Russified China. Funny signs of Heihe city
Just a few decades ago, the city of Heihe did not exist at all. On the right bank of the Amur there was a tiny fishing village. On the other side of the river was the mighty Soviet Union and its city of Blagoveshchensk.
When this Union collapsed in the early nineties, portals between the countries opened, and a flow of Chinese goods poured into Russia. It was transported across the border by our citizens - former stokers, engineers and bosses: all at once mastered a new profession shuttle or, as they say in local slang - steel lanterns
The Chinese town on the other side was being built and expanded. Every newly opened store certainly had a Russian sign. So it happened that almost everything in this city is dubbed in Cyrillic. There is only one nuance - the Chinese cannot understand the full depth of our depths, which is why the signs are so funny. See for yourself and laugh to your heart's content!
1 This is exactly what Blagoveshchensk looks like, which was invaded by the Chinese, as rumors say. In fact, there is nothing Chinese there at all, except for restaurants and buses.
2 But in Heihe it’s the other way around - every sign, every sign, every bush is Russified.
3 And almost every resident knows a couple of words in the Puskin language. Friend, friend! Glasses nnada? Mixed fur coat, mink dad, beaver mom! Nidoraga!- can be heard from all sides. If you find yourself on the Heihe pedestrian street, you are in! Stay on the fairway, approaching either side of the street, you risk being attacked by local merchants, who are always hungry for a buyer, and even more so now.
4 In general, Russians are loved here. When they have money. They even erected a monument to the Russian buyer. On the other side, as you remember, there is a monument to the Russian shuttle.
5 And these girls should symbolize a Russian and a Chinese woman, but they turned out to be two Chinese women.
6 Walk, Russia!- say the Chinese. We will open restaurants, bars, shops for you and put up churches and nesting dolls.
7 Absolutely every sign is duplicated in Russian. As a rule, they write the type of store or services provided. They translate very often using Google, without consulting anyone or checking them. It doesn't always work out correctly.
8 Be careful. Pharmacies very often turn out to be sex shops inside. The Chinese also use a dildo as a sore throat remedy.
9 “Meng Hui” store. No comments.
10 In the whole city I found only a couple of shops that had the Latin alphabet instead of the Cyrillic alphabet.
11 Retail spaces look very different, from full-fledged stores to stalls. But a dear client definitely needs a red carpet.
12 Are you sitting? Strong? Let's start studying the signs in detail. Read carefully, even if everything seems normal from afar!
13 How many mistakes can you make in the word restaurant? At least fifteen! I have no doubt that the guests of the establishments told the owners about the mistakes. But nothing changes.
14 If there are three hotels in one house, only one of them will be a hotel. So they can’t even lick it from their neighbors?
15 Chingachgook Large rice, the center of caring eyes, kebab from Lida and an ultimatum sign. But it’s all clear what’s inside?
16 The church auto cosmetics salon “Two Deacons” is actually called “Two Dragons”. Just think - they got it mixed up. These letters are so complicated, the devil will break his leg. Not like hieroglyphs.
17 These are my favorite!
18 There is a pattern of calling your shops and restaurants after Russian women’s names. They spied on us. In Blagoveshchensk, every second bread stall is called either Tatyana or Svetlana.
19 In relation to Lenin, the restaurant should have been called “Nadyusha”.
20 But the name Katya is probably their favorite.
21 There is still a lot of beauty. Restaurant at Sasha’s, restaurant at Maxim’s, Restaurant at Yulia’s…only the Moscow restaurant stands out? So Sasha, Maxim, Yulia - these are all the names with which the Chinese themselves introduce themselves to us. They think that if we pronounce them Li Hun, we won’t remember them.
22 Not everyone knows about the existence of spaces and punctuation marks either.
23 If signs without errors are sometimes found, large texts are more difficult for the Chinese.
24 Well, this is pure poetry! I'll take a little liberties with the adaptation:
In the city of LJ, in the city of ZheZhe
do not smoke!
The cheapest! choose!
Electronic products on the first floor
25 The most honest store.
26 Colorful personalities hand out waste paper.
27 A hotel is not a toy!
28 Remember about long texts? They are the most stubborn. You cannot trust Chinese translators for more than one line. This is how you get rheumatic drugs, and Viagra for cracks.
29 Not a bad assortment for a pharmacy? Cheap and cheerful!
30 Adult sexual medical supplies. Let's play doctor?
31 Oil is traded not only on world commodity exchanges, but also like this, at retail. Oil in the Chinese sense is fruits, cereals and all kinds of groceries. So the ruble exchange rate fell because of the pumpkin.
32 Not all Chinese can even use a translator on the Internet. Go figure, the sign simply translates as “Printing services, business card printing.”
Such a beautiful city of Heihe. Did you like it?
Now that we're done with the signs, I can tell you about the city itself and what it is like. After all, it is the northernmost city in China. But that’s in the next report.
“Post from the past”: The border strip with Russia in China is a rather peculiar phenomenon. If you get into it from Russia, then on the one hand you end up abroad, on the other hand it’s as comfortable as home - everything is clear, everyone knows Russian. If you return from China, you are absolutely not happy - and not Russia or China, but who knows what. They include Manchuria, the city opposite Blagoveshchensk - Heihe, bordering Primorye Suifenhe, Dongning, etc. The most interesting thing is that having driven literally 20-30 km inland, you will no longer see any of this; all around you will be the real China, and not the one that is being created for Russian shuttles. A much smaller number of our fellow citizens are already getting there.
Since Russian Chinese often communicate with Russians at work and not only, they come up with different Russian names for themselves. Let's say that some Sun Huyun himself lives, and to our fellow citizens he introduces himself as Vasya or Styopa. Signs in Russian are perhaps the biggest attraction of border towns. To photograph all possible errors in these signs, there won’t be enough memory on the card. But among them there are real masterpieces. Sometimes it seems that the Chinese write so clumsily on purpose in order to amuse the Russians, and thereby attract them to their store.
2. Since the Chinese know few Russian words, the easiest way is to name the store by some name (Clothes “Pasha”, dresses “Yulia”, etc.)
5. My furniture!
7. Who should I call in “Russia”?
8. Branch of the "Snow Queen".
9. What kinder name can you give to the hotel?
11. to the heroine of the ball.
12. In a nightmare you wouldn’t see such curtains.
14. In a shopping center.
16. Hotel for real metalheads!
18. Chinese scientists and professors of the Russian language discovered in it a word beginning with a hard sign.
20. “Why do they laugh all the time when they pass by us? It’s a strange nation,” the owners of these shops probably think.
22. It is unlikely that a restaurant with such a name can be popular among Primorye residents.
The border strip with Russia in China is a rather peculiar phenomenon. If you get into it from Russia, then on the one hand you end up abroad, on the other - it’s as comfortable as home - everything is clear, everyone knows Russian. If you return from China, you are absolutely not happy - not Russia, not China, but who knows what. They include Manchuria, the city opposite Blagoveshchensk - Heihe, bordering Primorye Suifenhe, Dongning, etc. The most interesting thing is that having driven literally 20-30 km inland, you will no longer see any of this, all around you will be the real China, and not the one that is being created for Russian shuttles. A much smaller number of our fellow citizens are already getting there. 
Since Russian Chinese often communicate with Russians at work and not only, they come up with different Russian names for themselves. Let's say that some Sun Huyun himself lives, and to our fellow citizens he introduces himself as Vasya or Styopa. Signs in Russian are perhaps the biggest attraction of border towns. To photograph all possible errors in these signs is not enough memory on the card. But among them there are real masterpieces. Sometimes it seems that the Chinese write so clumsily on purpose in order to amuse the Russians, and thereby attract them to their store. Since the Chinese know few Russian words, the easiest way is to name the store by some name (clothes “Pasha”, dresses “Yulia”, etc.) 
Who should I call in "Russia"? 
Branch of the "Snow Queen" 
What kinder name can you give to a hotel? 
The Chinese are very partial to the heroine of Charles Perrault's fairy tale. Here you can trace her path from her stepdaughter: 
To the heroine of the ball: 
In a nightmare you wouldn’t see such curtains: 
In the mall 
A hotel for real metalheads! 
Chinese scientists - professors of the Russian language - discovered a word in it that begins with a hard sign 
“Why do they laugh all the time when they pass by us? Strange, however, they are a nation,” the owners of these shops probably think 
It is unlikely that a restaurant with such a name can be popular among Primorye residents 
Can the store be named better? 
The most sporting goods: plumbing fixtures, computers, televisions 
Options for using sex shops 
Well, really, it’s very convenient. He wanted to seduce a girl, first gave her elite tea, and then went to bed. And you can buy everything you need at once in one place 
So, now try to come up with the most original name possible for a shoe workshop? Did you come up with it? No, the Chinese are still ahead of you in originality 
It is difficult to understand what the author wanted to tell us with this work. Probably about the difficulty of perceiving a deep Russian soul no less deep than a Chinese one. 
Well, these creations seem to have been created by some kind of alien intelligence... 
