddenly heard, as it seemed to me then, the divine sounds of a mysterious melody, which after a couple of seconds turned out to be just a talented arrangement of my song from my school years, “Rose.”

The life of Tatyana Snezhina, poetess,
composer, author and performer
of their songs, tragically ended
at the height of her talent.
The creativity of this gifted, beautiful
girls received recognition after her
death...

"I'm waiting for you, Happiness! I'm waiting in my dreams,
when the night quietly lowers the veil over
my eyelashes shine when cold
the stars carry me into the vastness
Universe. I'm waiting for you when
the vain day comes into its own,
pulling me into a whirlpool
worries, affairs and problems, and even under
with the weight of insolubility I wait and wait
you, Happiness!

I'm looking for you, Happiness! I am looking for you
everywhere, even where it seemed
It would be pointless to search. And that's it
I’m looking, going through the possible and
impossible.

I hope for you, Happiness! I hope when all is lost, when there is nothing to return, when
there is no longer room for hope, I hope that I am not forgotten by you, Happiness, and that you will discern
me in a labyrinth of destinies and hopes. But maybe this is your essence, so that
seek, wait and hope, O Happiness?!"

It won't hurt me anymore
It probably won't hurt me any more.

It won't get harder for me, it won't,
I won't go after you.
Maybe my heart will stop hurting,
When you give him peace again.

I won't, of course I won't,
It's bitter to cry and hide your tears.
I will forget, I will forget instantly,
And I won't remember you.

What was has passed and floated away.
Nothing can be fixed now.
I've cooled down, now I've cooled down.
And forget how to knock on that door.

It was painful to live like that in anticipation
Rare meetings and so frequent separations.
It was painful to run to a date,
To feel the coldness of your hands.

And now it won't hurt me anymore
If you slam the door and leave.
Maybe I'll even breathe a sigh of relief
Only you are unlikely to understand this.
1990, Moscow

If I die before my time
If I die before my time,
You give me to the white swans,
Between the feathers of their wings I will get entangled
And I will rush off with them into my dream.

And there is no need to call a priest to my house,
And there’s no need to perform my funeral service in church.
Let the free winds sing for me,
They will sing to my destitute soul.

Well, my body is empty
Cover it with damp earth,
Yes, give him, unbaptized,
Cross, so that I may be forgiven by God.

Don't put flowers on my grave,
Let it be overgrown with lush grass.
Let the forget-me-nots bloom in the spring,
Yes, winter will fall with white snow.

If I die before my time,
Let the white swans carry me away,
Far, far into an unknown land,
High, high into the bright sky...
September 29, 1991, Moscow

“Stars... How often we look at the night sky! How our soul is reborn and healed, filling with starry radiance coming from the distant night sky...
Stars... Stars are happy moments that, having served their time on Earth, rose into the sky and remained there to forever remind themselves at night, when people are freed from everything, can raise their heads and direct their gaze to where their light shines once gone happiness. But sometimes the stars leave the sky and descend to Earth again to illuminate their chosen one with happiness. This is probably why we so often look longingly at the stars in the depths of the night, afraid of missing our lucky star. And even if we don’t find it, then starlight, like a healing balm, lubricates our spiritual wounds, smoothes out the scars on the heart and cleanses us from earthly vanity.”
(From the story "Rain", 1990, Moscow)

My star
My star, don’t shine in sorrow,
Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,
Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?
And heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

Why are you shining uselessly now?
To my pain, which broke my chest?
We will meet you at the edge of the abyss,
I'll fly to you someday...

You know everything - whether it's a lot or a little,
You were with me at every moment on earth,
In happiness you shone so tenderly at me
And cried in the anguish of the nights with me.

We hid our vices behind the light of day
And they fell powerless on the night of passion.
My star, we are too lonely
In the flow of years and hopeless days.

Wounded in battle by the bayonets of lies,
Soul wandering in the depths of centuries,
I couldn't admit defeat
And confession will not remove all shackles.

And now your light is like a revelation,
From the purity of non-crying skies
Calls me to salvation through oblivion...
My star, are you an Angel or a Demon?..
Spring 1994, Novosibirsk

“When night lowers its heavy silk curtain on the theatrical stage of the day, a completely different life begins - a quiet, behind-the-scenes life for everyone.
There comes another intermission in the play. We go backstage to touch up our makeup, take a little break from our role and ask the “Chief Director” again to give the order, in the end, to change the scenery, which is completely inappropriate and only prevents the actors from seeing each other.
I, too, go behind the scenes so that in the darkness, by touch, blindly, I can find you, my Gentle Night Mirage. I find you, my Song, nurture you like a child, and release you to meet the morning star: “See you in the next scene of the play, but for now in the same scenery...”
September 4, 1993, Novosibirsk

Take me with you
Again from me the wind of evil changes
It takes you away
Without leaving me even a shadow in return,
And he won't ask
Maybe I want to fly away with you
Yellow autumn leaves,
A bird behind a blue dream.

Call me with you,
I'll get through the bad nights
I'll go after you
Whatever the path prophesies for me.
I'll come where you are
Draw the sun in the sky
Where are the broken dreams
They regain the power of heights.

How many years have I been looking for you?
In the crowd of passers-by.
I thought you'd be with me forever,
But you're leaving.
Now you won't recognize me in the crowd,
Only, as before, loving,
I'm letting you go.

Every time night falls
To the sleeping city,
I'm running away from the sleepless house
In sadness and cold.
I'm looking for you among faceless dreams,
But at the door of a new day
I'm going again without you.

Musician
The creaky old cart is tired
Night was creeping into a frozen sunset...
And where the strip of light remained,
The musician appeared like a ghost.

He was sent to me by a distant light,
A combination of mysterious stars,
He sang in a low voice
Me about what awaits me next.

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.

We rode side by side in the cart of the night,
The team of stars was driven by the winds,
I was warmed by a gentle gaze
And the melody of dreams until the morning.

And throwing his jacket over my shoulders,
This ghost quietly told me:
"Sing with me and you will feel better,
I only saved myself with song."

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.

The musician was the embodiment of fate,
The unsteady life of my silhouette.
He was sent to me as salvation,
Like a forgotten poet rhyming.

He resurrected me from oblivion.
He gave me back my soul and love.
The musician became my inspiration
And I know that I will meet him again.

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I forgot my troubles.
I didn’t know what I would find,
And I didn’t look anymore
I'm on the way back.
1994

“Anyone who has truly loved will understand that this happens. In true love there are always miracles that are understandable only to lovers, which are visible only to kind people who believe in them. Miracles are found in love at every step. You just need to notice them and can't pass by. When they wait for love for a long time and wish for it on the twelfth strike of the New Year's chimes, moreover, they themselves make every effort to bring it closer, then love itself reaches out to such people and bestows them with happiness. And if you believe in this, in miracles, into true love that conquers centuries, then such love, strong and eternal, will come to you."

You won't be able to forget me
You won't be able to forget me,
I will remain a shadow nearby
You fold your arms tiredly,
Looking into the emptiness.

Everything will remain as before
But I'm not with you,
Will you be just as gentle?
But only with emptiness.

And you can’t forget me -
My image is always with you,
In everyday life gray and dull
A quiet voice behind.

The touch of my warm hands
Saved your shoulders
Wedding in our memories
Silent candles will be made.

You won't be able to forget me,
I will remain a shadow nearby.
You fold your hands in doom,
Looking into the emptiness.

This will happen more than once,
Shadows meet twice -
In the light of this luxurious day
And tomorrow - in the darkness of the past.
December 26, 1993, Novosibirsk

“From a certain moment, something switched in my soul. I began to look at someone else’s grief as if from the other side - not from the outside, but from the inside. You need to try to look into the soul of a person, especially an old one. Don’t consider his conversations as absurdity and extravagance, as often happens, but to give a person the opportunity to open your soul, to lay out everything that hurts. After all, sometimes the soul has no one to trust, and you need to be able to help it..."
(From the story "With New Happiness")

We are only guests in this life
And the soul will fly away
And everything will be forgotten.
Well, God will forgive her everything.
If only my soul were light...

Some earlier, some later.
Everything was simple at first.
The further you go, the more difficult it is, and life flies faster,
And we run after her.

Like a candle is hot,
A trickle of wax flows down
Quiet your life
And there's no turning back.
Never swear
Don't promise that you'll live
How life should be.
Look fate in the eye.

We come to life according to the law
All-powerful fate, to replace those who were,
And to those who didn't make it.
Everything will be as God pleases.
And maybe I’ll sing everything that came before me
The one who left did not finish singing.

There are no two ways to go.
And from fate, no matter how hard you try,
Don't leave.
And life will take its toll.

And don't look back
Don't remember your mistakes
On the way, go
And everything will pass.

It hurts so much in our lives,
With a wounded soul we strive for heaven.
And you can be happy with fate,
But you still don’t understand that you exist on earth.
Surrendering to heaven.

And the soul will fly away
And he will forget everything.
Well, God will forgive her everything,
If only my soul were light.
You just have to live like that
To tirelessly give joy and love
To all those who are visiting here.

We are only guests in this life.
We'll stay a little and then we'll leave,
Some earlier, some later...
February 22, 1993, Novosibirsk

We learned about her only after her tragic death in 1995. Only when the prima donna of the national stage, who seemed to have gone into an honorable musical retirement, returned. God knows whether this return would have been triumphant if it had not been for the universally recognized hit: the song based on the poems of Tatyana Snezhina - “Call me with you.”

"My life is a memory that has found warmth in your souls"- Tatyana Snezhina

You can learn about Tatyana Snezhina on the website dedicated to her life and work.

We will never hear her songs and poems live again, because she is no longer there.
Let me live without time
Let me live unrighteously.
Just now forgive me
And understand everything correctly.

T. Snezhina
(“Let me live without time”)
In her autobiography, Tatyana will write: “I was born in Ukraine, and my first impressions of life were melodic Ukrainian tunes from the radio near the crib and my mother’s lullaby.” How much had to happen for such lines to be born:

***
We didn't know what awaited anyone.
We didn’t understand where life was leading us.
The distant distances are now behind us,
And we didn’t even know what was ahead.
("At the End of the Road")

It is no coincidence that now I have brought Tanya’s infancy and her poem “At the End of the Road” so close together. Life is a moment, especially when it is as short as Tatyana’s life.
Tatyana was not attracted to the external side of life and was not an end in itself. The main thing for her was to write songs and sing them for people, awakening long-forgotten feelings:

***
And let it be so - a moment or an eternity,
And all my life there will be a star in the sky at night,
I believe that we will fly to infinity
Loving each other through worlds and years.
(“Where are you? Who are you?”)

When a talent passes away, the Soul and its Creativity leave the world. But, nevertheless, as often happens, especially in Russia, after the death of a poet, the perception of his lyrics becomes sharper, the understanding of his insights, his life Philosophy becomes deeper. This happened with Tatyana and her Creativity.

In fact, her songs were officially released for the first time on the fortieth day after her death. The first magnetic album “Remember with Me” with twenty songs by T. Snezhina was published in Moscow. At the same time, the first documentary film about T. Snezhina, “They Were Young,” was released.
On the edge of life, Tatyana met her true love - Sergei Bugaev. Their wedding was scheduled for September 13, and on August 21, 1995, at the 196th kilometer of the Cherepanovskaya highway Barnaul - Novosibirsk, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck. As a result of this road transport, all six passengers of the minibus died without regaining consciousness:

***
The musician was created by the incarnation
The unsteady life of my silhouette!
He was sent to me as salvation,
Like a forgotten poet rhyming.
("Musician")

Are these lines about Sergei? Is it not about the mystical premonition of his appearance in the life of T. Snezhina? One can only guess and guess.
Tatyana was filled with light, her faith in goodness was limitless:

***
Now a second has passed like a century,
And the star, smiling, went out.
There is no more star, but note
That the Earth is beautiful with its light.
("Fairy tale")

Like any creative person, Tatiana was tormented by her inexpressible pangs of creativity:
***
Sometimes it’s hard for the soul to pour out like that
And throw out everything that has accumulated in her.
And it’s useless to pray at this moment,
To bring back a moment of bright days.
(“The soul is like a violin”)
How close Tanya becomes, how dear she appears to us when she shares her feelings with us in the poem “Those minutes are gone forever.”

***
Those moments are gone forever
When I screamed out of anger,
And it’s a pity that they can’t be returned,
To brighten it up with at least a drop of goodness.

And something is forever gone,
And the faces became different,
And the wing became weaker,
And my life will not repeat itself.

Will disappear forever from the Earth
My smile and gait
Will get stuck in the early shallows
My invisible boat.

And it will become easy for someone,
And someone’s steps will become wider.
And someone took a tear with a handkerchief
Will sweep away for me in this world.

Cover themselves with a dusty veil
My notebooks with poems...
5.04.92

Fifteen years ago this poem was written so that 15 years later it would reach me, and not just reach me, but inspire me to do this work about the bright lyrics of Tatyana Snezhina. I discovered how many points of contact between our souls, how close Tanya became to me:
***
I won't come back here again,
Everything will remain as it was -
Books are scattered and sad
It gets into your eyes like soap...

I'm too far away
To shake hands goodbye.
And I don't understand it easily
Melt into this silence.

(“I won’t come back here”)
Just the scattered books that are everywhere in my apartment: on the floor, on the window, in the closets... brought us closer together, and I think forever:
***
A friend cannot deceive
It won't make you sad.
A friend will help you choose the path
At any crossroads.
("Friend")

Tatyana's friendly attitude towards the world manifests itself in these lines. A friendly attitude towards me, an unknown poetess and reader. Undeniably, she is alive, such a Soul cannot disappear without a trace - she is alive, she is nearby.
This is how Alla Pugacheva recalls the performance of the song “Call me with you”:
“When I approached the microphone... I don’t know what suddenly happened to me, but I had the feeling that it wasn’t me singing. Someone is singing in my voice! Believe it or not". I believe Alla Borisovna, I believe:

***
Above me in the quiet darkness
A sweet dream is swirling
And it sounds in silence
Moon saxophone.

Moon saxophone –
This is just a dream...
("Moonlight Saxophone")
I hope our meeting with Tatyana is not a dream. Although with my mind I understand that she is not there, but my soul repeats: “here, in her poems, open the book, read, and you are with her.”
Has any of us, at least once in our lives, asked ourselves the following questions: Why was this life given to us? What is such a life worth? So Tatyana faced the following questions:

***
Tell me, what is my life worth?
A couple of black and white drawings,
Yes, a few immature poems?
Answer me the truth, without concealment.
(“What is my life worth?”)

Not everything is always bright and good in life; Tatyana had such moments too. Here I would especially like to note that some psychotherapists and psychologists, for example, Valery Sinelnikov and Louise Hay, claim that thoughts build our future. More and more often I find confirmation of these statements:

***
The one who built the foundation of life,
I didn’t take into account that everything would be wrong -
The parchment does not burn with verses,
And the fire does not heat the canvases.

Having received what he deserved from fate,
I wanted to leave the world
Only God's Archangels are tight
They tied all the paths in a knot.

Life has given me bad weather,
Failures are all around – here and there!
I'd like to slash my wrist with a knife,
So again, they won’t let you leave.
(“He who built the foundation of life”)

Dali... as Dr. Sinelnikov states: “The universe doesn’t understand jokes.” Tanya wanted to leave, the Universe took her, but took her at the zenith of her happiness. Whether this is fair or unfair, we will not argue. Too many of Tatyana Snezhina’s poems are dedicated to her early departure. We have already discussed some of them with you. Maybe this is the answer to the many, many misfortunes that happen to us, maybe our misfortunes are invited by us?
And, nevertheless, I believe that Tatyana Snezhina’s lyrics are bright and... sad, sadness does not shade it at all, but, on the contrary, gives it such a high, gentle sound, as unique as everything associated with the name of T. Snezhina and her creativity:
Hope

My nameless one
Inseparable from the soul,
My lonely one
You are always, always with me.

And when I'm gone,
The whole world will melt for me,
Only you, my Hope,
You will not go to this land,
You will walk around the world...
9.12.92

And while Nadezhda T. Snezhina is alive, her charm, her Living Soul of the living poetic Word will live. And I would like to finish again with the words of Alla Pugacheva, addressed to young women: “Take care of yourself, think about the good.”
Elena Zaitseva
(13.04.07)

Preface to the first edition of the book
"Tatyana Snezhina. Call me with you" (1996).

“...But as long as there is a dream in your soul, a light in the distance and friends at your shoulder, you can walk through the fire and not get burned, swim across the ocean and not drown.”

With these lines, Tatyana finished her autobiography... The compilers of this poetry collection placed the autobiography written by Tanya before the introductory article, realizing that no one except the person himself could say something sincere and better about himself. But this text dates from February 12, 1995.

What happened next?

Arriving with a heart full of hope for friends whom she loved and who promised her much. But the betrayal of people, from those who called themselves her friends, whom she did not forget in this short story about her life, is an ordinary, banal betrayal and, therefore, not only wounding, but also killing something bright in the soul. And almost as a consequence of this - the collapse of dreams, faith, and creative plans. Anticipating the impending disaster, back in 1994 she wrote the following lines in her notebook:

Words scattered
Like the beads of old beads,
My head has cooled down
I won't be back again.

There was no longer a “dream in the soul”, “friends at the shoulder”, and the “light in the distance” was also ready to fade. For a moment, Tatyana stopped dreaming, stopped believing in justice, stopped creating. She said: “Why, who needs this, especially now when even I don’t need it.”

And the soul froze, and the words were out of place...
Thoughts in a swarm carry consciousness to hell.
Something was wrong, nothing can be returned,
And the torn sail calls on a strange path...

But these were emotions - the emotions of a young, vulnerable girl, the natural emotions of a common person. Of course, the soul suffers and is looking for a way out. Tanya writes again. But what appears from her pen is permeated with feelings of powerlessness in the face of the cruelty of life:

And again in this bustle,
In the stream of gray boring everyday life
I drink a drop of light in the dark -
Love and holidays are not the same...

End of February 1995. Tatyana, having overcome her disappointment, begins the search for a new creative team.

It was at this moment that Sergei appeared in her life, the man whom she fell in love with and with whom she would go into Eternity... But that will happen later, but for now, the successful Russian music producer Sergei Bugaev receives and listens to the audio material of the next “contender for the stage,” material by Tatyana Snezhina. As he later admitted more than once among his friends, a cassette with her songs quietly migrated from the walls of the studio to his car, and for several weeks he listened to Tanya’s songs, listened, forgetting for a moment that this was material for work. I listened like an ordinary person, listened to simple heartfelt words:

I'll draw in my album
Drawing in black and white with a simple pencil.
A high mountain with a sad house on it,
Sad sky and rain outside the window...

In the spring of 1995, Tatyana Snezhina received an offer from Sergei Bugaev to work in the M & L Art studio.

The first stages of this work were at first like endless battles - Tatyana did not like the arrangers’ interpretations of her songs, the arrangers, in turn, did not see “commercial prospects for promoting her material.” These frictions, which seemed to have no end, returned pain and disbelief to Tatiana’s soul, which began to subside after an unsuccessful period of work with the KiS studio.

And it's raining outside
Sadness pours onto the windows.
Everything will pass, of course,
I'm just sorry for the past...

At this critical moment, Tatyana was greatly helped by Bugaev’s talent and efficiency. Somewhere with patience, and somewhere with toughness, he achieved mutual understanding and a creative spirit in his team. Snezhina herself said: “The work proceeded in different ways. Sometimes we argue, even swear, but we always come to some kind of decision and result. If we are talking about my creativity, about what came out of me, then Sergei Ivanovich often gives in to me , allows me to express myself more, but if we are talking about the professional side, about the stage, arrangements - I trust Sergei Ivanovich more..." And new songs by Snezhina began to appear. They were born difficult, the work was carried out painstakingly and carefully. Some songs took 2-3 months to record, and it was so different from how it was done before, when “Moscow friends” managed to arrange and record 4-5 songs in a week.

In May 1995, Snezhina’s new song “Musician” debuted.

Musician until dawn
Sang this song to me.
I didn’t know what I would find,
But I wasn’t looking anymore
I'm on the way back...

And this audience began to appear: there were the first victories at various competitions, the first ovations and the first failures, the first television interviews and performances, fans. But Tatyana was not attracted to the external side of life and was not an end in itself. The main thing for her was to write songs and sing them for people, awakening long-forgotten feelings:

And somewhere in a wide open window
The soft light was burning, and, as if in a dream,
Snowflakes flew towards the light in the window
To the music that the gramophone hummed.

This is what she said in one of the interviews: “I don’t set super-goals, I just go step by step as long as I have enough strength and breath...” And these are not empty words. Snezhina was a very efficient and demanding person. She constantly tormented herself with the question that she was not living like that, that she had not done enough.

Tell me, what is my life worth?
A couple of black and white drawings,
Yes, a few immature poems?..

She created wherever she could, wrote poems on napkins in cafes, on tickets in transport. Snezhina’s family was literally in shock when her poems were everywhere, in notes, in paper waste, etc. She loved to say: “When I get tired of writing, I have a lot of time, then I’ll take up the old notes and process them.”

But life did not give her a break - studying at the institute, choreography classes, vocal lessons, rehearsals, recordings...

And it seemed that right now a lucky star was smiling at her - she had a job she loved, a talented producer and friend, a good creative team, a project was created to develop her creativity. It was planned to release a magnetic album in September, then a series of clips, and a laser disc abroad by winter. But, obviously remembering her difficult path to success, about the difficulties that young talents have to overcome, Tatyana, together with Sergei, creates a Charitable Cultural Fund to help young performers. There were many goals and tasks ahead, and she would have coped with them... But there was loneliness in her soul.

Loneliness is my age. Loneliness
Next to my name, like a patronymic.

And then Fate gave Snezhina another gift - Love. About two months after they met, Sergei told Tatyana that he loved her and intended to make her an official proposal to marry him. Two months later he did it and received consent.

People who surrounded this couple in the last months of their lives talked about how harmonious they were together: two beautiful people, a Russian singer, poetess and producer, caring for the glory of the Russian stage, a loving man and a loving woman. Sergei’s friends recall that it was as if wings had grown behind his back, that he was glowing from within and looked as if he had never been happier in the world. Tanya’s loved ones saw a sharp blossoming of girlish beauty and some kind of inner wisdom, as in a Russian fairy tale. They experienced a lot before meeting each other: betrayal of loved ones and dishonesty of friends, collapse of plans and loss of goals, disappointment in their work and powerlessness before the indifference of people - and now it seemed that they had found what they were looking for, what they were striving for - their the last pier, the pier of love and happiness.

At the end of the road - at the end of all worries,
At the end of the road - at the junction of all roads,
We will approach each other halfway,
And let's hold hands and not fall.

On August 15, 1995, the Europe Plus radio station will report on the upcoming wedding of Bugaev and Snezhina.

Tatyana and Sergey, momentarily forgetting about their creative plans, plunge into pleasant chores. We have already bought wedding rings and a wedding dress, and prepared invitations to friends. Tatyana gives wonderful lines to her lover:

Sorry, my faithful talisman,
That you keep me safe,
And I put you in my pocket,
Scratching with a fingernail shamelessly.

There was less than a month left before the wedding.

Television talked about this event and the young talented singer Tatyana Snezhina. A real shock for those gathered at this “party” were unexpectedly performed by Tatyana, instead of the expected pop songs, two romances “My Star” and “If I Die Before Time...”.

My star, don’t shine in sorrow,
Don't bare my soul in front of everyone,
Why does everyone need to know that you and I were married?
Both heavenly hell and immaculate sin.

She sang, and it is not known who was more shocked - the audience or those who, working with Tatyana, long and persistently rejected this side of her talent. One can only imagine how this would influence the future creative plans of her team. In three hours, Sergei and Tatyana will leave, and the last thing the public will hear from her lips will be the words of the romance:

If I die before my time,
Let the white swans carry me away
Far, far away, to an unknown land,
High, high, into the bright sky...

On August 18, 1995 at 5 p.m., they and their friends went on a pre-wedding trip to the Altai mountains.

The last of their loved ones to see their mutual happiness was Tanya’s mother, when she watched a small minibus from the window of her house. If only we all knew then that he was taking them away forever...

All we know about what happened is from scanty police reports and witness statements:

“On August 21, 1995, on the 106th kilometer of the Cherepanovskaya highway Barnaul - Novosibirsk, a Nissan minibus collided with a MAZ truck. As a result of this traffic accident, all six passengers of the minibus died without regaining consciousness: the director of the PIONEER MCC "Sergey Bugaev, singer Tatyana Snezhina, candidate of sciences Shamil Faizrakhmanov, director of the Master-vet pharmacy Igor Golovin, his wife, doctor Golovina Irina, and their five-year-old son Vladik."

At the scene of death, film taken by Tanya, Sergei and their friends on the last day of their lives was found. Many of the photographs were not spared by the blood of the dead, but the compilers of the book considered it necessary to include these photographs in the publication.

Manuscripts don't burn. Everything that was created by Tatyana Snezhina, this young and beautiful Russian girl, will remain with us. Her poems will remain, her songs will remain, the foundation, now named in her honor and in honor of her friend, will remain, her sincerity and kindness will remain, her soul will remain, bright as a wedding dress, which on that fateful day became a funeral dress, and pure, like a Russian one. snow.

The name of Tatyana Snezhina, along with other talented names, will no doubt soon become decisive for the new stage of Russian culture of the late twentieth century, the name of an entire poetic world that combines the energy of social renewal and the indestructible power of the poetic roots of Russia, the significance of which we already feel now, at a time of acute shortage of harmony and national culture.

The creativity of any talent is inextricably linked with its destiny. So both life and Snezhina’s songs are fused together, both bright and deeply tragic.

This collection includes songs and poems from different years. They reflect the author’s creative searches, her inner spiritual world throughout her life’s journey. Despite their obvious differences, they have a unifying tonality: almost all songs and poems are permeated by a sharp, soul-piercing sadness. They express a sense of the tragedy of life, internal pain and an excited, anxious state of the individual.

One should not think that the author of these stanzas specifically, for opportunistic reasons, was looking for pain points in order to impress the public. It is enough to take a closer look at the life around you to be convinced of this.

What surrounds us? A change in morals, a desire for material wealth as the only goal and main meaning of existence, an increased craving for ostentatious luxury, for prestige, for various types of entertainment. The outwardly catchy, superficial is valued immeasurably higher than the genuine, deep, significant.

Functionality and calculation penetrate into the realm of feelings. Another person needs a person only for “business”, not only in the social, but also in the intimate-spiritual sphere.

Life turns into a pursuit of pleasure. We constantly justify to ourselves a soulless, selfish, essentially empty existence. His main enemy is tenderness, affection, the need for someone, our love, which, however, often does not even have time to arise, turning out to be an obstacle to primitive pleasures.

It is becoming more and more difficult for close people to understand each other, they feel mutual alienation more and more acutely, conflicts break out more and more often, caused by the disruption of mental and spiritual contacts, and the desire for apparent simplicity and lightness. But what is simple and light, built without difficulty, turns out to be short-lived and fragile. Relationships between people turn out to be superficial and easily broken. And this is becoming the norm. Tragedy - Tragedy of the soul - becomes the norm.

For young women, the norm is the image of an unspiritualized thing that can be bought, and no matter what for, currency or rubles, the pleasures and ease of relationships, fame and career, a well-fed, prosperous life, an apartment in a prestigious area. The main thing is not to sell yourself short... Only the participants in such transactions do not understand that you can sell your body and life, but you cannot sell your soul; sooner or later it will remind itself. Will there be time left to understand this and change something?

The norm for men is the image of a playboy - many frivolous connections, lack of deep attachment to one person, simplicity and cynicism in solving life's problems. With such a man it’s easy... easy until insight comes. Often it comes very late, when the one who was the “black sheep,” a man “not of this world,” a modern Romeo, has already agreed to accept the conditions of the game that life has pushed him to. Having come to our senses, we try to return what we have lost, but we shudder with horror at the sight of the abyss, the bottomless emptiness that we ourselves have created. And again Tragedy, the tragedy of disbelief in the purity of human relationships, in the fact that there is something valuable in the world for which it is worth living, working, burning and being inspired. And we enter a vicious circle. This is the price to pay for the reluctance to overcome difficulties; personal ambitions are the price to pay for the desire to get everything at once and without problems.

And yet the pain from misunderstanding, from easily broken relationships between people is not the most important thing in Tanya’s work. She first of all sought to reveal the significance and depth of human feelings. Thus, she returned us to the true measure of man that we had lost - his soul, a great and enduring value. Each soul is unique and carries the whole world within itself. It is integral and unique in its essence, irreplaceable, and relegating it to the background in the play of life almost always turns into disaster in the personal, intimate sphere of life and takes on a deep tragic meaning.

Snezhina deeply personally perceived the tragedy of each person; this, perhaps, was her main “literary device”, the basis of her talent.

It is so customary that poetry publications are preceded by articles by critics or venerable writers, where texts are scrupulously, step by step, analyzed and a search for deep meaning is carried out. We will not do this, or rather, we will not be able to do this, just as we probably will not be able to measure the human soul, to fully comprehend human feelings.

Snezhina’s poetry is far from academic; rather, it is closer to folk songwriting. Of course, if you wish, you can find flaws in the style and rhymes of her poems, but no one can find falsehood and insincerity in them. Almost every poem was born as a song and has its own melody. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish where the song ends and the verse begins. It is a pity that the book cannot convey the uniqueness and beauty of her melodies and her voice. Just as it is almost impossible to listen to gypsy romances while sitting in a theater seat, so this book is unlikely to become just an decoration for a bookshelf. The destiny of her poetry is to live in the human heart along with the memory of this wonderful man, despite that fateful autumn of 1995.

This autumn came so early
Without asking or knocking,
Into the unhealed wound in the heart
She burst into a fiery whirlwind.

After Tanya's death, hundreds of sketches, unfinished songs and unfinished stanzas remained. But are they really unfinished? Maybe in their apparent incompleteness, in those ellipses that seem to break off a thought, lies all the wisdom, the depth of inner insight that she tried to convey to us.

And the soul is tired of pouring out
And keeps everything inside
So as not to fall and not break,
And don't crash into the void...

These dots are an invitation to us, the living, to find our own path, our only true path of the soul.

The star cried at night about what was gone forever,
About how she shone in vain and couldn’t reach the sun...

Why so much tragedy in the thoughts of a young, beautiful girl? I think it would be difficult to find among young poets one who would write as much about breakups and unhappy love as Snezhin.

I close the bible of my love...
It may not be read, but I must,
Gotta believe that I couldn't
Light a fire that burns to the ground.

I have to believe that I won't find it
My fallen star from heaven.
I must close my eyes and squeeze my heart,
Run as far away from love as possible.

The fire of feelings, it seems, is ready to incinerate the young heart of the poet Tessa, and we, on the wave of her emotions conveyed to us, believe that all this is happening to her, to Tatyana... Here it is, the true measure of talent - the ability to feel and experience it together with another joy or sorrow, to let someone else's pain pass through your heart, through your soul - the tragedy of someone else's soul. And make us believe that all this happened... Snezhina’s life experience is the experience of her soul in reading human destinies.

But even in the saddest poems she leaves hope for happiness. Every break with a loved one, every departure is a symbolic door to a new life, a reminder to us that through suffering and tolerance the human soul is purified.

And love is not love, and a dream is not a dream,
And the road with flowers turned out to be wrong...
Behind the fog of fate, behind the pitch darkness
The wind of strange hopes is arguing with me again...

Trying to make people kinder, awaken their souls, find harmony in the surrounding reality and encountering only well-fed indifference and cynical betrayal, she comes to the conclusion that in this world an encounter with evil is inevitable:

"...Where should a person go when he approaches the heavy doors of the hellish temple of Life? After all, behind the doors there is so much alluring, pulling, frightening, evil, good, beautiful and terrible... And you want to go to the alluring, good and beautiful, but on the way there is definitely something frightening, evil, terrible. And you want to avoid this evil, but you will still definitely encounter it on the way. Not now, but later..."

In search of a way out, her gaze involuntarily turns to the sky-high distances, beyond the horizon, to unknown lands. Her lyrics affirm, as one of the main creative themes, the theme of freedom, departure from the lived-in and familiar into the yet unknown. Such a desire for free flight speaks of the desire to find a place on earth, or in another world, where a person will be happy.

I won't take anything on the trip
And I’ll just look back on the threshold,
I'll leave everything on earth,
To become closer to the Lord God...

Dreaming of her little happiness, Tanya flies away in her thoughts either with a “night thunderstorm”, then with a “swallow in the sky”, or with an autumn leaf. Her dreams are sincere, and therefore in her poetry she easily merges with the world in which the romance of roads and adventures reigns, where simplicity and poverty are synonyms of sincerity and purity, where justice and harmony reign far from the bustle of the world.

But the path is only the path. And there is also a house. In her lyrics, this is not just a home, it is a whole world, where there are friends, loved ones, close people, where there is happiness and sorrow. Home is her roots, what nurtured and nourished her soul and creativity. And so we read:

I will return to that house with repentance
And I will kneel before the cross.
A holy prayer from sinful lips
I will cross out the silent silence.

She always returned home in her dreams and poems, she was unable to return only once in her life - on August 21, 1995 - Death interfered...

The confession did not have time to accept Tanya into its arms. But we are confident that her poetry will reach the hearts of people and this book will find its reader. And recognition will come...

Let me live without time
Let me live unrighteously.
Just now forgive me
And understand everything correctly.

Vadim Pechenkin,
January 1996, Moscow

* * * * *

Preface to the second edition of the book (2001).

"What is my life worth?" Who can evaluate? Are you yourself? Other people? Fate?

What do you need to put on the altar of Fate so that it gives you eternal life, life in the memory, hearts and minds of people? Probably your soul and talent.

In the days of the tragic events of August 1995, it seemed that with the passing of this beautiful girl, her Soul and her Creativity were leaving the world. But at the same time, no matter how blasphemous it may sound, with the advent of death, the perception of her lyrics suddenly became sharper, the understanding of her insight, her life Philosophy became deeper. To understand and love Life, you need Death to come... With each new day, with each reading of her lines, which sometimes sounded like a testament to those left to live, for loved ones, friends and admirers of her talent, the need to bring her poetry and music to people became obvious .

The light of her soul, reflected in her songs, did wonders for people - they became kinder... became part of her poetry... part of her world. Many in those days had the feeling that her soul was somewhere nearby... protecting and helping...

The Requiem Concert appears spontaneously. More than a dozen amateur and professional musicians gathered together in Novosibirsk to honor the memory of Tatyana and Sergei. Inspiration mixed with grief, enthusiasm - like a last tribute to the dead... And... it’s hard to believe in this, not a single flaw, neither organizational nor technical. No one in that hall could believe it... a hall filled with the souls of Tanya and Sergei.

Then the thought about Tanya’s unfinished song album.

In fact, her songs were officially released for the first time on the fortieth day after her death. In a short time, thanks to the honesty and enthusiasm of many people, T. Snezhina’s first magnetic album “Remember with me” was published. This symbolic name was invented by Tatyana herself during her work shortly before her death.

At the same time, the first documentary film about Tatyana Snezhina, “They Were Young,” was released. The creative team edited the film literally in one night; only one thing got in the way - tears. While working, everyone cried - both the director and the technical workers, but the film was built on HER songs, and this saved it.

In memory of the difficult fate of the young author and in continuation of the work started by Tatyana Snezhina and Sergei Bugaev, a “Charity Cultural Foundation” was created to support young talents in their name. Later, the annual “Silver Snowflake” prize named after T. Snezhina was established, awarded for the greatest contribution to supporting young talents.

In November 1996, inspired by her work, the team of the Veche publishing house, together with Tatyana's family, prepared and released the first edition of Snezhina's poetry collection - "What is my life worth?" These tape releases and books are not commercial, they were not intended for sale and therefore were not advertised. But in a short time, almost the entire circulation was distributed throughout Russia, books were searched for in libraries, tapes were copied from each other...

Some of the tapes and books fell into the hands of professionals that same year. Tanino’s creativity attracted the attention of such eminent and talented people as Igor Krutoy and Joseph Kobzon. Her songs are beginning to be performed by Russian pop stars. Already in December 1996, Snezhina’s song “Crossroads” performed by the duet “Taste of Honey” was included in the “hot ten” musical hits. Later, “Russian Radio Hit” places the same song in its album, but in the author’s performance. Magnetic albums of Lada Dance with the songs “Be with me” and “We are no more”, Alisa Mon with “Snowflake”, Mikhail Shufutinsky with the song “How Many Years”, again “Taste of Honey” with “Fantasy of Snow” and others appeared. Tanya's songs begin to be heard at concert venues in different cities and on the radio. They become dance hits at discos. And soon, two days before Tatyana’s birthday, on May 12, 1997, at about 12 noon, listeners of Russian Radio were shocked by Alla Pugacheva’s new song “Call me with you.”

At the festival of Slavic creativity in Vitebsk, the Prima Donna named the author - Tatyana Snezhina.

Then there was a victorious march of this song on radio and television programs, on pop stages and concert halls in Russia, near and far abroad. In many audiences, as soon as the first chords of this song began to sound, people stood up and listened while standing, sang along, chanted, and gave endless ovations.

It became clear to everyone that we had to prepare a concert.

The inspiration and creative enthusiasm of hundreds of people made it possible to quickly prepare and hold an inherently unique concert, which took place on November 5, 1997 in the State Central Concert Hall "Russia" to a full house. The country's best performers sang songs of a young author who had passed away, whose name only a few knew until recently. The state of the audience at the end of the concert could be described in one word - shock. Many cried, others were in a state of light sadness and enchanted by the music and sincerity of Tatyana’s feelings, which she conveyed to people through the songs and poems heard here. There was no one indifferent. It became clear that not just a new name in art was born, a new world was born - the world of Tatyana Snezhina.

“Musician” performed by Kristina Orbakaite, “Dream” by Tatyana Ovsienko, “Song for You” by Mikhail Shufutinsky, “There Was a Time” by Lev Leshchenko, “House on a High Mountain” by Lolita Milyavskaya, “What It’s Worth” immediately gained enormous popularity. my life" - Nikolai Trubach and many others, received by listeners as an encore.

We can safely say that it was from this moment that Tatyana’s soul received a rebirth. Society, shocked by the fate of this talent, once again thought about dozens of other young talents in which our country is so rich. The participants and organizers of the concert waived their fees, and the money was transferred to support young talents.

The television version of the concert (a television film in two parts) was aired on one of the central channels of Russian television at the end of December of the same year and was subsequently repeated several times at the request of viewers. Already in the new year of 1998, based on the materials of the concert, a double music album, “Call Me With You,” was released. It included twenty-two songs performed by Russian pop stars. This album broke all records for sales volumes and publications of so-called “pirated” copies.

Dozens of newspapers, television channels, and radio stations freely talked about the life and work of Tatyana Snezhina. The audience, shocked by the 22 songs that were performed from the stage and included in the album, were truly shocked to learn that they were taken almost at random from 200 written by a 23-year-old girl named Tatyana.

In 1997, 1998 and 1999, Tatyana Snezhina became the laureate of the All-Russian television music competition "Song of the Year". In 1998, Tatyana's work was presented in three categories of the National Russian Award "OVATION". At the award ceremony, the song “Call Me With You,” which was undoubtedly recognized as the hit of the year, was awarded the “golden palms.” Composer, People's Artist of Russia Igor Krutoy, being in the same nomination as Tatyana as the best composer of the year, solemnly refused to win in favor of Tanya. Her finest hour... Could... did she dream about this in her girlish dreams. Or maybe she was actually wiser and purer than us and this “vanity” would have been alien to her?

"It's just how you have to live,
To tirelessly give joy and love
To all those who are visiting here.
We are only guests in this life..."

Of course, as is always the case in show business, there was some speculation and conjecture. It got to the point that some “experts” argued that there was no such author and there could not have been, and the songs performed were the fruit of the work of an entire team of famous poets and composers.

"How difficult it is to live in this world,
Wait for happiness, believe and love.
How difficult it is to choose the right path,
Find out where is evil and where is good.”

But the people felt the truth in their souls. Enthusiastic letters came from all over the country, in which people often expressed gratitude for being able to gain access to Tatyana’s work, shared their sorrows and joys, and talked about the response in their hearts to Snezhina’s poetry.

"...don't regret what happened in the past,
Just try to remember
All that is most dear to you,
And those who will remember you."

Later, Tanya’s song “We are only guests in this life” became the final chord of Pugacheva’s revived Christmas meetings and a kind of symbol of the unity of creative people at the 2001 “Slavic Bazaar” in Vitebsk, where her listeners were the peoples and Presidents of three fraternal Slavic states - Russia, Ukraine and Belarus.

Love and interest in Snezhina’s work was not limited only to Russia. Her songs were heard in Ukraine, the Baltic states, Europe, and the United States of America. One singer from Japan sent a letter in which she said that Tanino’s work is in tune with her work, and the songs that have become firmly established in her repertoire are understandable and close to the Japanese listener.

Music collections began to be published, songs were sung during feasts and in karaoke halls.

The creative team began filming a new documentary about her fate.

Not only music lovers were drawn to Tanya’s works. Many people find in her texts both deep philosophical content and aptly noted and talentedly formulated tremulous states of the human soul, pure, kind feelings...

"Thank you to the will of Providence
In those short hours.
For those crazy moments
When we put it on the scales -
To the left - life, worries, glory,
To the right - tears, faith and love...
The cup that lay on the right
Was more significant again and again..."

People of various professions and ages - from teenagers to the elderly - find something of their own in Tanya’s poems and songs. Those few copies of books that have received free circulation are read to the gills. They want to read it, sing it. Literary readings and themed evenings about her work are dedicated to her. Both composers and students of music schools write music based on her poems. They create corners of T. Snezhina. They write poems about her, they want to imitate her.

A group of young climbers, in love with Tanya’s lyrics, made a “thematic” ascent to one of the previously unconquered mountain peaks of Altai. By right of discoverers, they gave it the name “Tatiana Snezhina Peak” and placed a capsule on the top with an act certifying this event and a book of her poems “What is my life worth?”

More than five years have passed since the release of the first poetry collection. Some materials were not included in the first edition. The idea of publishing a new collection was prompted by letters and reviews from many, many admirers of her talent, who had previously been unable to gain full access to her work.

My love is a missing miracle.
My children are notebooks with rotting poems.
My happiness is withered flowers on the grave.
My life is a memory that has found warmth in your souls...

Tanya said these words to her mother in a dream on the fortieth day after her death.

Now, when six years have already passed since Tatiana is no longer with us, we can firmly say that the memory of her has found warmth in millions and millions of human souls, which means HER LIFE CONTINUES...

Vadim Pechenkin,
Moscow, 2001