What day is considered 9 after death? Important days after death

Find out everything about 9 days after death - what this period means, what the customs are regarding it and what the relatives of the deceased need to do. Based on beliefs and religious scriptures, non-compliance with traditions can deprive the deceased of heavenly life after death, and inflict grave sin on his relatives.

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9 days after death - what does this date mean in Orthodoxy

It is known that in Orthodoxy it is customary to celebrate the third, ninth and fortieth day after the death of a person. The anniversary is also celebrated, and in some regions even six months after death. These are special days after the death of a person, and each of them has its own sacred meaning. Relatives should know and observe the traditions and customs that are associated with them.

The ordeal of the soul of Blessed Fedora, a fragment of a painting in the Kiev Pechersk Lavra

In these nine days, the soul still completes its journey begun during life. She is looking for a way to a new world. If the third day is considered the beginning of the afterlife, and the fortieth is its end, then the ninth is one of the most important stages of the posthumous journey.

The number 9 is one of the sacred numbers. It is known that there are nine ranks of angels in the angelic hierarchy. The ninth day after death is celebrated not only in honor of the deceased, but also in their honor - after all, it is the angels who will be the defenders at the Heavenly Court. They act as lawyers, asking God for mercy for each person.

After death and until the third day, the soul of the deceased is not far from the living. She is accompanied by a guardian angel. On the fourth, he escorts the deceased through the gates of heaven. Until the ninth day he is busy exploring Paradise. Without yet knowing its verdict, which God will pronounce on the fortieth day, the soul can find out what awaits it in Heaven or Hell. In Paradise, a person will find rest from the pain that he has tasted during his earthly life, as well as the pangs of conscience for the sins he has committed.

On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to bring the deceased to his throne. This is the day on which a person first appears before the Almighty with fear and trembling. After talking with God, he will go to Hell - until the fortieth day. Only after this journey through the afterlife does the Heavenly Judgment await the soul.

In addition, from the ninth to the fortieth day, the so-called ordeals of the soul occur. Together with her guardian angel, she must go through trials that may represent sinful temptations. If the soul passes the tests, the good half of his soul will overcome the evil one, and all lifetime sins will be forgiven to her at the Heavenly Court.

Nine days after death - meaning for the deceased

Souls contain everything that is in heaven, and much more (Balmont K.D.)

The meaning of 9 days after death is very important for the soul of the deceased. At this time, he is busy searching for the path he has to follow. It's hard to say what it will be like. Some believe in the rebirth of the soul after death. Judging by the literature on reincarnation, from the third day to the fortieth day, she is busy reviewing and analyzing her life mistakes. In addition, there is a theory that the soul itself makes a decision about what its next incarnation will be.

If you follow Christian sources, the righteous are destined for Paradise, and sinners are destined for torment in Hell. But, one way or another, the soul of the deceased on the ninth day is still busy searching for the continuation of its path. At this time, the relatives of the deceased should try to release him. Of course, it is impossible to completely forget about pain and suffering - any loss is saturated with these feelings. But calming the souls of the living will benefit the deceased; try to benefit him with prayers, not tears. He will be able to find peace, stop worrying about the living and go to where he now belongs.

In the Orthodox tradition, it is generally accepted that from the fourth to the ninth days the soul is shown Heaven, and then, from the ninth to the fortieth days - Hell. On the ninth day, the deceased completely forgets about all the sorrow that he felt during earthly life. He also forgets about bodily pain. Sinful souls at this time begin to experience true repentance. That is why the prayers of family and friends are important on this day - the deceased will need the support of relatives.

In addition, they will also come in handy because at this time he appears before God for the first time. That is why it is customary to order prayer services, arrange funeral services, read prayers, and also help the deceased pass afterlife tests in other ways. During church services, it is also customary to pray for the soul to join the number of angels. This way your relative can become your guardian angel. Pagans believe that deceased ancestors are always nearby and ready to help.

Tradition of commemoration on the 9th day after death

An obligatory component of any wake is kutia, a traditional ritual dish, which even some holidays cannot do without. For a funeral meal, it is supposed to be prepared from wheat and sugar or honey. Sometimes kutya is cooked from rice. This is not just a sweet dish for a feast. It has a sacred meaning.

Seeds mean the birth of new life. They symbolize the resurrection of a person in the afterlife, and possibly in the next incarnation. Sugar, honey or jam symbolize the sweetness of life after death. It is advisable to consecrate the finished dish in the church, but this is not always possible. Therefore, it is considered sufficient to sprinkle it with holy water.

Compote or jelly must be on the funeral table; sometimes kvass is served. They also serve any porridge except kutya. Sometimes pancakes are prepared for funerals; more often you can see pies with sweet filling. Fish dishes are not prohibited - sandwiches with sprats, fish pies, herring and other cold snacks. Roast and noodles with poultry, cutlets are also often found on funeral tables. Borscht is usually served as a first course.

The wake on the 9th day after death is uninvited. It is not customary to invite guests to them; they come on their own, uninvited. Any person who wishes to remember the deceased can appear. According to tradition, the closest relatives must be present, as well as the people who washed the deceased, made the coffin and dug the grave. In the old days, this was done by neighbors, family friends and co-workers. Now people from funeral bureaus are doing this, so the tradition has lost its meaning. It is much better to entrust this matter to specialists than to make a mistake at a funeral. If you believe the signs, some of them can cost your life.

The feast on a sad occasion begins with the reading of the “Our Father” prayer. You can read aloud, repeating after the closest relatives of the deceased, or you can pray in a whisper or to yourself. Only after prayer can the first course be served. It should be kutya.

There are few rules regarding the dishes and drinks that should be served on the table, and they are very easy to remember. Alcohol is prohibited. Vodka is served at most wakes, but this is not allowed. Drunkenness is a sin. At a wake, indulging in this sin can seriously harm the soul of the deceased. That is why signs about cemeteries do not advise bringing alcohol to graves.

You should not overdo it with dishes. Among the things that 9 days after the death of a person mean is preparation for the Heavenly Court and, accordingly, the consideration of all his sins. Gluttony is one of the sins. Therefore, you should not sin in honor of the deceased, this will negatively affect his posthumous existence. The table should be modest, without frills. The fact of eating does not matter. The only important thing is that people gathered to remember the deceased and support his relatives.

Despite the desire to rid the funeral table of luxury, it is extremely difficult to calculate the amount of food so that nothing is left. In addition, for 9 days the number of guests cannot be predicted - they come uninvited, at will. If there is food or groceries left after the funeral feast, they should be distributed to the poor. In any case, you cannot throw them away.

As at the very first wake, it is forbidden to laugh or have fun at the table, much less organize choral singing. You cannot remember bad deeds, negative addictions and habits, as well as character traits of the deceased. Until the fortieth day, a decision will be made about where his soul will be - in Heaven or Hell. Negative memories expressed out loud will tip the scales towards a terrible verdict.

The appearance of the people who are going to honor the memory of the deceased is of great importance. Women are supposed to cover their heads with scarves, collecting their hair underneath. Men are not allowed to wear hats in the memorial room; they must be removed upon entry. Nowadays, only close relatives cover their heads during funerals; as a rule, these are black mourning scarves.

What do the relatives of the deceased do for 9 days after death?

What they do for 9 days after death is the work of relatives, which will benefit the deceased in the afterlife. Whether he ends up in Heaven or Hell depends not only on his actions. Relatives and close friends also play a role. What does the ninth day after death mean? In fact, on this day people and angels unite in order to help the deceased get to Heaven. Therefore, you cannot treat memorial days as a formality. This is the time when the living are able to help the soul that is in the afterlife.

For a believer, going to church on the 9th day after the death of a loved one is mandatory. There you need not only to order a prayer service and light a candle for the repose. You should pray near the icons for the mercy of God and the help of angels at the Heavenly Court. You can pray at home, but in most cases a service for the repose is ordered - which in any case is associated with going to church.

Prayers for the repose of the soul and for God to be merciful to it and allow it to be in Paradise can be read not only by relatives. The more people pray for the soul of the deceased, the greater the likelihood of a positive verdict at the Heavenly Court. You can turn to God, and to angels, and to Saints.

In addition, closer to noon you should visit the grave of the deceased. Put things in order, remove the trash, bring flowers and wreaths. Light a candle in the lamp. You can invite a priest to perform a litia - a special service that is held over the grave. If this is not possible, read the prayer yourself. Refrain from talking about unrelated topics. When visiting a grave, it is better to remember the deceased - out loud or mentally.

It is forbidden to hold a wake in a cemetery - this is prohibited by ancient superstitions about funerals and cemeteries. Priests do not recommend doing this either. They attract special attention to drinking alcoholic beverages. Do not harm the soul of the deceased, wait for the wake. You cannot leave alcohol in a glass near the grave, much less pour it on the mound. You can leave a “lunch”, which may include sweets and other treats. Most often, what is left is what is served at the wake on the same day. Sweets and baked goods are also distributed to strangers at the cemetery so that they remember the deceased.

Both at wakes and in conversations, one is supposed to remember only the good deeds of the deceased. Now God is especially attentive to all his bad deeds, and he must hear that the living have an extremely positive opinion of this person. A bad word said at the wrong time or a negative memory can ruin everything.

It is advisable to give alms to the poor on this day. It could be money or food - it's up to you. As mentioned above, you can donate food that is left after the funeral.

In the house, as in the cemetery, you can put a lamp in honor of the deceased, as well as a glass of water and bread. Usually these signs of attention are located near his portrait, decorated with a black mourning ribbon. On the ninth day, you can remove the curtains from the mirrors in all rooms except the bedroom of the deceased.

How are 9 days counted after death?

Calculating nine days after death is very simple. The first day is the day of death. Even if a person died late in the evening or at night, provided that the death occurred before midnight. This same day will subsequently become the anniversary of death.

According to medical statistics, most deaths occur between 3 and 4 am. This time is called the time “between the wolf and the fox.” You should know that when calculating days, you should take into account the same date that can be seen on the calendar at this time - as in all other date calculations, the new day in the case of death begins after midnight.

However, the mathematical addition of the number 9 to the date of death is incorrect. Let's assume that a person died on January 18, and add 9 to this date:

But in fact, nine days for this deceased come not on January 27, but on January 26. This date does not depend on the date of the funeral. According to tradition, they are buried three days after death. But it also happens that the funeral takes place on the fifth or even sixth day after death. The onset of the ninth or fortieth day does not depend on this; it is counted only by the day of death.

How are 9 days after death counted if a person died during Lent? Such calculations are needed only by believers who fast. At this time, if nineteen falls on a weekday, it must be moved to the next weekend.

In general, every person should know funeral and memorial traditions. This knowledge cannot be called desirable, and hardly anyone will want to learn this without special need. But, as sad as it is to realize, every person will sooner or later have to bury their relatives and friends. This means that you will have to deal with funerals and wakes. Knowing what relatives should do on nine days and what the wake should be like, you will help the soul of the deceased in the next world. Remember that it is not easy for him there either - it is at this time that the ordeals of the soul begin. His future in the afterlife depends on how he proves himself during these trials.

For Orthodox Christians, commemoration of the dead occurs on the ninth and fortieth days after death. Why?

The clergy answer this question in detail. According to church canons, the time from the moment of repose directly to the ninth is called the design of the “body of eternity.” During this period, the deceased is taken to “special places” in heaven. And in the world of the living, relatives and clergy conduct various funeral ceremonies.

What happens in the first 9 days after death?

In these very first 9 days after death the deceased can observe the people around them, see and hear them. Thus, the soul forever says goodbye to life in this world, to life on earth, gradually losing these opportunities and thereby moving away from the world of the living. Therefore, it is no coincidence that memorial services are ordered on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. These days represent special milestones that every soul passes when leaving our world.

After the nine-day mark, the soul goes to hell in order to see the torment of unrepentant sinners. As a rule, the soul does not yet know what kind of fate is in store for it, and the terrible torment that will appear before its eyes will have to shake it and make it fear its fate. But not every soul is given such a chance. Some go straight to hell without worshiping God, which occurs on the third day. These souls delayed the ordeal.

Ordeals are posts where souls are detained by demons, or they are also called the princes of ordeals. There are twenty such posts. Demons gather at each one and expose to the soul all the sins it has committed. At the same time, the soul does not remain completely defenseless.

Guardian angels are always nearby in these difficult moments.
The Guardian Angel represents to the demons the good deeds of the soul that are opposite to sins. For example, generous assistance can be pitted against accusations of greed. Blessed Theodora, whose authority deserves attention, testifies that most often people get stuck in ordeals because of adultery. Because this topic is so personal and shameful, people are often sensitive about having to talk about it in confession.

And this sin remains hidden, thereby erasing the entire confession. Therefore, demons win the war for their lives. No matter what actions you have committed, no matter how ashamed you are of them (this also applies to your intimate life), you must fully confess to the priest, otherwise the entire confession will not be counted.

If the soul does not go through all the ordeals, demons take it straight to hell. There she remains until the Last Judgment. Relatives and friends of the deceased can soften the fate of his soul with prayers, so it is better to order a commemoration in the church.

Then she is shown all the beauties of paradise, in comparison with which earthly joys simply fade. The happiness that becomes available to a person in heaven is incomparable to anything. That's what the saints say.

Pure and beautiful nature, as it was before the fall of man, the fulfillment of all desires, righteous people who are all together, everything you can dream of - this is paradise. In hell there is none of this and all people are alone.

On the ninth day, the soul is brought down to hell as a spectator.

Having been in paradise and seen the righteous there, a person realizes that he deserves hell more than heaven because of his sins, so the soul awaits with great trepidation the period of 9 days after death. Prayer is very important here, with which loved ones help the soul. It is important to acquire a close connection with the soul of the deceased so that the verdict is rendered in favor of the Holy Place. You should order a service in the church so that your loved one has support from you.

Also at this time, you can think about how to arrange the burial site, for example.

9 days after death - commemoration of loved ones

The first 9 days after death are very difficult for the soul of the deceased person, so help your loved ones, order a memorial in the church, and you will feel better and calmer for your loved one and the soul of the deceased will be calm and peaceful. Not only church prayer is important, but also your personal one. Ask your father for help. He will help you master the special rules for reading the Psalter.

The custom of remembering loved ones at meals has been known since ancient times. Often, a wake is an occasion for relatives to get together, eat deliciously, and discuss business. In fact, people gather at the funeral table for a reason. Orthodox Christians should pray for those loved ones who have left the earthly world. Before starting a meal, it is necessary to perform a lithium without fail. This is a small rite of requiem, it can be performed by a layman. You can read Psalm 90 and Our Father.

Kutia is the first dish, which is actually eaten at the funeral. It is usually prepared from boiled wheat or rice grains with honey and raisins. The grain is a symbol of resurrection, and honey is the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in paradise. Kutya should be consecrated during the funeral service with a special rite; if this is not possible, it should be sprinkled with holy water.

The desire of the owners to provide everyone who came to the funeral with a tasty treat is understandable, but it does not exempt them from observing the fasts established by the Church. On Wednesday, Friday and, accordingly, during long fasts, eat only permitted food. If during Lent a funeral service falls on a weekday, it should be moved to Saturday or Sunday.

The pagan custom of drinking at graves has nothing in common with Orthodox customs. Every Christian knows that what brings joy to our deceased loved ones is prayer for them and the piety we bring, and not the amount of alcohol we drink.
At home, during the funeral meal, after the funeral service, a small glass of wine is allowed, which will be accompanied by a kind word addressed to the deceased. Do not forget that this is a completely optional thing at a wake. But other alcohol should be avoided altogether, as it will distract from the wake itself.

In Orthodoxy, the first to be seated at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, old women and children. You can also distribute the deceased’s belongings and clothes. You can hear many stories about cases when the charity of relatives helped the deceased, and received confirmation of this from the afterlife. Therefore, you can help the deceased by giving your savings to alms in order to benefit the soul in the afterlife.

The loss of a loved one can change your worldview, help you gain the desire to become a true Orthodox Christian, and take your very first step on the path to God. Start now to cleanse your soul, to confess, so that in the afterlife good deeds will prevail over sins.

It is believed that for the first 9 days after death, the spiritual shell of the deceased is still tied to mortal life and can feel the grief of loved ones. This connection is finally broken only at the forties, which determine the subtle essence’s place of permanent residence in the afterlife. Understanding the difficulties that the soul goes through after leaving the body is very important for those remaining on earth, because all this time the spirit of the deceased needs proper support.

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What does the 9th day after death mean in Christianity?

The entire period of the inextricable posthumous connection of the soul of the deceased with the world of the living is divided into three segments: 3, 9 and 40 days from death. The spirit spends the first period of time almost all the time near the house where it left the body, or not far from the coffin. He hears all the words and thoughts addressed to him through people’s conversations about the deceased, and draws the first conclusions about the sinfulness of his earthly existence.

From the first minute of existence outside the body, his Guardian Angel is next to the deceased, accompanied by whom the soul visits memorable places of its life and says goodbye to loved ones. He sees all the preparations for the funeral and, according to esotericists, can even correct events by appearing in dreams to relatives.

From the third day to the fortieth day, the human soul moves in strict accordance with the algorithm of the posthumous program, the same for everyone. Symbolically, the beginning of the journey of the deceased is considered the moment the coffin is lowered into the grave. But even if on the third day the body has not yet been transferred to the earth, the soul still loses its attachment to it and passes into another dimension.

On the path to Eternity, the deceased faces 20 trials (ordeals), during which demonic forces question the soul about all its sins committed in human form. If for at least half of the mentioned bad deeds there are not as many good deeds, the journey ends with the sinner’s immediate descent into hell. If the trials are completed successfully, the spirit of the deceased is allowed to meet with God, and he is allowed to stay in the Gardens of Eden among the righteous for six days.

Passing the milestone of the ninth day is considered the most important thing that happens to the soul in its intermediate state. Having worshiped God for the second time, the human essence is conveyed by angels to the Valhallas of the opposite hypostasis - to hell. The prayers of relatives and the memorial service, which is served in the temple on this day for the deceased, help the soul in its difficult 39-day journey through the levels of the underworld and are an absentee request to the Lord to have mercy on the sinner.

The absence of a wake and memorial service on the 9th day after death means that the person neglected life as God’s gift and passed through it aimlessly, or did a lot of evil and turned people against himself. In Orthodoxy, both are considered grave sins that require justification before the throne of the Lord on the fortieth day from the date of repose.

Features of organizing the wake of the ninth day

The customs of Christianity take into account all the difficulties that the soul will have to face at the crossroads between heaven and hell. Each ritual action, from a church ceremony to eating food at the funeral table, is accompanied by special prayers and words that send a positive message to the energy space where the subtle essence is located.

The closest relatives of the deceased, organizing the burial and commemoration, must follow certain rules for conducting rituals and understand the sacred meaning of the actions performed, otherwise they will not bring any benefit to the soul of the deceased.

Funeral service in the church

The morning of the 9th day after the death of a baptized person for the relatives of the deceased begins in the church, because with the onset of dawn the soul appears before the eyes of the Lord and it requires powerful energy recharge in order to cope with subsequent trials. Human and angelic prayers are heard in unison during the service. The more of these voices there are, the easier it will be for the soul of the deceased.

The prayer, read only on the occasion of the ninth day, should be learned by heart and read several times: when placing a candle in a tetrapod (a special candlestick in front of a table with funeral dishes), leaving the service and coming home.

A note is written in advance with the name of the deceased. It should be placed on the table next to the brought products. If the event does not overlap with fast days, then the following is placed in the commemoration basket:

various sweets;
meat;
fish;
milk;
eggs;
cheeses and sausages;
bread and cereal products.

During Lent, the list of foods allowed for an Orthodox person is smaller:

cereals;
flour;
vegetables and fruits;
mushrooms.

Before placing the memorial you brought on the table and buying candles, you need to agree with the server about holding a memorial service. This is especially true for small chapels, where the priest is alone and needs time to prepare.

Funeral dinner and associated signs

In the old days, only those who were directly involved in preparing the deceased for burial were deliberately invited to commemorate the “nine”: they washed the corpse, made a “domina” (coffin), and installed a cross on the grave. The rest of the “guests” came uninvited, and it was impossible to refuse anyone - neither an enemy nor a stranger. In the modern world, people do not go to such events themselves, for fear of being an unexpected burden, so it would not be a departure from tradition to call all your friends in advance and notify them of the place and time of the funeral.

Wherever a funeral dinner is served, enough food is prepared to accommodate the maximum number of people. Elderly guests and children are seated at the table first; the hosts eat last. Before the appearance of the main dish - the funeral kutia - a lithium is required. It can be carried out by any of those present, organizing a general reading of the Lord’s Prayer or the Ninetieth Psalm.

What, according to the canons of the church, is welcomed at the funeral table:

borsch;
cabbage rolls;
peppers stuffed with vegetables or meat;
cutlets;
roast;
stewed or fried mushrooms;
pies made from unleavened dough (snacks) and sweet;
mixed vegetable salads;
potatoes or porridge;
fried or stewed fish;
simple sandwiches with sausage and cheese.

Compote or jelly, funeral kolev made from pearl barley or rice, and inexpensive sweets must be present.

Kutya, symbolizing the resurrection and the sweetness of being in paradise, should be consecrated in the church during a memorial service.

But here’s what you can’t submit for “nineties”:

any alcohol;
coffee;
store-bought juices;
seafood delicacies (shrimp, squid, oysters);
complex “holiday” salads;
whole roasted poultry or piglets;
expensive sweets in elegant boxes;
pastries or cakes.

Culinary delights, like drinking alcohol at a wake, are considered a sin of gluttony, falling on the shoulders of the soul of the deceased, which only worsens his situation. The food left over after the funeral is not thrown away, but taken to church or distributed to the poor. Candies, fruits and other sweets, in addition, are poured out to children to commemorate their souls.

Rules and traditions associated with the date

Most of the rules of behavior during a wake now apply only to the relatives of the deceased, although previously everyone who came followed them. This applies, in particular, to the appearance of women who are required to wear headscarves indoors, with their hair completely hidden under them. Men should not be in the house with their heads covered.

Guests decide for themselves whether to go to the cemetery on this day or not. It is not customary to bring flowers to the house of the deceased after others have arrived from the burial site - and wreaths and flowers should be left at the grave.

A few more Christian signs regarding visiting a grave on the 9th day after a person’s death:

eating and drinking alcohol in a cemetery contradicts the canons of Orthodoxy;
You cannot pour vodka on a grave mound or leave alcohol in a shot glass;
money, food, and alcohol are not given to the priest at the cemetery - you can invite the priest home or perform all the necessary actions in advance;
when leaving the cemetery, you can light a lamp on the grave, leave a glass of water with a piece of bread or a saucer with kutya;
on the way back, it is advisable to give as much as possible to the poor and distribute some sweets to the children you meet, while saying: “Remember the servant of God (name)”;
both in the cemetery and at home, you need to speak more often about the deceased with kind words, remember his good deeds and positive personal qualities.

When guests arrive, the house is cleaned in strict accordance with the occasion. You can place a portrait of the deceased with a lamp lit in front of him on a small table, and cover the extra pieces of furniture with black crepe. Hanging mirrors in the house after a funeral is considered controversial. The need for such an action is not commented on by the church and refers to the ancestral traditions of the ancient Slavs, who consider the mirror surface to be an entrance to another world.

The custom of “seating the deceased” at the funeral table, accepted by some families, is also not condemned by Christianity. To do this, diners vacate a place of honor at the head of the table and place a full cutlery with food there.

How to calculate the day of a funeral?

When calculating the date on which the day of remembrance of the deceased will fall, one should also take into account the day of death itself, which lasts until midnight. Example: if a person died on March 10 at 23:00, then the “nine” falls on March 18, and not 19, as would happen if 9 were added to 10. But if death occurred a few minutes after midnight, then the count would have been carried out from the newly arrived date.

If a Christian believer dies on a weekday during Lent, the ninth day of commemoration is moved to the next Saturday or Sunday. However, if a person did not fast during his lifetime, this rule can be neglected.

It is impossible to celebrate nine days before. The soul of the deceased, being in heaven, does not yet need the support that it will need later.

Many people, paying tribute to modern traditions and fearing condemnation from others, after the death of a loved one are immersed in worries about maintaining the external surroundings and do not think at all about the spiritual component of the rituals. It should be remembered that for the deceased it is not the richly laid table that is important, but the prayer read together over the food. And the danger for a soul who has set out on a difficult journey lies not in the small number of guests at the funeral, but in the absence of kind words from those who came to honor his memory.

The value of any life largely correlates with the fact that it ends sooner or later. According to Orthodox tradition, after the funeral the soul of the deceased awaits a transition to another world. It is believed that the future fate of a person depends not only on the acts he committed during his lifetime, but also on how his relatives and friends remember him. The 9th and 40th days after death are of particular importance for the self-determination of the soul in the afterlife. So how should they be celebrated?

General rules for funerals

Orthodox Christians organize funerals to pay tribute to a deceased relative. People remember the good deeds a person did during his lifetime and note his positive qualities. At a wake, you should never make a scandal, argue or quarrel. Negative emotions of relatives and friends, as they say, can complicate the path of the soul of the deceased to a better world.

For the same reason, sobs, despair and loud regrets about the departure of a loved one are inappropriate. In the Orthodox tradition, death is considered an inevitable and natural outcome of life; it is not a tragedy at all. Believers believe that a good person should not fear God's judgment. Therefore, at a wake it is customary to behave calmly, restrainedly and kindly.

A joint meal brings together relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased. It is not allowed to send out invitations to funerals. It is believed that everyone to whom this is important should inquire about the place and time of this event themselves. But it is not forbidden to casually mention in a conversation the efforts that relatives are busy with regarding the organization of a funeral meal. This will tell the person that he should come if he himself considers it necessary to attend this event.

Despite Russian table traditions, Orthodox funerals do not involve the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Although this rule is often violated, because the popular ideas about a worthy send-off of the deceased to another world in this matter do not coincide with religious canons. But in any case, the wake should not turn into a banal drinking session, because this is a sacred event, and not a reason for fun and dancing.

As a rule, it is customary to dress modestly at a wake, in dark-colored clothing. Scarves are required for women. If the deceased was an elderly person, then the relatives of the deceased mourn for 40 days from the moment of his death. Young people who tragically passed away - husbands, wives, children - are mourned for up to 1 year, all this time adhering to dark tones in clothing.

9 days - the ordeal of the soul begins

According to religious canons, on the ninth day after death, the so-called ordeal of the soul begins, when it overcomes various obstacles created by sins. Angels help the deceased in this. As a result, the good deeds a person has done during his lifetime must outweigh his bad deeds.

The funeral, organized on the 9th day, is designed to help the soul of the deceased overcome all obstacles on the path to eternal life. Therefore, on this date, relatives order a funeral prayer service in the church, light candles in front of the icons and read prayers so that the Almighty will accept the soul of the deceased into His Kingdom. And in the house you can light a lamp in memory of the departed person.

On this day, relatives and everyone who feels the need to visit the grave and bring flowers there. It is believed that for a person whose soul has begun the stage of repentance and cleansing from sins, it is important how the living remember him and whether they pray for him.

An obligatory dish during a funeral meal is kutia. This is porridge, which is prepared from whole wheat grains (less often from barley, rice or other cereals) with the addition of nuts, raisins or other sweets, the dish is poured with honey or honey syrup. As a rule, kutya is served at the very beginning of the wake.

The list of treats offered to guests on day 9 varies depending on the region of Russia. But there are also general points. Immediately after kutya, the first course is served - soup or cabbage soup. The second can be meat or lean, it all depends on what time the commemoration occurred. In addition, fish dishes and jelly are often on the table. And the meal ends with pancakes or pancakes.

Drinks that are traditionally drunk at funerals include compote, kvass and jelly. The owners can also prepare various porridges, pies, cabbage rolls, stuffed peppers, and vegetable salads. In addition, there are usually apples and other fruits on the table.

On the 9th day after the death of a relative, it is customary to give alms to people in churches and cemeteries with a request to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Treats left over from the wake are also distributed.

40 days - final goodbye

A very important milestone in saying goodbye to the deceased is 40 days after his death. It is at this time that the human soul is believed to finally leave our mortal world. For Orthodox Christians, this is a significant date that separates earthly life from eternal life.

After 40 days, the soul can visit places important to it for the last time, see relatives and friends, and then in Heaven the final decision is made on the future fate of the deceased. Therefore, these commemorations are very important, because the kind words spoken by people about the deceased will certainly be taken into account by the High Court.

On this day, you should definitely order a funeral service in the church and pray for the soul of the deceased. During the funeral meal, it is prohibited not only to drink alcoholic beverages, but also to sing songs and have fun. The meal, as a rule, differs little from the 9-day funeral, except that instead of the first course, a variety of salads are served. Kutya and rich pancakes or pancakes are obligatory dishes of this meal.

At the table for 40 days, it is customary to remember not only the deceased, but also other relatives who have left the world of the living in the foreseeable past. Guests take turns delivering funeral speeches. And the person who is given the floor must stand up. Then the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

For 40 days, the things of the deceased should be distributed to those who need them. At the same time, people are asked to remember the deceased with a kind word. Relatives keep only photographs and other items that are valuable as a memory of a loved one. If no one took one of the deceased’s things, then it should not be thrown away, but should be taken to a temple or given to charity.

The wake (9 days) is the next obligatory stage after the burial. Although it originated in the Christian religion, everyone adheres to this tradition. So how to spend a wake for 9 days? What are the features of the ritual?

Memorial service

If the deceased was a Christian, then you definitely need to go to church. It is believed that

at this time the soul can still visit the places of its earthly habitat. She completes the work that a person did not have time to do during his lifetime. He says goodbye to someone, asks for forgiveness from someone. A prayer service held at this time according to all church traditions helps to calm the soul and unite it with God.

It is advisable that the wake (9 days) and relatives begin with an appeal to the Lord. In a short prayer, you should ask the Almighty to forgive all the sins of the deceased and place him in the Kingdom of Heaven. This has always been part of the ritual. In the temple they light candles for the remembrance of the soul. There is a special place for this. If you don’t know, then consult a temple minister. But usually you can determine it yourself. The platform for has a rectangular shape (all others are round). Nearby there is a printed text of the prayer. Don't be lazy, read it.

What do 9 days of commemoration mean?

In Christianity, the path of the soul to the Lord is described in sufficient detail. So, in the first days, the Angels show her what life is like in Paradise. The ninth is the time, so to speak, of the exam. The soul appears before the Lord, who determines its future fate. It is believed that sinners are afraid and tormented, finally realizing how mediocre they are

wasted their energy. The righteous may also suffer from not knowing whether their path in life will be approved by the Lord. Help for the soul of the deceased is extremely necessary during this period. Relatives with their prayers can help her cleanse herself and receive a “pass” to Paradise.

In Christian traditions, 9 days of commemoration are considered very important, since this is the last duty, the final stage of the earthly existence of the soul. After the Lord assigns her to Heaven or Hell, the living will be practically unable to help her. The clergy say that 9 days is almost a holiday! Because at this time the soul finds its shelter. It is imperative to pray that her stay in that world will be comfortable.

Funeral dinner

A trip to the cemetery is mainly for those closest to you. And those who want to express their respect to the deceased and his family members are invited to see him off modestly. The first, second and compote are prepared. IN

In Christianity, neither all kinds of snacks and salads, nor alcohol are accepted. Traditions with a hundred grams and a piece of bread arose in very difficult times, when there was no other way to relieve stress. Nowadays there is no need to drink alcohol at funerals, and it is not encouraged.

Of the “excesses,” only baking is allowed. So, they usually make pies or buns and serve them to the table. Everything should take place calmly and modestly. This is not an indicator of poverty. Rather, this demonstrates the recognition of the frailty of everything physical before the spiritual. At the table, everyone is given the floor to express their grief, share the confidence that the soul will go to Heaven, and simply remember the person who recently left this world.

Funeral feast

But not everyone has lunch these days. Some people don’t have enough time, others don’t want the extra hassle. The Church does not insist on strict adherence to this particular tradition.

It is quite permissible to replace a shared meal with a treat. What it is? You need to prepare such food that it is appropriate and convenient to serve to people without an invitation to the house, and so hold the funeral for 9 days. What are they giving away? Usually cookies and sweets. The easiest option is to buy what you need in a store. It is recommended to bake pies or cookies yourself. It is believed that by such actions you express greater respect to the deceased. You can distribute what you have prepared at work, in the yard to grandmothers and children.

How to calculate the required period?

People often get confused with this. It is best to contact Father, who will help you figure out the deadlines and tell you on what day to celebrate what. Due to its importance to the soul, you need to know exactly when to hold a wake for 9 days. How to count on your own? The first day is the day the person died. It is from this that we must count. From the moment of death, the soul begins its journey through the Kingdom of Angels. She needs help on the ninth day (and before that). Do not miss any deadlines, even if the death occurred before midnight. The first day is the date of death. The third, ninth and fortieth days are then important. You need to calculate them immediately and write them down so as not to forget. These are the dates that definitely need to be celebrated.

Who is invited to the funeral?

Family members and friends are the people who should definitely participate in the sad meal. They themselves know this. Souls demand to meet and support

each other in grief. But a wake 9 days after death is an event to which people come without an invitation. It is not customary to drive away someone who wanted to take part in it, even if they are complete strangers. The logic is this: the more people pray for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, the easier it is for it to get to Heaven. Therefore, driving someone away is unacceptable, even sinful.

Try to treat as many people as possible. And if it is not necessary to invite everyone to the funeral dinner, then you can give out sweets to everyone you meet on this day. Strictly speaking, it is not accepted to invite people to the event. People themselves should ask when it will take place (and in general, whether it is planned or not). For convenience, organizers most often take responsibility themselves and call everyone who has expressed a desire to remember the deceased.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery?

Strictly speaking, a 9-day funeral does not include such a trip in the list of essential events. The Church believes that the graveyard contains mortal remains that have no special significance. Going to church and praying are welcome. But usually people themselves want to visit the final resting place of a dear person. They bring flowers and sweets there. Thus, as it were, a tribute is paid to the deceased. But this is more important for

living than for the deceased.

Under no circumstances should you bring alcohol to the cemetery. This is strictly prohibited by the Church! If you decide that you definitely need to visit the cemetery on this day, then take care of the appropriate clothing. Outfits should be modest and not flashy. The presence of mourning symbols is also desirable. Women tie mourning scarves. Men can wear dark jackets. If it’s hot, black scarves are tied to the left forearm.

How to prepare a house for a funeral?

On this day, lamps are lit and a photograph of the deceased with a mourning ribbon is placed in a prominent place. There is no need to cover mirrors anymore. This is done only while the body is in the house. Naturally, on this day it is not customary to turn on music or watch funny films and programs.

You can place a glass of water and bread in front of the icon as a sign of help to a soul traveling through an as yet unknown world. It is desirable that an atmosphere of severity reign in the house. If you invite people to dinner, then worry about their comfort. Usually carpets are removed from the floor so that you can walk around the house in shoes. You also need to place a small vase or plate near the photograph of the deceased. This is where the money will be put. This is done when a lot of people come, including strangers to the household. They may express a desire to donate some amount to the monument. And giving money to relatives is not always convenient.